Re: Thanks, NASA

1

Proving that nothing can keep a good man down.


Posted by: Tassled Loafered Leech | Link to this comment | 03-31-08 3:57 PM
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2

Are Phelps' hands small or average for omega-class swimmers?


Posted by: Flippanter | Link to this comment | 03-31-08 3:59 PM
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3

So Amanda Beard is Dismas. Who's Gestas?


Posted by: Josh | Link to this comment | 03-31-08 4:00 PM
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4

"$1.50"?


Posted by: strasmangelo jones | Link to this comment | 03-31-08 4:01 PM
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5

It also appears to give women some pretty vicious cameltoes.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 03-31-08 4:01 PM
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6

I don't know about his hands, or the identity of the third swimmer.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 03-31-08 4:02 PM
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7

Emerson has taken over at Speedo and is producing the relationship-retarding uniforms of the future.


Posted by: washerdreyer | Link to this comment | 03-31-08 4:04 PM
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8

2: You're asking about the size of his *hands*?


Posted by: Josh | Link to this comment | 03-31-08 4:04 PM
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9

7: I dunno about that. Think of how liberating it must be to take one of those things off.


Posted by: Josh | Link to this comment | 03-31-08 4:05 PM
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10

Swimming fashions and the aesthetic of fascism clearly have deep affinities.


Posted by: Gonerill | Link to this comment | 03-31-08 4:05 PM
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11

He looks like the CEO of the Neuterbot corporation, unveiling the new "female" line for 2008.


Posted by: Anderson | Link to this comment | 03-31-08 4:06 PM
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8: One tends to pay particular attention to hands after a certain number of punches in the face, to paraphrase Al Swearengen on Deadwood.


Posted by: Flippanter | Link to this comment | 03-31-08 4:07 PM
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13

Huh, the other woman is Natalie Coughlin.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 03-31-08 4:08 PM
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14

Get punched by a lot of swimmers, Flippanter?


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 03-31-08 4:08 PM
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Get punched by a lot of swimmers, Flippanter?

Depends on what you mean by "a lot."


Posted by: Flippanter | Link to this comment | 03-31-08 4:12 PM
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16

It also appears to cause distracted bloggers to drop words in their posts about it.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 03-31-08 4:12 PM
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17

So does the design of the suit force one answer to the age-old question of "up, to-the-side, tucked under or aggressively forward-pointing?"*, or is he just expressing a personal choice.

*Below some threshold size ε**, how this question is answered is irrelevant.

**Reached more frequently than one might think due to the agency of cold water.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 03-31-08 4:20 PM
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18

*Below some threshold size ε**,

that being the point where diameter ≥ length, I believe.


Posted by: peter | Link to this comment | 03-31-08 4:22 PM
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19

Like a breast.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 03-31-08 4:24 PM
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18: diameter ≥ length

For some values of diameter, lest we forget the Coke canned among us.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 03-31-08 4:24 PM
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21

I believe it depends on the size of the ε-ball.


Posted by: Willy Voet | Link to this comment | 03-31-08 4:25 PM
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22

In the future, this will be standard workplace attire.

"And now Amanda and Natalie will present the conclusions of the subcommittee."


Posted by: rob helpy-chalk | Link to this comment | 03-31-08 4:31 PM
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to the age-old question of "up, to-the-side, tucked under or aggressively forward-pointing?

I don't know about this swimming gear, but in general about 45 degrees works best.


Posted by: Brock Landers | Link to this comment | 03-31-08 4:38 PM
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I have a friend who was a competitive swimmer of reasonable enough caliber to be interested in these kinds of suits and to be in circles where the companies would have people testing them out. She has stories of suits like this quite literally coming apart at the seams in the pool. As she tells it, these are not the most resilient suits (at least in their testing versions, a handful of years back).


Posted by: parodie | Link to this comment | 03-31-08 4:38 PM
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As she tells it, these are not the most resilient suits

That's my understanding. These are to be worn to one meet, and then they're pretty much done.

A journalist friend actually offered a couple of months ago to get me one of the new suits (not the speedo) and let me write about it, but I thought someone who's a better swimmer should do it.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 03-31-08 4:55 PM
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A journalist friend actually offered a couple of months ago to get me one of the new suits (not the speedo) and let me write about it, but I thought someone who's a better swimmer should do it.

Also, the demand from your fans for pictures would have been too much to handle.


Posted by: rob helpy-chalk | Link to this comment | 03-31-08 4:57 PM
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27

"BEHOLD! MY DONG IS SQUISHED!"


Posted by: redfoxtailshrub | Link to this comment | 03-31-08 4:59 PM
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28

"When not squished, IT'S THIS BIG!"


Posted by: Klug | Link to this comment | 03-31-08 5:04 PM
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29

This does sort of look like Michael Phelps as Frankie Avalon in "Dr. Goldfoot and the Bikini Machine". But in the future.


Posted by: peter | Link to this comment | 03-31-08 5:05 PM
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30

How delighted Phelps, Beard, and Coughlin all look to be there.

The lighting on Beard's face argues that she is Gestas, despite being on stage right. The rules of 19th-century Romantic painting composition clearly make her the villian.


Posted by: rm | Link to this comment | 03-31-08 5:23 PM
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31

What Gonerill said. Between the fascist stylings and the Christ pose, that photo creeps me out.


Posted by: Ginger Yellow | Link to this comment | 03-31-08 5:47 PM
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32

He's at 2 minutes to midnight.


Posted by: oudemia | Link to this comment | 03-31-08 5:49 PM
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33

27 and 28 are an awesome sequence.


Posted by: mrh | Link to this comment | 03-31-08 6:21 PM
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34

Maybe he just hangs from his belly-button.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 03-31-08 6:21 PM
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35

Figured out what his pose really minded me of, Da Vinci's Vitruvian Man. In fact, I bet you can find the schematic for the suit in one of Da Vinci's notebooks.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 03-31-08 6:24 PM
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36

I for one welcome our new fascist Neuterbot overlords.


Posted by: minneapolitan | Link to this comment | 03-31-08 6:39 PM
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37

I think if Ogged posted while wearing one of those suits it would constitute an unfair advantage over his co-bloggers.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 03-31-08 6:44 PM
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38

That's actually the steroids, not the suits.


Posted by: spaz | Link to this comment | 03-31-08 6:53 PM
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39

37: Are you serious? Ogged is always posting wearing one of those suits.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 03-31-08 6:58 PM
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39: Ah ... explains so much.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 03-31-08 7:22 PM
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41

Not that I am spending the evening staring at Michael Phelps' cock squished toothpaste tube the two women the suits, but seeing these pictures illustrates to me that one of the main concerns about them is surely excess streamlining. Imagine the logical endpoint of those suits as being a kayak shell with human arms and legs (fie on those silly bumps and geegaws that mar the human frontside). I note that there is also a ban on hard hats or helmets, so any natural coneheads are at an advantage.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 03-31-08 9:29 PM
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42

He's at 2 minutes to midnight.

On the cover of The Bulletin of Priapic Swimmers.


Posted by: Populuxe | Link to this comment | 03-31-08 9:37 PM
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43

42: Recommended technique for combatting strong crosswinds during outdoor meets (not recommended for backstrokers).

Lowering centerboard!


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 03-31-08 9:56 PM
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44

That is simply the ugliest fucking thing I've ever seen and every one of them looks like they want to die.

I had to read the thread to realize the dude on the right wasn't a dude.


Posted by: Robust McManlyPants | Link to this comment | 03-31-08 10:18 PM
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45

44 comments--has anyone pointed out that Ogged forgot the word "like" in the post?


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 03-31-08 10:21 PM
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46

You mean there are words after "cock" and some of them are wrong or missing? Hadn't noticed.


Posted by: Robust McManlyPants | Link to this comment | 03-31-08 10:22 PM
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47

Are you serious? Ogged is always posting wearing one of those suits.

He won't wear it at the pool for fear of being thought a git. Got to wear it somewhere, right?


Posted by: soup biscuit | Link to this comment | 03-31-08 10:23 PM
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48

45: That was the intent of 16. But I suspect it was both too subtle and too poorly worded.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 03-31-08 10:24 PM
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49

48: 16 was enough to prompt me to go back and find the missing word in the post.


Posted by: washerdreyer | Link to this comment | 03-31-08 10:27 PM
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50

[It] will make a cock look a stepped-on tube of toothpaste and eliminate boobies entirely.

I can't shake the feeling that there's a way to parse this sentence that will make sense.

It made me look.


Posted by: ed bowlinger | Link to this comment | 03-31-08 10:48 PM
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51

anything that makes natalie coughlin look ugly is not a good product.


Posted by: tweedledopey | Link to this comment | 03-31-08 10:49 PM
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52

Ha, I read 16, read over my post twice, and didn't notice any missing words, so I clicked through to the scaq post and sure enough there was a missing word, and I was surprised that anyone had clicked through to read it.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 03-31-08 11:09 PM
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53

52 meet 46.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 03-31-08 11:16 PM
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54

"BEHOLD! MY DONG IS SQUISHED!"

He looks like he's smuggling jalapeños.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 04- 1-08 8:03 AM
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54: Squished (and unsquished) genitalia are always the size of fruits and vegetables. Eggplants, for instance (ask Ben).


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 04- 1-08 8:10 AM
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56

Yes, but are they vegetables from Wales or Rhode Island?


Posted by: Ginger Yellow | Link to this comment | 04- 1-08 8:31 AM
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>>Yes, but are they vegetables from Wales or Rhode Island?

Aren't they from Down Under? (To coin a phrase...)


Posted by: ergonomic | Link to this comment | 04- 1-08 8:34 AM
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52: I'm skeptical. Can a Speedo suit really make a cock...eliminate boobies entirely? I've never seen a cock do that.


Posted by: sam k | Link to this comment | 04- 1-08 8:37 AM
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Rhode Island is famous for its chickens, so, cocks.


Posted by: mrh | Link to this comment | 04- 1-08 9:34 AM
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