Re: Nice Touch

1

Oooh. I've been having a midlife crisis of some sort -- I've been really wanting a Vespa for the last year or so. They're impractical, and dangerous, and I don't need one. But they're really, really cute.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 02-15-08 6:48 PM
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Another one gets away, huh, Ogged?


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 02-15-08 6:57 PM
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I thought I was bad when it comes to being too obvious while checking women out, but at least I'm not snapping photos.


Posted by: Adam Kotsko | Link to this comment | 02-15-08 7:00 PM
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4

Those yellows don't quite match.


Posted by: eb | Link to this comment | 02-15-08 7:01 PM
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I was thinking the same thing -- it'd look great if they did. I'd want the Vespa oranger, not making the scarf lemon.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 02-15-08 7:02 PM
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I'm not snapping photos

Maybe it's time to "grow a pair," Adam.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 02-15-08 7:02 PM
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"I'm a fuel-injected suicide machine!"


Posted by: Flippanter | Link to this comment | 02-15-08 7:02 PM
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I'd have no use for one, but I think they're awesome and I want one.


Posted by: Cala | Link to this comment | 02-15-08 7:05 PM
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6: or to "buy a camera."


Posted by: Adam Kotsko | Link to this comment | 02-15-08 7:14 PM
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"buy a camera"

That's disgusting.


Posted by: washerdreyer | Link to this comment | 02-15-08 7:16 PM
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9: Camera phone?


Posted by: Di Kotimy | Link to this comment | 02-15-08 7:18 PM
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My dad owned a red '60s-era Vespa when I was a kid. Then it sat in the garage for years and then he finally sold it when I was away at college. I never really forgave him for that.


Posted by: Populuxe | Link to this comment | 02-15-08 7:31 PM
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13

"We're a silver gleaming death machine!"


Posted by: Zippy | Link to this comment | 02-15-08 7:34 PM
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One thing I can do that is always guaranteed to yank Fleur's chain is to tell her about how I am going to buy a red Vespa for our oldest daughter for her 16th birthday. The phrase "over my dead body" usually comes into play.


Posted by: Knecht Ruprecht | Link to this comment | 02-15-08 7:38 PM
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Affectations can be dangerous.


Posted by: Knecht Ruprecht | Link to this comment | 02-15-08 7:39 PM
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Guys, the Vespa looks silly! It is so uncool! Also, Ogged is just driving around these days asking himself, "Is this bloggable? Is this? Is this?"


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 02-15-08 7:41 PM
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Tell Audrey Hepburn in Roman Holiday it looks uncool. They're incredibly cool; all compact, brightly colored, and absolutely anti-macho.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 02-15-08 7:43 PM
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Guys, the Vespa looks silly! It is so uncool!

Is there any bigger fogey on the internets than parsimon?


Posted by: gswift | Link to this comment | 02-15-08 7:49 PM
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Someone should turn this into a Craigslist missed connections post on Ogged's behalf. "Saw you looking isadorable today...."


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 02-15-08 7:49 PM
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But you have to be driving around Rome for them to work. Zipping in and out between the Ford Expeditions and Chevy Suburbans on I-5 is not really the Vespa's scene.

Which reminds me, I saw a Smart Car around town the other day.


Posted by: Gonerill | Link to this comment | 02-15-08 7:50 PM
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In Taiwan people used Vespas to deliver fair-sized panes of window glass. Maybe not routinely, but once that I saw. A guy sat behind the driver holding the glass.

In Taiwan I also knew a gorgeous flaxen-blond, rosy-cheeked Brazilian woman who drove around in her Vespa. (Sort of like Giselle Bundchen but shorter and blonder). She would have stopped traffic anywhere, but in Taiwan, WOW!


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 02-15-08 7:50 PM
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Tell Audrey Hepburn in Roman Holiday it looks uncool. They're incredibly cool; all compact, brightly colored, and absolutely anti-macho.

Actually, it doesn't look like women can drive them by themselves.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 02-15-08 7:57 PM
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20: Oh, maybe not for highway driving. But in NY? A Vespa'd be sweet.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 02-15-08 7:58 PM
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I should say that I am eating leftover panna cotta that my wife made for me yesterday. It is obscenely good. You may now return to your chicken pita.


Posted by: Gonerill | Link to this comment | 02-15-08 7:59 PM
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What's the San Francisco Fire Department doing on I-5?


Posted by: eb | Link to this comment | 02-15-08 8:01 PM
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Is there any bigger fogey on the internets than parsimon?

Oops. Nobody can tell when I'm teasing.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 02-15-08 8:02 PM
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A Vespa would be perfect for small towns and within cities.


Posted by: Cala | Link to this comment | 02-15-08 8:03 PM
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28

A Vespa would be perfect for small towns and within cities.

Citties east of the Mississippi, maybe.


Posted by: Gonerill | Link to this comment | 02-15-08 8:05 PM
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Citties east of the Mississippi, maybe.

Here you can see that I was thinking about how to spell "Mississippi" while still writing the beginning of the sentence.


Posted by: Gonerill | Link to this comment | 02-15-08 8:06 PM
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30

Citties! Hooray!


Posted by: Cala | Link to this comment | 02-15-08 8:07 PM
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31

Any kind of motor bike is great. They get killer MPG. You just have to be careful as hell, since Americans are terrible drivers. I am almost killed daily on a bike. I cannot imagine what would happen if I were going faster.


Posted by: Willy Voet | Link to this comment | 02-15-08 8:19 PM
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my father used to ride an old red russian Yava motocycle when he was young and i rode behind him holding him like in Roman Holidays
he's been all over all 33 Gobis riding his Yava without roads which is pretty dangerous
you can hit a hidden rock and then accident is like guaranteed


Posted by: read | Link to this comment | 02-15-08 8:20 PM
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33

Oops. Nobody can tell when I'm teasing.

Too late. You've already caught teh Fogey, and like herpes, there's no getting rid of it.


Posted by: gswift | Link to this comment | 02-15-08 8:22 PM
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34

What Vespas are good for (0:25 in this clip).


Posted by: Knecht Ruprecht | Link to this comment | 02-15-08 8:24 PM
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35

Vespas are for those who like to start off the evening with a ride around town; Matins are for early risers.


Posted by: eb | Link to this comment | 02-15-08 8:34 PM
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You've already caught teh Fogey

Bullshit. It's a matter of educating you rubes to the subtleties of this humor. Anyway, the Vespa is pretty! It comes in purple, I hope?

Seriously, my ex had, for several years, a three-wheeled scooter, road-certifiable (required a special license to drive on public roads) -- a powerful, funny-looking and fun little thing, sort of like a moped but lower to the ground and with fatter tires, and could pull a wagon if need be. When he decided to sell it, people were pounding on the door begging for it, no questions asked as to price. Odd.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 02-15-08 8:39 PM
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Did you know that if your BMI is 28, you get bumped into a higher insurance premium? Even if BMI is a bad measure of an individual's fitness and you play with dynamite all day?
|>

35 is awesome.


Posted by: Cala | Link to this comment | 02-15-08 8:40 PM
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ogged, you should be ashamed of yourself. That woman was obviously on an important mission to kill some yakuza, and your frivolous photography could have delayed her!


Posted by: minneapolitan | Link to this comment | 02-15-08 8:44 PM
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I have been told that motorcycles are big in Mongolia, much of which is roadless. Sort of like Wyoming except no roads.

People pay tons of money to do what Read did with her dad.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 02-15-08 8:49 PM
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How do we know it wasn't just a guy with a scarf? Are we taking Ogged's word for it?


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 02-15-08 8:50 PM
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If the scarf-wearer has a sick onion, it's a guy.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 02-15-08 8:54 PM
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Did you know that if your BMI is 28, you get bumped into a higher insurance premium?

Gah. Not for individual use you retards!


Posted by: gswift | Link to this comment | 02-15-08 8:55 PM
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Nobody ever asked for my BMI when I procured my insurance policy, but then I pay through the nose for it, as the phrase goes, as a self-employed person.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 02-15-08 9:00 PM
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44

We're talking a difference of 13 pounds to be back to 'normal weight.'


Posted by: Cala | Link to this comment | 02-15-08 9:02 PM
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45

It's a matter of educating you rubes to the subtleties of this humor.

Teasing is alot of fun, but it's sometimes advisable to build up a certain amount of good will credit with people before teasing them in a way that the rubes might foolishly interpret as judgmental and mean.

I mean that as advice more than rebuke.


Posted by: Di Kotimy | Link to this comment | 02-15-08 9:06 PM
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46

Gah. Not for individual use you retards!

That's only relevant to the person, not the company dealing with thousands of people.


Posted by: Cryptic Ned | Link to this comment | 02-15-08 9:11 PM
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47

Second creepiest post ever. Also second creepiest ogged-stalk, but that post was less creepy than this one.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 02-15-08 9:27 PM
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48

Also: commenting from a plane! Hah!


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 02-15-08 9:28 PM
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When he decided to sell it, people were pounding on the door begging for it, no questions asked as to price. Odd.

"... 'cause I'll have the only one there is around ..."


Posted by: Gonerill | Link to this comment | 02-15-08 9:50 PM
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Real Women don't ride Vespas. They prefer at least 900 ccs of throbbing machinemetal between their legs.


Posted by: bob mcmanus | Link to this comment | 02-15-08 9:58 PM
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51

31: It's not entirely comparable. On a (proper) motorcycle, you can completely outmaneuver cars. Which doesn't completely save you from other peoples mistakes, of course, but if you are careful and paying attention it helps a lot. A bicycle, on the other hand, often can't keep pace, so your options are more limited. At least you can turn well and brake fast.

Scooters are sort of the worst of both worlds though. Too heavy to throw around like a bicycle, too slow to outrun trouble. Worse, the wheels are too small so they don't gyro properly; you don't get the cornering stability of a motorcycle.

But they're small and cheap and easy to park (& ride) in crowded metros, so they're popular. Much more dangerous than a motorcycle (assuming you aren't rat racing the bike)


Posted by: soup biscuit | Link to this comment | 02-15-08 10:15 PM
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51 sounds misleading ... I'm not actually saying bicycles are more dangerous than motorcycles, I'm saying that motorcycles aren't like bicycles but faster.


Posted by: soup biscuit | Link to this comment | 02-15-08 10:20 PM
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53

Searching for an image of the ultra-cool classic Lambretta a friend used to ride, I found this terrific little number equipped with an anti-tank weapon. Suh-weet.


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 02-15-08 10:24 PM
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54

Ogged, this photo was taken right before you ran into her with your car so that you could get her information, right? Or have we taught you nothing?


Posted by: Michael | Link to this comment | 02-15-08 10:30 PM
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Any kind of motor bike is great. They get killer MPG.

Even better, if you want to be super-hippy.


Posted by: Michael | Link to this comment | 02-15-08 10:35 PM
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56

I wish I had read 45 before posting 50


Posted by: bob mcmanus | Link to this comment | 02-15-08 10:37 PM
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That's only relevant to the person, not the company dealing with thousands of people.

But BMI is the kind of thing you use because you have to work with height and weight rather than more detailed data. Since this is a health care insurer, why use such a crude measure? If they're going differentiate rates, they could just mandate yearly checkups and use actual results from tests for blood pressure, cholesterol, etc. Just using a 28 BMI seems so half assed.


Posted by: gswift | Link to this comment | 02-16-08 2:20 AM
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55: If you really want super-hippy transportation, you go with this.


Posted by: feldspar | Link to this comment | 02-16-08 3:38 AM
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56: Er, sorry. I don't mean to be playing civility cop here. I get carried away. I'll stop.


Posted by: Di Kotimy | Link to this comment | 02-16-08 6:30 AM
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60

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Why Harvard undergraduates can't get laid, Exhibit #679.

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Posted by: Knecht Ruprecht | Link to this comment | 02-16-08 6:59 AM
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59: Civility: just one of the many reasons to regret not having gotten it on with Di.


Posted by: Knecht Ruprecht | Link to this comment | 02-16-08 7:13 AM
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Tell me you're not at work right now, Knecht.

And the scary thing for me about 60 was reading it and having my first thought be "What? Math 21 wasn't even hard! They should have the Math 55 people bitching!"


Posted by: Po-Mo Polymath | Link to this comment | 02-16-08 7:24 AM
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I'm not at work right now, PMP. I was looking at online listings of cultural events to plan a date with my wife tonight. And I'm about to take my daughters to the pool, after which we are going to bake red velvet cupcakes. All in all a day to look forward to.

The next four weeks at work promise to suck, though.


Posted by: Knecht Ruprecht | Link to this comment | 02-16-08 7:26 AM
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Glad that you specified 'undergraduates' there, Knecht.


Posted by: Blume | Link to this comment | 02-16-08 7:28 AM
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That does sound good. I always forget that other people wake up early on weekends even when they weren't drunk the night before. I think having little kids has something to do with that, and it frankly strikes me as more of a bug than a feature. Sounds like a good day though.

I'm currently waiting until an appropriate time to go into the living room, rouse my guest, and go out for breakfast. Minutes sure creep by slowly before 10 am.


Posted by: Po-Mo Polymath | Link to this comment | 02-16-08 7:32 AM
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I think having little kids has something to do with that

Or a dissertation chapter due next week.


Posted by: Blume | Link to this comment | 02-16-08 7:34 AM
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Tell me you're not at work right now, Knecht.

I am!

what do I win?

it had better be fucking good as hell or I may start to think I have gone wrong in my life somewhere


Posted by: felix | Link to this comment | 02-16-08 7:38 AM
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If you're in the windy city, I would offer you breakfast as well. Otherwise, solemn reflection may be the order of the day, or at least reflection back to the last paycheck and going "oo, yeah, that was awesome".

66: This week was the huge week o' suckage for me until Thursday. I'm so glad it's over.


Posted by: Po-Mo Polymath | Link to this comment | 02-16-08 7:50 AM
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Y'know, I'm not a big fan of Vespas. It's like riding an emasculated muppet.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 02-16-08 8:19 AM
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The second half of 69 contradicts the first half.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 02-16-08 8:20 AM
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It does?


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 02-16-08 8:23 AM
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Well, sure, because otherwise you'd be implying that riding an enamelled muppet could somehow not be awesome.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 02-16-08 8:25 AM
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Riding an enamelled muppet sounds slippery and difficult.


Posted by: Po-Mo Polymath | Link to this comment | 02-16-08 8:27 AM
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I like my muppets gruff and masculine.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 02-16-08 8:27 AM
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75

Oscar the Grouchocycle


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 02-16-08 8:28 AM
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76

I like my muppets gruff and masculine.

You're hot for Sam the Eagle, are you?


Posted by: Knecht Ruprecht | Link to this comment | 02-16-08 8:31 AM
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77

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Delivery windows of 8a.m. to noon on a Saturday are just evil. You have to get up before 8 just in case, but for every minute after about 8:15 it's just bitter resentment that you didn't get to sleep in.

|>

Animal seems the muppet of choice for gruff and masculine.


Posted by: Di Kotimy | Link to this comment | 02-16-08 8:36 AM
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45: Teasing is alot of fun, but it's sometimes advisable to build up a certain amount of good will credit with people before teasing them in a way that the rubes might foolishly interpret as judgmental and mean.

Okay, Di. By the way, I apologized over in the other thread (smut thread) about the "pathetic" remark, as a short-tempered reaction -- don't know if you saw it.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 02-16-08 8:39 AM
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Animal seems the muppet of choice for gruff and masculine.

Except with Gonzo's nose. Mmmm.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 02-16-08 8:46 AM
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Plus, Gonzo's always pretty desperate, so you know he'll be up for it.

Also, "gonzo's nose" seems to be a popular metaphor for a bent penis


Posted by: Knecht Ruprecht | Link to this comment | 02-16-08 8:49 AM
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77: "Influences?"

"Yer man Onimol from the Moopets."


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 02-16-08 8:52 AM
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Since this is a health care insurer, why use such a crude measure?

Because they're looking for any way to screw you? Plus, being fat is a moral failing, even if you're not actually fat, so you deserve to pay more.


Posted by: m. leblanc | Link to this comment | 02-16-08 8:56 AM
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Animal isn't gruff! You crazy people. Now personally, if I were to ride a muppet I'd pick Rolf. He's so talented.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 02-16-08 8:58 AM
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82: Exactly. I'm not going to claim that shivbunny is in tip-top shape, but while he's carrying extra weight, he can probably bench press the insurance agent. Moreover, I'm pretty sure that being 12 pounds overweight isn't correlated with a high risk of disease, so the 25% surcharge is just a moneymaker.


Posted by: Cala | Link to this comment | 02-16-08 9:05 AM
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78: Appreciate that. Having a solid history of unrecognized sarcasm myself, I am sympathetic.

83: Rolf was always my favorite, mostly 'cause I have a thing for musicians.


Posted by: Di Kotimy | Link to this comment | 02-16-08 9:07 AM
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I should also note that within 60 seconds of posting 77, the delivery guys showed up. Now, I can either go back to sleep or begin the attempt to assemble Ikea furniture.


Posted by: Di Kotimy | Link to this comment | 02-16-08 9:11 AM
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Rowf's a confirmed bachelor, though. In the Muppet Movie, he describes his ideal evening: "I have some dinner, a drink, I sit and read a book. Then I take myself out for a walk and go to bed."


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 02-16-08 9:11 AM
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Rowf's a confirmed bachelor, though. In the Muppet Movie, he describes his ideal evening: "I have some dinner, a drink, I sit and read a book. Then I take myself out for a walk and go to bed."

See? How could you not love him?


Posted by: Di Kotimy | Link to this comment | 02-16-08 9:12 AM
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Rolf sounds like a great roommate. I bet he always comes up with rent on time and invested most of his salary from his high earning years in an internationally diversified stock portfolio heavy on blue chips. When Gonzo is living in penury after blowing everything on coke and high-class hookers willing to do the sick, depraved things necessary to get him off, Rolf will take pity on his old castmate and take him out to a nice big lunch every Tuesday.


Posted by: Po-Mo Polymath | Link to this comment | 02-16-08 9:23 AM
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Damn, maybe I have to switch to Gonzo.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 02-16-08 9:37 AM
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for every minute after about 8:15 it's just bitter resentment that you didn't get to sleep in.

When did sleeping until 8 am not count as sleeping in?


Posted by: will | Link to this comment | 02-16-08 9:38 AM
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90: You're saying that you're willing to do the sick, depraved things necessary to get him off?


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 02-16-08 9:44 AM
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92: gotta ride the horse that's goin' where you're goin'.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 02-16-08 9:47 AM
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94

Make sure you bring your own cup. You can't depend on Gonzo for that, even though it's for him.


Posted by: Michael | Link to this comment | 02-16-08 9:57 AM
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95

Forget the cup, just make him bring Link Hogthrob and Dr. Julius Strangepork.


Posted by: Po-Mo Polymath | Link to this comment | 02-16-08 10:03 AM
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Did you know that the average Harvard student has 0-0.5 partners a year? So if you have a threesome with me and your roommate, you'll already be in the A-range of the bell curve!

I believe that you can't actually make that inference based solely on the average; you'd need to know the standard deviation as well.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 02-16-08 10:06 AM
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at least I'm not snapping photos.

Women, do you call the police when a strange man attempts to take your picture in public place?


Posted by: will | Link to this comment | 02-16-08 10:09 AM
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OT: Reading this reminds me that looking at elections is kind of like looking at any part of a sofa with a microscope. Way less inviting/encouraging than you can imagine.


Posted by: NĂ¡pi | Link to this comment | 02-16-08 10:14 AM
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Plus the properties of the distribution. It can't be a bell curve or anything approximating one since no one, no matter how unattractive, has a negative amount of sex in a year and a fair number have at least 1 partner per year.

I'd bet the numbers approximate a poisson distribution with a lambda of about one-half, but that really drags the line down, y'know?

Maybe you should just give a percentage cutoff from the empirical distribution, with a 95% confidence interval if it's based off a sample. Concision and precision get into other peoples' pants, right?


Posted by: Po-Mo Polymath | Link to this comment | 02-16-08 10:16 AM
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So, obviously, the reason that harvard undergrads can't get laid is that they play fast and loose with statistical concepts.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 02-16-08 10:18 AM
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When did sleeping until 8 am not count as sleeping in?

But getting up for an 8 am delivery requires waking up by 7:30! Plus, it began counting as not sleeping in the minute it became possible every other weekend to not have to get out of bed.


Posted by: Di Kotimy | Link to this comment | 02-16-08 10:32 AM
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Don't get soft on me now, Di.

Sleeping until 8 am is decadent and slothful.


Posted by: will | Link to this comment | 02-16-08 10:35 AM
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Sleeping past 8 is even more decadent and slothful. You'd be amazed how good it is to be decadent and slothful.


Posted by: Di Kotimy | Link to this comment | 02-16-08 10:43 AM
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Sleeping until nine is sweet and fitting.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 02-16-08 10:44 AM
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I could have slept the whole morning.

100: Statistical concepts are virginal.


Posted by: Cala | Link to this comment | 02-16-08 10:53 AM
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I believe that you can't actually make that inference based solely on the average; you'd need to know the standard deviation as well.

I guess the move the make the QRR tougher wasn't all that.


Posted by: Knecht Ruprecht | Link to this comment | 02-16-08 12:11 PM
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107

What's the San Francisco Fire Department doing on I-5?

Maybe he's on the way to Camp Mather, which is owned by the city. It's up right by the Hetch Hetchy reservoir in Yosemite. I've been camping there and seen SF fire trucks patrolling around the dirt roads.


Posted by: Mo MacArbie | Link to this comment | 02-16-08 1:15 PM
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Re the shape of the sex partner distribution, I happen to remember seeing thisarticle last year, which is based on a Norwegian survey. Fig. 1 has some histograms over two intervals. The intro says that power law and skewed log normal distributions have been customarily used to fit these sort of data.

So yes, the hypothetical Harvard student should be shot down for not doing his homework.


Posted by: Otto von Bisquick | Link to this comment | 02-16-08 2:37 PM
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Sleep in while you can, kiddies. Sleeping is harder when you're old. You're never really tired and never really rested.

Fairly often I get up at 4-5 am because I can't sleep. Nothing to brag about. At least I have no job, so I can take naps somewhere around 10 am or 2 pm.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 02-16-08 4:31 PM
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