Re: Attention

1

Hott.


Posted by: m. leblanc | Link to this comment | 12-19-07 11:10 AM
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Very impressive. I didn't participate in the other thread because it would have taken me all afternoon to come up with something lame. Rhyme and scansion are surprisingly effortful.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 12-19-07 11:17 AM
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Nobody managed to come up with a sestina. Disappointing.


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 12-19-07 11:19 AM
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great!
may i request some apolitical sunmoonrainstuff?


Posted by: read | Link to this comment | 12-19-07 11:26 AM
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Needs to be linked to NRO.


Posted by: Tassled Loafered Leech | Link to this comment | 12-19-07 11:47 AM
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Very good. Read a revisionist work recently on the Late Medieval/"Early Modern" period that said the purpose of these elaborate verse forms was to demonstrate skill so as to attract students for intellectual tutors who wouldn't or couldn't go into the Church. The preceding sentence, if you can call it that, would probably fail to do the job.


Posted by: bob mcmanus | Link to this comment | 12-19-07 11:47 AM
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w-lfs-n is a national treasure.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 12-19-07 11:51 AM
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w-lfs-n won't tell you that Hitler wrote villanelles too.


Posted by: peep | Link to this comment | 12-19-07 11:59 AM
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9

Why ogged, I'm flattered.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 12-19-07 12:03 PM
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The man is a juggernaut. Next stop: sex!

Actually, juggernauts are unstoppable. Never mind the sex!


Posted by: Wrongshore | Link to this comment | 12-19-07 12:06 PM
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11

The man is a juggernaut.

He's juggernaut firm.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 12-19-07 12:12 PM
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12

Why didn't anyone come up with a Wallace Stevens-Umberto Eco mashup?


Posted by: Flippanter | Link to this comment | 12-19-07 12:13 PM
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13

Be the change you want to see in the world, Flippanter.


Posted by: Bave Dee | Link to this comment | 12-19-07 12:16 PM
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14

Wow, that's quite good indeed.


Posted by: Di Kotimy | Link to this comment | 12-19-07 12:22 PM
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w-lfs-n's classing up the joint. Soon it'll be Making Light.


Posted by: md 20/400 | Link to this comment | 12-19-07 12:28 PM
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Be the change you want to see in the world, Flippanter.

To paraphrase some beer commercial, Flippanter can't do it all.


Posted by: Flippanter | Link to this comment | 12-19-07 12:40 PM
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This clinched it -- w-lfs-n is getting laid at the UnfoggeDCon.

I'm working on a sonnet to help my (pretty poor) odds at the MLA meet-up, but I fear it'll be too little, too late. Plus I'm having trouble deciding between Petrarchan and Elizabethan.


Posted by: Adam Kotsko | Link to this comment | 12-19-07 12:52 PM
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If you can't come up with a pithy and non-corny ending couplet, go Petrarchan. I like the swing of the sestet anyway.


Posted by: Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 12-19-07 12:54 PM
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Bravo, w-lfs-n.

Needs to be linked to by NRO.

Where the irony will be entirely lost on them.


Posted by: politicalfootball | Link to this comment | 12-19-07 12:56 PM
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I'm actually leaning toward the little-used Spenserian sonnet now (abab, bcbc, cdcd, ee). I've long been a Faerie Queene fan.


Posted by: Adam Kotsko | Link to this comment | 12-19-07 1:00 PM
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Possible closing couplet:

Ignore that grade-school teacher, tho' she's hot:
For her degree's from Brown or Swarthmore got.


Posted by: Adam Kotsko | Link to this comment | 12-19-07 1:02 PM
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I like the swing of the sestet

IYKWIM.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 12-19-07 1:24 PM
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21: Think of all the indoctrination that I missed.
My self-criticism sessions were never quite like this.
Got it bad, got it bad, got it bad,
Im hot for teacher.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 12-19-07 1:55 PM
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An offering for Jesus. What is the opposite of an iambic? This is in opposite of iambic pentameter. Doing these is weird, because it takes just enough effort that I feel I really should have come up with better for the time I spent, but at the same time, I can't justify spending any more time.

Liberals are the "kinder, gentler" fascists
of our present age. They teach, not doing,
preach in jackboot rhythm to the chorus.
From Barack Hussein Obama's Muslim
school, from Ivy League indoctrinators,
comes the cry for death. "America is

marked, an evil force. America is
sewn of dark cloth, country of fascists
like the KKK." The indoctrinators
chatter, fearing action, fighting, doing,
When there's bleating for some Muslim
to enjoy instead. They are a chorus

Of defeat, surrender monkey chorus,
Lamely chanting "we can't change what is!
It's reality!" like a servile Muslim.
Klansmen want states' rights; they're not the fascists.
Liberals are the fascists, our undoing,
left-wing Nazi Brown indoctrinators.

Swarthmore breeds some fresh indoctrinators
every year. Another liberal chorus
plans anew to be our last undoing.
Honey pots, organic farms, a plot is
brewing in the pots of female fascists
who want big strong men like some black Muslim.

You think NOW would speak against a Muslim
stoning women? Those indoctrinators
say we should respect Islamofascists.
"We admire their reverent, prayerful chorus
Their ancient culture's what it is.
Changing it's imperial evildoing!"

Over here the Left commits to doing
all it can to make sharia Muslim
law replace our constitution. It is
giving brie to young indoctrinators,
bribes of pinot noir to join the chorus,
calling converts, "Join the ranks of fascists!"

Do you want to fight the Muslim fascists?
Doing nothing aids indoctrinators
Blogging is the way to drown the chorus.


Posted by: anonymous | Link to this comment | 12-19-07 2:34 PM
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25

Trochaic, Anon.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 12-19-07 2:42 PM
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Well done, anonymous. Sestine are long and arduous.


Posted by: OneFatEnglishman | Link to this comment | 12-19-07 3:18 PM
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Excellent, anon.


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 12-19-07 3:21 PM
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28

I would compliment the sestina, which is excellent, but I personally despise you for not signing it with some kind of name. Grrr.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 12-19-07 3:26 PM
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29

OKAY OKAY I TAKE CREDIT FOR IT


Posted by: OPINIONATED GRANDMA | Link to this comment | 12-19-07 3:29 PM
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The ante has been upped. Now w-lfs-n needs to compose something in Latin to get laid. My chances, such as they were, are totally gone.


Posted by: Adam Kotsko | Link to this comment | 12-19-07 3:46 PM
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Kotsko, would you and w-lfs-n just get a room already?


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 12-19-07 3:56 PM
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32

Bravo, anonymous.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 12-19-07 3:58 PM
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33

Really awesome. And it's the icing on the cake if it's really by OG.


Posted by: mano negra | Link to this comment | 12-19-07 4:01 PM
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34

I'm sure you can manage a troll-verse after the style of Pinsky's translation of the Inferno, Kotsko. And at that length.


Posted by: snarkout | Link to this comment | 12-19-07 4:02 PM
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35

I teach at Swarthmore
Headquarters of the fascists
Where is my armband?


Posted by: Timothy Burke | Link to this comment | 12-19-07 4:21 PM
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36

Where is my armband?

On your arm.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 12-19-07 4:26 PM
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I missed the meeting where they handed them out. The Development Office is going to make some more, though.


Posted by: Timothy Burke | Link to this comment | 12-19-07 5:13 PM
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I can't hope to compete with the ben w-lfs-n's villanelle, but I'm going to post my effort anyway. It's a trolling rondeau:

I'm a nice guy. But everyone knows
That girls don't like us Regular Joes.
They want a guy to treat them rough,
To beat them up, then buy them stuff.
It sucks, but that's the way it goes.

Not that I think anyone owes
Me love; but hey, it really blows
When a female "friend" chooses some dumb tough
Over me, a nice guy.

I can't help it; my resentment grows
I ask them out, but they all say "no."
I don't like to whine, but it's really rough!
I get so mad, I've had enough.
Who do they think they are, these stupid hos?
I'm such a nice guy!


Posted by: jms | Link to this comment | 12-19-07 5:25 PM
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39

by apolitical i meant something lyrical
like that
'Let the wings of your nose twitch'


Posted by: read | Link to this comment | 12-19-07 5:36 PM
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40

i forgot to add a very funny attempt jms


Posted by: read | Link to this comment | 12-19-07 6:09 PM
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41

40 gets it right.

A veritable Hilaire Belloc you are.


Posted by: Cryptic Ned | Link to this comment | 12-19-07 6:12 PM
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42

Thank you, read and Cryptic Ned!


Posted by: jms | Link to this comment | 12-19-07 6:27 PM
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43

I love, it, jms. That's a thing of beauty.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 12-19-07 6:41 PM
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44

My preferred verse form is the epigram.

Tantum gerrere bellum in Germaniam potuit non,
     Quantum Gallia non bellum in Iraquiam vult.

I'm pretty sure that that "non" shouldn't be where it is in the first line, but I couldn't figure out how to get things to scan otherwise. (Next: oudemia informs me that it doesn't scan anyway.)


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 12-19-07 6:42 PM
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Oh, and let me add to the praise of jms.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 12-19-07 6:44 PM
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You suck at scanning, Ben, but all great poets do. I'm the poor laboring speller with my tags and bells on.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 12-19-07 6:45 PM
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I suck at scanning so much that I composed the above checking the rules for elision, what feet are allowed where in dactylic {pent,hex}ameter (surprise: a line of dactylic hexameter can be up 83% spondees!), when something's long by position, etc, not to mention, of course, that I never learned where the natural longs go in just about any Latin word.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 12-19-07 6:47 PM
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I don't know whether you suck at scanning in Latin, of course.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 12-19-07 6:59 PM
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49

(I'll just make clear that I wasn't even trying to make the villanelle be in any particular meter.)


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 12-19-07 7:00 PM
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50

On your arm.

Armonormativist.


Posted by: Gonerill | Link to this comment | 12-19-07 7:15 PM
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51

english translation from latin, please

***
I love to kiss hands and love to give names
And also - to open doors!
Widely - into the dark night!
To listen, squeezing my head
How heavy steps lighten somewhere,
How the wind rocks
Sleepy insomniac forest.
Oh, night!
Somewhere springs run,
Drowsy - I almost sleep.
Somewhere in the night
A man drowns.

(M.T., my attempt of translation and i 'm afraid it is not up to original, i will be most grateful if you all tell me any mistakes
i 'm afraid it sounds awkward in english)


Posted by: read | Link to this comment | 12-19-07 8:22 PM
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52

What's that from, read? I like it, but I'm not sure about "squeezing my head."


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 12-19-07 8:42 PM
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I'm squeezing your head! I'm squeezing your head! Oooh that's right, I'm squeezing your head!


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 12-19-07 8:44 PM
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54

from russian to english
holding is too weak for that expression
it's 'sjimaya' - which means like squeeze something
may be there are other suitable synonyms


Posted by: read | Link to this comment | 12-19-07 8:45 PM
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It must be an idiom meaning 'listening hard'. "Straining my ears"? "Furrowing my brow"?


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 12-19-07 8:45 PM
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56

Grasping? Embracing? Clutching? Enveloping? Suffocating?


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 12-19-07 8:46 PM
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55: I'm straining your ears!


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 12-19-07 8:46 PM
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58

does it sound funny?
it's not funny
as if you have headache


Posted by: read | Link to this comment | 12-19-07 8:47 PM
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59

Oh, maybe not listening hard. "Burying my head in my hands"? Is that the image -- the head resting on the hands, that hold it tightly? "Clutching at my head"?

Nothing I'm offering sounds terribly poetic, I'm afraid.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 12-19-07 8:47 PM
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60

"gripping my head"


Posted by: Cryptic Ned | Link to this comment | 12-19-07 8:47 PM
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61

all right, open source poetic translation


Posted by: Cryptic Ned | Link to this comment | 12-19-07 8:48 PM
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58: Yeah, 'squeeze' is one of those words that's sort of funny all by itself -- you'd stay away from it if you're trying to sound serious.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 12-19-07 8:48 PM
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but there is nothing about ears in the original
she says that 'sjimaya'


Posted by: read | Link to this comment | 12-19-07 8:49 PM
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Ned is correct in 60, however unforgivably pedantic he might be elsewhere.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 12-19-07 8:51 PM
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so gripping is serious enough?
i'll change to gripping than
thanks

translation's not my work or hobby
just tool to learn english


Posted by: read | Link to this comment | 12-19-07 8:51 PM
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Also, I'm not sure about this line:

How heavy steps lighten somewhere,

What happens to the steps? Do they start out heavy, or loud, and then get lighter and quieter? Or is something different happening?


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 12-19-07 8:54 PM
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may be i'll post others sometime
too weak translations
thank you all


Posted by: read | Link to this comment | 12-19-07 8:55 PM
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68

Do, please. This is fun.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 12-19-07 8:55 PM
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69

as if someone goes away


Posted by: read | Link to this comment | 12-19-07 8:55 PM
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70

maybe "fade" instead of "lighten"


Posted by: Cryptic Ned | Link to this comment | 12-19-07 8:57 PM
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Oh, I understand (and once you say that, I should have understood to begin with.)


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 12-19-07 8:57 PM
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it's 'sjimaya'

From сжимать? Maybe 'clenching' (yes, I had to get out my Smirnitsky*); still awkward in English, but it gets the sense across.

*not a euphemism &mdash or is it?


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 12-19-07 8:58 PM
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73

But Ned's right, 'fade' is better. 'Lighten' sounds like the steps have less weight, not less sound.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 12-19-07 8:58 PM
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74

But looking at it again, unless the original uses intentionally jarring poetic language, LB translates it best with "straining my ears."


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 12-19-07 9:03 PM
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75

yes, from sjimat'
do you know russian?


Posted by: read | Link to this comment | 12-19-07 9:04 PM
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76

read, 51 is lovely, and is something that Unfogged doesn't do much. thanks.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 12-19-07 9:05 PM
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77

parsimon has it right.


Posted by: Cryptic Ned | Link to this comment | 12-19-07 9:08 PM
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78

75: I studied it long ago, but I haven't used it in many years.


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 12-19-07 9:08 PM
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LB translates it best with "straining my ears."

So Russians sometimes use "head" to indicate the part of the body that listens?


Posted by: Cryptic Ned | Link to this comment | 12-19-07 9:12 PM
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So Russians sometimes use "head" to indicate the part of the body that listens?

Understanding this was key to our victory in the Cold War.

No, but I think it's idiomatic, that Tsvetaeva is getting across the idea of straining to hear rather than the physical act of gripping one's head. Then again, maybe she had a hangover.


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 12-19-07 9:18 PM
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Right. I'm figuring the "squeezing" isn't "squeezing with my hands" but "tensing up the scalp muscles that you do tense up when you're listening hard." I might be wrong, but that was my initial guess.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 12-19-07 9:23 PM
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can't find the original
i'll post it when i'll find
so fade, i'll change

is something that Unfogged doesn't do much
i really hope it des not disturb you all
for me it would be great help to hear your advice


Posted by: read | Link to this comment | 12-19-07 9:23 PM
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It certainly doesn't disturb us. In fact, we like it.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 12-19-07 9:25 PM
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84

In verse, teo!


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 12-19-07 9:27 PM
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85

Again with the Eclectic Web Magazine.


Posted by: md 20/400 | Link to this comment | 12-19-07 9:28 PM
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86

Ever heard of free verse, Tweety?


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 12-19-07 9:29 PM
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87

Free verse
Empty purse
Poor man's
Stanzas.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 12-19-07 9:32 PM
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88

Poor Man's down man
Need a stanza?
Buy a Nissan.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 12-19-07 9:33 PM
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89

Now you know.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 12-19-07 9:34 PM
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90

Now we know.


Posted by: Nakku | Link to this comment | 12-20-07 4:46 AM
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91

i'd prefer to not read any references to cold war, hangover, poor man or sex
well, lesson for me, though i'm not like even embarassed or something to my surprise
i'm not a linguist, just learning the language
thank you all who responded seriously
i'm glad that you found only two 'awkwardisms' :)
i expected more


Posted by: read | Link to this comment | 12-20-07 5:35 AM
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i'd prefer to not read any references to cold war, hangover, poor man or sex

read, in that case, I have bad news.


Posted by: ajay | Link to this comment | 12-20-07 6:36 AM
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13: As you say:

Thirteen and a Half Ways of Looking at Jonah Goldberg

I.
In the haunted thoughts of Jonah Goldberg
The only hallowed thing
Was the fear of the Clintons.

II.
He was of two minds,
Like an Enterprise
On which there were two captains.

III.
The Goldberg flailed at the keyboard,
Pantomimed the smallness of his parts.

IV.
A liberal and a fascist
Are one.
A liberal and a fascist
And a schoolteacher are one.

V.
I know which to prefer:
The beauty of the war
Is the beauty of Bush.
You'd better agree now
Or at least soon.

VI.
Nachos filled his belly
With barbaric gas.
The shadow of the liberal
And the liberal's girlfriend
Ruined his mood.
Stupid liberals
And their exclusive parties.

VII.
O liberals of America,
Why do you propose high taxes?
Do you not see how George Bush
Walks around
Like he owns the place?

VIII.
I know your colleges
And lattes, unimpeachable suburbs,
But you know, too,
That I know,
And I am sore afraid.

IX.
When National Review
First published me,
It marked the end
Of Bill Buckley's self-respect.

X.
At the sight of liberals
Strutting in Congress
Even Michael Oakeshott
Would cry out sharply.

XI.
Heroes of conservatism
Include mothers, soldiers,
People in the shouting industries generally.
My mother scared me once,
Told Derb
About my experimentation.

XII.
His lips are moving.
He must be trying to think.

XIII.
It was afternoon in America.
It was Clinton
And it was going to be Clinton.
Giuliani sat
In the right people's hands.

XIII 1/2.
Losing is winning.
Jonah has, brings,
Bad luck.


Posted by: Flippanter | Link to this comment | 12-20-07 12:33 PM
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