Re: You Think You're Old

1

Was she five years old?


Posted by: snarkout | Link to this comment | 04-21-08 7:13 PM
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Is it because she should have done so without asking that you were so upset?


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 04-21-08 7:15 PM
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West Asian peoples regard the monobrow as normal and even attractive. Humanity is wonderfully diverse.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 04-21-08 7:18 PM
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I wasn't going to say anything, but did she do something about trimming the hair in your ears?

(Whippersnapper. I'm older than you are.)


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 04-21-08 7:18 PM
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Age is measured in more than just years, LB.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 04-21-08 7:21 PM
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did she do something about trimming the hair in your ears?

Yes, she turned the clipper edgewise and stuck it in my ear. That's been happening for years now. The eyebrow question was new, although I was actually considering a post on newly unruly eyebrows even before her affront.

The Newly Unruly: band name.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 04-21-08 7:22 PM
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"She Turned the Clipper Edgewise and Stuck It in My Ear: A Sensual Memoir"


Posted by: redfoxtailshrub | Link to this comment | 04-21-08 7:27 PM
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The Wittgensteinian George Pitcher had Guinness world record eyebrows.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 04-21-08 7:27 PM
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The clipper's loose now, though, right?


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 04-21-08 7:28 PM
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I had a wonderful Medieval Lit professor whose name I've forgotten, who had a big Ned Flanders moustache, and scaled down duplicates over each eye. Week by week they'd get bushier and longer until his eyes were completely hidden from sight. After a couple of weeks of that, he'd get a haircut and the cycle would restart.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 04-21-08 7:30 PM
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11

blah blah blah JZ Smith blah blah


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 04-21-08 7:30 PM
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You shouldn't have taken offense. Young people can have hairy eyebrows, too.


Posted by: Gaijin Biker | Link to this comment | 04-21-08 7:34 PM
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13

Lourdes is much nicer looking than Mom. I'm sure Mom had that in mind when she selected the semen donor.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 04-21-08 7:36 PM
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Wait until she offers to weave your cut eyebrow hair onto your head to cover the bald spot, and then be affronted.


Posted by: SomeCallMeTim | Link to this comment | 04-21-08 7:38 PM
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12: uh, damn. That's a lot of moustache for a 12-yr-old girl, too.


Posted by: cerebrocrat | Link to this comment | 04-21-08 7:45 PM
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Wait, ogged, when did you start paying someone else to cut your hair? Fop.


Posted by: Josh | Link to this comment | 04-21-08 7:55 PM
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bpl: not down with the Flowbee.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 04-21-08 7:55 PM
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Far be it from me to actively foster and encourage any latent tendencies toward metrosexuality on the part of any of the fine gentlemen of this blog, but I have to say that ear hair on a man is not an especially attractive feature. I'm just saying, of course.


Posted by: Mary Catherine | Link to this comment | 04-21-08 7:58 PM
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17: Maybe the good one really are already married.


Posted by: SomeCallMeTim | Link to this comment | 04-21-08 7:58 PM
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Wait, ogged, when did you start paying someone else to cut your hair?

When I tried this no-skill no-frill place a couple of blocks away and realized that I could actually spend even less time with my hair if I have them do it, rather than doing it myself. Although the previous time I had it cut there, it was so terrible that I wound up doing the 1/2 inch clipper myself anyway. But usually it's passable.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 04-21-08 8:05 PM
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ear hair on a man is not an especially attractive feature

No wizened yoga instructors for Mary Catherine. Racist.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 04-21-08 8:06 PM
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||

Jesus, Clinton's stuff on Iran was horrible. As bad as I could have imagined.

My sister, a member of AFSCME or maybe AFT, as repeating some really horseshit stuff about Obama the other day. Actually, twice in two weeks.

|>


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 04-21-08 8:06 PM
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I feel like a worse human being after having seen the link in 12. Does that guy post stuff like that regularly?


Posted by: Witt | Link to this comment | 04-21-08 8:10 PM
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That's been happening for years now.

So in hair-years, you're older than I am. Sweet.


Posted by: slolernr | Link to this comment | 04-21-08 8:15 PM
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shivbunny is going to be one of those old guys whose eyebrows reach to his hairline. He already has a couple inch-long hairs, and delights in them (or delights in how they drive me crazy.)

His facial hair is also beginning to gray.


Posted by: Cala | Link to this comment | 04-21-08 8:20 PM
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Re: the link in 12. First, they're not that bad. Secondly, her mother had a bushy eyebrow phase like that. She's half italian, so, like her mother, she's gonna be hairy. She will have no trouble being groomed and manicured though. She' is already a real beauty. /defense of Madonna's children

Whether I go to the $10 barber in Queens or the $40-for-a-men's-haircut salon my friend owns in Charlotte, they just trim my eyebrows without even asking. They are not that bushy, so I don't know why. I get compliments on nothing else but my eyebrows, which is a strange thing to compliment now that I think about it...


Posted by: stroll | Link to this comment | 04-21-08 8:23 PM
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20: When I tried this no-skill no-frill place

No wonder. Consideration for the overly developed feelings of incipient mortality of the aging patron in the chair is a "frill".


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 04-21-08 8:31 PM
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Eyebrow chief


Posted by: lw | Link to this comment | 04-21-08 8:48 PM
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scary


Posted by: read | Link to this comment | 04-21-08 8:53 PM
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she turned the clipper edgewise and stuck it in my ear. That's been happening for years now. The eyebrow question was new, although I was actually considering a post on newly unruly eyebrows even before her affront.

Holy crap, Ogged, you're my dad.

He already has a couple inch-long hairs, and delights in them (or delights in how they drive me crazy.)

No, wait, Cala's hubby is my dad.

You people are scaring me.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 04-21-08 8:58 PM
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Re. link in 12, god forbid that a young woman should fail in her duty to look the way bloggers think women should look.

She looks great. Frida Kahlo had a monobrow and a bit of a moustache, too. Guess what? A lot of women do.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 04-21-08 9:01 PM
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If you're over 30 and your hairdresser doesn't offer to trim your eyebrows (and ears if necessary) then she's cheating you. Deal with cosmetic reality, people. Women seem to find that much easier than men. Unless they're feminists, of course.


Posted by: PGD | Link to this comment | 04-21-08 9:08 PM
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Hairy Mediterranean types have more problems with this than normal people, PGD.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 04-21-08 9:11 PM
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I kinda think Lourdes is more adorable for having the downy shadow.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 04-21-08 9:13 PM
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I can't remember if it's my eyebrows or eyelashes that have drawn unexpected compliments a couple of times (probably the latter). It never occurred to me that hairdressers offer to trim eyebrows - as opposed to being asked to - but I'm still not quite 30.


Posted by: eb | Link to this comment | 04-21-08 9:13 PM
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Hairy Mediterranean types have more problems with this a lot of things than normal people, PGD.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 04-21-08 9:14 PM
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37

34: Perv.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 04-21-08 9:15 PM
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Women with downy mustaches look smirky, which is a good way for women to look, in my opinion.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 04-21-08 9:16 PM
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I can't remember if it's my eyebrows or eyelashes that have drawn unexpected compliments a couple of times

"It's so unfair! Why do men always get the long, curly, pretty eyebrows!"


Posted by: redfoxtailshrub | Link to this comment | 04-21-08 9:17 PM
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Heebie digs hairy chicks.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 04-21-08 9:17 PM
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37: I'm okay with that.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 04-21-08 9:18 PM
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My brother's eyelashes are so long that his eyes freeze shut in the Yukon. He has to cut them, but when you do that your eyelashes have sharp ands and gouge your cheeks. True story.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 04-21-08 9:18 PM
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43

That said, the WWTDD post was inappropriate. No slagging on kids' looks.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 04-21-08 9:19 PM
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You know, Heeb, Lourdes could afford you.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 04-21-08 9:19 PM
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Hairy chicks are awesome. Men with long ear and/or eyebrow hairs, however, are gross.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 04-21-08 9:20 PM
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46

44: As a math tutor?


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 04-21-08 9:20 PM
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47

I kinda dig hairy men, too. I like chest hair. I think I just like hair.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 04-21-08 9:22 PM
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My brother's eyelashes are so long that his eyes freeze shut in the Yukon.

Your brother is Sam McGee?


Posted by: eb | Link to this comment | 04-21-08 9:23 PM
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As almost anything, Heeb. Perhaps as a personal retainer.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 04-21-08 9:24 PM
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47: There are several orifices not yet named in this thread from which it is known to protrude.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 04-21-08 9:24 PM
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49: Like if she has crooked teeth? Gross. For how much?


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 04-21-08 9:26 PM
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She has almost infinite money. Name your price!


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 04-21-08 9:27 PM
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My brother's eyelashes are so long that his eyes freeze shut in the Yukon.

A likely tale! Up north, we have a word for such triflers and hapless adventurers. It starts with "T" and rhymes with "tourist," more or less.


Posted by: Mary Catherine | Link to this comment | 04-21-08 9:27 PM
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All right, who in this thread will be the first to come out in favor of nipple hair for women? Come on B, you've already taken the pro-mustache position.


Posted by: PGD | Link to this comment | 04-21-08 9:28 PM
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Infinite, eh? $20! No! Make that $25!


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 04-21-08 9:28 PM
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It starts with "T" and rhymes with "tourist," more or less.

Tourette's?


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 04-21-08 9:30 PM
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It starts with "T" and rhymes with "tourist," more or less.

"Tourist"?


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 04-21-08 9:34 PM
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MC, my brother's Yukon igloo makes your Quebec igloo look positively luxurious.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 04-21-08 9:35 PM
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"Turd-ist"?


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 04-21-08 9:37 PM
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Infinite, eh? $20! No! Make that $25!

Be careful, Heebie!


Posted by: Merganser | Link to this comment | 04-21-08 9:43 PM
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54: I have nipple hair. Which sometimes I bother to pluck, and sometimes I don't. BFD.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 04-21-08 9:45 PM
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62

Uh, whoops. Fair warning here.


Posted by: Merganser | Link to this comment | 04-21-08 9:48 PM
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63

Oddly enough, image searching for "George Pitcher" gets you no pictures of any Wittgensteinian, but these eyebrows instead.


Posted by: peter | Link to this comment | 04-21-08 9:50 PM
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64

Oh, threadjack, but over the weekend I was with the family and my Mom was showing old photos of everybody. I mentioned there was a new photo on the web that was one of my favorite of me around, so we looked at it:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/blindmaddog/2147959165/in/pool-unfogged

This led to the following dialogue:

MOM: It's a nice photo, yes. But who is that young man facing you? [Teo] He's just beautiful!

ME: Yes, he is.

MOM: It's that, the blue eyes, and the chin. A man with a strong chin always looks wonderful. If you lost some weight, you could maybe have that kind of chin again.

ME: Well, he's much younger than me.

MOM: It's not just being young. I still weigh what I did in high school.

Looks at another photo:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/blindmaddog/2147959583/in/pool-unfogged

MOM: yes, that young man is beautiful. The woman in the background is very attractive too. I think the man with the white hair is making a pass at her, yes?

ME: I don't think so, he's married.

MOM: that doesn't always really matter. Who are all these people? How do you know them?

It went downhill from there.


Posted by: PGD | Link to this comment | 04-21-08 9:51 PM
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If you lost some weight, you could maybe have that kind of chin again.

I vow never to say something like this to PK. If I ever do, please shoot me.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 04-21-08 9:53 PM
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I vow never to say something like this to to spoil PK rotten

You can't win, B. Parenting is fucking up, as Sensei w-lfs-n has taught.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 04-21-08 9:54 PM
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62: Wow, it's so funny now to see David Cross not playing Tobias.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 04-21-08 9:55 PM
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Oh, he's definitely spoiled rotten, no doubt about that.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 04-21-08 9:55 PM
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Hmph. Your mom didn't notice my distinguished appearance.

When are you going to start a family, BTW?


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 04-21-08 9:55 PM
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Your mom is in the flckr pool?


Posted by: eb | Link to this comment | 04-21-08 9:56 PM
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We would shoot you anyway, but I'm sure that you'll eventually say something like that to PK.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 04-21-08 9:56 PM
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65: It's OK, I love my Mom and would never shoot her. Everybody has their hangups, she works with mine, I work with hers. Once you're an adult the parent-child relationship only works if you can both acknowledge you're crazy. We can, so it's good.

I'm watching a shot of Obama drinking some beer in Pennsylvania, and he puckers up, sniffs it, and then sips it daintily like it's white wine. Then he makes a face. 100,000 votes lost!


Posted by: PGD | Link to this comment | 04-21-08 9:56 PM
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The picture in 63 is now my desktop background. I can't stop laughing at that guy's positive attitude. Try it for yourself!


Posted by: peter | Link to this comment | 04-21-08 9:58 PM
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71: So mean. So little faith.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 04-21-08 10:02 PM
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When are you going to start a family, BTW?

How could you possibly have known that this was discussed too!? It led to the following piece of advice from Mom:

MOM: I know you like accomplished people, but you should really be dating much younger women. The older a woman is, the more she understands that she doesn't really need men.


Posted by: PGD | Link to this comment | 04-21-08 10:03 PM
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MOM: And the less English a woman speaks, the more she can be fooled into thinking you're smart and interesting.


Posted by: peter | Link to this comment | 04-21-08 10:04 PM
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You should really be dating much younger women.

A lot of submissive 14-year-olds just got freed up out in Arizona.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 04-21-08 10:11 PM
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No wizened yoga instructors for Mary Catherine.

Christ, ogged, a personal trimmer - one of the ear and nose kind - is all of $15, maybe. Don't you spend more than that on chicken salad every morning?


Posted by: Robust McManlyPants | Link to this comment | 04-21-08 10:12 PM
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75: So your mom wants you to get married to someone who'll wise up and divorce you in ten years??


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 04-21-08 10:14 PM
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I know you like accomplished people, but you should really be dating much younger women.

Always listen to your mother. And remember my mother's advice: you should marry someone who will make your life easier.

Don't be seduced, PGD!


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 04-21-08 10:15 PM
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ten years and two kids.


Posted by: peter | Link to this comment | 04-21-08 10:16 PM
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On the original post topic: the past few times I've gotten my hair cut they trimmed my eyebrows. I thought "no way! Those long eyebrow hairs are neat!"

I was wrong.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 04-21-08 10:23 PM
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My Mom actually is pretty wise about life and I take her advice seriously. I just excerpt her best Mom-isms for comic effect.

Probably the best ever was when she tried to convince my sister-in-law, a very learned but rather literal minded physician, that short people were healthier because there was "less body area for the germs to target".

Both my Mom and my sister in law are quite short, so this was by way of bonding. But I think Mom really does believe it. It took some time for S-I-L to understand that it was really useless to engage intellectually around this issue.


Posted by: PGD | Link to this comment | 04-21-08 10:26 PM
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That said, the WWTDD post was inappropriate. No slagging on kids' looks.

Within reason. Nobody could be expected to resist this headline.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 04-21-08 10:29 PM
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remember my mother's advice: you should marry someone who will make your life easier

You should marry Ogged's mom.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 04-21-08 10:31 PM
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PGD, thanks. The ufdc crowd is a good looking bunch. Yeah, some have the advantages of youth but not all of us are so advantaged (I sure am not). I figure Teo will be breaking hearts for years to come—even after his eyebrows get bushy.


Posted by: md 20/400 | Link to this comment | 04-21-08 10:35 PM
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My brother's eyelashes are so long that his eyes freeze shut in the Yukon.

Hell, that's happened to me in New Hampshire.

Now my bushy old man eyebrows are starting to get tangled in my eyelashes, which drove me to apply the beard trimmer. Also - tweezers on eyebrow hairs, OUCH!


Posted by: spaz | Link to this comment | 04-22-08 6:59 AM
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#64. If your hair were longer, PGD, and your affect a little crazier, you'd look just like an old friend of mine. Sadly, his strong-chinned days are past, too. That's a good picture of Parsimon, too, though your Mom gets it wrong. Obviously, she's the one making a pass at the white-haired man.

The picture of Lourdes makes me feel old, suddenly. I thought she was still a small child. It sounds weird to say "She looks a lot like her mother when she was young," but she does.


Posted by: Populuxe | Link to this comment | 04-22-08 7:13 AM
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You should consider yourself lucky she offered to trim. If you were a woman she'd offer to rip it out by the roots.


Posted by: Shamhat | Link to this comment | 04-22-08 7:35 AM
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Sadly, his strong-chinned days are past, too.

My strong-chinned days are not past, damnit. I'll go to the gym more or something. I'm still fighting. I'll never look as good as Teo, but then I never did.


Posted by: PGD | Link to this comment | 04-22-08 7:56 AM
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This is why we grow beards, people. Look at Apo--he knows what I'm talking about.

Eyebrow hair--trimmed at salon. Ear hair--plucked or trimmed when I notice 'em. Nose hair that gets tangled with the moustache before I notice it: really fucking irritating.


Posted by: Chopper | Link to this comment | 04-22-08 9:55 AM
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It's a little masochistic to enjoy the ripping out by the roots, I suppose.


Posted by: Di Kotimy | Link to this comment | 04-22-08 10:34 AM
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PGD, there's a sort of snood you can wear on your chin to firm it up.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 04-22-08 11:00 AM
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Look at Apo--he knows what I'm talking about.

Or, at least, I used to.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 04-22-08 11:04 AM
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You shaved???


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 04-22-08 11:17 AM
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[whine] I'm not allowed to see PGD's pics. And I really want to see what Teo looks like, what with all the fuss. [/whine]

If you're a woman who has been plucking eyebrows for years, you actually have the opposite problem as you age. The eyebrows slowly disappear, until you're drawing them on with charcoal pencils and mascara. A little trim is nothing to complain about.


Posted by: wrenae | Link to this comment | 04-22-08 11:20 AM
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Did you miss the conversation where I said I'd shaved off the beard for the first time in 5 years and was horrified to discover I'd developed a wattle in the interim?


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 04-22-08 11:22 AM
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96.1: an increasingly dated photo


Posted by: Auto-banned | Link to this comment | 04-22-08 11:23 AM
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98: more specific link


Posted by: Auto-banned | Link to this comment | 04-22-08 11:25 AM
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and was horrified to discover I'd developed a wattle

Just be happy you still have your coxcomb.


Posted by: wrenae | Link to this comment | 04-22-08 11:26 AM
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Did you miss the conversation

I guess so. Sorry about the wattle, man.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 04-22-08 11:29 AM
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Mr. Kim always trims my eyebrows, runs the clippers round inside my ear and my nostrils, shaves the spot above the nose between the eyebrows and shaves my earlobes. He also shaves the top of my head where only a few lonely crooked wisps of hair dare grow.

These are services one takes for granted.


Posted by: jim | Link to this comment | 04-22-08 1:24 PM
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[whine] I'm not allowed to see PGD's pics.

Petition Ogged to join the Flickr photo group. A few sexual favors and a couple of thousand bucks later, you'll be able to see everybody's photos!


Posted by: PGD | Link to this comment | 04-22-08 2:22 PM
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A wattle. Man, apo, my condolences.

(And envy. When my chin and neck start to go, I won't be able to do anything about it.)


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 04-22-08 2:27 PM
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It's really more of a double chin than a wattle. But I like the way the word "wattle" sounds, so I'm sticking with it.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 04-22-08 2:29 PM
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But a wattle is a totally different thing, you know. Just wait. You'll be punished with a *real* wattle for misrepresenting yourself.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 04-22-08 2:33 PM
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107

Also check yer email.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 04-22-08 2:33 PM
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the eyebrows slowly disappear, until you're drawing them on with charcoal pencils and mascara.

FYI. thinning eyebrows can also be symptomatic of thyroid deficiencies, from what I'm told, and women are more prone to such deficiencies than men. (Not a doctor, just play one on the internet... )


Posted by: Di Kotimy | Link to this comment | 04-22-08 2:44 PM
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When my chin and neck start to go, I won't be able to do anything about it.

Eh, yeah there is. That little lift for just the neck skin is a pretty easy and very subtle surgery, as far as they go. My mother is pretty against unnecessary surgery, but her everlasting hatred of the turkey neck suffered by her older relatives won out in the end and she got just a little lift done. Looks good (in the you-really-could-never-tell sort of way), and there really wasn't much recovery time.


Posted by: Po-Mo Polymath | Link to this comment | 04-22-08 2:47 PM
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Quote from this brilliant little novel I'm reading, "A Single Man", by Christopher Isherwood:

"The neck...the neck he had abandoned altogether, like an untenable military position"


Posted by: PGD | Link to this comment | 04-22-08 3:04 PM
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thinning eyebrows can also be symptomatic of thyroid deficiencies, from what I'm told, and women are more prone to such deficiencies than men

Thanks, I didn't know that. But I'm not describing myself here, just some older acquaintances. I'm still plucking like a one-armed chicken farmer.


Posted by: wrenae | Link to this comment | 04-22-08 3:12 PM
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Also check yer email.

I don't see any email from you.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 04-22-08 3:17 PM
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