Glad to have missed this!
What are they advertising?
So sick of them, you're getting right the fuck out of the city!
They're all over New York City. Wasn't sure if the ads were elsewhere as well. (I think I've also seen a few TV ads but I could be misremembering.)
I haven't see a single one. But I see the Tudors everywhere.
Someone should change "Gene" to "Richard."
At that rate he'll never catch Wilt Chamberlain.
Honestly though, isn't this a bit of a man bites dog story?
Well, someone has to link to the Gene Simmons sex tape.
He's probably just figuring that he slept with at least one new woman after each show or something, right? Maybe only the ones he's recognize today should count. But that wouldn't be very rock n' roll.
That works out to be a different woman every day for more than 12 years.
Spread it out over the 40-odd years he's been sexxoring, and it's a different woman every third day or so. I guess a long weekend = long term relationship for Gene.
There's no reason to assume serial sex. After all, every time you take four women back to the bus after a show, you can skip a few days and still keep your average up.
That's a lot of oxytocin! He must have trouble forming lasting relationships these days.
(Unless he's been married 4600 times.)
Are they really fucking to Foreigner in that clip, or is that post-production?
4600 times and he never took off his shirt.
it's not that many when you consider that he is older than the Sun.
Are they really fucking to Foreigner in that clip, or is that post-production?
Sweet catch. I was watching with the sound off. Seems like it's ambient.
I suspect that to a large degree, populations get the ads they deserve.
I don't want to watch him get it on, but I do want to know how many minutes coitus lasts for GS. Can one of you fellas clock it?
I don't think it's the whole tape, wrenae.
You're going to trust a camera, wrenae?
There's really only one way to be sure of a decent measurement. By the sounds of it, that wouldn't be too hard to arrange.
Is it clear whether Becks objects to the number or to the bragging?
Granting that women want to have sex with Gene Simmons, why would would they choose intercourse?
20: Quid pro quo. See the comments of that fellow who no longer posts on the other thread.
There is absolutely no way 4600 women were willing to have sex with Gene Simmons. No. Way.
19: Or, to be reasonable, Gene Simmons.
22: You haven't spent much time around a band, have you?
4600 times and he never took off his shirt.
And pants still around the ankles. What a stud. From the first clip, it looks like he also has bad breath.
From the first clip, it looks like he also has bad breath.
Apparently one of the most effective things you can do to combat bad breath is scrape or brush your tongue. You can see how this would pose a special problem for Mr. Simmons.
4600 is promiscuous these days?
Wouldn't that depend on how many years? I mean, look at him.
His Terry Gross interview is more disgusting/awesome.
Well sure it *sounds* like a lot, but in truth it could be as little as 230 hours of intercourse.
Is the slut-shaming really necessary, Becks?
4600 is promiscuous these days?
Wouldn't that depend on how many years? I mean, look at him.
Maybe he just took part in two 2,300 woman orgies and is counting himself as having slept with every female participant.
two 2,300 woman orgies
One for the primary and one for the general.
scrape or brush your tongue. You can see how this would pose a special problem for Mr. Simmons.
He would've had time for no more than 4000, ahem, encounters.
Seriously, though, what is the add for? Ultra-durable condoms?
Well sure it *sounds* like a lot, but in truth it could be as little as 230 hours of intercourse.
With a little work ethic and a good logistics team, you could knock this off in 3 weeks easy.
Oh, no. I've fallen prey to a laughing fit at this thread.
With a little work ethic and a good logistics team, you could knock this off in 3 weeks easy.
With a bigger work ethic and a better logistics team, you could do it in under 10 days.
With a bigger work ethic and a better logistics team, you could do it in under 10 days.
What, and never savor the moment? Heathen.
Without false modesty, I must say that it is difficult for me to imagine finding 4600 women whose interest in me, and in whom my interest, rises to the sex-having level.
Sure, Flippanter, but this just illustrates why you aren't good material for fronting a 70s/80s hair and makeup band.
40: Probably true for all of us who do not have a high enough profile to need a shitty stick on hand 24/7. Even 'smasher has to cast about in shallow pools like the rest of us single folk, instead of just taking the next person in the queue.
Oh, I really wished I hadn't just watched Gene Simmons have awkward sex with that lady. In the second video, in which she tries to change positions (in a way that looks a lot more bored than lusty), I got a little sad.
When ben said `follow the links people', he really didn't mean *all* of them, AWB.
I like that scene in Spinal Tap where the guys are hanging out with some groupies after their first tour gig, and then a couple of scenes later you see them going off to an interview or something with their mouths covered in cold-sores.
I can easily imagine there being 4600 women out there who I would want to have sex with and who would want to have sex with me, but I suspect I would be very unlikely to meet most of them.
That's what the internets are for, teo.
To heal you, if you also watched the GS sex, here is a video of Flocke the baby polar bear learning to swim.
More videos of Flocke being her adorable self here.
Alas, the future does not look bright for little Flocke.
That's what the internets are for, teo.
Why do you think I spend so much time here?
One at a time, Teo.
Why do you think I've been spending so little time here?
Why? Is she engaged to psycho Knut?
50: That's about the third article they've published calling a small bear psychotic. The Daily Mail's blood feud with a zoo animal tickles me to no end.
There are certainly more women commenting on unfogged than there used to be, but 4600? Maybe you should expand your reading habits, teo.
Don't we have a presidential commenter with a lifetime record in this range?
50: Holy shit, this white=psycho self-promoter problem is even broader than we realized!
A mentally healthy polar bear attacks and dismembers people and eats the good parts.
There are certainly more women commenting on unfogged than there used to be, but 4600?
You're forgetting the lurkers. They're all over me in e-mail.
Maybe you should expand your reading habits, teo.
This, however, is a good suggestion. How many women read EotAW?
Why does it have to be an accomplishment *or* be disturbing? Can't it be a disturbing accomplishment?
How many women read EotAW?
Lonely nymphomaniacs are pretty much their core audience.
At the risk of sounding like (1) a man and (2) an analytic philosopher I suggest that the reason 4600 partners sounds disturbed is that there is an assumed quantity/quality trade-off, which sounds like it is reinforced by the videos. (I can't watch the videos because they are NSFawake kids running around the house)
If we were talking about 4600 really high quality (for both partners) encounters, it would be an achievement worth bragging about.
Lonely nymphomaniacs are pretty much their core audience.
Excellent. Maybe I should go to grad school in history after all.
If we were talking about 4600 really high quality (for both partners) encounters, it would be an achievement worth bragging about.
I guess that's the difference between:
dude, I bagged like 5000 hot chixors
holy crap is my life lucky, I meet all these amazing women and we have great mindblowing sex, like 10 times a week. You can't even imagine
Somehow it sounds like he's more in the first camp.
Also, 4600 partners and he hasn't tried a few guys for variety?
Since my beloved girlfriend is likely to start reading Unfogged any day now, I should probably emphasize that I'm only kidding and I'm very happy with her.
Excellent. Maybe I should go to grad school in history after all.
Dissertation topic: April Fools
I can't be the only one who thought a comment like 67 was inevitable.
I wonder how many people in the world have had sex with the same person 4600 or more times.
70: Ogged shares Naruto's harem power.
beloved girlfriend
Didn't you only just sodomize her last week?
You know how much oxytocin he had saved up?
71: From age 15 to age 60 is 2080 weeks, so that would be slightly more than twice a week during that time. Is 3x/week normal in a late-stage marriage between 50-year-olds?
This reminds me of the reaction of one of my college friends when Wilt Chamberlain made his claims about the extent of his sexual contexts. It was around the same time that a hacker had released the first computer virus to spread into the wild beyond the lab (sweet nostalgia: it propagated by way of floppy disks). My friend observed, apropos of Chamberlain: "It's like the guy who created that computer virus: the morals of it are dubious, but you can't help but admire the technical accomplishment."
75: It probably helps if you get a good run of 2/day averages in your twenties or whatever. It probably also helps if you never have kids.
I don't really know why you specified 1 partner though, the question more like: what's an average lifetime count.
78: in fact, I think it was probably not the first computer virus in the wild (that happened earlier) but Robert Morris's internet worm -- the first worm to really fuck with the internet -- which hit in 1988, a few years before Wilt's second autobiography, in 1991, which was the source of the 20,000 women claim.
Pedant-o-nerd-a-thon.
I don't really know why you specified 1 partner though
Probably because he was responding to 71.
The roommate never misses an episode of the Gene & Shannon Show on whatever cable channel.
Joke premise of episode is on Gene at least 75% on the time. Gene goes skiing, breaks ankle type thing. Gene cleans up dogshit. This is why we lead separate lives ten feet apart.
AFAIK, Simmons has been faithful to Tweed for around 15 years, so y'all need to revisit your long division on the 4600.
The two-a-day period was less than a year in my case. By the fourth year it was a relatively good day if we both said goodbye at the end of a phone call. I'm old, but not a good source on the late-stage marriage due to an acute and deadly condition during the early stage.
AFAIK, Simmons has been faithful to Tweed for around 15 years
That's not a 15-year-old video in the linked post.
On Ben Stein's now-defunct talk show, Simmons claims to have kept count via Polaroids. I suppose one day the Library of Congress will inherit the collection.
Or the Vatican's art museum, perhaps.
Following on #84, I think Simmons is explicitly allowed by Tweed to sleep with other people. I remember reading something like that.
Is 3x/week normal in a late-stage marriage between 50-year-olds?
Why do you ask?
85: It's much faster than making plaster casts.
On the other hand, polaroid went out of business. I hope he's stocked up on film.
That's not an accomplishment to be celebrated
Becks probably thinks Sir Edmund Hillary was disturbed.
87: Huh. Google suggests that I'm wrong.
87: That's not so unusal an arrangement.
Probably because he was responding to 71.
ah, different question then; intercourse isn't fungible.
Oh. And IIRC from the show, Simmons rarely ever drinks even a glass of wine, has never taken a pill, avoids even doctor prescribed medicine, and didn't indulge in drinks & drugs during the kiss days. This must have given him much time & stamina.
In one episode, Simmons takes a stress test, brags that he can lower his heart rate at will. The doctors don't believe him, so while on the treadmill, he lowers his heartbeat to below 70. Then he goes into irreversible afib, and straight into surgery.
Hilarious, huh.
The lady will not let me talk abou CDS's & CDO's, but I have to hear Gene & Shannon stories. Thus are healthy relationships maintained.
He tried daguerreotypes at first, but he realized that the women never showed up in the resulting pictures.
I didn't know he had a show. My life has probably not improved by knowing this.
Aside from learning in this thread that Simmons is involved in music, I don't actually know who he is. And I'm not planning to seek out that information.
97: the answer is in the post, really. You've probably dated yourself with that comment.
We both watch a lot of movies. When we talk about movies she asks:"Wait, did any humans get blown up or eaten, in a light-hearted manner? If not, just go away."
So Kim Ki-Duk and Babel are out of the question.
I understand nihilism, from personal experience.
He's a guy who's all over advertisements I've never seen in a city I'm living in, apparently. I am timeless.
I don't actually know who he is
C'mon, eb. Surely you recognize this guy.
I took the risk of actually clicking on that link. I don't recognize him. I believe my ignorance of music has been made clear once and for all.
Quid pro quo. See the comments of that fellow who no longer posts on the other thread.
You mean that one Unfogged thread about sex? Link, please?
No matter. I would think that giving Gene Simmons a blowjob would be a small price to pay to discover whether he is as orally talented as he is endowed, particularly for someone who is already inclined to have sex with him, so I don't get why the quid pro quo should steer anybody away.
He's a guy who's all over advertisements I've never seen in a city I'm living in, apparently. I am timeless oblivious.
Someone knows what I'm talking about. (NSFW)
105: Actually, I'm willing to bet that I've seen the ads (not the tv ones) but never noticed or paid attention to them. But I'd already written and posted that comment.
I don't recognize him.
Were you raised in a Skinner box or something?
Parsimon in 37 is exactly right.
Also, yay Teo! I've been here less, didn't see the announcement. Or is he kidding? Damn you, irony; damn you, sarcasm. And damn litotes, too, for good measure.
110. Heh. My wife's cousin's husband was raised in a Skinner Box, or whatever the human equivalent was called. He is mostly normal.
http://www.encyclopedia.com/doc/1O87-aircrib.html
Didn't you only just sodomize her last week?
Did teo divulge that detail?? Or are just assuming that teo is a sodomizer?
If I recall correctly, Skinner himself spent a good amount of time in a Skinner box.
There is absolutely no way 4600 women were willing to have sex with Gene Simmons.
I guess there's just no way any of them wanted an encore.
an advantage claimed for the air crib is that, because the baby's crying is almost inaudible from the outside
I'm sold.
114: You really need to read the archives. All of them.
According to teh internets, Jessica Hahn was one of the 4600. It kind of blows my mind to learn that "The Demon" also had sex with Jim Bakker's favorite church secretary.
Robert Morris's internet worm
I go watch one episode of Rockford Files and miss a chance to wave my tiny nerd cock around. Sigh. This is just like that time I missed pub quiz the week they actually had Twin Peaks as a category (unless KR is thinking of Michelangelo - which was early '92 - as that one was transmitted by floppies though I confess I had to look it up to make sure I had correctly recalled it).
the rockford files theme song came up randomly on my ipod the other day, causing me to annoy everyone in the aa meeting by dancing around going "nah nah nanana...nanana nhu nhu" etc.
80 & 121: You nerds have got me dead to rights. I was conflating the Morris episode with the 1992 episode that RMMP describes, and mischaracterizing both to boot. Y'all should know never to trust a humanities major to get the facts right in these matters.
Tweety correctly surmised that I was thinking of the Morris worm and the 1991 Chamberlain biography.
I might have to turn said friend on to unfogged just so he can relive this glorious bon mot (made even more glorious by the horrified silence of the wimmin classmates at the table). Also, because he confided to me the other night that he wastes time at work by watching youtube and reading redsox.com; heobviously needs a less lame way to slack off. (FWIW, by my crude calculation, I can slack off 1.6X as much as him for the same net drain on the economy.)
