Re: Doggy Style

1

There are about a thousand different internet sites with selection wizards that purport to match you with the ideal breed based on your preferences along various dimensions (size, shedding, barking, good with children, good at learning tricks, etc.). Here is but one of the many you can find by googling "choose dog breed".

But your friend should also consider just going to the animal shelter and picking out a mutt that looks sympathetic. Why support the puppy-industrial complex when there are so many decent dogs out there that need a loving home?


Posted by: Knecht Ruprecht | Link to this comment | 04-11-08 7:40 PM
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My daughters insist that they need a puggle.

Fortunately, their love of dogs is sated by playing with and walking the neighbor's bulldog, "Otis".


Posted by: gswift | Link to this comment | 04-11-08 7:43 PM
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Good information to start with would be where do they live, apt, house with yard? Also what energy level are they looking for?

Also I have heard bad things about puggles.


Posted by: CJB | Link to this comment | 04-11-08 7:45 PM
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Jack Russell terrier, if you hate your friend.

However, prospective buyers should be aware that they are not for everyone. They also have a sense of independence that is stronger than can be found in most dog breeds, and although they are small, they are not "lap dogs" - they are dogs that require a firm hand, a lot of attention, and regular - even frequent - exercise to maintain both their physical and emotional well-being.

Jack Russells that are not trained and exercised regularly may exhibit unmanageable behaviour, including excessive barking, escaping from the yard, or digging in unwanted places inside and outside the house. In America, several Jack Russell rescue networks have to work constantly to find temporary and permanent homes for Jack Russell Terriers whose owners typically were not aware that Jack Russells are not "docile" dogs and could not meet these requirements. Prospective Jack Russell Terrier owners are advised to be responsible.
Most Jack Russell Terriers get along well with children so long as they are introduced carefully, but they are extremely protective of their territory and have no tolerance of even unintentional abuse. Most are outgoing and friendly towards other dogs (again, territorial invasions notwithstanding), but a good number show same-sex aggression issues, especially the males. JRTs are also known for a "Napoleon complex" regarding larger canines that can get them into dangerous situations. Their fearlessness often scares off a larger animal, but their apparent unawareness of their small size can lead to a lopsided fight with larger dogs if not kept in check

But other than that, wonderful dogs, especially if you need to dig some foxes out of their burrows.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 04-11-08 7:45 PM
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If I could have a dog, I would want a black lab. Since I can't have a black lab, I don't want a dog.


Posted by: Mary Catherine | Link to this comment | 04-11-08 7:46 PM
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My neighbor has a shihtzu which is the friendliest dog ever, likes to cuddle, and almost never barks. And cute.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 04-11-08 7:47 PM
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Nationalist to the bone, she is.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 04-11-08 7:48 PM
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Go with a nice mutt at the humane society.


Posted by: TJ | Link to this comment | 04-11-08 7:48 PM
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Thing one is to think about getting a mutt from the pound, rather than picking a breed. Thing two is not to fall in love with a breed for the looks, but to research needs and desirable lifestyle before picking a breed you like.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 04-11-08 7:50 PM
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Mutts all the way, in my book.

But if your friend wants a particular breed, s/he could look at breed-specific rescues as well. I am pro-Lab (have a yellow) and anti-beagle (sorry Snoopy).

But almost any dog can be a good dog with the right training. The question is how much time and energy you have to devote to that training.


Posted by: wrenae | Link to this comment | 04-11-08 7:52 PM
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Seconding #6: shih tzus are small, generally friendly, and usually very quiet (unlike almost all other small dog breeds I've encountered, which tend to be very nervous and yap annoyingly). On the other hand, they are sometimes prone to devastating health problems, as is just about anything that isn't a mutt.


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 04-11-08 7:55 PM
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Mutts mutts mutts. Dog breeds are for effete, latte-sipping, best-in-show, former-terrorist scum.


Posted by: Gonerill | Link to this comment | 04-11-08 7:56 PM
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The downside of adoption is that often those people are nuts.

"The dog must have the run of the entire house. It's the only way he'll feel like he's a part of the family."

This was said to me years ago by one of those screwballs who had a german sheperd puppy (with paws like saucers, and obviously was going to be a fucking huge dog).


Posted by: gswift | Link to this comment | 04-11-08 7:56 PM
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Mixed-breed sheepdogs, on the other hand, are the dog of the future.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 04-11-08 7:57 PM
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they are sometimes prone to devastating health problems, as is just about anything that isn't a mutt.

If they do go pure bred they would be wise to find a reputable breeder because of this problem. They will try and screen dogs for most of the detectable problems.


Posted by: CJB | Link to this comment | 04-11-08 7:58 PM
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If the friend is the type who wants a dog for outdoors stuff like runs in the park, catching a frisbee, etc., then Australian Cattle Dogs/Heelers are good.


Posted by: gswift | Link to this comment | 04-11-08 8:00 PM
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Thing one is to think about getting a mutt from the pound, rather than picking a breed. Thing two is not to fall in love with a breed for the looks, but to research needs and desirable lifestyle before picking a breed you like.

Thing three is to get a cat. Problem solved.


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 04-11-08 8:01 PM
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Dog breeds are for effete, latte-sipping, best-in-show, former-terrorist scum.

And also Nazis and country-club Republicans. And probably bleeding heart liberals. The only real purebred haters are overintellectualized bastards like me.

McManus pretends to like dogs because he's in deep cover.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 04-11-08 8:02 PM
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I endorse 17.


Posted by: gswift | Link to this comment | 04-11-08 8:02 PM
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Did the UK show "It's Me or the Dog" make it over here? I remember watching it a couple of times in Oz, and thinking the pathologies of dog-lovers were quite appalling.


Posted by: Gonerill | Link to this comment | 04-11-08 8:02 PM
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Thing three is to get a cat. Problem solved.

After you feed it to the dog it will calm right down or so I've heard.


Posted by: CJB | Link to this comment | 04-11-08 8:03 PM
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Gswift is gay.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 04-11-08 8:03 PM
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Get a cat with quick paws and a strong hiss to discipline the dog.


Posted by: eb | Link to this comment | 04-11-08 8:05 PM
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20: No fair citing the English, who love their dogs more than they love their children.

(I didn't just say that, did I?)


Posted by: Mary Catherine | Link to this comment | 04-11-08 8:05 PM
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Pwned by LB. Things to consider: your lifestyle, your housesize, whether you have a yard, whether you have an adult at home a lot or with a lot of flexible time, how much exercise the dog will need, whether you have kids, how big the dog will get, how much the dog will shed.

99% of problems with dogs are because someone neglected one of these things.

We had Great Pyrenees growing up, largely because they are a big, passive, even-tempered dog with a lot of tolerance for children.


Posted by: Cala | Link to this comment | 04-11-08 8:06 PM
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Gswift is gay.

But my yard is totally free of dog crap.


Posted by: gswift | Link to this comment | 04-11-08 8:06 PM
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Also, your options are a) reputable breeder or b) mutt.


Posted by: Cala | Link to this comment | 04-11-08 8:06 PM
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Heh, a friend of mine just met and shook hands with Obama.


Posted by: Gonerill | Link to this comment | 04-11-08 8:08 PM
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My father, when he was in his mid 60s, was advised by a close friend (a radical lesbian feminist, I believe, though I'm not sure if that matters) to get a standard poodle. He did, and the relationship worked well (with the poodle; I'm not sure of the relationship with the RLF).

It worked so well that he decided that all I needed to get my life together was the love of a good standard poodle. So he got me one. I was then 37, and while I'm not sure the FDA has approved, and I don't think it's covered by most insurance, the treatment did seem at least partially successful.

While it was humbling to have a dog smarter than me, it was also in some ways liberating. So I recommend standard poodles. From a breeder, so you can meet the parents and inspect the puppy's exended family, and have a high probability of getting a smart, trainable, people oriented, gentle family member, one who is very good at expressing affection and reassurance through touch.


Posted by: Michael H Schneider | Link to this comment | 04-11-08 8:10 PM
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My family had a golden retriever for a week, but we couldn't handle its energy. My sister and I were really quite young. I remember staying on the couch to keep out of its way.

We later got a Siberian Husky and that worked out very well. The cat helped teach her not to go up the staircase to the bedrooms (though she'd still go up there every now and then). Having a dog did make the yard a less appealing place to play.


Posted by: eb | Link to this comment | 04-11-08 8:10 PM
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31

Hyenas. So hot right now, hyenas.


Posted by: TJ | Link to this comment | 04-11-08 8:11 PM
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your lifestyle, your housesize, whether you have a yard,

It's been a while since I went to Washington Square Park on a weekend morning, but I used to be amazed at some of the dogs I'd see at the dog run. Not just small and citified pooches, but big, big animals that looked like they'd be happy working on farms or something. It doesn't seem fair to have a big dog in the city: they really do need to run around a lot in open spaces.


Posted by: Mary Catherine | Link to this comment | 04-11-08 8:12 PM
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Hyenas can substitute for hogs if you have a Republican to dispose of.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 04-11-08 8:13 PM
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31: For hyenas, substitute sugar gliders.


Posted by: Knecht Ruprecht | Link to this comment | 04-11-08 8:15 PM
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It doesn't seem fair to have a big dog in the city: they really do need to run around a lot in open spaces

Actually a good number of the large breed dogs are low energy and do quite well in city settings. Not all of course.


Posted by: CJB | Link to this comment | 04-11-08 8:17 PM
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As a concession to people who have convinced themselves they must have a dog, I offer as an alternative to 17: "Thing three is to move the fuck out of my neighborhood."


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 04-11-08 8:20 PM
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The other standard advice is to check out dog clubs in the area, with an eye towards finding obedience classes. There's probably a local AKC affiliate, which will probably run classes, and will be filled with knowledgable people and dogs. It's a good way to meet representatives of different breeds, and breeders.


Posted by: Michael H Schneider | Link to this comment | 04-11-08 8:24 PM
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Fleur used to have a male Weimaraner that was completely, unambiguously gay. Her next-door-neighbors were an evangelical Christian family with a male dog that was, shall we say, bi-curious.

The neighbor's dog would come over and lie down on its back to allow Fleur's gay dog to lick its penis. He would squirm around in obvious ecstasy, to the horror of the X-ian family, which always tried in vain to keep the two apart. Fleur's family, fully conscious of how uncomfortable it made the homophobe neighbors, would coo with faux naivete about how wonderful it was that the two dogs were such good friends.


Posted by: Knecht Ruprecht | Link to this comment | 04-11-08 8:25 PM
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First the flashing story, and now this. Ruprecht, you're on a roll.


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 04-11-08 8:27 PM
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Fleur used to have a male Weimaraner that was completely, unambiguously gay.

I can top that. A friend of mine used to have a blue healer that was not only gay, but into cats. It and one of their tom cats would get it on in the front yard right about the time the school bus would come to pick him up for school.


Posted by: CJB | Link to this comment | 04-11-08 8:29 PM
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The wolverine is small (a bit smaller than a black lab, I think) but vicious, and has been known to attack bears and moose. I wouldn't wish this animal even on a Republican. Except maybe Dick Cheney, because he does those canned hunts.


Posted by: Mary Catherine | Link to this comment | 04-11-08 8:33 PM
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Mutts mutts mutts. Especially those that are mainly but not entirely black labs - we called 'em Georgia black dogs, which apparently is not racist. But see Donna Haraway on the interesting side of the whole purebred thing.


Posted by: marichiweu | Link to this comment | 04-11-08 8:34 PM
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The wolverine is small (a bit smaller than a black lab, I think) but vicious, and has been known to attack bears and moose.

And the fucking Russians.


Posted by: Gonerill | Link to this comment | 04-11-08 8:36 PM
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We have always gotten pound dogs. Had bad luck with a puppy once with distemper, but usually they seemed to have better health and dispositions than breeds.

I am hesitant to discuss my own dogs on a blog, because they are, and I kid you not, becoming famous in the area. They are that great. Been on TV twice.


Posted by: bob mcmanus | Link to this comment | 04-11-08 8:38 PM
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Have you been biting them or someting, bob?


Posted by: Gonerill | Link to this comment | 04-11-08 8:39 PM
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we called 'em Georgia black dogs

We never called 'em that.

And as a matter of fact, I have never even heard of such an appellation. I guess I learn something new on the blogosphere almost every other day week.


Posted by: Mary Catherine | Link to this comment | 04-11-08 8:42 PM
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The wolverine is small (a bit smaller than a black lab, I think) but vicious, and has been known to attack bears and moose.

One's been spotted in the Tahoe area. Supposedly DNA tests on the scat are consistent with the Rocky Mountain populations. To my knowledge they're still not sure how it got to Tahoe.


Posted by: gswift | Link to this comment | 04-11-08 8:45 PM
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Sugar gliders look totally unfit for Republican disposal.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 04-11-08 8:49 PM
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44: mcmanus, those "Stupid Pet Trick" videos are an insult and an affront to our other-specied companions, and they degrade both the animals and the humans.

(You know I'm kidding, right? I bet your dogs are great).


Posted by: Mary Catherine | Link to this comment | 04-11-08 8:49 PM
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My niece with the Mohawk was on TV when she shook hands with Hillary. Our family seems to be dividing on gender lines.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 04-11-08 8:53 PM
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Poodle mixes. You can't go wrong.


Posted by: ryan | Link to this comment | 04-11-08 8:54 PM
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45:Well, the partner is part of it. But I also walk them for hours in as many different areas, usually parks but often neighborhoods and sometimes strip malls, as I can reach. Places people don't walk. Vacant lots and undeveloped fields.

Not only are the matched pair distinctive, but I may be the only 5 foot troll with a pony tail and full white beard in the Metroplex. Everybody smiles and waves at me from their cars, even twenty miles from home. It's spooky.

The dogs are gorgeous looking. In disposition they are independent and a little wild-skittish. It is a challenge to get them to approach a stranger for affection, like petting a wild horse or something. Neither aggressive or real frightened, just indifferent. So many people get an accomplishment:"Hey I got ___ to come up to me"

They also love each other madly and overtly.

They are beloved.


Posted by: bob mcmanus | Link to this comment | 04-11-08 8:57 PM
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My dad and his wife went through an elaborate process to find a breed with all the exact characteristics they were looking for. They ended up with a Stabyhoun, who is whip smart, incredibly friendly, totally lovable, strikingly handsome, and a huge pain in the ass.

He is calming down a bit more now.

Why can't the cat people and the dog people just get along it on in the front yard as the bus is pulling up?


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 04-11-08 9:05 PM
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It's been a while since I went to Washington Square Park on a weekend morning, but I used to be amazed at some of the dogs I'd see at the dog run. Not just small and citified pooches, but big, big animals that looked like they'd be happy working on farms or something. It doesn't seem fair to have a big dog in the city: they really do need to run around a lot in open spaces.

But it's also not fair to have a small dog in the city, because they are the ones with the most energy. The right streategy is to get one that is bred to be neurotic and is equally unhappy in any place on earth.

I wouldn't spend money on a fancy bred dog or cat anyway, unless there was somehow no acceptable offerings at the local shelter.

That being said, my great-aunt had a Schipperke, and I was the only person it liked except for her, so I grew up sort of thinking I should get one of those.


Posted by: Fatman | Link to this comment | 04-11-08 9:14 PM
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The right streategy is to get one that is bred to be neurotic and is equally unhappy in any place on earth

This is my puppy, Woody Allen.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 04-11-08 9:15 PM
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The right strategy is to get one that is bred to be neurotic and is equally unhappy in any place on earth.

Ah, good point. And a neurotic dog is especially well suited to the NYC environment, where "therapy" is just another part of one's "personal maintenance" routine (along with eyebrow waxing and competitive yoga and all the rest of it), and there are actually dog therapists listed in the Yellow Pages, along with some doggie day care centres.

47: I didn't realize there were wolverines as far south as Tahoe. I have no idea of their geographical distribution, but I do know that they are all over Ontario. For real, they scare me more than wolves or bears.


Posted by: Mary Catherine | Link to this comment | 04-11-08 9:25 PM
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Mary Catherine, have you been reading those anti-US propaganda comics the Canadian government prints, again?


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 04-11-08 9:27 PM
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57: Either that, or watching Red Dawn on TNT.


Posted by: Knecht Ruprecht | Link to this comment | 04-11-08 9:29 PM
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Friends used to have Irish Wolfhounds about this big. Beautiful dogs -- and effing gigantic -- but sadly short-lived and prone to all the joint problems that big breeds seem to suffer from.


Posted by: Gonerill | Link to this comment | 04-11-08 9:31 PM
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have you been reading those anti-US propaganda comics the Canadian government prints, again?

Only since early childhood, Sifu. O Canada stands on guard against thee.


Posted by: Mary Catherine | Link to this comment | 04-11-08 9:36 PM
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but I do know that they are all over Ontario. For real, they scare me more than wolves or bears.

Really? I thought they were practically extinct. [Revises plan to move to Georgian Bay]


Posted by: mcmc | Link to this comment | 04-11-08 9:36 PM
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Basenjis are the only kind of dog worth having.

They don't bark.
They barely shed.
They clean themselves like cats.
They're beautiful.
They're vicious killers, without conscience, but they only kill those animals that deserve to die.


Posted by: expat lumberjack | Link to this comment | 04-11-08 9:37 PM
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59: My stepfather's parents have always had Irish Wolfhounds. The first one they had when I met them was old and kinda dim; when he died, they went back to the same breeder and got a puppy. (Even at 6 months, he was larger than a golden retriever.) When they brought him home, they discovered two things: a) the 6-foot-tall fence they'd used to keep in their old dog was no obstacle whatsoever to the new one, and b) he thought he was a lapdog.


Posted by: Josh | Link to this comment | 04-11-08 9:39 PM
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expat lumberjack

shivbunny?


Posted by: CN | Link to this comment | 04-11-08 9:39 PM
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I didn't realize there were wolverines as far south as Tahoe.

Historically down that far, but pretty much thought to be slim to none in CA for a long time. Pic was captured on a motion camera by a grad student.


Posted by: gswift | Link to this comment | 04-11-08 9:41 PM
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On a motion camera? Live in the first decade of the 20th century much, gswift?


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 04-11-08 9:42 PM
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Oh, motion-detecting. Oh you, gswift.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 04-11-08 9:43 PM
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I strongly suspect that doggie day care centers are the worst offenders among businesses with irritatingly cutesy names. Case in point.


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 04-11-08 9:44 PM
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The picture in that story doesn't work for me. Or do wolverines have the power to soak up surrounding light?


Posted by: eb | Link to this comment | 04-11-08 9:44 PM
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69: Wolverines only emit IR light.

68: hey, you're the one who used the term "doggie day care."

That said, there's competition.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 04-11-08 9:46 PM
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The Lady said it was ok.

Video

Photo

Site

Best dogs ever. Costs about a grand apiece, unless you have some crazy luck.


Posted by: bob mcmanus | Link to this comment | 04-11-08 9:47 PM
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70: see 56.

eb, the picture is from a camera that detects warmth and motion. Try peeing on it.


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 04-11-08 9:49 PM
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Bob is that a picture of you?!?


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 04-11-08 9:49 PM
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expat lumberjack

shivbunny?

Emerson, obviously. He's always wanted to go up the [Opeongo] line and be a shantyboy and not have to take a bath for months on end. 'Tamarack 'er down!' is what Emerson has always wanted to say.


Posted by: Mary Catherine | Link to this comment | 04-11-08 9:50 PM
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I found an article with not one but two photographs of the wolverine. So there.


Posted by: eb | Link to this comment | 04-11-08 9:52 PM
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Couple pics of the Tahoe wolverine here.

http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2008/03/25/BAHKVPL1V.DTL

I'd love to see one in the wild. They're still in ID in the Sawtooth Range. I was thinking of taking the family camping up there this summer.


Posted by: gswift | Link to this comment | 04-11-08 9:52 PM
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They're apparently also in the Cascades in Washington.


Posted by: eb | Link to this comment | 04-11-08 9:56 PM
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Cats.


Posted by: NBarnes | Link to this comment | 04-11-08 9:58 PM
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Cats aren't in the Cascades, NBarnes. They've been eaten by the wolverines.


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 04-11-08 10:00 PM
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Wolverines are apparently a kind of weasel.


Posted by: eb | Link to this comment | 04-11-08 10:02 PM
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Okay, I suppose it's a bit hard to imagine McManus as Dr. Don Anderson.

Still, is that pic uncanny, or what?


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 04-11-08 10:03 PM
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Wolverines are apparently a kind of weasel.

Badgers, too. There are more kinds of weasel than you'd think!


Posted by: redfoxtailshrub | Link to this comment | 04-11-08 10:06 PM
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Ferrets, Giuliani as well.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 04-11-08 10:07 PM
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81:Taller and a little fatter, but that is much what I look like. I have arms and legs like that. Umm, I'm hairier, maybe. And I don't tan well.


Posted by: bob mcmanus | Link to this comment | 04-11-08 10:08 PM
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Giuliani is a rodent pretending to be a weasel.


Posted by: eb | Link to this comment | 04-11-08 10:09 PM
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I've heard that basenjis are the pinnacle of brilliant canine destructiveness and will silently and stealthily shred everything you own, open the refrigerator and consume all your carefully sealed foodstuffs, dismantle your grandfather clock and its inner workings, etc.


Posted by: redfoxtailshrub | Link to this comment | 04-11-08 10:12 PM
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80: Ice?


Posted by: Ari | Link to this comment | 04-11-08 10:21 PM
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86: Also, be careful of the hors d'oeuvre tray, since they love to eat pigs in blankets.


Posted by: Mary Catherine | Link to this comment | 04-11-08 10:21 PM
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My family's Siberian Husky once ate a whole chicken that had been out defrosting.


Posted by: eb | Link to this comment | 04-11-08 10:21 PM
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87: Ice


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 04-11-08 10:25 PM
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87, 90: Baby.


Posted by: Blume | Link to this comment | 04-11-08 10:27 PM
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My family's Siberian Husky once ate a whole chicken that had been out defrosting.

When I was a kid, my parents got me a miniature poodle. Not long after we brought the dog home, Mother's Day rolled around, and my dad decided to make a Sachertorte for my mom. He made both layers, and set them out on the kitchen table to cool, being very careful to push the chairs in so the dog couldn't get up onto the table.

When he came back a few hours later, he discovered that the dog had eaten exactly half of each layer.


Posted by: Josh | Link to this comment | 04-11-08 10:27 PM
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91: All right now STOP, collaborate and... comment?


Posted by: Josh | Link to this comment | 04-11-08 10:29 PM
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When he came back a few hours later, he discovered that the dog had eaten exactly half of each layer.

Because poodles are so smart! It was just trying to make you one full layer.

I had a miniature poodle from age 3 to age 20. When I see a poodle now, my first urge is to run up to it and hug it.


Posted by: Blume | Link to this comment | 04-11-08 10:30 PM
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When I see a poodle now, my first urge is to run up to it and hug it.

Can someone remind me how to do the strikeout thing? I really must rework the above sentence. I simply must.


Posted by: Ari | Link to this comment | 04-11-08 10:32 PM
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<strike>stricken text</strike>


Posted by: eb | Link to this comment | 04-11-08 10:33 PM
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<strike> Ari, for fair pay for hard commenting. to put a line through something. </strike>


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 04-11-08 10:33 PM
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A friend sent me this back in '99 (I think). But it now seems like it must be a hoax. Or not.


Posted by: Ari | Link to this comment | 04-11-08 10:35 PM
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Because poodles are so smart!

I dunno about smart, but they're definitely neurotic. This particular poodle was convinced he was human; when he lay on the bed, he wouldn't curl up at the foot the way most dogs would, he'd lay lengthwise with his head on the pillow. Goofy damn dog.

There's also nothing quite so ridiculous as a poodle just back from the groomer who's just spotted a squirrel. The contrast between the ridiculous haircut and the pointing...


Posted by: Josh | Link to this comment | 04-11-08 10:35 PM
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Oh, that's really easy. Still, the moment has passed. But thanks.


Posted by: Ari | Link to this comment | 04-11-08 10:36 PM
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What about post-racing-years greyhound adoption? I've heard they're super hyper for about ten minutes a day, then largely layabouts. Also good with kids supposedly.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 04-11-08 10:37 PM
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Oh, that's really easy. Still, the moment has passed. But thanks. gosh, fellas, that was really helpful! Now I'll make it up to you by making the joke I said I would, moment be damned!


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 04-11-08 10:37 PM
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stricken text

"Woe! Woe is me!"?


Posted by: Josh | Link to this comment | 04-11-08 10:37 PM
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Huh, guess I don't know how to do that after all.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 04-11-08 10:37 PM
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I do, on the other hand, know how to google ugly puppy.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 04-11-08 10:38 PM
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104: Pssst, Sifu: there's a "Preview" option. It's quite nice.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 04-11-08 10:38 PM
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Poodles are Faustian, aren't they?

(I have not read any version of the Faust story. Might as well admit it now.)


Posted by: eb | Link to this comment | 04-11-08 10:38 PM
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What about post-racing-years greyhound adoption?

Or a whippet! I want to adopt two whippets and call one "Devo" and the other "Nitrous".


Posted by: Josh | Link to this comment | 04-11-08 10:39 PM
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Fuck that noise. I am a creature of the present.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 04-11-08 10:39 PM
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103: Learn to resist the low-hanging fruit, Josh. It's often rotten.


Posted by: Ari | Link to this comment | 04-11-08 10:41 PM
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I've been wanting to get a Labradoodle or a Golden Doodle. Hypoallergenic!


Posted by: Spike | Link to this comment | 04-11-08 10:41 PM
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109 to whatever. I got my Irish up.

(It just occurs to me -- no lie -- that "got my Irish up" may be a phrase with offensive connotations. Thanks, history!)


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 04-11-08 10:41 PM
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Sifu's a creature! Becks, your friends can adopt Sifu.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 04-11-08 10:41 PM
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Oh that this too too sullied text
Would blur, smudge and resolve itself into a strikethrough


Posted by: eb | Link to this comment | 04-11-08 10:41 PM
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I want a hybrid shih-tzu/poodle, or Shitzoodle.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 04-11-08 10:42 PM
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Learn to resist the low-hanging fruit, Josh.

You're new here, aren't you.


Posted by: Josh | Link to this comment | 04-11-08 10:42 PM
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I'm just kidding. I want a hybrid Bull Mastiff/Shih Tzu: a Bull Shit.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 04-11-08 10:42 PM
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116: leave him alone, he'll starve to death soon enough.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 04-11-08 10:43 PM
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At your service.


Posted by: Ari | Link to this comment | 04-11-08 10:43 PM
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119 should have looked like this:

Thanks, history!

At your service.

Funny now?


Posted by: Ari | Link to this comment | 04-11-08 10:44 PM
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At your service.

That reminds me... do we actually have enough Jews here for a minyan?


Posted by: Josh | Link to this comment | 04-11-08 10:45 PM
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Oh my god. It turns out the Shih Tzu/Poodle mix is actually called a Shitpoo.

Reality outfunnies me again.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 04-11-08 10:45 PM
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Somebody put a shitpoo on Santa!


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 04-11-08 10:47 PM
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Oh my god. It turns out the Shih Tzu/Poodle mix is actually called a Shitpoo.

You should buy one and name it "Redundant". Once, I almost got a friend to name his new dog "Microsoft" (no, not clever; just silly to have to call for "Microsoft!" at the dog park). His SO vetoed it.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 04-11-08 10:48 PM
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Normally I can't stand yip-yip dogs, but now I totally want a Shitpoo.


Posted by: Spike | Link to this comment | 04-11-08 10:49 PM
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112: No offense with getting your Irish up, if you actually had any to get up in the first place. Irish, I mean. You know, like the wolfhounds (who suffer from hip and joint problems).


Posted by: Mary Catherine | Link to this comment | 04-11-08 10:51 PM
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126: yeah no.

"Got my WASP up" just doesn't have the same panache.

"Aye I'll pop my collar and put on my boat shoes, just watch, punchy!"

No.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 04-11-08 10:58 PM
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Whatever dog you get, you need the tennis-ball launcher.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 04-11-08 11:05 PM
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"Aye I'll pop my collar and put on my boat shoes, just watch, punchy!"

You could make this your signature expression, and it might even go viral on YouTube.

I once looked after a shih tzu that faked an illness. I'm not even kidding.

I don't love a toy breed.


Posted by: Mary Catherine | Link to this comment | 04-11-08 11:06 PM
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There's a kind of Chinese lion sculpture called something like a "shih tzu." My family has one.


Posted by: eb | Link to this comment | 04-11-08 11:08 PM
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128: Forgive me if someone has already asked, but why can't you have the Lab of your dreams?


Posted by: Ari | Link to this comment | 04-11-08 11:20 PM
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"Aye I'll pop my collar and put on my boat shoes, just watch, punchy!"

Tweety? Is that you?


Posted by: Josh | Link to this comment | 04-11-08 11:26 PM
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expat lumberjack is not shivbunny.

I also want a poodle (shivbunny hates dogs, tho), because they seem like intelligent animals with boufy hair.


Posted by: Cala | Link to this comment | 04-11-08 11:33 PM
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133: They only have boufy hair if they're groomed that way. Unfortunately, it is impossible to find a dog groomer who *won't* groom a poodle that way if given the opportunity.


Posted by: Josh | Link to this comment | 04-11-08 11:38 PM
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||
These people make me happy.
|>


Posted by: Josh | Link to this comment | 04-12-08 12:06 AM
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Get a Komondor. It's the only breed that naturally grows dreadlocks. Case closed.


Posted by: Gaijin Biker | Link to this comment | 04-12-08 1:41 AM
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My folks got two mutt sisters from a dog "rescue" organization, one of whom turned out to be (surprise, surprise) incredibly neurotic, to the point where she freaks out and attacks her sister if I show up wearing an unfamiliar hat. (Otherwise she is an incredibly sweet dog) She also pisses herself if she hears a train. If you can handle that level of crazy, by all means go to a rescue shelter. If not, beware.


Posted by: hypnotizingchickens | Link to this comment | 04-12-08 1:50 AM
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Dogs rule. Cats would be great too, if they wouldn't cause me to die by curling up on my face out of love.

If I ever got anything resembling a breed, I'd actually just ask for a custom mutt. Probably my ideal would be one part Newfoundland, one part Mastiff, one part Border Collie, and one part Akita. It would be such a chilled out, smart, and generally awesome dog.

It would be the ultimate in non-violent guarddogs, too, capable of protecting my shit just by sitting on intruders and licking them into submission.


Posted by: Po-Mo Polymath | Link to this comment | 04-12-08 1:51 AM
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138: I could never own that dog. I would be humming songs off Odelay all damn day just from seeing it. Much as I love "New Pollution", my friends would probably murder me for singing the same four lines of it over and over and over and over and over...

Also, people west of Chicago: When this tour comes through your town, go to it. For sure. Especially if they're playing as small of venues in the other cities as they did here.


Posted by: Po-Mo Polymath | Link to this comment | 04-12-08 2:04 AM
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Arg, 139.1 was actually to 136.

And with that, I should get to bed.


Posted by: Po-Mo Polymath | Link to this comment | 04-12-08 2:05 AM
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I would have quite liked a rescue mutt (would have been cheaper too!), but my 7 year old is scared of dogs, so we thought it was better to get a puppy and know where he'd come from.

We had planned it for about a year - decided on a Welsh Terrier because we wanted a smallish dog that didn't shed and wouldn't bark too much. I didn't want a short-haired dog, and C's Welsh ... as soon as we saw the WT we liked them, and everything we read about their temperaments seemed to fit with our family.


Posted by: asilon | Link to this comment | 04-12-08 5:30 AM
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Oh, and beautiful dogs, Bob.


Posted by: asilon | Link to this comment | 04-12-08 5:31 AM
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IME, variation between dogs of the same breed (or non-breed) is as great as between breeds. Not that there aren't trends and tendencies, but it makes no more sense to get a sheltie because my parents had one than it would to say 'my first girlfriend identified Irish Catholic, so I think I'll only date IC gals from here out.'

In addition to the physical constraints noted above, I'd add another. It's been four years since I had to put my Siberian down. I'm almost ready to love again.


Posted by: NĂ¡pi | Link to this comment | 04-12-08 5:51 AM
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I had a siberian husky when I was a kid. Someone stole him. I'm still hurting, Napi. Let's hug?


Posted by: will | Link to this comment | 04-12-08 6:09 AM
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"Aye I'll pop my collar and put on my boat shoes, just watch, punchy!"

I think it works more like, "I'll start drinking G&Ts at noon and sarcastically explain to you why I never loved your mother."


Posted by: oudemia | Link to this comment | 04-12-08 6:14 AM
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We had huskies and malamutes when I was growing up, and so now my taste in dogs does indeed run to the "big, fluffy, winterized" types. Our beloved Vanka was a Chinook (a salmon! how did we walk him on a leash?) and I'm thinking we'll get another one plus a pound puppy as a conscience offset.


Posted by: oudemia | Link to this comment | 04-12-08 6:16 AM
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As I have mentioned previously, my family has lots of exotic animals (camels, monkeys, zebras, etc).

I've had my filled of animals.

Our beagle died a month ago. Our dalmation will be dying soon if she keeps snarling at us. BR wants another dog. Every time we see a dog, her eyes light up.


Posted by: will | Link to this comment | 04-12-08 6:24 AM
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oudemia:

Both you and CA live in the cold winter land. I would love a husky or fluffy dog in the cold, unfriendly land in which you live.


Posted by: will | Link to this comment | 04-12-08 6:25 AM
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145: and then I'll kick your ass at croquet before falling asleep at wheel and having the understanding local cop cover it up.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 04-12-08 8:13 AM
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Fine, Sifu. It's a sail off. I choose swans.

[A friend's father really does weave all over his NE town with a martini in the cupholder. The cops smile and wave.]


Posted by: oudemia | Link to this comment | 04-12-08 8:20 AM
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Somewhat related:

Being an extremely hot girl will still sometimes help you get avoid getting arrested for dui, and instead only get underage possession of alcohol.


Posted by: will | Link to this comment | 04-12-08 8:38 AM
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150: I choose Hobie Cat!

Go, Pokeyacht, go!

On the local cops thing, yeah: I helped plan a wedding last summer in [ quaint seaside NE town ] and the way you manage parking is to hire a local cop, who then tells you to go ahead and park on the street. Don't hire the cop? Parking on the street won't work so well for you.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 04-12-08 9:00 AM
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My sister-in-law (whom Jesus has met) is named Ho/bie, after the boat. I believe that the inventor was her grandfather or great-uncle or something.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 04-12-08 9:12 AM
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Bob, those are really awesome dogs. They make me want to move to the country so I can have a couple. They also seem like they're not overbred, if that's the word.


Posted by: Bave Dee | Link to this comment | 04-12-08 9:28 AM
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153, I had friends growing up who named their dog Hobie, after the boat. Since this is a dog thread. Hobie was a doberman, which has a certain ring to it. She was non-threatening but wildly hyperactive - if you threw one stick she'd chase imaginary sticks for hours until she got stuck in a fence and tore herself up.


Posted by: marichiweu | Link to this comment | 04-12-08 9:50 AM
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Fortunately, my sister-in-law, the master piemaker, is not as bad as that.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 04-12-08 9:57 AM
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Just remember that you can't leave a wolf alone with your furniture because it will have to learn what's inside those pillows, that upholstery...

If I still lived on 30 acres overlooking the Housatonic, I'd have a husky or a malemute. As I live in a city, I have bunny slippers.

Remember that cats are invaluable at training puppies. One of mine had the local Alsation cowed, even after it grew to be a large adult. Damn dog would see the cat and run in terror, its mind churning "small furry thing = nose pain".


Posted by: DominEditrix | Link to this comment | 04-12-08 10:27 AM
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157 *Some* cats are invaluable at training puppies! My parents' cats were all horrified by our puppy (he was smaller than all of them when they first met him). Eventually one did bop him on the nose for sniffing too close to her, but the others keep well away (). Even their year old tom, who's usually a real fighter, was scared.


Posted by: asilon | Link to this comment | 04-12-08 10:40 AM
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Dunno what happened to the html there. That's one of their cats (not the tom) up the chimney, keeping an eye on the dog.


Posted by: asilon | Link to this comment | 04-12-08 10:42 AM
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154:They also seem like they're not overbred, if that's the word.

I should probably get the exact info from the sites, but I think Carolinas are UKC, not AKC, and b) preferably bred with wild Carolinas. Now the wild Carolinas do breed with feral dogs of all natures, but they are not mutts or dingos. Carolinas are kinda dingos with very specific markings and characteristics.

I'm really talking out my ass. But I think AKC defines breeds by bloodlines, pedigree, and then attributes, whereas UKC defines breeds by attributes. So if a rottweiler get into the swamps, and one puppy looks like a rott, the other four are called Carolinas if they look like Carolinas. The AKC would throw a fit because you might get another Rotty puppy in the next generation.

UKC Page ...recognized as a breed only since 1995. If I talk about them too much, it is because I and others find them not only pleasing but very interesting.

But if you breed two Carolina you get mostly Carolinas. So they have many of the advantages of mutts.

Mine are rescue dogs. The shelter kept them as a pair for 8 months, and would only allow an adoption as a pair at two for one prices. Because a) they were so affectionate with each other, and b) because they were obviously a breed, with identical markings, and c) because they were very special dogs.

They didn't bark with the other dogs in the kennel, for instance, but sat quietly and checked things out for themselves. They very rarely bark.

Pack animals. If I am walking, they walk with me. If we go into the woods, I can tell them to take off, while I sit under a tree, and they will quietly disappear, checking back every 15 minutes. At an airport terminal, they sit quietly alert for hours while I read.

They aren't cuddle dogs, never resting touching each other or humans. They don't avoid contact or shy away from it, they just seem to prefer a little space, as long as they are near you or each other.

Some people find Carolinas strange.


Posted by: bob mcmanus | Link to this comment | 04-12-08 11:25 AM
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Chinooks are UKC not AKC, too.


Posted by: oudemia | Link to this comment | 04-12-08 11:33 AM
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Oh. The lady picked them up, so I am not sure. But I think they were hard to adopt because when people saw them in the kennel, they would just sit back and stare. If called, they wouldn't come to the front. Maybe nuzzle each other a little. Neither frightened or friendly, and my guess is that people were put off by the standoffishness and independence.


Posted by: bob mcmanus | Link to this comment | 04-12-08 11:33 AM
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92.---When he came back a few hours later, he discovered that the dog had eaten exactly half of each layer.

The most astonishing thing my childhood dog, also a miniature poodle, did was to get into a wrapped box of See's Candy---on a table, in a bag---and eat, I swear to God, all of our favorite chocolates (Bourdeaux Creams) and leave alone our least favorite kind (Mints). Then he threw up on the Persian rug in the formal living room.

After that dog died (when he picked his THIRD fight with attack dogs seven times his size), my dad went with the traditional family breed: Cairn Terriers. Very, very sweet dogs. Not as smart as the poodles, but that's actually a pleasant upside, considering how crazed the poodle became. Only downsides to the cairn terriers: sensitive skin and a tendency to pee with excitement.


Posted by: Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 04-12-08 1:00 PM
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161: Stabyhouns are UKC as well.

Go to hell, AKC!


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 04-12-08 1:36 PM
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Oh wow, Stabyhouns look just like my childhood dog (pedigree-free, found by the side of the freeway).


Posted by: redfoxtailshrub | Link to this comment | 04-12-08 1:45 PM
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163 - funny, I've been sort of coveting cairn terriers lately. Do they bark a lot?

See, the pup just turned 11 - she's a chocolate lab - and a real sweetheart, but she's getting increasingly creaky and I've noticed that she's distressingly not been able to make it all the way out of our apartment complex in LA before a small bit of poo falls out of her butt. I wonder how long until she can't wait to get out of the HOUSE before this happens. I really need to stop giving her bran muffins and coffee for breakfast.

In the meantime, the GF's 4 yr old bichon LOVES her. He would be distressed to be alone all day so already we're talking about what dog to get when my pup shuffles off to the big dog run in the sky.

I'm loath to get a mutt. Here's why: purebreds, for all their genetic/inbreeding problems, are predictable. I have always known exactly how the pup would act in pretty much any situation: she acts like a lab. Friendly, goofy, obsessed with food and tennis balls, more likely to play with people than other dogs (excepting other labs - they're canine xenophobes). While the mutts I've had... not so much.


Posted by: moira | Link to this comment | 04-12-08 1:57 PM
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165: Hmmm, we always wondered what my father really did do with "Patches".


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 04-12-08 1:59 PM
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Oh, and despite my insistence that our current SF/LA lifestyle means that another lab doesn't make any sense whatsoever, I can't resist checking out this site. Baba, come home with me!


Posted by: moira | Link to this comment | 04-12-08 2:00 PM
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I haven't lived with the family's cairn for about ten years, so I hate to say for certain whether he's barky or not. This particular dog definitely barks at squirrels (real or imagined) and, wierdly, at ocean waves. He can spend a happy hour on the beach, barking away like a madman, warning those damn waves not to get too near to his turf. If my memories are correct (he's getting really old these days), he's been a comparatively mellow dog when indoors.


Posted by: Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 04-12-08 2:04 PM
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There are a couple of them around the Castro that we always see - they seem super sweet and well-mannered. Funny, in my old neighborhood (lower PacHts), the pup and I frequently ran into a terrier that was the brother (dfferent litter) of Tracker, the dog featured in Best in Show. (I can never keep the terrier breeds straight and yet I love this song.)


Posted by: moira | Link to this comment | 04-12-08 2:09 PM
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Of the various terriers that look sort of like Scotty dogs, the Cairn is definitely the nicest. Scotties are mean fuckers. My dad, who's universally beloved by dogs, claims that the only dog that ever bit him was a Scottie. Westies---the white-haired Scotty-dog-lookin' terrier---tend to be a bit skittish and nervous. Cairns---the handsome, tan-and-brown, muttish-lookin' Scottie-dog-lookin' terrier---are loyal and good-natured.

They're generally good with children, although they're not the sort of dog that will sit still for a bratty kid to climb all over it. Ours has been very patient with my nieces and nephews and second cousins, in the sense that he's never bitten or even really growled at the little monsters; he does however run away from them, as is quite senisble.

My understanding is that by and large, they're not overbred dogs; nobody's really getting a Cairn to have a purse-pet, so...


Posted by: Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 04-12-08 2:19 PM
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Huh. I've never met a skittish Westie. In my experience, they've all considered themselves to be all that and a bag of chips. Cock of the walk, as it were.


Posted by: oudemia | Link to this comment | 04-12-08 2:26 PM
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I may be relaying the prejudices of my father and uncle---proud Cairn-owners for a combined, oh goodness, forty-odd years.


Posted by: Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 04-12-08 2:30 PM
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164:We must be understanding, there are points to each side.

Imagine the poor puppy who comes from 15 generations of miniatiure collies but, thru no fault of anyone's and no hanky panky, comes out looking like a dachsund. The UKC would be cruel enough to tell that puppy he wasn't a miniature collie but a dachsund while the AKC would comfort him by calling him a imperfect miniature collie.

I ask you, which is the compassion?


Posted by: bob mcmanus | Link to this comment | 04-12-08 2:34 PM
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We had Cairn terriers growing up. They were great dogs.


Posted by: will | Link to this comment | 04-12-08 2:53 PM
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Ooh, I like that, getting all these pro-cairn recs - though yes, I feel a bit like a shit in plotting the NEXT dog while the current dog is asleep by the chair. (Though I suspect the other possibility will be the mini chocolate poodle which are unspeakably cute.)


Posted by: moira | Link to this comment | 04-12-08 3:04 PM
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OK, so we're planning the first camping trip of the year for the first weekend in May, and I'm worrying about the puppy getting cold at night. C tells me that a pile of blankets will be enough, but .. but .. he's only a baby ...


Posted by: asilon | Link to this comment | 04-12-08 3:07 PM
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177: yeah just so long as he can't get out from under the blankets you can leave him no problem.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 04-12-08 3:08 PM
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178 - so I should staple the blankets down around him?


Posted by: asilon | Link to this comment | 04-12-08 3:18 PM
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179: if he's just a puppy weighing it down with large rocks should work fine.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 04-12-08 3:23 PM
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Now *I* really want a cairn. Le sigh.


Posted by: Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 04-12-08 4:08 PM
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Erecting a cairn atop the puppy's blanket is probably excessive.


Posted by: peter | Link to this comment | 04-12-08 4:10 PM
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Puppies are heat seeking missiles. No enforcement methods will be required to make the pup stay warm.


Posted by: oudemia | Link to this comment | 04-12-08 4:12 PM
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Isn't the rule 20 lbs. of rocks per lb. of puppy? So for a 5-lb. puppy, you'd only need about 100 lb. of rocks.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 04-12-08 4:14 PM
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158: Oh, you've got to raise the cat on the mean streets of Cambridge, in a house that even squatters wouldn't have deigned to inhabit, with seven other students and the rather frequent presence of police cars. Only a very brave cat could have survived.


Posted by: DominEditrix | Link to this comment | 04-12-08 5:39 PM
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on my grandad's side we've always had springer spaniels (yay, so loving, but not the brightest taper on the candelabrum) or english setters (kind of tweaky as well as dumb, but I'm prejudiced by a truly awful biter my gdad insisted on keeping after many bad incidents; I have known a few great ones). these dogs all went away to hunting school so they were super-obedient. my family in DC had retired greyhounds (brain size of pecan, but sweet.) at my dad it's been mutts for a while and then pit bulls. my dream dog is a pit bull/boxer mix. there was a dude in my old neighborhood who had a brindle one and it was the greatest dog ever. I think it detracted from his manly, drug dealing cred that I was always running up to say "who's a good dog? who's goooood" to the wiggling, ecstatic dog rather than giving them a wide berth. I would want to have a lot of room for a dog like that, though, and a lot of mental attention. pit bulls are really smart, really loyal dogs. people in the south teach them to be vicious by having each random person who comes by the house beat the tar out of the with a 2x4. my dog raising would follow a different path.


Posted by: alameida | Link to this comment | 04-13-08 3:40 AM
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I feel a bit like a shit in plotting the NEXT dog while the current dog is asleep by the chair.

moira, that made me laugh out loud. I am sitting here watching BR's bad dog. I cannot wait until she is gone. Dalmations are bad dogs.

Even BR reluctantly admits that life will be better with a new dog.


Posted by: will | Link to this comment | 04-13-08 7:05 AM
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Pit bulls are perfectly wonderful dogs unless someone like Alameida comes along and turns them into pussies by training them improperly.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 04-13-08 7:23 AM
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Dalmations are bad dogs.

They really are. They share top billing with chows on my Dogs I Don't Trust list.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 04-13-08 8:26 AM
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Alameida is my friend in pit bull love. Boxers are pretty great too. I like a smooth dog (though sled-dog types also have their charms). I think an un-cropped pit bull is one of the handsomest dogs to be found, and when raised well have a delightful dignified but loving demeanor. I am infinitely too lazy to be a dog owner, let alone a pit bull owner, but would love to come over and chill with Alameida's dream dog.


Posted by: redfoxtailshrub | Link to this comment | 04-13-08 8:46 AM
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