The State of the Union address is about as relevant as the Miss America pageant, which I understand will also be held this week, or maybe already happened. The idea that it still exists doesn't pass through my mind once all year, unless someone else mentions it.
I'm sure Bush is really looking forward to it too. Why not just skip the sorry ritual this year?
Miss America already won. Miss Michigan was the victor, as I understand it.
It would be odd if they held the Miss America pageant and Miss America lost.
Miss Michigan was the victor, as I understand it.
This is a Hillary-free thread, dammit.
Nebraska has Nebraska, but Texas has That's Right, You're Not From Texas
and the Texas Trilogy.
I'm with Ned. What a sorry piece of kabuki that speech is, and it's only made worse by the punditocracy droning on endlessly about its meaning. The NFL should do us all a favor and schedule the Super Bowl at exactly the same time as the SOTU.
There's still time. Get on the horn to Manning and Brady! Let's make this happen!
Why not just skip the sorry ritual this year?
I was going to mention the constitution, but I guess that hasn't had much relevance of late anyway.
There hasn't been a State of the Union speech every year, ben. It was just a letter to Congress from the president for many years.
Until Wilson, the president just sent a written report to Congress on the state of the union.
We should go back to that, as part of our return to the Gilded Age.
I didn't realize you meant just the address part, Ned.
Miss Michigan/America is the granddaughter of another Miss Michigan (not America). Michigan also had a M.A. 20 years ago.
Miss America is a good Christian girl whose issue is eating disorders, which she is against.
She's not a Yooper, dammit. From near Detroit. A Yooper M.A. would be as good as a Newfie Miss Canada.
Sage advice she got: "I told her to keep something in mind, that all those other guys (contestants) put their pants on the same way you do," he said.
Not "the other girls put their panties on the same way you do", which would be piquant and titillating. Feminists have ruined everything.
14: That's the "ritual". The thing where the congressmen stand up and sit down and clap and shout "Don't go there!" so that the media has something to interpret.
"The state of our union is...."
Firm?
Manly?
Pulsating?
Ben, would you answer your email and/or text message already?
I have received no email and my phone is off for lack of battery power. (It's not off to conserve power. The battery is really dead.)
3: I'm a wonk, and I still hate the SOTU. It's only in the Constitution because they didn't have CNN or AP in the 18th century.
I think it would be fairly awesome if he just came out, said "The state of the union....is strong!" and then left the stage after the applause died down.
Or a congress with members presentraising funds almost constantly.
As it stands, "from time to time" really doesn't look to me to be "yearly."
It was once per session of congress, traditionally, no?
"The state of our union is *kick ass*"
Medical question: I was taking a book off a shelf in my office -- to write a snarky comment on the internet -- and accidentally knocked over a bottle of beer, that's been on the shelf for years. Maybe 5. More or less.
Headstrong Pale Ale. It says 5.2% on the label.
The top was jarred loose, so I went to the kitchen area on my floor to open it. It sprayed all over the room, and me too -- which is a bummer, because I'm wearing a suit today, and was thinking I'd wear it again on Wednesday. Anyway, I split what was left with a paralegal, who happened to be working late -- so we each had, what, 3 ounces. It wasn't bad, but I think it got a little stronger, because I'm a little woozier than I'd expect from 3 ounces of beer. Diagnoses?
And no, I'm not going to watch the sotu. That Man has nothing to nsay that interests me.
"He shall from time to time give"
No yearly requirement.
So what's people's tolerance for hearing the guy? How long can you listen before making a mad jab to change the station/channel/whatever? On a good day I can go maybe 10 seconds.
28 - But it's always been done every year. I think we should go back to it being a written report.
27: Wait 3 days. If you still have kidneys, the beer was OK.
Belligerent?
Needs-a-nap?
Shits all over the house?
As President, I will make it a yearly report.
Beer shouldn't get stronger from sitting out for years, unless maybe it was exposed to the air, in which case it would have been flat and you would have noticed that it tasted awful.
30: But it's always been done every year.
Yes, and on June 27th of every year we have a lottery.
Steady?
Solid?
Whatever they call that thing where solids go directly to gas
Triple?
Apparently, "the state of our union is strong" has been in every SOTU but 1995 at least since Clinton took office.
34 -- I'm wearing enough of it to certify that it was not flat.
I'll be switching over to rum drinks in the tropics tomorrow.
"Meine Damen und Herren, Mesdames et Messieurs, Ladies and Gentlemen, the state of our union is craptacular. I have presided over our fall from the pinnacle of our power, and maybe there's some way I could have avoided it, but personally I have no interest in the concept of the nation-state anyway. The following is a discourse on the benefits of laissez-faire capitalism."
36.3 The State of the Union is sublime.
29:So what's people's tolerance for hearing the guy?
Zero. No tolerance at all. Less than zero. Some Cantor Negative Cardinal infinity times ten level.
My TV isn't on, but I want to throw it out the window anyway. Computer is in jeopardy. I resent this thread for reminding me.
The state of the union is now Long Beach Dub Allstars.
"The state of our union is *kick ass*"
These days, it's looking a bit more like ass kicked.
Yeah, I can't stand listening to his voice either. But I'm going to make a REAL EFFORT for the SOTU. Really.
What time is the damn thing on, anyway?
Combining 1 and 35 (sort of), he could just randomly select a state. "This year's State of the Union is... Vermont!" Then they'd cut away to a tourism board infomercial, during which everyone could just go home.
Tolerance-wise, I don't think I've lasted for more than 15 seconds of his voice in the last 2-3 years.
Because Shark-Fu made it sound fun. Chocolate brownies!
Plus, it's the last one. So in a way it's sort of a happy occasion.
A few years back another patron and I both asked a waiter to turn off a Bush speech, and he refused. No tip. We represented a majority of the patrons there (counting her table partner).
47 gets it right (both parts).
I've gotten so I can suffer through the odd 10 seconds of his voice during a news rundown, since I know it'll be over soon. But I always find myself muttering "stop talking, nobody wants to hear you say anything, go away, just leave us in piece".
The happy occasion will be when he leaves office. And I'd like to live long enough to piss on his grave, but that would be pure gravy.
39: "Ladies and gentlemen, there is nothing wrong with the state of our union that making my tax cuts permanent could not solve. Once we have rewarded them with the entire national wealth, the richest one-half of one percent of Americans will use their magical entrepreneurial powers for the benefit of all"
Shark-fu is onto something with her scorecard. I'll bet the Mineshaft could come up with a pretty good SOTU drinking game.
The only way I would consider watching the full address is if it began, "The state of the union is...well, it's pretty fucked, I gotta say."
Else I'm with NPH. Just now thinking about listening to the speech gets me a little crazy.
I would listen to an address from Opinionated Grandma on the state of her bunion.
piss on his grave, but that would be pure gravy
That sounds uncomfortable.
Don't mock NPH just because his bladder makes its own gravy. He's worth more dead than you are alive.
The State of our Union is horny and eyeing a threesome with Canada and Mexico while Cuba watches.
56 has inspired a road trip to Waco, taking along my large dogs.
"Mr McManus was shot Tuesday by Secret Service agents, while attempting to befoul the Bush Ranch with dogturds."
State of the Union? I never watch it. I am not much for speeches anyway, preferring to read the transcripts, but Bush in particular makes me want to beat him with the rhetoric stick.
He shall, from time to time... dude, 2009 meets that requirement.
Now that I think about, I can't think of an SOTU drinking game that doesn't essentially boil down to "Start drinking when he opens his mouth, and stop when he's finished."
61: The benefit of that one is you can doing it while muting the TV and listening to something else.
Are even the pundits watching this time around? Why would they? What good would it do them?
The State of the Union is gloriously, transcendently cromulent.
NPH, see a doctor, esepcially if that lasts more than four hours. But I know exactly how you feel. It took all of my willpower not to take the San Clemency exit to Nixon's grave when I happened to see it while on an errand in LA. Still regret it. Someday . . .
I suppose I could do it with the sound off and captions. Sometimes the typos can be funny.
Got to reboot my computer and turn the Vcore down.
51: With a trough, the waiting list shouldn't be that long.
The state of the Union will have to remain classified while legal investigations are pending. Laura and the appropriate committee members have been briefed, in a general way, off the record. In a time of war. As commander-in-chief. The troops. God bless America.
Whatever they call that thing where solids go directly to gas
Sublimation!
I thought that was directing sexual frustration into your work.
67 - San Dimas High School football rules!
73: the State of the Union is radical. Now, be excellent to each other.
73: A friend and a were talking the other day about where Bush might have found his true calling in life. We concluded that he probably would have been just about right as a high school athletic director.
"A triple point is, in a pressure-temperature phase diagram, the unique intersection of the lines of equilibrium between three states of matter, usually solid, liquid, and gas."
I wasn't sure if the triple point wasn't in itself a state, not animal. vegetable, mineral, fungal, or George W Bush.
STFU would be a better title for the State of the Union thread.
75: I'm thinking Cadillac salesman who is the son-in-law of the guy who owns the dealership.
GWB: The state of the union is clappy.
[effusive congressional applause]
GWB: Heh-heh-heh. Toldja!
Cut earmarks in half. No more, no less.
Christ this is vapid.
Stanley:
I was in C-ville this weekend. So I didnt call you.
Stanley:
I was in C-ville this weekend. So I didnt call you.
Dammit somebody at MY's told me that Summer Glau was on Fox but I switched over and no shit-kicking robot gamines.
That's okay, will. I was out of town anyway. (Jerk.)
Let us build a corn-fueled rocket to Mars.
We must trust our children, and empower them to eat Zoo-roni.
We must raise the price of gas to $9.11.
73 is exactly right, in all times, in all places.
I only heard three minutes of the darned speech, and that was enforced listening (trapped in a car). It was enough.
What does he mean, that 116 million Americans will have to pay an average of $1800 more in taxes if his tax cuts are not renewed? I thought the vast majority of the tax cuts were for households making over $200K, and I know that can't be more than 1/3 of the country.
The Mass is ended. Let us go now in peace to love and serve the Lord. Amen.
I can tolerate no Bush. None. My tolerance is zero. I'm actually kind of agitated just reading people talk about his speech. GAH.
"The state of the union is... solid. It is the goal of my administration to return to a simpler time, a time of cathode-ray tubes and mechanical tape drives."
This SOTU address has been archived in a quivering protein-jello.
I can't believe I just saw Barney Frank hug and cuddle the President.
I am not that far from Mexico. I wanna die in another country. Fuck this place.
This SOTU is a gelatinous cube lying in wait for unwary adventurers.
It's like, how much more of a dick could he be? and the answer is none. None more of a dick.
It's like, how much more of a dick could he be?
Whisper in Frank's ear, "Just to be clear: this is not a gay hug, man."
What does he mean, that 116 million Americans will have to pay an average of $1800 more in taxes if his tax cuts are not renewed? I thought the vast majority of the tax cuts were for households making over $200K, and I know that can't be more than 1/3 of the country.
Classic GOP tax-cut flim-flam, dear Witt. That's "average" in the same sense that the average net worth of me and Bill Gates is $20 billion.
What does he mean, that 116 million Americans will have to pay an average of $1800 more in taxes if his tax cuts are not renewed?
IIRC the cuts went all the way to the bottom of the rate structure, so just letting EGTRRA expire would result in higher rates for a lot of people. But even assuming his numbers are good, the mean dollar amount of increased taxes is meaningless. He's not, unless I missed something, suggesting that Exxon execs should divvy up their salaries among the general population, so why should you or I care about an average that includes their tax increases with ours?
And I assume that the only way the low-mid range of the EGTRRA cuts go away is if Congress just can't manage to pass something to extend those cuts while letting the high-end cuts expire (or increasing rates at the top end to something higher than they were pre-EGTRRA). Since they've got until the end of 2010 to get it done (IIRC), that seems unlikely.
This SOTU is a gelatinous cube lying in wait for unwary adventurers.
Not sure about that, Robust. The gelatinous cube, if my D&D memory serves, has a chaotic evil orientation. I would classify this SOTU as lawful evil.
Eh, Knecht got there first, but I remembered the acronym.
Actually "The gelatinous cube" being mindless, are always neutral. If anyone else has D&D related questions I'll be here all week.
101: Okay, this SOTU is a Baatezu offering a questionable deal to unwise adventurers.
I'm trying to figure out which of the enormous-headed talking heads most resembles a beholder.
We already know the state of the union. It's a lie.
I was thinking there is nobody I hate listening to more than Bush. Then Tim Russert started talking ...
Of course, Asteele is right, as a quick peek at Wikipedia might have told me.
Man. I got sucked in: I wanted to see. In between the gagging, I wondered why, still, nobody has taught Bush how to pronounce "nuclear," when not to beam idiotically.
Meh. There is nothing new here. Bread and circuses. It strikes me that the assessment of the viewing public's intelligence has reached a new low. Perhaps not.
Oh, and Sebelius's delivery was awfully wooden.
Sebelius was wooden. But I love her anyway.
Sebelius was wooden
Plains politicians generally are.
99, 100: Ah, thanks. I misremembered and thought that the tax cuts were just for the very rich. Makes sense now.
110: She'll be a real boy someday, B.
[ducks; runs away]
I'm impressed at the way McCaskill and Sebelius have come out for Obama. Two border states, and Kansas is hard-core Republican. I'm hoping they know something I don't.
Also, black dude, white babes. Instant issue.
Bush gains by mispronouncing nuclear. He's not like us.
Actually, not like you guys. I mispronounce it too sometimes. I'm a man of the people.
I'm hoping they know something I don't.
That Hillary Clinton is more likely to energize their home state crazies than Obama?
Than Obama would. I'm not sure how much Clinton energizes Obama.
Yes, feminists have now descended below African Americans on the kiss-of-death scale. Below feminists are Muslims, and below Muslims are atheists like me.
Sebelius and McCaskill were also saying that they didn't want no populism, even from a honky dude.
Fortune smiles upon thee, thou hast found the unwise tax cuts!
Also, black dude, white babes. Instant issue.
And indeed is it annoying. Obama's cute, but way too skinny for him to command my vote on looks alone.
America isn't ready for a president with ghetto booty, Cala.
way too skinny
I'm sure he's girthy where it counts, Cala.
I say way too skinny too. But you know, there's the all-important gym vote, and then there's the anorexic vote.
way too skinny
It suddenly dawned on me why Jackmormon is so into him. Damn I'm slow.
His skinniness is yet another way Obamer defies the cautious middle-American's stereotype of a black politician.
You certainly couldn't do a caricature of him with a gold watch-chain and a pompadour.
A question that was mooted at my office during lunch a few days ago: Who would you rather do, Edwards or Obama?
It'd be a tough call. Am I permitted to ruffle Edwards' hair?
News flash: The beloved longtime leader of the Mormon religion has died at age 97.
For those of us into niche stereotypes, Obama is definitely East African rather than West African. I barely suppressed a racist marathon / steeplechase joke just now.
NOTE: At any given time, about half the world's best steeplechasers are Kenyans.
Bave: is this question a set up to allow mcmanus to tell us either way we're fucked?
130: At my office, we prefer our interrogative pronouns in the casual case.
131: What else would sex with Edwards consist of?
NOTE: At any given time, about half the world's best steeplechasers are Kenyans.
Not horses?!?
and below Muslims are atheists like me.
Unless they hate on Muslims. Then their stock goes through the roof. Maybe you should become an even-the-liberal, John.
Ack, 135 and 136 contradict! Though this heuristic doesn't seem to work, because I wanted to vote for Dodd and he is not hot.
News flash: The beloved longtime leader of the Mormon religion has died at age 97.
The new guy is possibly even more beloved, and he's only 80.
Though this heuristic doesn't seem to work, because I wanted to vote for Dodd and he is not hot.
He's got some meat on his bones, at least.
Since 1988 the best steeplechasers have all been Kenyan with one Moroccan exception. (The Qatari is really Kenyan).
He's got some meat on his bones, at least.
The bigger the cushion, the sweeter the pushin'.
Wow, Bronislaw Malinowski still holds the Polish record for the steeplechase. Also, I sincerely thought it was only a horse-racing event until just now.
Different Bronislaw, not the anthropologist.
That's what you think. Clearly running on his lunch break between exams, like Roger Bannister.
Getting back to Obama, he truly spans two worlds, having the slow-twitch muscles of the East African, but playing the basketball beloved by the West African.
147: Yes, but, since he is not descended from slaves, he sadly lacks the evolutionary advantages of generations of selective breeding for strength and endurance.
Who would you rather do, Edwards or Obama?
Definitely Michelle Obama.
148: But, Kenyan! They win marathons. Surely he's good for the long haul.
He looks really good in a suit, which is rare for a skinny guy with no shoulders to speak of.
Or maybe I'm projecting my hope that skinny guys with no shoulders to speak up can grow up to look good in suits. Truly, I have the whirlpool eyes.
Suits were invented to give skinny guys shoulders.
To be perfectly honest, I hadn't thought about it and even though I am young and naive, it hadn't crossed my mind. That said, Obama's younger and Edwards is practically my dad's age.
Wee thin ones. If national security depends on arm wrestling, we're screwed.
If national security depends on arm wrestling, we're screwed.
Bullshit. Obama could totally take Putin in a fair fight. Or Kim Jong Il. Or Amahdinejad.
Of course, with Putin it wouldn't be a fair fight.
Obama is wiry. I know the type -- stronger than he looks!
But Putin knows Judo. Also, he doesn't smoke. He'd take it to the ground and have Obama panting for breath.
Lolwut? Putin is a judo master. He's like David Lo Pan.
Obama is definitely East African rather than West African
Obama is exactly as Scandanavian as he is African. The one thing you can be sure he isn't is descended from black Americans.
159-160: you added that he was a Judo master, which I hadn't said. I think Putin's a black belt, right?
The only guy who could take him in American government is Harry Reid...ex-boxer! Or Cheney would just shoot him in the face.
158, 159: All right, be that as it may, Obama and Gordon Brown could kick the asses of Putin and Lukashenko in a no-holds-barred tag-team match. Until Lukashenko hit Brown with the chair, and then the two of them would start double teaming Brown, but then Obama would come diving off of the turnbuckle and then pile-drive Putin, as the crowd went wild.
The one thing you can be sure he isn't is descended from black Americans.
Well, now, that's a relief!
I refuse these false "choices." I demand both Edwards and Obama.
I am informed by my redneck of a husband that armwrestling is all about technique and engaging the chest muscles rather than brute arm strength. (Compare pushing your arm sideways vs. pulling towards yourself.) So we need to compare not merely armstrength, but the candidate's best bench press.
Putin has muscles. Some closeted newsperson was raving about them.
166: Dibs on towel duty during the clinical trial.
You're damn right, John. The crypto-fascist Canadian press has been glorifying him.
If national security depends on arm wrestling
The GOP would never have nominated Bob Dole.
What does he mean, that 116 million Americans will have to pay an average of $1800 more in taxes if his tax cuts are not renewed? I thought the vast majority of the tax cuts were for households making over $200K, and I know that can't be more than 1/3 of the country.
Come 2010, average tax cut for millionaires = $157,000 per household, average tax cut for households earning $50-75,000 = $1,200 per household.
45 percent of total tax cuts will go to families making over $200,000, about 70 percent to households earning over $100,000.
In 2010 Federal government will spend about $135 billion a year just in tax cuts for households earning over $200K, more in later years.
Dems can get plenty of $ just from cancelling tax cuts at the higher end.
Handy table:
If only attitudes toward disability had been more evolved, FDR could have developed the massive forearms to defeat Nazism with a single blow and had strength to spare to more deeply entrench the New Deal.
You know, "not spending the tax payers' money on stupid wars" would be an excellent, sound fiscal solution. I'm fine with my tax rate. I'm not fine with what I'm getting for it.
170: You're going straight to Hell, but that was worth it.
Maybe that's why he never chaired the Armed Services Committee.
i want to fuck obama girl
i think its possible because the last time i did that 'what celebrity do you look like' web site obama was my no.2 look-alike
It's only in the Constitution because they didn't have CNN or AP in the 18th century.
The SNAFU address is not in the Constitution. The Constitution says: "He shall from time to time give to the Congress Information of the State of the Union". He could do that by email if he wanted to. Doesn't have to be every year, either.
170, 174: True story: I attended a Bob Dole speech where the guy introducing him ended with this: "Let's give a hand to Bob Dole."
I went to a party at which we played SOTU Bingo, and won when the president finally busted out with "De-Baathification." Never thought it would happen he'd be able to pronouce it.
A performance of "Up Where We Belong" would've been more entertaining than that speech.
180: Especially if it was Cheney and Pelosi doing the duet.
162: The only guy who could take him in American government is Harry Reid...ex-boxer! Or Cheney would just shoot him in the face.
Two years ago we could have had Jim Jeffords, black belt of Tae Kwon Do, square off with Putin, but he didn't run again in 2006. Too bad.
The first few UFCs proved conclusively that grappling arts like judo beat karate or Tae Kwon Do.
Jim Jeffords, black belt of Tae Kwon Do
I never knew that. Vermonters are full of surprises.
The first few UFCs proved conclusively that grappling arts like judo beat karate or Tae Kwon Do.
But firearms trump them all. I say we put Jim Webb up against Putin, 'cause Webb packs heat.
The first few UFCs proved conclusively that grappling arts like judo beat karate
But does the empty hand of karate beat the empty orchestra of karaoke? Void against void: herein lies true wisdom.