Re: My sure and certain hope

1

And for his accomplishments in the playoffs, Randy Moss will be remembered as the greatest decoy in the history of football.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 01-14-08 7:23 AM
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Romo is thinking Cancun (and Jessica) was worth it. This I believe.


Posted by: asl | Link to this comment | 01-14-08 7:37 AM
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You'll note that the teams that took the last week of the regular season off are doing quite poorly in the playoffs.

The Cowboys and Colts were particularly egregious cases, lying down in games that had playoff implications. The formerly hapless Giants, meanwhile, kicked ass in a "meaningless" final regular-season game and are now in the NFC title game. The football gods are harsh, but ultimately just.


Posted by: politicalfootball | Link to this comment | 01-14-08 7:42 AM
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Hmm, interesting point, PF. I still heart Tony Romo, though.


Posted by: FL | Link to this comment | 01-14-08 7:51 AM
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3: I like that you define "kicked ass" as "hung in there for a while with the pats".

As to the topic of the post, boy, that Superbowl matchup would make the overanalyzers wet themselves. Gotta feel like it'd be a tough road for Green Bay, though.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 01-14-08 7:53 AM
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For Fontana Labs all of life boils down to OSU-Michigan.


Posted by: peep | Link to this comment | 01-14-08 7:54 AM
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I predict that the Superbowl will be on my 30th birthday.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 01-14-08 7:56 AM
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Sifu, you're not going to pull some crazy pro-New England bullshit in our comments section are you?


Posted by: FL | Link to this comment | 01-14-08 7:59 AM
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8: I got your back Tweety, troll away.


Posted by: Knecht Ruprecht | Link to this comment | 01-14-08 8:01 AM
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I like that you define "kicked ass" as "hung in there for a while with the pats".

I watched the game with a Pats fan and Jax fan in the crowd. The Jax stated at the beginning of the game that staying within 25 points (how much they lost by during the regular season) was a "win" and beating the spread would be an "outstanding success".


Posted by: mike d | Link to this comment | 01-14-08 8:08 AM
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7- Sly.


Posted by: asl | Link to this comment | 01-14-08 8:09 AM
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8: I am merely trying to objectively analyze the situation. I feel no need to defend it hometown team from scurrilous accusations that they are somehow not the greatest in the history of the league.

I will say, as far as blitzing Brady goes, opposing defenses would do well to insist he be blindfolded before they try it.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 01-14-08 8:13 AM
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The sportswriters are obviously praying for a Brady-Manning storyline. The Fox sports person tried to get Eli to talk smack about his brother in on-field interview after the game, but he didn't take the bait.


Posted by: SP | Link to this comment | 01-14-08 8:18 AM
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I don't want Brady to lose so much as I want him to suffer, Sifu.


Posted by: FL | Link to this comment | 01-14-08 8:22 AM
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13: that or Favre; either way the utterly pointless storylime pieces practically write themselves. I for one am hoping to see one or the other plucky underdog get hammered in a completely unseemly fashion.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 01-14-08 8:23 AM
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Again, maybe this is obvious to everyone else....but did Fontana record this message for NPR? Are they going to play it on the air?


Posted by: peep | Link to this comment | 01-14-08 8:26 AM
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I'm rooting for New England, too. Haters, haters everywhere I look.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 01-14-08 8:27 AM
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14: I'm sure his life has the odd minor annoyance. Is that helpful?


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 01-14-08 8:28 AM
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6: For Fontana Labs all of life boils down to OSU-Michigan.

But unfortunately OSU v SEC comes first.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 01-14-08 8:30 AM
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(*blows whistle*) Timeout!

I ran into the girl that Mike D brought to UnfoggeDCon (who we all loved) again this weekend. We were trying to place each other for a second and then I was like "Oh yeah! You were at my house a couple of weeks ago for our Internet party." She was like "Right! Yeah, Mike said he doesn't comment or really even read the site. He just knows you from around New York."

Mike D: Being a nice person, I nodded and agreed but filed away that I needed to tease you mercilessly about it.


Posted by: Becks | Link to this comment | 01-14-08 8:35 AM
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19: No, for old-timer hardcore OSU fans the Michigan game is the alpha and the omega.


Posted by: peep | Link to this comment | 01-14-08 8:35 AM
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20.---Hah. Oh, Mike D, you're so toast.


Posted by: Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 01-14-08 8:40 AM
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Also, this is how meticulous I am/how much my short term memory is shot: I put "Mock mike d" on my To Do list.

I can feel proud that I crossed at least one thing off of it today.


Posted by: Becks | Link to this comment | 01-14-08 8:40 AM
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My sure and certain hope is that every member of the Patriots' team and management develop acute bone-itis and in fact die.


Posted by: Robust McManlyPants | Link to this comment | 01-14-08 8:42 AM
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What the hell does the Securities and Exchange Commission have to do with this? There's no "SEC" in college football. I don't know what you're talking about.

24: and here I was wondering whether it's too much to ask for Brady's head on a stick.


Posted by: FL | Link to this comment | 01-14-08 8:46 AM
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You will not count me among the surprised when it is revealed that Bill Belichick introduced Tony Romo to Jessica Simpson, that devious Delilah!


Posted by: Armsmasher | Link to this comment | 01-14-08 8:48 AM
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Don't hate Tom Brady because he's beautiful.

The NE haters are just bitter because they damn well know that prayer is not going to help them.


Posted by: gswift | Link to this comment | 01-14-08 8:49 AM
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25: Only too much to ask in that it's selfish. If you ask that it be paraded in public that's fine; just don't ask to have it all to yourself.


Posted by: Robust McManlyPants | Link to this comment | 01-14-08 8:49 AM
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You will not count me among the surprised when it is revealed that Bill Belichick introduced Tony Romo to Jessica Simpson, that devious Delilah!

Doubt it. Nobody fears the Cowboys anymore, Smasher. And I'd love it if Favre lost to Eli ("Eli" is such a great Children of the Corn name).


Posted by: SomeCallMeTim | Link to this comment | 01-14-08 8:51 AM
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20: I'm shocked, shocked to find commenting going on at this website.


Posted by: mike d | Link to this comment | 01-14-08 8:54 AM
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So is Tom Brady Harrison Bergeron, or what?


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 01-14-08 8:54 AM
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Yes; it's not so much that I'm asking for the head on a stick for myself, but that I want the head to be on a stick for all to see.

That smug fuck. I'm getting angry just thinking about it. Can't we talk about teh sexism or childrearing or some other lighthearted topic?


Posted by: FL | Link to this comment | 01-14-08 8:55 AM
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Nobody fears your face, Timbot. But Dallas stands to be a markedly worse team if Jerry Jones has in fact driven Jason Garrett into the waiting arms of the Baltimore Ravens.

Doesn't the narrative require that Favre/Green Bay, not Eli/Giants, play Brady/Pats? There's plenty of years to milk the Manning sibling rivalry; at the end of this postseason, Favre's pact with the devil is up, and all his joints turn back into dust.


Posted by: Armsmasher | Link to this comment | 01-14-08 8:56 AM
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I'm not sure if I've mentioned this here before, but a few weeks ago I stopped off at a sports bar kind of place for a quick bite of lunch on a Sunday afternoon. An ad came on whatever network most of the TVs were set to for the purposes of football watching; the ad in question featured Favre looking earnest about something and I overheard two men near me talking about it.

One: "Do you like Favre?"
The Other, after long deliberation: "I respect his Americanism."

They were extremely large, intense men and so I didn't work up the nerve to ask them what the hell that meant.


Posted by: Robust McManlyPants | Link to this comment | 01-14-08 8:57 AM
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I used to be of the opinion that Tom Brady was overrated as a QB, and that he didn't deserve the MVP award in Superbowl XXXVI (he had a great fourth quarter, but he sucked wind for the first three quarters while Ty Law kept the Pats in the game).

But one day, as I was on the road to the Damascus Felafel and Schwarma stand, I was struck by a blinding light, and a vision appeared to me, and I let the holy spirit of Tom Brady into my heart. Since then, I have known the peace that only He can give.


Posted by: Knecht Ruprecht | Link to this comment | 01-14-08 8:57 AM
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NE is awesome. I would root against them were they playing the Steelers, but since the Steelers developed extreme pocket collapse this year, they won't be so wooooo! New England.


Posted by: Cala | Link to this comment | 01-14-08 8:59 AM
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34: I simultaneously believe that's exactly right and that I have no idea what it means.


Posted by: FL | Link to this comment | 01-14-08 9:00 AM
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Nobody fears your face, Timbot.

Yeah, that's not the end you need to worry about.


Posted by: SomeCallMeTim | Link to this comment | 01-14-08 9:02 AM
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See, Cala's accepted the Patriots prosperity gospel. If you HATE
success, how can you HAVE success, brothers and sisters?


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 01-14-08 9:03 AM
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32: He really does have the air of an walking, talking Chick tract, doesn't he? He's like the embodiment of that moment in Drop Dead Gorgeous when she says, "Jesus loves winners."


Posted by: Robust McManlyPants | Link to this comment | 01-14-08 9:03 AM
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Doesn't the narrative require that Favre/Green Bay, not Eli/Giants, play Brady/Pats?

Maybe, but I've come to hate Favre. Actually, that's not right. I hate the people who love Favre. Talk about smug fucks.


Posted by: SomeCallMeTim | Link to this comment | 01-14-08 9:03 AM
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She was like "Right! Yeah, Mike said he doesn't comment or really even read the site. He just knows you from around New York."

This is fantastic. O, how many lies are people telling about their time here?


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 01-14-08 9:04 AM
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42: You start.


Posted by: SomeCallMeTim | Link to this comment | 01-14-08 9:06 AM
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I strongly dislike Brady and the Patriots, but this year's Pats are the best team in the NFL in a long, long time. When your team weakness is that 1) you might score too fast and 2) your linebackers are a little bit slow (but incredibly football-smart), you're basically a perfect team.


Posted by: Klug | Link to this comment | 01-14-08 9:06 AM
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O, how many lies are people telling about their time here?

I'll ask my timesheet.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 01-14-08 9:06 AM
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I want Brett Farve to eat the still-beating heart of Tom Brady on live television, then magically appear in the next commercial and do the same to Peyton Manning, all before winning the game and ascending to Valhalla. Favre is old, probably senile, hard to spell, and completely amazing. I really want to see him throw desperate passes against New England.


Posted by: Armsmasher | Link to this comment | 01-14-08 9:09 AM
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Favre is likable.


Posted by: politicalfootball | Link to this comment | 01-14-08 9:11 AM
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. Favre is old, probably senile, hard to spell, and completely amazing

I don't care what your mom told you, he's not your daddy. I don't know if I can take two weeks of "Magic Favre, Avatar of All That Is Right" stories.


Posted by: SomeCallMeTim | Link to this comment | 01-14-08 9:12 AM
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47: Yep, that is why it is right that the right-thinking hate him.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 01-14-08 9:13 AM
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I like Favre, but he must be destroyed for the greater good.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 01-14-08 9:13 AM
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I used to be of the opinion that Tom Brady was overrated as a QB

I dunno about previous seasons, but he is freaky good in clutch situations this year (with a little help from officials on a couple occasions, admittedly, but he didn't need much).

Of course it helps that he has an offensive line that, as far as I can tell, is composed of 5 white Sherman tanks with mullets. Everytime I see Brady hop 3-4 yards back into the Pats' end zone and sit there for a few minutes while waiting for Moss to do a couple laps of the field while Stallworth and Welker take a water break, I start thinking that the Pats should at least put their kicker into the offensive line for a couple snaps, just to make things interesting.


Posted by: Po-Mo Polymath | Link to this comment | 01-14-08 9:15 AM
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One of these years the NFL should hold the Super Bowl at Lambeau. At night if they insist. Enough of this warm weather/dome BS.

I like both the Packers and the Patriots. It seems that the only time I get passionate about the Super Bowl is when there are Cowboys to be rooted against. Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be Cardinals fans.


Posted by: Mo MacArbie | Link to this comment | 01-14-08 9:16 AM
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Doesn't the narrative require that Favre/Green Bay, not Eli/Giants, play Brady/Pats?

That's one narrative, but I prefer the one I laid out in 3 - plucky, can-do Giants refuse to lay down and are rewarded with Super Bowl rings.

In truth, though, now that the football gods have exacted revenge on the Browns-killing Colts, Titans and Steelers (not to mention the Browns-killing Browns), I am without a team to hate in these playoffs, and would be content with any potential Super Bowl combination.


Posted by: politicalfootball | Link to this comment | 01-14-08 9:17 AM
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I don't know if I can take two weeks of "Magic Favre, Avatar of All That Is Right" stories.

By contrast, the upcoming Patriots championship will inspire only measured praise.


Posted by: Gabriel | Link to this comment | 01-14-08 9:17 AM
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I like Favre, but he must be destroyed for the greater good.

You people all misunderstand the narrative here. New England is the Death Star. Green Bay is the Rebel Alliance.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 01-14-08 9:17 AM
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Michigan and OSU are competing for "the next Vince Young".

Michigan's new coach uses a spread offense. Their freshman QB has already transferred.


Posted by: Michael Vanderwheel, B.A. | Link to this comment | 01-14-08 9:18 AM
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God I hope it's Green Bay vs. New England. Nothing sweetens a Pats victory like Armsmashers big womanly tears.


Posted by: gswift | Link to this comment | 01-14-08 9:19 AM
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And sometimes you don't want to root for the whiny fucks that need to go to Tashi Station to pick up some power converters.


Posted by: Cala | Link to this comment | 01-14-08 9:20 AM
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I don't know if I can take two weeks of "Magic Favre, Avatar of All That Is Right" stories.

Better than the years of endorsements we'll get if Manning wins, or god forbid co-endorsements by the Manning brothers. Or the fawning over the Pats until the final collapse of American empire.


Posted by: Armsmasher | Link to this comment | 01-14-08 9:21 AM
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I don't know if I can take two weeks of "Magic Favre, Avatar of All That Is Right" stories.

Better than the years of endorsements we'll get if Manning wins, or god forbid co-endorsements by the Manning brothers. Or the fawning over the Pats until the final collapse of American empire.


Posted by: Armsmasher | Link to this comment | 01-14-08 9:21 AM
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Why is New England the Death Star? Why do Americans hate teams for being good? Why is apo a hater? I never loved really UNC anyway.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 01-14-08 9:21 AM
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Why do Americans hate teams for being good?

Because every year there is 1 champion and 31 other teams.


Posted by: Mo MacArbie | Link to this comment | 01-14-08 9:24 AM
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In truth, though, now that the football gods have exacted revenge on the Browns-killing Colts, Titans and Steelers (not to mention the Browns-killing Browns)

Are we brothers in loving/hating the Browns, PF? At UnfoggeDCon I said to Sifu, "I'm a Browns fan, so I kind of hate football."


Posted by: Robust McManlyPants | Link to this comment | 01-14-08 9:25 AM
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Anyhow, I'm just want it to get over with already so everybody will go ahead and focus on the team God wants you to cheer (be sure to get to the dancing ~1 minute in).


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 01-14-08 9:25 AM
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For the record, I hate the Pats not for being good but because of a long history in which the franchise continually smites my own beloived Steelers in the playoffs. I further hate Brady because he ran out on the girl he impregnated to start dating the supermodel.

But i love Brett, and I love his Americanism. I can't possibly overstate how happy it made me to watch that Green Bay white-out victory. I was there, snuggled on my couch, feeling so warm and fuzzy and earnestly Americanly happy. I feel satisfied just thinking about it.


Posted by: Sybil Vane | Link to this comment | 01-14-08 9:25 AM
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OT: We just received another letter from my mom's ex-boy-friend (before my dad), thw 93-year-old bungee jumper.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 01-14-08 9:26 AM
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I also love Yahoo today. All morning front and center on Yahoo is a pic of Manning's sweaty mug next to the title "Can't win the big one...again".


Posted by: gswift | Link to this comment | 01-14-08 9:27 AM
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I never loved really UNC anyway.

That's going directly into your government file, Shi'a.


Posted by: SomeCallMeTim | Link to this comment | 01-14-08 9:27 AM
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Why is New England the Death Star?

Did you even see the movie, Ogged?


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 01-14-08 9:28 AM
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59: Hatred is Fawning. Losing is Winning. Freedom is Slavery.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 01-14-08 9:28 AM
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I would normally hate the Pats like poison, but Randy Moss! Randy Moss! Randy Moss! You have to prioritize your irrational obsessions.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 01-14-08 9:29 AM
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He didn't get back together with the supermodel he'd already broken up with, rather. It's not like we're talking about him ditching his churchgoing HS sweetheart, here.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 01-14-08 9:31 AM
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72 to 65.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 01-14-08 9:33 AM
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The Empire was bad, man; what have the Pats done other than be good (the videotaping doesn't count)?

But i love Brett, and I love his Americanism. I can't possibly overstate how happy it made me to watch that Green Bay white-out victory. I was there, snuggled on my couch, feeling so warm and fuzzy and earnestly Americanly happy. I feel satisfied just thinking about it.

Crush on Sybil Vane: extinguished.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 01-14-08 9:33 AM
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Finally, I submit this piece of damning evidence: by Rush's own admission, Brady and Limbaugh golf together in the off season and exchange emails throughout the season.


Posted by: Sybil Vane | Link to this comment | 01-14-08 9:33 AM
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Can't hear you, Sybil.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 01-14-08 9:34 AM
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but i sometimes get this same warm fuzzy satisfaction while watching the US Open (tennis) - is that redemptive at all?


Posted by: Sybil Vane | Link to this comment | 01-14-08 9:34 AM
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I get my warm fuzzies from the US curling team in the Olympics.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 01-14-08 9:35 AM
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74: that's what I love about this; people specifically hate the Patriots for being better at what they do than anyone else. Harrison Bergeron, man.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 01-14-08 9:35 AM
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75: Nooooo!!!


Posted by: Po-Mo Polymath | Link to this comment | 01-14-08 9:35 AM
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golfing with Limbaugh is evil, and running up the score VALENCES toward evil.


Posted by: Sybil Vane | Link to this comment | 01-14-08 9:36 AM
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I further hate Brady because he ran out on the girl he impregnated to start dating the supermodel.

I think the moral fault lies elsewhere. You can't selfishly demand that one person be given a monopoly on the Brady genetic material. Though I do kind of love Moneghan (sp).

The Empire was bad, man

Sure, if you consider a well-ordered universe bad.


Posted by: SomeCallMeTim | Link to this comment | 01-14-08 9:38 AM
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Rush is just using him for the solid Oxy hookup all football players have.


Posted by: Mo MacArbie | Link to this comment | 01-14-08 9:40 AM
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running up the score VALENCES toward evil

You can't hurt me more than you already have, Sybil.

Sure, if you consider a well-ordered universe bad.

I admit: I rooted for Vader as a kid. Was it supposed to be obvious that we were supposed to root for the whiny brat and not the dude with the awesome cape?


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 01-14-08 9:40 AM
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The Empire was bad, man

Good and bad aren't important here, Ogged. The Empire was all-powerful. In an era of parity, NE has been in 5 of the last 7 AFC championship games (including this year's), losing only once. Meanwhile, Green Bay was lucky to finish 8-8 last year, Favre looked washed up, and they made no off-season moves that looked like it would address any of that.

I am, however, thankful to this year's NE team for finally sparing us having to hear about the '72 Dolphins every damn season.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 01-14-08 9:40 AM
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75: To pile on, I suspect many Patriots supporters are fond of the team's higher-than-average whiteness.


Posted by: Klug | Link to this comment | 01-14-08 9:41 AM
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stopped dating one supermodel, started dating another, whatever. One knows the break-up with the initial girlfreind was bad because we later saw her ont he cover of People with her baby and the headline "Life Without Daddy." I took this as license to believe Brady can't be bothered to channel any money her way.


Posted by: Sybil Vane | Link to this comment | 01-14-08 9:41 AM
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I rooted for Vader as a kid

I rest my case.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 01-14-08 9:41 AM
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In an era of parity, NE has been in 5 of the last 7 AFC championship games

So you really do hate them for being good?


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 01-14-08 9:42 AM
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i can't understand why you begrudge me happiness, ogged. warm American happiness.


Posted by: Sybil Vane | Link to this comment | 01-14-08 9:43 AM
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, I suspect many Patriots supporters are fond of the team's higher-than-average whiteness.

Hard to believe. They seem to love Randy Moss.


Posted by: SomeCallMeTim | Link to this comment | 01-14-08 9:44 AM
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Why is New England the Death Star? Why do Americans hate teams for being good?

I hate New England because I have to live here. I would hate the Patriots if they were 0-16, merely because Boston fans love them.

Their record does make them more more hateable, but only because it makes aforesaid Boston fans even worse.

That, and they beat my Bolts last year.


Posted by: Trevor | Link to this comment | 01-14-08 9:45 AM
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Warm fuzzies for Favre might have been acceptable in a more innocent time, but the aw shucks good ol' boy that you just can't stay mad at is the mythical figure that keeps Americans from engaging in meaningful self-critique. Every time you have a warm fuzzy for Brett Favre, an Iraqi kid loses a limb.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 01-14-08 9:46 AM
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So you really do hate them for being good?

I don't hate the Patriots. I don't have any strong feelings about the NFL once the fantasy season ends and the Panthers get eliminated. That said, given the Red Sox and the Celtics, I'd like to see the football trophy go elsewhere.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 01-14-08 9:48 AM
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every time Brady completes a pass, some above-the-rules American soldier stomps on someone's face.


Posted by: Sybil Vane | Link to this comment | 01-14-08 9:48 AM
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For the record, I had trouble really embracing Boston sports fandom until I left the state, because it can be a little much living here. Happy to be part of the problem now though.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 01-14-08 9:48 AM
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85: Don't you have to root for the Pats to win it all to shut the Fish up?


Posted by: Mo MacArbie | Link to this comment | 01-14-08 9:49 AM
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Moss is a token. Note that they barely threw to him in the first playoff game. "Andybody but Randy" was their rule. About 12 people had receptions or carries.

No justice, man.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 01-14-08 9:49 AM
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Every time you have a warm fuzzy for Brett Favre, an Iraqi kid loses a limb.

vs.

every time Brady completes a pass, some above-the-rules American soldier stomps on someone's face.

Seems like an easy choice.


Posted by: SomeCallMeTim | Link to this comment | 01-14-08 9:50 AM
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It is strange to find myself rooting for the Patriots, since Boston sports fandom really is over the top and has been not a little racist. But I like teams and players who are really, really good.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 01-14-08 9:51 AM
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But I like teams and players who are really, really good.

This is "But the seats on the bandwagon are so comfortable," no?


Posted by: SomeCallMeTim | Link to this comment | 01-14-08 9:53 AM
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I personally am not sure that our democracy can survive a "Brett Favre stops the perfect season with a 4th Quarter TD drive with the score coming on an off-the-back-foot heave on 4th and 13" scenario.

Why do Packers supporters hate America?


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 01-14-08 9:53 AM
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This is "But the seats on the bandwagon are so comfortable," no?

It has the same effect, but my reasons are much more admirable.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 01-14-08 9:54 AM
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Don't you have to root for the Pats to win it all to shut the Fish up?

Have you seen a Miami sporting event lately? There *aren't* enough Dolphins fans to be obnoxious, or even noticeable.


Posted by: Gabriel | Link to this comment | 01-14-08 9:54 AM
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that is a totally bullshit narrative that you are foisting on Brett, btw, and you are exploiting that fact that he is southern to do it. There is not reason that Peyton or Brady are not just as emblematic of the flaws in the American self-image.


Posted by: Sybil Vane | Link to this comment | 01-14-08 9:54 AM
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I like teams and players who are really, really good

Ogged: objectively pro-Yankees.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 01-14-08 9:55 AM
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Also, Brett's wife is a breast cancer survivor who works to raise money/awareness on the issue and Brady is fucking a goddamned supermodel.


Posted by: Sybil Vane | Link to this comment | 01-14-08 9:56 AM
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91: They love the new, silent>/i> Randy Moss. "Straight cash, homey" Randy would not be welcome. But it's actually the linebackers they like, I suspect.


Posted by: Klug | Link to this comment | 01-14-08 9:57 AM
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There is not reason that Peyton or Brady are not just as emblematic of the flaws in the American self-image.

Peyton's pretty Southern. I mean: Peyton, for gawd's sake! (I admit that, post-SNL appearance, I'm coming around on him.)


Posted by: SomeCallMeTim | Link to this comment | 01-14-08 9:58 AM
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Sybil Vane: hating excellence and beauty since 2008.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 01-14-08 9:58 AM
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Are they good these days, Apo? Anyhow I totally agree it's unfair of the Patriots to outspend everybody else to get all the best players.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 01-14-08 9:58 AM
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Also, Favre really does look comfortable in those jeans.


Posted by: FL | Link to this comment | 01-14-08 9:58 AM
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I am, however, thankful to this year's NE team for finally sparing us having to hear about the '72 Dolphins every damn season.

Tell me about it. This is the main reason I chose to seriously back NE this year, especially in the Pats vs. Colts game, since Dungy would never have a team go 16-0. Only Belichick has the "fuck y'all" attitude necessary to take the slight chance of a vital injury in pursuit of history.

If you want to talk smug, look at the 72 Dolphins. Plus, screw running-game teams. Two 1000-yard runners and one of the weakest schedules in league history? That must've been a boring-ass season.


Posted by: Po-Mo Polymath | Link to this comment | 01-14-08 9:59 AM
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Ogged: throwing in with deadbeat dads adn Rush Limbaugh in time for the 08 election.


Posted by: Sybil Vane | Link to this comment | 01-14-08 10:01 AM
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91: They love the new, silent>/i> Randy Moss.

Eh, maybe. Boston doesn't get enough credit for some of the changes there, though. The state govt. has a black quarterback, after all.


Posted by: SomeCallMeTim | Link to this comment | 01-14-08 10:01 AM
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Damn, I guess if both QBs just make the war worse I'll just have to root for Tom Petty instead. Go Gala Halftime Extravaganza!

How does one get into the Gala Halftime Extravaganza! design business? That would be a fun gig.


Posted by: Mo MacArbie | Link to this comment | 01-14-08 10:02 AM
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deadbeat dads

Calumny. Aren't they said to be on good terms? Don't bother looking it up, Sybil; Favre wouldn't.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 01-14-08 10:04 AM
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115: perhaps more importantly, the Cetics have an all black all-star front three. Really, it ain't that racist a town anymore, comparatively. Except for the Fire Department.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 01-14-08 10:04 AM
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100- The Red Sox passed on Jackie Robinson before the Dodgers had their chance at him. They even had him come in for a one day try-out. Don't think curse, think racism.


Posted by: asl | Link to this comment | 01-14-08 10:06 AM
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1 disappoints me sadly. Come on, John: the NFL is way, way more boring than computer gadgetry, popular kids' fiction, or whatever else it is that you've complained about.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 01-14-08 10:07 AM
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I think the fact of her doing a "Life Without Daddy"People cover shoot indicates that the terms are not so good. Brett would never, but never, slight a woman so. I feel sure.


Posted by: Sybil Vane | Link to this comment | 01-14-08 10:07 AM
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I think the fact of her doing a "Life Without Daddy"People cover shoot indicates that the terms are not so good.

Or that her career is not going as well as she hoped and she needed some pub.


Posted by: SomeCallMeTim | Link to this comment | 01-14-08 10:08 AM
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115: My comment (and possibly unsubstantiated smear) is mostly aimed at Patriots' support outside the NE area.


Posted by: Klug | Link to this comment | 01-14-08 10:12 AM
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Looks like it was OK! magazine, and since she's giving away the money from the photos, I'm guessing that she's not going to be on the street anytime soon.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 01-14-08 10:12 AM
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The wikipedia entry on the racism of the Red Sox is good, though strange at points and especially in its last paragraph.


Posted by: washerdreyer | Link to this comment | 01-14-08 10:17 AM
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124: I didn't know Moynahan was six years older than Brady. He should get some credit for that, somehow, no?


Posted by: SomeCallMeTim | Link to this comment | 01-14-08 10:17 AM
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It's the principle of the thing, not the economics.


Posted by: Sybil Vane | Link to this comment | 01-14-08 10:22 AM
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121: And it turned out he didn't really say anything mean about retarded people, right?


Posted by: peep | Link to this comment | 01-14-08 10:22 AM
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Hmm, apparently Moynahan is pretty angry with Brady, so I was wrong about their good relationship. Obviously, this doesn't weaken my argument in any material way and should, by rights, bolster my credibility.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 01-14-08 10:23 AM
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Randy Moss is beautiful to watch. If I had a Moss highlights film I wouldn't have to watch any games at all.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 01-14-08 10:28 AM
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He's a dick, who schmoozes with evil-doers. But even havign that substantiated, the bulk of my objection to his team stems from years of emotional wounds inflicted by them; it's more historical than anything. Which, for the record, is also the bulk of my investment in the Pack - my grandfather loved them for some unclear reason, so I grew up with them as my NFC team.


Posted by: Sybil Vane | Link to this comment | 01-14-08 10:38 AM
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It's only bad if he lets Rush win, Sybil. And as a Chicagoan, I can't root for Green Bay. We'll just have to agree to amicably consider each other evil.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 01-14-08 10:45 AM
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I think he will be one of my fave celebrity babies very soon!

God, this country is so fucked.

Also, is it just me, or are photo shoots with mom and baby where the mom is fully dressed and made up--with jewelry, even--kind of offputting?


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 01-14-08 10:49 AM
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Well, knowing you are a Chicagoan changes things somewhat, ogged. I would never ask a Clevelander to support the Steelers, you know.



Posted by: Sybil Vane | Link to this comment | 01-14-08 10:51 AM
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21: 19: No, for old-timer hardcore OSU fans the Michigan game is the alpha and the omega.

Which provincialism this hardcore old-timer OSU fan believes helps explain why there has been such frequent regional humiliation 'round about New Year's 'lo these past 40 years. Rex Kern lives!


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 01-14-08 11:10 AM
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Ogged doesn't like football, he likes winning.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 01-14-08 11:13 AM
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Chicagoan

That nearby place is not Chicago. Are there even hot dogs?


Posted by: lw | Link to this comment | 01-14-08 11:15 AM
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136: Actually, he seems to like people who have won.


Posted by: SomeCallMeTim | Link to this comment | 01-14-08 11:15 AM
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I do not have a Chicagoan excuse, but I will unabashedly say that when it comes to post-season sports, absent other factors, I'm almost always for the overdog. In addition to just reward for excellence, the crazed American over-insistence on there being one true glorious winning team while everyone else is teh loosers helps motivate this approach.

For instance: Villanova over Georgetown = travesty, not inspiration.

(None of that explains my Favre-bashing, for some reason that whole narrative just sticks in my craw.)


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 01-14-08 11:27 AM
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Why hasn't anyone mentioned the cheating! It's the cheating! I liked the Pats a lot, but they seem totally arrogant, which in the past seemed justified, but they were totally cheating! and it was unnecessary! they just did it because they were jerks. And the players, Brady and the rest, certainly knew about it. And the press gives them a huge pass for some reason I don't know except maybe their total love of football whiteness (see coverage of Farve et. al.) Cheaters never win and winners never cheat. If the football gods won't punish the Pats, what will children learn? Won't anyone here think of the children!


Posted by: Miranda | Link to this comment | 01-14-08 11:48 AM
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ps--it's hard to think of a football fan more obnoxious than a New England football fan (probably Cowboys, but they are out)


Posted by: miranda | Link to this comment | 01-14-08 11:49 AM
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a football fan more obnoxious than a New England football fan

Notre Dame.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 01-14-08 11:51 AM
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Peyton's pretty Southern. I mean: Peyton, for gawd's sake!

Also, his brother's name is "Cooper", with the "oo" pronounced like the vowel in "book". That's as Southern as you can get.


Posted by: Cryptic Ned | Link to this comment | 01-14-08 11:51 AM
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That's as Southern as you can get.

Oh ye of little imagination.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 01-14-08 11:54 AM
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I'm almost always for the overdog. In addition to just reward for excellence, the crazed American over-insistence on there being one true glorious winning team while everyone else is teh loosers helps motivate this approach.

Not following this logic. Are you saying that you're acquiescing to the "crazed American over-insistence"?


Posted by: JRoth | Link to this comment | 01-14-08 12:01 PM
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"Cooper", with the "oo" pronounced like the vowel in "book"

I can't even make my mouth do this. I suppose with a Southern accent this would make sense.


Posted by: JRoth | Link to this comment | 01-14-08 12:03 PM
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NE/GB is where we're headed, and I'm not sure I'll be able to handle it. I want both teams to win the superbowl so much it hurts. I won't have any idea who to root for. I may not even watch the game. I'm sick just thinking about it.


Posted by: Brock Landers | Link to this comment | 01-14-08 12:16 PM
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No, I generally hate what happens to a superior team that loses in the post-season in the USofA. The loss itself should be its own punishment, but then the team either gets disappeared entirely or you get the narrative pile ons of 'choker', not really that good etc. So, for instance, the '82-'83 mens college basketball season becomes all about a team with 10 losses rather than Houston (or Houston gets a brief mention as having choked.) That is all, it is just a small add-on to my overall 'hope that the winners win' approach.

(The above is actually all just after-the-fact observation and rationalization of my real-time choices, I basically just let the lizard brain run with who to cheer for. And the iguana is saying Go Pats!)


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 01-14-08 12:17 PM
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148 -> 145


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 01-14-08 12:18 PM
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I can't even make my mouth do this.

If you loved me, you would.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 01-14-08 12:19 PM
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I watched a Steelers game with my mother during which they showed highlights from a Patriots game, and she criticized 'that cheater coach' for running up the score. I pointed out that it was only the start of the second half and it wasn't really the Patriots' fault the other team sucked.


Posted by: Cala | Link to this comment | 01-14-08 12:21 PM
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I believe I'm also the only Pats fan who's still not sold on Tom Brady.


Posted by: BrockL Landers | Link to this comment | 01-14-08 12:27 PM
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Why hasn't anyone mentioned the cheating!

Because pointing a camera at a big fat guy standing outdoors, in public, waving his arms and shouting at other big guys isn't cheating. Also, because Bill Belichick will come to your house and cut off the sleeves of all your sweatshirts.


Posted by: Flippanter | Link to this comment | 01-14-08 12:28 PM
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152: I don't think "Pats" is doing as much work as you might think.


Posted by: SomeCallMeTim | Link to this comment | 01-14-08 12:29 PM
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The thing with Belicheck's clothes really pisses me off. I know I am supposed to feel it's some noble anti establishment thing because of some bullshit having to do with the NFL and sanctioned gear, logos or some shit, btu everytime i see him there, looking like he just knocked over a 7-11 (I think I am plagiarizing that) I want to spit nails.


Posted by: Sybil Vane | Link to this comment | 01-14-08 12:35 PM
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Cala you should be nicer to your mom.


Posted by: Sybil Vane | Link to this comment | 01-14-08 12:36 PM
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I want to spit nails.

Seek help. Why would you care what he wears? As long as he's not naked, it's all good.


Posted by: SomeCallMeTim | Link to this comment | 01-14-08 12:37 PM
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I always care what they are wearing. When the Chargers wear those beautiful powder blue uniforms, I swoon. When the Steelers wore those heinous throw back unis, I gasped.


Posted by: Sybil Vane | Link to this comment | 01-14-08 12:38 PM
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looking like he just knocked over a 7-11

He's Bill Belichick. He can wear whatever he wants. Your primitive notions of appropriate dress are but more grist for the mill of his greatness.


Posted by: Flippanter | Link to this comment | 01-14-08 12:39 PM
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I think I figured it out. Sybil, are you from Oakland?


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 01-14-08 12:39 PM
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Pittsburgh


Posted by: Sybil Vane | Link to this comment | 01-14-08 12:43 PM
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158: I think I mentioned that my fashion-conscious younger sister freaked out that the throwback unis would become permanent. (As fashion-conscious as one can be wearing a Steelers jersey, at least.)


Posted by: Cala | Link to this comment | 01-14-08 12:45 PM
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The Polamalu jersey seems the most fashionable choice, to me. Somebody gave me these ginormous pink Steelers at-home pants for christmas and I have basically not taken them off since.


Posted by: Sybil Vane | Link to this comment | 01-14-08 12:51 PM
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153: Recording other teams' signals by video camera IS cheating (or at least, not allowed in NFL rules). Weirdly, recording them by watching their defensive coaches and recording observations by pen or digital tape is not. Thus, the cheating is pretty weak beer, in reality.

Let's not forget that there are other, more fun unsubstantiated allegations, including 1) interfering with other teams' headsets at Gillette and 2) miking up defensive players to catch offensive signals.


Posted by: Klug | Link to this comment | 01-14-08 1:01 PM
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Being ont he record as not giving much of a shit about Bonds' cheating, I feel it would be hypocritical of me to get too bent out of shape about the Pats various types of cheating. But Klug is right that the other allegations are much more fun, from a narrative standpoint.


Posted by: Sybil Vane | Link to this comment | 01-14-08 1:07 PM
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The NFL says that all sorts of things are cheating. The NFL also says that all sorts of hulking psychopaths are churchgoing family men. I fail to perceive the significance of the NFL's moral pretensions.


Posted by: Flippanter | Link to this comment | 01-14-08 1:09 PM
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164, 165: Fine. The lizard brain adjusts: Go Pats*!


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 01-14-08 1:09 PM
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163, I recommend going slightly off-center and wearing a Pirates jersey. It's the same color scheme. Specifically, a Snell jersey. That guy rocks.


Posted by: Cryptic Ned | Link to this comment | 01-14-08 1:09 PM
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I'm so out of touch with the Buccos. If I had to pick a Pirates jersey, I could only go with Bay. But I had a jr. Jay Bell jersey back in the day, I wish that still fit.


Posted by: Sybil Vane | Link to this comment | 01-14-08 1:12 PM
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If you HATE success, how can you HAVE success, brothers and sisters?

So very true. I am a NE fan back from the Tony Eason days (curse you, Rulon Jones!), so am biased. That said, there's a strong "drive your lamborghini a little bit faster/just to make the haters a little bit madder" aspect to rooting for the Pats right now. Part of the joy is the fury their excellence generates.


Posted by: baa | Link to this comment | 01-14-08 1:39 PM
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I think that I would like LB's handle better if she changed it to Lizard Brain. Her actual handle sound too preteen. I cannot bring myself to say it aloud.

remember, she's the oe who bullied everyone else to changing handles.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 01-14-08 1:43 PM
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But I make up for it by my sedately matronly affect in person.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 01-14-08 1:44 PM
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she did bully me into adopting this handle, it's true. I had forgotten.


Posted by: Sybil Vane | Link to this comment | 01-14-08 1:46 PM
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I think ST should be bullied into changing his handle to Sifu Tweety*.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 01-14-08 1:58 PM
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I really have trouble not rooting for a team when people are whining about how they're 'running up the score'. It makes me want to assert something about how the sheeple are threatened by true excellence and then quote a few choice bits from The Fountainhead.

This is possibly one of the reasons I don't follow football much. Also, Brady is kinda a jackass in his personal life, which inhibits my ability to root for him. As opposed to, say, Manny Ramirez, who I wholeheartedly support.


Posted by: NBarnes | Link to this comment | 01-14-08 11:45 PM
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174: I cheat because I love too much, JP.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 01-14-08 11:48 PM
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53, 63:Way, way late, but as a means of identifying the real Browns Agonistes among us; When Dennis Northcutt dropped a critical pass against New England, was I the only one who flashed back to his drop of a potential game-sealing catch in the dreadful playoff loss to Pittsburgh a few years back?


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 01-15-08 7:11 AM
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Absolutely. Finally, reason prevails.


Posted by: coldH2Owi | Link to this comment | 01-15-08 8:03 AM
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