For the purposes of this exercise, consider me single...laydeez.
Once every four years? You bloggers are screwed.
2 - People can step up other times. This is just for the shy ones.
(Or the people who still think meeting people from the internet is weird.)
This is going to go horribly, horribly awry. Do we really want confirmation that w-lfs-n is the mack daddy daddy mack of the whole blogosphere? Won't someone please think of the children?
Is it L'il Abner Day again already?
Does Stupefyin' Jones blog anywhere? Because I'd like to comment on her forum, if you know what I mean and I think you do. Like my daddy says, the Kickapoo Joy Juice needs more body, so let's add a body to it.
commenters should be able to ask that special blogger they feel they have a connection with out on a date
Even the married bloggers! Laydeez.
I've always had a thing for that third lurker from Sheboygan. So, drinks at 8:00?
Wait, bloggers are men and commenters are women? Becks is teh sexist.
I meant sexiEst. Becks, wanna get a drink with me sometime?
7 is just trying to get some free child care.
It sounds great, but there's a waiting list for Hilzoy and Hapax is already married.
I don't know what any of the bloggers here look like. Except apoptoser.
Pass.
apoptoser
How many nerds do you think are going to get your little biology joke?
Are you saying I'm not your type, Ned?
I don't know what any of the bloggers here look like.
Lookist.
9 - I didn't mean to imply that men are bloggers and women commenters. Just trying to draw the parallel to the traditional "turnabout" that was done in Ye Olden Days.
That said, let's drink!
4: I'm married and people still think it's weird.
15: I got it too. I would bet that a lot of nerds are going to get his little biology joke.
I understand, laydeez, if, out of concern for Tim's delicacy, you don't want to reveal your feelings for me in public. Remember, my email address is given on the main page.
I understand, laydeez, if, out of concern for Tim's delicacy, you don't want to reveal your feelings for me
1.ogged, but he won't like my nostrils :(
2. ben w-lfs-n if he was older like 12 yrs
3. John Emerson again 12 yrs rule, alas!
why 12 yrs difference is not allright is because one can be each other's parent! hypothetically and it's kinda taboo at least in my culture
in Japan females give chocolates to their preferred male, it could be coworkers, girichoko, on the Valentine's and get in return something on 14th, March
i remember i got handkerchiefs
Woohoo!
Have I professed a nostril preference? That seems unlikely, even for me.
23- The rule is age/2 + 7. (If you're 20, you can date between 17 and 26. If you're 50, you can date between 32 and 86, etc.) See here for more analysis.
I keep re-freshing this, hoping Jesurgislac is listing me!
This is like valentine's day all over again. My cubby didnt get any cards!
now i have to say something like pwnd, right?
but i'm glad to know that you are OKing hypothetically of course, sorry, the bpl
Alas. Read is too old and too young at the same time.
For example, I would be wrong to date anyone older than 108 or younger than 37.5.
Japanese chocolate surprised me with its excellence. Even the humble Men's Pocky beats anything not packaged as gormay chocolate stateside.
Nostrils are definitely an underexplored locus of attraction.
So many of the ladies here seem either nice, funny, or interestingly unpredictable; I guess the little-kid valentines that go to the whole class would defeat the purpose.
Too bad, I hear 110 year olds are great in bed. Just wait a year and you'll be eligible.
There were 104 year old twins here in town until just this year. But I blew my chances.
ogged, I think you know where I am going, love.
My daughter's name is Sadie - she is only 2, but does this mean that on this day she gets to ask out 2 bloggers?
I hear 110 year olds are great in bed
Until their hips snap.
Hip replacement is for a reason, Apo.
Until their hips snap.
Like a swimmer?
30-odd comments and no calls for Labs. Because everyone knows he's mine?
Sybil, my dearest, it sounds like you're going to have to fight the ninja.
The only active bloggers who aren't actually married or dating are labs & ben, right? So this is actually just an effort to get the philosophers laid.
AWB, hypothetically want to go out for a hypothetical drink and hypothetical sushi?
this is actually just an effort to get the philosophers laid.
No wonder it only happens every 4 years.
40: Would Becks have put up the post if she wasn't available for some hot lurker lovin'? I think not.
40: I thought it was Becks trying to get dates.
43, 44:
I agree. I assumed this post was so that Becks could get some loving.
45: Remaining indifferent to Apo, I love you.
These chips, I'm calling them in.
Remaining indifferent to Apo
Inconceivable!
I believe it's chits you want, SB.
This is all about the assertion of the w-lfs-n sex hegemony.
When the chips are down, it's a good idea to call in one's chits.
Dinner. Asking for cash money is tacky.
Okay then! Because dinner's going to be much cheaper than the gas to get from Cali to Kackalacky.
I expect dessert, though.
IYKWIM.
I'd love to ask Lizard out, but Molly and I have a hot date tonight. We are driving to my in-laws so they can watch the kids. After that, all of Ashland, Ohio will open for our evening's pleasure!
We were thinking of seeing Sweeny Todd.
OH GOD, HERE COMES THE CREME BRULEE!
2 - People can step up other times. This is just for the shy ones.
Wouldn't it be easier to set up a dance card?
max
['Dance Cards from the Event Horizon.']
y'know, they say that politics is show business for ugly people. Makes yer think, dunnit?
I'd love to ask Lizard out
The line starts behind me, Helpy-Chalk.
Between w-lfs-n and Ogged, I'd have to pick...Alameida.
If I spent money on my eyebrows, more people than just SCMT would be after me.
Show business is ..... politics for dumb people? Banking for the innumerate? War for cowards?
OH GOD, HERE COMES THE CREME BRULEE!
To paraphrase the old joke: If it's burnt, you were doing it too fast.
The nostril thing read references is from a post title of yours, ogged.
I don't think there are enough single men in the Mineshaft. (I'm too old for Teo by any sensible metric.) And I have enough trouble with hopeless hidden crushes on married men in real life.
I'm getting all of the lovin' I need. Only trying to help out my brethren bloggers.
wait, emir are you a woman or just like men?
I need to pay attention more often.
65, 70: Woohoo! On the Internet, grooming really doesn't matter!
I'm getting all of the lovin' I need.
It's about quality, not quantity, Becks.
On the Internet, grooming really doesn't matter!
There are lots and lots of websites dedicated to naked, hairy women.
The nostril thing read references is from a post title of yours, ogged.
Ah, so it is.
It's about quality, not quantity, Becks.
I stand by my 76.
82: I understand you have to say that in this forum, Becks. But we're here for you, all the same.
Will, I was going to say that all was revealed here but that's not obvious from the thread. See this one for the unexciting explanation. Also I don't comment frequently enough to maintain an identity.
84 makes a very good point. Arguably, all the lovin' people *need* = no lovin' at all.
Arguably, all the lovin' people *need* = no lovin' at all.
Everybody
Needs somebody
Everybody
Needs somebody
To love
I need you, you you
[etc.]
all the lovin' people *need* = no lovin' at all
Maybe among your people.
Arguably, all the lovin' people *need* = no lovin' at all.
The greatest psychologist of the age disagrees when he has one of his characters proclaim I am human and I need to be loved, just like everybody else does
.
89: That's no way dissuade me, w-lfs-n.
Alright, I'm off for my hott date. Wish me luck.
I am reminded of the time when Kr/stenko used "Don't you want somebody to love" as an illustrative relative clause of characteristic, and reiterate that I am disappointed in the me-supporting turnout here.
92: Per ogged's broader theory, that's probably because no one wants to indicate to the wide horde of admirers that you are officially in play.
I'm too old for Teo by any sensible metric.
Let's not be too hasty, now.
Given the idiosyncracies of ogged's theory of broads, I'm not sure why anyone would give credence to a yet broader theory of his.
Insensible metrics, it's too dark to read!
95: Not idiosyncratic at all. Indeed, the obvious accuracy of his other theories should give you confidence in this latest one.
Emir, that didnt help much.
It doesnt really matter whether you are a boy or girl (to me.) I was just curious bc I always read you as a boy. It was more about me than you.
Read always seems like a boy to me too.
"He is mine, this disarming giant, this ardent wag, this gin-drinking anagrammatist, this mind's emir, ma tendresse, ma vie!"
I'm a girl - thought it was somewhere in that second thread. I've often been taken for a guy on the internet, which is highly amusing to my RL friends.
100:
Interesting. I cannot identify why I thought you were a boy.
"Emir", as an English word, is masculine (although I can't think of the feminine equivalent). Probably affected your thinking without your being consciously aware of it.
English nouns don't have genders.
Emirs, the people, are men.
88, 89: "Arguably." I did not say that this was my pov.
I don't think I can fight for you ogged. See the wimpiness I have been referencing all week. Not meant to be.
It doesnt really matter whether you are a boy or girl (to me.)
Broad minded, you are.
41: Any hypothetical time, Chopper!
103: but English has gendered nouns, aviatrix.
I was debating arguing that. I think w-lfs-n's position, which I think is right in some sense, is that 'aviatrix' and similar aren't nouns with grammatically feminine gender, which doesn't exist in English, but nouns that denote people of female biological sex, and calling them gendered nouns is at least inexact.
Broad minded, you are.
Bigger dating pool, too.
Saying "The aviatrix ate his breakfast" is not ungrammatical, though it describes a logical impossibility.
Saying "The aviatrix ate his breakfast" is not ungrammatical, though it describes a logical impossibility.
"The aviatrix and her son sat down at the table one morning. The son wasn't hungry, so the aviatrix ate his breakfast along with her own."
Saying "The aviatrix ate his breakfast" is not ungrammatical, though it describes a logical impossibility.
It was a lazy Sunday. John Wayne wandered down into the kitchen at 11, wondering if the plums he'd been saving in the icebox were still there or if that damn Earhart had made good on her threats to take them. He entered the room just in time to see her take a bite from the second. The pit from the first lay there on the floor. She hadn't even bothered to pick it up. He stood there fuming. The aviatrix ate his breakfast. Finally he returned upstairs in silence. He thought: hell is other people.
Ned didn't say anything about the sentence "the son wasn't hungry, so the aviatrix ate his breakfast along with her own", Knecht.
You're just sore about being pwned, w-lfs-n.
Mine is obviously superior to yours, and well worth the twenty or thirty seconds extra time it took.
I knew you guys were going to do that. Geez.
Anyway, "The aviatrix ate their breakfast" IS ungrammatical. Ceteris parabus.
107: Woohoo! I still hypothetically got it!
Ma Rainey and Beethoven once unwrapped a bedroll to the players now in rehearsal around the flagpole ... but the aviatrix ate their breakfast.
I always knew that read was female, just as I guessed long before anyone that Amish Lovelock was male -- I apparently have a talent for figuring out the gender of Japanese commenters.
Oh shit. I've just been informed that read's not Japanese!
Adam Kotsko: objectively pro-they-all-look-alike.
I *told* you to play it off like you were joking. Dummy.
why, i'm not Japanese and male
i like many things Japanese though, not anime and SMAP
i'm a 100% of Mongol descent, within Mongols though there are also distinctions, so i'm a half-buriad half-khalkh(borjigin) Mongol
about my unmaleness i have no explanations
i thought i sound girlish enough
I change my mind. After reading 113, I choose w-lfs-n.
I change my mind. After reading 113, I choose w-lfs-n.
Gawdfuckingdammit! I told you this would happen! And now it has begun.
109: oh, I pretty much knew I was wrong. I was just trying to provoke w-lfs-n, which Ned did better than I did.
Shit, I've had secret blog crushes on all of you at one time or another. My blog crushes even extend to those lurkers who haven't even commented yet, but are watching, reading, ever-present and silent... those are perhaps my favourites. This constant state of blog-arousal has sparked a forever-fluttering heart condition that has no remedy.
I am deeply and passionately in lust with all of you.
Will you be my leap-year laydeez (gents included)?
With love,
Flitty McFlutter
PS This love note is not a joke.
Based on a quick look at your blog, absolutely. I'll even overlook the fact that you seem to be a Canadian.
132: I am and have long been America's Foremost Slut Encourager! When others attacked Slut-o-ween, I defended it. When...I'm sure there have been other instances.
You've been awfully discouraging to poor young w-lfs-n, Tim.
What is the point of a thread like this if a quick search in it for my name doesn't turn up ten or twenty hits, hmm?
Ah, but if they only knew who you really were, they'd be languishing after you, restrained only by your assumed unattainability.
Psst!...Gonerill...I think 137 is LB's way of asking you out.
130: Purrrrrrrrr....
133: same as above.
Gonerill, you are the spice in my masalla naan, you are the sugar in my curry; you are the whiskers on my cat. What I mean to say is: It is possible to live without you, but it would be a dreadful and dreary experience.
I'm off to compose some petrarchan sonnets for each of you. (I must woo before I lust...)
I am slightly wounded by the fact that w-lfs-n isn't responding to my blatant come on.
Alas, to be that girl at the Sadie Hawkins dance.
Reminds me of going stag to Prom because I was on Prom Committee, and watching the boy I longed for dance with some other girl.
126: I repent in dust and ashes.
You've been awfully discouraging to poor young w-lfs-n, Tim.
There's a difference between a slut and a young Rasputin.
143: w-lfs-n doesn't "have" sex; w-lfs-n is sex.
There is a sense in which SCMT is actually the one most aggressively hitting on w-lfs-n.
You've noticed that, have you?
If, of course, implying that someone is a nun-raper can be said to be a form of courtship.
If w-lfs-n ever had sex, he would cease to be w-lfs-n. Teo, by contrast, will fully become Teo when he finally has sex.
If, of course, implying that someone is a nun-raper can be said to be a form of courtship.
Did you hear that faint poink! noise? It was the sound of a fetish site manifesting out of nothing. I do not mean a site dedicated to a fetish for nun-raping, I mean a website dedicated to a fetish for suggesting that another is a nun-rapist. No nuns are harmed, it's mainly just people shouting nun-raper! at one another and then having sex.
Did you hear that faint poink! noise? It was the sound of a fetish site manifesting out of nothing.
Rule 34 of the internet.
After that, all of Ashland, Ohio will open for our evening's pleasure!
I've been through Ashland, Ohio. I can't say that I am envious.
In the Li'l Abner comic strip, Sadie Hawkins was the daughter of one of Dogpatch's earliest settlers, Hekzebiah Hawkins. When she reached the age of 35, still a spinster,
I've only ever been out on one date with a man, and it was indescribably boring, mostly because the man was a terrible bore.
We met over the intranet. We were both working for IBM, but in his case he actually liked it. I should have known better.
No offense, Will, but I think I'll still hold out for Hilzoy or Hapax.
I got the social anxiety bad, me. Y'all stay over there on the back side of the screen, thanx.