Re: Got Question?

1

If it's the "Mom, I need to be a girl" kind, you might mention it.


Posted by: slolernr | Link to this comment | 12-19-07 5:21 PM
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Ain't nobody's bidness but my own


Posted by: Christine Jorgensen | Link to this comment | 12-19-07 5:25 PM
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3

"O all-knowing Internet" is the proper way to start your search queries if you expect to get any good results back.


Posted by: ed bowlinger | Link to this comment | 12-19-07 5:44 PM
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I begin all of my searches, "Dear Google,"...


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 12-19-07 5:57 PM
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... "I never thought it would happen to me..."


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 12-19-07 5:58 PM
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..."but there I was sucking on my infant child's nose..."


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 12-19-07 6:01 PM
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"...but I find myself in need of the French Scrabulous dictionary."


Posted by: Cryptic Ned | Link to this comment | 12-19-07 6:01 PM
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8

The Mormon savior has "sealing power"? Is that like when he gives you your virginity back?


Posted by: jms | Link to this comment | 12-19-07 6:03 PM
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9

jms, if you want a good answer to that, you're going to have to rephrase your question.


Posted by: Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 12-19-07 6:19 PM
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mormon savior virginity "sealing power" site:usps.gov


Posted by: Cryptic Ned | Link to this comment | 12-19-07 6:20 PM
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11

So is "sealing power" the check, or the balance, of "Franking privilege?"


Posted by: TJ | Link to this comment | 12-19-07 6:30 PM
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At the Mineshaft, those of us who've checked in have the privilege of sealing and franking each other, which tends to balance itself out over the long term.


Posted by: Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 12-19-07 6:34 PM
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Celtics liveblogging 3: Detroit must die (again)!


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 12-19-07 6:35 PM
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sealing and franking

Somehow you put a frisson in the envelope, JM.


Posted by: slolernr | Link to this comment | 12-19-07 6:37 PM
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I've sealed a few Mineshafters, but never franked, no. I'm a lady.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 12-19-07 6:39 PM
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I bet bpl ran this search.


Posted by: washerdreyer | Link to this comment | 12-19-07 6:46 PM
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17

The Mineshaft continues to push the envelope.


Posted by: politicalfootball | Link to this comment | 12-19-07 6:49 PM
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18

"A friend of mine wants to know..." That way my privacy is preserved.


Posted by: Biohazard | Link to this comment | 12-19-07 7:02 PM
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holy shit tied 1.7 seconds


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 12-19-07 7:45 PM
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well, fuck.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 12-19-07 7:56 PM
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I, threadkiller. Too damn bad, thread, the Celtics lost: you suffer.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 12-19-07 8:21 PM
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That sucked. Stupid foul.


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 12-19-07 8:36 PM
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I can't believe he did that. The refs were horrible anyhow tho.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 12-19-07 8:36 PM
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24

This seems like a reasonable thread to hijack.

So I had dinner tonight with my friend, whom I hadn't seen since the last time I mentioned her here. I'm now quite certain that she would prefer for our friendship to remain platonic, which is just as well.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 12-19-07 9:56 PM
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The reason I'm bringing this up here is that we got to talking about my online dating adventures, and I was explaining to her how it works, and I started to think about how it's really kind of a weird way to meet people. Maybe I would be a little more comfortable with it if any of the girls I met through OkCupid were not 18, but somehow they all are.

Anyone have any thoughts on this? Is online dating really that weird? Or am I just self-conscious about my cradle-robbing ways?


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 12-19-07 10:03 PM
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Yes and yes.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 12-19-07 10:06 PM
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Which one was this, teo? And why are you certain? And why is it just as well?


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 12-19-07 10:06 PM
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The one who I was talking about a few weeks ago who I was thinking might be interested in going in a less platonic direction. We didn't talk about that specifically, but we did talk about the general issue and the impression I got was that she's just not very interested in that sort of thing right now and has a lot of other stuff to deal with that's more important. It's just as well because I'm not sure I can even imagine what dating her would be like, since I'd never really thought about that being a possibility until recently, and it's good to have platonic friends with whom to discuss my life, including the romantic aspects of it, without worrying about what signals I'm sending or whatever.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 12-19-07 10:14 PM
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||

Do not ever buy anything from Freshpair.com. Your order will arrive stained and crushed and then they will expect you to pay the fucking return postage. Motherfuckers.

|>


Posted by: Becks | Link to this comment | 12-19-07 10:22 PM
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30

Stained?


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 12-19-07 10:24 PM
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31

You even buy underwear on the internet?


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 12-19-07 10:26 PM
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There is a HUGE grease stain across one of the bras I ordered. And the bras were all wadded up in the box, the molded cups crushed.

If they don't do something about this return postage, I'm going, well, postal.


Posted by: Becks | Link to this comment | 12-19-07 10:26 PM
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Is online dating really that weird?

Yes.


it's good to have platonic friends with whom to discuss my life, including the romantic aspects of it

Absolutely. The seven hundred conflicting opinions of random people on the internet can't compare to someone who actually knows you IRL and has a bit more context for your tales.


Posted by: Blume | Link to this comment | 12-19-07 10:27 PM
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31 - They discontinued the bra style I liked the best, I found a new one that I can live with but the store only had one in my size in stock so I went online to buy more.


Posted by: Becks | Link to this comment | 12-19-07 10:28 PM
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and has a lot of other stuff to deal with that's more important

I'm guessing you didn't impress upon her that 'more important' doesn't have to mean 'mutually exclusive.' Anyway, I know nothing about online dating, but if you're 24 and your prospective paramour is 18, you're not cradle-robbing. Not necessarily.


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 12-19-07 10:28 PM
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The seven hundred conflicting opinions of random people on the internet can't compare to someone who actually knows you IRL and has a bit more context for your tales.

Even if those random internet people are really good at writing satirical villanelles?

I know nothing about online dating, but if you're 24 and your prospective paramour is 18, you're not cradle-robbing. Not necessarily.

I'm 23, you know.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 12-19-07 10:30 PM
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37

I didn't mean that using online dating is weird, or that you're weird for doing it, teo. Just that IME, it's a strangely contextless way to meet people.


Posted by: Blume | Link to this comment | 12-19-07 10:31 PM
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38

I'm 23, you know.

I'd forgotten, young pup. Well then, Bob's your uncle.


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 12-19-07 10:31 PM
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I'm 23, you know.

I'd forgotten, young pup. Well then, Bob's your uncle.


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 12-19-07 10:31 PM
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40

Did you watch this, Teo?


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 12-19-07 10:32 PM
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36: Especially if those random internet people are really good at writing satirical villanelles.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 12-19-07 10:32 PM
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42

I hate it when that happens.


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 12-19-07 10:32 PM
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Just that IME, it's a strangely contextless way to meet people.

Yeah, I've found this too. It's not necessarily less pleasant than meeting people in real life, but it's a very different experience in ways that aren't immediately obvious when you start.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 12-19-07 10:32 PM
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The gap between 18 and 23 isn't big, numbers-wise, but it's pretty big in terms of experience. Not cradle robbing, but less likely to work out, perhaps.


Posted by: jms | Link to this comment | 12-19-07 10:33 PM
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40: Indeed I did. It was a little awkward.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 12-19-07 10:34 PM
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46

I'm just teasing, Teo. I thought it was a funny episode, but I was one of those girls. When I was 18, I dated a 23yo. When I was 19, I dated a 26yo. Of course, by 23, I was dating a 42yo, so YMMV.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 12-19-07 10:37 PM
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The gap between 18 and 23 isn't big, numbers-wise, but it's pretty big in terms of experience. Not cradle robbing, but less likely to work out, perhaps.

Yeah, this worries me. Interestingly, in my case the gap goes in different directions depending on whether you're looking at life experience in general or sexual experience specifically.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 12-19-07 10:37 PM
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48

Actually, Teo, my 23yo bf was a virgin, too, but he wasn't looking to lose it, to my constant dismay.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 12-19-07 10:37 PM
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49

When I was 18, I dated a 23yo.

How did that turn out?


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 12-19-07 10:38 PM
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48: Well your new 23yo bf will have no such qualms.


Posted by: Cryptic Ned | Link to this comment | 12-19-07 10:38 PM
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51

I guess 48 answers 49.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 12-19-07 10:38 PM
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49: Actually, it was fine. He was nice, and we had a good time together, and the age difference wasn't weird. He was a bit of an oddball, but I did really like him. It didn't work out in the long run, of course, but we dated for nine months.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 12-19-07 10:40 PM
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I'm mostly just a little perturbed because I've been thinking over my situation in my head for a while and telling myself that it's all pretty reasonable, but then when I was explaining it tonight at dinner it didn't seem quite so reasonable anymore.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 12-19-07 10:41 PM
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54

If you describe anything with enough specifics it starts to sound weird.


Posted by: Cryptic Ned | Link to this comment | 12-19-07 10:42 PM
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55

I suppose so.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 12-19-07 10:43 PM
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56

Someone should do research on the 1/2 + 7 rule and other evidence for a new intergenerational taboo, especially when there's evidence that an even stricter rule is felt by some (e.g. Teo here). Get an anthropologist on it pronto!

As for me, my allowable partners range from 37 years old to 108 years old, and I refuse to swear off the 109 year olds.

And no, I really don't any underage skeletons in my closet. But the intensity of feeling about this in a liberationist age will never cease to amaze me.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 12-19-07 10:44 PM
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I dunno. Younger women can be a little more forgiving of your personal foibles, which is a good thing. I'm not recommending actual pedophilia, but this doesn't count, esp if she's smart and interesting and has her own life. I think a lot of girls my 23yo bf's age wouldn't have considered him datable (he was extraordinarily weird) but I definitely did, and was glad for the experience.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 12-19-07 10:44 PM
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57: I guess I would just rather not think of myself as being that sort of guy. Maybe I am, though.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 12-19-07 10:49 PM
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59

What "sort of guy" do you worry you are? A pedophile or a weirdo? I highly doubt you're the former, and the latter is a given. You hang out online with people who write satirical political villanelles. Own it.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 12-19-07 10:51 PM
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56.1 Well 23 & 18 is actually right on the edge of the 1/2 + 7 rule.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 12-19-07 10:52 PM
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61

Dude, there are more and less mature 18-year-olds, just as there are more and less mature 23-year-olds. Some 18-year-olds even get married and start families. Don't get hung up on the number.


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 12-19-07 10:54 PM
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By "extraordinarily weird" I guess I mean weird in ways I found appealing. He dressed himself carefully and moved like Buster Keaton and got really excited about electronics, though he was a woodwind player of great ability. I don't mean bad weird, just... a little off-kilter, which at your age is tough for women your age to "get."


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 12-19-07 10:54 PM
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What "sort of guy" do you worry you are?

The sort of guy who isn't considered datable by a lot of girls my own age. What did your guy end up doing after you two broke up?


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 12-19-07 10:55 PM
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63: He moved to California and was very happy. I recently accidentally found him on Nerve while searching for our Bay-Area Unfoggers, so I guess he's single, but he's very good at filling his time with things he likes.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 12-19-07 10:57 PM
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Did you find any Bay Area Unfoggers? (!)


Posted by: jms | Link to this comment | 12-19-07 10:58 PM
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On the other hand, maybe the 1/2 + 7 is utter crap. There are all kinds of things that can be wrong with an age-mismatched relationship, but I don't think that an arithmetical algorithm helps much. I am biased, of course, because I am opposed to every relationship whatsoever, but it seems to me that pro-relationship people should rethink these age rules.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 12-19-07 10:59 PM
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The sort of guy who isn't considered datable by a lot of girls my own age.

What's so bad about this? I'm the sort of woman who's considered undatable by almost all men my age. Guys my age think I'm totally gross. But some younger and older guys like me, and I'm fine with that.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 12-19-07 10:59 PM
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Dude, there are more and less mature 18-year-olds, just as there are more and less mature 23-year-olds.

True enough.

Some 18-year-olds even get married and start families.

Not these ones.

Don't get hung up on the number.

It's not the number I'm really hung up about, it's more that these girls are in situations quite typical of middle-class 18-year-olds (high school senior living at home, college freshman), which are pretty different from my own situation. I'd prefer to find someone I have more in common with (living on their own, full-time job, etc.). If I found such a person who happened to be 18, I wouldn't be so concerned.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 12-19-07 11:00 PM
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What's so bad about this?

Well, it's not normal. It's hard for some people to accept not being normal.

I'm really glad I'm not gay. I don't have the kind of personality that would take turning out to be gay as anything less than a huge inconvenience that would complicate everything I do. Some people have less ability than other people to ignore outside opinions.


Posted by: Cryptic Ned | Link to this comment | 12-19-07 11:02 PM
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Well, it's not normal. It's hard for some people to accept not being normal.

Right. I'm different enough from most other people that I try to keep from adding any more differences.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 12-19-07 11:03 PM
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It's hard for some people to accept not being normal.

I guess I think this is a pretty self-defeating mindset. If you're weird, and you're trying to act "normal," you're fucked, because people can smell weird from a mile off. But if you just give in to it, it can be really attractive. That's what I liked about this guy I dated; he was 100% kooky, and he was fine with that.

OTOH, I've had only tragic interactions with weird guys who are trying to fit into their corporate law paradigm or whatever. They're into me and we have a good time, but then suddenly get all paranoid about what their corporate friends would think about me, and then they dump me very suddenly.

It's like fat women. Fat women who can acknowledge the body they have, and stop trying to trick the world into thinking they're skinny, can be hot to a lot of people. But fat women who are constantly trying to get or pretend to be slimmer than they are can get into a cycle of self-loathing that is not only troublesome for themselves, but also for potential dates.

I spent years trying to just decide that it's okay that I'm the shape I am, and that it's okay that I am the person I am, so I know it's hard, because the temptation to look like everyone else and act like them and be "normal" is so strong. But it's elusive, and eventually a losing battle.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 12-19-07 11:09 PM
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If you're weird, and you're trying to act "normal," you're fucked, because people can smell weird from a mile off.

Perhaps, but I'm not really convinced that I, personally, am "weird" in this way; I think most of my problems with dating have stemmed from my own difficulties in sending and interpreting signals rather than some sort of "weird! run!" reaction to me in the girls. And, I mean, people of a given age don't necessarily have anything in common, especially as you get into higher age ranges. Aren't there any weird 23-year-old girls who are into weird 23-year-old guys?


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 12-19-07 11:15 PM
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A big part of my hangup about age specifically is that I'm very concerned about being perceived (by myself and others) as a mature adult, and I want to avoid anything that might call that into question, either as perception or reality.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 12-19-07 11:20 PM
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I'm going to bed. Thanks for talking this over with me, guys; I think it's been pretty helpful in clarifying my feelings.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 12-19-07 11:21 PM
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75

"Weird" comes in many flavors, dearest Teo. All I'm saying is, dating someone you don't have to change yourself for is good, and if that person is 18 or 42, there's no reason to discriminate against them, unless you happen to find older or younger people unattractive to you. If you're not attracted to young women, then the age difference matters. If the problem is that you don't like them personally, you don't have to date them, either. But if you like the girl, and you have a nice time, and you're attracted to her, who cares if she's 18? You don't have to marry her. If you only want to date women exactly your age, you're narrowing the field rather arbitrarily. If I only dated people my age, I would never have had a date in my life, at least since my freshman year of high school, and I had to trick him.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 12-19-07 11:22 PM
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76

Being a mature adult is overrated.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 12-19-07 11:23 PM
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77

Plus, it doesn't matter who you date; your mom will still treat you like an infant. Forever.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 12-19-07 11:24 PM
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78

It's completely normal for a 23 year old to date an 18 year old and anyone who thinks otherwise is a creepy pervert who should be required to register at the police department and wear one of those ankle bracelets.

Normality is a feeble concept at best, but in this case normality is being developed in a horribly sick direction.

And many of the people who object to guys dating younger women are exactly the same people who insist that they are young women and not girls. WTF?

Tomorrow I'm off to St. Mary's to check out the girls smoking after school. Foolproof! They're the ones who were sent there because they were loose.

This is so crazy.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 12-19-07 11:25 PM
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Unfoggers

I guess this is OK for the folks in the SF Bay Area, but if there's a vote I favor Unfogies.


Posted by: md 20/400 | Link to this comment | 12-20-07 12:20 AM
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As Emerson and AWB have said, 18 - 23 isn't a strange age-gap.

Dating someone still in high-school would, admittedly, seem strange, I suspect, but dating a college freshman, when you've just graduated yourself? What's odd about that?

When I was 17 (and 18) I had girlfriends who were 6 and 7 years older than me and I'm married to someone 7 years younger. Unless you are in some situation where it would be inappropriate to go out [when they are your student, or whatever], 5, 6 or 7 years is nothing.


Posted by: nattarGcM ttaM | Link to this comment | 12-20-07 12:37 AM
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very concerned about being perceived (by myself and others) as a mature adult

Why the hangup? Either you're a mature adult or you're not, and perceptions aren't going to do a damn thing to change that.

Anyway, you should be fine with anyone technically legal at your age. 24 would be my limit to date an 18 year old, but that's just me. I've been in good relationships that blow that rule all to hell, and I'm currently shamelessly crushing on a fucking 20-year old, so disregard me if convenient.


Posted by: foolishmortal | Link to this comment | 12-20-07 12:54 AM
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71 is a great comment.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 12-20-07 1:04 AM
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83

Yet somehow the attitude it endorses doesn't help you get sex. Mysterious paradox.


Posted by: foolishmortal | Link to this comment | 12-20-07 1:13 AM
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And changing the conversation slightly from dating: I come bearing the earth-shattering news that breakups still suck.

I wish I hadn't made so much fun of my first love when she talked about how hard it was to be the person who initiates the breakup. I've learned since then just how right she is. Better to be the dumpee under almost any circumstances.

These holidays are gonna be pretty crappy.


Posted by: Po-Mo Polymath | Link to this comment | 12-20-07 2:48 AM
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Condolences, pomo. Shitty timing.


Posted by: OneFatEnglishman | Link to this comment | 12-20-07 4:21 AM
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I'm so sorry, Pomo.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 12-20-07 6:08 AM
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Yeah, breakups suck. Sorry, Po-Mo.


Posted by: m. leblanc | Link to this comment | 12-20-07 6:32 AM
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Yeah, 18 to 23 doesn't strike me as much of a gap at all. That's the difference between my father's and mother's ages and about when they dated, and the late '50s high-school senior women would brag if they were dating a guy in college.

Try it, you might like it. If not, try someone else.


Posted by: Biohazard | Link to this comment | 12-20-07 6:34 AM
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Yeah, breakups are teh suck and never more so than at the holidays. Avoid the malls.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 12-20-07 6:55 AM
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It may not be a maturity gap, which is in my experience greatly complicated by unusual intellectual breadth or curiosity, so much as a "readiness" gap, which makes this natural for me. I've been 4 to 6 years older than everyone I've ever had a relationship with.

In high school and much of college, I'd have mismatched nearly everyone I came in contact with by being a combination of intellectually developed, even precocious, and not put together enough for a relationship. The latter was a far more important factor. It's easy to see in retrospect, but at the time I didn't know what was going on and if I was missing something. Had I been in student housing or living by myself I'd have probably, but not necessarily had a different timetable, but wouldn't have been able to pay my own way the way I was.

I think not moving out of the house was a way of not forcing my development. I'd already been in the Army so that I didn't have any doubts, nor did anyone else, about my ability to function independently.


Posted by: I don't pay | Link to this comment | 12-20-07 6:56 AM
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18 to 23 doesn't strike me as much of a gap at all

5 years isn't much of a gap, but THAT five year gap is a pretty stark one (thinking of my 18-yo self vs. my 23-yo self).


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 12-20-07 6:57 AM
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That sucks Po-Mo. Hopefully the holidays are also a time that you get to surround yourself with people who will help you forget how shitty a fresh break-up is.


Posted by: Di Kotimy | Link to this comment | 12-20-07 7:01 AM
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re: 91

Depends on the person, doesn't it? I couldn't have imagined dating someone still in high-school when I was 23. But someone 18 and working or at college? No problem.

[As it happened, at that age, I tended to date the other way with most of my girlfriends a year or tow older, but that was chance more than design.]


Posted by: nattarGcM ttaM | Link to this comment | 12-20-07 7:04 AM
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When I started dating my wife neither of us knew the age of the other, and relied instead on some assumptions that turned out to be a bit faulty.


Posted by: Gonerill | Link to this comment | 12-20-07 7:19 AM
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91: You might have matured some between 18 and 23, I didn't. I mainly waited to be drafted, sent to Vietnam, and killed. As it turned out, that didn't happen.


Posted by: Biohazard | Link to this comment | 12-20-07 7:21 AM
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I don't think the age gap itself might be a problem, and I wouldn't call it a maturity gap, but a 'where you are in your life' gap could be a problem. You're not cradle-robbing, but you might both be looking for different things.

I dated a guy who was going on 22 when I was 18. Nice guy. He and I didn't work out because by the time I was almost 21, he was 25 and ready to talk about getting married and I wasn't. It sucked, but no one died. We're still friends; he's married now and came to my wedding.

But that can happen no matter how carefully you screen the other person for what stage they are in (after college, first apartment, etc.), especially once you're a couple more years out of school and everyone starts moving to their own sense of when things should happen for them *and it's not a reason not to start dating someone you like.

*Lots of friends have had breakups not because the other person turned out to be a troll but because one person was ready to settle down (whether that's living together or marriage) and the other wasn't ready.


Posted by: Cala | Link to this comment | 12-20-07 7:37 AM
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Lots of friends have had breakups not because the other person turned out to be a troll

I like to think of most of my relationships as a kind of trolling.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 12-20-07 7:40 AM
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I like to think of most of my relationships as a kind of trolling.

For me it's the other way around.


Posted by: Gonerill | Link to this comment | 12-20-07 7:45 AM
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When I was 17 I was dating a guy who was 22 (who was also the son of my jr. high school principal, which was very weird). Almost every relationship I've had has been with someone older than I was at the time and every relationship I had with someone older than I was turned out to be a better relationship than the scattering of men I dated who were younger than I was. You've already gotten excellent advice not to worry so much about the gap between 18 and 23; I'm going to point out that maybe you should try dating a woman significantly older than yourself? I'm quite sincere in this and I'm not trying to snarkily inject you into the lyrics of Mrs. Robinson or anything.

If your concerns are for the experience gap and being forced into a dating situation that makes you feel like less of an adult due to your partner's interests and lifestyle then I suggest you confront those head-on. Dating someone significantly older than yourself would do away with any perceived personal experience gap by subsuming it into an overall expected and acknowledged experience gap due to age and you might find yourself in the company of a woman who treats you as an adult because she's already quite accustomed to being surrounded by adults.


Posted by: Robust McManlyPants | Link to this comment | 12-20-07 7:52 AM
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98: A month in, they suddenly get up from dinner and go "YHBT! HAND!" and walk out?


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 12-20-07 7:55 AM
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maybe you should try dating a woman significantly older than yourself?

This has been suggested to Teo before, but old ladies gross him out.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 12-20-07 7:57 AM
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102

old ladies gross him out.

Well, there go my plans for a clever UnfoggeDCon disguise.


Posted by: Robust McManlyPants | Link to this comment | 12-20-07 8:02 AM
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103

To be fair, I think what he said was something about how age-different relationships make him queasy, especially older-woman ones.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 12-20-07 8:04 AM
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104

old ladies gross him out

All the more for me.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 12-20-07 8:05 AM
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105

An OT bleg: In a recent comment, someone noted a wireless service alternative to Verizon etc. I have to drop Verizon, and am looking for a new direction. Can someone point me to that comment?

Does anyone have a recommendation?


Posted by: Nápi | Link to this comment | 12-20-07 8:06 AM
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106

Credo. Used to be Working Assets.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 12-20-07 8:09 AM
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107

104: there's plenty of teo to go around, apo.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 12-20-07 8:18 AM
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108

Thanks.


Posted by: Nápi | Link to this comment | 12-20-07 8:18 AM
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108: Not vouching for their service, since I don't own a cell phone, but I think that was the company that was mentioned.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 12-20-07 8:22 AM
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107 tickled me. I hope I don't think about that during the exam I'm giving today. I have terrible laughing fits at serious times.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 12-20-07 8:23 AM
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As far as older vs. younger goes, I find this

Younger women can be a little more forgiving of your personal foibles, which is a good thing.

the exact opposit of me. 20-year-old me? No tolerance for 'foibles' whatsoever. Necessity of pure coolness. Whereas 30-year-old me is pretty darned tolerant of 'foibles'. But much less tolerant of general male assholishness.


Posted by: Blume | Link to this comment | 12-20-07 10:06 AM
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Starting her junior year the most attractive, smartest woman in my son's high school exclusively dated college guys (maybe one college guy). She had plans for her life and was getting out in the world (and escaping the stupid HS scene) early. My guess is that there was no down side for her at all.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 12-20-07 10:11 AM
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Thanks for the continued advice. To clarify, the older-woman thing (which I think I'm mostly over at this point) is basically the same as the younger-woman thing; it's a matter of wanting to date someone in a roughly similar life situation to mine. When I was in college, I only wanted to date other college students, and wouldn't have wanted to date someone who was living on her own and working full-time, even if she was the same age as me. Now, it's the college students I'm wary of dating. Different lifestyles, different outlooks.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 12-20-07 10:21 AM
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