Re: Holiday Prayer

1

Having reached the limit of the merely human cockblock, ogged moves on to the divine.


Posted by: washerdreyer | Link to this comment | 11-21-07 12:37 PM
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Cute Iranian lawyer, Ogged! Go for it!


Posted by: jms | Link to this comment | 11-21-07 12:39 PM
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She sounds nice.


Posted by: Matt F | Link to this comment | 11-21-07 12:39 PM
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Why are you afraid to let yourself be happy, Ogged?


Posted by: Di Kotimy | Link to this comment | 11-21-07 12:39 PM
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What else is there to say besides 1?


Posted by: Wrongshore | Link to this comment | 11-21-07 12:39 PM
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"Hordesome"?


Posted by: Minivet | Link to this comment | 11-21-07 12:40 PM
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5: He's afraid happiness will ruin the blog.

He suffers for us.


Posted by: peep | Link to this comment | 11-21-07 12:42 PM
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6: English isn't his first language.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 11-21-07 12:42 PM
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You could introduce her to me, ogged.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 11-21-07 12:43 PM
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WD ends the game before it begins. Send me her number, ogged?


Posted by: FL | Link to this comment | 11-21-07 12:45 PM
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Her mom and Ogged's mom should do lunch.

In Diana Abu-Jaber's book "Arabian Jazz" one of the characters meets the cousin she's supposed to get married to and they hit it off wonderfully. They come to an agreement to let people think that they're engaged just to get the heat off, with a tiny hint of an option to actually get married someday.

In Abu-Jaber's book all the honkies are caricatures. Occidentalism right before your eyes. Highly recommended, and she's cute too.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 11-21-07 12:45 PM
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12

She sounds nice.

She sounds tall.


Posted by: Po-Mo Polymath | Link to this comment | 11-21-07 12:45 PM
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"Hordesome"?

Ogged's been playing a lot of World of Warcraft lately.


Posted by: Matt F | Link to this comment | 11-21-07 12:45 PM
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God laughs at your prayers, Ogged-jan.


Posted by: Cosma | Link to this comment | 11-21-07 12:48 PM
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Ogged is so racist. If she weren't Iranian, wouldn't you be totally in love, O?


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 11-21-07 12:50 PM
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Ogged, you dummy, she's a *lawyer*. The two of you could probably afford to buy a house.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 11-21-07 12:53 PM
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Let's see: she's attractive, intelligent, well-educated, financially solvent, and Iranian.

Yeah, you'd best resist the temptation to make your mother a very happy woman.


Posted by: Invisible Adjunct | Link to this comment | 11-21-07 12:53 PM
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Ogged-jan

That made me laugh.

AWB, if I weren't Iranian, I wouldn't know what I would be in for. It's taken me all my years to train my relatives into merely low-level bitterness that I never call or visit, and I'm supposed to go to work on another fifty people now? I'm practically middle-aged, man.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 11-21-07 12:54 PM
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Plus, not only racist but misogynist. Just sayin'.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 11-21-07 12:54 PM
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Plus I thought you weren't looking?


Posted by: | Link to this comment | 11-21-07 12:55 PM
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21

Wait, Di is Iranian?


Posted by: Not Prince Hamlet | Link to this comment | 11-21-07 12:56 PM
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Oops, 20 was me.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 11-21-07 12:57 PM
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All the more reason for you to set us up together, ogged.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 11-21-07 12:57 PM
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But does she have that elusive "mental whateverness" that Ogged seeks? That's the sort of thing you'll never know from a firm bio. Just ask her out already, you can engage in the frustrating rituals of trying to connect, and when it fails miserably as all such things inevitably must, the spirit of the blog (as acknowledged by peep in 7) will be refreshed in time for the winter solstice.


Posted by: Di Kotimy | Link to this comment | 11-21-07 12:59 PM
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does she have that elusive "mental whateverness" that Ogged seeks?

Few do, Di, few do.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 11-21-07 1:01 PM
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Maybe she avoids her family, too, Ogged.

I keep thinking of terms under which I would consider marriage, and most of them are things like "Is not interested in my family," "Will not try to befriend my family," "Will not require me to spend time with his family," "Will not ask me to befriend his family," "Is not seeking to increase the size of his family," etc.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 11-21-07 1:02 PM
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21 made me laugh. My clothes, however, are utterly lacking in any sort of "elegant cut."


Posted by: Di Kotimy | Link to this comment | 11-21-07 1:02 PM
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[26b because I get SO many offers I have to narrow them down somehow.]


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 11-21-07 1:03 PM
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AWB wants Matt Damon's character from The Departed.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 11-21-07 1:03 PM
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I think Ogged is pulling our chain, yet again. There's no cute Iranian lawyer. I don't believe. Not that he could even do anything if there were. This is a reverse psychology reverse cockblock prayer, and well, I got nothin.


Posted by: tweedledopey | Link to this comment | 11-21-07 1:03 PM
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26: On the other hand, you might want to consider this: Mr. B. gets along really well with my family, which means that when we do have to get together (like tomorrow) I can just fade into the background and let him be the one doing all the interacting.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 11-21-07 1:09 PM
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Lady lawyers are not averse, in my experience, to a bit of skirt-raising in the corner office when the old partner's away, in case that helps motivate you.


Posted by: Flippanter | Link to this comment | 11-21-07 1:09 PM
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33

Why, golly, Flip. That doesn't sound very ladylike!


Posted by: Di Kotimy | Link to this comment | 11-21-07 1:12 PM
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Are we sure she's Iranian, and not Swedish?


Posted by: SomeCallMeTim | Link to this comment | 11-21-07 1:12 PM
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26: Is this really all that common? I'm used to people being miles from their families and pretty indifferent to the situation. I'd imagine it would be common in a magnet metropolis such as NYC.


Posted by: Po-Mo Polymath | Link to this comment | 11-21-07 1:13 PM
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I'm used to people being miles from their families and pretty indifferent to the situation.

You, sir, must be a honky.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 11-21-07 1:16 PM
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That doesn't sound very ladylike!

It was one of those things where the Peter O'Toole quote of a few weeks ago applied in spades. I still blush to remember.


Posted by: Flippanter | Link to this comment | 11-21-07 1:17 PM
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37: Details, please!


Posted by: Knecht Ruprecht | Link to this comment | 11-21-07 1:24 PM
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39

You, sir, must be a honky.

True, true, but 35 is also true of the very large number of Chinese immigrant kids that I've known. If their grandparents weren't living with them, the extended family was pretty much ignored (it usually helps that it's tiny to begin with). Can't say I've known enough of any other particular immigrant demographic for remotely significant anecdatal conclusions.


Posted by: Po-Mo Polymath | Link to this comment | 11-21-07 1:24 PM
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I keep thinking of terms under which I would consider marriage, and most of them are things like "Is not interested in my family," "Will not try to befriend my family," "Will not require me to spend time with his family," "Will not ask me to befriend his family," "Is not seeking to increase the size of his family," etc.

Or, more briefly, "I keep thinking of terms under which I would consider marriage, and most of them are things like, "Is not interested in the institution of marriage."


Posted by: Gonerill | Link to this comment | 11-21-07 1:24 PM
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40: Ding ding ding!


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 11-21-07 1:27 PM
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42

38: Office trysts, extremely expensive underwear, jealousy, face-punching, that sort of thing.


Posted by: | Link to this comment | 11-21-07 1:28 PM
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The face-punching part really doesn't sound ladylike. Did she break your nose?


Posted by: Di Kotimy | Link to this comment | 11-21-07 1:31 PM
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42: You work for Cage, Fish and Associates?


Posted by: Knecht Ruprecht | Link to this comment | 11-21-07 1:31 PM
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42 was my bashful summary.


Posted by: Flippanter | Link to this comment | 11-21-07 1:32 PM
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44: Actually, McKenzie, Brackman, Chaney & Kuzak might be closer to the mark.


Posted by: Knecht Ruprecht | Link to this comment | 11-21-07 1:32 PM
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AWB, I thought you said you were family-friendly? I'm hoping you'll look after my kid for me when we meet up at the skating rink. I have to practice my figures.


Posted by: Invisible Adjunct | Link to this comment | 11-21-07 1:34 PM
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47: Oh yes, other people's children are lovely.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 11-21-07 1:36 PM
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40: hey, works for me.

48: is key, with stress on other peoples


Posted by: soup biscuit | Link to this comment | 11-21-07 1:40 PM
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43: She wasn't the one who punched me.

One of the reasons I blush to recite that epic is that, a few titillating anecdotes ripe for blogification aside, the entire affair was unforgivably sordid and selfish, and left me feeling pretty implacably pessimistic about what Harvey Keitel in Reservoir Dogs calls "the man-woman thing," how far one can push it, what your susceptibility to the allure of breaking rules says about you and how fate may ultimate punish you for some heavily-perfumed fun.


Posted by: Flippanter | Link to this comment | 11-21-07 1:41 PM
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49: Children you can give back after a few hours are God's little miracles.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 11-21-07 1:42 PM
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fate may ultimate punish you

Or, more often, some guy.


Posted by: Gonerill | Link to this comment | 11-21-07 1:42 PM
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51: Yes, yes indeed. Don't listen to the haters either, AWB, your conditions on matrimony work just fine.


Posted by: soup biscuit | Link to this comment | 11-21-07 1:43 PM
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I find fate punishes me for all the things I did that I didn't imagine would have consequences, and withholds punishment for all the things that should have had consequences.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 11-21-07 1:47 PM
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My niece an I have a plan to rent out her amazingly cute kid from time to time. He's a frighteningly good sweet-talker at less than three.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 11-21-07 1:47 PM
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Fate likes to fuck with people.


Posted by: Di Kotimy | Link to this comment | 11-21-07 1:48 PM
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55: My brother in law used to borrow PK and use him as a chick magnet.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 11-21-07 1:53 PM
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56 gets it exactly right.


Posted by: Not Prince Hamlet | Link to this comment | 11-21-07 1:53 PM
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I'm used to people being miles from their families and pretty indifferent to the situation.

You, sir, must be a honky.

[Hollow, bitter laughter.] Iranians have nothing on the Mormons where stranglehold families are concerned.


Posted by: Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 11-21-07 1:55 PM
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54: I think that's tautological. If fate let you accurately predict trade-offs, it couldn't mess with you so much.


Posted by: soup biscuit | Link to this comment | 11-21-07 1:57 PM
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59: I've found moving continents away from family tends to put a dent in that sort of thing... along with any other sort of family-related activities.


Posted by: soup biscuit | Link to this comment | 11-21-07 1:58 PM
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43 - Depends on the ladies in question.


Posted by: snarkout | Link to this comment | 11-21-07 1:59 PM
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Iranians have nothing on the Mormons where stranglehold families are concerned.

Oh dear.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 11-21-07 1:59 PM
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64

I'm remembering a little ditty they taught us as children:

Families can be together forever
In Heavenly Father's plan!
I always want to be with my own family
And the Lord has shown me how I can...
The Lord has shown me how I can!

My honey and I are trying to convince ourselves that we're mature enough no longer to be running blindly away from this sort of thing.


Posted by: Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 11-21-07 2:03 PM
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65

a few titillating anecdotes ripe for blogification aside

how much do you expect people to beg?


Posted by: | Link to this comment | 11-21-07 2:04 PM
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Run blindly away, JM! Run blindly away!

No, seriously, family can be pretty great, as I found out last year. But it seems that lots of support often comes with lots of opinions about how should be doing this or that.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 11-21-07 2:08 PM
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67

Before 9/11 wasn't there some kind of Iran-Utah monotheism axis in the making?


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 11-21-07 2:08 PM
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68

67: an Islamic crescent, passing through the Earth's core.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 11-21-07 2:09 PM
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how much do you expect people to beg?

Ironically, this very line figures prominently in one of Flip's anecdotes.


Posted by: Di Kotimy | Link to this comment | 11-21-07 2:11 PM
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69: Not really, she was very ... giving.


Posted by: Flippanter | Link to this comment | 11-21-07 2:13 PM
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64: That's the gist of my nephew's explanation for not coming home from his mission for his mom's funeral, delivered via a long and somewhat cringeworthy letter that another uncle read during the service. It reinforced a point I'd picked up from an article somewhere that the main thing missions do is cement young people's tie to the church; conversions are gravy. Poor kid, and fucking brainwashing adults that should have had the decency to do the right thing and send him home.


Posted by: Not Prince Hamlet | Link to this comment | 11-21-07 2:16 PM
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lots of support often comes with lots of opinions about how should be doing this or that.

On the other hand, getting this from family is marginally less annoying than random conversations about social programs, which always somehow do the same thing.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 11-21-07 2:17 PM
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My family's opinions about how I should go about doing things is often somewhat idiosyncratic.


Posted by: Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 11-21-07 2:20 PM
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70: how did it come about? did you both work for the same partner or something?


Posted by: | Link to this comment | 11-21-07 2:22 PM
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Not to mention self-contradicting! They were all totally happy that Sister 1 became first, an engineer, and second, a full-time, stay-at-home mom. She could've gotten a somewhat easier degree if she was going to leave the job market in a couple of years!


Posted by: Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 11-21-07 2:22 PM
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75: The more you're giving up, the more you show how important full-time motherhood really is.


Posted by: Not Prince Hamlet | Link to this comment | 11-21-07 2:26 PM
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This post adequately summarizes the fake reason for not asking her out, ogged. So what's the real reason?


Posted by: sam k | Link to this comment | 11-21-07 2:26 PM
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They were all totally happy that Sister 1 became first, an engineer, and second, a full-time, stay-at-home mom

Where they happy at about the two things taken individually or as a set. I don't see anything contradictory about being happy about those things individually.


Posted by: CJB | Link to this comment | 11-21-07 2:30 PM
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She was totally bullied into getting the engineering degree!


Posted by: Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 11-21-07 2:32 PM
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I think Ogged is pulling our chain, yet again. There's no cute Iranian lawyer.

Actually, all the Iranian women I've ever met have been cute lawyers. N=2, but it's been sufficient for me to form the stereotype that Iranian women generally have (1) eyelashes that put Bambi to shame, and (2) the litigation instincts of a (reasonable, ethical) barracuda.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 11-21-07 2:32 PM
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Come to think of it, I used to work with an incredibly beautiful Iranian lawyer. IIRC she left the firm and the state to marry someone with whom her family had set her up.


Posted by: Not Prince Hamlet | Link to this comment | 11-21-07 2:33 PM
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82

She might be an orphan! Worth finding out that much, surely?


Posted by: asilon | Link to this comment | 11-21-07 2:34 PM
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the litigation instincts of a (reasonable, ethical) barracuda.

The metaphor canna take much more, captin'!


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 11-21-07 2:34 PM
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84

family can be pretty great, as I found out last year. But it seems that lots of support often comes with lots of opinions about how should be doing this or that.

And this is different from your blog how exactly?


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 11-21-07 2:34 PM
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She might be an orphan! Worth finding out that much, surely?

Funny, whenever my mom suggests a nice Iranian woman I should meet, my first question is "Is she an orphan?" Of course, that's extra not nice in Iranian culture, because you shouldn't even bring up the possible death of people who are alive, etc.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 11-21-07 2:36 PM
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More on 81, and holy shit! Bar book says she's now living in Iran in some city named by Australian winos. I hope that's not one of the places Cheney has his evil eye on. She was a sweetheart.


Posted by: Not Prince Hamlet | Link to this comment | 11-21-07 2:37 PM
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Of course, that's extra not nice in Iranian culture, because you shouldn't even bring up the possible death of people who are alive, etc.

You're Iranian-edgy!


Posted by: redfoxtailshrub | Link to this comment | 11-21-07 2:37 PM
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79: was she also bullied into being a full time stay at home mom?


Posted by: Scizor Cyster | Link to this comment | 11-21-07 2:37 PM
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Irany, a Nedgi.


Posted by: redfoxtailshrub | Link to this comment | 11-21-07 2:37 PM
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Er, any adagy?


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 11-21-07 2:39 PM
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Ira? Nyah: Ned, G.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 11-21-07 2:40 PM
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was she also bullied into being a full time stay at home mom?

That's not how that works. It just made sense./ Of course they wanted at least three children./ She's such a good mother, it's a joy to see./ Her husband was happy to work harder, to achieve more, in order to support everyone.


Posted by: Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 11-21-07 2:42 PM
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Engineers are better moms, since moms frequently need to build devices of various kinds to amuse their children, or to quickly improvise devices during emergencies.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 11-21-07 2:42 PM
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Ogged, give me this woman's number. I don't want to date her, I just want to tell her how lame you are.


Posted by: Hamilton-Lovecraft | Link to this comment | 11-21-07 2:43 PM
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39: have you ever considered that moms are better engineers for exactly those same reasons?


Posted by: Scizor Cyster | Link to this comment | 11-21-07 2:43 PM
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Pardon my dyslexia, 93


Posted by: Scizor Cyster | Link to this comment | 11-21-07 2:43 PM
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Engineers are better moms, since moms frequently need to water their children, that they grow tall and strong, with shiny pelts.


Posted by: Megan | Link to this comment | 11-21-07 2:43 PM
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97, and big, strong incizors


Posted by: Scizor Cyster | Link to this comment | 11-21-07 2:44 PM
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And let's face it, if the kid is recalcitrant, there's nothing like an engineer to whip together an efficient but not life-threatening punishment device.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 11-21-07 2:47 PM
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"Now witness my greatest invention: the RECALCITRATOR!"


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 11-21-07 2:47 PM
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"Wait! Wait! I got it wrong! The DE-CALCITRATOR!"

Fuck.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 11-21-07 2:48 PM
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That's how you lost the rights to the Baconator, isn't it?


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 11-21-07 2:50 PM
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Probably.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 11-21-07 2:51 PM
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When you go NOM NOM NOM, you're a nominator.


Posted by: redfoxtailshrub | Link to this comment | 11-21-07 2:51 PM
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I bet an engineer mother invented this


Posted by: Scizor Cyster | Link to this comment | 11-21-07 2:52 PM
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75: I know what you mean, but you have to admit there's something kind of nice about families that think whatever one does is fabulous.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 11-21-07 3:00 PM
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But somewhat less awesome when they think it's fabulous because they guilted you into doing it.


Posted by: Not Prince Hamlet | Link to this comment | 11-21-07 3:02 PM
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families that think whatever one does is fabulous.

I ... uh ... wouldn't say that this precisely describes my family. Collectively, they look upon my life with a tourist's curiosity and a relative's concern.


Posted by: Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 11-21-07 3:03 PM
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Collectively, they look upon my life with a tourist's curiosity and a relative's concern.

This is my family. I used to say that if I were a character on TV, that would be my parents' favorite show, but since I'm their daughter, they're fascinated and horrified.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 11-21-07 3:04 PM
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And then every once in a while my mother tells me she hasn't slept in four days out of worry.

That reminds me that I really should call tonight.


Posted by: Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 11-21-07 3:05 PM
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110: The good thing is you can call at 3 am and not have to be concerned about waking her up.


Posted by: peep | Link to this comment | 11-21-07 3:11 PM
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because you shouldn't even bring up the possible death of people who are alive, etc.

Either she's an orphan or she isn't. If the former, then of course there's no problem since her parents aren't alive. If the latter, then you aren't bringing up the possibility of their death, but of their already being dead, which is much different. So as far as I can tell you're in the clear.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 11-21-07 3:13 PM
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For the Horde


Posted by: Lemmy Caution | Link to this comment | 11-21-07 3:15 PM
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108:

"Dear, I think that we should just think of our lovely daughter's tear through Paris as a different kind of missionary work. I hear tell that she's her special kind of outreach has been very effective indeed ."


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 11-21-07 3:16 PM
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Guilt is the glue that holds the family together.


Posted by: Invisible Adjunct | Link to this comment | 11-21-07 3:22 PM
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112: I bet that kind of pedantic hair splitting would go over just beautifully, Ben. Ogged should invite you to Thanksgiving dinner.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 11-21-07 3:23 PM
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112: You've convinced me! Next: several billion people with taboos of the type Ogged mentioned.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 11-21-07 3:23 PM
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I'm afraid I already have plans, B, but otherwise of course I'd love to go.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 11-21-07 3:28 PM
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115: For some reason, I read this as "Glue is the glue that holds families together" and I laughed and laughed.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 11-21-07 3:29 PM
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Just ask her whether she'd rather sleep with an Eskimo or an Indian, and that will take care of that.


Posted by: Anderson | Link to this comment | 11-21-07 3:34 PM
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68: Awesome once again, Sifu.


Posted by: TJ | Link to this comment | 11-21-07 3:42 PM
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AWB, I'm commenting from the non-Chinatown Chinatown bus with wi-fi. They're showing Transformers, which I expect to be less than sublime on the tiny screens.


Posted by: Bave Dee | Link to this comment | 11-21-07 3:58 PM
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You'll get no help from me. I am busily trying not to develop a huge crush on the pretty, friendly Québécoise with the charming accent in my Eng Comp 101 class that keeps preventing me from getting the best marks in the class by fractions of a grade. Did I mention she has a great smile?

....

And a boyfriend she moved to my West Coast city from Quebec to live with. *sigh*


Posted by: Nbarnes | Link to this comment | 11-21-07 4:08 PM
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I dated an attractive Iranian woman engineer in college. It was pretty awesome, though short-lived. Ironically, her father had passed when she was younger (and it was political). It didn't sound like family would have been that big of a deal. But what do I know? I'm pretty honky.


Posted by: mpowell | Link to this comment | 11-21-07 4:33 PM
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122: is this a city bus you're riding?


Posted by: Scizor Cyster | Link to this comment | 11-21-07 4:47 PM
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122: Sweet! Please report back about the ride!


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 11-21-07 4:52 PM
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DC2NY. The bus is nice enough, pretty clean. And there's an annoyingly bass-heavy sound system and bigger TVs than usual. And the wi-fi is real. So I'm quite pleased.

Also, traffic is not bad at all on I-95.


Posted by: Bave Dee | Link to this comment | 11-21-07 5:01 PM
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I too am a graduate of Tehran General. I've heard they can't really be trusted, though. Steal the silverware and s on. By the way, "Iran" is related "Aryan." Just to make sure you know they aren't Arabs.


Posted by: bjk | Link to this comment | 11-21-07 5:28 PM
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123: Need some pointers, eh?

(Kidding. Don't even try it. It will end in tears.)


Posted by: Flippanter | Link to this comment | 11-21-07 5:37 PM
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By the way, "Iran" is related "Aryan." Just to make sure you know they aren't Arabs.

Yeah, but coming from someone who can't be trusted, this is hard to really believe.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 11-21-07 5:40 PM
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You know, the best thing about this post is that it's entirely unclear as to whether Ogged's actually even met the Persian Portia in question, or whether he's girding his loins solely against the temptation posed by her lawfirm's website.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 11-21-07 5:56 PM
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Looking into this further, it looks very confused, except that Iranians were always called Iranian. So it's strange why Hitler would pick up that word, or why causasians would be named after the Caucasus mountains.


Posted by: bjk | Link to this comment | 11-21-07 5:57 PM
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Aryan got to mean 'white person' through linguistics, IIRC. An early name for the group of languages we now call Indo-European was Indo-Aryan, and it was attributed (I really don't know if this bit was accurate or nonsense) to tribes of warriors on horseback who spread their 'Aryan' languages through India and Europe by fire and sword. Racial-superiority loons liked the image, and presumed that the noble-warrior Aryans were honkies, whatever their debased descendants in Iran might look like.

'Caucasian' was more 19thC race science. Some nitwit anthropologist decided that the type specimen for white people should be the prettiest white people, and to his taste those were the people living in the Caucasus mountains, making all white folks Caucasians.

(All of this is stuff I vaguely remember, I have no sources.)


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 11-21-07 6:04 PM
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whether Ogged's actually even met the Persian Portia in question, or whether he's girding his loins solely against the temptation posed by her lawfirm's website

Well, I assumed the latter, of course...


Posted by: Invisible Adjunct | Link to this comment | 11-21-07 6:05 PM
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You think he googles common Iranian women's first names to find possible Iranian love-interests to steel himself against? Or just happened to be idly browsing though lawyer bios?


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 11-21-07 6:10 PM
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Since all Persians seem to know one another somehow, I wonder if it's a family lead.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 11-21-07 6:11 PM
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the Persian Portia

Snort. The quality of perversity is not strained. It droppeth as a constant pain from heaven upon the Ogged beneath. It is twice blest, it blocketh her that gives and him that takes.


Posted by: Gonerill | Link to this comment | 11-21-07 6:12 PM
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Interesting.


Posted by: bjk | Link to this comment | 11-21-07 6:14 PM
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Is it really fair of us to make fun of Ogged while he's sitting inside a hermetically sealed environment on a tarmac somewhere?

Eh, what the hell...

LB, no way is he just idly browsing.


Posted by: Invisible Adjunct | Link to this comment | 11-21-07 6:16 PM
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Is it really fair of us to make fun of Ogged

Sometimes, the blog just has to get back to its roots, man.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 11-21-07 6:18 PM
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you know what i hate. going around the thanksgiving table and 'saying something your'e thankful for."

i'm probably going to say something like semitones or something.


Posted by: yoyo | Link to this comment | 11-21-07 6:21 PM
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You know, every time I see "Holiday Prayer" in the sidebar, my mind for some reason goes directly to Shellac's "Prayer to God."


Posted by: redfoxtailshrub | Link to this comment | 11-21-07 6:29 PM
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I feel certain that Mr. I'm-Not-Looking was cruising the personals.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 11-21-07 6:32 PM
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141: I used to always say something about being thankful the indigenous populations lacked a system of private property when the Europeans arrived, thus drawing a disapproving stare from my mother (because I was ruining family dinner, not because she disagreed with the point).


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 11-21-07 6:32 PM
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This going around being thankful is something y'alls families do? If that had ever been tried with my families of origin, a fight would surely have broken out.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 11-21-07 6:33 PM
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I used to always say something about being thankful the indigenous populations lacked a system of private property when the Europeans arrived, thus drawing a disapproving stare from my mother (because I was ruining family dinner, not because she disagreed with the point).

Have you ever heard William Burroughs' Thanksgiving Prayer?


Posted by: redfoxtailshrub | Link to this comment | 11-21-07 6:37 PM
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you know what i hate. going around the thanksgiving table and 'saying something your'e thankful for."

This inspired me to look up a bit of dialogue from a Tom Stoppard playlet. The speaker is an English civil servant reviewing an application from an American to become a British subject.

"Americans are a very modern people of course. They are a very open people too. They wear their hearts on their sleeves. They don't stand on ceremony. They take people as the are. They make no distinction about a man's background, his parentage, his education. They say what they mean and there is a vivid muscularity about the way they say it. They admire everything about them without reserve or pretence of scholarship. They are always the first to put their hands in their own pockets. They press you to visit them in their own home the moment they meet you, and are irrepresibly goodhumoured, ambitious, and brimming with self-confidence in any company. Apart from all that I've got nothing against them."


Posted by: Gonerill | Link to this comment | 11-21-07 6:38 PM
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145: I'm imagining: "I'm really thankful Uncle Bphd isn't being nearly so much of a churlish lout this year."


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 11-21-07 6:38 PM
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Uncle Bphd is coming to dinner tomorrow. PK "NOOOOOO! Not Uncle Bphd!" Me: "Look, PK, he just doesn't know how to talk to kids so he teases. Ignore it."

The thing is, he's coming with his sister, my mom. I anticipate that my role will be drinking a lot and hiding on the back porch smoking. Unfortunately, mom smokes too, though.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 11-21-07 6:42 PM
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The BJK's go around and say what we're not thankful for. It's much more interesting.


Posted by: bjk | Link to this comment | 11-21-07 6:42 PM
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146: That's awesome. Thanks, fishbasket!


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 11-21-07 6:44 PM
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Hooray! I was hoping that it would be new for you.


Posted by: redfoxtailshrub | Link to this comment | 11-21-07 6:48 PM
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147 is great. As usual, I'm torn between sympathy for the Brit and sympathy for the American.


Posted by: Invisible Adjunct | Link to this comment | 11-21-07 6:51 PM
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We tend to lay an actual Jesus-referencing grace on unsuspecting visitors to the Flippanter Family Thanksgiving Special, but after that, unless the talk takes a theological turn, we don't stand on seasonal ceremony.

That said, I am thankful a friend of mine wasn't hurt in a recent traffic accident. Hail Arioch.


Posted by: Flippanter | Link to this comment | 11-21-07 6:52 PM
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Ogged, you are behind. You should be on your second marriage by now. Marry the Iranian lawyer.


Posted by: will | Link to this comment | 11-21-07 6:53 PM
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Somewhat on topic, I am having 21 or 22 people at my house for Thanksgiving. Mostly family.


Posted by: will | Link to this comment | 11-21-07 6:55 PM
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Ogged, you are behind. You should be on your second marriage by now.

He kicked off with a starter cockblock and advanced from there.


Posted by: Gonerill | Link to this comment | 11-21-07 6:56 PM
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68: an Islamic crescent, passing through the Earth's core.

I was a bit surprised to discover that some of the usual suspects are still flogging the "Oh Noes! Flight 93 Memorial is an Islamic Crescent Pointing to Mecca" story. Tancredo is getting involved.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 11-21-07 7:06 PM
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B, you know what you ought to do? Sneak up behind Uncle BPhd, grab the waistband of his tighty-whities, and give him a wedgy. It's a foolproof icebreaker, and not only will PK love it, he'll also develop savoir-faire.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 11-21-07 7:07 PM
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Oh, man, the links in 158 are truly depressing. "They're not denying it's a crescent! They're all but admitting it!"

Apparently, geometry hates America.


Posted by: mrh | Link to this comment | 11-21-07 7:20 PM
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geometry hates America

Doesn't everyone?


Posted by: Not Prince Hamlet | Link to this comment | 11-21-07 7:27 PM
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a persian rival..
can't compete


Posted by: read | Link to this comment | 11-21-07 8:08 PM
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I bet ogged's mom knows the lawyer's mom. The lawyer is probably posting something like this on girl-bizzaro-Unfogged right now: "Let me resist beguilement by the cute Iranian lawyer blogger, Lord, and guide me not into temptation.


Posted by: mcmc | Link to this comment | 11-21-07 8:10 PM
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"


Posted by: mcmc | Link to this comment | 11-21-07 8:12 PM
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I love the idea of girl-bizarro-Unfogged. What would it be like?


Posted by: I don't pay | Link to this comment | 11-21-07 8:16 PM
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Cooties!


Posted by: Not Prince Hamlet | Link to this comment | 11-21-07 8:17 PM
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165


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 11-21-07 8:20 PM
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165: It would be full of cock jokes.


Posted by: mcmc | Link to this comment | 11-21-07 8:27 PM
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146: I found this oddly moving.


Posted by: jms | Link to this comment | 11-21-07 9:39 PM
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Everyone would be self-assured in real life, and deferential online.


Posted by: TJ | Link to this comment | 11-21-07 9:44 PM
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Geez, people, I've mentioned her before.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 11-21-07 10:51 PM
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146: I found this oddly moving.

Oddly?

I can't see the YouTube version, but I assume it's Burroughs reading his Thanksgiving poem.

Burroughs toured with Laurie Anderson for a while doing spoken word performance with her. Great.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 11-21-07 10:54 PM
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She's on the short and curvy side, but then I don't have all my kidneys, so I have to recalibrate a bit here.

That's taking a strong stand against (the historically contingent and culturally specific and basically crazy standards of) the fashion industry, what with your (reluctant and begrudging) willingness to recalibrate (just a little bit).


Posted by: Invisible Adjunct | Link to this comment | 11-21-07 11:03 PM
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For each kidney you lose to cancer, you sell 2 inches and 15 pounds of bargaining room.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 11-21-07 11:07 PM
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So Ogged can budge 1 inch and 7 pounds?


Posted by: TJ | Link to this comment | 11-21-07 11:09 PM
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And if the sexes were reversed, would the she be similarlt able to sell 2 inches and 15 pounds? 2 inches, of course, from a location TBD.


Posted by: TJ | Link to this comment | 11-21-07 11:11 PM
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Geez, people, I've mentioned her before.

You didn't say she was a lawyer.

So Ogged can budge 1 inch and 7 pounds?

More like .5" and 5 lbs.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 11-21-07 11:24 PM
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And clearly soup and AWB should marry each other.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 11-21-07 11:27 PM
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Oh ho, it's *that* cute Iranian woman. I sense a date coming up.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 11-21-07 11:33 PM
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Date s/b "yes, dammit, I WILL smile back at her in the elevator"


Posted by: Not Prince Hamlet | Link to this comment | 11-22-07 12:41 AM
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Clearly, we need to be figuring out the perfect pick-up line for ogged to use on the elevator.

"You know what I hate about elevators?" [/Andy Rooney voice]


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 11-22-07 12:54 AM
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"Going up... or going down?" [/unpleasant leer]


Posted by: DS | Link to this comment | 11-22-07 12:56 AM
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That was 6 months ago, and he still likes her? Even seems to like her *more*? Ha ha, ogged's got a crush! C'mon O-boy, you can easily do some digging about her family under a Thanksgiving pretext. (Or, wait, have you ever actually spoken to her? Am I getting ahead of myself?)


Posted by: asilon | Link to this comment | 11-22-07 2:21 AM
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As if prior conversation is required for crushes or stalking. Just go over to her house for Thanksgiving dinner. I had a stalker once who showed up at my family's house at 8am on New Year's Day. It's perfectly normal.


Posted by: Gonerill | Link to this comment | 11-22-07 7:03 AM
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