Re: Veldt, Don't Fail Me Now

1

Were you saying something, Ogged?


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 12- 4-07 8:40 PM
horizontal rule
2

To be fair, not everyone is boring during an explanation. Lots of people explain things with a condescending tone and exaggerated hand movements that merely makes me want to punch them in the face.


Posted by: gswift | Link to this comment | 12- 4-07 8:42 PM
horizontal rule
3

The problem is that a fraction of one's listeners are sometimes stupid, and they ruin it for everyone by demanding slow, hand-gestury, repetitive crap.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 12- 4-07 8:44 PM
horizontal rule
4

That's it, blame the victims.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 12- 4-07 8:44 PM
horizontal rule
5

If I can explain 1 to everybody briefly I think it'll make the whole rest of the thread a lot more straightforward and comprehensible, especially if, like me, you had initially had some doubts about whether you would really be able to grasp the mechanics of this thread given that comment's somewhat terse and incomprehensible nature. On the veldt, you see, there was a great deal of work to do, whether child rearing, mammoth hunts, or armchair (technically termite mound) sociology. It was therefore very much in the interest of early hunter/gatherer people to express to the intellectually weak members of the tribe that explaining things that everybody should know already was fucking boring. As our tone betrays our mood in other spheres, of course, it betrayed us in this one, and those tribe members able to thrive in this milieu were able to successfully communicate utter boredom at the prospect of explaining something, listening to something be explained, cavalierly dismissing the plaintive request of an explainee to have it explained why explaining, while explanatory, is so dull. Thus, the cycle of life continues.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 12- 4-07 8:46 PM
horizontal rule
6

I write all my blog entries with that tone in mind.


Posted by: Timothy Burke | Link to this comment | 12- 4-07 8:46 PM
horizontal rule
7

You could ask PK or Newt to explain something and see if they use the tone you find offputting.


Posted by: NickS | Link to this comment | 12- 4-07 8:55 PM
horizontal rule
8

Slow is slow.


Posted by: Cryptic Ned | Link to this comment | 12- 4-07 8:55 PM
horizontal rule
9

The sufficiently boring cavemen would put their listeners to sleep, then make babies with their wives and steal their food.

Seriously though, people aren't usually explaining things to get across information. It's all about the signalling, intelligence or "seriousness" or et cetera.


Posted by: dr. zeuss | Link to this comment | 12- 4-07 9:02 PM
horizontal rule
10

It sounds like Ogged's latest date did not go so well.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 12- 4-07 9:06 PM
horizontal rule
11

You what doesn't make sense to me?

"You what doesn't make sense to me?" .......

Questions with self-referential Cretan liar paradox answers for $200, Alex.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 12- 4-07 9:10 PM
horizontal rule
12

You know what doesn't make sense to me? Xlaport dbasfa lkicv gbfv.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 12- 4-07 9:11 PM
horizontal rule
13

Ben, you dolt, it's an anagram of 'TV flags fox black drab VIP.' Glad I could clear that up for you.


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 12- 4-07 9:24 PM
horizontal rule
14

This post closely approximates what I hear when I'm drinking ... while being deaf ... and misreading the lips of other people drinking ... but I applaud ogged for the accuracy of his portrayal of the lives of the deaf.

HE STANDS FOR US!

HE STANDS FOR US!

(Right? You're not just being willfully inscrutable, are you?)


Posted by: SEK | Link to this comment | 12- 4-07 9:27 PM
horizontal rule
15

You know what doesn't make sense to me? Easily disprovable generalizations.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 12- 4-07 9:27 PM
horizontal rule
16

Unless they're my own, of course.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 12- 4-07 9:28 PM
horizontal rule
17

14: eh if you heard more you'd realize it's more like the cocktail party solution.

15 contradicts itself remarkably well.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 12- 4-07 9:28 PM
horizontal rule
18

Darn.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 12- 4-07 9:29 PM
horizontal rule
19

Is ogged talking about the sort of John Madden over-explanation tone? That's kind of annoying.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 12- 4-07 9:30 PM
horizontal rule
20

19: but imagine John Madden making ribald pillow talk!


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 12- 4-07 9:33 PM
horizontal rule
21

17: Eh? What's that you said? I'm too busy fooling fools into thinking I hear their shit to pay attention to what they're saying. West Coast, baby.

19: If he was going for a Madden impersonation, well, the post's damn genius.


Posted by: SEK | Link to this comment | 12- 4-07 9:34 PM
horizontal rule
22

I'm reading the post in a Dick Vitale voice and I have to say, it changes the tenor of the post entirely.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 12- 4-07 9:39 PM
horizontal rule
23

I highly recommend the Andy Rooney voice, too.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 12- 4-07 9:40 PM
horizontal rule
24

Also, Jesse Jackson.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 12- 4-07 9:42 PM
horizontal rule
25

Oh, and George W. Bush if you switch "intonations" to "talkin's".


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 12- 4-07 9:45 PM
horizontal rule
26

I find that it helps to roll your eyes first, as if to say, "I can't fucking believe I have to explain this." It helps to capture the listener's attention.


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 12- 4-07 9:45 PM
horizontal rule
27

22-25: why doesn't my computer have those? All it has is this singsong crap.


Posted by: Nathan Williams | Link to this comment | 12- 4-07 9:46 PM
horizontal rule
28

And if not, they leave and slam the door and you don't have to bother.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 12- 4-07 9:46 PM
horizontal rule
29

Actully, leaving "intonations" for Bush is better. It's like it was his Word-A-Day Calendar word for today and, dadblurnit, he's a gunna use it.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 12- 4-07 9:49 PM
horizontal rule
30

Yes, you have to pause and give a little triumphant grin after you say the word.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 12- 4-07 9:57 PM
horizontal rule
31

29, 30: Now watch this drive.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 12- 4-07 10:43 PM
horizontal rule
32


That the intonations humans seem to adopt universally when they're explaining things are precisely those intonations that seem to bore listeners out of their minds.

Änd yet Crooked Timber remains inexplicably popular.


Posted by: Martin Wisse | Link to this comment | 12- 4-07 11:55 PM
horizontal rule
33

i'd have to say the people who don't get shit are much more boring than the explanations.


Posted by: yoyo | Link to this comment | 12- 5-07 12:20 AM
horizontal rule
34

and the boringness is much less about 'explaining' and much more about being 'serious'


Posted by: yoyo | Link to this comment | 12- 5-07 12:21 AM
horizontal rule
35

Oh, wow, we have spam. Personally, I'm honored.


Posted by: foolishmortal | Link to this comment | 12- 5-07 12:42 AM
horizontal rule
36

Recall the reaction many folks had to Al Gore's performance in the first debate in 2000; god bless him, he just couldn't avoid seeming a pedant.

There is a saying in politics, "If you're explaining, you're losing."


Posted by: Knecht Ruprecht | Link to this comment | 12- 5-07 5:07 AM
horizontal rule
37

36: You may not personally emit "low, mordant chuckles", but it is worth a stroll through Daily Howler to understand the extent to which the press manufactured that reaction.

Jeff Greenfield for instance:


Yes, the instant polls showed a narrow Gore victory. But it was the kind of victory the villainous wrestler scores with a questionable chokehold. A lot of voters were saying, "Yeah, he won--but I don't like that guy."

Statement based on no discernable input or data from "a lot of voters".


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 12- 5-07 6:13 AM
horizontal rule
38

5 makes sense to me. Especially the part about termite mound sociology.


Posted by: Invisible Adjunct | Link to this comment | 12- 5-07 6:49 AM
horizontal rule
39

this is the lecturer's dilemma.
i tell my student's that my teaching abilities were honed by having toddlers: i learned how to put people to sleep with my voice.


Posted by: kid bitzer | Link to this comment | 12- 5-07 7:25 AM
horizontal rule
40

It's like it was his Word-A-Day Calendar word for today and, dadblurnit, he's a gunna use it

Implies a self-improving, not self-satisfied impulse which seems false to me.


Posted by: I don't pay | Link to this comment | 12- 5-07 7:31 AM
horizontal rule
41

Naw - word-a-day calendars, over the age of -say- 10, are self-satisfaction masquerading as self-improvement.


Posted by: mike d | Link to this comment | 12- 5-07 7:46 AM
horizontal rule
42

Ogged's observation is absolutely correct. To remedy this, our schools must teach students to always talk like Billy Mays when explaining things.


Posted by: My Alter Ego | Link to this comment | 12- 5-07 8:10 AM
horizontal rule
43

I figured W would have to come up here. My favorite explanation of his (perhaps) most infuriating speech technique - very forcefully explaining the obvious in simplistic terms - is that he's simply echoing how the topic was explained to him.

"You see, it's a dessert fork. You use it to eat dessert with. Maybe some in the Democrat Congress don't understand that, but I do, and I think the American people do."


Posted by: JRoth | Link to this comment | 12- 5-07 9:22 AM
horizontal rule
44

Two words: Ben Stein.


Posted by: DominEditrix | Link to this comment | 12- 6-07 8:16 AM
horizontal rule