Re: Hailstones Are Always The Size Of Sports Equipment, Ice Shelves Are The Size Of States

1

The last time I was in Los Angeles (4 years ago this month), there was an outdoor ice skating rink set up in front of one of the decadent rich people hotels on the Avenue of the Stars in Century City. It was 70 or so and people were just skating around on it, big as billy-be-damned.

There is no limit to the depravity of rich people.


Posted by: minneapolitan | Link to this comment | 03-27-08 6:04 AM
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They set up an outdoor ice skating rink on the roof of Whole Foods in downtown Austin every year. I have never seen this ridiculousness in person.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 03-27-08 6:13 AM
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Skating rinks are stupid. I don't want to go in little circles. I want to skate free, across the open country.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 03-27-08 6:21 AM
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Maybe the Pentagon could use it to resurrect Project Habakkuk.

Or the Saudis could realize their old dream of supplying drinking water from icebergs.

BTW, how many "football fields" are there in a "state"?


Posted by: Knecht Ruprecht | Link to this comment | 03-27-08 6:24 AM
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I want to skate free, across the open country.

Did you forget to add "on acid", or were you just being uncharacteristically discreet?


Posted by: Knecht Ruprecht | Link to this comment | 03-27-08 6:25 AM
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BTW, how many "football fields" are there in a "state"?

That's like comparing apples and oranges orgasms and self-righteousness.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 03-27-08 6:30 AM
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I've never skated on acid, god forgive me.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 03-27-08 6:31 AM
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Outdoor ice skating on a grand scale during the golden age of Los Angeles.

"Ice is civilization!" - Allie Fox


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 03-27-08 6:33 AM
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I've never skated on acid, god forgive me.

I had a disastrous canoe trip, once. We sunk the canoe like three times, and one time it got totally lodged deep under some logs. I had the time of my life.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 03-27-08 6:35 AM
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Mary Catherine will be by shortly to tell us about the Something Canal, where Ottowans can skate for miles.

Leon Edel disapproved of Henry David Thoreau's show-offy way of ice-skating, along with a lot of other things about Thoreau.

Thoreau, like Kerouac, was bilingual and a Canuck of the lowest sort.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 03-27-08 6:36 AM
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Why would you need to? The point of a Zamboni is to be able to use the same ice twice because it has to be resurfaced after you cut it with your skates. If you have a rink the size of CT, there's no need to go over any particular patch of ice more than once.
Actually, 3 is correct- skating on a big lake, where you can just keep going for miles, it way cooler than skating on a rink. Lakes also make weird sounds when people skate on them, even when the ice is plenty thick to be safe.


Posted by: SP | Link to this comment | 03-27-08 6:37 AM
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11: wouldn't there be loose snow and crap on the sheet? You'd need to zamboni it first before it was skatable. The antartic ain't black ice.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 03-27-08 6:41 AM
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Between 583,302 and 318,711,317.


Posted by: Old Zippy | Link to this comment | 03-27-08 6:44 AM
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crap on the sheet
True, there are all those penguins like in the movie. I think that stuff would jam a Zamboni, though.


Posted by: SP | Link to this comment | 03-27-08 6:45 AM
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14: hell no. Zamboni is the all-destroyer.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 03-27-08 6:46 AM
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If you have a rink the size of CT, there's no need to go over any particular patch of ice more than once.

But the ice near the hot chocolate stand will certainly be all cut up.


Posted by: Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 03-27-08 6:47 AM
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Mary Catherine will be by shortly to tell us about the Something Canal, where Ottowans can skate for miles.

The Rideau Canal. I hate that they now call it a Skateway.


Posted by: Mary Catherine | Link to this comment | 03-27-08 6:49 AM
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18

Hot chocolate spiked with acid will cost extra.


Posted by: Knecht Ruprecht | Link to this comment | 03-27-08 6:49 AM
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19

Once in Minnesota the ice froze transparent. I believe this only happens when warm water is suddenly frozen. It was like walking on glass, below it was eerie with a sort of greenish glow.

In other news, I just saw a partridge type bird in my front yard which isn't in my bird book. It must be an escaped pet or commercially-raised bird. Seeing that sort of bird in town is unknown, even for the native species. It's amazing how much some small novelty like that can bug you.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 03-27-08 6:58 AM
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20

Tumors are the size of fruit.


Posted by: JDC | Link to this comment | 03-27-08 6:58 AM
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21

Nearly verbatim recent conversation:
me: So the pathology report came back, and it confirmed that the tumor was benign, and that it measured 4.4cmx2.2cmx1.2cm.
Mom: well, that's a relief. [pause] So, it was about the size of a golfball?
me: A squished one.

Apparently sports equipment and fruit are not only the common measure of tumors, but more accurate than centimeters.

You'd need to Zamboni the ice shelf because it wouldn't start out flat, but why stop there? We could carve Connecticut into it and have an Ice Capades reenactment of rush hour on I-95.


Posted by: Cala | Link to this comment | 03-27-08 7:06 AM
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19: I think that happens when the ice freezes without any meltings and refreezings along the way. Awesome to skate on.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 03-27-08 7:10 AM
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23

Zamboni is a great word, all destroying or not.


Posted by: W. Breeze | Link to this comment | 03-27-08 7:17 AM
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24

Just wait till a meteor the size of a Volkswagen hits it.


Posted by: Gonerill | Link to this comment | 03-27-08 7:28 AM
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I saw that Project Habakkuk shit on the History Channel. My god, the Brits were unhinged by Hitler.

Click through, those of you who don't know about the Brits' plans to build a GIANT AIRCRAFT CARRIER OUT OF ICE.

Love the Wiki article:

Much of his article also contained extensive derisive comments about the properties of ice as used for ship construction.

Ya think?


Posted by: Anderson | Link to this comment | 03-27-08 7:29 AM
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Okay, this is actually the best line from the Wiki article:

The experiments were carried by Perutz and his collaborators in a refrigerated meat locker in a Smithfield Market butcher's basement, behind a protective screen of frozen animal carcasses.


Posted by: Anderson | Link to this comment | 03-27-08 7:30 AM
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An ice shelf the size of Connecticut

Connecticut is not a valid unit of measure, Rhode Island is. It's an ice shelf 3.5 times the size of Rhode Island.


Posted by: JL | Link to this comment | 03-27-08 7:32 AM
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Google should really make such conversions available as part of their calculator function. I want to be able to type in "1 Minnesota in football fields" and get an answer.


Posted by: Merganser | Link to this comment | 03-27-08 7:32 AM
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Connecticut is not a valid unit of measure

Unless you're using SC units (système connecticut).


Posted by: Anderson | Link to this comment | 03-27-08 7:35 AM
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The ice shelf can be used for national-greatness purposes, but will have to be painted with "dazzle" patterns so Al Qaeda doesn't recognize it as it approaches their destroyers.


Posted by: Fatman | Link to this comment | 03-27-08 7:38 AM
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31

Which country's part of Antarctica was this in, anyway? because that country now has some mobile ice, suitable for dragging with tugboats to wherever it is most needed.

This comment should probably have been before #30.


Posted by: Fatman | Link to this comment | 03-27-08 7:39 AM
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32

Anyway, the reason the Connecticut is a discredited unit is that it is almost exactly 2/3 of a Wales. Why not just use the Wales?


Posted by: Fatman | Link to this comment | 03-27-08 7:41 AM
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33

Unless you're using SC units (système connecticut).

Go back to France, commie.


Posted by: JL | Link to this comment | 03-27-08 7:44 AM
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34

In the 1920s the Ford Motor Company owned Fordlandia, a rubber plantation in Brazil that was the size of Connecticut.


Posted by: Gonerill | Link to this comment | 03-27-08 7:55 AM
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35

C is currently obsessed with . You could probably get rich people to pay to drive the 4x4s up and down the ice roads.


Posted by: asilon | Link to this comment | 03-27-08 8:01 AM
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36

God I'm stupid today.
Ice Road Truckers


Posted by: asilon | Link to this comment | 03-27-08 8:02 AM
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37

Some highlights on the results of this search at Google:
Things the size of Connecticut:
A dead zone in the Gulf of Mexico
A mysterious glowing zone in the Indian Ocean
An underwater canyon off of New York City
A Bark beetle infestation in Alaska
Kosovo, Montenegro and Northern Ireland (Lebanon is 70% ... Connecticut seems to spell trouble)
A Martian lake
Some visible features on Io and Jupiter
Logged area per year in Indonesia
..and Brazil
Size of windfarm to power New York City
Parking lots in the US
Area levelled by the Tunguska Blast



Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 03-27-08 8:22 AM
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38

Very cool, JP.


Posted by: Anderson | Link to this comment | 03-27-08 8:27 AM
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39

That iceberg is small potatoes (how many small potatoes is left as an exercise for the reader). Ohio State's hockey team apparently plays on a rink nearly twice the size of Minnesota, nearly three times the size of Michigan. From this we can infer that one Michigan = 2/3 of a Minnesota.


Posted by: Merganser | Link to this comment | 03-27-08 8:33 AM
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40

Bugs are the size of body parts.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 03-27-08 8:42 AM
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Tow other items items
French Polynesia noted as approximately 1/3 the size of Connecticut a numer of times (I'm sure there is a single original source), which just happens to be "a little bigger than Rhode Island".

And this article: Rhode Island is the size of a Karl Rove iceberg.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 03-27-08 8:45 AM
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The paper of record knows how to properly describe the size of a disintegrating ice shelf.


Posted by: JL | Link to this comment | 03-27-08 8:46 AM
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43

21: Cala, maybe you've mentioned this on another thread, but is this your tumor being discussed? I'm happy to hear it's benign, whoever's it is.


Posted by: Sir Kraab | Link to this comment | 03-27-08 8:48 AM
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Ditto to what Sir Kraab said, Cala.

||

I just had a phone interview in which I pre-emptively turned down a job. I was so excited about the organization's work and the fact that they wanted someone with French language skills that I put in an application for something I wasn't really qualified for. The workload was absolutely overwhelming.

|>


Posted by: Bostoniangirl | Link to this comment | 03-27-08 8:52 AM
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45

A benign, even generous and helpful tumor with a positive, fun-loving attitude!


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 03-27-08 8:54 AM
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46

Were there a hailstone the size of Connecticut, would its size render it an iceberg, its substance render Connecticut a piece of equipment for a large and unknown sport or am I simply over-thinking it?

I am also endorsing Sir Kraab's sentiments, Cala.


Posted by: Robust McManlyPants | Link to this comment | 03-27-08 8:59 AM
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The paper of record knows how to properly describe the size of a disintegrating ice shelf.

That just goes to show the advance of global warming. The day *before*, it was the size of Connecticut. Tomorrow it'll be the size of Manhattan.


Posted by: Anderson | Link to this comment | 03-27-08 9:02 AM
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46: Not as big as Connecticut, but a grim tale of 5 parachitistist turning into "human hailstones":

After a series of lifts and falls they literally became human hail stones.When they finally reached the Earth, they were all frozen stiff , only one survived.

That is how hailstones form, successive accretions of ice around a condensation nucleus caused by falling and rising on updrafts in a storm.

NOAA Spotters Hail size guide:
Object Diameter
Pea 0.25 inches (6.4 mm)
Dime 0.75 inches (19 mm)
Penny 0.75 inches (19 mm)
Nickel 0.88 inches (22 mm)
Quarter 1.00 inch (25 mm)
Half dollar 1.25 inches (32 mm)
Walnut 1.50 inches (38 mm)
Golfball 1.75 inches (44 mm)
Tennis Ball 2.50 inches (64 mm)
Baseball 2.75 inches (70 mm)
Softball 4.50 inches (114 mm)


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 03-27-08 9:15 AM
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43: Oh, this was a couple months back, and there was only a 1% chance that the lump wasn't benign. (Oddly, a 1% chance does nothing to calm down a worried mother.) I traded a little bump for an inch-long scar, so now I am tuff.


Posted by: Cala | Link to this comment | 03-27-08 9:21 AM
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49: so now I am tuff

Hot! (or at least hot at some time in the past.)


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 03-27-08 9:31 AM
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Hot at some time in the past is, regrettably, becoming a very plausible description of me.


Posted by: Cala | Link to this comment | 03-27-08 9:32 AM
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52

37: You forgot Connecticut itself.


Posted by: TJ | Link to this comment | 03-27-08 9:33 AM
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52: You forgot Connecticut itself.

Shit, you're right. I always do that. IDIOT!! I'm so stupid!


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 03-27-08 9:43 AM
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I recently found out I have a 10 cm cyst in my spleen, which is the size of a frickin' grapefruit. There was a slight chance it was a tumor, but turned out not to be. I tell you this mostly because it's fun to say "splenic," as in, I have a splenic cyst but not a splenic tumor, so I don't have to have a splenectomy or join a splenic support group.


Posted by: Sir Kraab | Link to this comment | 03-27-08 9:55 AM
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that's splenicid news, Sir Kraab


Posted by: felix | Link to this comment | 03-27-08 9:57 AM
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52, 53: Only of the standard Connecticut in Connecticut can it be said that it neither is, nor is not, the size of Connecticut.


Posted by: Merganser | Link to this comment | 03-27-08 10:09 AM
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"If you're walking on stilts, sporting glowsticks on your head or wearing an Afro wig the size of Rhode Island, the more smiles you generate, the better the experience."


Posted by: Populuxe | Link to this comment | 03-27-08 10:13 AM
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32: Anyway, the reason the Connecticut is a discredited unit is that it is almost exactly 2/3 of a Wales. Why not just use the Wales?

Yesterday the BBC taught me that 3.5 Standard Rhode Island Units is roughly equal to 1 Northern Ireland.

(But it said nothing about Kosovo or logging.)


Posted by: I Approve This Message | Link to this comment | 03-27-08 10:33 AM
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According to Google, nothing is approximately the size of Sardinia, Botswana, Bhutan, Guam, Mali or Celebes. St. Kitts-Nevis is approximately the size of Malta.

A neutron star having the mass of the Sun will have a diameter of about 10 km - approximately the size of Hong Kong Island!


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 03-27-08 10:45 AM
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nothing is approximately the size of Sardinia

"Between August 2002 and August 2003, 23,750 square kilometers [of Brazilian rain forest] (more than 9,000 square miles) -- covering an area of forest the size of Sardinia -- was destroyed."


Posted by: Populuxe | Link to this comment | 03-27-08 11:03 AM
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See, Pop? Not "approximately" the size of Sardinia, but actually Sardinia-sized.

The sheer improbability of which indicates that there is a God, and that she is Sardinian.


Posted by: Anderson | Link to this comment | 03-27-08 1:33 PM
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Minnesota is not a unit of area. It's a measure of whiteness.


Posted by: chopper | Link to this comment | 03-27-08 2:20 PM
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I wish I had a river I could skate away on.

NOTE: this is post 3.5


Posted by: rm | Link to this comment | 03-27-08 2:23 PM
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I recently found out I have a 10 cm cyst in my spleen, which is the size of a frickin' grapefruit.

You know what I always wondered? Where the hell in the average human body is there 10cm of space just waiting to be taken up by a cyst? There's always these grapefruit and golfball sized lumps described, and I just find it bewildering. How are these things fitting in?


Posted by: Cala | Link to this comment | 03-27-08 2:29 PM
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Most things in there are pretty squishy. Like bags of sand.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 03-27-08 2:34 PM
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66

Still, it totally freaks me out that the average person could have fit a grapefruit in her abdomen and not notice.

(I got nothing on the 'bags of sand' line.)


Posted by: Cala | Link to this comment | 03-27-08 2:35 PM
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67

Not all people are average, Cala. Almost none, actually, depending on the margin of error.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 03-27-08 2:39 PM
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68

It's how the 40-year-old virgin described melons breasts when he was trying to bullshit about having had sex.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 03-27-08 2:41 PM
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No, I get that. I was trying to think of a joke, like 'proof that ogged has never hugged a pancreas!', but I got nothing.

67: Yes, we're all unique individuals, just like everyone else, but it's still a friggin' grapefruit.


Posted by: Cala | Link to this comment | 03-27-08 2:44 PM
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66: You'd notice if a grapefruit happened to arrive suddenly inside your abdomen. OTOH, if it sneaks in all that squishy stuff will slide out of the way.


Posted by: Biohazard | Link to this comment | 03-27-08 2:52 PM
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Some of us just don't have these phobias about large fruit lodging themselves in our bodies. I've been in the 5th month of pregnancy or so since 1984, carrying around a grapefruit or so, and do I complain? Yes.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 03-27-08 2:57 PM
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freaks me out that the average person could have fit a grapefruit in her abdomen and not notice

It's not called an abdominal cavity for nothing. A average-sized dinner has way more mass than a grapefruit, and it goes in no problem.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 03-27-08 3:20 PM
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73

And extremely premature infants are measured in volumes of carbonated drink containers.


Posted by: DominEditrix | Link to this comment | 03-27-08 3:58 PM
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I probably ate at least four grapefruits-worth of lunch today. Now my belly is perfectly round.


Posted by: Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 03-27-08 4:10 PM
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73: Also, your in-laws' members.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 03-27-08 5:18 PM
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A average-sized dinner has way more mass than a grapefruit

Way more?


Posted by: redfoxtailshrub | Link to this comment | 03-27-08 5:24 PM
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77

You heard him, portion Nazi!


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 03-27-08 5:29 PM
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You got me! Half a pound of pasta definitely has way more mass than a grapefruit. Actually, I'm off to guzzle no doubt multiple grapefruits of soup and crackers.


Posted by: redfoxtailshrub | Link to this comment | 03-27-08 5:32 PM
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A average-sized dinner has way more mass than a grapefruit

Ah, the Southern Diet.


Posted by: gswift | Link to this comment | 03-27-08 6:55 PM
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