What if it was just a simple "I need you"?
Will you wear my pin, Labs? Will you be my bitch?
Tim, I hadn't thought of that skit in years. Holy shit, that's funny.
Free advice to bloggers:I ain't your student (and I don't think many of your students hang here), or your therapist or your mother.
Aargh. Not exactly the same vein, but a student has been emailing me in the past week about which class to take next semester. I gave her some info about the classes, told her to look at their websites, and suggested that she talk to the professors and go to the first day of class if she still can't make up her mind. No matter what I told her, she wrote back again. She wanted me to tell her what class to take, and wasn't happy with any other answer.
I trust you abused that power, Blume.
I had a student last term who kept asking me whether he should drop or not. And I'd say, well, here's where you are now, and the likely outcomes... and he'd keep asking for a drop/no drop sort of endorsement. Eerie.
For a while I was pushing a system where anybody who asked me a question that could be answered with one press of the "I'm feeling lucky" button on google had to give me a quarter, but nobody would do it.
I told her to take the one that will probably have more trouble getting students. With the professor I like better.
What happens if you press the "I'm feeling lucky" button, Tweety?
You know, not everyone is connected to the internet at all times the way you are, Sifu.
I told her to take the one that will probably have more trouble getting students
You sent her to "Offal and Effluvium in Early Norse Mythology"?
Sometimes the students just seem so lost and are looking for any guidance at all. It's depressing how paralyzed they become with regard to their own lives.
It's depressing how paralyzed they become with regard to their own lives.
Thank goodness this passes once you start grad school.
Sadly, no. To "Introduction to 20th-Century German Literature". It's it's the first course after the language sequence and is taught in German, so it's hard to get students to make the leap.
15: It's paralyzing, how depressed they become.
It's becoming that they're paralyzed. So, so kinky.
Paralyzed like the hammerer of cabbages they've become.
Is a cabbage hammerer like a cob logger?
seem so lost
A sign of alertness, no? Looking for guidance, not so much.
Labs, I need you to clean my house for me, okay? The stupid property manager is coming over this afternoon, and we all know I'm not going to do it, and Mr. B. freaks out about having people see what slobs we are. So like, you'll be saving my marriage. Kthx!
They probably want you to tell them what to do so they can later blame you if it doesn't work out for them.
Mr B and I are a lot alike. I am frightened and excited by this.
FL, Mr. B is wasted on B. Only you can make him happy.
I keep a clean house, Emerson. It's nothing to sneeze at.
Clean houses cause immune system problems, including sneezing.
Maybe you, B, Mr. B, The Boyfriend, and a player to be named later could form a pentagram family and do witchcraft.
3. Anystatement containing I need a better grade in this course should be grounds for flogging.
Labs, all the more reason you should come over here and clean up a little. Mr. B. would be so grateful.
Can I wear the maid outfit? or would that be oppressively reinforcing gender stereotypes or something?
You can wear whatever you want. Have at it.
You know what's sad? Cleaning your house would be much more enjoyable than what I really have to do this afternoon.
You can wear whatever you want. Have at it.
Who would the fifth person be? I say Stevie Nicks. She worked so well in Fleetwood Mac.
You should make candid films too.
34: A lot of ISBN numbers to figure out, eh?
5 may be one just so trust and value your opinion, not being foolish or lost
wouldn't refusal to give a sincere straighforward advice feel like betrayal of teacher-student, senpai-kouhai relations?
38: That's not what the comment means, read. An unfortunately large number of students have a tendency to ask questions they shouldn't ever ask.
whups, I missed the `5' in 38 somehow, sorry.
If you billed them by the hour, you'd welcome easy tasks and silly questions. All hail the billable hour!
Yes, I think read was giving advice on the Emerson-funded occult orgy, not the irritating student emails.
41: I don't actually think that's true.
My feeling is that Stevie is available and would welcome the attention.
If you saw the meeting agenda that's sitting in front of me, B, you wouldn't be so quick to say so.
I don't actually think that's true.
If you billed at the same rates lawyers do, I bet it would be.
I'm game. I'd love to have a clean house, and I feel really shitty about the fact that I'm not going to clean it. I can sit in a meeting and zone out with the best of 'em.
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If you billed them by the hour, you'd welcome easy tasks and silly questions. All hail the billable hour!
Yeah, actually I wind up feeling guilty about billing for really easy, trivial stuff. Alot of 0.1s trickle down the drain that way. Alot more trickle down because partners /other associates who ask easy, trivial questions get stingy with billing numbers (because they don't really want the client/billing partner seeing they had to ask such an easy, trivial question).
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They probably want you to tell them what to do so they can later blame you if it doesn't work out for them.
A more charitable interpretation might be that they have no experience with the classes and they know that you do, so they see you as someone more able to choose between them. However, this would only be true if you also knew the student well.
Maybe you, B, Mr. B, The Boyfriend, and a player to be named later could form a pentagram family and do witchcraft.
What about the nonplayer character, Ben w-lfs-n?
The male imbalance would be too great. Bjork might be another possible fifth.
Mr. B. would be a big fan of the Bjork idea.
Do you think she'd bring the dead-swan dress?
Oh god I want to bitch on this topic. Instead I think I shall hold office hours. Commenting with a roomful of students!
If you can answer your question with a quick google search, do that instead of asking me to do it for you.
Do you realize how much tuition is these days? It is not like you are pressed for time or having anything else important to do.
Court went well. I got to make someone my little bitch. I didnt want to have to do it. He left me no choice.
Hitler said that about Poland, Will.
55: to the Bjorkphone!
56 also to 55.
58: Sometimes a guy's gotta do what a guy's gotta do.
Heh. I'm getting some entirely pointless pleasure out of pushing opposing counsel's associate around on a case. Nothing all that interesting or substantive -- little scheduling and discovery issues. And I'm not being unkind to him. But he doesn't know what he's doing at all, and I've got him agreeing thoughtlessly to anything I tell him to do, and being grateful that someone's providing him with guidance. Someone should remind him that I'm not on his side.
61: We're all somebody's Poland in the long run.
You are really in New York, right? Because I've been that associate...
You know, I find this attitude on the part of the undergrads mystifying. When I was in school I hardly ever e-mailed my professors (usually just for important administrative things) and I think I went to office hours once. This was mostly my shyness, true, but I also just didn't have any questions that I couldn't find out the answers to in other ways.
The only time I e-mailed a professor with a general question was when I was registering for courses before the fall semester of my freshman year. I wanted to take a seminar that was really intended for sophomores, but I was concerned that it might have already filled up and I wanted to know if there were any other similar courses that I might take either that semester or in the future. So I e-mailed the (very distinguished, though I'm not sure I knew that at the time) professor and asked if she knew of any other classes similar to hers. She wrote back to say that her class wasn't full as far as she knew, so I could just sign up for that. I did, and it ended up being one of the best classes I took in college.
Looking back, I find it really weird that I did that, actually. I can't imagine doing something like that now. I was just in a different frame of mind at that point, and I was trying very hard to change my life and how I approached it.
65: The fun bit of it is that I used to work for the guy he's working for now, so I'm pretty sure he's not getting a whole lot of hands on guidance. Odds are nothing will come of it -- there hasn't been anything substantive to take advantage of him over. But it's always entertaining seeing an opening.
Why am I reminded of the time I had to call security to get the under grad out of my office at CUNY? The kid got back his 88 (or whatever) and without even looking at the comments said "I can find two points here." He believed that his own candor abut motivation unfairly prejudiced me against the facts of his case (which was yet to be determined.) And so he staged his own little sit in.
67: What's weird about that? That was a perfectly appropriate question for you to have asked.
Alot of 0.1s trickle down the drain that way.
Wow.
At least I can usually round to the nearest .5 hour, which simplifies trying to keep track of assorted 0.1 hours.
Of course my time is billed at a significantly lower rate than yours.
66 -- Teo, we really are the same person.
it's always entertaining seeing an opening
Hence the timeless appeal of Mr. Goatse.
LB, it isn't fair to use your Voice on the poor guy.
When taking Spanish III as a freshman I asked my instructor if I were doing well overall; basically I wanted an am-I-where-I-should-be-and-what-needs-work temperature check, because wow, college was a lot harder than high school. She looked at me for long moments and then said, if I translated it correctly, which is iffy, "Robust, you speak the Spanish of the mountains." I think it's probably the sweetest way any instructor ever tried to let me down easy.
I also just didn't have any questions that I couldn't find out the answers to in other ways.
Yeah, my undergrad (and grad) student experience was like that as well. I think what Labs et al. are describing is comparatively new. Though, of course, you're just recently graduated, teo, so I don't know.
But nevermind that caveat. I speculate that the increasing casualness of email and of instant messaging (which seems to ignore the possibility that you're, you know, interrupting someone) encourages this kind of contact-your-professor behavior.
I tell ya, it's all downhill from here.
74: Oh man, listening to my fellow high school students filter Spanish through thick Southern accents was always a blast. "HOE-la! Mee yammo Roxanne!"
76: My Spanish I teacher in high school asked if anyone had signed up because they thought Spanish was just English with -o on the end of every word and there were hands that went up. Then someone said, "I'm taking Spanish 'cause I work at BI-LO and a lot of Mexicans shop there."
My people are a frequent source of shame.
"I'm taking Spanish 'cause I work at BI-LO and a lot of Mexicans shop there."
Reading this with a thick southern accent is truly joyful.
Spanish was just English with -o on the end of every word
That's Pig Spanish.
I work at BI-LO and a lot of Mexicans shop there
That seems like a perfectly logical reason to take Spanish, though.
My Spanish accent is very unique (some would say terrible), because my Spanish teacher, for all three years I took Spanish, was Pakistani. Spanish was her 3rd language; English was her second.
She looked at me for long moments and then said, if I translated it correctly, which is iffy, "Robust, you speak the Spanish of the mountains."
Do I dare tell Robust that that's not what "monstruoso" means?
If you billed at the same rates lawyers do, I bet it would be.
Not really. I really hate doing that sort of stuff. Getting overpaid paid well for can make it better, in the sense that I'm doing something unpleasant but it's a conscious trade off. Similarly there are some jobs I would never do under normal circumstances, but might consider if a fixed amount of time would materially change my life. You don't have to pay me all that much if I can have some fun (hence academia and 1/3 of the salary)
I did a bit of contract work that billed a couple hundred + an hour, so it's not a purely academic stance I'm taking. When it was challenging/interesting I liked it ok. When it was drudgework or stuff that someone should have done themselves or whatever, I disliked it. It somehow didn't help much to know I'd be billing the lazy bastard for it, either.
What's weird about that? That was a perfectly appropriate question for you to have asked.
It's just so out of character for me. Keep in mind that this was literally the only time in four years that I did anything like this.
(because they don't really want the client/billing partner seeing they had to ask such an easy, trivial question).
"0.1 - Looked up Appellate Rule 4 for shareholder, reported on contents."
Yeah, I admit, I didn't put that one down on my timesheet, either.
75: Communication is easier these days, yeah, but if it seems like students these days make inconsiderate requests or need to be led by the hand more than they used to, I think part of the reason it seems that way is just a problem with the reporting.
Sure, I've never asked a teacher to grade me more leniently for some personal reason, and I've definitely never staged a one-man sit-in to get that. But I did squeak through the requirements for my second major (it didn't say anywhere that you couldn't count the same class for two different requirements, but then again it didn't say anywhere that you could either), and there was a program I tried to get recommendations for at the last minute, and there were plenty of classes I got into after normal registration. I don't remember those exchanges as being as much of an imposition as asking a teacher to definitively recommend a class would be, but I'm not the person to ask.
And another reporting problem might be that people were asking stupid questions by phone or even mail back in the day, but it wasn't us, so we didn't notice it. And everyone gets nostalgic about how everything was easier in the good old days, even the undergrads.
No such thing as a dumb question, so long as it is just one. No student should go through a college class these days (or high school) without getting toe to toe with the teacher and asking a question. Lots of youngsters (including 21 year olds who can think like 11 year olds in times of stress) need to get prompted to do that. If it is a dumb question, that they can answer with Google just make the referral and see about a second question.
i think people are doing this just to make social connexion.