Re: How Did You Know?

1

My mother once gave me a Julio Iglesias cassette for my birthday. I honestly believe she forgot and grabbed the nearest item. She has a drawer full of these little gifties for just such occassions. Big 99 Cent store shopper, my mom. Anyway, to this day I am stunned. Oh, my mom does not have an ironic bone in her body, young hipsters.


Posted by: Tassled Loafered Leech | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 5:12 PM
horizontal rule
2

I got breath drops -- yes breath drops -- from the imminent Ex as a stocking stuffer our first year of marriage. He swore he thought the pakage said "bath" drops and thought it would be something nice for soaking in a tub.


Posted by: Di Kotimy | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 5:15 PM
horizontal rule
3

For our wedding we got a really godawful hideous Hallmark collectibles ornament (plastic!) that said something about "our wedding 1992" and played some shmalzy-ass music and lit up. I think maybe the tune was "the way we were" or something, I dunno.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 5:22 PM
horizontal rule
4


This, from the guy I thought I was going to marry:

1. Cooking for Dummies (a "joke" gift)
2. Men Are From Mars, Women are From Venus, Children Are From Heaven

(I have no idea what he meant by this last, other than the fact that I was working at a day care center to put myself through college and so maybe he thought it was a "manual" or something, in any case the least sentimental yet loaded present ever, not to mention the WORST)

This, from another guy:

1. Pieces of Intelligence: The Existential Poetry of Donald Rumsfeld

(I, unlike most of you, like poetry, but this guy hated it, so it was supposed to be some compromise of something "I'd like but he could hate." The thing is, I am a Democrat too, so WTF.).

I threw away all the books.


Posted by: Belle Lettre | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 5:25 PM
horizontal rule
5

A Tears for Fears CD.


Posted by: TJ | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 5:48 PM
horizontal rule
6

I never get any presents.


Posted by: Gonerill | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 5:51 PM
horizontal rule
7

You're only three feet tall. What do you expect?


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 5:54 PM
horizontal rule
8

Straining to keep this on topic, Canada may suck, but they've given a fabulous gift to the world: a tattooed Sasquatch mascot for the 2010 games.

(The other two mascots look weird, but whatever.)


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 5:57 PM
horizontal rule
9

You're only three feet tall. What do you expect?

A stepladder would be nice.


Posted by: Gonerill | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 5:58 PM
horizontal rule
10

Or we have something in a nice pair of stilts?


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 5:59 PM
horizontal rule
11

LB, I sent you, ogged and Becks an e-mail asking that something be redacted.


Posted by: Bostoniangirl | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 6:00 PM
horizontal rule
12

a tattooed Sasquatch mascot...
(The other two mascots look weird, but whatever.)

So, Tattooed Sasquatchi are not weird?


Posted by: TJ | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 6:02 PM
horizontal rule
13

I got a rock.


Posted by: Flippanter | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 6:07 PM
horizontal rule
14

12: Well, it's at least recognizable *as* a Sasquatch.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 6:11 PM
horizontal rule
15

This is supposed to be about gifts from SO's, but I'll casually ignore that stipluation and relate two wedding gifts that have rankled for the last decade: 1) A set of what we called "alien spoons," though they would more aptly have been described as x-files alien spoons, given that the handles were, um, creatures, that resembled the scary alien from the tv show of that era. This set came from my wealthiest relative, and though they were fashioned of silver, they were too scary to contemplate using -- would have frightened away the company and set children to crying. And he, the rich uncle that is, should have done better. 2) From my wife's wealthiest relative came a hand-cut (sewn?) doily, with the date of our marriage, and other relevant information, included therein. Again, from one so rich should come a nicer gift (read: big check), I think.

Which raises a question: do the wealthy not realize that they have a responsibility to uplift the poor, relatives especially, particularly at moments of gift giving?


Posted by: anmik | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 6:15 PM
horizontal rule
16

Oh, we had a good wedding present: a friend of a parent (who we did not invite to the wedding and from whom we most certainly did not expect a present) sent a tastefully framed color Xerox of a crude drawing she had done, in pastels, of the Eiffel Tower.


Posted by: redfoxtailshrub | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 6:18 PM
horizontal rule
17

15: They don't want to buy your love, anmik, they want to be loved for themselves! (And for the hard, hard work they put into embroidering your doily.)


Posted by: mcmc | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 6:18 PM
horizontal rule
18

I once asked my first husband for a sexy nightgown for Xmas. He bought me long-sleeved, high-necked lavender flannel. I should have realised that anyone whose mother had arranged his first sexual tryst [a call girl] had Mother Issues. The marriage was briefly annoying and even briefer in duration.

Best wedding present, tho': A hookah and an ounce of Hanoi Gold. Which was probably from Marin, but who cares. Ah, for the goode olde days, when knighthood was in bloom and weede cost $10 an ounce...


Posted by: DominEditrix | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 6:20 PM
horizontal rule
19

Oh, man, my psycho grandma sent us a set of stainless flatware in a smashed wooden box as a wedding present. That was about par for the course for her, of course.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 6:21 PM
horizontal rule
20

hand-cut (sewn?) doily, with the date of our marriage, and other relevant information, included therein

Handmade lace, do you mean? Actually that's a damn nice gift.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 6:23 PM
horizontal rule
21

Handmade lace, do you mean? Actually that's a damn nice gift.

One's woman's godawful is another woman's damn nice. Which means just about any item can be regifted. Or perhaps sold on eBay.


Posted by: Invisible Adjunct | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 6:26 PM
horizontal rule
22

Not if it's personalized with a wedding date and people's names, it can't. But perhaps your children or grandchildren will appreciate it.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 6:26 PM
horizontal rule
23

Beautiful and unique ***COLOR XEROX*** Includes Frame EIFFELL TOWER a visit to GAY PAREE!


Posted by: redfoxtailshrub | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 6:31 PM
horizontal rule
24

I've gotten several gifts from boyfriends that my friends made fun of. Lots of socks, a couple containers of good salt, some frumpy hiking boots, an embroidered dishtowel, a glass teapot, a food mill--all practical stuff that I loved. Every time a holiday came around when I was dating someone, one of my girlfriends would tease me about whether I was getting a blender or something equally romantic.

The few times I've gotten impractical, romantic-type gifts, I've ended up hating them. I still use that dishtowel every day and it isn't a sad symbol of anything, whereas the little diamond necklace my college bf gave to me just sits there in my medicine-cabinet, mocking me. Hey, anyone want to buy a nice little diamond necklace?


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 6:34 PM
horizontal rule
25

Canada may suck, but

... jealousy doesn't suit you, B.


Posted by: soup biscuit | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 6:34 PM
horizontal rule
26

I got a Lives of the Saints>/i> once. I remember the gilt and full-color plates, but was too young to know if it was a quality publication or Catholic kitsch.

Every Christmas my parents would give something to uncover or stimulate an interest. So chemistry set, chess board & books, slanted draftsmen's board with one of those elbowy things, etc. It was a little weird & weighty to look at the 20 piece dissection kit with scalpels and board, having never shown any interest in cutting up frogs or neighbour's cats.

What I wanted and never got was the Britannica Great Books to go with the Encyclopedias we already had.


Posted by: bob mcmanus | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 6:36 PM
horizontal rule
27

OT: I now attempt Celtics game livecommenting. Any requests?


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 6:36 PM
horizontal rule
28

Pieces of Intelligence: The Existential Poetry of Donald Rumsfeld

Paged through this book in a bookstore, and found it very funny.


Posted by: Tom Scudder | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 6:37 PM
horizontal rule
29

16 is so fantastic.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 6:37 PM
horizontal rule
30

If we ever decide that we're tired of the tree branch image at the top of the front page, this would make a decent replacement.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 6:40 PM
horizontal rule
31

getting a blender or something equally romantic.

See, I don't think it's so much that a gift is intrinsically awful, as it is terribly inappropriate for the recipient. Which, given that the giver is in this case your nearest and dearest, can be really painful. This is what you think I would like?

As far as AWB's bit above, I once got talked out of giving a practical gift. Later I told the recipient what it would have been and got a very positive response. I should have trusted my instincts and realized that my friends and family a) were projecting their own feelings about how they would feel about receiving such a gift, and b) did not actually know him well enough to judge.


Posted by: Witt | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 6:41 PM
horizontal rule
32

31: right. A blender could be a great or terrible present, depending on the person.


Posted by: soup biscuit | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 6:44 PM
horizontal rule
33

24: I'm not a big diamond fan as a rule, but if it comes with a good story...

I always envy women who get jewelry from boyfriends. Never been my luck. One of my favorite rings is one my mom had gotten from a boyfriend -- the boyfriend, in fact, that she left to marry my dad. Whenever I wore it, I always imagined him thinking wistfully of the one that got away. I may have been right, as he looked her up a few years ago. Alas, poor guy, she's still married.


Posted by: Di Kotimy | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 6:48 PM
horizontal rule
34

27:Celtics, Schmeltics. Isn't everybody watching Cowboys-Packers? Oops, I guess some people not in Dallas have trouble getting the game on TV.


Posted by: bob mcmanus | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 6:48 PM
horizontal rule
35

My sister and I agreed that one of the marks of being a grownup is that gifts like a set of steak knives are much more desireable than toys.

This comment is not meant to reflect on the maturity of anyone present.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 6:48 PM
horizontal rule
36

33: Mr. B. never gets me jewelry, which is actually fine because it's one of those things I'd rather pick out myself.

Of course, because spending a ton of money on jewelry strikes me as stupid, most of what I have is inexpensive stuff, and I don't wear it much anyway.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 6:50 PM
horizontal rule
37

I was ten. I hated New Kids on the Block. My grandmother and aunt assumed I was a typical ten-year-old, and I received a NKotB watch, button, book, and poster.


Posted by: Cala | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 6:53 PM
horizontal rule
38

34: but I can give live reports! They're doing some stupid ad break BS on the jumbotron!


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 6:54 PM
horizontal rule
39

37: Oh god, I had a friend in college whose mother did shit like this all the time.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 6:55 PM
horizontal rule
40

Of course, because spending a ton of money on jewelry strikes me as stupid

Well, yeah, it probably depends what you mean by "ton." I bought myself a $130 ring when I was deciding to get divorced, and I thought that was rather extravagent. "Two months salary" would make me cry. I'm growing to really like jewelry more for that meaningful symbol sort of purpose.


Posted by: Di Kotimy | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 7:00 PM
horizontal rule
41

for my 35th birthday my mother in law got me a recent bestselling biography of merriwether lewis (half of lewis and clark). lewis accomplished quite a lot while in his twenties and then became a drunken bum. he committed suicide a few days after his 35th birthday.


Posted by: unimaginative | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 7:01 PM
horizontal rule
42

I forgot how many breaks there are in a basketball game. Do I care about another invalid youngster? No I do not.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 7:01 PM
horizontal rule
43

Today's my mom's birthday, so I got her some chocolates and left them on the dining room table with a custom-made card. I'm sure she'll like the chocolates, but I hope the card doesn't make her sad; my dad used to make them for her.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 7:02 PM
horizontal rule
44

a recent bestselling biography of merriwether lewis

Is it the Ambrose one? I started reading that a while ago but gave up a couple chapters in. I forget why.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 7:03 PM
horizontal rule
45

I forgot how many breaks there are in a basketball game.

It's even more striking if you attend a televised game.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 7:04 PM
horizontal rule
46

43: I imagine it will make her sad, but in a good way.


Posted by: Invisible Adjunct | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 7:05 PM
horizontal rule
47

43: That sounds like a very sweet gift, Teo. The card especially.


Posted by: Di Kotimy | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 7:05 PM
horizontal rule
48

Thanks. It was kind of sad to make it; when I went into the template, the back of the card said "made especially for you by" my dad. I changed it to my name.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 7:08 PM
horizontal rule
49

Oh, bittersweet.


Posted by: redfoxtailshrub | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 7:10 PM
horizontal rule
50

40: I think we're on the same page, money-wise.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 7:12 PM
horizontal rule
51

I'll admit I teared up a little, Teo. That's really lovely.


Posted by: jms | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 7:12 PM
horizontal rule
52

Oh Teo, what a lovely thought. You're a good son.

The first Christmas we were together, and barely knew each other, although we were getting married in a fortnight, C gave me a Gameboy, for which I had no use. Considering I had got him some bizarre 'sculptural' clock though, I think he chose better.

About 3 or 4 years ago he bought me a ring - he was all excited about it and got me to open it before Christmas, which was fortunate as I hated it. (It had a blue stone! I don't wear blue!) He sent it back and kept the money.

My mum does stuff like buy me pyjamas and then tell me she got my grandmother the same pair.


Posted by: asilon | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 7:14 PM
horizontal rule
53

45: right; what I meant. Oh, look! Another outfit change for the Celtics dancers! Lead dancer is like 6'8" but a truly attractive shemale.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 7:14 PM
horizontal rule
54

She'll like it, Teo. The card probably more than the chocolates.


Posted by: Blume | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 7:14 PM
horizontal rule
55

44: yeah it was ambrose. try reading it again when you turn 35.

btw treo commenting seems to preclude capital letters except for I.


Posted by: unimaginative | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 7:16 PM
horizontal rule
56

Sifu's commentary is cracking me up.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 7:16 PM
horizontal rule
57

Way more Vegas fake tit-lookin' girls here than at Fenway. Also real cocktails available, albeit overpriced.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 7:20 PM
horizontal rule
58

Halftime means plate-balancing asian lady on a unicycle! Seriously there's been about 4 minutes of basketball and the celts are up by 23. fuckin' Knicks.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 7:22 PM
horizontal rule
59

20, 22: Hmm, you made me feel a bit guilty. But my guilt prompted me to pull the thing out of the closet, and it's paper. So a papercut, right? Is that still a nice gift? I think probably not. And what about the alien spoons? Nothing says love like allusions to anal-probing extraterrestrials.

17: Just for the record, my affection is very much for sale. And we'll be renewing our vows at a lavish ceremony this weekend. Everyone's invited. Break out the alien spoons.


Posted by: anmik | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 7:23 PM
horizontal rule
60

Acrobat lady on a unicycle is actually pretty damn impressive. The crowd is won over.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 7:24 PM
horizontal rule
61

Worst gift(s) from an SO?

Coffee mug. More than once, same SO. Finally I gave him one back.

Oh: and some sort of playing cards for some fantasy game, or something. Trading cards, I think. Collectible, I gathered. Glossy.

Oh, and an orange (silk) scarf. I look hideous in orange. Nice try, though!


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 7:24 PM
horizontal rule
62

yeah it was ambrose. try reading it again when you turn 35.

I may try it sooner.

That's the book I was reading when my dad was hospitalized for depression. My mom was looking around for a book to bring him to read in the hospital, and she thought that one might be good because he liked history. She was all set to take it over to him when she paused, softened her voice a little, and asked me, "How did Meriwether Lewis die?"

"He killed himself," I answered, and went on to babble about how this book was really interesting, actually, because it talked about how his dad had been depressive too etc. etc. (largely because that was as far as I'd gotten at that point).

She didn't take the book to him.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 7:24 PM
horizontal rule
63

44: Also, Ambrose should be avoided. Reader age is not an important variable in the equation.


Posted by: anmik | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 7:26 PM
horizontal rule
64

59: I'm sorry, I didn't mean to guilt trip you. I'm kind of a sucker for handmade gifts, and I dunno, a nice personalized delicate papercut thing, I'd still probably frame it and put it on the wall. Of course some handmade gifts are hideous, but there's something about the gesture that I think is really sweet. (e.g., Teo's card, which is very thoughtful of him.)


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 7:27 PM
horizontal rule
65

63 written without seeing 62. I meant to say: present company excepted.


Posted by: anmik | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 7:28 PM
horizontal rule
66

best between-act entertainment ever: steve direnzo, world record holder for longest free-fall onto an airbag while on fire. much discussion about how one gets into that line of work ensued.


Posted by: water moccasin | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 7:28 PM
horizontal rule
67

63 written without seeing 62. I meant to say: present company excepted.

Don't worry, I don't have any particular affection for Ambrose. In fact, if anyone knows of any other biographies of Lewis I'd be interested in hearing recommendations.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 7:29 PM
horizontal rule
68

64: I, too, like personal gifts very much. My rockstar(ish) friend wrote us a song that he performed at the ceremony and later recorded on one of his CDs. It still brings tears to my eyes every time I listen. Another friend, a poet, wrote a very beatiful bit of verse. And a third, a photographer, framed some of his work, which hangs in a place of honor in the homestead. But the papercut thingie felt, I don't know, forced, like the rich uncle and aunt were saying, we don't want to buy your love so have given you this. Again, love for sale here. Cheap. Seriously, the difference is that personal gift should come from someone with whom the recipient has a personal relationship. All others should send cash.


Posted by: anmik | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 7:33 PM
horizontal rule
69

My boyfriend when I turned 25 got me five days of five things. (Graphic designer who thought of himself as a performance artist: he was really into concept gifts.) Five roses, five designs for business cards, two other sets of five things that I don't remember any more but were perfectly fine.

Then it was the fifth day, the day of my birthday, and I was expecting something really great. I had been speculating with all my friends what thing I might get five of. And then we were going out to dinner, and on the street he says, so do you want your last present now? And he gives me five grapes, and says I am supposed to eat them all at the same time. ?????????


Posted by: Blume | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 7:35 PM
horizontal rule
70

What I wanted and never got was the Britannica Great Books to go with the Encyclopedias we already had.

I have one of those that I got as a freebie years ago. My dad kind of likes it so it lives in my parents' basement.


Posted by: Not Prince Hamlet | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 7:39 PM
horizontal rule
71

69: Grapes. Five at a time. That is conceptual. Were they good?


Posted by: anmik | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 7:39 PM
horizontal rule
72

I was just on the jumbotron for the third time -- that's your present.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 7:41 PM
horizontal rule
73

I was just on the jumbotron for the third time -- that's your present.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 7:42 PM
horizontal rule
74

Your presence is present enough, Sifu. And I really mean that.


Posted by: Invisible Adjunct | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 7:43 PM
horizontal rule
75

No, they were just regular grapes. I was puzzled.


Posted by: Blume | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 7:43 PM
horizontal rule
76

Every time I read the title of this thread, I think, "A gift card for fashion!"


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 7:45 PM
horizontal rule
77

I double-posted, that's your next present.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 7:47 PM
horizontal rule
78

My mom just called. She liked the gift and the card.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 7:48 PM
horizontal rule
79

OK, the resolution of 69 is baffling in many ways, but I am also left with a question:

Blume is a woman/gay man?

Was this really obvious?

Now that I think on it, I may have even had evidence before, but, for some reason, read Blume as a male. Strange. Says more about me, no doubt....


Posted by: JRoth | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 7:50 PM
horizontal rule
80

Nice work, teo.


Posted by: JRoth | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 7:51 PM
horizontal rule
81

teo that is very sweet.

Celts up by 36 so I might have more time to comment now.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 7:52 PM
horizontal rule
82

If someone's saying something intelligent we naturally assume that they're male absent evidence to the contrary. Which is actually kind of a strange custom, but there you have it.


Posted by: Not Prince Hamlet | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 7:52 PM
horizontal rule
83

I've always read Blume as a woman. And by always I mean for the last eight weeks. But I'm not sure if that's because of context clues, a clear piece of evidence, or assumptions.


Posted by: anmik | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 7:53 PM
horizontal rule
84

Blume is not male, I am fairly certain.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 7:55 PM
horizontal rule
85

I don't remember any bad presents. When I got married, I am sure that we got things that I didnt care about, but I cannot remember anything that upset me.

I will recount a story about my son. Two years ago, my dad bought my son a 90 cc motorcycle. Three years ago, he had got my son a really cool present. So, last year, we are opening presents and my son is very excited (10 1/2 yrs old). He gets a sweater. He presses a smile on his face and says "thank you granddad!!" He never expressed any disappointment. A sweater?? For a 10 yr old boy???!?!?!?!


Posted by: will | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 7:56 PM
horizontal rule
86

But yeah, JR, you're pretty out of it.


Posted by: Not Prince Hamlet | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 7:56 PM
horizontal rule
87

Celtics doubling the Knicks score. They might pull this one out!


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 7:57 PM
horizontal rule
88

85: You must have been really proud of him. Your son, I mean. Seriously, that's a tough thing for a kid, any kid, to pull off: the I-hate-this-but-know-not-to-be-mean-about-it smile and thank you. Grandpa, on the other hand, is banned.


Posted by: anmik | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 7:58 PM
horizontal rule
89

Ray Allen for 3. 80 - 37. Ouch.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 7:58 PM
horizontal rule
90

Celtics dancers wearing hot pants and hoodies: 'th?


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 8:00 PM
horizontal rule
91

89: I've not said anything before now, but I'm very, very jealous. I grew up a rabid Celtics fan, son of a rabid Celtics fan, and am thrilled with the current turn of events. I've also always loved watching Ray Allen shoot. So pure it's art: elevate, stroke, parabola, splash.


Posted by: anmik | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 8:01 PM
horizontal rule
92

88: True fact. I was apparently visibly disappointed by a popcorn popper from an aunt at about the same age, and caught hell for it.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 8:01 PM
horizontal rule
93

So 83 + 86 makes me sexist and an idiot.

Goddammit.

Don't ask me why I would associate the German word for "flower" with "male."

Anyway, sorry, Blume. Although I was apparently rampantly clueless about some portion of it, I've been enjoying your comments.



Posted by: JRoth | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 8:02 PM
horizontal rule
94

Aw, your son rocks, Will. And I disagree with Anmik--grandpa doesn't have to spoil the kid rotten *every* year.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 8:02 PM
horizontal rule
95

My grandma got in the habit of getting me decorative plates to hang on the wall when I was a kid in the 6-10 range. Before each one, my mom would help steel me for the disappointment, saying she had reminded Grandma that I like active toys, but that Grandma doesn't always get the message.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 8:03 PM
horizontal rule
96

I might well have been TOTALLY THRILLED by a popcorn popper at that age, if it was the cheesy reproduction movie-theater kind of thing. I had a real taste for Hammacher Schlemmer kinds of items, which I never actually received.


Posted by: redfoxtailshrub | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 8:03 PM
horizontal rule
97

anmik:

I have an amazing son. A truly amazing fabulous son whom I do not deserve.

I also have an amazingly kissy and huggy daughter.


Posted by: will | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 8:03 PM
horizontal rule
98

91: I grew up watching 'em, but it's been so depressing the past decade. Tonight is a massacre: awesome. Glad my friend kept his season tickets.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 8:04 PM
horizontal rule
99

94: You're overly tolerant of crap-ass gifts. But you're also right: gramps gets to give what he wants. It's up to parents to teach their kids to appreciate gifts, regardless of how much they suck. But alien spoons? That shit is beyond the pale.


Posted by: anmik | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 8:04 PM
horizontal rule
100

No apologies called for! Group hug!


Posted by: Blume | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 8:05 PM
horizontal rule
101

100: oh hell yeah.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 8:07 PM
horizontal rule
102

All the grandkids realize that gramps is like the lottery, only with much better odds.

Heck, we went to lunch the other day and he ended up buying me two pairs of lucky jeans. Merry Christmas to me.


Posted by: will | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 8:09 PM
horizontal rule
103

My wife got me a mandolin for the last happy birthday we spent together. A mandolin is an objectively good gift for someone who, like me, plays the guitar and likes to collect small instruments. It is not, however, a good gift for someone who already has a mandolin.

I felt a little bad that she'd never noticed me playing the mandolin (I had recorded myself on it, but hadn't been into it for two years or so). I felt much worse knowing how much of a jackass she would feel once I told her, because it was both a thoughtful (perfect for me) and a thoughtless (you never noticed I had a mandolin?) gift.


Posted by: Wrongshore | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 8:11 PM
horizontal rule
104

93: No, no, no. Sexist idiot is an important role around here. We all have to do our part.


Posted by: Not Prince Hamlet | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 8:12 PM
horizontal rule
105

Terrible gifts from significant others:
- A giant, tacky synthetic ruby cocktail ring from a mall jewelry store. I was fifteen. When we broke up, he took it back and threw it in a duck pond. Then he continued to make payments on it for months.
- A book called "In Defense of Elitism"
- Two months before cheating on me, for my birthday, my last ex gave me a butcher knife. He probably thought the symbolism would be lost on me.

Somewhere at my mother's house is a lawn-sized trash bag full of stuffed animals guys have given me. Those are not as lame as the garbage can full of socks I got for Christmas when I was seven, but at least I wore the socks.


Posted by: Amber | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 8:12 PM
horizontal rule
106

My wife got me a mandolin for the last happy birthday we spent together.

I assume you mean "happy birthday" as the name of that day, but when I read this, it sounded awfully tragic. The very last happy birthday. Before that Thing That Happened.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 8:13 PM
horizontal rule
107

On second thought, maybe that is what you mean. Sorry. I've forgotten whether you're still married.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 8:14 PM
horizontal rule
108

97: Realizing how great he is means that you very likely do deserve him. But a kissy and huggy daughter? That's too lucky. Tell me your birthday; I'll send along the alien spoons to balance the ledger.

We've got two boys, five and eight months. The five-year-old is a real sweetheart. As you say, better than we deserve. He also used to be incredibly affectionate. But school seems to have beaten some of that love out of him. The little one is still too little to have let us know what he'll be like. He did cut his first tooth today. And he's just starting to produce his first words. So far only mama, dada, and an approximation of his brother's name. Okay, I think I'm done now.


Posted by: anmik | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 8:15 PM
horizontal rule
109

106: That was how I meant it. I mostly no longer have a wife.


Posted by: Wrongshore | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 8:15 PM
horizontal rule
110

109: I apologize. My misreading was callous.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 8:16 PM
horizontal rule
111

I thought you guys had divorced and gotten remarried to each other?


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 8:17 PM
horizontal rule
112

A giant, tacky synthetic ruby cocktail ring from a mall jewelry store. I was fifteen. When we broke up, he took it back and threw it in a duck pond. Then he continued to make payments on it for months.

Ah, young love.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 8:17 PM
horizontal rule
113

Why are you trying to depress us, Wrongshore?


Posted by: Brock Landers | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 8:17 PM
horizontal rule
114

107: Final paperwork on the divizzle goes down December 15th. My wife asked for a short extension so she can continue to have dental insurance til she's finished getting some work done. This made my girlfriend sad. It made for an interesting week.

110: No apology necessary. My writing was artfully ambiguous, because I am full of art. Or eels, or something else.


Posted by: Wrongshore | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 8:18 PM
horizontal rule
115

Heebie, if you want any more of those plates, I inherited about 20 of them.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 8:18 PM
horizontal rule
116

99: The spoons I'll grant you. Expensive and ugly is not good.

I just opened a box of clothes for PK and said, "look, PK, I bought you some clothes but I am not keeping them to give you as a Christmas present."

"Thank you," he said.

"But aren't these cute pants?" I asked, pushing it.

"Yeah, they're great. Mama, I'm trying to watch cartoons."

Hmph.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 8:19 PM
horizontal rule
117

Why are you trying to depress us, Wrongshore?

Yeah, that's my job.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 8:19 PM
horizontal rule
118

111: You may be thinking of me. He's Wrongshore, I'm usually wrong, confusion is inevitable.


Posted by: Not Prince Hamlet | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 8:19 PM
horizontal rule
119

113: I am trying to keep your mind off revolution with tales of personal woe. Woe!

111: Really? Or are you funning?


Posted by: Wrongshore | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 8:19 PM
horizontal rule
120

Heebie, if you want any more of those plates, I inherited about 20 of them.

Yes, but what is the theme? Mine all have the matching theme of Teddy Bears. I'm not kidding, either.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 8:20 PM
horizontal rule
121

118: Really? How cool. Archive link, please. I missed that.


Posted by: Wrongshore | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 8:20 PM
horizontal rule
122

I got a souvenier M*A*S*H plate from my grandma once, but I liked it. I felt guilty when, years later, it went in the pile of "stuff I am not going to keep."


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 8:21 PM
horizontal rule
123

114: Hey, barring surprises, I'm all done that week, too!


Posted by: Di Kotimy | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 8:21 PM
horizontal rule
124

Maybe I was thinking of NPH. You guys took a year off? I think it came up in a thread about anniversaries and you said you celebrated the anniversary of the remarriage but not the original marriage?


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 8:22 PM
horizontal rule
125

120: Okay, that's kind of awesome, actually. Please tell me you've got them all hanging in rows on a wall somewhere.

Wrongshore, it's good of you to postpone the divorce date so your soon-to-be-ex can get the dental work done, by the way.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 8:22 PM
horizontal rule
126

122: It is a bittersweet freedom to realize that there are people who are going to periodically de-clutter, that there are people who are going to have awesome closets full of hidden treasures, that you have cast your lot with the former, and that ne'er the twain shall meet.


Posted by: Wrongshore | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 8:23 PM
horizontal rule
127

I think it came up in a thread about anniversaries and you said you celebrated the anniversary of the remarriage but not the original marriage?

That was definitely NPH.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 8:23 PM
horizontal rule
128

If you people had subscribed to my newsletter, you would know that Wrongshore and Di were about to become available.


Posted by: will | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 8:24 PM
horizontal rule
129

126: Actually that particular sorting was occasioned by my mother selling the house while I was still living in student apartments, and her basically getting rid of almost everything.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 8:24 PM
horizontal rule
130

125: They are all hanging up in the bathroom near my bedroom in my parents house, just sitting there oozing QVC channel.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 8:24 PM
horizontal rule
131

116: We've learned not to push for more gratitude than the boy wants to offer. But there are days, if I've given him something I think is really cool, that I still seek more. Those are, without exception, the days that he dismisses me.


Posted by: anmik | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 8:24 PM
horizontal rule
132

If I've been paying attention, Wrongshore has long since been solidly snapped up.


Posted by: Di Kotimy | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 8:25 PM
horizontal rule
133

I now attempt Celtics game livecommenting. Any requests?

Could you post a picture of Marbury sulking on the bench? Loved House raining down threes to push the lead to 50.


Posted by: baa | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 8:26 PM
horizontal rule
134

125: Thanks for noting that. It's the sort of thing I don't feel like patting my back for, for obvious reasons.

The weird thing is that my gf's dad is a dentist, and would be happy to do this favor. But it's a weird favor.

I asked my ex today what kind of work she was getting done, to see if Dr. Gf's Dad can do it, and without telling her. She's already started the work, so I didn't raise the issue.

But it would actually feel pretty good to me to be able to help her out with that -- like by both moving the divorce date back up and helping her out, I was transitioning her properly into my extended family.

It might feel to her that I was putting her in an awkward situation in order to get rid of her, which wouldn't be the intention.


Posted by: Wrongshore | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 8:26 PM
horizontal rule
135

anmik:

First tooth and first words? That is fabulous. Such fun times. Congrats.


Posted by: will | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 8:27 PM
horizontal rule
136

124: I think I said that's what my wife does, except that what really happens is that with two to remember we tend to end up forgetting both. But the counting is pretty easy because the divorce decree was final on the fifth anniversary of the first marriage, so if you're going for total years you can measure from the second date and add five.


Posted by: Not Prince Hamlet | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 8:27 PM
horizontal rule
137

130: Just wait, when it comes time to throw them out, you'll cry a little.

131: Gratitude?! I just want him to *look* at the pants and tell me if he's going to refuse to wear the damn things.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 8:29 PM
horizontal rule
138

134: Wow, that sounds so civil.


Posted by: Di Kotimy | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 8:29 PM
horizontal rule
139

Wrongshore is a good guy. I believe in karma. Of course, doing the right thing is the right thing. Except when no good deed goes unpunished.

I kept my ex on the health insurance long past the time when I had too. She was actually kind of bitchy about it. But, we get along fairly well now.

Today is her 40th birthday. I called her and sang The Old Grey Mare to her.


Posted by: will | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 8:30 PM
horizontal rule
140

134: Yeah, I think just letting her get it done on her own and signing the paperwork a little later is probably the more tactful approach.

In any case, I've seen a lot of people be petty buttheads over divorce, so I'm impressed when people manage to be classy about it.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 8:31 PM
horizontal rule
141

Today is her 40th birthday. I called her and sang The Old Grey Mare to her.

I swear to god if anyone does that to me on my 40th I will take out a contract on them.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 8:32 PM
horizontal rule
142

Sifu, this is worse for a Knicks fan than seeing Van Gundy being dragged by Mourning's leg.


Posted by: washerdreyer | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 8:32 PM
horizontal rule
143

105:

I HATE stuffed animals too. They make terrible, useless presents, worse than knick knacks (and I on occasion like candleholders and whatnot). What on earth do people do with them? I neither want to look at them or hold them, but I am no longer a child.

I am befuddled by adults with such affinity for sacks of stuffing, even though my roomate LOVES them (especially in the shape of Hello Kitty) and so does one of my friends, who once gave me a stuffed animal manatee. My niece plays with that one.

Also: In Defense of Elitism?!


Posted by: Belle Lettre | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 8:32 PM
horizontal rule
144

BitchPhd:

I'm going to record it and email it to you.

Her response was to remind me that she looked better and younger than I do. You can do the same when I sing it to you.


Posted by: will | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 8:33 PM
horizontal rule
145

I don't like cutesy romantic stuffed animal type gifts. But last year at Disneyland there was the *softest* Eeyore, and I so wanted it...


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 8:34 PM
horizontal rule
146

138: I am handsome and clothed, so it is easier for everyone.


Posted by: Wrongshore | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 8:34 PM
horizontal rule
147

144: You think I'm joking about the contract thing? Try me.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 8:35 PM
horizontal rule
148

133: I don't like basketball, but I'm really looking forward to playing Minnesota, just so we can have Marbury cover this guy.


Posted by: foolishmortal | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 8:35 PM
horizontal rule
149

Also: In Defense of Elitism?!

It sounds like a worthy companion to William F. Buckley's God and Man at Yale.


Posted by: Invisible Adjunct | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 8:36 PM
horizontal rule
150

147:

I read your comment. I as going to do it now, not when you turned 40.


Posted by: will | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 8:36 PM
horizontal rule
151

146: Sure, but how are the therapists in your area ever going to get their kids through college? Who's thinking about them?


Posted by: Di Kotimy | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 8:37 PM
horizontal rule
152


Ageed, Wrongshore and Will are good, decent men, and Teo is a very sweet and thoughtful guy.

Conclusion: A good thread for (non?)representative Unfogged men, interestingly on the heels of "Stay Away!"


Posted by: Belle Lettre | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 8:37 PM
horizontal rule
153

152:

I'm just trying to build up a little credit to offset all the butt grabbing I plan on doing at DC Unfogged.


Posted by: will | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 8:41 PM
horizontal rule
154

Thank you, Will. The tooth is fine, though less spectacular with kid two than one. The words, though, really are wonderful. Every time the baby mangles his brother's name -- he's not even close -- he gets this goofy, smitten look on his face. He so loves his big brother. Oops, I said above I was done. Sorry.


Posted by: anmik | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 8:52 PM
horizontal rule
155

150: Thankfully you don't have my mailing address.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 8:52 PM
horizontal rule
156

155:

Gone daddy gone. The love is gone Beautiful girl, love the dress.


Posted by: will | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 8:54 PM
horizontal rule
157

154: Don't apologize -- such sweet stuff!


Posted by: Di Kotimy | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 8:58 PM
horizontal rule
158

157:

Agreed. Anmik. No need to apologize. I rarely to talk about my kids. But Di and Bitch are constantly talking about their kids, so you should too.


Posted by: will | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 9:02 PM
horizontal rule
159

157: Thanks. That's very nice of you. Would you like an alien spoon as an emblem of my gratitude?


Posted by: anmik | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 9:04 PM
horizontal rule
160

I think Amnik should apologize because she's making me feel guilty/wistful about not being knocked up with a younger sibling for PK yet.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 9:04 PM
horizontal rule
161

Whew! Not being nice to Amnik = no offers of alien spoons!


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 9:05 PM
horizontal rule
162

I hear you. My two best friends are knocked up right now. And they both deserve it and will be wonderful parents blah, blah, blah...


Posted by: Di Kotimy | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 9:07 PM
horizontal rule
163

158: Ditto, though I may be out of alien spoons if Di claims them. Perhaps you'd like a doily/papercut thing instead?


Posted by: anmik | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 9:07 PM
horizontal rule
164

The alien spoons actually sound kind of cool.


Posted by: Di Kotimy | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 9:07 PM
horizontal rule
165

160: I think you've just gendered (dare I say "sexed"?) me female. Which is probably the nicest thing anyone has said about me all day. Or week for that matter. Alien spoons all around. And a rousing chorus of Hava Nagila.


Posted by: anmik | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 9:09 PM
horizontal rule
166

I can give you some plates if Heebie doesn't want them. They're mostly Bible, Christmas, and Grimm's Fairy Tale themes. You'll love them!


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 9:10 PM
horizontal rule
167

Nooooo! No alien spoons for me! Give them to DiKotimy!

I was probably sexistly associating wedding gifts/domestic wedding gifts (serving spoons, sentimental paper tchotchkes)/woman. I should ban myself, but I won't.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 9:11 PM
horizontal rule
168

164: They are not. At all. Scary and ugly and ostentatious.


Posted by: anmik | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 9:12 PM
horizontal rule
169

We should totally have an Unfogged white elephant gift swap. I just might actually be suckered by love John's Grimm's Fairy Tale plates, actually.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 9:13 PM
horizontal rule
170

168: Dude, you had a taker.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 9:14 PM
horizontal rule
171

Blume's 5 grapes story is awesome, especially the requirement to eat them all at once.

THAT REMINDS ME of an experience I had involving Grant Achatz prior to the existence of Alinea which I won't recount.

I don't suppose the significance was ever explained? Were they meant to symbolize Dionysius or something? Or perhaps just to be baffling? There must have been a concept.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 9:14 PM
horizontal rule
172

He's heard about my ex and know I can be suckered in by scary, ugly, and ostentatious.


Posted by: Di Kotimy | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 9:15 PM
horizontal rule
173

167: And here I thought my comments demonstrated a nurturing quality or some other essentially female trait. Oh well.


Posted by: anmik | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 9:15 PM
horizontal rule
174

166: Give the Bible ones to stras.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 9:16 PM
horizontal rule
175

Blume's 5 grapes story is awesome, especially the requirement to eat them all at once.

I think this belongs in the "Stay Away!" thread, under "why not to date Ben."


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 9:16 PM
horizontal rule
176

Vegas airport is a dump. This has been a public service announcement.


Posted by: Gonerill | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 9:17 PM
horizontal rule
177

(Though I can actually imagine being charmed by the 5 grapes thing, to be honest.)


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 9:17 PM
horizontal rule
178

176: You obviously need to travel more to places like, oh, say, Buffalo.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 9:18 PM
horizontal rule
179

And here I thought my comments demonstrated a nurturing quality or some other essentially female trait. Oh well.

If it makes you feel better, I also thought you were female at first, though I had figured out that you weren't well before this thread.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 9:19 PM
horizontal rule
180

176: You obviously need to travel more to places like, oh, say, Buffalo.

This is the wrong inference.


Posted by: Gonerill | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 9:19 PM
horizontal rule
181

I think this belongs in the "Stay Away!" thread, under "why not to date Ben."

Now now. I didn't say that I would do such a thing myself. For one thing, I haven't the cleverness.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 9:22 PM
horizontal rule
182

I'm just saying, I've been to some crappy airports, and Vegas is damn nice.

I suggest a trip to Toronto via Buffalo. Stop in Nashville on the way and visit their smoking lounge, kay?


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 9:22 PM
horizontal rule
183

"I had figured out that you weren't well before this thread."

It's true that I'm not well. And I would have guessed my problems would have been apparent to any keen observer of the human condition. The gender-bending, though, seems a bit more mysterious. But perhaps not any more interesting.


Posted by: anmik | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 9:24 PM
horizontal rule
184

171: There's a town somewhere - in Spain, maybe? - where, at the stroke of midnight on New Year's Eve, everyone is supposed to eat a grape with every chime of the town clock. They supposedly slowed down the chiming, because too many people were choking on their mouthfulls of grapes.

But my birthday is almost as far from NYE as possible, and we were in Berlin and not Spain, and it wasn't even midnight.


Posted by: Blume | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 9:27 PM
horizontal rule
185

Albuquerque has a very nice airport.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 9:27 PM
horizontal rule
186

I'm just saying, I've been to some crappy airports, and Vegas is damn nice.

I'm just saying, I'm sitting in this airport right now, and it is a dump.


Posted by: Gonerill | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 9:28 PM
horizontal rule
187

There must have been a concept.

Theme of that boyfriend's life. It was fun at first, but after awhile I was like, can't we just have some people over without a theme? Without requiring them play a game or bring something weird or share some calculatedly particular detail about their lives?


Posted by: Blume | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 9:29 PM
horizontal rule
188

Hm. Concept needs work.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 9:30 PM
horizontal rule
189

There's a town somewhere - in Spain, maybe? - where, at the stroke of midnight on New Year's Eve, everyone is supposed to eat a grape with every chime of the town clock. They supposedly slowed down the chiming, because too many people were choking on their mouthfulls of grapes.

I think this is customary throughout Spain; it certainly is in Madrid, where I spent New Year's Eve 2000(/New Year's Day 2001). We stood around in the Plaza Mayor with probably thousands of other people, and when the chimes started to ring we did indeed eat the grapes. Afterward people starting opening bottles of champagne.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 9:30 PM
horizontal rule
190

It was a lot of fun.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 9:31 PM
horizontal rule
191

Afterward people starting opening bottles of champagne.

If that had followed the grape-eating on the street, I might not be telling this story today.


Posted by: Blume | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 9:32 PM
horizontal rule
192

We were quite impressed by the amount of public drunkenness.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 9:32 PM
horizontal rule
193

184 and 185, read aloud, back to back, with no regard for what came earlier, provide a wonderful non-sequitur/piece of spoken word poetry.


Posted by: anmik | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 9:33 PM
horizontal rule
194

New Year's in countries without open container laws: objectively better.


Posted by: Blume | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 9:34 PM
horizontal rule
195

186: Okay, okay. Maybe I'm misremembering it. But I thought there were actual restaurants and shops to wander through while you wait for your plane, and like, crazy garish carpet, instead of long unremitting beige hallways.

187: Okay, that sounds really dire.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 9:35 PM
horizontal rule
196

193: Teo and I'll be performing it at the uDCII poetry slam.


Posted by: Blume | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 9:35 PM
horizontal rule
197

191: because of the choking, that is?


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 9:35 PM
horizontal rule
198

188 preceded 187.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 9:36 PM
horizontal rule
199

Blume's then-boyfriend should have been dating now-Megan.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 9:38 PM
horizontal rule
200

"Always having a crappy concept" could be a pretty special concept, extrapolated.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 9:40 PM
horizontal rule
201

Not really: persons who always have a crappy concept are pretty easy to come by.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 9:44 PM
horizontal rule
202

I vaguely assumed anmik was female because the name sounds vaguely feminine (and Dutch) to me. That's about as much thought as went into it.

As far as charming cities, I was amused to be offered a hotel room with "no view" in Albany, NY. What would be a room with a view? I asked. Well, naive me. Apparently "no view" is hotel-speak for no window. (The alternative, for $40/night more, was something called city view.)

I liked the people in Albany quite a lot, but I can't say the views have a lot to recommend them.


Posted by: Witt | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 9:45 PM
horizontal rule
203

201
"Not really: persons who always have a crappy concept are pretty easy to come by.":

Crap, now I am back to being very nervous and insecure to the point of paralysis about the concept mix CD I finally agreed to make you. And I can't ask you to turn off your automatic nitpicking and pedantry, can I?

Judge me, judge me, say that you judge me.


Posted by: Belle Lettre | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 9:49 PM
horizontal rule
204

A Catholic mass said in my & my Jewish husband's honor. This was the same year I specifically had the church where I was baptized strike me from the membership rolls, I believe--which the gift givers didn't know, but they knew I intended to convert to Judaism.

Based on all the circumstances, I honestly think it was well-meant, & not an attempt at guilt tripping or proselytization. I eventually convinced my husband of this. But wow, way to know your audience.

He also got a lot of bad astronomy-related gifts for a while since he's a tough person to shop for & majored in that in college. My favorite of which, by far, is a book called "The Very Real Threat of Comet & Asteroid Bombardment".

I do homemade stuff a lot--both serious & joke-y. I also now have a tradition of doing the most deliberately incompetent/creative wrapping job imaginable at Christmas since I can't do it neatly, but I'm sort of running out of ideas.


Posted by: Katherine | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 9:51 PM
horizontal rule
205

I never judge anyone, about anything. This is a byproduct of my thoroughgoing self-acceptance.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 9:52 PM
horizontal rule
206

Having concepts/themes for various things is fun and can be very witty. It's getting to the point where you think they're required that is problematic.


Posted by: Blume | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 9:54 PM
horizontal rule
207

Madrid is this monstrous party town. I once stayed near Puerta del Sol, where I learned the hard way -- from the sounds of people stumbling out into the streets at closing time -- that some bars close at 2, some at 4, and some at 6. We went to a dance club with some locals, and they clearly regarded us in contempt because we gave out at 6.


Posted by: Walt Someguy | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 9:55 PM
horizontal rule
208

Maybe such people eventually stumble into the concept of doing something without a concept.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 9:57 PM
horizontal rule
209

Madrid was awesome. I only regret that when I went there I was 16 and with my parents, so I wasn't able to take full advantage of the opportunities.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 9:57 PM
horizontal rule
210

test


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 10:00 PM
horizontal rule
211

When I said you could try out commenting on your phone, ogged, I meant you could try out making a substantive comment. Sheesh.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 10:00 PM
horizontal rule
212

Bitch set me up.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 10:03 PM
horizontal rule
213

Doesn't she always.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 10:04 PM
horizontal rule
214

211 is hilarious. Though I'm not sure if it's serious or not.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 10:04 PM
horizontal rule
215

LB, I sent you, ogged and Becks an e-mail asking that something be redacted.

I am feeling very left out over here, by the way.

Of course I have no idea if what you wanted redacted was redacted. But I infer from the fact that you had to remind LB about the email that it wasn't done immediately. The situation is a bit like the one described here: had you emailed me, it would have been done in a timely manner.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 10:08 PM
horizontal rule
216

This thread's been open for hours, and I'm just starting to recall that, the birthday before she dumped me (which was maybe 3 weeks before), my first GF (whom I still thought I'd marry, even 1/2-way through college, and I still don't think that would've been awful) got me... something. The GF equivalent of socks. A dull book? Wish I could remember - I was offended by it for years.

I've found recently that, now that I've been married 6+ years, my pre-marriage memories are fading rapidly. Partly it's that my old, bad GF was a total social vacuum - I hung out with her friends and relatives, plus a tiny cross-section of my own, so I no longer have much connection to most of my 20s. But mostly it's that that whole life is receding so rapidly. I remember the most minor things from 7 years ago (when wife & I were courting), but once-major things from 8 or 9 years ago have vaporized. It's weird.


Posted by: JRoth | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 10:09 PM
horizontal rule
217

A book called "In Defense of Elitism"

That is beyond weird. I'm afraid to think of what the subtext is there.

On the topic of books. I once received from my ex for by birthday Self Matters by Dr Phil. She said I should read it because she thought it would help me "soooo much". Every day she would ask how many pages I had read and asked me questions just to make sure I wasn't lying. Like I was given homework or something.

The irony is she ended leaving me for a 35 year old budding film-maker who lived in his sister's basement (she was 20). Yeah I know - I'm a dumb-ass.


Posted by: Juicy Lurker | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 10:10 PM
horizontal rule
218

Not from a significant other, but the worst gift I ever received was five or six years ago at Christmas, from my parents, a set of the CD recordings of all the sermons from the previous fall's big Mormon confab at which the church's senior apostle went on about the evils of homosexuality and how gay people can change with the help of Jesus. Attached to the gift was a note telling me I really should listen to that particular sermon, which I'd already read and discussed with some other jack Mormon friends when it was given. I came very close to leaving the room, packing my bags, and catching a cab to the airport.


Posted by: Bave Dee | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 10:16 PM
horizontal rule
219

Bave is Mormon?!


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 10:17 PM
horizontal rule
220

Ben you beautifully oblivious bastard.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 10:18 PM
horizontal rule
221

Actually, now that I think of it, I seem to recall DaveB having been Mormon. Ever since the name change, though, I've been too hung up on the sound and shape of "Bave Dee" to think of anything else when I read it.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 10:20 PM
horizontal rule
222

God, I love that handle. Thanks, Bave!


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 10:22 PM
horizontal rule
223

Ben, are you serious or are you making fun? Because I'm actually a little neurotic that I bring up Mormonism too often in conversation, since most of my more bizarre anecdotes have to do with my bizarre religious background.

And no, thank you, Sifu!


Posted by: Bave Dee | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 10:24 PM
horizontal rule
224

218 wins. My dad's given me annoying religious crap occasionally, but nothing that major. Just books which I don't bother to read.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 10:25 PM
horizontal rule
225

ben is very defensive sometimes.

Roll on!


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 10:26 PM
horizontal rule
226

I was serious. For just an instant I was taken aback. Then I realized that I was wrong to be, but I posted the comment anyway.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 10:26 PM
horizontal rule
227

Parsimon's perspicacity is exceeded only by her laconicity.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 10:27 PM
horizontal rule
228

Oh, okay, that's fine, then. I should be less neurotic. I hear there are pills for that, or hard alcohol maybe.


Posted by: Bave Dee | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 10:29 PM
horizontal rule
229

Ben, I surprised at you making such a simple spelling mistake. It's "laconiliciousness".


Posted by: Walt Someguy | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 10:30 PM
horizontal rule
230

"city" for "liciousness" seems like a fairly complex spelling mistake to me.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 10:33 PM
horizontal rule
231

Delicious (So delicious)
But she ain't promiscuous
And if you was suspicious
All that shit is fictitious
She blows kisses (mmmwwahhh)

So delicious (aye, aye, aye, aye)
So delicious (aye, aye, aye, aye)
So delicious (aye, aye, aye, aye)
She's laconilicious, t-t-t-t-t tasty, tasty


Posted by: Bave Dee | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 10:34 PM
horizontal rule
232

Laconiciliousness?


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 10:35 PM
horizontal rule
233

Now that just sounds sleazy.


Posted by: Walt Someguy | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 10:38 PM
horizontal rule
234

232 is preferred.


Posted by: TJ | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 10:38 PM
horizontal rule
235

Much better than Lacaniliciousness.


Posted by: Blume | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 10:43 PM
horizontal rule
236

Now that's laconilicious!


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 10:44 PM
horizontal rule
237

Laconiciliousness is when your hair grows extremely slowly and slightly contemptuously.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 10:45 PM
horizontal rule
238

now ben's drunk!


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 10:48 PM
horizontal rule
239

Parsimon is just trying to goad me into denying what is in fact false, the better to support her outrageous claim that I'm defensive.

I've hardly had a drop all day.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 10:53 PM
horizontal rule
240

now ben's drunk!

All this frivolity is depressing. I'm still at work.


Posted by: Juicy Lurker | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 10:53 PM
horizontal rule
241

I am eating some mediocre chocolate. (Scharffen Berger bittersweet.)


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 10:55 PM
horizontal rule
242

You don't like Scharffen Berger? Which chocolate would you recommend, then?


Posted by: Belle Lettre | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 10:56 PM
horizontal rule
243

I'll swap your chocolate for a half-eaten white nectarine on my desk.


Posted by: Juicy Lurker | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 10:57 PM
horizontal rule
244

BTW, the brownieI baked for you used Scharffen Berger cocoa powder. You liked those. I am seriously curious what you have against Scharffen Berger.

I am eating oatmeal, sadly. I am hungry, it is paper writing time, and this is all I have to eat besides delivered pizza.


Posted by: Belle Lettre | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 10:58 PM
horizontal rule
245

"Now that's yonilicious!"


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 11:00 PM
horizontal rule
246

I am, however, listening to a pretty rockin' piece: "Sound Off" by Tim Brady for 12 trumpets, 12 trombones, 15 saxophones, and 3 bass drums. I do so like the brass. Maybe I should listen to L. Beyerstein's boyfriend's teacher's piece with trombones and Dr. King.

I am seriously curious what you have against Scharffen Berger.

It just doesn't excite me. I'd bake with it, sure, but for eating plain it's kind of blah.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 11:01 PM
horizontal rule
247

"Now that's yonilicious!"

Parsimon can read, where "read" means "write from dictation".


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 11:02 PM
horizontal rule
248

Do you like stuff in your chocolate, then? E.g. truffles?

I was reading this article about the Dagoba chocolate company (the only stuff I like from them is the Xococatl hot cocoa with chilies and cinnamon) in The New Yorker (which you, Mr. No Judgment, call "middlebrow") and apparently the chocolate purists disdain those who eat choccolate with stuff in it. I hate those people, and those who claim to enjoy extremely bitter 90% cacao.

I don't mind eating plain chocolate, but I like truffles myself. All choclate is good, although lately I have preferred baking with it. Next time I will make you something ganache-y.


Posted by: Belle Lettre | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 11:05 PM
horizontal rule
249

I just ate some delicious split-pea soup with carrots in it.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 11:05 PM
horizontal rule
250

Dude, it goes toward the claim that you haven't touched a drop.

Your 12 trumpets, 12 trombones, 15 saxophones, and 3 bass drums sounds like a cataloguing endeavor. Dear god, I spent half the day counting things in such a manner, and had a flashback.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 11:07 PM
horizontal rule
251

Dagoba chocolate with lavender tastes like soap. It's tasty, but thinking about soap while eating chocolate is unpleasant.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 11:08 PM
horizontal rule
252

Also, 247 messed up its punctuation.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 11:09 PM
horizontal rule
253

Now, the other chocolate bar I got the same day I got the Scharffen Berger, this Dolfin chocolat noir à l'anis vert, was quite good. The flavor combination worked surprisingly well. This is not to say that I can only anymore enjoy chocolate adulterated with other flavorings, like bacon.

The ocumare chocolate bar you can get at trader joe's is really good. By far the strangest chocolate bar I ever tasted was, hm, I can't remember the maker but it was the one that has little folded-over packages tied with a bit of ribbon, no lie, and the sort involved the name/type/whatever Menavava, but I think that maker has more than one bar incorporating whatever "Menavava" denotes. Anyway, this bar, you would eat a bit of it and it would be pretty good, if a little unremarkable, just kind of dark chocalatey, for a bit. But then, quite unexpectedly, it would all at once become really sour, even unpleasantly so. Really weird. Good for tricking your friends with, but possibly not much else.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 11:10 PM
horizontal rule
254

Also, 247 messed up its punctuation.

How so?

The maker I was thinking of might have been Coppeneur, actually, and not the one whose packaging I described. "Subtle tartness" my eye.

those who claim to enjoy extremely bitter 90% cacao.

The Lindt 99% cocoa bar comes with instructions for how to enjoy it. In the interests of science I tried the Domori Puro 100% cocoa bar, and while I could understand how someone else might like it, I didn't. I think my ability to enjoy chocolate tops out somewhere around 80% cocoa content.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 11:15 PM
horizontal rule
255

I am eating some mediocre chocolate. (Scharffen Berger bittersweet.)

Okay, now you're trolling. 70% or 82%?


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 11:16 PM
horizontal rule
256


I like chocolate bars unadulterated (I actually like SB bars on occasion), but I also like it with stuff:

-Lindt dark with bits of pear
-Villars with hazelnuts
-Rittersport with marzipan

I actually haven't tried Guittard, although it's from CA. Or most of the Dagoba Bars

Bars I might try:

-Charles bars, which have weird things in them like carmelized rice crisp and curry or sometg
-Theo bars, which also have stuff in them

They are pricey though, so I haven't yet. I get SB bars on sale sometimes at Whole Foods. But there is a world of chocolate bars out there.

Okay, that's it, next semester I am taking you to Bittersweet Cafe . We will buy chocolate bars and have really good chocolat chaud.


Posted by: Belle Lettre | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 11:16 PM
horizontal rule
257

Have you had the Dolfin one with pink peppercorns, Ben? That one is my favorite.


Posted by: Blume | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 11:17 PM
horizontal rule
258

I've never had straight up cocoa, but it sounds like the kind of thing I would like. The use of cocoa in savory foods is a stroke of genius, in my book.


Posted by: foolishmortal | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 11:18 PM
horizontal rule
259

Vosges! That's another one I must try. I forgot.

But why I am dragging you to Bittersweet:

"We offer over 120 bars from all over the world: dark, light, white, milk, and almost every flavor you can think of, as well as a few you probably haven't yet. Here's a sampling (in no particular order) of the fine chocolatiers we present:

Bonnat, Cluizel, Pralus, Domori, Amedei, Castelain, Scharffen Berger, Cote d'Or, Caffe Tasse, Plantations, Grenada Chocolate Company, Max Brenner, Valrhona, Guittard, Vosges, Cuba Venchi, El Rey, Dagoba, Divine, Callebaut..."


Posted by: Belle Lettre | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 11:18 PM
horizontal rule
260

255: 70%.

Belle, please, don't think I haven't been to both Bittersweets multiple times.

The Charles bar yupped-up Nestle Crisp is decent, but nothing about which to write home.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 11:18 PM
horizontal rule
261


Dude, okay then. Whatever. You don't have to go with me.


Posted by: Belle Lettre | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 11:19 PM
horizontal rule
262

Neither of the Bittersweets has the selection of the chocolate stores to which I was dragged in Berlin, not even close. They say they have over 120 bars, but at any given time they seem only to have 40 or so.

Have you had the Dolfin one with pink peppercorns, Ben? That one is my favorite.

I have not, but now that I've located a reasonably-priced source for them I'll be on the lookout.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 11:20 PM
horizontal rule
263

Dude, okay then. Whatever.

Sorry. I'm just defensive.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 11:21 PM
horizontal rule
264


where is your reasonably priced source?


Posted by: Belle Lettre | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 11:21 PM
horizontal rule
265

Callebaut is my favorite chocolate to bake with, though I'm not an expert. I remember having it the first night I was ever in NYC at DuPont in Brooklyn. That is, I ordered dessert with my friend, and it's true that we were ridiculously drunk, but we both thought we were going to pass out from happiness and asked the waitress to find out what chocolate they used. That happiness still comes back every time I have Callebaut.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 11:21 PM
horizontal rule
266

265 should be DuMont, not DuPont. I should go to bed.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 11:23 PM
horizontal rule
267

Have you had the Dolfin one with pink peppercorns, Ben? That one is my favorite.

Oh, yes. I just tried that a couple of months ago, and immediately went back and bought a second bar.

The best plain dark chocolate that I've tried is Pralus. Hand's down over anything else.


Posted by: NickS | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 11:24 PM
horizontal rule
268

It is on Haight, between Steiner and Pierce. They only sell Dolfin bars ($5 a pop): it's mostly not a chocolate shop. Lots of flowers and such. I am hoping they might have some pussy willow later, though now that I think of it there's a shop in the castro that should have some around now.

(Pussy willow being the plant I characterized elsewhere as having many tufty nubbins, which I desire to put in a vase.)


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 11:24 PM
horizontal rule
269

And BTW, I will go alone to your reasonably priced source, even though I think it is fun to go to chocolate shops together.

I'm also defensive. I didn't mean to imply "let me introduce you to my famous chocolate discovery!" but rather that I myself was ignorant about Bittersweet's SF location and didn't expect that you went to Oakland all that often.

I had an international relatoins prof who told me that Bruges was really good for chococlate. I think it's sad when you have to travel so far for chocolate. I will go to Montreal this summer for a Law and Society conference and will report on its offerings.


Posted by: Belle Lettre | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 11:25 PM
horizontal rule
270

Callebaut

Every time I read this it gets translated to Calabat. I've been reading this site too much.


Posted by: md 20/400 | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 11:26 PM
horizontal rule
271


Tufty Nubbins sounds a little dirty.


Posted by: Belle Lettre | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 11:26 PM
horizontal rule
272

I am told that Pralus makes a very good 80% called "fortissima".

Is anyone is familiar with a Belgian named Pierre Marcolini?


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 11:27 PM
horizontal rule
273

Craig, who sometimes lurks here, lives down the street from the Oakland Bittersweet.

Tufty Nubbins sounds a little dirty.

Well yes. That's why I was so pleased to find out that the plant is called pussy willow.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 11:29 PM
horizontal rule
274

One of my best friends worked at the PM shop here for a while. She let me in while she was closing the store and let me try everything.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 11:29 PM
horizontal rule
275

There's a good chocolate place in Evanston, just off Main St a block east of Chicago Ave. Buys raw, makes Belgian-style chocolates.


Posted by: lw | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 11:29 PM
horizontal rule
276

I've used the SB 70% many times for a chocolate soufflé, the exquisitely simple recipe for which I've contributed to this very blog. Next time I will use the 82%, which I think will be of perfect non-sweetness matched with blackberry coulis and accompanied by Bonnie Doon framboise.


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 11:30 PM
horizontal rule
277

(I ended up thinking Marcolini is nice for getting chocolates from various locales, but I wasn't crazy about it.)


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 11:30 PM
horizontal rule
278

(Pussy willow being the plant I characterized elsewhere as having many tufty nubbins, which I desire to put in a vase.)

You can crack a smile, you can. Freakin' exhausting, I tell you.

(Pussy willows can by had by any, uh, any, uh, marsh? I don't know any more.)


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 11:31 PM
horizontal rule
279
François Pralus is one of the rare chocolate-makers (only three exist in France!) whose belief in the Aztec God Quetzalcoatl inspired the creation of his own chocolate.

Um, okay.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 11:33 PM
horizontal rule
280

You see—when I said it had tufty nubbins, it was because I didn't know what it was actually called. It was an attempt to provide a description despite not knowing the name. You see. This is why the name ended up pleasing me. It was all unintentional.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 11:33 PM
horizontal rule
281

You'd never heard of pussy willows till now?

Have you been to this place ?

Decent valhrona chocolat chaud, flavored with stuff (rose, cardamom, lavendar, etc.) and Leonidas truffles. Not as many bars though. But it's next to La Farine, which I love.


Posted by: Belle Lettre | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 11:33 PM
horizontal rule
282

The chocolate place where I got the chocolate I gave my mom today is apparently pretty well known. At least that's what she told me when she called me to thank me. I was surprised that she'd heard of it; I only know it because it's across the street from my office. Local place. Not really in the same league as the fancy places being discussed in this thread, but they had some interesting stuff.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 11:35 PM
horizontal rule
283

281 started before 280, but I have to look up how to hyperlink comments each time because I am lame.


Posted by: Belle Lettre | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 11:35 PM
horizontal rule
284

279: when I saw that for the first time, it reminded me of something JZ Smith said about Robert Graves and his translation of The Golden Ass, that since Graves really did believe in all that Isis jazz his translation had or seemed to have an authority or something that you wouldn't get from someone who approached it form the outside.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 11:36 PM
horizontal rule
285

The Belgians have everything nice. Beer, food, chocolate, firearms. And they're all insane: I have yet to meet a normal belgian.


Posted by: foolishmortal | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 11:36 PM
horizontal rule
286

I kind of missed the timing on this, but I've been working steadily (!). Anyway, a dear friend is closely involved with the A/rt B/ar folks. It may seem like a gimmick, but they're actually fanatical about the chocolate, and spent a lot of time in Switzerland finding a chocolatier to meet their standards. My friend basically doesn't eat other chocolate anymore. So, you know, recommendation.


Posted by: JRoth | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 11:49 PM
horizontal rule
287

The Belgians still don't have a new government though. Not that the lack is hurting them much.


Posted by: md 20/400 | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 11:59 PM
horizontal rule
288

They still don't have a new government? How long has it been now?


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 11-30-07 12:04 AM
horizontal rule
289

I admit I haven't been keeping a very close eye on Belgian politics lately.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 11-30-07 12:04 AM
horizontal rule
290

About 175 days. Almost half a year. Amazing.

And to think that the US Supreme Court thought we couldn't wait a week or so in 2000 to find out who might head our new government. (Yeah right.)

Almost completely OT. I saw Greenspan tonight at the symphony and he was dressed rather plainly: just a suit.


Posted by: md 20/400 | Link to this comment | 11-30-07 12:10 AM
horizontal rule
291

Well I believe that D^2 just went on the record that Greenspan, politically, is nothing but a Republican hack. But I never understood what he (D^2, not Alan Greenspan) and Bitch were disagreeing about regarding opera dress. So I don't know who's been vindicated.

Hmm... 8:23 am GMT. Anyone know which fancy financial institution Mr. Davies works for? I've got Anytime Minutes.


Posted by: JRoth | Link to this comment | 11-30-07 12:26 AM
horizontal rule
292

Shorter unfogged: But I never understood what [x] and Bitch were disagreeing about regarding [y]. So I don't know who's been vindicated.


Posted by: foolishmortal | Link to this comment | 11-30-07 12:46 AM
horizontal rule
293

re: Belgians

And they're all insane: I have yet to meet a normal belgian.

Yeah, I used to have a Belgian flatmate. He was a really lovely guy -- extroverted, funny, generous -- but mad as fuck. His friends were the same. They all drank heavily, too.


Posted by: nattarGcM ttaM | Link to this comment | 11-30-07 2:25 AM
horizontal rule
294

OK, it's now the sentimental hour on unfogged again, says me. (technically it's 4-5 EST, but nm that). I didn't know this before tonight, but there's a girl in my chem class that is a dead-on ringer for my hs and post-hs girlfriend of 3 years, and seeing even such a replica broke my heart for the night. I know it's cliche, but she was so goddamned kind. She helped my grandmother get to the bathroom and entertained my geek friends without complaint(and my friends at that time were geeks like you wouldn't believe). I know that doesn't sound like much, but she was like that with everyone she wasn't too shy to talk to. I bitch about my life, but I've dated some genuinely good people, and that ain't nothing.


Posted by: foolishmortal | Link to this comment | 11-30-07 3:20 AM
horizontal rule
295

a really lovely guy -- extroverted, funny, generous -- but mad as fuck

It's funny how often my stereotypes are confirmed when I announce them. There must be a fallacy here. But the only Belgian guy that I met that did not meet this description was a biker who proudly proclaimed that he'd worked five years for a position in the Belgian Arts Council (or some such) that did not require him to show up. He took the 300 euro/month salary and used it to bike the world. At 300 euros, he didn't have room to be generous. Still quite insane though.


Posted by: foolishmortal | Link to this comment | 11-30-07 3:27 AM
horizontal rule
296

Is it the Ambrose one? I started reading that a while ago but gave up a couple chapters in. I forget why.

Same here. I also got mine as a gift from my MIL, IIRC. Like Unimaginative, I also had the same reaction about how accomplished the subject was by the age of 31 (I think I was 28 or 29 at the time).


Posted by: Knecht Ruprecht | Link to this comment | 11-30-07 5:44 AM
horizontal rule
297

Belle, did you actually read Pieces of Intelligence It is quite possibly the best thing to come out of the last 7 years of politics.

Also, Rummy's poetry has been set to music. Phil Kline, as an addendum to his CD of music based on sayings Viet Nam Vets engraved on their Zippo lighters, arranged some of the things Rumsfeld said at press conferences, including the magnificent "The Unknowns"


Posted by: rob helpy-chalk | Link to this comment | 11-30-07 6:00 AM
horizontal rule
298

I am absolutely unsentimental about gifts. Poor Fleur experienced so much frustration trying to find the perfect gift for me, and seeing me respond with nonchalance or obviously forced enthusiasm. I really wanted to spare her the trouble, and I tried convincing her that she really didn't need to get me gifts, but she insisted, so we worked out a modus vivendi where she picks things off of my amazon wish list.

This brings me to another bit of wisdom I acquired after my own wedding: buy people the shit off of their gift registry, they will appreciate it more! I used to think that the gift registry was so cold and impersonal, and that the happy couple would really want something that came from me, straight from the heart. I now know that to be a crock, and I have the "artistic" blob of glass to prove it.

The one exception to this rule was a couple I know where both bride and groom were lefty M.D.'s. I called the NHS in the UK and had them send me a set of free commemorative photos of the 50th anniversary of the NHS, and had them expensively framed. Fleur thought I was insane, but it turns out they loved the gift and displayed it in the most prominent place in their house (or at least they did whenever I came over).


Posted by: Knecht Ruprecht | Link to this comment | 11-30-07 6:20 AM
horizontal rule
299

Re 298: it just occurred to me that it is conceivable that the lefty M.D.'s mentioned in 298 could be lurkers. Not particularly likely, since they are both so industrious, but not unthinkable, either. If so, hi J & Y!


Posted by: Knecht Ruprecht | Link to this comment | 11-30-07 6:24 AM
horizontal rule
300

Based on his writing style, his glittering eyes, and his manner, I believe that Rumsfeld was on a controlled dose of prescription amphetamine. Everything looks good when you're tweaking. I thought the same of Caspar Weinberger,


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 11-30-07 6:25 AM
horizontal rule
301

"The Very Real Threat of Comet & Asteroid Bombardment": Even better, this is the subtitle of a book called "Rain of Iron and Ice". The cosmos is so badass.


Posted by: mcmc | Link to this comment | 11-30-07 6:43 AM
horizontal rule
302

When I was 31 or thereabouts, I formed the ambition the write a screenplay based on the Corps of Discovery. It would have been a 'ship of fools' picture, playing off cultural differences among the men, and between them and the various Indians. The scene I'd most thoroughly thought out was a dream sequence at the headwaters of the Missouri, in which Colter would imagine what ended up happening to him there a few years later. Cruzatte playing the fiddle, and, near the North Dakota line, accidentally shooting Lewis. Teaching the Nez Perce to play baseball. Reprimand from the Omaha (iirc) chief about physical punishment of the men -- he would say he thought it showed an appalling lack of leadership.

Then the Ambrose book came out, the story got popular, Ted Turner bought the rights, and the dream died.

I may yet accomplish something in this life. Not sure it will be as cool as the movie would have been.


Posted by: Napiw | Link to this comment | 11-30-07 7:08 AM
horizontal rule
303

Sounds kinda Aguirresque.


Posted by: redfoxtailshrub | Link to this comment | 11-30-07 7:20 AM
horizontal rule
304

I may yet accomplish something in this life. Not sure it will be as cool as the movie would have been.

I think you should spread the gospel of St. Andre.


Posted by: will | Link to this comment | 11-30-07 7:25 AM
horizontal rule
305

But all true.

John Colter running naked at the Three Forks would probably remind people of Atanarjuat.


Posted by: Napi | Link to this comment | 11-30-07 7:26 AM
horizontal rule
306

Ambrose is one of those characters who runs off the rails at some point, after a long and sober career. His early books, from the sixties and seventies were quite sane and contrary to then-popular wisdom. By the time he had convinced himself Powell was Eisenhower and went on tour with Brokaw, I had begun to doubt if he'd ever done anything good to start with, but he had. Even late in career, on a genuinely specialist subject, he was ok. I'm thinking of his introduction to Handbook on German Military Forces, probably written surreptitiously at Marshall's behest by the politically untouchable Truman Smith.


Posted by: I don't pay | Link to this comment | 11-30-07 7:54 AM
horizontal rule
307

302: I have given up on ever accomplishing anything in life, and am focused now on not causing significant damage.

When I had ambition, though, I fantasized about writing a chamber opera based on the original Night of the Living Dead. The instrumentation would consist only of string quartet, and it would be produced for black and white film and not the stage, in order to capture the intimacy of the 1968 original.

The fact that I don't read music is a bit of an obstacle here.


Posted by: rob helpy-chalk | Link to this comment | 11-30-07 8:07 AM
horizontal rule
308

No excuses, rob. You must do this! Quit your job if you have to.


Posted by: Walt Someguy | Link to this comment | 11-30-07 8:26 AM
horizontal rule
309

There have been three Truman Smiths in history, it turns out. IDP is referring to a pre-WWII American military attache in Germany who (with the help of Charles Lindbergh) brought back a lot of information about the German Air Force. Like Lindbergh, he opposed American entry into WWII, which was why he was untouchable, but Marshall protected him because of the information he had. (All this from Google).


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 11-30-07 8:33 AM
horizontal rule
310

am focused now on not causing significant damage.

Rob makes an excellent point. It really is all about netting out ahead. Just like school. Avoid zeros and slide in with the gentleman's C.

Sadly, I've gotten my zeros, so now I have some work to do.


Posted by: will | Link to this comment | 11-30-07 8:36 AM
horizontal rule
311

Avoid zeros and slide in with the gentleman's C.

New hovertext?


Posted by: Bave Dee | Link to this comment | 11-30-07 8:40 AM
horizontal rule
312

308: I have considered it. With our current resources, we could purchase a double wide outside of Canton NY, live near our friends and survive on my wife's income. I could be with the kids and pursue any stupid idea that comes into my wee little brain.


Posted by: rob helpy-chalk | Link to this comment | 11-30-07 8:46 AM
horizontal rule
313

312:

be a Cam Boy Rob.


Posted by: Will | Link to this comment | 11-30-07 8:48 AM
horizontal rule
314

Do they have Cam Middle-Aged Men?


Posted by: rob helpy-chalk | Link to this comment | 11-30-07 8:50 AM
horizontal rule
315

I'll have to email Apo to find out.

"Watch Cam Middle Aged Man rake the leaves!"

"Cam Middle Aged Man yelling at his kids!"

"Cam Middle Aged Man Realizing his Pants Don't Fit!"


Posted by: Will | Link to this comment | 11-30-07 8:53 AM
horizontal rule
316

It brings new meaning to the phrase "adult content"


Posted by: rob helpy-chalk | Link to this comment | 11-30-07 8:56 AM
horizontal rule
317

Elgin, N.D., motherfucker!

All of my crusades seem doomed to failure.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 11-30-07 9:05 AM
horizontal rule
318

What I wanted and never got was the Britannica Great Books

Don't sweat it. You didn't miss anything. Teeny-tiny type, no margins, tissue thin pages--those fuckers were impossible to read. I finally sold the set I had to some grad student for 20 bucks.


Posted by: Populuxe | Link to this comment | 11-30-07 9:39 AM
horizontal rule
319

All of my crusades seem doomed to failure.

Uh, John, looks like your guys in ND may not be so gung-ho about new residents:

On one hand, state officials are working hard to attract people to North Dakota. The Griggs-Steele empowerment zone wired the area for high-speed Internet, improved parks and renovated apartments.
But as the conflict over the plans for a dairy here shows, residents are struggling with what Democratic state Rep. Lee Kaldor calls "cultural concerns."
Welcoming newcomers is part of the state's settler heritage, but "the average North Dakotan is German or Norwegian, Lutheran and white," Kaldor says. "If we have an influx of people with a different heritage, how will we react?"
Sen. Byron Dorgan, D-N.D., is co-sponsoring a "new homestead act" to provide incentives for people who relocate in North Dakota, but he sees the immigration debate as a "separate issue."

Posted by: Witt | Link to this comment | 11-30-07 9:44 AM
horizontal rule
320

What I wanted and never got was the Britannica Great Books

Don't sweat it. You didn't miss anything. Teeny-tiny type, no margins, tissue thin pages--those fuckers were impossible to read. I finally sold the set I had to some grad student for 20 bucks

We've got a set, picked up cheap and reasonably decorative, useful for reference. Actual students at "The College" and probably at St. John's too, use much handier and readable paperbacks.


Posted by: I don't pay | Link to this comment | 11-30-07 9:44 AM
horizontal rule
321

Phil Kline, as an addendum to his CD of music based on sayings Viet Nam Vets engraved on their Zippo lighters, arranged some of the things Rumsfeld said at press conferences, including the magnificent "The Unknowns"

This CD is really good, but the Rumsfeld stuff isn't an addendum as it comes before everything else. The best track on it is "The Funeral of Jan Palach".


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 11-30-07 9:48 AM
horizontal rule
322

(A setting of this poem.)


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 11-30-07 9:51 AM
horizontal rule
323

I received from one SO a French press for Christmas. I've gotten a lot of use out of it. Then for my birthday I got a travel coffee mug with a little press built into it, and I thought, OK, that's a little cheap.


Posted by: Armsmasher | Link to this comment | 11-30-07 9:53 AM
horizontal rule
324

Don't get your panties in a wad, Witt. They also accept Protestants of British descent, and I would expect Protestant Dutch, Flemish, and Swiss to be welcomed too.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 11-30-07 9:54 AM
horizontal rule
325

probably at St. John's too

Yep.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 11-30-07 9:58 AM
horizontal rule
326

I gave Flying Alarm Clock to eekbeat yesterday on the commemoration of her birth. I suspect it will prove to be among the worst gifts she's ever received.

(For the record, I got her nice, real presents, too, lest you think further ill of me.)


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 11-30-07 10:02 AM
horizontal rule
327

kind of a witch/monster stuffed animal thing the size of a soccer ball, that had wheels on the bottom and would roll around the floor cackle-singing halloween-ified versions of Elvis songs

Several years ago, Fleur's sister sent our children some kind of wheeled stuffed animal that sang an obnoxious song when you pressed a button, and of course the kids loved it and played it incessantly. Fleur struck back by sending her sister's daughter something equally loud and annoying, and the two of them have been locked into an arms race ever since. Since then we have received:

a candy cane that dances the Twist and sings "We Wish You a Merry Christmas";

a bling-laden frog that sings Beyonce;

a turkey in a pilgrim costume that sings a ditty to the tune of "Turkey in the Straw";

a reindeer with a blinking red nose that sings "Rudolph";

an Elmo doll that sings and performs the Hokey-Pokey;

...and many others too numerous to count. The most annoying thing is that the kids love them and won't let us give them away; we try to hide them away in the basement, but they inevitably remember them and ask to retrieve them.


Posted by: Knecht Ruprecht | Link to this comment | 11-30-07 10:21 AM
horizontal rule
328

(For the record, I got her nice, real presents, too, lest you think further ill of me.)


Ah, to be young and in love. At 40, you start giving nice, fake presents.


Posted by: will | Link to this comment | 11-30-07 10:23 AM
horizontal rule
329

326: That's awesome! What a horrible noise; I bet it's quite effective until the day you crush it with the nearest heavy object. I was thinking of getting clocky, but I'm afraid it would wake up the people downstairs be it woke me.


Posted by: mcmc | Link to this comment | 11-30-07 10:27 AM
horizontal rule
330

WANT. (My husband owns one of these, but it no longer works).


Posted by: Katherine | Link to this comment | 11-30-07 10:29 AM
horizontal rule
331

327. Knecht, in Rite Aid the other day I saw a singing George Bush doll (country) and a singing Hilary Clinton doll (disco) sitting on the shelf among the cheap gifts. be very afraid.


Posted by: md 20/400 | Link to this comment | 11-30-07 10:30 AM
horizontal rule
332

327: That's hilarious, KR. My siblings and I have had a similar war; we managed to get last year's Singing Christmas Tree to Goodwill before our daughters could get a hold of it.

We also have a hot-potato gift in the form of a hideous wreath adorned with plastic fruit. The trick would be to, say, sneak it into a sibling's car and then call them when they were halfway back to Boston and suggest that they look under the front passenger seat. One Christmas, unloading the thing involved a high-speed chase through the streets of Portland, Maine. I've just remembered that it's in our basement. Heh.


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 11-30-07 10:37 AM
horizontal rule
333

a singing Hilary Clinton doll (disco)

Thanks so much, md. Guess what my nephew (son of dittohead BIL) is getting for Christmas this year.


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 11-30-07 10:39 AM
horizontal rule
334

327: I never buy these things, but I have an irrestible eight year old impulse to press the button in Walgreen's--then it's louder than I think & I slink away.


Posted by: Katherine | Link to this comment | 11-30-07 10:45 AM
horizontal rule
335

Knecht, your story made me laugh. My dad once gave PK a "Hippity Hoppity Easter Bunny" that sang the whitest-ass bad hip hop song about Easter you could possibly imagine. Somehow it was mysteriously left behind when we moved, along with the stick horse that also sang and said things in, bizarrely, two different voices, one a man's, and one a woman's.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 11-30-07 10:47 AM
horizontal rule
336

Stanley, the flying alarm clock? You're evil.

My son wants one.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 11-30-07 10:49 AM
horizontal rule
337

Katherine, I do that too. PK pushes *all* the buttons and then stands there laughing while I hide in the next aisle and pretend he isn't my kid.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 11-30-07 10:52 AM
horizontal rule
338

the other day I saw a singing George Bush doll (country)

Fortunately, my SIL lives in deep blue country, so no danger that she will encounter one of those.

In my town on the fourth of July, there is a small parade where children get to decorate their bikes, wagons, strollers, etc. and parade through the town. Summer of 2004, Daughter One and I decorated her wagon with flags and red-white-and-blue streamers. She thought it would be a good idea to put a stuffed animal in the wagon, and she went and got her elephant.

Now I am a patient and indulgent father, but no effin' way was I going to let my child pull an elephant through town in the midst of GWB's re-election campaign. Fleur was beside herself laughing at the scene: Daughter One crying and saying "Why can't I have Elephant" and daddy gently cooing "Wouldn't you really rather have *Donkey* ride in your wagon?"


Posted by: Knecht Ruprecht | Link to this comment | 11-30-07 10:59 AM
horizontal rule
339

320, 325: I actually used the Britannica for Ptolemy and also Apollonius (the conic sections). At the time, that was the only edition they were available in. No, wait. There was a super pricey Almagest that no one ever bought.


Posted by: oudemia | Link to this comment | 11-30-07 11:05 AM
horizontal rule
340

Y'all can quit it with the 40 is middle-aged thing any time now. It may be technically so, but really. Exasperated, I am. Call everyone under 40 a child and I'll retire, satisfied.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 11-30-07 11:06 AM
horizontal rule
341

Fortunately, my SIL lives in deep blue country, so no danger that she will encounter one of those

Probably true, although I'm certain they're available in big cities, where more red-state-minded people actually live, just because of the concentrations of everybody, but probably only at specialty stores.

In the country, one sees NASCAR-themed merchandise at gas marts, prominently displayed. You can get your Dale Earnhart or Bill Elliott poster here—I put one of those on my son's wall when he was a tot—but you have to look for them.


Posted by: I don't pay | Link to this comment | 11-30-07 11:09 AM
horizontal rule
342

I've read several good-sized works from our GBWW set, when I haven't had other editions available. I'd certainly be willing to do it again. It's not exactly pleasant, but it's perfectly passable.

But it's worth noting that the set wasn't really designed for book-length reading, anyway. It's a reference set, meant to be used almost wholly in connection with the astonishingly useful useful "Synopticon", or whatever it's called. You want Swift's thoughts on love? It points you right to them. Wonderful.


Posted by: Brock Landers | Link to this comment | 11-30-07 11:13 AM
horizontal rule
343

a bling-laden frog that sings Beyonce;

I first read this as "a bin-laden frog". I think that would be much more interesting.


Posted by: Matt F | Link to this comment | 11-30-07 11:14 AM
horizontal rule
344

340: Now, now. I'd expect you to be on board with the idea that we should stop fearing aging and worshipping youth?


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 11-30-07 11:14 AM
horizontal rule
345

344: Indeed I am. Did it sound otherwise?


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 11-30-07 11:16 AM
horizontal rule
346

Who worships youth around here? I thought we mocked the young.


Posted by: Will | Link to this comment | 11-30-07 11:18 AM
horizontal rule
347

345: It sounded like you were saying that we should all pretend that 40 isn't middle-aged, but still young!


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 11-30-07 11:20 AM
horizontal rule
348

347: Oh. No, more that numbers mean nothing.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 11-30-07 11:22 AM
horizontal rule
349

327: A friend of ours gave our kid an obnoxious stuffed mascot from Alma Mater that plays Alma Mater's fight song. We got even by having the kid bring it to a volleyball match between Alma Mater and Hometown School/Wife's Other Alma Mater/Friend's Employer and having him crawl in our friend's lap with it and push the button.

One year I gave my wife a new kitchen faucet for Christmas to replace the drippy one. She still wasn't all that amused even after the kid goaded her into opening it and finding the nice earrings stashed inside.


Posted by: Not Prince Hamlet | Link to this comment | 11-30-07 11:34 AM
horizontal rule
350

Everyone has bad gift stories by the brazillion--for Christmas this year for example my mother gave (yes, already gave) me a set of Elvis Presley collector pez dispensers, and no I'm not a collector of either Pex dispensers or Elvis memorabilia or anything else that would make this a thoughtful gift--I thought we were supposed to be discussing bad presents from significant others. That's much more restricted and much more fun.


Posted by: Brock Landers | Link to this comment | 11-30-07 11:39 AM
horizontal rule
351

I thought we were supposed to be discussing bad presents from significant others.

Or how about "bad presents to significant others"?

I'll own up to that. (1) I completely forgot about Fleur's birthday until I was arriving at the airport on the way to meet her for her birthday dinner. (In my partial defense, I was on heavy doses of Valium at the time). I picked her up a travel guide from the airport bookstore before getting in the taxi, but she wasn't fooled. (2) For Christmas I got her a desk organizer to clean up all the paperwork she leaves scattered in the kitchen. She was not amused. What made it worse is that her mother, completely independently of me, got her the same thing.


Posted by: Knecht Ruprecht | Link to this comment | 11-30-07 12:28 PM
horizontal rule
352

351 is indeed a better topic. My wife got a new vacuum for our last anniversary. It wasn't a surprise, and was what she really asid she wanted, but I still felt like I was doing something very wrong.


Posted by: Brock Landers | Link to this comment | 11-30-07 12:31 PM
horizontal rule
353

Everyone has bad gift stories by the brazillion

What was I thinking, getting her a zillion bras? And they weren't even in her size!


Posted by: Cryptic Ned | Link to this comment | 11-30-07 12:33 PM
horizontal rule
354

And they weren't even in her size!

This is its own category of bad presents from SOs. The cheap acrylic sweater I got from a boyfriend in college would have been a lot better if it hadn't been about twice my size.


Posted by: Blume | Link to this comment | 11-30-07 12:40 PM
horizontal rule
355

354: This is why I have bought my fiancee zero articles of clothing as gifts in four years together. I figure it would be hard to get her to try something on and then still have it be a surprise.


Posted by: Cryptic Ned | Link to this comment | 11-30-07 12:52 PM
horizontal rule
356

You could have her measurements discreetly taken and then bring them to a tailor.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 11-30-07 12:55 PM
horizontal rule
357

My mom has always gotten me clothes I don't like. Finally, frustrated, she decided she'd buy me clothes she thought were ugly. Didn't work.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 11-30-07 12:56 PM
horizontal rule
358

she decided she'd buy me clothes she thought were ugly. Didn't work.

My mom just decided to start giving me money to buy clothes for myself. I find this a satisfactory arrangement.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 11-30-07 12:57 PM
horizontal rule
359

One can also congratulate oneself for doing really well in gift-giving to SOs. To wit: a fish aquarium I once gave an ex, which required coordination with a mutual friend for acquisition, cleaning, populating and so on, so that it was an all-day affair. The ex was absolutely thrilled at the living room glow greeting him that evening. (Go figure.)

Likewise good gifts from SOs -- one of mine (the same one) was amazing at this. A wrought-iron plant stand. A bike he'd rebuilt for me. Enlargements of personal photographs we both very much liked.

So much negativity, so little time.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 11-30-07 12:57 PM
horizontal rule
360

Given some of the crazy measurements they take for more tailored items, that could be really funny. "By the way honey, I was just curious, what is the distance between your breasts?"


Posted by: Blume | Link to this comment | 11-30-07 12:58 PM
horizontal rule
361

And they weren't even in her size!

I face this dilemna because my wife, after the birth of two children, has become "full figured". Buying the XXL nightie might seem insulting, if appropriate. So jewelry it is!


Posted by: Tassled Loafered Leech | Link to this comment | 11-30-07 12:58 PM
horizontal rule
362

The cheap acrylic sweater I got from a boyfriend in college would have been a lot better if it hadn't been about twice my size.

Just speculating here, but could it have been about the size of a sweater than someone might have previously given him?


Posted by: Knecht Ruprecht | Link to this comment | 11-30-07 1:00 PM
horizontal rule
363

"By the way honey, I was just curious, what is the distance between your breasts?"

Easily ascertained as a multiple of the diameter of one's cock, which can then be discreetly measured.


Posted by: Knecht Ruprecht | Link to this comment | 11-30-07 1:02 PM
horizontal rule
364

351: For Christmas I got her a desk organizer to clean up all the paperwork she leaves scattered in the kitchen.

I think that Unfogged should rest easy about being blamed for any problems that might Gof forbid occur within your relationship.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 11-30-07 1:02 PM
horizontal rule
365

363: multiple? Surely you mean fraction.


Posted by: Brock Landers | Link to this comment | 11-30-07 1:07 PM
horizontal rule
366

I think that Unfogged should rest easy about being blamed for any problems that might God forbid occur within your relationship.

The concept of overdetermined causation from tort law is useful here.


Posted by: Knecht Ruprecht | Link to this comment | 11-30-07 1:09 PM
horizontal rule
367

multiple? Surely you mean fraction.

Maybe your wife's tits are that small.


Posted by: Knecht Ruprecht | Link to this comment | 11-30-07 1:10 PM
horizontal rule
368

? Distance between would get larger, the smaller the boobs.


Posted by: Cala | Link to this comment | 11-30-07 1:12 PM
horizontal rule
369

The space between large tits is larger than the space between small tits?


Posted by: Brock landers | Link to this comment | 11-30-07 1:13 PM
horizontal rule
370

"By the way honey, I was just curious, what is the distance between your breasts?"

You don't ask, you just keep a tape measure handy.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 11-30-07 1:13 PM
horizontal rule
371

369 in agreement with 368 to 367.


Posted by: Brock Landers | Link to this comment | 11-30-07 1:14 PM
horizontal rule
372

At the sight of his wife's breasts, KR goes cross eyed.


Posted by: Tassled Loafered Leech | Link to this comment | 11-30-07 1:15 PM
horizontal rule
373

I actually used the Britannica for Ptolemy and also Apollonius (the conic sections). At the time, that was the only edition they were available in.

My sister mainly uses our parents' old books; she's had to buy very few. She might have bought those two, though.

Harvard Classics are where it's at, though.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 11-30-07 1:15 PM
horizontal rule
374

though though though


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 11-30-07 1:15 PM
horizontal rule
375

I'm simply boggling at 365 in light of "the diameter of one's cock." On the one hand, if you're going to brag, don't be tentative about it, sure. On the other hand, Brock, you're expecting us to believe you've reproduced?


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 11-30-07 1:16 PM
horizontal rule
376

At the sight of his wife's breasts, KR goes cross eyed.

Most do, my friends, most do.


Posted by: Knecht Ruprecht | Link to this comment | 11-30-07 1:17 PM
horizontal rule
377

366: Ogged, KR is trying to set you up for a megabucks straw-that-broke-the-camel's-back lawsuit. "But for this website....." And probably Fleur is talking to lawyers too.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 11-30-07 1:17 PM
horizontal rule
378

374: Santa with a lisp?


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 11-30-07 1:17 PM
horizontal rule
379

370, etc. Y'all liberal arts types? Where are we going to measure? At the sternum? And so on.


Posted by: Biohazard | Link to this comment | 11-30-07 1:17 PM
horizontal rule
380

People who don't understand of Ptolemy and Apollonius are barbarians. Didn't Ezra Pound say that?


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 11-30-07 1:19 PM
horizontal rule
381

I don't think I understand 375, but it feels somehow like an insult.


Posted by: Brock Landers | Link to this comment | 11-30-07 1:23 PM
horizontal rule
382

You know, at snotty websites like Awful Plastic Surgery, a wide gap between the breasts is seen as indicative of a boob job. Although I guess that is less about actual measured distance than the breasts always remaining noticeably discrete, as it were, and never mushing together. Good lord, I'm thinking about this.


Posted by: oudemia | Link to this comment | 11-30-07 1:25 PM
horizontal rule
383

So Fleur had a boob job?


Posted by: Brock Landers | Link to this comment | 11-30-07 1:26 PM
horizontal rule
384

380: No, Ezra Pound said this:

Cantico del Sole

The thought of what America would be like
If the Classics had a wide circulation
Troubles my sleep,
The thought of what America,
The thought of what America,The thought of what America would be like
If the Classics had a wide circulation
Troubles my sleep.
Nunc dimittis, now lettest thou thy servant,
Now lettest thou thy servant
Depart in peace.
The thought of what America,
The thought of what America,
The thought of what America would be like
If the Classics had a wide circulation...
Oh well!
It troubles my sleep.


Posted by: oudemia | Link to this comment | 11-30-07 1:28 PM
horizontal rule
385

Huh. Come to think of it, I was misinterpreting 'distance between the breasts' as center to center, or nipple to nipple, distance. If you're talking about the width of the flat spot over the sternum, 365 makes more sense.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 11-30-07 1:28 PM
horizontal rule
386

The girl I thought I'd marry was temporarily living far, far away in Alaska, where apparently the lack of women can make the whole fidelity thing tougher for an attractive young lady. After a devastating couple months of calls & e-mails, we decided to stay together. My birthday rolled around, and she sent me a cheesy Alaska beer mug. Hoo boy was I pissed.


Posted by: Lurky | Link to this comment | 11-30-07 1:29 PM
horizontal rule
387

It's so cold in Alaska.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 11-30-07 1:30 PM
horizontal rule
388

a wide gap between the breasts is seen as indicative of a boob job

I've never understood that. It seems to me that a lot of women's breasts will likely have space between them if they're not wearing smoosh-'em-together undergarments.


Posted by: Blume | Link to this comment | 11-30-07 1:31 PM
horizontal rule
389

Yeah, she easily could have asked one of her boyfriends to spring for a quality gift.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 11-30-07 1:31 PM
horizontal rule
390

385: I think your initial interpretation was correct. That would be the relevant measurement for putting flaired seams in a tailored garment.

And Brock, I don't believe I'm at liberty to talk about Fleur's breasts on unfogged, but I'll take it as defending her honor to say that she comes by her beauty naturally.


Posted by: Knecht Ruprecht | Link to this comment | 11-30-07 1:31 PM
horizontal rule
391

If you're talking about the width of the flat spot over the sternum,

Well, that was in truth what I was thinking, but I admit I don't have any what we're talking about, other than the enormity of my cock.


Posted by: Brock Landers | Link to this comment | 11-30-07 1:32 PM
horizontal rule
392

385: The nipple-to-nipple measurement was what I originally meant.


Posted by: Blume | Link to this comment | 11-30-07 1:32 PM
horizontal rule
393

I mean, I drink my beer straight from the bottle. It was like she didn't even know me.


Posted by: Lurky | Link to this comment | 11-30-07 1:32 PM
horizontal rule
394

I don't believe I'm at liberty to talk about Fleur's breasts on unfogged

WHIPPED!


Posted by: Brock Landers | Link to this comment | 11-30-07 1:33 PM
horizontal rule
395

The large boob gap is a sign of bad plastic surgery precisely in those cases where you have large boobs and a large flat spot over the sternum. Ordinarily, as KR seems to think, this spot is small on heavily boobed women, but when you put some gell packs in small boobs, you get the same size flat space, with big boobs, because the implants sit away from the ribcage.

I'm not really sure how you measure the flat spot, though. Like any hill, the exact point where a boob starts can be vague for smaller slopes.


Posted by: rob helpy-chalk | Link to this comment | 11-30-07 1:34 PM
horizontal rule
396

It seems to me that a lot of women's breasts will likely have space between them if they're not wearing smoosh-'em-together undergarments.

Now I understand. I thought Armsmasher meant the MMPI when he said they would have testing stations at DC Unfogged.


Posted by: will | Link to this comment | 11-30-07 1:34 PM
horizontal rule
397

the enormity of my cock.

One of those rare cases in which the word is used correctly.


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 11-30-07 1:35 PM
horizontal rule
398

WHIPPED!

All right, all right, they're like...it's like feeling two bags of sand!


Posted by: Knecht Ruprecht | Link to this comment | 11-30-07 1:36 PM
horizontal rule
399

397: damn, I didn't know that. It seems such a common word--I can't believe I've always heard it used incorrectly.


Posted by: Brock Landers | Link to this comment | 11-30-07 1:37 PM
horizontal rule
400

when he said they would have testing stations at DC Unfogged.

The measurement instruments are conveniently calibrated in cockwidths.


Posted by: Knecht Ruprecht | Link to this comment | 11-30-07 1:37 PM
horizontal rule
401

400:

european or american?


Posted by: will | Link to this comment | 11-30-07 1:40 PM
horizontal rule
402

389: Exactly.

When things fell even more messily apart later, I was working on the same hall as the mug-giving ex. Awkward. Once I had to take a meeting with the guy she'd been seeing in Alaska, and due to lack of space, we met in the bldg cafateria. She walked in to get a cup of coffee. Aaaawkard. I should have given him the mug.


Posted by: Lurky | Link to this comment | 11-30-07 1:40 PM
horizontal rule
403

395: It occurs to me that we'd have more success interesting undergrads in Sorites paradoxes if we used boobs instead of bald men and heaps of sand.


Posted by: Cala | Link to this comment | 11-30-07 1:40 PM
horizontal rule
404

Also, "distance between the breasts" is a terrible way to describe a nipple-to-nipple measurement. That's "distance between the nipplies". Although I admit I was wondering what sort of garment would require a measure of the distance between the breasts. Distance between the nipples is probably a more useful measure.


Posted by: Brock Landers | Link to this comment | 11-30-07 1:40 PM
horizontal rule
405

404 contains one of those rare typos that make it a far better comment than it otherwise would have been.


Posted by: Brock Landers | Link to this comment | 11-30-07 1:41 PM
horizontal rule
406

401: Maybe it's the smaller american standard that's throwing Brock off.


Posted by: soup biscuit | Link to this comment | 11-30-07 1:44 PM
horizontal rule
407

403: Interestingly, I recently was using weird & funny sex examples to illustrate the difference between moral intuitions and moral knowledge and was actually asked to stop by one of the students, who said she got squicked out by any discussion of homosexuality.

Ordinarily I would have just honored her request, but it was made in such a homophobic fashion that I felt obligated to use it to springboard a discussion of homophobia and classroom tolerance.


Posted by: rob helpy-chalk | Link to this comment | 11-30-07 1:46 PM
horizontal rule
408

handy of her to provide a springboard.


Posted by: soup biscuit | Link to this comment | 11-30-07 1:48 PM
horizontal rule
409

Boing!


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 11-30-07 1:52 PM
horizontal rule
410

I recently was using weird & funny sex examples to illustrate the difference between moral intuitions and moral knowledge and was actually asked to stop by one of the students, who said she got squicked out by any discussion of homosexuality.

Sorities sex would be an interesting topic. How many guys does a man have to blow before he can be called gay?


Posted by: Matt F | Link to this comment | 11-30-07 1:56 PM
horizontal rule
411

409. Boing!

I thought it was "Shwing!"


Posted by: Tassled Loafered Leech | Link to this comment | 11-30-07 2:00 PM
horizontal rule
412

Sorities sex would be an interesting topic. How many guys does a man have to blow before he can be called gay?

How many seconds can a man seriously believe that he could blow more than zero men without being called gay before he can be called gay?


Posted by: Cryptic Ned | Link to this comment | 11-30-07 2:00 PM
horizontal rule
413

411:

Wayne's World : Schwing :: Beavis & Butthead : Boioioioioing


Posted by: Cryptic Ned | Link to this comment | 11-30-07 2:00 PM
horizontal rule
414

410: Sextus Empiricus used a sorities argument to claim that incest was morally acceptable. He began by pointing out that there is nothing wrong with touching your mother's big toe with your little finger.


Posted by: rob helpy-chalk | Link to this comment | 11-30-07 2:01 PM
horizontal rule
415

Seriously though, gay chicken is possibly the best real-world example of the sorites paradox.


Posted by: Cryptic Ned | Link to this comment | 11-30-07 2:02 PM
horizontal rule
416

How many seconds can a man seriously believe that he could blow more than zero men without being called gay before he can be called gay?

Why don't you tell us Ned? Seeing as you've done the hard part, as it were.


Posted by: Tassled Loafered Leech | Link to this comment | 11-30-07 2:03 PM
horizontal rule
417

Probably revealing my ignorance, I assume 414 is a joke?


Posted by: Brock Landers | Link to this comment | 11-30-07 2:04 PM
horizontal rule
418

How many men can do a man's hard part before he can be called gay?


Posted by: Cryptic Ned | Link to this comment | 11-30-07 2:04 PM
horizontal rule
419

He began by pointing out that there is nothing wrong with touching your mother's big toe with your little finger.

Mother: "That's not my toe!"

Son: "That's not my finger, either."


Posted by: Knecht Ruprecht | Link to this comment | 11-30-07 2:04 PM
horizontal rule
420

418. I afraid that too many comments in this thread means I'm gay. How will I tell my wife?


Posted by: Tassled Loafered Leech | Link to this comment | 11-30-07 2:06 PM
horizontal rule
421

417: Sextus was a Pyrrhonian skeptic, so he attempted to relieve people of the burden of believing things by any means possible. Sometimes he used good arguments. Sometimes he used bad ones. They were all the same to him, since he had no beliefs about the quality of arguments. Or the wrongness of incest.


Posted by: rob helpy-chalk | Link to this comment | 11-30-07 2:07 PM
horizontal rule
422

How will I tell my wife?

Best to break the news gently. I suggest a puppet show.


Posted by: Matt F | Link to this comment | 11-30-07 2:07 PM
horizontal rule
423

Sorities sex would be an interesting topic. How many guys does a man have to blow before he can be called gay?

A friend had a story (perhaps apocryphal) about a gay friend of hers, call him A. A had a not-previously-known to be gay acquaintance, B, who attended a party at A's place, and got kind of flirty. And then hung around after the party to help clean up, and kept on with the flirting, while also rambling on about how he was exploring some things, but really didn't consider himself gay, and was feeling sort of tentative about matters, but none the less felt that an expression of affection between two men didn't mean anything necessary about the orientation of one or the other. And so they made out some, and B would at intervals sort of pause, and start talking about how this didn't mean he was gay. But matters continued happily along, until finally they, shall we say, engaged in a mutually satisfying activity to completion. At which point A looked meltingly over at B, and said seductively "Now you're gay."


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 11-30-07 2:09 PM
horizontal rule
424

423. Isn't that the plot of this movie?
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0065488/


Posted by: Tassled Loafered Leech | Link to this comment | 11-30-07 2:14 PM
horizontal rule
425

420: with flowers.


Posted by: soup biscuit | Link to this comment | 11-30-07 2:14 PM
horizontal rule
426

423: Ha! I knew a fellow once who claimed that he, himself, was not gay, but the guy who sucked his cock was.


Posted by: oudemia | Link to this comment | 11-30-07 2:15 PM
horizontal rule
427

I believe 426 is the reigning belief among men in Saudi Arabia.


Posted by: destroyer | Link to this comment | 11-30-07 2:16 PM
horizontal rule
428

424: Could be -- it was told to me as a story about a friend of a friend, and I haven't seen the movie.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 11-30-07 2:16 PM
horizontal rule
429

why do all these homosexuals keep sucking my cock?


Posted by: soup biscuit | Link to this comment | 11-30-07 2:17 PM
horizontal rule
430

a fellow once who claimed that he, himself, was not gay, but the guy who sucked his cock was.

Pretty much the entire Middle East and Latin America think that.


Posted by: Knecht Ruprecht | Link to this comment | 11-30-07 2:17 PM
horizontal rule
431

whups, wrong link.


Posted by: soup biscuit | Link to this comment | 11-30-07 2:18 PM
horizontal rule
432

430: I thought that mostly drew the line at being bottoms.


Posted by: soup biscuit | Link to this comment | 11-30-07 2:18 PM
horizontal rule
433

The whole Middle East and Latin America think oudemia's friend's friend is gay? He must really get around.


Posted by: mrh | Link to this comment | 11-30-07 2:20 PM
horizontal rule
434

433: Or just very public.


Posted by: soup biscuit | Link to this comment | 11-30-07 2:23 PM
horizontal rule
435

430: And sort of the whole ancient Mediterranean.


Posted by: oudemia | Link to this comment | 11-30-07 2:23 PM
horizontal rule
436

Also, appearing in gay porn videos doesn't necessarily make you gay:

The past Merloni referred to is Tadano's having appeared in a gay pornographic film when he was a student at Tokyo's Rikkyo University some three years ago.

In a news conference at Jacobs Field in Cleveland on Jan. 27 -- the last time, according to club officials, that he intended to speak about the subject for the foreseeable future -- Tadano read a statement in English. ''All of us have made mistakes in our lives,'' he said. ''Hopefully, you learn from them and move on.''

He added: ''I did participate in a video and I regret it very much. It was a one-time incident that showed bad judgment and will never be repeated. I was young, playing baseball and going to college, and my teammates and I needed the money....He also said, through an interpreter: ''I'm not gay. I'd like to clear that fact up right now.''


Posted by: Katherine | Link to this comment | 11-30-07 2:24 PM
horizontal rule
437

(not that it's impossible for straight guys to get paid to have gay sex on film, but I still think "hey, my team needed the money, it doesn't make me GAY" has still got to be the best "I'm not gay" press conference excuse of all time.)


Posted by: Katherine | Link to this comment | 11-30-07 2:26 PM
horizontal rule
438

436: But it's ok, because he's a pitcher?


Posted by: oudemia | Link to this comment | 11-30-07 2:27 PM
horizontal rule
439

Also, appearing in gay porn videos doesn't necessarily make you gay

That could be true. "Gay for pay" is a pretty standard category.


Posted by: Knecht Ruprecht | Link to this comment | 11-30-07 2:27 PM
horizontal rule
440

439: more often applied to prostitues, but true enough.

Works the other way 'round, too.


Posted by: soup biscuit | Link to this comment | 11-30-07 2:29 PM
horizontal rule
441

"Gay for pay" is a pretty standard category.

At least that's what I tell myself as I'm pocketing the money from the guys at the truck stop on the Interstate.


Posted by: Knecht Ruprecht | Link to this comment | 11-30-07 2:30 PM
horizontal rule
442

436: That article makes the life of a foreign national playing sports in America sound pretty shitty:

Tadano said at the news conference that he would not be bothered by remarks from opposing players or hecklers.
''I don't understand English,'' he said, ''so it really doesn't matter.''

Posted by: destroyer | Link to this comment | 11-30-07 2:30 PM
horizontal rule
443

Ah, for the good old days, when female hysteria, childhood masturbation, and male homosexuality were just fun activities rather than all-consuming identities.


Posted by: Wrongshore | Link to this comment | 11-30-07 2:32 PM
horizontal rule
444

My now-Ex gave few gifts, claimed holidays were too commercialized, and said that gifts given for no reason were the only ones worth giving or receiving. And he rarely gave anything for no reason, either.

One day he called to say he'd gotten me a something. For no reason. He made a big deal out of how much I'd like it. This got me very excited, as I received so few gifts from him, that this must be something special--he'd called to mention it! it was for no reason! I thought about it the rest of the day and couldn't wait to get home from work.

And do you know what it was? It was a cantalope. An overripe, mushy cantalope.

He said he knew I liked fruit. I said I must have, since I'd gotten involved with him.


Posted by: wrenae | Link to this comment | 11-30-07 2:37 PM
horizontal rule
445

at least you have that beautiful comeback to remember, wrenae. That's a gift of sorts.


Posted by: soup biscuit | Link to this comment | 11-30-07 2:39 PM
horizontal rule
446

215: I am feeling very left out over here, by the way.

Of course I have no idea if what you wanted redacted was redacted. But I infer from the fact that you had to remind LB about the email that it wasn't done immediately. The situation is a bit like the one described here: had you emailed me, it would have been done in a timely manner.

I think that I left you out B-Wo, becasue I find your e-mail address/ handle confusing. Is it Benw-lfs-natunfoggeddotcom or Ben w-lfs-nat or benw-lfs-nat?

I don't know how great the distance between my boobs on my sternum is. Are there data on what the average range is? I think that it might be hard for me to measure, since mine are big enough that the slope falls backward initially instead of curving upward.


Posted by: Bostoniangirl | Link to this comment | 11-30-07 2:41 PM
horizontal rule
447

444: Was he very hateful? Or just very clueless? Both?


Posted by: oudemia | Link to this comment | 11-30-07 2:41 PM
horizontal rule
448

Imaginary internet friends are doing a below-par job of supporting my friday afternoon procrastination this week. Just saying.


Posted by: soup biscuit | Link to this comment | 11-30-07 2:42 PM
horizontal rule
449

I don't know how great the distance between my boobs on my sternum is.

I could measure that for you at the DC meetup.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 11-30-07 2:42 PM
horizontal rule
450

I think that it might be hard for me to measure, since mine are big enough that the slope falls backward initially instead of curving upward.

I'm having trouble visualizing what you mean there. Could you post pictures?


Posted by: | Link to this comment | 11-30-07 2:42 PM
horizontal rule
451

448: I agree. I had to finish up work that was only one hour overdue because hitting refresh had accomplished nothing more than six times in a row.


Posted by: Wrongshore | Link to this comment | 11-30-07 2:43 PM
horizontal rule
452

You all can get a rough idea by looking at teh (fully clothed) pictures of me in the Unfogged flickr pool.


Posted by: Bostoniangirl | Link to this comment | 11-30-07 2:44 PM
horizontal rule
453

447: In general, both. On this occassion, he was genuinely excited to give me the cantalope, and surprised that I wasn't more pleased with it.


Posted by: wrenae | Link to this comment | 11-30-07 2:45 PM
horizontal rule
454

452: The couple of times I've asked about that, I have had no response. Clearly it's an in joke, and doesn't really exist.


Posted by: soup biscuit | Link to this comment | 11-30-07 2:46 PM
horizontal rule
455

452: I hear you. It's sort of the auto-cleavage problem.


Posted by: Cala | Link to this comment | 11-30-07 2:47 PM
horizontal rule
456

356
"You could have her measurements discreetly taken and then bring them to a tailor.":

w-lfs-n, how would you "discreetly" measure your SO?! While she's asleep? And measure her bust, waist, hips, arm length, inseam, etc. without waking her up?

Unless she has them on file somewhere, it's hard to go by measurements (even if that's the most accurate). Avoid clothing, unless she shops at one store and fits one size consistently. Even then, that's a difficulty, because few women are proportionate top-to-bottom. I myself am 2-4 on the bottom, but 4-6 on top, so I always end up buying larger dresses and have them taken in so that they fit the bust. I think it's easier to shop if you're bottom heavy, but there is disagreement on this.


Posted by: Belle Lettre | Link to this comment | 11-30-07 2:47 PM
horizontal rule
457

452,455: Brock will lend you his cock to help with measuring.


Posted by: soup biscuit | Link to this comment | 11-30-07 2:48 PM
horizontal rule
458

Gift certificate at tailor.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 11-30-07 2:49 PM
horizontal rule
459

As another testament to either hatefull-ness, clueless-ness, or both: he left me for another woman, but I was the one who had to move out of our house. In the interim, as I searched manically for a new home, he peppered me with anecdotes about his new girlfriend, their dates (he was spending weekends with her openly since I found out) and compatability (she was so much more like him than I was), and tried to elicit advice from me on their relationship. He seemed genuinely puzzled that I didn't want to talk about it and would burst into tears at the mention of her name. "I'm just so used to talking to you about everything," he said.


Posted by: wrenae | Link to this comment | 11-30-07 2:49 PM
horizontal rule
460

w-lfs-n, how would you "discreetly" measure your SO?!

with a big one of these ?


Posted by: soup biscuit | Link to this comment | 11-30-07 2:50 PM
horizontal rule
461

Imaginary internet friends are doing a below-par job of supporting my friday afternoon procrastination this week. Just saying.

Okay, here's my daughters' latest joke:

S: Knock knock.
M: Who's there?
S: Diaper.
M: Who diaper?
S: You have to say "Diaper who?"
M: Diaper who?
S: Diaper went in the bath, but there was no bath tub!

Thanks, ladies and gentlemen, they'll be here all week.


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 11-30-07 2:50 PM
horizontal rule
462

457: Whoa there... it's Knecht's cock that's available for loan. Mine's clearly too thick to make a useful measure.


Posted by: Brock Landers | Link to this comment | 11-30-07 2:51 PM
horizontal rule
463

459: Good gravy! That's really shocking. I mean, just one of those things would be terrible (I know a woman whose heart was fully broken a second time, because the guy who left her called her up and asked the name of her perfume because he wanted to buy it for his new special lady). Definitely thoughtless and hateful!


Posted by: oudemia | Link to this comment | 11-30-07 2:52 PM
horizontal rule
464

462: Didn't you claim useful fractions? I don't really want to know how you slice it, whatever worked for you.


Posted by: soup biscuit | Link to this comment | 11-30-07 2:52 PM
horizontal rule
465

evel knievel dead.
the end of an era.
now there was a great american.


Posted by: kid bitzer | Link to this comment | 11-30-07 2:52 PM
horizontal rule
466

459: Ouch. I would have a lot of trouble not doing nasty vindictive things in that sort of situation.


Posted by: soup biscuit | Link to this comment | 11-30-07 2:53 PM
horizontal rule
467

S: Knock knock.
M: Who's there?
S: Diaper.
M: Who diaper?
S: You have to say "Diaper who?"

Seriously, Jesus, your daughter has to teach you how knock-knock jokes work?


Posted by: Brock Lanedrs | Link to this comment | 11-30-07 2:54 PM
horizontal rule
468

Speaking of hookers:

A Chilean prostitute has caused a bit of a stir by selling 27 hours of rumpy-pumpy in aid of tomorrow's annual TV Teletón campaign for the country's disabled kids.

Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 11-30-07 2:54 PM
horizontal rule
469

454: You have to email one of the active main bloggers on this site to ask to be invited to the flickr pool.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 11-30-07 2:55 PM
horizontal rule
470

459: Oh god. I had a similar situation in my undergraduate days. Weirdly, I later got back together with the guy in question. Good at dating, that was me!


Posted by: redfoxtailshrub | Link to this comment | 11-30-07 2:57 PM
horizontal rule
471

465 is exactly right.


Posted by: soup biscuit | Link to this comment | 11-30-07 2:57 PM
horizontal rule
472

Ogged or Armsmasher, actually, I think. I don't think anyone else can let people into the Flickr pool.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 11-30-07 2:58 PM
horizontal rule
473

(After that, I did break up with the guy for good -- Snarkout is not he!)


Posted by: redfoxtailshrub | Link to this comment | 11-30-07 2:58 PM
horizontal rule
474

469: Like they'd let me in.



Posted by: soup biscuit | Link to this comment | 11-30-07 2:58 PM
horizontal rule
475

474: It's probably because you're black, soup biscuit.


Posted by: DS | Link to this comment | 11-30-07 3:00 PM
horizontal rule
476

475: At least, when I'm drunk. So how the hell did apo' get in, I want to know. Turncoat.


Posted by: soup biscuit | Link to this comment | 11-30-07 3:04 PM
horizontal rule
477

For the sake of precision, to be sure of whether particular acts or general characterizations were intended, I went to look up rumpy-pumpy. Only I typed rumpy-rumpy by mistake, and got a page mostly about classifying Manx cats.


Posted by: I don't pay | Link to this comment | 11-30-07 3:05 PM
horizontal rule
478

473: I went to a teeny, tiny college where one had to get over the guy who just dumped you dating your friend or roommate. It could get a little unpleasant if anyone decided to twist knives. An ex-gf of my sophomore-year bf intentionally walked in on us to cry about "what he was doing to her" (bringing a girl -- me! -- to the dorm they both lived in) and a good friend of mine (who lived in the room next door) who started dating a boyfriend of mine right after he dumped me used to come by to tell me what she and all the people I was hanging out with 2 days earlier would be doing that night.
Ah, college!


Posted by: oudemia | Link to this comment | 11-30-07 3:07 PM
horizontal rule
479

I claim as a matter of truth that cannot be questioned that appearing in a gay porn video does not, in fact, make you gay, unless perhaps you appear for free.


Posted by: Walt Someguy | Link to this comment | 11-30-07 3:07 PM
horizontal rule
480

479: yeah, but you would, wouldn't you?


Posted by: soup biscuit | Link to this comment | 11-30-07 3:09 PM
horizontal rule
481

And I gave all the money to my church afterwards to fund missionary work in the Sudan, so really no one can question my motives.


Posted by: Walt Someguy | Link to this comment | 11-30-07 3:11 PM
horizontal rule
482

481: Depends. Did the missionaries have alter boys?


Posted by: soup biscuit | Link to this comment | 11-30-07 3:12 PM
horizontal rule
483

alter boys s/b "M2F"


Posted by: Wrongshore | Link to this comment | 11-30-07 3:13 PM
horizontal rule
484

Alter boys! Kinky!


Posted by: oudemia | Link to this comment | 11-30-07 3:14 PM
horizontal rule