Re: Host With The Most

1

I guess I'd have to say mine: hers might reveal a bit too much about me and her both...

(ducking)


Posted by: McKingford | Link to this comment | 12- 9-07 8:40 PM
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Speaking of follow ups, I believe Cala had a "suck it, Patriots" in another thread. How 'bout that Steeler defense? Good job keeping Brady under 400 yards.


Posted by: gswift | Link to this comment | 12- 9-07 8:41 PM
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3: The Patriots will be unstoppable until they meet the Browns in the playoffs.


Posted by: politicalfootball | Link to this comment | 12- 9-07 8:43 PM
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Either is fine.

Men, however, might want to take into account the fact that women are the ones responsible for all methods of birth control *other* than condoms, not to mention dealing with the aftermath if the birth control method of choice fails. Men who don't take that into account are either too inconsiderate or too ignorant to be considered mature sex partners.

Gentlemen will therefore provide a token gesture of responsibility in the form of condoms, should they want to use them.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 12- 9-07 8:43 PM
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Let me go ask my wife.


Posted by: W. Kiernan | Link to this comment | 12- 9-07 8:43 PM
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Women, of course, who are worried about both disease prevention *and* birth control, will generally have condoms on hand. But this isn't an excuse for men to dodge the one responsibility they have in this regard.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 12- 9-07 8:44 PM
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We're done with that conversation, I think.


Posted by: Becks | Link to this comment | 12- 9-07 8:47 PM
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Theirs?


Posted by: ptm | Link to this comment | 12- 9-07 8:47 PM
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I beg your pardon. I was told that I hadn't made myself clear on the subject; I won't address it again.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 12- 9-07 8:48 PM
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Why have sex when you could play TF2 instead? If any of the people who expressed an interest before are around this evening, I now have a server running. And I know you're around, because let's face it, you aren't out having sex.


Posted by: Gonerill | Link to this comment | 12- 9-07 8:50 PM
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Ogged or someone (I don't know how, short of copying comments out of the database one by one) should really send you the tail end of that thread, if you missed it, which I think you did. There was crankiness and bickering, following on from the bit of the conversation you were involved in.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 12- 9-07 8:52 PM
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Theirs. I hate hosting.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 12- 9-07 8:53 PM
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LB, check your hotmail account.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 12- 9-07 8:55 PM
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The CW is that a woman feels more comfortable on home turf. But CW is often neither conventional, nor wise. So is it true here? (speaking not just of one's own preference, but the sense of all women).


Posted by: McKingford | Link to this comment | 12- 9-07 8:56 PM
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How precisely do you expect to receive "the sense of all women"?


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 12- 9-07 8:57 PM
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I've got this probe right here.


Posted by: Gonerill | Link to this comment | 12- 9-07 8:57 PM
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Now you just need to apply for funding.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 12- 9-07 8:58 PM
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Mine, though, at the risk of the inevitable gossip that goes along with having roommates who occupy one's social network.


Posted by: Armsmasher | Link to this comment | 12- 9-07 8:58 PM
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14 seems both needlessly restricted to one gender, and pretty near tautology.


Posted by: LRock | Link to this comment | 12- 9-07 9:01 PM
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How precisely do you expect to receive "the sense of all women"?

I suppose I can't...but I was thinking something along the lines of "I prefer my place, but most of my girlfriends..."


Posted by: McKingford | Link to this comment | 12- 9-07 9:02 PM
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I prefer my place, and most of my girlfriends do too, because my furniture is awesome.


Posted by: LRock | Link to this comment | 12- 9-07 9:04 PM
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hotel, a gentleman pays, but not to the girl
condoms are a pre-requisite
for above

a nice urban haiku, uh?


Posted by: 22 | Link to this comment | 12- 9-07 9:07 PM
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10: Still haven't had a chance to pick up the Orange Box. This week, I promise.

(Must. frag. ogged.)


Posted by: Josh | Link to this comment | 12- 9-07 9:10 PM
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Who has the better place? If it's more or less equal, then theirs, because it's easier to leave when I want to than to shoo someone out when I wish that they'd go.


Posted by: Populuxe | Link to this comment | 12- 9-07 9:11 PM
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What's TF2?


Posted by: Armsmasher | Link to this comment | 12- 9-07 9:11 PM
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What's TF2?

This.


Posted by: Gonerill | Link to this comment | 12- 9-07 9:12 PM
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10, 16: Gonerill missed his priestly calling.


Posted by: Invisible Adjunct | Link to this comment | 12- 9-07 9:13 PM
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I like my place. Part of it is because I have a truly awesome bed, whose comfort I've only seen surpassed once (and that was by a female friend's bed, so I don't think that option is ever going to be on the table). The other part is because of my lifestyle -- with all of the traveling I do, I'm away from home enough as it is; I'd really like to sleep in my own bed and feel at home when given the opportunity.


Posted by: Becks | Link to this comment | 12- 9-07 9:14 PM
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It's been awhile, but as a slob I'd generally say 'his' -- when I lived alone, making my place fit for company would have been an effort, and even after achieving tidiness, it was still dull.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 12- 9-07 9:14 PM
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10, 16: Gonerill missed his priestly calling.

lol. yes, of course ... I sound just like Father Christy back at home, trying to convince the lads that a nice cup of tea and a game of table tennis was not only more wholesome but also truly more enjoyable than a night out on the pull.


Posted by: Gonerill | Link to this comment | 12- 9-07 9:16 PM
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23: Steam, dude!


Posted by: LRock | Link to this comment | 12- 9-07 9:16 PM
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Depends. Accumulations of pink heart-shaped throw pillows, mounted animal heads, or fungal & bacterial experiments should be taken into account by the knowledgable party as possibly inhibiting.


Posted by: bob mcmanus | Link to this comment | 12- 9-07 9:18 PM
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Generally, when I was sleeping with someone because I was fundamentally sort of bored, I wanted to go to their place. Change of scene, curious new items, etc. When I wanted to bring the person into my life or just have sex and have it now, I was more comfortable at my place.


Posted by: Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 12- 9-07 9:19 PM
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I hate it when a date wants to come to my place, especially if I get the sense that he wants insight into what kind of person I am by what stuff I have. I don't like having to do show-and-tell, and feeling like I'm being judged as a consumer.

Likewise, I usually like going to my date's place because I really don't care if he's made the bed or what books he has or whatever. I'm not always good about being an easygoing host, but I am an easygoing guest.

Occasionally, I've often been roped into ten minutes of "And here's my movie collection! What do you think? And here's my collection of art books! What do you think? And I'm the kind of person who doesn't keep much in the fridge! What do you think?" I find such things pretty uninterpretable, and I'd much rather get a sense of someone's character from how he acts and talks around me.

The one thing I really do love about having someone stay the night is if I've bought stuff to make a really good breakfast in the morning. Alas, the last guy I dated did not eat breakfast. It wouldn't have worked out anyway.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 12- 9-07 9:20 PM
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Okay, as soon as I've got Steam installed I'll get TF2.


Posted by: Josh | Link to this comment | 12- 9-07 9:22 PM
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Nah, play Portal first, if you haven't. That goes for everyone, really.


Posted by: LRock | Link to this comment | 12- 9-07 9:23 PM
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Also, rarely is the question actually raised as such. At the end of the evening, at least for the first several dates, the move to the house is predicated by some offer of entertainment. So I find that courtship means that we're going to my house.


Posted by: Armsmasher | Link to this comment | 12- 9-07 9:25 PM
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30: Gonerill = Father Ted! Gotta love that dark red carved carpeting.


Posted by: Invisible Adjunct | Link to this comment | 12- 9-07 9:27 PM
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Too late, I already bought TF2 standalone. Oh well.


Posted by: Josh | Link to this comment | 12- 9-07 9:28 PM
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In college it was easy: whichever one of us wasn't sharing a bedroom that year and/or had snuck in an extra twin bed. After college, the issue never arose.


Posted by: Katherine | Link to this comment | 12- 9-07 9:30 PM
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I used to sublet rooms and had too much furniture and a single bed. Nonetheless, I often hosted, to the amusement particularly of the Indian grad-student couple I roomed with. I remember her delightful approval of an overnight visitor.


Posted by: I don't pay | Link to this comment | 12- 9-07 9:32 PM
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Christ, this is taking forever. It might have been faster to wait until tomorrow and buy the game in the store.


Posted by: Josh | Link to this comment | 12- 9-07 9:35 PM
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My roommates didn't like either of the people I brought home, but I think it was more that they were really prissy about promiscuity, as both of them were basically chemically castrated by the amounts of drugs they did.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 12- 9-07 9:38 PM
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One of my sister's suitemates junior year actually banged on another's door & yelled: "don't do it! you'll regret it in the morning!". Not as a joke, either.


Posted by: Katherine | Link to this comment | 12- 9-07 9:42 PM
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It depends a lot on whether she has a cat, or cats. And if so where they sleep.


Posted by: PerfectlyGoddamnDelightful | Link to this comment | 12- 9-07 9:48 PM
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The heat is better at her place.


Posted by: Lambent Cactus | Link to this comment | 12- 9-07 9:59 PM
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Actually, if she does have a cat she probably has to go home to give it medicine or feed it or some such.

Also, contact lens solution.


Posted by: PerfectlyGoddamnDelightful | Link to this comment | 12- 9-07 10:16 PM
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TF2 is from The Valve? Do, the weapons include crushing critiques of theory?

Me, I'm Jabba the Hut. My place, necessarily.


Posted by: md 20/400 | Link to this comment | 12- 9-07 10:24 PM
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If it's just a casual thing, always their place because then I don't have to worry about cleaning up, and the encounter is over when I choose (which is usually early in the morning). If it's someone I'm dating, my place because I like to be in the comfort of my own home. With my current boyfriend, we used to spend almost every one of the nights we spent together at his place, because his bed was comfortable and mine a piece of shit. Back in September, I dropped a decent amount of cash on a new bed and now we almost never sleep at his place anymore. Score.


Posted by: m. leblanc | Link to this comment | 12- 9-07 10:30 PM
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If we were playing TF2, I would kill you all. Sadly, after a tragic Counterstrike incident, I have taken a vow of online non-violence.


Posted by: Walt Someguy | Link to this comment | 12- 9-07 10:32 PM
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50: 1.5, 1.6, or Source?


Posted by: LRock | Link to this comment | 12- 9-07 10:47 PM
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After my wife left, it was my place by a ratio of 5:1 (the sixth was the charm). "This may not strike you as a typical bachelor's apartment," I might say. "You may notice a ... feminine touch."

There was a point at which my wife took considerable exception to this.


Posted by: Wrongshore | Link to this comment | 12- 9-07 11:20 PM
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Your wife went on your first six dates with you after she left? Ballsy move, WS.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 12- 9-07 11:25 PM
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Heh. Actually, when we continued to see each other, it was half out of town, quarter at each of our places.

Man, 2006 was a complicated year.


Posted by: Wrongshore | Link to this comment | 12- 9-07 11:30 PM
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Her place is quite tasteful, my place has TVs. So we split the difference.

This mix is taking me a goddamned long time. I hope somebody likes it.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 12- 9-07 11:35 PM
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You should just listen to the Vandermark mix instead. I swear to god, the last three or four tracks even approach funkiness.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 12- 9-07 11:37 PM
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I was watching CSI NY with my sister once, and one of the female detectives said that she never brought guys back to her house because she needed her home to be "safe space." Her turned-out-to-be-psycho boyfriend followed her home anyway, made a wax key copy, broke into her home, and tried to kill her anyway. But it being TV and she being a cop, she killed the guy and the forensic team verified her account of self defense.

Anyway, that idea of "safe space" sounds appealing and in a way logical, if impractical to sustain. How many months can you date without ever going back to your partner's place? And really, going over to a guy's place means that you can be killed on his turf at any rate. But I suppose it comports with how people meet at neutral locations on first dates, and don't invite the other over unless they give the appearance of non-psychotic at first blush. But I really doubt people with wine-goggles and sex deprivation-goggles make good judgments about their dinner partner's sanity at any rate.

My first date with my boyfriend (we had never met before our date, we met online) was making dinner together at my house, which everyone yelled at me for because I could have gotten killed. But it could have been the same had we met at a neutral location and I invited him back to my place, or went to his place. In any case, I'm still alive, although I admit that was probably irresponsible of me.

So I don't know whose place. I feel safer on my own turf.


Posted by: Belle Lettre | Link to this comment | 12- 9-07 11:39 PM
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tried to kill her anyway

God, I hate it so much when you go out of your way to be nice to someone and show them a little common decency and then they turn around and try to kill you anyway.

People!


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 12- 9-07 11:41 PM
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I was watching CSI NY. . . once

You should have realized something was going wrong at this point


Posted by: washerdreyer | Link to this comment | 12- 9-07 11:42 PM
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56: I will listen once I've gotten mine put together. It looks good.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 12- 9-07 11:42 PM
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This mix is taking me a goddamned long time. I hope somebody likes it.

I will!

Heh, I've finally culled a mere 70 tracks from the 1000+ I have that were first released in this year alone. Maybe if I'm lucky, I can turn these into a couple mixes before the end of the year given my typical working pace.


Posted by: Po-Mo Polymath | Link to this comment | 12- 9-07 11:45 PM
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61: I am using your Audacity technique, so you can feel all warm and fuzzy listening to it.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 12- 9-07 11:46 PM
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I would never meet someone for the first time at their home, if avoidable. I'm not terribly afraid of being killed by someone who doesn't yet have a reason to, but I just want to know what the dynamic is.

The better someone knows me, the more afraid I am that they'll try to kill me.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 12- 9-07 11:48 PM
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My first date with my boyfriend (we had never met before our date, we met online) was making dinner together at my house, which everyone yelled at me for because I could have gotten killed.

Women mostly killed by people they know. Statistically, first date probably the safest.


Posted by: gswift | Link to this comment | 12- 9-07 11:49 PM
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Oh come on, AWB, you're not that bad.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 12- 9-07 11:50 PM
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65, see 64.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 12- 9-07 11:56 PM
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64: Serial killers mostly kill strangers they just met. While most murders are by known people and not by "first dates", the vast majority of human encounters are not first dates. A considerable proportion of murders come from the tiny proportion of encounters which are first dates.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 12-10-07 12:04 AM
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Josh, it also took me forever to download, but it did eventually install, and I just logged into Gonerill's server and promptly got my ass kicked.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 12-10-07 12:08 AM
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A considerable proportion of murders come from the tiny proportion of encounters which are first dates.

Do you know any numbers offhand? I would have guessed the proportion of murders that are by serial killer types to be pretty small.


Posted by: gswift | Link to this comment | 12-10-07 12:14 AM
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I think Emerson is just pushing his no relationship policy.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 12-10-07 12:18 AM
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70: well, it makes sense.

You're not safe on a first date because of serial killers, but on subsequent dates you know the person you're dating and since you're much more likely to be killed by people you know, still not safe. Meanwhile you cannot take them back to your place, because that's no longer safe then, while going back to theirs is just inviting disaster and any motel you're going to is likely to be run by Norman Bates.

Makes you wonder what the hell my current partner was thinking coming over from a foreign country to spent New Year's Eve with a stranger from the internet...


Posted by: Martin Wisse | Link to this comment | 12-10-07 12:36 AM
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I've done all kinds of "dangerous" things with strangers. When I was 17, I took a seven-hour roadtrip to a concert with someone I (barely) knew from the internet, where we didn't even bother getting a hotel room because we figured we'd run into other internet folks, who let us crash on their floor. I was a child! It was great.

Compared to the creepy early internet-meetup days, online dating is pretty tame.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 12-10-07 12:44 AM
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re: 71

A couple of New Years ago, my wife and I met a girl in the pub who had done exactly that. She was there in the pub with a guy she'd met on the Internet* and with whom she'd agreed to spend New Year. We ended up giving her our address and number as she was finding the guy pretty creepy and there was a genuine possibility she might have needed to flee his place.

She didn't get in touch, so I presume it all worked out.

* he wasn't a total stranger. They did have some real-life mutual friends but they'd only been in touch by email.


Posted by: nattarGcM ttaM | Link to this comment | 12-10-07 12:44 AM
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71: They were thinking "those cock pictures better have been real."


Posted by: Walt Someguy | Link to this comment | 12-10-07 12:47 AM
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"She didn't get in touch, so I presume it all worked out she's buried in his backyard."


Posted by: gswift | Link to this comment | 12-10-07 12:48 AM
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re: 75

Actually, joking aside, we did have vague worries in that direction, yeah.

She told us she arrived at his house, jet-lagged. Went to bed to get a few hours sleep, woke up to find him in the bed with her, trying to have sex with her. When she said 'Wtf?' he started crying and begging her to fuck him. Then about 6 or 7 hours later she was telling us this in the pub, and we were just staring, incredulous.

He kept eyeing us suspiciously.


Posted by: nattarGcM ttaM | Link to this comment | 12-10-07 12:56 AM
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And the guy's name was Martin Wisse? Say it isn't so!


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 12-10-07 1:02 AM
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Were you reading your local papers for a few days hoping that no dead bodies were found?

But, wow. That is beyond creepy.

Yeah, I guess I'm lucky. One of my friends met a guy online and dated him for over a year. Turned out to be abusive and murderous.


Posted by: Belle Lettre | Link to this comment | 12-10-07 1:03 AM
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All my online guys were lovely. I've been dating the last one for three years.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 12-10-07 1:05 AM
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80

So she goes out drinking with him anyway?


Posted by: Nworb Werdna | Link to this comment | 12-10-07 1:05 AM
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Sorry. 80 to 76. Don't you people ever sleep?


Posted by: Nworb Werdna | Link to this comment | 12-10-07 1:06 AM
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80: If I were trapped as the guest of someone like that, I'd spent as much time in public during the visit as possible.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 12-10-07 1:07 AM
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Yeah, I think 82 has it right.

She was also being quite charitable about the guy. "I know it sounds awful, but, he has had a rough year, etc." But he was a creepy [although actually fairly handsome] freak -- one of those nasty nerd types.* He definitely had our 'number', he kept trying to manoeuvre her away from my wife.

* I don't mean that all nerds are nasty, but that there's a subtype that is.


Posted by: nattarGcM ttaM | Link to this comment | 12-10-07 1:12 AM
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Since this is the current sex thread, let's all take a moment to marvel at this peek into the wingnut mind. (via Sadly, No)

Thwarted sexual desire is nearly as necessary to young people as food and shelter.

http://www.weeklystandard.com/Content/Public/Articles/000/000/014/462wtjth.asp


Posted by: gswift | Link to this comment | 12-10-07 1:53 AM
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82: I see that. It was the alcohol that worried me.


Posted by: Nworb Werdna | Link to this comment | 12-10-07 2:08 AM
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Depends which is most convenient, doesn't it?

All else being equal (but when is all else equal?) her place, because I have two cats who tend to stare at guests a lot, especially when they're occupying my bed. If she has dogs, my place.


Posted by: Jesurgislac | Link to this comment | 12-10-07 2:58 AM
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re: 85

She wasn't really drinking. She spent most of the evening holding a baby [which belonged to another stranger in the pub] and talking to us. Partly because it was a cute baby, and partly, I think, to send 'not interested' signals to weepy-creepy guy.


Posted by: nattarGcM ttaM | Link to this comment | 12-10-07 3:16 AM
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What a horrible situation! And I was at least as much worried by his drinking.


Posted by: Nworb Werdna | Link to this comment | 12-10-07 4:33 AM
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re: 88

Yeah, I suspect the final outcome of her stay was probably a fair bit of creepy pressure from her host, but no actual nastiness [but I have no way of knowing].


Posted by: nattarGcM ttaM | Link to this comment | 12-10-07 4:34 AM
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I was going to follow what several others have said: early on, "his place" on the principle that it's easier to leave than to try to get someone else to leave; at some point, "my place" because I'm getting really tired of all the driving and can't seem to meet anyone who lives in my end of town.

But gswift's 84 has persuaded me otherwise and henceforth any dating I might do shall be in a very public setting, preferably chaperoned, with boldness beyond perhaps the holding of hands being firmly rebuffed.


Posted by: Di Kotimy | Link to this comment | 12-10-07 5:01 AM
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My place

1) I'm one of the few people I know who doesn't have a roommate

2) My bed surpasses even Becks' bed in comfort. (Though as I'm female, she'll sadly never get 'the invitation').

3) If he turns out to be a serial killer, at least he's comfortably far away from his home dungeon, and body disposal is likely to be complicated. Why not just shag like minks instead, and make the *next* one that special victim?

4) Given where I live, a walk home through the dark streets is an even more plausible enticement than entertainment.


Posted by: Pink Monster | Link to this comment | 12-10-07 5:41 AM
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When my wife and I were dating and each had our own place, we had rotation system: one night at mine, one night at hers, one night separate. This was so that her cat didn't get lonely.


Posted by: mrh | Link to this comment | 12-10-07 5:43 AM
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shivbunny and I have been together a while, and with the distance thing there wasn't really an option on whose bed, but I like being at my place because all of my stuff is there. Before that it was all college dorms.


Posted by: Cala | Link to this comment | 12-10-07 5:56 AM
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When my wife and I were dating and each had our own place, we had rotation system: one night at mine, one night at hers,

So far this was us, no pets so no nights separate. Maybe not a change every night, but most, I think for changes of clothes and mail, watering plants and so on.

I don't think "safety" was ever an issue in choice of places, certainly not for me. Before I went to grad school I moved back with my parents, but worked odd hours and went days without seeing them. Always "hers" during that period.


Posted by: I don't pay | Link to this comment | 12-10-07 6:01 AM
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I always had to go to their place, because I've got a psycho attack kitty who I had to cage before people came over, and I lived in a basement with no doors to shut the cat away in a room. If I knew I was going to have company, I could fix an extra litter box and food and water and keep him in the cage for a few days. It's all a giant pain in the ass.

Somewhere on YouTube there is a video of my cat trying to attack someone through on the other side of a glass door. My cat is on his hind legs, like a bear, leaping and swiping at the door with his claws at the highest point of his jump.

When there aren't strangers around though, he comes over and says "'nuggle"?


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 12-10-07 6:27 AM
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You cage your cat? If I were you, I'd use my cat as a test: "First, you must pass the Trial of Pain!" My psycho cat would hide for the first few times they were over. Once she'd got used to them, then the biting and clawing would start.


Posted by: foolishmortal | Link to this comment | 12-10-07 6:35 AM
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Her place because I have no idea how my dog would take to someone sleeping on his side of the bed. I am guessing he would just try and sleep between us, but my bed isn't that big and my dog is so it would probably be a nuisance. That and I am a slob.


Posted by: CJB | Link to this comment | 12-10-07 6:44 AM
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You cage your cat?

Yeah. When he was first developing symptoms of Feline Territorial Aggression (aside: this is why we made the video of him attacking the door. So that my vet can show it to her students and at conferences.) Anyway, when he first went off his rocker, he attacked my friend's face while my friend was sleeping.

My friend was sound asleep in a sleeping bag in the living room. The cat came up behind his head, and swiped his claws up my friend's face - starting between the eyes and going up his forehead. Dangerous kitty. Now I keep him confined when people are over.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 12-10-07 6:48 AM
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I think these two videos are so funny. I keep watching them over again.

1. Power Thirst is Powerful!

2. The sequel! Now with preposterone!>


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 12-10-07 7:00 AM
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#84. Kaczynski's most horrid crime was giving Gelernter a soapbox to rant from.


Posted by: Populuxe | Link to this comment | 12-10-07 7:00 AM
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If I were you, I'd use my cat as a test: "First, you must pass the Trial of Pain!"

I suspect people would be offended if the response to the 'Trial of Pain!' was to drop-kick the cat out a window.


Posted by: nattarGcM ttaM | Link to this comment | 12-10-07 7:07 AM
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96, 97:

One ex's dog usually slept in her bed. My first night there he wasn't real happy with my taking his spot, so hopped up on the bed, cocked a leg, and peed on me. She was mortified. I was too busy laughing to correct him.

Another buddy had a 140-pound dog that usually slept in his bed. One night when the dog was relegated to the floor, he hopped up in bed, laid down between them with his back to my buddy, and streeeeeched his legs out. The girl woke up when she hit the floor.

My buddy's reaction was "Well, you can kinda see where he's coming from", which was the wrong answer.


Posted by: Ulysses S Grant | Link to this comment | 12-10-07 7:08 AM
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99: When God gives you lemons, FIND A NEW GOD.

Awesome.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 12-10-07 7:35 AM
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104

You'll feel like a FIGHTER JET made of BICEPS!


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 12-10-07 7:39 AM
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In response to the original post: When Molly and I started dating, she insisted on her place, because she had seen mine, and really didn't like the idea of spending the night in such a goddamn dump.


Posted by: rob helpy-chalk | Link to this comment | 12-10-07 7:43 AM
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This must be the only decent thing I've seen out of collegehumor. Most of their shit makes me proud to be uneducated.


Posted by: foolishmortal | Link to this comment | 12-10-07 7:45 AM
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I am probably more ashamed of my apartment than I should be because my ex of two and a half years owned a brownstone. He came over here maybe six or seven times in that span. Once, he brought his kids, who referred to it as "AWB's teeny tiny little room!" It's actually a pretty expensive little studio with an impressively big eat-in kitchen. It's still not comfortable to have more than two people in here at a time, but it's not a shitty apartment, though I think of it that way.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 12-10-07 7:46 AM
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When I was at the NEH China institute I stayed in a dorm room about twice as long and twice as wide as the single bed it contained along with a wooden desk. When my four year old saw it, she said, "Daddy, you sleep there?"

"Yes"

"And when you're not sleeping you read there?"

"Yes"

"And you like it here?"

"I like it a lot"

"You would."


Posted by: rob helpy-chalk | Link to this comment | 12-10-07 7:51 AM
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OT: Wish me luck, everyone?


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 12-10-07 7:56 AM
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Good luck, LB!!


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 12-10-07 7:56 AM
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111

I finally learned from Beer Advocate magazine who "Knecht Ruprecht" originally was.


Posted by: Cryptic Ned | Link to this comment | 12-10-07 7:56 AM
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Good luck!


Posted by: I don't pay | Link to this comment | 12-10-07 7:57 AM
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113

Good luck, Elbie! Knock em dead!


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 12-10-07 7:58 AM
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114

Good luck Lizard!


Posted by: rob helpy-chalk | Link to this comment | 12-10-07 7:59 AM
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115

Friend of ours took a room at I-House a couple of years ago. Horrifying.


Posted by: I don't pay | Link to this comment | 12-10-07 8:00 AM
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Like she needs it. Excess good luck anyway, on my part.


Posted by: foolishmortal | Link to this comment | 12-10-07 8:00 AM
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Break a leg! (Is this a job interview?)


Posted by: Gonerill | Link to this comment | 12-10-07 8:00 AM
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118

Oh, and theirs. We don't even have a table.


Posted by: foolishmortal | Link to this comment | 12-10-07 8:01 AM
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LB: Woo! Agathe Tuche and all that!


Posted by: oudemia | Link to this comment | 12-10-07 8:01 AM
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Knock 'em dead!


Posted by: Blume | Link to this comment | 12-10-07 8:01 AM
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118: Yeah, what are you going to screw on without a table?


Posted by: rob helpy-chalk | Link to this comment | 12-10-07 8:02 AM
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115: Really? I've never stepped foot in the place, but all their flyers etc. seem so festive.


Posted by: oudemia | Link to this comment | 12-10-07 8:02 AM
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Or maybe just stun 'em a little. If they're dead, they can't hire you.


Posted by: Blume | Link to this comment | 12-10-07 8:02 AM
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115: My parents "met" at I-House, and I won't hear a word against it.


Posted by: foolishmortal | Link to this comment | 12-10-07 8:02 AM
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I think the videos in 99 are inferior to the original and still the best entry in the energy-drink spoof genre, Brawndo:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tbxq0IDqD04

Not sure where this came from, I think there might have been a tiny clip in the movie "Idiocracy".


Posted by: PerfectlyGoddamnDelightful | Link to this comment | 12-10-07 8:11 AM
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MENERGY!

Funny Canadians are so funny!


Posted by: mcmc | Link to this comment | 12-10-07 8:13 AM
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What does LB need good luck for? Take the weekend off and all of a sudden I don't understand a damn thing that's going on around here.


Posted by: PerfectlyGoddamnDelightful | Link to this comment | 12-10-07 8:16 AM
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125: Fine, one-uppy-pants. I still think mine are funnier, but I think they plagiarized the hell out of yours. Everyone loses!


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 12-10-07 8:19 AM
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Good luck LB!


Posted by: mcmc | Link to this comment | 12-10-07 8:19 AM
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125: I dunno, I think PowerAde is the more enticing drink. It promises to make me WIN at WEDDINGS. That would be great. I'm so tired of loosing at weddings because I am such a pussy.


Posted by: rob helpy-chalk | Link to this comment | 12-10-07 8:21 AM
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loosing at weddings

Are you untying the bride and setting her free? I don't think that makes you a pussy at all, Rob.


Posted by: oudemia | Link to this comment | 12-10-07 8:23 AM
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Break a leg, LB!


Posted by: Witt | Link to this comment | 12-10-07 8:24 AM
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I'm so tired of loosing at weddings because I am such a pussy.

With the Charles Atlas program you need no longer fear getting beaten up at the altar by guys trying to impress your bride-to-be.


Posted by: Cryptic Ned | Link to this comment | 12-10-07 8:25 AM
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131: The main thing I do wrong is consistently misspell "losing", which really pisses Molly off.


Posted by: rob helpy-chalk | Link to this comment | 12-10-07 8:29 AM
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Hey look:

The Supreme Court on Monday said judges may impose shorter prison terms for crack cocaine crimes, enhancing judicial discretion to reduce the disparity between sentences for crack and cocaine powder.


Posted by: oudemia | Link to this comment | 12-10-07 8:31 AM
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Now I want to change my pseud to "one-uppy pants". It sounds strangely virile.


Posted by: PerfectlyGoddamnDelightful | Link to this comment | 12-10-07 8:31 AM
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Her place. I have a cat (don't ask) and if she's allergic and I haven't found out, it could/will end badly for the both of us.


Posted by: tweedledopey | Link to this comment | 12-10-07 8:35 AM
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Definitely more virile than anything involving the word "Delightful".

Change now, weakling!


Posted by: Charles Atlas | Link to this comment | 12-10-07 8:35 AM
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There's a good chance that I'll loose at weddings when there's an open bar. May as well, since my time is past to be one of those preternaturally-attentive Megan guys and see what it gets me.


Posted by: I don't pay | Link to this comment | 12-10-07 8:44 AM
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No, PGD, your current handle is better. Better for that to become an fond nickname for us to bestow on you, as though you are Robust's insecure cousin.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 12-10-07 8:49 AM
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My dad claimed to have based his exercise routine on Charles Atlas, but while he showed me a muscle-against-muscle "dynamic tension" move, he didn't actually use them. Mostly things like pushups between chairs for full extension, something hardly unique to Atlas' system.

He weighed about 240 when I would watch him, but he really had been a 98 pound weakling. Not a weakling but not eating often enough when he was unemployed in the thirties left him weighing that little. Some of his teeth fell out.


Posted by: I don't pay | Link to this comment | 12-10-07 8:57 AM
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137: don't ask about your cat? Why? Is it, like, classified?


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 12-10-07 9:21 AM
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Why is yo titty tlassified?


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 12-10-07 9:22 AM
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That's a lolcat waiting to happen.

Regarding fighter jets made of biceps, at the moment I'm more concerned with maritime patrol jets made of cardboard and bureaucracy.


Posted by: Alex | Link to this comment | 12-10-07 10:52 AM
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Because the kitty is directly related to the reason I'm doing the ironman, and as much as i love the little guy, he can be really annoying sometimes. and now the woman that I'm kinda possibly seeing is allergic to cats, so that's not good either. but hey, new girl! w00t. also, i'm not ogged, so I haven't auto-cockblocked myself yet (key word there: yet. It's invariable).


Posted by: tweedledopey | Link to this comment | 12-10-07 11:08 AM
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TWEEDLEDOPEY IS NOT A VIRILE NAME EITHER


Posted by: Charles Atlas | Link to this comment | 12-11-07 8:14 AM
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