What kind of monster fucks Elmo and throws Ernie off the cliff?
Seems you have a merely modern understanding of punishment and sex, brother Tim.
I gotta agree with Tim here. Elmo's voice alone would surely kill any prurient thoughts dead in their tracks. Whereas Ernie's kind of a troublemaker, which might be kind of fun.
What kind of monster fucks Elmo and throws Ernie off the cliff?
Cookie Monster?
1. Participants in that blog know who sinthome is.
2. Kot/sko occasionally posts IM transcripts on The Weblog.
Therefore, Kot/sko is A.
2: Choosing Elmo over Ernie is tantamount to choosing pedophilia over a mature, stable gay relationship. It's not simply morally sickening, it's homophobic. If being postmodern means nailing children, I stand happily among the only modern. The question, o-Emerson, is what you are doing over there.
Aha, my plan—a display of overweening confidence in a false conclusion—worked, and I have chased a clue out of ogged!
Truly, a move worthy of Columbo. Now, ogged, just one more thing...
Angela Landsbury would've had this shit solved by now.
I get the feeling that A and B are not necessarily the same people every time.
Poor Sibyl. Looks like Ogged's a bigger fan of Murder, She Wrote than you are.
If you get B to vibrate fast enough, she produces sexist overtones, too.
What can I say, you got me. And ageist to boot.
There's a reason the Unfogged Council hasn't designated you a phronimos.
That set a record -- fastest time from clicking the link to adding the RSS feed to GReader. There should be a techy phrase for that. Link-to-feed speed?
Yeah: that the Council itself lacks phronesis.
But Ben, you promised that the dirty old man game would stay a secret!
Just because I wouldn't indulge the two of you and your amputee fetish. Hmph.
"I was boiling water" is pretty funny.
So this blog is basically bash.org reworked for IM?
that is, like, the third fucking time you have correcting my spelling in a non-substantive matter. Angela knows how to separate the significant from the frivolous.
that is, like, the third fucking time you have correcting my spelling in a non-substantive matter
It's just the hit-and-run-away method of flirting, transmuted to blogs. Do I have to explain everything today?
that is, like, the third fucking time you have correcting my spelling in a non-substantive matter.
All of the darn professors and professors-to-be cannot put the red pen down.
my ambition was to comment on the threads until someone starts correcting me
at first it was killing the threads of course
now it's evolving to leaving, i mean having the will power
(Plus, when I added the feed to GR, its author came up as "Adam." I know, cheating, but still.)
Is it possible that the person who created this blog wanted to be anonymous and shouldn't be punished for being a little sloppy?
Not punished? But how will we amuse ourselves? I'll bet there's a Styles section article in this.
1. Fine, it's me, you stupid motherfuckers.
2. If you decide to link to this, please to not include my name in your post. Why the fuck do you think that Ogged didn't name me if it was me? I knew people on the Internet mostly had Asperger's, but COME THE FUCK ON.
3. As Zippy astutely points out, A and B are not the same person in each post. On the ones posted thus far, I am one of the conversation partners, but not consistently either A or B. Some future conversations will not include me at all -- including some where my name shows up as the poster. The point of the blog is the dialogue itself, not the "characters."
Also, w-lfs-n -- does it occur to you that in the (now changed) post you cite, it is B and not A who has apparently written a book?
I wonder if we should name indiscretion errors after w-lfs-n.
38: so was bash.org the inspiration, or did you come up with it not knowing of that site?
The point of the blog is the dialogue itself, not the "characters."
Yes, but we like the characters. (What, you think we keep you around 'cause you're pretty?)
I'd never heard of the site. I posted an IM conversation last week, then it occurred to me that it would be a good format for a cross between a blog and something like an online comic.
I wonder if we should name indiscretion errors after w-lfs-n.
you mean something like?
`This thread is temporarily unavailable due to a w-lfs-n. I'll put it back once the readact-o-bots have finished'
we need another name for typos leading to strange punctuation.
I wonder if we should name indiscretion errors after w-lfs-n.
The surname is suitable for pseudoscience: w-lfs-n Anomalies, a w-lfs-n Event, w-lfs-nite, the Higgs w-lfs-n, etc.
Oh, come on, name Kostko in the post. Good selection, high quality, low prices. Don't let him intimidate you.
you mean something like?
No, I mean like this.
43: readact-o-bots
After we have the read/act bots working all we need to add is post hoc rationalization and then AI is done!
I was going to say that the site is bullshit, because a) why should we believe they're actual conversations especially given b) there are no typos in the entire thing, of spelling or punctuation (except for the non-capitalization). For pity's sake, even Ben & I make the occasional typo on a full keyboard.
But since we have Kot/sko's word for it, I guess I have to believe that a) it's real and b) Kot/sko has very high standards for his IM correspondents.
No, I mean like this.
Cross-posted to Standpipe's blog.
Why the fuck do you think that Ogged didn't name me if it was me?
Maybe he didn't know.
37: that was, in fact, part of my very reasoning.
The only thing you really need to have read from bash.org.
I say let's let bygones be bygones!
Bygones will be bygones of their own accord, or not. We do not "let" them be anything.
Keep bygones open and bleeding like a wound. Stab them repeatedly so that they won't heal. Pick at them like a meth-head with a zit.
Sir Kraab does have a point. The spelling is lightly edited, but now I don't know why I thought that was necessary or beneficial.
If an unhealed bygone gets infected, it becomes a regret. Suppurating regrets express remorse, which spreads by contact between patients with unwashed hands.
The spelling is lightly edited, but now I don't know why I thought that was necessary or beneficial.
"The spelling was lightly edited,"
Bygones and proud! Ashamed no more! Let bygones be flamboyant bygones!
52: Chicken of the Infinite? Didn't that used to be "cock"?
but now I don't know why I thought that was necessary or beneficial.
It detracts, even.
So are we shoving K's identity back into a box? Because I do want to know why one would pick Elmo over Ernie. And not just because I have--and love--the same shirt as Ernie.
I wasn't the one who picked Elmo.
All your friends talk like you.
I wasn't the one who picked Elmo.
Who did you have the hots for instead?
I wasn't the one who picked Elmo.
If only you had a way to get in touch with that person. And why is Oscar the obvious friend? Is this another "liberal guy" phenomenon? He's an grouchy old man; I bet he votes for McCain.
A little preview: a future chat will offer a fresh perspective on Elmo vs. Ernie vs. Oscar. A great reason to add the site to your RSS feed!
I have--and love--the same shirt as Ernie
This is so problematic, I don't even know where to start.
68: This isn't going to be a FNL situation? I don't think I can take yet another "will they kill the show or won't they?" dealeo.
I posted an IM conversation last week, then it occurred to me that it would be a good format for a cross between a blog and something like an online comic.
This genre was done first and best in 1996's seminal Dave Barry in Cyberspace, with the added frisson of being based on his actual extramarital romance leading to his second marriage, or so many think.
On the model of o-earnest and m-fun, it seems to me that indiscretion errors should be known as w-errors. w-lfs-n's new nickname could be "The Werrorwolf."
70: We have enough material already in the system to go one post each weekday for a month -- plus none of the people involved have even come close to exhausting their IM logs.
72: I will fight you on WIE's to the death. "Fuck to oboe" is already gone.
You know, this non-anonymity thing is kind of nice, too -- I'd just like to make it so that Google doesn't show me as connected to a blog where people are cracking jokes about pedophilia, etc.
And of course there's a simple solution to that, removing the blog from Google.
76: I couldn't manage the length; I'm afraid mine's more of a stiletto.
You really are all about preserving the old traditions, SCMT.
78 is a classical Unfogged comment, the likes of which have been all too rare of late.
Maybe he didn't know.
Yes, w-lfs-n, but the alternate possibility that the name wasn't mentioned for a reason--coupled with the fact that the name wasn't on the linked blog itself--might, perhaps, have suggested caution.
To most people, that is.
why is Oscar the obvious friend? Is this another "liberal guy" phenomenon?
No; I've always loved Oscar.
But even if you have the terrible taste not to love Oscar, what, you want to be friends with Elmo? Or Ernie? Jesus, Ernie is so fucking annoying. "Hahaha, Bert, I'm just so lovably clueless! How could you possibly be angry at me when I fuck things up over and over again? Hahaha!"
"And why is Oscar the obvious friend?"
Would you fuck a guy who lives in a trashcan?
even if you have the terrible taste not to love Oscar
Oscar makes B feel okay about the state of her house.
80-82: Listen, you sick socialist twitches: you can't fuck Elmo, because he's obviously just a child (this rule doesn't appear to apply to those in the seminary, so K may be fine). Oscar's an old man who lives in a trash can: his healthcare costs are going to go through the roof over time. Ernie is clearly the bachelor shop teacher who just "can't seem to find the right girl"; he'll be less annoying when he's less lonely.
The appropriate outcome is clear: you fuck Ernie, friend Elmo, and toss the old man.
Would you fuck a guy who lives in a trashcan?
Ha! I remember that Modern Love column!
83: Yeah, my friend/realtor came over today, and I totally refused to apologize for my house, and then we went to her place to drop off my kid to play with hers while we looked at houses, and *of course* her fucking house looks like they have a maid in ever damn week, I swear to god.
But it's not the state of the house that makes me love Oscar (though what the fuck; it's *his* trash can--mind your own beeswax). It's the fact that he's a cranky bastard who doesn't give a shit if people think he's a cranky bastard. He refuses to succumb to the normalizing happy bullshit that surrounds him. (And his nastiness isn't bigotry disguised as "I'm just saying what everyone else thinks," either, so it's an okay kind of nastiness, at that.)
Ernie's not lonely. He fucking lives with Bert, quite happily. It's poor goddamn Bert who's lonely, because his boyfriend is a cheerful idiot. (Who is probably great in bed--I mean, Bert's gotta have a reason for putting up with him.)
You know who often makes the seminary-pedophile connection? The Troll of Sorrow.
Ernie is not clueless, B, he's deliberately annoying. Have you ever watched this program?
He is deliberately annoying, I totally agree. But the "just clueless" thing is the excuse people generally make for themselves (or others) in such situations. *I* think such people should be slapped, personally, and I'd totally vote for Ernie over the cliff if Elmo weren't so much *more* annoying. Since Elmo is clearly unsuitable as either a friend or a fuck, however, I vote for hate-fucking Ernie and then going out for a beer with Oscar, to bitch about having hate-fucked Ernie.
Yes, w-lfs-n, but the alternate possibility that the name wasn't mentioned for a reason--coupled with the fact that the name wasn't on the linked blog itself--might, perhaps, have suggested caution.
I love a mystery.
I vote for hate-fucking Ernie and then going out for a beer with Oscar, to bitch about having hate-fucked Ernie
Brilliant.
what i liked best is the grass picture with dew
but the conversations are ok funny too
if the comments were on, i would comment
If an unhealed bygone gets infected, it becomes a regret. Suppurating regrets express remorse, which spreads by contact between patients with unwashed hands.
But if an infected bygone is lodged too deep under the surface, and the swelling infection cannot drain, it becomes a grudge. If left untreated, an inflamed grudge can turn into a painful obsession.
Home remedies for grudges include topical application of the salve of rationalization, which can help bring the grudge to a head, where it can be dispatched in a painful but brief application of venting. The wound is then covered with the bandage of shame to prevent further infection.
In more serious cases, professional intervention may be required, often through a procedure called retribution. Doctors counsel against trying to treat an inflamed obsession with a do-it-yourself retribution procedure; this can further inflame the obsession while creating further unpleasant complications.
Insurance plans rarely cover these treatments.
93: will, is that you?
Most certainly not. Will treats his grudges with the homeopathic tincture of forgiveness. There are no controlled scientific studies to testify to its efficacy, but millions of people trust in its power.
you can't fuck Elmo, because he's obviously just a child
As the drunken Elmofucker in question, I wouldn't say it's obvious that Elmo is a child. Childlike and retarded, maybe, but not a child. If that is the case, fucking that giggling idiot is no more pedophilia than is fucking Michael Jackson.
The difference between fucking Ernie and fucking Elmo is that Elmo (a) doesn't seem the sort (unlike Ernie) who would drunk dial me at 3 am, wanting to know when I'm leaving my wife for him; and (b) would laugh himself silly and use his already semi-orgasmic mannerisms to great effect -- ELMO CUMMING ... ELMO CUMMING! Let's face it, Ernie is more trouble than he's worth. He'd do nothing but talk & sob about his betrayal of Bert during the deed that you'd have to smother his face in the pillow to get the job done.
A grudge is the product of skill, dedication, and high art. I have no idea what Knecht is on about.
96: I spoke, of course, of will's oft-remarked experience in the world of grudge-laden divorce proceedings.
97 does make a very good point about the possible downsides of fucking Ernie.
But no biggie. With people like that, you don't have to feel any compunction about blocking their calls.
I personally get my jollies watching Elmo and Ernie fuck each other, in my terrarium, under a heat lamp, with a only a piece of driftwood for furniture or sex prop.
I look forward to a photoshopped morph of Elmo and Alan Cumming.
On the other hand, Knecht is a wise man.
We decided to spell it "coming," AWB. And interracial porn is totally dispreferred in the blogosphere nowadays.
104: We decided to spell it "coming,"
By their shibboleths ye shall know them.
ogged, you have no imaginable excuse to watche Sesame Street.
104: We decided to spell it "coming,"
I'll keep that in mind. In any event, my preference is "arriving." A pool of arrival on the sheets is much preferred.
ogged, you have no imaginable excuse to watche Sesame Street.
You ain't kidding, brother. The fact that I've countenanced all the Muppet talk that happens on this blog is evidence that I just might be a saint.
evidence that I just might be a saint.
I'm not sure, given the totality of other available evidence, that this statement is what the lawyers call facially true.
86 is exactly right.
I once commenced a seduction with "The Rainbow Connection", which doesn't nearly half make up for the fact that it led, eventually, to "Kashmir".
Wrongshore survived his encounter with the w-lfs-n. Reassuring.
The encounter in 111 is not the same encounter in 110. (Did I miss antecedentary reference that would make that clear?)
It was fun meeting ben.
I once ... "Kashmir"
Once upon a time. Good times, I insist! Threads converge: musical reminders.
all the Muppet talk that happens on this blog is evidence that I just might be a saint.
I think that it's just priests that have been implicated in the pedophilia scandals.
interracial porn is totally dispreferred in the blogosphere
An outrageous development. I am outraged by this development.
DS, ogged makes things up. You know that.
114: I had the realization recently that the market for love stories (romance, erotica, whatever) with interracial couples is far, far underserved in certain categories.* If I had the time to go talent-scouting, I am absolutely certain that I could singlehandedly launch a new corner of the market.
(*With few exceptions, it's stereotype city: white woman/Native American man; white man/Asian woman; blah blah.)
I know, I know. The prospect of having to go without the weekly question "So, is it true what they say about black guys?" reared its head for a moment, and I panicked. I'm fine now.
If I had the time to go talent-scouting
IYKWIMAITYD
104 is a masterpiece of in-jokes and deliberate misreading. I'll take my grievances to Standpipe's blog.
my preference is "arriving." A pool of arrival on the sheets is much preferred
Maybe one of the Japanese-speaking commenters can validate this, but I have heard that in Japan, one "goes" when one has an orgasm.
In German, it comes to you ("mir kommt's").
There's a nice moment in the movie Go when the title is deployed in the fashion 122 describes.
my preference is "arriving." A pool of arrival on the sheets is much preferred
Maybe one of the Japanese-speaking commenters can validate this, but I have heard that in Japan, one "goes" when one has an orgasm.
In German, it comes to you ("mir kommt's").
my preference is "arriving."
Would sure give the term "arriviste" a whole new lease on life.
I have heard that in Japan, one "goes" when one has an orgasm.
They leave after an orgasm here, too.
In Soviet Union, party brings.... oh, never mind.
It's OK, my cake jokes went over everyone's head yesterday.
They leave after an orgasm here, too.
Totally unfair. I think I speak for all the men here when I say we have the decency to stick around at least long enough to to take the last beer from her fridge and maybe have a bowl of cereal before stealing from her bag of weed on the way out the door.
Totally unfair.
I was talking about the women.
I think I speak for all the men here when I say we
...fall asleep immediately.
I support interracial threesomes as long as it's two girls, because I'm a feminist.
The sex ed books I read in my youth said that you shouldn't leave until about 15 minutes after the orgasm, 20 minutes if service was especially good. During that time you should be affectionate, cuddly, etc.
Others don't believe in tipping and believe that it so=hould be calculated as part of the bill at a flat rate.
133: I'm not sure Filipinas and Thais are technically different races, wd.
I understood your cake jokes, Gonerill.
I took that for granted, slol. It was these other people I was despairing about.
I was talking about the women.
Wait, women can have orgasms?
Maybe one of the Japanese-speaking commenters can validate this, I have heard that in Japan, one "goes" when one has an orgasm.
Yep. Iku!
Good thing I didn't know how to say, "Who cares?"
Wait, women can have orgasms?
Like when we're shopping, and we see a really great item marked half-off.
Or when we notice that our hair looks better than our friends'.
138: Women were not able to have orgasms until the late 1960s, so I understand the confusion.
Are there fewer cake jokes in the reading group?
143, 145: If those questions were answered, it would just prolong the magic.
I'm belatedly coming back to this thread and realizing that it illustrates a crying need for a Wikipedia page on various languages' expressions/slang for orgasm. Maybe it already exists (only a cursory check so far).