Re: A Poll

1

What's a Slurpee? Sounds horrid.


Posted by: felix | Link to this comment | 04-14-08 10:51 AM
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Ever? Or just over the age of 12?


Posted by: mike d | Link to this comment | 04-14-08 10:52 AM
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3

Persian, please.


Posted by: TJ | Link to this comment | 04-14-08 10:52 AM
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4

Me! Did I also mention that I don't have a TV?


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 04-14-08 10:53 AM
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See, we are going to find some "my parents are both poets who throw pots in their spare time" folks here on Unfogged who have never had a Slurpee. Just like when I went to grad school and found out that several people in my department didn't know how to ride a bike.


Posted by: oudemia | Link to this comment | 04-14-08 10:53 AM
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What's a Slurpee? Sounds horrid.

Avoid urbandictionary on this one Felix.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 04-14-08 10:53 AM
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Man, slurpees are nasty. I don't think I've ever had one of my own, my parents' being---surprise, surprise---a bit stingy with money for junk food.


Posted by: Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 04-14-08 10:54 AM
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The first few months we lived in Oklahoma, my wife and I used to go for a run in the blistering heat every evening and then treat ourselves to Slurpees. Oddly, despite all the running, we got fatter. Also, our teeth decayed. Crytal meth probably would have been a healthier, and no less context-appropriate, way of self-medicating


Posted by: Ari | Link to this comment | 04-14-08 10:54 AM
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Me! Did I also mention that I don't have a TV?

And a rare auto-immune disorder that renders me unable to leave this bubble?


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 04-14-08 10:54 AM
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10

Is slurpee some sort of slang term now?


Posted by: Will | Link to this comment | 04-14-08 10:54 AM
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11

You'd appreciate them more if you saved up for one of your very own, JM.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 04-14-08 10:54 AM
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12

4 and 5 saw me coming. My parents are the other kind of conservative, though.


Posted by: Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 04-14-08 10:55 AM
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13

<raises hand>


Posted by: NickS | Link to this comment | 04-14-08 10:56 AM
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14

Also, it should probably be spelled "Slurpy."


Posted by: felix | Link to this comment | 04-14-08 10:57 AM
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4 and 5 saw me coming.

In addition to not having a Slurpee, JM refuses to buy curtains.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 04-14-08 10:57 AM
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16

15 casts a net over both Jackmormon and Jesus McQueen?


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 04-14-08 10:58 AM
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14: Not in Slurpee Nation, felix.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 04-14-08 10:59 AM
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I bought two curtains and then figured that the plants would eventually do the job for the other windows. But, really, Apo, have you seen what kind of prices they're asking for curtains? Outrageous!


Posted by: Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 04-14-08 10:59 AM
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I couldn't say definitively whether I have ever drunk a Slurpee, but I suspect tthe answer is that I have not. In the area where I grew up, even 7-11 was too upscale to survive in the local economy, so the local convenience stores carried a downmarket slurpee knock-off called the "slush puppy", which I used to enjoy pretty frequently.


Posted by: Knecht Ruprecht | Link to this comment | 04-14-08 11:00 AM
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20

I've had 'em, but usually the wife would rather just screw.


Posted by: Chopper | Link to this comment | 04-14-08 11:00 AM
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21

C'mon, I couldn't just leave that fruit hanging there.


Posted by: Chopper | Link to this comment | 04-14-08 11:01 AM
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22

JM, aren't kids supposed to rebel against their parents' constricting quirks? And I continue to be mystified that a slow-driving cheapskate has managed to stay in a relationship with an Iranian for years now. Totally mystified.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 04-14-08 11:01 AM
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23

I remember Slurpees as being more pricy than ice cream, back in the day.


Posted by: Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 04-14-08 11:01 AM
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24

Just like when I went to grad school and found out that several people in my department didn't know how to ride a bike.

I'm in grad school right now and one of the other grad students in my department had to google directions for how to change a lightbulb because he had never had to do it before.

...?!

(I suppose there's a lightbulb joke lurking in there somewhere.)


Posted by: Crabby Abby | Link to this comment | 04-14-08 11:01 AM
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I had Slush Puppies when I was a kid. I tried to order one in the winter and they laughed at me because I should have known they shut the machine down when it's too cold.


Posted by: SP | Link to this comment | 04-14-08 11:02 AM
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The real question is what added flavor of Slurpee is reasonable proof of the growing moral corruptness of the American soul? I say the cola flavored ones, which I don't remember existing when I was growing up.


Posted by: SomeCallMeTim | Link to this comment | 04-14-08 11:02 AM
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27

Do Icees count?


Posted by: ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 04-14-08 11:02 AM
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28

Further to 19, I have a colleague who grew up in fairly modest circumstances in an even more rural area (somewhere in West Bumfuck Canada north of Winnipeg), and he claims that the highest per capita consumption of slurpees in the world is in Manitoba.


Posted by: Knecht Ruprecht | Link to this comment | 04-14-08 11:03 AM
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re: 24

I suspect we all have stories like that. When I moved into my first student flat, about half my flat mates couldn't cook anything. Literally couldn't boil eggs.


Posted by: nattarGcM ttaM | Link to this comment | 04-14-08 11:03 AM
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Also, I think I've had a sip off someone else's Slurpee, but when rationing my precious junk food dollars as a child, I would so much raher have had a shake--I doubt I've ever purchased one for myself.


Posted by: Chopper | Link to this comment | 04-14-08 11:03 AM
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And I continue to be mystified that a slow-driving cheapskate has managed to stay in a relationship with an Iranian for years now.

His way of rebelling against his decadent parents was to become kind of a hippy minimalist.


Posted by: Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 04-14-08 11:04 AM
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I don't think I've ever had one of my own, my parents' being---surprise, surprise---a bit stingy with money for junk food.

It's so sad when a good impulse—using a possessive with a gerund—goes wrong like this.

CORRECT: "I don't think I've ever had one of my own, my parents being ..."
CORRECT: "I don't think I've ever had one of my own, owing to my parents' being ..."


Posted by: ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 04-14-08 11:04 AM
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As I recall, the Slurpee market died out in KCMO around the time that KCians discovered the "Italian ice." You can't throw a rock without hitting an Italian ice place in that town anymore.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 04-14-08 11:04 AM
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In addition to not having a Slurpee, JM refuses to buy curtains.

Yea, that made me laugh. I can admit it.


Posted by: Will | Link to this comment | 04-14-08 11:05 AM
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35

Heebie, they have curtains made from hemp now, you know, so it's okay to have them.


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 04-14-08 11:05 AM
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36

I typed up several papers for my boyfriend in college. When I said "that's enough", he claimed that he didn't know how to cut-and-paste in a Word document. But I leveled him with my -30 degree ice stare of doom and he figured it out.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 04-14-08 11:06 AM
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37

I'm not going to dignify 32 with a response.


Posted by: Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 04-14-08 11:06 AM
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38

Free Slurpees every July 11. Don't let lack of funds keep you from being a real American.

A Coke Slurpee is the equivalent of a can of Coke left in the freezer long enough to consistently slush up and not so long that one forgets about it and lets the can burst. Which is to say, awesome.


Posted by: KRK | Link to this comment | 04-14-08 11:06 AM
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I would so much raher have had a shake

I think this is an ice cream/sorbet distinction: slurpees are better for cleansing the palate prior to eating the chili cheese dog.


Posted by: SomeCallMeTim | Link to this comment | 04-14-08 11:07 AM
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40

Coke Icees are far superior to Coke Slurpees, though. Less granular.


Posted by: Amber | Link to this comment | 04-14-08 11:08 AM
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41

No. But I didn't get the the US until I was 21, which is past optimal Slurpee-indoctrination age.


Posted by: jim | Link to this comment | 04-14-08 11:08 AM
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42

SomeCallMeTim is a real American. And I'll bet that gswift would be commenting, if he weren't two-fisting a Slurpee and a microwavable burrito right now.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 04-14-08 11:09 AM
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Heebie, they have curtains made from hemp now, you know, so it's okay to have them.

But they probably have that ugly burlap aesthetic, which would clash with my mid-century vibe.

Plus I think you're thinking of Jackmormon?


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 04-14-08 11:09 AM
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A Coke Slurpee is the equivalent of a can of Coke left in the freezer long enough to consistently slush up and not so long that one forgets about it and lets the can burst. Which is to say, awesome.

Maybe you can enjoy one with the chicken at Gitmo, Frenchie.


Posted by: SomeCallMeTim | Link to this comment | 04-14-08 11:09 AM
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45

get TO the US

Bah.


Posted by: jim | Link to this comment | 04-14-08 11:09 AM
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46

To continue my response to ogged's 22: my Iranian honey has also never been in a car with me.


Posted by: Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 04-14-08 11:09 AM
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47

I've had more Slush Puppies than Slurpees.

Icees are gross.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 04-14-08 11:10 AM
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48

Just like when I went to grad school and found out that several people in my department didn't know how to ride a bike.

Really? That is amazing. I'd imagine they'd have at least learned how in undergrad, since that's how most people get around in the college towns I know.

And you non-Slurpee drinking people are the reason bald eagles cry. The grace of the 7-11 and Coca-Cola corporations gives us a miraculous concoction of finely crushed ice and chemically-optimized saccrine gels and what do you do? You throw it back in their faces, leaving them frozen and sticky with their own kindness.

Pina Colada slurpees are the flavor of my soccer-playing youth, when I used to stop by the 7-11 outside my schoolgrounds after middle school practices, buy a 44oz slurpee, and finish it by the time I got home (which was a 30 min commute, to be fair). These days I'm a bigger fan of the traditional cherry & coke blend or one of the more refreshing fruit flavors, and always pick one up to quench that incredible early morning thirst after hours of sweating away at a concert or DJ set.


Posted by: Po-Mo Polymath | Link to this comment | 04-14-08 11:10 AM
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Italian ices are good -- our Queens residents can tell of the loony Corona Ice King, or whatever he is called.
My fave item from the ice cream man, however, was the rainbow Sno-Cone. The ice cream truck in our neighborhood had the Europe '72 (is that right?) SnoCone-to-the-head cartoon guy on the side of it.


Posted by: oudemia | Link to this comment | 04-14-08 11:10 AM
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About $10 worth of Slurpee has been added to my tuition bill.

And 26 answers its own question right. The generic chemical-flavored Slurpee is somehow wholesome when compared to the crassly commercial Coca-Cola branded Slurpee.


Posted by: destroyer | Link to this comment | 04-14-08 11:10 AM
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Does a frozen margarita count? It's basically a tequila Slurpee; at some restaurants you can even see the same machines at work keeping the slush going.


Posted by: Nathan Williams | Link to this comment | 04-14-08 11:11 AM
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52

Do they have curtains in sackcloth and hairshirt yet?


Posted by: Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 04-14-08 11:11 AM
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In the time it took me to compose 48 and discuss lunch plans with a coworker, of course this thread swelled to a pwnerrific length.


Posted by: Po-Mo Polymath | Link to this comment | 04-14-08 11:12 AM
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I drank many Slurpees in my youth, and drinking them helped me grow up to be the putative American I am today.


Posted by: My Alter Ego | Link to this comment | 04-14-08 11:13 AM
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I'd imagine they'd have at least learned how in undergrad, since that's how most people get around in the college towns I know.

Not everyone goes to college in a college town.


Posted by: ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 04-14-08 11:13 AM
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To continue my response to ogged's 22: my Iranian honey has also never been in a car with me.

This reminds me: even the most liberal Americans, when I tell them that I've never rode in a car driven by a friend, give me the "New Yorkers are foreigners" eye.


Posted by: destroyer | Link to this comment | 04-14-08 11:14 AM
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cola flavored ones, which I don't remember existing when I was growing up.

So young to be experiencing age-related dementia, Tim. Cola Slurpees have always been with us, and they currently come in both Coke and Pepsi subspecies. What definitely did not exist during our childhood was the Sugar-free Crystal Light Peach Mango Fusion Slurpee. I gotcher growing moral corruptness.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 04-14-08 11:15 AM
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48: which reminds me, Po-Mo: do you listen to Mochipet? As of this morning I fucking love them (him), and they do evoke ear-ringing early-morning Slurpee consumption.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 04-14-08 11:15 AM
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48: Of the three people I remember who could not ride a bike, two went to Yale undergrad. I don't know what conclusions can be drawn here. Both were undergrad classics majors, so, you know, freak show.


Posted by: oudemia | Link to this comment | 04-14-08 11:16 AM
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I have drunk Bourbon slush, which is the grown-up version of a Slurpee, I think.


Posted by: jim | Link to this comment | 04-14-08 11:16 AM
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I don't think I've had a Slurpee. That's the 7/11 brand of crushed ice drinks, right?

I've had Slush Puppies (used to sell them at the local pharmacy. Nasty-asty stuff.) and Icees.


Posted by: Cala | Link to this comment | 04-14-08 11:16 AM
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Alarm Will Sound did a Mochipet arrangement (Of "Dessert Search for Techno Baklava") when I saw them last whenever ... and Mochipet was in the audience! It made me regret not having seen him perform on campus whenever it was that he did that.


Posted by: ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 04-14-08 11:17 AM
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I don't even think I've been inside a 7-11 more than twice.

Both were undergrad classics majors, so, you know, freak show.

Have I ever mentioned the crazy-ass graduation speech given by an undergraduate classics major at my graduation?


Posted by: ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 04-14-08 11:19 AM
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63: Do tell, Ben! I probably knew them! Who was it?


Posted by: oudemia | Link to this comment | 04-14-08 11:20 AM
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62: I was chagrined to discover he played in Boston less than two weeks ago. Oh, if only my ratio had been better.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 04-14-08 11:20 AM
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Ah, I can remember lugging cases of empty Pepsi bottles to the 7-11 and using the deposit refund to purchase Slurpees. Sweet youth.


Posted by: Di Kotimy | Link to this comment | 04-14-08 11:21 AM
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Moi!


Posted by: Invigilator | Link to this comment | 04-14-08 11:21 AM
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Ogged, the entire commenting section is now trolling you. Everyone currently standing within the borders of the continental United States has had a Slurpee, without exception.


Posted by: Walt Someguy | Link to this comment | 04-14-08 11:21 AM
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I don't even think I've been inside a 7-11 more than twice.

No bitching, Wolfson. They expressly reserve the right to refuse service, I think.


Posted by: SomeCallMeTim | Link to this comment | 04-14-08 11:22 AM
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63.last: surely the most appropriate place to give a graduation speech.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 04-14-08 11:22 AM
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I don't think there were any 7-11s in MN during my upbringing. I don't remember seeing many in my other places of residence, either. Hence, no Slurpees for me. Though I suppose if I really cared, I would have overcome these hardships to find a Slurpee regardless.


Posted by: Otto von Bisquick | Link to this comment | 04-14-08 11:22 AM
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I can't remember her name, but she definitely was blonde and had puffy lips, and wasn't Anna P/sarello. Maybe it was A--e Pr-tz? Is that even a person? All I know is that she was annoying in class. (She was somehow in every Latin class I took.)

The speech included the phrase "champagne and bonbons".


Posted by: ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 04-14-08 11:22 AM
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73

63.last:

Using symbolic indices like this is just making things more difficult for arthegall's bot, you know.


Posted by: ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 04-14-08 11:24 AM
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Yale undergrad...classics majors, so, you know, freak show.

Like my dear old exbeforelast. I believe she was also a Jesus freak at the time, standing on the lawn barefoot, haranguing people about the Lord.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 04-14-08 11:24 AM
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Po-Mo: do you listen to Mochipet?

Can't say that I have, but the AMG page looks very promising (Kid606 and DJ /rupture comparisons you say? Tell me more!). I've sadly neglected digging into breakcore much beyond following Kid606, Jason Forrest/Donna Summer, /rupture, and the occasional new mix released on Kid606's labels. So any recommendations are always welcome.


Posted by: Po-Mo Polymath | Link to this comment | 04-14-08 11:25 AM
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73: I would be surprised and disappointed if his bot didn't have exception parsing for that particular syntax.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 04-14-08 11:25 AM
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I believe she was also a Jesus freak at the time, standing on the lawn barefoot, haranguing people about the Lord.

Are you kidding? Did she seduce you as some sort of outreach program?


Posted by: SomeCallMeTim | Link to this comment | 04-14-08 11:26 AM
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I have drunk Bourbon slush, which is the grown-up version of a Slurpee, I think.

Oh, okay. I've had slushy mint juleps, so basically I've had a Slurpee, I guess.

We once got back from a trip to discover that there was nothing to eat in the house, so I went to the only place that was open after 2 a.m., a 7-11. It was the first time I'd been to one in years, and I just remember thinking OMFG, there is absolutely nothing here fit for a 2-year-old to eat. So I'm elitist, of course, but I did stop to consider that a great many 2-year-olds probably get nothing better than that to eat, which made me sad.


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 04-14-08 11:26 AM
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In my childhood, 7/11 belonged to the category of things--Busch Gardens and Steak & Ale being two others--that were unavailable as a practical matter, but which were advertised on the (100-miles distant) television station we watched. I imagined them to be indispensible components of the cosmopolitan Good Life I craved.


Posted by: Knecht Ruprecht | Link to this comment | 04-14-08 11:27 AM
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Have I ever mentioned the crazy-ass graduation speech given by an undergraduate classics major at my graduation?

The classics major delivering the high LAR ious latin speech at my (U.S.) graduation asked his girlfriend to marry him.


Posted by: Gonerill | Link to this comment | 04-14-08 11:27 AM
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81

I've had slushy mint juleps, so basically I've had a Slurpee

Enough with the trolling.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 04-14-08 11:27 AM
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82

75: if you use this on a mix before I get to I'll be mad.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 04-14-08 11:28 AM
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83

Are you kidding?

Nope. She wasn't a Jesus freak anymore when I dated her; religious, but not barefoot yelling at passerby religious.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 04-14-08 11:29 AM
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84

There were a total of three speeches at my graduation; I can't remember anything about one of them, but the standout was the one where the speechifyer announced that he was running off to found a circus. Which happened to be true, except that, insofar as the circus was based in Chicago, he wasn't really running off anywhere.


Posted by: ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 04-14-08 11:29 AM
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84: how did he leave the stage?


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 04-14-08 11:30 AM
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New entry for summer list: get ginormous cup from 7-11, make mint julep using an entire fifth of bourbon, take picture for ogged.


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 04-14-08 11:32 AM
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Nope.

So, basically, you're exactly the Shi'a the fundies are worried about.


Posted by: SomeCallMeTim | Link to this comment | 04-14-08 11:32 AM
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the speechifyer announced that he was running off to found a circus

Someone here just won a $7000 arts grant to go to clown college—er, to study "the unusual art form of clowning." I believe he has expressed interest in the circus as life-project.


Posted by: destroyer | Link to this comment | 04-14-08 11:34 AM
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89

to go to clown college

Duke?


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 04-14-08 11:35 AM
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90

you're exactly the Shi'a the fundies are worried about

I'll leave some Slurpee for you white folk.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 04-14-08 11:36 AM
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If memory serves, that person is already at clown college, destroyer.


Posted by: ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 04-14-08 11:36 AM
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89: I don't think that they're accredited yet.


Posted by: SomeCallMeTim | Link to this comment | 04-14-08 11:40 AM
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I believe she was also a Jesus freak at the time, standing on the lawn barefoot, haranguing people about the Lord.

Ah, the good old days.

At UVa, some guy used to come to the amphitheater in the spring and shout about the godless students.

"You know all those girls in their short, short shorts are going to lead to???!???!?!

FOR.......Ni.........[the crowd of students would then loudly finish with him] CATION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! [many cheers all around.]


Posted by: Will | Link to this comment | 04-14-08 11:43 AM
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If memory serves, that person is already at clown college, destroyer.

Zing! I'll pass that along, if I can find him. (Math major; you know.)


Posted by: destroyer | Link to this comment | 04-14-08 11:44 AM
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Someone here just won a $7000 arts grant to go to clown college--er, to study "the unusual art form of clowning."

Hey, I know the perfect socks for that.


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 04-14-08 11:45 AM
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I've had more Slush Puppies than Slurpees, but more Mr. Mistys from Dairy Queen than those two combined.


Posted by: Blume | Link to this comment | 04-14-08 11:47 AM
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In my childhood, 7/11 belonged to the category of things--Busch Gardens and Steak & Ale being two others--that were unavailable as a practical matter, but which were advertised on the (100-miles distant) television station we watched. I imagined them to be indispensible components of the cosmopolitan Good Life I craved.

Yes! Though for me it was Long John Silver's. (Seafood is pretty exotic for the heartland, okay?)


Posted by: Blume | Link to this comment | 04-14-08 11:51 AM
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more Mr. Mistys from Dairy Queen than those two combined

Oh, me too, actually. Mr. Mistys are great.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 04-14-08 11:51 AM
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The small pleasures of youth.

I remember thinking that I had won the lottery whenever my mom agreed to stop at Dairy Queen.

"WE ARE THE LUCKIEST KIDS EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!"


Posted by: Will | Link to this comment | 04-14-08 11:54 AM
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Of course I've had slurpees. I drank them all the time as a kid in the city. I think that there used to be a root beer flavor too.

I've had slush puppies too, though less often. I didn't realize that they were a cheap knock-off. I think that I thought that slurpees were the brand-name product and that slurpees were a 7-11 generic version.


Posted by: Bostoniangirl | Link to this comment | 04-14-08 11:57 AM
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I'm not a fan of flavored ice, in general. So, down with slurpees, slush puppies, mr. mistys, sno cones, and semi-frozen sodas. My favorite frozen treats are the butterfinger blizzard and the peanut-buster parfait, both from Dairy Queen.

Fun fact (well, not so fun): I don't think there is a single DQ in Chicago. Perhaps in the suburbs.


Posted by: Currence | Link to this comment | 04-14-08 11:58 AM
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I think parents are obligated to deprive their children of various joys: that way, when they're adults and are weighed down with anxieties and depression they can at least console themselves with all the slushees they can reasonably consume.


Posted by: Eggplant | Link to this comment | 04-14-08 11:58 AM
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101: Dairy Queen's website says 5 locations in Chicago.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 04-14-08 12:01 PM
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I don't think there is a single DQ in Chicago. Perhaps in the suburbs.

The Dairy Queen site says there are at least five in Chicago proper. About five million in the suburbs.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 04-14-08 12:02 PM
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My use of proper house style and additional info about the suburbs keeps the 103-104 progression from constituting a real "pwning."


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 04-14-08 12:03 PM
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106

Did she seduce you as some sort of outreach program?

The technical term is "flirty fishing", right?

Meanwhile, when I was a kid, I thought Coke was a rare treat; you got it when you saw Grandad.


Posted by: Alex | Link to this comment | 04-14-08 12:03 PM
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107

Fair enough.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 04-14-08 12:04 PM
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108

Holy crap. And you people think I'm the elitist pc lefty? Slurpees are fucking awesome.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 04-14-08 12:06 PM
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109

The technical term is "flirty fishing", right?

Holy crap. I was just reading about this the other day in the Children of God wikipedia entry. Notably this:

Children born as result of Flirty Fishing were referred to as "Jesus Babies". By the end of 1981, over 300 "Jesus Babies" had been born.


Posted by: oudemia | Link to this comment | 04-14-08 12:07 PM
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109: I like the idea that a critical question might be whether you love Jesus enough to join a threesome.


Posted by: SomeCallMeTim | Link to this comment | 04-14-08 12:09 PM
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100: that slush puppies were the brand-name original.


Posted by: Bostoniangirl | Link to this comment | 04-14-08 12:11 PM
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110: I would only have a threesome with two women. You know, because I'm a Christian.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 04-14-08 12:13 PM
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B-- I really loved that Blog Post you did about the KMart woman who sold you a hot dog and a slush puppy for PK when he was hot and hungry and you were broke for the change in your pocket.


Posted by: Bostoniangirl | Link to this comment | 04-14-08 12:13 PM
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Though for me it was Long John Silver's.

OH man, that is so sad. LJS's is *the* fast food place that you go to once every five to seven years, thinking "hey, fish! It's better than a burger, and it can't be that bad--what can you do to ruin fish?"

And then you have a few bites, remember, and throw the rest in the trash.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 04-14-08 12:14 PM
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I blame the slurpeearchy.


Posted by: Gonerill | Link to this comment | 04-14-08 12:15 PM
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113: Thank you. I still remember that. She was lovely.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 04-14-08 12:16 PM
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I had LJS dreams, too. I think I was well into my twenties before I made it there.


Posted by: SomeCallMeTim | Link to this comment | 04-14-08 12:16 PM
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And then you have a few bites, remember, and throw the rest in the trash.

Crazy hippie talk, that is. Long John Silver's is yummy. Hell, I don't even need the fish; they could just give me a basket of fried batter.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 04-14-08 12:19 PM
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I sleep in a Slurpee.


Posted by: marichiweu | Link to this comment | 04-14-08 12:21 PM
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118: Hell yes! Crispies are delicious.


Posted by: Armsmasher | Link to this comment | 04-14-08 12:23 PM
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I've never eaten at a LJS. In fact, I don't even think there is one near where I grew up. I dimly recall an Arthur Treacher's 20 minutes away, but I don't think we ever ate there either. I grew up next to the ocean, though, so maybe we didn't need one as much as everyone else.


Posted by: oudemia | Link to this comment | 04-14-08 12:25 PM
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Apo is correct; Tim is misinformed. Cola Slurpees are the ur-Slurpee.

We used to bicycle to the 7-11 to get RC's and moon pies, buy comic books and baseball cards and play video games. And anyone who didn't must have grown up in Communistan.


Posted by: Eric | Link to this comment | 04-14-08 12:26 PM
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I sleep in a Slurpee.

It's slipperee.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 04-14-08 12:27 PM
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Never had a slurpee.

Down here in Texas we do have stands about the size of one-hour photo booths that sell shaved ice + syrup. My preferences are vanilla on one side, Coke on the other; or pineapple coconut.


Posted by: bob mcmanus | Link to this comment | 04-14-08 12:28 PM
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Six Slurpee things:

- One summer I bought a Slurpee nearly every day, paid for with 93 pennies from my Tootsie-roll-shaped bank. The cashiers were surprisingly nice about this.

- Mixing flavors in layers! Do you remember the thrill of childhood transgression this inspired? Until, of course, they introduced the see-through Slurpee cups and you realized you weren't really putting one over on the clerk after all.

- Coca Cola is the One True Slurpee, although there is something to be said for all of the non-Pina Colada fruit flavors. Pina Colada, however, is disgusting, both practically and morally: its artificial coconut and brazen status as a means of giving kids a taste for rum are both inexcusable.

- When I was still playing ultimate frisbee on a regular basis I would sometimes get a large Slurpee and a quart of Gatorade immediate after and consume both. This is a particularly delicious (and nonfatal, thus far) way to experience what hyponatremia feels like.

- The key is to find a 7-11 that maintains its Slurpee facilities *just* poorly enough. Not broken too often. Sufficiently trafficked that your preferred cylinder isn't often over- or under-frozen. And with enough lingering residue from previous flavors that your coke slurpee has a delicious hint of artificial cherry or (best of all) Sunkist orange soda under it. Perfect.

- I still remember the joy I felt when 7-11 introduced the specially-shaped (and then adequately-long) Slurpee straw. Finally, a corporation that cares.


Posted by: Tom | Link to this comment | 04-14-08 12:28 PM
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I don't think I ever have made it to a LJS, and now I'm all east coastified and seafood snobby.

We did eat a fair amount of catfish when I was a kid, though. And some kind of frozen breaded fish fillets from the Schwann's man.


Posted by: Blume | Link to this comment | 04-14-08 12:29 PM
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Long John Silver's is yummy

True, yet even as a child I wondered uneasily just what went into hush puppies.


Posted by: Eric | Link to this comment | 04-14-08 12:29 PM
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14: Our network guy spells it "slurp33". Makes a reasonably good password, I guess.

I've never had one and I don't remember the kids being onto them. Flavored ice just doesn't sound appealing.


Posted by: Biohazard | Link to this comment | 04-14-08 12:30 PM
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I don't think I ever have made it to a LJS

Cap'n D's counts for the purposes of this exercise.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 04-14-08 12:31 PM
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Coca Cola is the One True Slurpee, although there is something to be said for all of the non-Pina Colada fruit flavors. Pina Colada, however, is disgusting,

This is so, so wrong. Pina Colada is, with Cherry, the greatest of presently available slurpees. I've previously professed my admiration for your technical abilities. Now I just feel violated and dirty.


Posted by: SomeCallMeTim | Link to this comment | 04-14-08 12:33 PM
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Also no on Cap'n D's. My parents were pretty suspicious of seafood in general.

Sifu and I are going to make them eat lobsters this summer. I already made my mom eat mussels when she was here visiting recently.


Posted by: Blume | Link to this comment | 04-14-08 12:33 PM
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Our network guy spells it "slurp33".

As a sophisticated urban elitist, I prefer the slurpé.


Posted by: felix | Link to this comment | 04-14-08 12:34 PM
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Arthur Treachers totally rocks. Also, Chicago-style hot dogs. Steamed poppy-seed buns, sport peppers, Vienna beef, celery salt, surly ex-con chef. I wept secret tears of joy when I found a grocery store here that sold celery salt.


Posted by: lw | Link to this comment | 04-14-08 12:34 PM
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Now that I think about it, it was Red Lobster that seemed most glamorous to me, not LJS.


Posted by: SomeCallMeTim | Link to this comment | 04-14-08 12:35 PM
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Pina Colada is, with Cherry, the greatest of presently available slurpees.

Even above Fanta Banana and Mountain Dew Blue Shock?


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 04-14-08 12:35 PM
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134: Now Red Lobster can flat-out fuck up some seafood.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 04-14-08 12:36 PM
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Even above Fanta Banana and Mountain Dew Blue Shock?

Your licentiousness sickens me.


Posted by: SomeCallMeTim | Link to this comment | 04-14-08 12:36 PM
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Yankee, please. We had moon pies and RC colas.


Posted by: Populuxe | Link to this comment | 04-14-08 12:36 PM
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Pina Colada is, with Cherry, the greatest.... Fanta Banana and Mountain Dew Blue Shock

Rankest heresies, all.


Posted by: Eric | Link to this comment | 04-14-08 12:36 PM
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130: Tim, I am doing my best to appreciate that you must experience the same depth of feeling on this issue as I do. So for now I will bite my tongue and suggest that we resolve our doctrinal differences only after we have successfully prosecuted war on the Slurpee nonbelievers.


Posted by: Tom | Link to this comment | 04-14-08 12:37 PM
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Jammies and I sometimes play "prom night" and get all dressed up to go to Red Lobster.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 04-14-08 12:37 PM
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It's no surprise that when faced with the end of their promising career and the sad realization that it was all a giant waste of time that people turn to slurpees.


Posted by: Gonerill | Link to this comment | 04-14-08 12:38 PM
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Yankee, please. We had moon pies and RC colas.

How do you say "pwned" in cracker?


Posted by: Eric | Link to this comment | 04-14-08 12:39 PM
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I can't believe you people like LJS. So, so horrifying.

My childhood junk food memory is that at the stable where we rode horses, there was a coke machine that sold soda *in little bottles*. After you've spent all afternoon working up a sweat mucking stalls and such, strawberry soda is so, so good.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 04-14-08 12:39 PM
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Pwn Cracker.


Posted by: Gonerill | Link to this comment | 04-14-08 12:40 PM
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I haven't actually had Fanta Banana or Mountain Dew Blue Shock (or any of the three Sugar-free Crystal Light Slurpee flavors). I do recommend checking out the rejected flavors at their website. My favorites were prosciutto and emoberry.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 04-14-08 12:40 PM
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I was brought up as a kid to hate two restaurants. Red Lobster, and a local place called "Yester-day's" that totally screwed up my mom's 35th birthday party.

Places that advertised on TV and looked great were really only Sonic and Chuck E. Cheese. To this day it seems that Sonic's locations are apparently in the same place as White Castle, that being "nowhere I've ever been". But Sonic advertises nationally nonetheless.


Posted by: ardent reader | Link to this comment | 04-14-08 12:41 PM
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mmmmmm White Castle. Yummy.


Posted by: Will | Link to this comment | 04-14-08 12:43 PM
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Jammies and I sometimes play "prom night" and get all dressed up to go to Red Lobster.

The more I get know you two, the more I get the sense that you actually *do* things like this, and don't just joke about them.


Posted by: rob helpy-chalk | Link to this comment | 04-14-08 12:43 PM
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should be "Places that advertised on TV and looked great but showed no signs of existing in real life".

Chuck E. Cheese looked like a crappy version of Discovery Zone, anyway. I'm going D.Z. at Discovery Zone. Discover what I can do on my own.


Posted by: ardent readerww | Link to this comment | 04-14-08 12:44 PM
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Remember Rax? Those were delicious sandwiches.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 04-14-08 12:44 PM
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I can't believe you people like LJS.

BitchPhD has shown yet again, this time through her condescension toward the good people of rural Pennsylvania, that she is out-of-touch with the pulse of this country and that she will be picked apart in the general election. Also, she has not renounced her affiliation with her church of kid-diddlers.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 04-14-08 12:45 PM
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My Mom drew the line at Chuck E. Cheese. She just couldn't take it. She would take us any place else, but not there.

I finally went to one for the first time when one of Caroline's friends had a birthday party there. It wasn't so dreadful.


Posted by: rob helpy-chalk | Link to this comment | 04-14-08 12:46 PM
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149: You're right!


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 04-14-08 12:47 PM
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136 is very true. That you recognize the heinousness of Red Lobster and yet can bear to choke down LJS amazes me.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 04-14-08 12:47 PM
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I've never been to a White Castle, and not to a Sonic since I was a little kid. They don't much seem to exist around here. However, I can attest that Chuck E. Cheese, quite apart from the migraine-inducing atmosphere, has just about the worst goddamned pizza imaginable.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 04-14-08 12:47 PM
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How do you say "pwned" in cracker?

I liked Nehi Peach better than RCs, anyway.


Posted by: Populuxe | Link to this comment | 04-14-08 12:48 PM
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There's a joint Taco Bell/LJS drivethrough near an old place of work. Mmmm, double tecker taco and clam strips!


Posted by: Chopper | Link to this comment | 04-14-08 12:49 PM
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Good to see that this site maintains a healthy diversity of opinion, with the "People who don't ride bikes are bizarre" consensus in this thread, and the "People who ride bikes are bizarre" consensus in the other thread.


Posted by: peter | Link to this comment | 04-14-08 12:49 PM
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So several people here were raised by hippies who didn't let them have slurpees. Is anyone here being a big hippy and denying slurpees to their kids?

Caroline and Joey are not Americans by Ogged's standards, and if things work out, won't ever be.


Posted by: rob helpy-chalk | Link to this comment | 04-14-08 12:49 PM
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It wasn't so dreadful.

::Boggles in horror::

White Castle really is as gross as people say. Sonic, on the other hand? Is FUCKING AWESOME. You can get tater tots instead of french fries there, people.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 04-14-08 12:50 PM
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153: You had them down in DC? We didn't get them up around NYC until much, much later. I remember my brother in CA telling me that the company didn't think a rat-like mascot would fly in the greater-NY area and that's why we didn't have them and everyone else did, but I assumed that he was full of shit, as he nearly always is.


Posted by: oudemia | Link to this comment | 04-14-08 12:50 PM
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155: Fast food exists in its own separate milieu, B. Comparing LJS and Red Lobster is like comparing apples and lube racks.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 04-14-08 12:50 PM
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I'm a slushy beverage snob. The one true vended frozen drink is the late, lamented Koolee from QuikTrip. Sadly, due to a lack of copyright foresight the Koolee wasn't marketable in every state QT operates in, so when they replaced the unreliable machines a few years ago they concocted the horrid name "Freezoni" for the product that comes from the new machines. The good news is, they're still satisfying and they're now somewhat reliably available in QTs outside Oklahoma. But oh, do I hate that name.

Slushees and their ilk are inferior, as they have some weird foaming agent added to them. Buy one and let it melt and it'll have suds on top long after the ice is gone. This doesn't happen with a Koolee, as QT always made them with the same syrup used for the soda fountain machines.

Since moving to DC I've occasionally made the mistake of getting a Slushee, but now that Rita's is in the neighborhood I'm happy. They don't sell Rita's in 44oz cups, though.


Posted by: fedward | Link to this comment | 04-14-08 12:50 PM
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To this day it seems that Sonic's locations are apparently in the same place as White Castle, that being "nowhere I've ever been".

Here in Chicago, all the White Castles I've been to are behind bulletproof glass where the cashier pushes food out using a rotating slot like a bank teller. If they stuffed a deposit receipt and some rolled coins into the bag instead of their sliders, it would probably provide a tastier and more satisfying meal.


Posted by: Po-Mo Polymath | Link to this comment | 04-14-08 12:51 PM
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160: Rob, stop fucking up your kids.

PK's current slurpee-resembling snack of choice is "Hawaiian" shaved ice, which is ubiquitous here. He gets it when we go to the swap meet on the weekends.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 04-14-08 12:51 PM
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One of my college friends worked as a Showbiz Pizza bear. They even let him take the bear suit home with him. I remember him wearing it to a couple of (non-furry) parties.


Posted by: Populuxe | Link to this comment | 04-14-08 12:53 PM
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We had Biff Burger, which in my youth did not know it was nostalgia-inducing, though it has since figured this out.


Posted by: Eric | Link to this comment | 04-14-08 12:53 PM
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Never mind slushies, my kids have never had pop. Wine, beer, and whiskey, yes, but no pop. (Little pitchers like to sneak the last drop out of glasses left on coffee tables. Yes, I'm a bad parent.)


Posted by: Chopper | Link to this comment | 04-14-08 12:54 PM
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Getting shave ice in Hawaii was a revelation. In a couple of months I'm going to be seriously craving some POG shave-ice.


Posted by: Nathan Williams | Link to this comment | 04-14-08 12:54 PM
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165: The White Castle near where Ridge crosses Clark is not like that -- or at least it didn't used to be. I went there with my friend Pete once.


Posted by: oudemia | Link to this comment | 04-14-08 12:55 PM
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162: We had them in northern Virginia, at least. Or rather, I know we had the ads. I never had evidence of the physical existence of one as a child.

And, really, they aren't so bad. The one I went to had a system of tubes you could crawl through and the slide down into big vat of plastic balls. And they had ski-ball and a couple good video games.


Posted by: rob helpy-chalk | Link to this comment | 04-14-08 12:55 PM
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A question for the group: is the idea behind Rita's Frozen Ice Gelati disgusting or intriguing? I haven't had it, although I can vouch for Rita's water ice being pretty good.


Posted by: Tom | Link to this comment | 04-14-08 12:56 PM
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169: I got roll-around-on-the-floor drunk doing that at least twice as a kid/toddler. I was a notorious drink stealer -- sneaking up on whiskey sours and tiny Rolling Rocks (it was the 70s) and pounding them really fast before anyone could stop me.


Posted by: oudemia | Link to this comment | 04-14-08 12:57 PM
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And, really, they aren't so bad. The one I went to had a system of tubes you could crawl through and the slide down into big vat of plastic balls. And they had ski-ball and a couple good video games.

The one here even encourages adults to play in the tube thing which is awesome if kind of exhausting. Most other places don't let you play in them of you are over some height.


Posted by: CJB | Link to this comment | 04-14-08 12:57 PM
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173: ?!?!?

Rita's Gelati with vanilla soft ice cream is about 400 times better than the Rita's ice on its own. I don't even know why you would think it's disgusting. Two pretty standard things combined together.


Posted by: ardent readerww | Link to this comment | 04-14-08 12:57 PM
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Exactly when did Unfogged become Lileks, with all this Slurpee and Chuck E. Cheese nostalgia? Why don't you tell us what you bought at Target, Ogged?


Posted by: Tassled Loafered Leech | Link to this comment | 04-14-08 12:58 PM
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That is, with certain flavors of the ice. Obviously the mint chocolate chip ice plus vanilla ice crea,m would not be as satisfying as the mango or green apple ice plus ice cream.


Posted by: ardent readerww | Link to this comment | 04-14-08 12:59 PM
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my kids have never had pop

Jesus, Chopper. PK called coke "tuht" before he could properly speak.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 04-14-08 12:59 PM
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176: I think I find it vaguely revolting because I can't avoid thinking of the endgame: when you've got a melting dairy product and a melting sugar water product. Surely that isn't kosher.

But if the frozen combination is sufficiently delicious, perhaps that final state isn't a concern.


Posted by: Tom | Link to this comment | 04-14-08 1:01 PM
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175: I love those tube things, and always play in them if I can fit.

There was a big one outside of Ottowa that I wanted to rent and use as the setting for a monster movie. It would be like an updated haunted carnival, except more claustrophobic. I'm not sure what kind of monster would go well there. Something oozing that can take up a whole tube and move quickly.


Posted by: rob helpy-chalk | Link to this comment | 04-14-08 1:01 PM
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PK called coke "tuht" before he could properly speak.

Was this because all his baby teeth rotted out?


Posted by: rob helpy-chalk | Link to this comment | 04-14-08 1:03 PM
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I'm sorry, the tube things and ball pits for kids are just gross. Also the big blow up bouncy castles. Who wants to be rolling around in some nasty plastic thing where thousands of filthy children have been rolling around, with their unwashed bottoms and snotty noses? Plus the bouncy castles, you just know those things are grossly hot inside and smell funny.

And don't try and tell me "oh, they spray those things down with massive chemicals to kill the germs." Like that would make it any better. Ew.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 04-14-08 1:03 PM
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180: The frozen combination is indeed sufficiently delicious, but the melty part isn't bad either (my strawberry custard/green apple ice concoction got melty Saturday and I lived to tell the tale). It's no more or less weird than a root beer float.

OTOH, I tried one of the Misto things where they run the two through a blender, and I wouldn't really recommend it.


Posted by: fedward | Link to this comment | 04-14-08 1:04 PM
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I still remember the joy I felt when 7-11 introduced the specially-shaped (and then adequately-long) Slurpee straw.

Yes, I forgot to mention the wonderful straws. A straw and a spoon all in one. Who could ask for anything more perfect?


Posted by: Bostoniangirl | Link to this comment | 04-14-08 1:05 PM
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Was this because all his baby teeth rotted out?

No. He's seven, and he had his first "filling" a month or so ago, which took no anesthesia and was really merely filling in a little crack in a back molar lest it become a cavity. So there.

(This year in school, his teacher had them do an experiment where they put a baby tooth--it was one of his that I surreptitiously supplied, but don't tell him that--in coke. He has since decided that he dislikes coke, though he'll still drink lemon-lime soda because the teacher told him--wrongly, I suspect, but oh well--that clear soda isn't as damaging as brown soda. He hasn't given up root beer, either.)


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 04-14-08 1:05 PM
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bought at Target

Quality wooden toys for under $10. Do you want to hear about comic book collecting next, or a collection of cereal-box toys from the late 80s? In another two years, Target will sell fixies, but only in hilly places.


Posted by: lw | Link to this comment | 04-14-08 1:06 PM
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filthy children have been rolling around, with their unwashed bottoms and snotty noses

At all the one's I've been to, the children are required to wear pants, B.

What strange naked ball pit do you go to?

And do they have an adults only night?


Posted by: rob helpy-chalk | Link to this comment | 04-14-08 1:07 PM
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PK called coke "tuht" before he could properly speak.

You cut his hair into a rat tail and let him wander around the trailer park without a diaper on, too, dincha.


Posted by: Chopper | Link to this comment | 04-14-08 1:09 PM
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the children are required to wear pants

And do you know where those pants have been? No you do not. And you still haven't addressed the snotty nose problem. PLUS they have to take off their shoes, so you're also talking about sweaty little socks. EW EW EW.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 04-14-08 1:09 PM
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Who wants to be rolling around in some nasty plastic thing where thousands of filthy children have been rolling around, with their unwashed bottoms and snotty noses? Plus the bouncy castles, you just know those things are grossly hot inside and smell funny.

They need to build up their immune system, B. Embrace the germs.


Posted by: Will | Link to this comment | 04-14-08 1:10 PM
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