Re: Aural Distraction

1
Wouldn't it be nice
if Ph.Ds
were stroking me
with hypotheses

Posted by: destroyer | Link to this comment | 12- 8-07 1:12 PM
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That would be nice.

I assume it won't be long before someone forms a band that does rap and hip hop songs in indie-rock style and calls it The Sasha Frere-Jones Experience.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 12- 8-07 1:13 PM
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I was able to figure out how to modify the linked URLs so they work, but they're supposed to start with http://, not just www.


Posted by: Cryptic Ned | Link to this comment | 12- 8-07 1:22 PM
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4

Oh, I do love Rachid Taha.


Posted by: oudemia | Link to this comment | 12- 8-07 1:24 PM
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5

The Dylan link is broken. Good song, though.


Posted by: Matt F | Link to this comment | 12- 8-07 1:25 PM
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Or maybe it's just my browser. They all have the "www.unfogged.com" part of the url doubled up in the link.


Posted by: Matt F | Link to this comment | 12- 8-07 1:27 PM
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7

Hungry mon is an angry mon


Posted by: Cryptic Ned | Link to this comment | 12- 8-07 1:28 PM
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8

Crap, sorry, links should work now.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 12- 8-07 1:29 PM
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9

||
Right, I'm turning the computer off now (soon ... ) and finishing the last bit of packing. Flying to YYZ tomorrow - will be around at some point during the week, but don't know when.

We (i.e. me, C + 4 kids) will be at Bryant Park rink on Sunday 16th (time tba I guess!) and would love to see any of you.


Posted by: asilon | Link to this comment | 12- 8-07 1:56 PM
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Yay Asilon! Look forward to seeing you in DC. Don't forget you can bring that pesty daughter of yours and hand her over to me if you want.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 12- 8-07 2:25 PM
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11

Has there been any more discussion about Armsmasher's art tour?


Posted by: Will | Link to this comment | 12- 8-07 2:28 PM
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Did asilon actually preface her comment with a "pause button" symbol, and follow it with a "play button" symbol?

what a cool way to interrupt a thread while indicating that it is not an attempt at a hijack.


Posted by: Cryptic Ned | Link to this comment | 12- 8-07 2:30 PM
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Cryptic Ned is perspicacious.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 12- 8-07 2:32 PM
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14

asilon is a cool woman.


Posted by: Will | Link to this comment | 12- 8-07 2:34 PM
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15

That's what you call "silky"?


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 12- 8-07 2:54 PM
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16

silky


Posted by: hijk | Link to this comment | 12- 8-07 3:02 PM
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17

Oh heck yeah.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 12- 8-07 3:07 PM
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18

The video in 16 makes me really want to go to Mongolia.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 12- 8-07 3:12 PM
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17
chinese, hm. no


Posted by: | Link to this comment | 12- 8-07 3:22 PM
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20

That's what you call "silky"?

This question would seem to have been answered by the post itself, Ben.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 12- 8-07 4:21 PM
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21

The question was meant to provide you with an opportunity to distance yourself from the post.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 12- 8-07 5:13 PM
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9: I'm up for it -- I'll email you to figure out how best to coordinate. My two are in swimming lessons on Sundays, so we wouldn't be able to get to the rink until afternoon, maybe 12:30.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 12- 8-07 5:17 PM
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How could I distance myself from myself, young Ben?


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 12- 8-07 5:19 PM
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24

We cannot know his legendary head
with eyes like ripening fruit. And yet his torso
is still suffused with brilliance from inside,
like a lamp, in which his gaze, now turned to low,

gleams in all its power. Otherwise
the curved breast could not dazzle you so, nor could
a smile run through the placid hips and thighs
to that dark center where procreation flared.

Otherwise this stone would seem defaced
beneath the translucent cascade of the shoulders
and would not glisten like a wild beast's fur:

would not, from all the borders of itself,
burst like a star: for here there is no place
that does not see you. You must change your life.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 12- 8-07 5:20 PM
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25

I'm not so sure I like that translation.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 12- 8-07 5:26 PM
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26

to that dark center where procreation flared

Funny way to say "The Mineshaft".


Posted by: Beefo Meaty | Link to this comment | 12- 8-07 7:08 PM
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27

Oh, so, here's where I should discuss the unrealistic presentation of the iliac crest in Greek sculpture? Mmm . . . iliac crest.


Posted by: oudemia | Link to this comment | 12- 8-07 7:14 PM
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27: unrealistic how? Like, too angular? I don't buy it.


Posted by: Beefo Meaty | Link to this comment | 12- 8-07 7:19 PM
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29

"im leisen Drehen / der Lenden könnte nicht ein Lächeln gehen / zu jener Mitte, die die Zeugung trug."

Trug -> flared? jener -> that dark? liesen Drehen der Lenden -> placid hips and thighs?


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 12- 8-07 7:21 PM
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30

Knock yourself out, oudemia.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 12- 8-07 7:22 PM
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31

what would be your translation?
just curious, don't know german


Posted by: read | Link to this comment | 12- 8-07 7:24 PM
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32

I wouldn't be so bold as to try.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 12- 8-07 7:25 PM
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33

27: not unrealistic.


Posted by: Beefo Meaty | Link to this comment | 12- 8-07 7:25 PM
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34

This is a plot by oudemia. I for one am not pulling down my pants to check. Plus I don't have any convenient Greek sculpture to compare with.


Posted by: md 20/400 | Link to this comment | 12- 8-07 7:27 PM
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35

Mrowr. No. But on Greek sculpture, the iliac crest continues around to the back. This is not the case in human physiognomy. In fact, there has been a certain amount of scholarship about the attention to detail, nay, invention of detail, on the backs of men in Greek art.


Posted by: oudemia | Link to this comment | 12- 8-07 7:28 PM
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36

You can all send in photos to iliaccrest@unfogged.com. They'll be anonymized and forwarded to oudemia.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 12- 8-07 7:29 PM
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37

Small penises too.


Posted by: md 20/400 | Link to this comment | 12- 8-07 7:29 PM
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38

37: rather.


Posted by: Beefo Meaty | Link to this comment | 12- 8-07 7:31 PM
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39

That's the Mitchell translation, isn't it?

That's a particularly hard poem to translate, starting with that impossible word Augenäpfel.

Bill Gass has some really interesting Rilke translations. They're not at all lush like the Mitchell ones, but he pays close attention to form.


Posted by: Blume | Link to this comment | 12- 8-07 7:32 PM
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40

That's the Mitchell translation, isn't it?

That's a particularly hard poem to translate, starting with that impossible word Augenäpfel.

Bill Gass has some really interesting Rilke translations. They're not at all lush like the Mitchell ones, but he pays close attention to form.


Posted by: Blume | Link to this comment | 12- 8-07 7:32 PM
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41

37: Yes! Large penises belong to comic figures and slaves.

Also -- the doryphoros=Andy Pettitte.


Posted by: oudemia | Link to this comment | 12- 8-07 7:33 PM
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42

Small penises will also be anonymized and forwarded to oudemia?


Posted by: redfoxtailshrub | Link to this comment | 12- 8-07 7:33 PM
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43

That's the Mitchell translation, isn't it?

I have no idea. It was the first one I found on google, I'm ashamed to confess. But! My bookcase confirms that it's Mitchell, yes.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 12- 8-07 7:34 PM
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44

42: Please no!


Posted by: oudemia | Link to this comment | 12- 8-07 7:34 PM
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45

OK, here's a picture of two Roman copies of Greek sculpture. I think I see what you mean in the guy on the left.


Posted by: md 20/400 | Link to this comment | 12- 8-07 7:34 PM
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46

"Aggh, a pile of anonymous penes!"


Posted by: redfoxtailshrub | Link to this comment | 12- 8-07 7:35 PM
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47

penii


Posted by: | Link to this comment | 12- 8-07 7:36 PM
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48

Small penises will be pseudonymized.

"Aggh, a pile of pseudonymous pusillanimous penes!"


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 12- 8-07 7:36 PM
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49

45: Yes! Exactly right! That is the Discobolus, and as you can see, his iliac crest continues around to his back. Humans don't do that.


Posted by: oudemia | Link to this comment | 12- 8-07 7:37 PM
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50

NO! 46 is right! It's 3d declension.


Posted by: oudemia | Link to this comment | 12- 8-07 7:37 PM
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51

I dunno, Brett (NSFW) seems to argue that it's possible.


Posted by: Beefo Meaty | Link to this comment | 12- 8-07 7:37 PM
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52

Pfaugh.


Posted by: redfoxtailshrub | Link to this comment | 12- 8-07 7:39 PM
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53

Finally vacation snapshots come in handy. Though I don't have any to hand of penis in hand. Sorry.


Posted by: md 20/400 | Link to this comment | 12- 8-07 7:39 PM
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54

Humans don't do that.

But consider Oscar Wilde:


Where, if not from the Impressionists, do we get those wonderful brown fogs that come creeping down our streets, blurring the gas-lamps and changing the houses into monstrous shadows? To whom, if not to them and their master, do we owe the lovely silver mists that brood over our river, and turn to faint forms of fading grace curved bridge and swaying barge? The extraordinary change that has taken place in the climate of London during the last ten years is entirely due to a particular school of Art. You smile. Consider the matter from a scientific or a metaphysical point of view, and you will find that I am right.


Maybe back then, Greek anatomy did do that.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 12- 8-07 7:40 PM
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55

The "penii" spelling makes me really annoyed. First of all, it's "penis", not "penus". And second of all, even if it was "penus", and it followed the pattern like "radius" and "focus", the plural would be "peni", not "penii". It's just a classic example of trying to be funny while not understanding the basic facts.


Posted by: Auto-banned. | Link to this comment | 12- 8-07 7:40 PM
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56

Back on the veldt, the Greeks had small penises. This gave had certain evolutionary dis/advantages.


Posted by: md 20/400 | Link to this comment | 12- 8-07 7:41 PM
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57

55: you're being a dick.


Posted by: Beefo Meaty | Link to this comment | 12- 8-07 7:42 PM
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58

55
whatever


Posted by: | Link to this comment | 12- 8-07 7:43 PM
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59

If it were "penus" it could be fourth declension, too. No one ever thinks of the fourth declension.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 12- 8-07 7:43 PM
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60

OK. Look here here
That's the doryphoros. And you can see the full wrap effect of his iliac crest. People can't do that.


Posted by: oudemia | Link to this comment | 12- 8-07 7:43 PM
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61

Some dickii.


Posted by: redfoxtailshrub | Link to this comment | 12- 8-07 7:43 PM
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62

Jason Adonis (also NSFW) again seems to argue with conventional scholarship.


Posted by: Beefo Meaty | Link to this comment | 12- 8-07 7:44 PM
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63

And you can see the full wrap effect of his iliac crest. People can't do that

Action figures, on the other hand...

I like the way it makes his torso look completely detachable.


Posted by: redfoxtailshrub | Link to this comment | 12- 8-07 7:44 PM
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64

54: Actually, Ben, that's sort of a lovely thought.


Posted by: oudemia | Link to this comment | 12- 8-07 7:44 PM
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65

"Pardon me, my penis is not pusillanimous, it is parsimonious."


Posted by: redfoxtailshrub | Link to this comment | 12- 8-07 7:45 PM
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66

62
i'm not opening


Posted by: | Link to this comment | 12- 8-07 7:46 PM
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67

62: Yikes, Jason! But no, he doesn't. Click on the link: but it didn't quite work; you need to click "next" a couple of times in order to get the "back" shot.


Posted by: oudemia | Link to this comment | 12- 8-07 7:47 PM
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68

This is lovely: an adoration of the iliac crest to the point of exaggerating it. I've never heard of such societal or artistic obsessions, really.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 12- 8-07 7:47 PM
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69

60: I am unconvinced. Aside from some underdeveloped back muscles on the part of the greek, the differences between 62 and this strike me as certainly explainable via natural variation.


Posted by: Beefo Meaty | Link to this comment | 12- 8-07 7:48 PM
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70

"Pardon me, my penis is not pusillanimous, it is parsimonious."

Ockham W. Having a short penis as a method for preventing the needless multiplication of entities. JAMA. 1995;210:395–400.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 12- 8-07 7:48 PM
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71

Hmm. The doryphoros doesn't look like Andy Pettitte to me, but maybe you weren't thinking of the face.


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 12- 8-07 7:49 PM
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72

That one form Naples, the front view it looked less like muscle definition and more like odd love handles.


Posted by: md 20/400 | Link to this comment | 12- 8-07 7:49 PM
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73

68: To utterly coarsen the scholarship, I think the idea is that they wanted something to look at from behind.


Posted by: oudemia | Link to this comment | 12- 8-07 7:50 PM
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74

70 should probably have been published in an epidemiological journal, actually.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 12- 8-07 7:50 PM
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75

70. Ah the evo-psych advantage was logical.


Posted by: md 20/400 | Link to this comment | 12- 8-07 7:50 PM
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76

70: mirrors and big wangs are abominable, for the multiply the numbers of man.


Posted by: Beefo Meaty | Link to this comment | 12- 8-07 7:51 PM
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77

I love it when you talk Bioy Casares to me, Sifu.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 12- 8-07 7:52 PM
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78

I have a story to tell about the great big small greek penis!! This statue I don't remember name of which one but it was marble I think (This was probably at least 1 5 years ago give me a braeak).


Posted by: Brock Landers | Link to this comment | 12- 8-07 7:58 PM
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79

hwat?


Posted by: ab c | Link to this comment | 12- 8-07 7:59 PM
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80

The Brock-yoyo mindmeld is nearly complete!


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 12- 8-07 8:00 PM
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81

Eh, looks more like a typo than a misspelling.


Posted by: Blume | Link to this comment | 12- 8-07 8:00 PM
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82

no not the liiac crest


Posted by: Brock Landers | Link to this comment | 12- 8-07 8:01 PM
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83

It's more the general air of breathless incoherence.


Posted by: Beefo Meaty | Link to this comment | 12- 8-07 8:01 PM
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84

Btock Lamerf in the hizzy?


Posted by: Beefo Meaty | Link to this comment | 12- 8-07 8:02 PM
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85

73: Yes indeed. We want something to look at. I was just thinking in terms of exaggerated breasts or tiny waists, say, in today's world. No point beyond that.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 12- 8-07 8:02 PM
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86

whoooooooooooooooOOOOOOOOMKABOOM


Posted by: ejaculating statue | Link to this comment | 12- 8-07 8:02 PM
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87

83 gets it exactly right.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 12- 8-07 8:03 PM
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88

85: See, that is what is lovely about it. And what you were getting at in your earlier comment. Such a tiny, subtle tweak.


Posted by: oudemia | Link to this comment | 12- 8-07 8:04 PM
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89

88: you still have not satisfactorily explained Jason Adonis to me. Please, I've looked at enough gay porn for one night. Help me understand!


Posted by: Beefo Meaty | Link to this comment | 12- 8-07 8:06 PM
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88: Oh, well, calling it lovely was more an indication, or a question, about what might be a human desire to do this, to exaggerate certain features, to obsess over them to the point that it ceases to occur to one that it's entirely unrealistic.

Why did I call that lovely, again? Stupid humans.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 12- 8-07 8:09 PM
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91

And I must say, every time I refresh this thread, I see a flash of an early comment: "The Dylan link is broken."


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 12- 8-07 8:09 PM
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92

89: I can't see Jason's back! I see only Jason's (exceedingly comely) side. But on the back of the doryphoros or the discobolos that line goes around on the back nearly to the spine. I think you should look at more boy pix to see.


Posted by: oudemia | Link to this comment | 12- 8-07 8:09 PM
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93

Please, I've looked at enough gay porn for one night. Help me understand!

One possibility is that you're gay. Do you find yourself looking at "enough" gay porn frequently?


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 12- 8-07 8:10 PM
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94

This sort of answers my question.


Posted by: Beefo Meaty | Link to this comment | 12- 8-07 8:11 PM
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95

93: I just want to understand.


Posted by: Beefo Meaty | Link to this comment | 12- 8-07 8:12 PM
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96

i wishyouall talkabout
sunmoonstarsrain
not porn


Posted by: | Link to this comment | 12- 8-07 8:12 PM
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97

There's a fine line between æsthetics and porn. It runs along the iliac crest.


Posted by: md 20/400 | Link to this comment | 12- 8-07 8:14 PM
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98

What men call the heart lies much lower than the fourth waistcoat-button.


Posted by: GC Lichtenberg | Link to this comment | 12- 8-07 8:16 PM
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99

ok, convinced
resume talking


Posted by: | Link to this comment | 12- 8-07 8:18 PM
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100

96: read, you're new here.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 12- 8-07 8:20 PM
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101

Has there ever been a decent rap song that started 'My name is...'?


Posted by: asl | Link to this comment | 12- 8-07 8:20 PM
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102

I don't know who this person is but if he or she is trying to impostrate me I will resist.


Posted by: Brock Landers | Link to this comment | 12- 8-07 8:20 PM
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103

sunmoonstarsrainlaughterofsquirrels


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 12- 8-07 8:22 PM
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104

Only let qualified professionals impostrate you.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 12- 8-07 8:22 PM
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105

101: I was going to cite this, but it starts with "I'm".


Posted by: Cryptic Ned | Link to this comment | 12- 8-07 8:23 PM
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106

100
should i leave


Posted by: 96 | Link to this comment | 12- 8-07 8:27 PM
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107

title of this song but I don't know whether it qualifies as decent or god


Posted by: Brock Landers | Link to this comment | 12- 8-07 8:27 PM
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108

God, this isn't the first time I've wished I could find again the jpeg of an Aubrey Beardsley sketch in which a man-sized penis makes obeisance to a naked, headless woman. Really beautifully rendered.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 12- 8-07 8:28 PM
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109

107- That works.


Posted by: asl | Link to this comment | 12- 8-07 8:31 PM
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110

107: not God, you heretic.


Posted by: Beefo Meaty | Link to this comment | 12- 8-07 8:31 PM
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111

106: What? I assume you're read; you have trouble signing your posts but have a distinctive typed style. Anyway, no, I agree with

i wishyouall talkabout
sunmoonstarsrain
not porn

But that's because I'm stubborn.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 12- 8-07 8:31 PM
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112

108, that sounds like a sketch well worth finding.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 12- 8-07 8:32 PM
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113

108, is it from his Lysistrata illustrations?


Posted by: Blume | Link to this comment | 12- 8-07 8:34 PM
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114

Hmmm.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 12- 8-07 8:40 PM
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115

114- Click the image to send this picture as a virtual postcard to a friend.


Posted by: asl | Link to this comment | 12- 8-07 8:43 PM
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116

Damn, okay, I'll try again to find it. I have no idea where it's from; once forwarded on some discussion list, and I thought I'd saved it, but hard drive crash, recovery, etc.

If anyone has better google-fu than I do: it appeared to be set in a graveyard or something. Very Poe-like setting.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 12- 8-07 8:45 PM
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117

oh hi sifu i didn't notice you there WHERE IS MY MOTHERFUCKING KARAOKE BITCH?


Posted by: Brock Landers | Link to this comment | 12- 8-07 8:46 PM
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118

Beardsley is so great. The image I refer to was not quite a sketch as in 114. Man-sized penis bowing its head, with little arms from its shaft, to the woman 3 steps above it/him, with her arms imperiously on her hips.

Sigh. Funny.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 12- 8-07 8:51 PM
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119

117: maybe you should ask her that.

No, seriously folks.

I did karaoke twice last weekend, but I was in California. Holy shit did I ever rock "Edge of Seventeen".

We've been saying DEEP ELLUM is the prime new meetup spot, but if big baby Mr. Landers wants to do karaoke I suppose we could work something out.


Posted by: Beefo Meaty | Link to this comment | 12- 8-07 8:52 PM
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120

I see Deep Ellum offers fine dinning and has just released a GREAT "Home Cook'n" FALL MENU. If w-lfs-n ever comes to Boston we'll definitely have the meetup there. I think he'd enjoy reading the menu.


Posted by: mcmc | Link to this comment | 12- 8-07 9:13 PM
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120: aside from having an execrable website, they have (a) Wild Boar on a skewer, (b) excellent beer and (c) many exciting and unusual cocktails made with things like rye, brandy, plymouth gin, and the souls of our ancestors.


Posted by: Beefo Meaty | Link to this comment | 12- 8-07 9:15 PM
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122

the souls of our ancestors

I do love me some spirits.


Posted by: Blume | Link to this comment | 12- 8-07 9:16 PM
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123

I probably would enjoy going to a place with lots of classic cocktails and boar on a skewer.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 12- 8-07 9:16 PM
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124

I officially speculate that William Goldman was inspired by "Seven Curses" when he wrote Westley's threat to Humperdinck. Also, does anyone besides me have a problem with confusing the name of the aforementioned writer with the name of the author of Lord of the Flies?


Posted by: washerdreyer | Link to this comment | 12- 9-07 12:43 AM
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