Re: I'm Even Starting To Hate Chelsea

1

It won't stick. WJC is the guy who always tries to seduce your wife behind your back and whom you will keep forgiving until she actually responds in kind to him. We all know guys like that; WJC is just the political version.


Posted by: SomeCallMeTim | Link to this comment | 04-23-08 9:31 AM
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We all know guys like that

Know and hate.


Posted by: Di Kotimy | Link to this comment | 04-23-08 9:35 AM
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the guy who always tries to seduce your wife behind your back and whom you will keep forgiving

The hell we will.


Posted by: My Alter Ego | Link to this comment | 04-23-08 9:38 AM
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I don't believe you actually hate w-lfs-n, Di.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 04-23-08 9:38 AM
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Ogged, I implore you to resist the temptation to hate Chelsea. Do you really want to sound like John Derbyshire?


Posted by: Mary Catherine | Link to this comment | 04-23-08 9:43 AM
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Know and hate.

Not me. I can't help but like that guy, because he once kicked the ass of another dude I really hate in a brawl down at the bar--though he inexplicably helped the dude up and shook hands with him afterwards.


Posted by: Knecht Ruprecht | Link to this comment | 04-23-08 9:43 AM
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Is he making the "dick in the mouth" face?


Posted by: SP | Link to this comment | 04-23-08 9:54 AM
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I don't hate Chelsea, but I am finding the "campaigns for her mother" / "she is a private person; how dare the press speak to her" dichotomy increasing precious and unstable.


Posted by: oudemia | Link to this comment | 04-23-08 9:56 AM
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I've gotten away with, in retrospect, a lot of stuff in my life, but the Slickster is just embarrassingly shameless.


Posted by: Flippanter | Link to this comment | 04-23-08 9:58 AM
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Do you really want to sound like John Derbyshire?

I don't think this really works as a rhetorical question.


Posted by: politicalfootball | Link to this comment | 04-23-08 9:58 AM
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11

REQUEST FOR URGENT BUSINESS RELATIONSHIP

I GOT YOUR CONTACT FROM A CONFIDENTIAL SOURCE THAT INFORMED ME YOU HAVE THE CAPABILITY OF TRANSACTING A BUSINESS OF THIS GREAT MAGNITUDE.

I wish to introduce myself to you. I am SENATOR HILLARY CLINTON, wife to former deposed president BILL CLINTON of the United States, who has been overthrown by tyrant GEORGE BUSH on 21 January 2001 who has ruled America with an iron fist.

Shortly before the present government consolidated power and banished my husband from his rightful throne, the leaders of my political party entrusted to me the care of the legacy of Democracy and with the sacred charge of inheriting the leadership of the country so that we may once again bring peace to the land.

Violent rebels funded by the current government, and led by the notorious BARACK OBAMA are conspiring to maintain the grip of the current government on power for many years to come.

I WRITE URGENTLY WITH A BUSINESS PROPOSITION.

For many years we have faithfully guarded the federal treasury which has annual receipts in the amount of US$2500000000000 but cannot access those funds until we are returned to the presidential palace. I need your assistance in regaining access to these accounts and in defeating the rebels who are tools of the current government. We ask for an investment of US$2600 for which we will be most grateful and will repay your debt through increased government services and military glory against many Middle Eastern country.

YOUR INVESTMENT IS VITAL TO OUR SUCCESS. Many of our secret allies are planning to stage victory but are afraid of the rebel forces who have many spies in all cities and universities. But if enough people invest against the rebel forces OUR SECRET ALLIES WILL DECLARE US TO WIN.

PLEASE INDICATE YOUR WILLINGNESS TO ASSIST ME BY SENDING TO ME THE FOLLOWING AS THE BENEFICIARY INFORMATION; BENEFICIARY'S NAME, ADDRESS AND YOUR PRIVATE PHONE AND FAX NUMBERS SO THAT I CAN CONTACT YOU AND COMMENCE THE TRANSACTION IN EARNEST. I AM WAITING TO HEAR FROM YOU VERY SOON.

BEST REGARDS.

SEN. HILLARY CLINTON


Posted by: Joe Drymala | Link to this comment | 04-23-08 9:59 AM
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9: In a country where George W. Bush was elected in 2004, I just don't understand how anyone can talk about Bill Clinton as someone who "got away with" anything particularly important.



Posted by: politicalfootball | Link to this comment | 04-23-08 10:07 AM
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Is he making the "dick in the mouth" face?

I will admit to having thought the exact same thing.


Posted by: | Link to this comment | 04-23-08 10:11 AM
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That was me admitting that.


Posted by: Blume | Link to this comment | 04-23-08 10:12 AM
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Aw, c'mon. It's mostly just bad photos and downright malevolent coverage by the press. They've been pushing the renegade Bill storyline for months. It's got star power! It's gossipy! It contains implicit sexism directed at Hillary! It's got it all!

And, speaking of sexism, Chelsea still seems awfully foxy and therefore above reproach.


Posted by: Tom | Link to this comment | 04-23-08 10:15 AM
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I'm even starting to hate their little dog Buddy.


Posted by: Populuxe | Link to this comment | 04-23-08 10:16 AM
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16: So it was you who ran him over with your car several years ago?


Posted by: oudemia | Link to this comment | 04-23-08 10:17 AM
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I implore you to resist the temptation to hate Chelsea

The reason I hate her has nothing to do with her campaigning for her mother. It's that she went to work for a hedge fund. Way to implement those Democratic values, Chels.

11 is excellent.


Posted by: Sir Kraab | Link to this comment | 04-23-08 10:17 AM
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I will admit to having thought the exact same thing.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 04-23-08 10:19 AM
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It's that she went to work for a hedge fund. Way to implement those Democratic values, Chels.

Look, the girl needs money. Let somebody who doesn't have to support their whole family a lavish urban lifestyle possibly a small country, at that kind of income work someplace socially responsible.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 04-23-08 10:20 AM
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19: That's where that went.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 04-23-08 10:21 AM
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I thought she was in consulting.


Posted by: eb | Link to this comment | 04-23-08 10:21 AM
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19: I'd like to think that if I were going to trade on my parents' good name, I would have done something altruistic. I'd also like to think that if I were not going to trade on my parents' name, I'd do something so different that there'd be no way of believing my parents were in on it. (Medicine, engineering, acting?)

That being said, money's green and the hedge funds/consulting are teh hawt right now.


Posted by: Klug | Link to this comment | 04-23-08 10:22 AM
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#17. I don't even own a car!


Posted by: Populuxe | Link to this comment | 04-23-08 10:22 AM
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24: You ran over Buddy on foot?


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 04-23-08 10:23 AM
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It's that she went to work for a hedge fund.

Which isn't a bad thing in the first place!

Though I'll admit that I don't really get what this post meant to say. They looked like pretty normal pictures to me.

11 is pitch-perfect, I love it.


Posted by: Po-Mo Polymath | Link to this comment | 04-23-08 10:23 AM
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22: She was, but switched to hedging a couple of years ago. The consulting was, as I understand it, about managing corporations.


Posted by: Sir Kraab | Link to this comment | 04-23-08 10:24 AM
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Chelsea used to work for McKinsey, but then Marc Lasry -- one of her parents' biggest bankrollers, but also a donor to folks like GWB and Lieberman -- hired her to work for his hedge fund, Avenue Capital. He's one of the guys who wrote the extortion letter to Pelosi.


Posted by: oudemia | Link to this comment | 04-23-08 10:24 AM
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To be fair, every single person in America went to work for a hedge fund. Except me. So lunch is on you, dude.


Posted by: Walt Someguy | Link to this comment | 04-23-08 10:24 AM
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And, speaking of sexism, Chelsea still seems awfully foxy and therefore above reproach.

For this, I can overlook your slurpee apostasy. I thought I was the only one.


Posted by: SomeCallMeTim | Link to this comment | 04-23-08 10:26 AM
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25: he can't admit to that, heebie. Stomp videos are illegal.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 04-23-08 10:27 AM
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What could be more American than sending your children out to the fields/factories to help support you?


Posted by: Will | Link to this comment | 04-23-08 10:27 AM
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30: she is looking pretty good.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 04-23-08 10:30 AM
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26: I don't think working in finance makes one by definition soulless. But I am disappointed that when she could do almost any damn thing she wants, she chose very management oriented, all-about-making-money sort of work instead of something, including finance, oriented toward social justice.


Posted by: Sir Kraab | Link to this comment | 04-23-08 10:32 AM
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#25. You'll never pin that on me.

You all realize, of course, that sooner or later someone will demand that Obama denounce this entire thread.


Posted by: Populuxe | Link to this comment | 04-23-08 10:33 AM
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sooner or later someone will demand that Obama denounce this entire thread

Only if DS comments in it.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 04-23-08 10:36 AM
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But will he reject it?


Posted by: eb | Link to this comment | 04-23-08 10:39 AM
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If you think about it, there's a powerful argument for Obama that's waiting to be made. If Obama is elected President, he will remain our go-to guy for ethnic denunciation and rejection, forever.


Posted by: Walt Someguy | Link to this comment | 04-23-08 10:40 AM
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Is there any evidence she ever traded on her name professionally? I suspect she's a highly intelligent, if deeply misguided, woman, who is perfectly capable of getting all those overpaid, ethically questionable jobs entirely on her own merit. The link at 33 reminds us that in 2038 she will look exactly like her mother does now, but that's not her fault either.


Posted by: OneFatEnglishman | Link to this comment | 04-23-08 10:42 AM
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Certainly those photos are gag-worthy, but I can't help but refer to the sorts of things my mom said on the phone recently in favor of Hillary Clinton and against Obama. That she doesn't trust Obama's "background, his Muslim upbringing." Hm. That he seems a poser, a snake oil salesman; she does not like his affect, essentially, at all. "It's just a feeling." She does trust Hillary's good work in the past. Hm.

Her response to the nominees' public faces is almost entirely the reverse of mine and of many people here. How does one respect the elders in a situation like this? Our society moves so fast.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 04-23-08 10:42 AM
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I'm Even Starting To Hate Chelsea

Let you inner John McCain come out ogged, I'm sure the press will cover for you.

McCain's Chelsea joke from 1998. WaPo did not because it was "was too vicious to print", plus it was in front of fundraisers and we all know that does not count ... IYAAR.

"Why is Chelsea Clinton so ugly? Because her father is Janet Reno."

Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 04-23-08 10:43 AM
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I don't believe you actually hate w-lfs-n, Di.

Only because, to the best of my knowledge, w-lfs-n has never attempted to seduce my wife.


Posted by: | Link to this comment | 04-23-08 10:43 AM
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The commenter who dares not speak her name.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 04-23-08 10:47 AM
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39: You have been Yothersrolled!


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 04-23-08 10:48 AM
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33: That isn't really Chelsea, is it?


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 04-23-08 10:48 AM
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I've been trying to be surreptitious, but you probably are all onto me anyway...


Posted by: Di Kotimy | Link to this comment | 04-23-08 10:49 AM
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41: The terms "poser" and "snake-oil salesman" also figure heavily in the "he's a muslim!" emails. Google either + Obama and one finds 60,000+ hits. So it seems those sorts of emails are having a significant impact on some folks' take on his appearance and affect.


Posted by: oudemia | Link to this comment | 04-23-08 10:50 AM
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perfectly capable of getting all those overpaid, ethically questionable jobs entirely on her own merit

She got the hedge fund job without an MBA, which very likely had to do with her name. But she's clearly smart, so I don't have any real problem with that versus, say, legacy Yale-ites who are dumb as rocks.


Posted by: Sir Kraab | Link to this comment | 04-23-08 10:50 AM
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So it seems those sorts of emails are having a significant impact on some folks' take on his appearance and affect.

Right. I think apo and I were saying a couple of months ago that the underground "he's a muslim" campaign is huge and effective.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 04-23-08 10:52 AM
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44: Yothers is only 34? I must not be remembering Family Ties accurately, because I thought all of the people on the show were older than me by more than a few years.


Posted by: eb | Link to this comment | 04-23-08 10:53 AM
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I gotta say, Bill Clinton in the Bobby "The Brain" Heenan role was pretty inspired.


Posted by: baa | Link to this comment | 04-23-08 10:53 AM
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Is there any evidence she ever traded on her name professionally?

What would this mean? If Jesus comes down again, goes to Harvard, and is the smartest most amazing student they've ever had, he's still getting hired because he's the Son of God.


Posted by: SomeCallMeTim | Link to this comment | 04-23-08 10:59 AM
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She got the hedge fund job without an MBA

It's not the lack of an MBA. It's the lack of technical chops. Do hedge funds really hire MBAs? If so, I'd love to know which ones so I could short their entire portfolio. On Chelsea, one person's influence peddler is another man's "rainmaker." This is standard operating procedure, and nothing to be ashamed of (from the hedge fund side, at least).


Posted by: baa | Link to this comment | 04-23-08 11:01 AM
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If Jesus comes down again, goes to Harvard

Fucking legacy students.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 04-23-08 11:02 AM
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When I was younger, I used to get accused of looking like Chelsea pretty often. It's nice to know that I too will be pretty if I get some good plastic surgery!


Posted by: redfoxtailshrub | Link to this comment | 04-23-08 11:04 AM
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If the answer to 17 were yes your father would have sold Soap Opera Digest to Murdoch at a $50,000,000 profit.


Posted by: washerdreyer | Link to this comment | 04-23-08 11:08 AM
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If Jesus comes down again, goes to Harvard

They never should have abolished the Jewish quota.


Posted by: zadfrack | Link to this comment | 04-23-08 11:14 AM
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Do hedge funds really hire MBAs?

Not that it's particularly relevant to this thread, but yes. They are picky about the programs and the people, though.


Posted by: Po-Mo Polymath | Link to this comment | 04-23-08 11:14 AM
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18

"The reason I hate her has nothing to do with her campaigning for her mother. It's that she went to work for a hedge fund. Way to implement those Democratic values, Chels."

Hedge funds are part of the Democratic base, just ask Schumer.


Posted by: James B. Shearer | Link to this comment | 04-23-08 11:19 AM
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55: Is that a joke or are there rumors that I'm not aware of?


Posted by: Klug | Link to this comment | 04-23-08 11:20 AM
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Not at all a joke. It's quite evident that she's had work done.


Posted by: redfoxtailshrub | Link to this comment | 04-23-08 11:22 AM
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I'm not aware of my mom having gotten "Obama's a muslim!" emails. The notion was, as we know, floated in the press some time ago, and took. The problem is really that people would think it would be such a huge problem. Intolerance, willful misunderstanding, and hatred are popular these days, I notice.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 04-23-08 11:22 AM
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60: General consensus is rhinoplasty, chin implant, and whatever the surgery is called to get rid of a super gummy smile. You can find before and after pics with plastic surgeon commentary at various places on the web.


Posted by: oudemia | Link to this comment | 04-23-08 11:22 AM
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60: Here ya go.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 04-23-08 11:23 AM
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64: Holy cow. I did think she looked different, but I chalked it up to flowering in your 20s and a different haircut. Fascinating.


Posted by: Klug | Link to this comment | 04-23-08 11:26 AM
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How do you straighten hair that dramatically?


Posted by: asl | Link to this comment | 04-23-08 11:29 AM
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Is it just her nose? Her jaw and eyes look different, but I don't really know what you can do for those, so maybe it's just the harmony with the new nose.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 04-23-08 11:29 AM
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How do you straighten hair that dramatically?

Blow drier, flat iron, "thermal reconditioning" (aka new-generation chemical straighteners).


Posted by: redfoxtailshrub | Link to this comment | 04-23-08 11:31 AM
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And she also covers up the freckles. I miss those, and the curly hair. Fly your freak flag, Chelsea!

(Not that her appearance is really any of my damn business.)


Posted by: Sir Kraab | Link to this comment | 04-23-08 11:31 AM
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How dare you, ogged. Barack Obama played the race card on Bill by making him say racist shit about Obama! And Bill doesn't have to take that shit from you or anyone - not after everything he's done for black people, like getting rid of welfare and raising mandatory minimum sentences for crack and executing retarded black people! You all should be ashamed.


Posted by: strasmangelo jones | Link to this comment | 04-23-08 11:32 AM
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He only executed ONE retarded black person, strasmangelo.

Unless you think he made it more likely that they will be executed in the future.


Posted by: Ardent reader | Link to this comment | 04-23-08 11:33 AM
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67: The most dramatic thing to me is the new chin. That's a pretty common surgery. I think she looks great now.


Posted by: oudemia | Link to this comment | 04-23-08 11:34 AM
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72: She looked nice before and after. Now she looks more fit to be photographed in magazines.


Posted by: Ardent reader | Link to this comment | 04-23-08 11:35 AM
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The existence of plastic surgery is one of those things that sends me into a tizzy if I think about it too much, like I'm doing now from browsing that website in 64.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 04-23-08 11:37 AM
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Learning about Chelsea getting plastic surgery and working for a hedge fund made think for a moment. That maybe the Clintons don't actually care about the poor very much. Which is silly because they fixed welfare. That they support NAFTA. Silly because they've always been against it. That she's for the war. Silly because it's obvious that she voted for inspections, not war.


Posted by: asl | Link to this comment | 04-23-08 11:37 AM
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She got the hedge fund job without an MBA

My college roommate got hired to be a hedgie with just a BA. Then again it was an econ BA, and Chelsea majored in history. A McKinsey job with a history degree is certainly no cause for surprise.


Posted by: Otto von Bisquick | Link to this comment | 04-23-08 11:37 AM
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Unless you think he made it more likely that they will be executed in the future.

Actually, he made it more likely for anyone to get executed in the future.


Posted by: strasmangelo jones | Link to this comment | 04-23-08 11:38 AM
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I can't believe I'm becoming an "ever since Super Tuesday, I'm outraged by welfare reform" person, but I am.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 04-23-08 11:39 AM
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78: What do you mean?


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 04-23-08 11:41 AM
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Welfare reform was pretty crappy, but then there's this.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 04-23-08 11:42 AM
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People still respect their elders? Where? Why?


Posted by: Flippanter | Link to this comment | 04-23-08 11:42 AM
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I can't believe I'm becoming an "ever since Super Tuesday, I'm outraged by welfare reform" person, but I am.

Such a great description. I tried to go there--I want to go there--but I can't.


Posted by: SomeCallMeTim | Link to this comment | 04-23-08 11:42 AM
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Part of me would like to read a tabloid story (with pictures, natch) of a Nazi sex orgy with Chelsea, Lauren and George P. Bush so that we could be done with both families politically forever. kthxbai


Posted by: Klug | Link to this comment | 04-23-08 11:43 AM
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Crap, I forgot about the Bush twins. Them too.


Posted by: Klug | Link to this comment | 04-23-08 11:44 AM
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54: Fucking legacy students.

You people must not be Catholic. Jesus, being both the son of God and God, is both a Harvard alumnus and a legacy applicant.


Posted by: Otto von Bisquick | Link to this comment | 04-23-08 11:46 AM
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On Chelsea, one person's influence peddler is another man's "rainmaker."

Distinction without a difference, no? Or at least, all influence peddlers are rainmakers.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 04-23-08 11:50 AM
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Repeating 79: what does 78 mean? Welfare reform was bad at the time. What does Super Tuesday have to do with it?


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 04-23-08 11:50 AM
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Distinction without a difference, no?

I think that's the point.

Repeating 79: what does 78 mean?

It means, I believe, that ogged was fine with welfare reform--however bad it was--until this HRC's campaign started being a pain in the tuchas.


Posted by: SomeCallMeTim | Link to this comment | 04-23-08 11:53 AM
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87: I took Ogged to mean that he didn't think much about welfare reform at the time, but now that he no longer likes Bill Clinton it seems kind of shitty to cut lots of poor people off from money they need and then tell them it's for their own good.


Posted by: strasmangelo jones | Link to this comment | 04-23-08 11:54 AM
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87: search here for "Chappaquidick"


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 04-23-08 11:54 AM
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88, 89. Oh. I was afraid that's what it meant.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 04-23-08 11:58 AM
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I hereby rule that 89 is not pwned by 88 because stras's bitterness (which I share) adds so much.


Posted by: Sir Kraab | Link to this comment | 04-23-08 11:59 AM
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86: Yes. I almost hate to admit it, because I do not doubt at all that Chelsea is super smart and capable, but when a uber-big-money donor, who has made it clear he's interesting in purchasing and throwing around as much influence as possible, hires the daughter of a former president and sitting senator from NY, it's hard for me not to think of it as a way for Lasry to transfer large sums of cash to the Clinton family. (No, I don't think Chelsea hands Bill&Hill a cut or anything.)


Posted by: oudemia | Link to this comment | 04-23-08 12:00 PM
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I think apo and I were saying a couple of months ago that the underground "he's a muslim" campaign is huge and effective.

My father, whom I described here a few months ago as being frantically in love with Obama, has finally been swayed by the massive deluge of emails he receives from distant cousins taking quotes out of context to "prove" that Obama is secretly Muslim. My attempt to walk him through the fun-house of "if he's a Muslim then it doesn't matter that he has a crazy Christian preacher and if he listens to his crazy Christian preacher then he by definition isn't a Muslim, right, so can you please just pick your stupid reason for backing down from voting for the black guy and stick to it" was a tremendous failure and I find this unbelievably embarrassing to admit.


Posted by: R.McMP | Link to this comment | 04-23-08 12:03 PM
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and I find this unbelievably embarrassing to admit.

You really shouldn't.


Posted by: SomeCallMeTim | Link to this comment | 04-23-08 12:05 PM
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If Jesus comes down again, goes to Harvard, and is the smartest most amazing student they've ever had, he's still getting hired because he's the Son of God.

It is important to understand that there is no contradiction between being an equal opportunity employer and having high standards. No one gets a job here because of his or her divinity. We have active programs to increase the diversity of our applicant pool, which includes targeted outreach to the Divine-American community. We encourage gods, godesses, and demigods to explore career opportunities here because we know that a diverse workforce is an asset to our company. In the final analysis, a candidate's divinity only becomes a factor when deciding among a pool of comparably qualified applicants. Mr. Christ, like all of our employees, was chosen holy--er-- I mean wholly on his merits.


Posted by: The HR Department | Link to this comment | 04-23-08 12:10 PM
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Typical HR department idiots can't spell "goddesses" and don't know that "Christ" is his title, not his name.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 04-23-08 12:12 PM
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But "H" is still his middle initial, right?


Posted by: oudemia | Link to this comment | 04-23-08 12:14 PM
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Picture #2 = Cher


Posted by: cerebrocrat | Link to this comment | 04-23-08 12:16 PM
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"Christ" is his title, not his name.

You know less about my brother than you think.


Posted by: Jimmy Christ | Link to this comment | 04-23-08 12:20 PM
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94: I think I convinced my mother not to boycott the general election (despite her strong distrust of Obama) sheerly in order to keep McCain out of office. That only works because she's (a) anti-war and pro-social services; and (b) pro-choice, though she personally is against abortion. In other words, she's still a democrat. I had to remind her about the Supreme Court.

But yeah, it was a long slog on the phone, picking carefully through each of her misunderstandings, remaining calm, hearing her tone change in turns from listening to me to guarded suspicion of my explanations and back again. It's clear that whatever media she partakes of has done a job on her.

No shame in having (so far?) failed to convince, RMcMP. I hear that accusing people of racism doesn't work very well, though.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 04-23-08 12:22 PM
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Not related to Chelsea-bashing -nor, for that matter, Clinton bashing in general- but maybe someone can help out.

I was just having a heated argument on whether presidential candidates should release their medical records and other rather private information. I think they should -they are *public* figures after all-, but I don´t know if they are legally required to do so in the States. Are they? And should they be, ya think?


Posted by: Melvin | Link to this comment | 04-23-08 12:23 PM
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100: isn't "Jimmy Christ" Christian slang for a condom?


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 04-23-08 12:24 PM
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97: Mr. w-lfs-n, this memo is to inform you that you are to be enrolled in the company's mandatory sensitivity training seminar. Please report to Ms. Goodvibes in the training center tomorrow at 7:00am for this all-day training session. We will be using the "It Takes all Kinds" curriculum specially developed for the company. Failure to attend the seminar, or failure to complete the seminar with a passing grade, is grounds for disciplinary action up to and including dismissal for cause.


Posted by: The HR department | Link to this comment | 04-23-08 12:30 PM
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A candidate's medical condition is a reasonable factor for a voter to take into account, and they're certainly free to draw a negative inference about that medical condition if they haven't made their records available, and opposing candidates should feel free to bring this up, but I don't know why you'd want a legal duty to release records.


Posted by: washerdreyer | Link to this comment | 04-23-08 12:32 PM
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I kind of like how Chelsea keeps saying straightforwardly that Hillary would be a better president than Bill. I don't necessarily believe that, but I do think Chelsea is being entirely sincere.


Posted by: Katherine | Link to this comment | 04-23-08 12:33 PM
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No shame in having (so far?) failed to convince, RMcMP. I hear that accusing people of racism doesn't work very well, though.

I've got a long row ahead of me but encouragement is welcome. I didn't actually accuse him of racism (though I did say, "don't turn ignorant on me!" and he laughed) and in fairness he is the more philosophical of my parents and so he can be turned around in time and with much effort. I'm a little hampered by having grown up in a house in which it was considered almost offensively evangelistic to state openly how one voted or planned to vote, lest one shame anyone who disagreed, and in which the mention of politics in front of others was almost always preceded by an apology despite everyone being, at farthest right, centrist Democrats. I think they've just been so flooded with the Sekrit Mohammedan stuff that it's drowned out his better angels. I'm hoping it's only temporary.


Posted by: Robust McManlyPants | Link to this comment | 04-23-08 12:36 PM
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85: So many heresies floating around these threads.... What are they teaching in our public schools?!


Posted by: Zippy the Comment Frog | Link to this comment | 04-23-08 12:38 PM
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Please report to Ms. Goodvibes in the training center tomorrow at 7:00am for this all-day trainingpegging session

Fuckin' hr, man.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 04-23-08 12:38 PM
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guarded suspicion of my explanations and back again.

Also, yes, this. Like, I was not ready for that. I was not ready for someone to so transparently apply the Part Of the IslamoApologists filter to what I said. I was forced to wonder if those were the same shields that go up around me when I see someone I dislike on TV. I suspect the answer is yes.


Posted by: Robust McManlyPants | Link to this comment | 04-23-08 12:39 PM
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110: I think my parents, though leaning toward HRC, are still within reach. My mother in particular I think I have shamed with the thought that she would be voting alongside those who oppose Obama for ignoble reasons. My father I'm not sure about. I think he favors HRC because of Bill, i.e. she's a Clinton and therefore knows how to beat Republicans. But he might be open to persuasion with the argument about down-ballot races and targeting a 60-seat majority in the Senate. They are safe votes in November, though: either one of them would sooner drink goat piss than vote for McCain.


Posted by: Knecht Ruprecht | Link to this comment | 04-23-08 12:55 PM
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My parents do simply despise the Republican party at the moment. My father has voted cross-ballot, I think, but my mother I think blocks out conscious knowledge of the existence of Republicans. Both of them hate Bush and are ardently anti-war so I can't see them going McCain no matter how many emails they get about secret Muslims.


Posted by: Robust McManlyPants | Link to this comment | 04-23-08 1:01 PM
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My parents do simply despise the Republican party at the moment.

I wish I had a better sense of how wide and deep this sentiment is. My father-in-law was a reliable Republican for his entire life, but switched in 2000 because he just couldn't stand Bush. I'm pretty sure the past 8 years have cemented him pulling the D lever for the rest of his life.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 04-23-08 1:05 PM
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113- Reminds me of the Chris Rock joke that Bush is so bad, he's made white people not want to vote for a white man.


Posted by: asl | Link to this comment | 04-23-08 1:09 PM
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. I'm pretty sure the past 8 years have cemented him pulling the D lever for the rest of his life.

I suspect that it depends what the Democrat he gets next does.


Posted by: SomeCallMeTim | Link to this comment | 04-23-08 1:13 PM
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113: My dad's the same. But he's not typical; he's a high information voter who would never believe anything like the Sekrit Muslim rumors and is very pragmatic when it comes down to pulling the lever. ("Pushing the button" or "filling in the little circles" just don't have the same ring, do they?)


Posted by: Sir Kraab | Link to this comment | 04-23-08 1:13 PM
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Right, my mom would die before voting Republican: the task is to convince her to vote for Obama, against Republicans. WHAT is WITH the hatred of muslims? (she asks)

I was not ready for someone to so transparently apply the Part Of the IslamoApologists filter to what I said. I was forced to wonder if those were the same shields that go up around me when I see someone I dislike on TV. I suspect the answer is yes.

Interesting. True, I wasn't expecting the odd suspicion I got from my mom, though I think it was due more to her general suspicion of any and all accounts of political matters that she hears. Which, okay; and so I did explain further. We can and should learn from this.

As for shields going up, a good point.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 04-23-08 1:14 PM
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"Poking the screen," though...


Posted by: Eggplant | Link to this comment | 04-23-08 1:15 PM
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WHAT is WITH the hatred of muslims?

Well see, we used to have a perfectly good boogeyman in the Japanese, but then those sneaky bastards up and switched sides. So we traded them in for the Soviets, and all was right with the world again except, after a while, the Soviets got all boring and staid, so we auditioned the Vietnamese as their replacement. Unfortunately, the Vietnamese proved to be a little too effective of an enemy, so back to the Russians.

But then came Gorbachev, who clearly wasn't interested in nuking us. What to do, what to do? Hey, drug users, that's the ticket! However, once the country realized that pretty much every family in the US had at least one person in that camp, well, not so good at keeping the troops rallied. And then those sneaky Soviet bastards took away our safe fallback by dissolving the Evil Empire™.

We flirted with Mexicans for a bit, but who's threatened by friendly guys with leaf blowers and rosaries? So really, it was Muslims by default.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 04-23-08 1:32 PM
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So really, it was Muslims by default.

Not so, my friend. The Chinese kept the score close through the first three quarters of the title game, on the strength of their trade surplus the Hainan Island incident, but the Muslims broke away in the fourth quarter and have held the title ever since.


Posted by: KR | Link to this comment | 04-23-08 1:38 PM
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The Chinese kept the score close

Yeah, but we couldn't really pick the Chinese, since we'd be left with with no electronics or Happy Meal toys.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 04-23-08 1:44 PM
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119- Ah, but aren't the Muslims actually polling better than atheists?


Posted by: asl | Link to this comment | 04-23-08 1:48 PM
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Apo, don't forget that the Chinese auditioned for the part, but were blown away by the Muslim's show stopper. I wouldn't rule out the Chinese for the long haul, especially now that they have figured out the check is no good.
http://www.rgemonitor.com/setser-monitor/252511/ut-oh-is-china-starting-to-blame-the-us-for-its-currency-losses/


Posted by: Tassled Loafered Leech | Link to this comment | 04-23-08 1:48 PM
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122: Similarly, the Dept of Motor Vehicles is polling ahead of the IRS, and car jackers are edging out child molestors.


Posted by: KR | Link to this comment | 04-23-08 1:49 PM
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The atheists are the Enemy Whitin, asl. They have been allied with ALL of our external enemies over the years, and the Satan&Allah&Secularism vs. Jesus battle is only the latest of their alliances.


Posted by: Fatman | Link to this comment | 04-23-08 1:50 PM
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What? The Enemy Mark Whiten? I mean Within.


Posted by: Fatman | Link to this comment | 04-23-08 1:50 PM
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Don't distract me with talk of the atheists. I know they are the final enemy.

Apo's account in 119 is appreciated for its brevity. My question is: are we really a nation of children? No, actually my question is: are we really a nation defining itself in terms of enemies racially and spatially defined?

I don't know why I keep fighting it.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 04-23-08 2:09 PM
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122: Yes, but we atheists are still polling better than the Scientologists!


Posted by: zadfrack | Link to this comment | 04-23-08 2:09 PM
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are we really a nation defining itself in terms of enemies racially and spatially defined?

We always have been.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 04-23-08 2:12 PM
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119: The Russians are back! Haven't you heard? McCain wants them out of the G-8 and is calling them revanchists (which might have some truth to it). On the other hand, this doesn't seem to have attracted much attention.


Posted by: eb | Link to this comment | 04-23-08 2:19 PM
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are we really a nation of children?

Hippie talk.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 04-23-08 2:24 PM
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124
122: Similarly, the Dept of Motor Vehicles is polling ahead of the IRS, and car jackers are edging out child molestors.

I was really confused until I realized that you probably intended both of those to be analogous to 122, but not to each other. "What the hell," I thought, "Does the IRS have to do with child molesters?"


Posted by: Cyrus | Link to this comment | 04-23-08 2:27 PM
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129: I know. It's just been really stunning to me in the last while to fully acknowledge it. I mean fully. I don't know what to do about it.

I/we need a new narrative to explain ourselves to ourselves. This is not a new topic; people have certainly done work in this area. It still almost always comes to something aspirational: we look for something to overcome or strive towards. Fair enough. Sometimes it's expansion of property, sometimes it's promotion of an ideal. Depending on what you think counts.

At this point, environmental degradation counts seriously enough to suspend such hand-wringy questions, anyway. Perhaps altering our rapacious ways will take precedence.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 04-23-08 2:31 PM
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"What the hell," I thought, "Does the IRS have to do with child molesters?"

Believe me, child molestation does not generate nearly enough income to have to pay taxes on it.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 04-23-08 2:34 PM
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129. Yeah apo, why you didn't start with the injuns, only briefly displaced by the Mexicans, is beyond me. The red man was the enemy until what, 1890? (1886 capture of Geronimo).


Posted by: Tassled Loafered Leech | Link to this comment | 04-23-08 2:36 PM
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"What the hell," I thought, "Does the IRS have to do with child molesters?"

You haven't heard Bush's latest tax proposal? He will fight child sexual abuse by cutting the top marginal rate of personal income tax and exempting long-term capital gains from tax.

The Democrats have countered with a plan for a refundable non-molestation tax credit, to be available on a sliding scale to parents who refrain from molesting their children. Infrequent molesters may be able to claim a portion of the tax credit, provided they do not exeed the income phase-out ceiling of $56,000 for an individual or $113,000 for a married couple filing jointly.


Posted by: Knecht Ruprecht | Link to this comment | 04-23-08 2:38 PM
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why you didn't start with the injuns

Since written history began with WWII, I didn't want to stake my credibility on something that might well just be a myth.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 04-23-08 2:41 PM
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Further to 136, House Republicans plan to sabotage the legislative proceedings by offering an amendment that denies the proposed non-molestation tax credit to same-sex couples raising adopted children. This is intended to split the Dem caucus and force Democratic Reps from red districts into an awkward roll-call vote.


Posted by: Knecht Ruprecht | Link to this comment | 04-23-08 2:41 PM
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56 seems to have failed abysmally at my plan to make you guys wonder why I know things about the father of the person who ran over Buddy.


Posted by: washerdreyer | Link to this comment | 04-23-08 2:45 PM
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139: I thought you grew up in Chappaqua? Or was that someone else?


Posted by: oudemia | Link to this comment | 04-23-08 2:48 PM
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I just got a copy of Cotton Mather's two sermons on the hanging of my great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-aunt Elizabeth:

Warnings From The Dead, In Two Parts.

Part I: A Blessed Medicine For Sinful Madness;
Part II: A Holy Rebuke To The Unclean Spirit.

Cotton didn't hold anything back. Pretty much everything he says applies to each and every one of you.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 04-23-08 2:48 PM
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I was going to deny having ever said so in a googleable format, but it turns I've done that too.


Posted by: washerdreyer | Link to this comment | 04-23-08 2:53 PM
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142: Is the dog killer also the wife killer, w/d?


Posted by: oudemia | Link to this comment | 04-23-08 2:55 PM
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137 really makes me very happy, even a bit giggly.


Posted by: Ari | Link to this comment | 04-23-08 2:57 PM
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141: I recently lectured on Cotton Mather (well, he was part of the show): a boring lecture filled with great quotations.


Posted by: Ari | Link to this comment | 04-23-08 2:59 PM
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One of the wife-killer's kids may well have been the same year in high school as the dog-killer, but that's as close as it gets.


Posted by: washerdreyer | Link to this comment | 04-23-08 3:00 PM
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Cotton did not, in fact, support the witch trials. Or so the internet tells me.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 04-23-08 3:02 PM
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As Emerson knows, I spent a week teaching two of his (crazy, violent) aunties.


Posted by: oudemia | Link to this comment | 04-23-08 3:02 PM
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And come to think of it, the wife-killer only moved there a couple of years ago, so not even that.


Posted by: washerdreyer | Link to this comment | 04-23-08 3:03 PM
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Cotton's denunciation of the sinners sounds a lot like a description of secular liberals: this-worldly, hedonists, think they're God, use birth control, etc.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 04-23-08 3:08 PM
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As Emerson knows, I spent a week teaching two of his (crazy, violent) aunties.

I'm guessing they didn't learn much.


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 04-23-08 3:09 PM
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151: Heh. Hannah was all right, but there's no hope for Elizabeth.


Posted by: oudemia | Link to this comment | 04-23-08 3:11 PM
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Cotton Mather:1700::Sayyid Qutb:1950


Posted by: peter | Link to this comment | 04-23-08 3:14 PM
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According to Cotton, "There never was a Prisoner more hard-hearted, and more unfruitful, than you have been.."

He also says "We count it a sort of Murder to disturb Conception; and what shall we count it then to Kill Infants already Born into the World?"

Take that, unclean women!


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 04-23-08 3:17 PM
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154: What a liar Cotton was. Elizabeth was super fruitful! 3 kids before 20!


Posted by: oudemia | Link to this comment | 04-23-08 3:18 PM
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Cotton Mather did not believe that Killing Infants Not Yet Born Into the World was murder?

interesting.


Posted by: peter | Link to this comment | 04-23-08 3:19 PM
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131: Hippie talk.

This is mystifying.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 04-23-08 3:26 PM
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The hippie-barter complex will be destroyed. Twinkies will be the only food.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 04-23-08 3:31 PM
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The Emerson dwelling was known as that wicked house.


Posted by: Mary Catherine | Link to this comment | 04-23-08 3:39 PM
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In outline Cotton Mather's sermons are exactly like the average wayward-youth sermon of today. It's like he made the template.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 04-23-08 4:41 PM
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This post should have been titled, "(I Don't Want to Go to) Chelsea."


Posted by: washerdreyer | Link to this comment | 04-23-08 4:47 PM
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136: hee


Posted by: cerebrocrat | Link to this comment | 04-23-08 4:53 PM
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159: In which reading comments elsewhere is retarded, in a way.

Melons will be the only food.

Viewing caged chickens is horrifying.

Free your feet.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 04-23-08 5:14 PM
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Oh, sorry, that should have been 158. Drat.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 04-23-08 5:36 PM
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For all you Elizabeth Edwards fans out there, you might have to reconsider:

Newsweek's Howard Fineman said on MSNBC last night Elizabeth Edwards is likely to show up at a Clinton rally or two, but can she convince the ex-candidate to come over? It's a tough decision for John Edwards since Obama is such a heavy favorite in his home state.

Posted by: politicalfootball | Link to this comment | 04-23-08 6:59 PM
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Bill Clinton chews qat, and is finally revealed as the secret muslim he is. Finally it all makes sense.


Posted by: Nápi | Link to this comment | 04-23-08 7:25 PM
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Ok, who's going to write the e-mail spreading rumors that Obama is a secret Christian?


Posted by: eb | Link to this comment | 04-23-08 7:27 PM
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Parsimon's comment way back at 127 made me imagine a video game, where you think the final boss is going to be the Muslims, but in a stunning surprise, it's the atheists.


Posted by: Walt Someguy | Link to this comment | 04-23-08 10:40 PM
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