We need to step it up. If you could redesign the US paper money and coinage, who or what would you put on it?
Questions like this.
I really don't like them. In one sense they're quite handsome, but seeing bits of flags chopped off, I get irritated.
It's not even your flag, you anglophile.
Kind of odd that there are no numerals on any of them.
We need to spread the homeless out throughout this great land, so that citizens with money have something to do with their loose change.
And the answer to your question is: Michael Jordan.
I'll take this motherfucker to ten all by myself.
My opinion of the new American money.
As for a new design, I really like the way the metal looks on the British coins, so we should have that. Maybe some more of that eye-and-pyramid shit, or random triumphant designs with hidden symbols and stuff just to fuck with the apocalyptic types.
Kind of odd that there are no numerals on any of them.
Unlike ours?
Kind of odd that there are no numerals on any of them
These are the numerals on a quarter I just got from my wallet: 1816; 2002
On a dime: 1985.
9 - Yes, because it's unacceptable that the post didn't make it to 10 in five minutes.
Those are truly bad-ass coins. The fragmented design is very cool. I wonder, though, whether it's less cool when you just have one coin rather than the whole set?
You guys do what you want with your money, as long as you don't give it all to the Saudis. But seriously, get rid of that fucking pyramid thing, which the rest of the planet regards as a joke. And different sized notes for blind people would be good - everybody else in the world is with the programme. And $1, $2, $5 coins would save you a lot of money. Just sayin'.
It's not even your flag, you anglophile.
I am an Anglophile, but it isn't the sacredness of the heraldry being defiled that bothers me. I just want to see the whole thing. I don't like things being chopped up.
In 13, Ben was crushingly pwned by me in 12, like a bug meeting a windshield.
This comment is like the windshield wiper, making the impact all the more noticeable and smeary.
I got a new 5 dollar bill the other day, and the purple numbering made it look ridiculous.
Seriously, I wish we'd just get rid of coins. God, I hate loose change. I think we've even had this discussion before.
20- You're high right now, Heebie, right?
I don't like things being chopped up.
BG's misguided sojourn at Whole Foods, explained.
Bob Ross. Here we have a happy little mint-mark.
Canada's bills are all the same size. I think they feed their blind people to grizzlies or baby seals or something.
23: If I were high, could I do THIS:
I am the very model of a modern Major-General,
I've information vegetable, animal, and cookies, and hey, anyone going to the store? Want to get some ice cream? All I've got is this pack of oreos and it would taste so good...You know, I could crumble them up in milk and eat it like cereal.
they feed their blind people to...baby seals
Yet more chopping up. I'd like to get rid of paper money, too, but that seems like it would be a problem, given the coming 1) apocalypse 2) tyranny.
Have I mentioned my plan. Everyone talks about doing away with the penny and nickel, but the problem is with quarters. Quarters are just too useful and are here to stay for the time being -- for laundry machines if nothing else.
The problem is, that if the smallest coin is a dime, if a total is $2.10, and the customer has 2 dollar coins and a quarter, there is no way to make change.
So, the solution is to get rid of the penny, nickel, and dime, and have the smallest coin be either 1/8 or 1/12 of a dollar, so that it will divide a quarter evenly.
Personally I like 1/12 because I like the idea of a coin who's value cannot be written exactly using decimal notation.
1/8, on the other hand, has nice historical resonances.
I wish we'd just get rid of coins
We need to get rid of the penny, but higher-denomination coins are a good idea.
How about replacing the dollar bill with a dollar coin? A dollar is fiddling small change and you don't want to wind up thumbing through a stack of bills every time you buy a coffee and end up getting a ten mixed up in there because all the bills are the same size and colour.
And if you make a dollar coin, you could put someone neat on it, perhaps a native American woman?
Every American denomination should carry a picture of the Republic's modern mythic founders: movie action heroes. The coins could carry impressions of figures like Captain Kirk, Bruce Lee, Shaft, etc. while paper money would carry famous screen cowboys, from Gene Autry to Matt Dillon in Gunsmoke through to the Duke and Eastwood's Man With No Name.
I really don't like them. In one sense they're quite handsome, but seeing bits of flags chopped off, I get irritated.
They aren't bits of flags, they're bits of a heraldic device. Also they aren't chopped off, they're chopped up. No piece neglected! (Actually, I can't quite tell. Maybe there are slivers missing thanks to the fact that circles don't tesselate.)
Personally I like 1/12 because I like the idea of a coin who's value cannot be written exactly using decimal notation.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Oh man, you're cracking me up. American people, using fractions, that's rich.
29. We had that for centuries: 12 pennies to a shilling; 20 shillings to a pound. Divisible by any integer from 1 to 6 or (almost) any multiple thereof.
But they laughed at us. They laughed!. We'll see who laughs last.
More seriously, it would contextualize fractions and people would grasp more easily how they work. I would be in favor of a 1/12 coin system.
They all rustle differently
Every blind person has its own distinctive rustle!
14: 9 - Yes, because it's unacceptable that the post didn't make it to 10 in five minutes.
Yes, he's cheating to avoid another debacle like these two: Ain't it the Way (they said cunt ... heh, heh)
—15 comments and the self-describing hit No Talking About Baseball!—14 comments.
Ogged's guiding question: What would Hillary do?
I've been moving things this week and just discovered my stash of elderly English money [even a farthing]. I figure that I'll hold onto it, and when the pound is worth US$20, I'll turn it in. Now I wish I'd kept those sterling travelers cheques I bought at $1.20...
I remember getting back to the US from one of my longer jaunts abroad and being confused because ALL THE MONEY WAS THE SAME COLOUR. And had dead men on it. It's time we had some interesting women on our bills, but they seem to be relegated to coins that are unpopular because they all feel like quarters. Or have a slight gold tinge, which makes cashiers refuse to take them, somewhat like the late lamented $2 bill.
The apocalypse might be at hand or mightn't, but the Finno metal-cello band is on tour in the US of A. They play in DC tonight.
28: I'd like to get rid of paper money, too, but that seems like it would be a problem
Maybe the US could be the first country to switch to a chicken-bone currency.
38: And flavour, too. Like we'd leave all that good eating to the Grizzlies.
America used have eight bits to the dollar (12½ cents each). When money is at stake people have to learn to do math.
And had dead men on it.
Gross! Did you hose it off?
Only through phasing dollar bills out of circulation will dollar coins be more than a curiosity! No compromises! No mercy! LET THE STREETS RUN GREEN WITH PULP!
Does the Royal Mint know something we don't? QEII is getting long in the tooth, so a new portrait probably wouldn't be in the cards, but is Prince Charles too ugly for coinage? Or is the Monarchy finally on its way out?
46. I think you'll still find the old bat on the other side.
More seriously, it would contextualize fractions and people would grasp more easily how they work. further enrich Coinstar and force retailers to buy new cash registers that tell the employees exactly how many of those suckers to count out.
Does the Royal Mint know something we don't? QEII is getting long in the tooth, so a new portrait probably wouldn't be in the cards, but is Prince Charles too ugly for coinage? Or is the Monarchy finally on its way out?
Actually, I think these are the "tail" sides.
is Prince Charles too ugly for coinage?
A question that answers itself.
Don't think any overthrow of the Monarchy is on the cards, though; they're using the Royal Coat-of-Arms after all.
I wish we'd just get rid of coins
Then what would I throw at strippers?
who or what would you put on it?
I'd put the singer for Nickelback on the nickel. But I'd put him on the front, just to irritate him. Other than that:
Penny
Dime - No change! FDR!
Quarter
50 cent piece
Dollar coin
RFTS was pwned like a smurf meeting a lawnmower. A lawnmower named OFE.
I was pwned in pointing out rfts's pwnage, but it was gentle, like lullaby on a summer's eve.
And different sized notes for blind people would be good - everybody else in the world is with the programme.
Where in the world? Not any country I've ever been to. That is, Canada, Lithuania, and Estonia before the latter two adopted the Evro.
Then what would I throw at strippers?
Are they landing on your windowsill again?
Personally I like 1/12 because I like the idea of a coin who's [sic] value cannot be written exactly using decimal notation.
It can be written exactly with a very slight extension to decimal notation: $.08333...
53: Then what would I throw at strippers?
Again: chicken bones!
The more I think about this idea the more I like it.
I'd put the singer for Nickelback on the nickel.
He's Canajun, you can't have him.
before the latter two adopted the Evro
Your question also answers itself.
shvibunny calls the Sacajawea dollars 'subway dollars.'
Dirty Latin two-line poems could go on the new money. Into many, one.
The country with the lamest money has got to be Turkey:
.25 lira coin: Ataturk, frontal portrait.
.50 lira coin: Ataturk, profile.
1 lira coin: Ataturk, 3/4 view.
5 lira note: Ataturk in brown ink.
10 lira note: Ataturk in red ink.
20 lira note: Ataturk in green ink.
etc. etc.
Though, the imaginary landmarks on the Euro are pretty lame too.
He's Canajun, you can't have him.
You think a detail like that is going to stop the United Fucking States of America? (Seriously, you want to keep Chad Kroeger? Huh.)
Deutschmarks had Carl Friedrich Gauss, Clara Schumann, Anette von Droste-Hülshoff, and Jakob & Wilhelm Grimm on the bills. Mathematician! Composer! Writer! Philologists! Though I guess Germany had to go the cultural route, since valorizing political figures from the past was pretty much out.
Seriously, you want to keep Chad Kroeger?
Good point. Anyway that was a typo, I meant "Cajun." You can keep him.
||
I was in the hardware store when a Tom Bodett Motel 6 commercial came on the air. I swear Bodett used the word "pwn," which constitutes incontrovertible evidence that word is played.
|>
David Markson likes to bitch about countries other than the US honoring autochthonous cultural heroes on their currency, street names, etc. Isn't Yeats on some Irish money?
I'd like to nominate Obama for the dime.
Is there a word for the four-loop pattern on the old 5-markka coin? I was fascinated by it as a kid. I drew it on everything after seeing that coin in a grab-bag that my dad got for me.
Where's the £2 coin? Shit. I hope they don't get rid of it.
Though, the imaginary landmarks on the Euro are pretty lame too.
I like that they represent periods. I'm always disappointed that I so seldom get to see the modern one, because the denomination is too high.
Only the penny must go; all other coins are useful my retirement plan awesome.
Given a choice, I'd kill the dollar bill before I'd kill the penny. Both should die, but pennies are easier to ignore.
Seriously, what do you do with loose change? Don't you just carry it to the nearest receptacle (I have one at home and one at the office) and dump it off? Then maybe every once in a while you go cash it in. But otherwise it's just like noisier, heavier lint. I can't tell anymore if you're all trolling me or I'm trolling you.
The thing about picking cultural heroes for bills, especially, is that you also have to think about what other decorative stuff you could have on there that would look cool.
I vote for Louis Armstrong on the $10 bill, MLK on the $20.
I vote for Louis Armstrong on the $10 bill, MLK on the $20.
This is so Cambridge. I'm outraged on behalf of the heartland. Let's put Lewis and Clark on something. Then let's make gay jokes about it.
Seriously, what do you do with loose change? Don't you just carry it to the nearest receptacle (I have one at home and one at the office) and dump it off?
I have a change pocket in my wallet, and spend my change just like money. Even the pennies!
74: Not all of us are as rich as you are.
It's less annoying when it's bigger coins.
75: "Armstrong" s/b "Farrakhan"
I use pennies pretty often. If it's $1.57, I'll give $2.07, that sort of thing. Flummoxes cashiers a frightening amount of the time.
(And before someone makes a crack about me being that person holding up the line while I count my pennies, I'll have you know that I'm very efficient at the checkout! Even while bagging my own stuff! Lots of practice in Germany.)
This is so Cambridge. I'm outraged on behalf of the heartland.
Ok, we'll put Hoagy Carmichael on the nickel.
I have a change pocket in my wallet
That's technically known as a "coin purse," isn't it?
The fact that the British have Darwin on their money makes my heart swell with Anglophilia. While I was studying abroad, it also caused me to get into a long argument with two other Americans from a small Christian college. One, if I recall, later became a White House intern.
67: countries other than the US honoring autochthonous cultural heroes on their currency
My favorite was pre-Euro Greek currency, whose 10,000 drachma note--in a tribute to Greece's contribution to medicine--featured Asklepios on one side, and the guy who invented the Pap smear on the other.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Oh man, you're cracking me up.
I was a math major, you know. Apparently nobody else finds the idea quite as funny.
Flummoxes cashiers a frightening amount of the time.
Once when the total was $17, or something like that, and I paid $22, the cashier refused to accept my ones, not understanding that I wanted a five-dollar bill in change.
Lewis and Clark would be good. And you could have a map of the U.S. in the background, and some wildlife, and the arch Jefferson National Expansion Memorial.
That's technically known as a "coin purse," isn't it?
No, a coin purse is a different item entirely, intended solely for containing coins. I have a pocket in my wallet.
Ooh, Mark Twain! That would be good!
(As you can see, my secret motive is to make all Missouricentric money.)
We've had this conversation before. Quarters are useful because they can do things that bills cannot do (like feed meters, or storage lockers, etc.), but all other change is just garbage. I would pay someone to take it away from me.
69: Why, it's a hannunvaakuna, obviously.
I would pay someone to take it away from me.
Yes, that's what it's for.
Well, I always try to collect quarters for the laundry machine.
I sometimes use pennies for the purpose of not acquiring too many more pennies. I do like the idea of ditching the nickel, promoting the penny (i.e. 5 cent coin w/ Abraham Lincoln on it) & keeping the dime & quarter the same.
Blume gets credit for everything (finding the coins, the question of what would go on new American coins, the idea that it'd make a swell unfogged post) except the contents of this thread, for which you bastards get the blame.
94: I do that too. There are change machines at the laundromat, but I like paying amounts such that I get quarters in change, and collecting my laundry money that way.
Though more recently I just do my laundry for free at Sifu's house.
Sweet jeez 40 comments while I was writing that. Never mind me! I'll be soldering!
What is Ben Franklin if not a cultural hero? And who among you be so mean and niggardly to roust the Father of our Nation and The Great Emancipator? And does it not tickle the irony bone of you hipsters that Jackson is on the note most frequently dispensed by the banks of the US? Hamilton also was never President. So, I'll grant you Grant.
Maybe we should have one coin that would have a variable value, depending on what change you need. It's all just social compact anyway; it's not like that stuff is *actually* worth anything. Just make it a joker.
may i popularize ours
Mongol coins
hope, you'll enjoy
i recalled who were the first Americans i learned about and it seems to me they were Jimmy Carter, Mark Twain, Harriet Beecher-Stowe, Abraham Lincoln, Walt Whitman, in this order
i keep my coins in a small owl-shaped purse
Quarters are useful ... all other change is just garbage
Join me in my compromise solution. It only means on more coin in addition to the quarter.
It's all just social compact anyway; it's not like that stuff is *actually* worth anything.
Actually, the metal in a nickel is worth more than five cents.
THE MORE YOU KNOW
43
"America used have eight bits to the dollar (12½ cents each). When money is at stake people have to learn to do math."
Decimal coinage is of course better which is why the stock exchange switched to decimal not too long ago.
I'll give you Ben Franklin. Fun design possibilities with him and all his inventions.
103, see 78. Don't bug me, kid.
More seriously, I think the issue I'm having is that over 90% of my transactions are by debit/credit card. I have to get physical money for specific things when I know I'll need it (paying the swim coach, doing laundry), so "real" money has just become a hassle; an extra step for a particular transaction.
Seriously, what do you do with loose change?
I buy stuff with it. You know that it has value as currency, right?
What about failed presidential candidates? Al Smith on the five!
103: to be technical a nickel has "negative seignorage"
Well, there's already the plan for the first lady coins. At least failed presidential candidates would be there for something they themselves did.
Re 101: Jimmy Carter on money would be awesome.
Though I guess Hillary will fit both categories.
111: soon enough we can have both!
I've flummoxed cashiers that way too, but I've also been on the other side. It can be pretty hard when you've been punching in numbers (the scanners came later) and handing out what the machine tells you to for hours, and then suddenly you have to use your brain. That's when I'd have to pull the starter cord on my head a few times to get the engine to turn over, puffs of black smoke escaping from my ears.
At least failed presidential candidates would be there for something they themselves did.
Marrying well is no mean feat, as you'll realize if you stay on your present course, missy.
Pwned by my own girlfriend. Geez.
I don't have so much as a bank account. Almost 100% of my transactions are in cash.
(I am not a drug dealer.)
I don't have so much as a bank account. Almost 100% of my transactions are in cash.
(I am not a drug dealer.)
Are you one of those coin-wrapping machines, then?
74
"Seriously, what do you do with loose change? ..."
Keep it in a change purse and try to spend it as fast as I receive it. This is easy except for pennies which I sometimes leave in the cashier's penny bowl (when there is one).
So I would get rid of pennies for physical transactions (but keep them when writing checks or calculating interest etc.).
Sorry, but Ogged is totally right about this. I knew a guy who kept coins, mostly pennies, in a big tray in his car. When other drivers annoyed him on the road (and he had a farily low threshold for annoyance), he woud grab big handfuls of change and hurl them out his window at the other car, usually at the windshield. The point is that's about the best thing that can be said about coins in this day and age, and it was both dangerous and surely illegal.
119: he lives in Colombia. On a farm. Well, maybe "mansion" is a better word than "farm". It is a farm, though. In a way. Anyhow, no ATM machines for miles.
The image of Shearer (dressed, as I imagine he must be, in a sixties NASA-style white shirt, black tie, and flattop) furiously hunting through his change purse so as to keep the total number of coins as low as possible is just so, so awesome.
103: to be technical a nickel has "negative seignorage"
Yeah, I read that New Yorker article too.
They really should call it "the change purse problem."
Seriously, what do you do with loose change?
Every night, I empty the change from my pockets into a jar. Once a year, I buy my wife an anniversary dinner with the money we get from turning it in to the bank (usually someplace pretty nice, sometimes supplemented with additional funds). I've been cheating this year and dropping twenties into the change machine at work when I want a pop, so we're gonna eat real damn good this year.
124
"Shearer carries a purse!!"
I use to just stick it in my back pocket but I got tired of ruining my pants.
As an unsuccessful attempt to war off evil spirits I start the day with three quarters, two nickels, one dime and five pennies in my pocket. I am then prepared to have exact change for the first transaction of the day. After that, who cares.
125
"... furiously hunting through his change purse so as to keep the total number of coins as low as possible is just so, so awesome"
Mostly I get rid of coins as tips. I use to get rid of pennies that way too but have been informed this is socially unacceptable. Some of you all might think this applies to coins in general but I don't want to know.
101, Read: I had a chance to buy a coin issued by Genghis Khan in Khwarizm (Uzbekistan) once for about $600. I actually had the money but that seemed extravagant.
The Mongols issues Three Stooges stamps awhile back, and I almost bought them too. But I'm not a collector.
Decimals, fractions, dividing by 3 or multiples thereof...none of this would be an issue if only we'd developed with six fingers on each hand.
130: you only need four pennies.
I've tried to explain to people who hoard their change that it makes them go through their bills faster and basically amounts to spending more money on things, or at least loaning that money temporarily, but they never get it.
I hope someone comes up with a good joke about JBS's ruined pants.
I use to get rid of pennies that way too but have been informed this is socially unacceptable.
I use to just stick it in my back pocket but I got tired of ruining my pants.
That's what happened with me and the internet.
Throw your pennies away. In the post-Obamalypse, your descendants will find landfills to be a rich source of minerals and fibers.
18
"... And different sized notes for blind people would be good ..."
Not in my opinion. All the same size is better for the wallet. I expect there are alternative ways to allow blind people to tell the bills apart.
135: I think people know that. It's often a case of forcing yourself to save money for something without noticing.
130: you only need four pennies.
I know that, but this is more for superstition than convenience, so I need the whole dollar, for mental balance, or something.
139: Once again, taking the way of most assholishness. The blind? Fuck 'em!
Are other people having trouble with youtube videos lately? Seems like half of them never load.
(cue apo comment about sex with blind people.)
The french used to have the Little Prince on their 5 franc notes. So awesome!
There's no excuse for MLK's absence from our money. Grant, ffs, has the fifty. We could do much better. My nominations:
1,5, and 10 are fine.
20:Twain.
50:Pynchon
100:King.
On three different occasions, I've emptied out my change jars and cashed my phat rolls in for amounts greater than $100. Free money!
forcing yourself to save money for something without noticing.
I knew people who would always break a bill even if they had exact change in their pocket. I got the impression they would eventually end up losing 9% of that money in a CoinStar machine.
Canada has braille and raised numbers on their money. All the same size, but distinguishable. (And also the nicest money in the world.)
40: And had dead men on it. It's time we had some interesting women on our bills
never gonna happen. Engravings of beards and moustaches are where they hide the really serious anti-counterfeiting designs, so any currency serious about anti-counterfeiting is not going to have women on the coins (the euro banknotes apparently have some funny things going on in the stylised map of Europe, so this may change with technology). Florence Nightingale got the boot from the £5 note for this reason.
62: this was actually quite controversial in Turkey; during the hyperinflation there was a sizeable lobby which held that association with the Turkish lira was demeaning to the memory of Ataturk and therefore his portrait should be removed from the coins. (One of the great moments in central banking was the Governor of the Bank of Turkey unveiling a new note series with the words "Nobody ever wants to see his signature on a note with six zeros on it, but here it is). The UK had the opposite issue for a long time; the monarch's portrait has always been on the coins because they are produced by the Royal Mint, but the notes are produced by the Bank of England, and before the Second World War the Bank flat out refused to put pictures of the royal family on them because they regarded the royals as flighty, undignified, occasionally corrupt and just generally not the sort of people the Bank of England cared to be associated with.
Engravings of beards and moustaches are where they hide the really serious anti-counterfeiting designs
A nude, hirsute woman then.
132: 600 for a coin, wow, that's exciting
in Japan my niece found a Mongol coin in the small antique's shop of my acquaintance, it just laid there with other coins, that, hoard like?, he did not know that it was Mongol, i wouldn't recognise it too if not my niece
on the coin it was written 'hudag' which means a water well, and no numerals, very strange, maybe it was a name of some place and the material of the coin showed its value
like in these UK coins, how would you know which is what
149: You're kidding me, right? What about clean-shaven men?
126: and yet you chose not to use that awesome word? What the hell is wrong with you? Anyhow I hella knew about seignorage before the New Yorker article, so there.
All the famous women in history have been bald. Too bad.
145: Nice proposal, but in reality we're going to end up with Reagan on the dollar coin.
Bush the First's US Treasurer, , was convicted of three felonies. I saved a bill with her signature on it, calling it the "felon dollar", but I don't know where I put it.
I don't particularly like the new designs. I think not putting the worth of the coin on is a bit stupid. And I think they look far too self-consciously modern (or, at least, 2005) - much like the practically-compulsory rebranding and acquiring new logos that everyone seems to be doing - and that they'll look really dated in a few years' time.
Also I'm pissed off that this might mean the end of the interesting 50p coins.
AND the Royal Mint are illiterate idiots:
"Therefore it is not possible to give an exact time when the coin's will appear in peoples pockets."
148: The problem with textured bills for the blind is that they money wears out much more quickly. The feds have been unwilling to make that accommodation because of the added cost.
Differently sized bills pose problems w/r/t sorting and stacking, but since those are minor inconveniences borne by the consumer rather than the government, it's probably the way to go, cranky James notwithstanding.
Canadian coins carry an image of the Queen. Admittedly, I've never looked all that closely, but I'm pretty sure she's clean-shaven.
I really like the Can. 5 dollar bill: Sir Wilfrid Laurier on the front, and on the back, a quote from Roch Carrier's "The Hockey Sweater."
Catalina Villapando was the U.S. Treasurer.
We were worried that you'd been eaten by a bear.
Australian money is plastic and strangely colored. I'd get a small kick out of paying for anything; I felt like I was paying rent for landing on Park Place.
Mostly I get rid of coins as tips. I use to get rid of pennies that way too but have been informed this is socially unacceptable. Some of you all might think this applies to coins in general but I don't want to know.
Using coin that you have carried in pocket for tips is unacceptable. Leaving coin given to you as change as part of a tip that's otherwise reasonable in magnitude is A-OK.
Speaking of alternative currency, if any of you, like me, happen to be stuck in Atlanta Airport at the moment, I will gladly split my extravagant meal voucher with you. Laydeez.
1,5, and 10 are fine.
20:Twain.
50:Pynchon
100:King.
Just add a moustache to Jackson and you get Twain, I like it.
King on the 50. Got to keep Ben, It's all about the Benjamins.
166 - how long will you be there for? I should be able to get a flight ...
King on the 50.
Hey, Salem's Lot was a fun read, but let's not get carried away.
166 - how long will you be there for? I should be able to get a flight ...
Right now, seemingly forever. So come on over.
I'm supposed to be flying to Amsterdam. There's a delay and the pilot comes out and says in his Dutch accent: "We are missing a part for the plane. It is in Minneapolis. It will take several hours for it to get here, and ten minutes to install."
40: just discovered my stash of elderly English money [even a farthing]. I figure that I'll hold onto it, and when the pound is worth US$20, I'll turn it in.
That might not be as easy as it sounds. I passed through England in the late '80s and took home some 20 pound notes that ended up sitting in a coffee tin until I took a trip to France a couple of years ago. I took them along, thinking I'd exchange them for Euros. At the currency exchange in Charles de Gaulle airport, I handed them over to the guy at the counter, and he looked at them kind of funny, took them, and said he'd be right back. He returned after a minute and said he couldn't exchange the bills because they were too old. I asked him if I could exchange them elsewhere, and he suggested the central bank in London. So now the notes are back in the coffee tin, awaiting the day they acquire collector status.
Put Reagan on the penny, then abolish the penny.
I know you people have nothing better to do on a Wednesday night than entertain me while I wait for the relevant bit of my airplane to arrive. And yet, you are all falling down miserably at this task.
Gonerill, look at my fingers: two up on my left hand, one on my right! Da da da-da-da-da-Da da-da-da Pow! now it's two on my right and one on my left! Hey, you ever see a one-ear elephant?
It will take several hours for it to get here, and ten minutes to install.
Yeah, sure it will take ten minutes to install. Just like when the plumber tells you it's an easy job and will only take half an hour or so, and three hours later your kitchen sink is in five different pieces all over the floor and the plumber tells you he has to run out to the hardware to get another part that they probably don't even make anymore to fit your ancient sink, but he'll see what he can do...
Presidential $1 coins are about as exciting as state quarters. They should do a vote--the Stephen Colbert, Rain, & Chuck Norris coins, or whoever, would be far more memorable. (I guess a Reagan one too unless you effectively prevented Grover Norquist from voting 6 million times, but that's a price I'd be willing to pay.)
1: Ogged
2: Unf
5: Apostropher
10: Becks
20: Labs
30: Bob
50: LB
100: w-lfs-n. It must remain about the Benjamins.
I am trying to find a way to distract my readers from the big honking hole in my argument. My latest plan is to put sparkles in the footnotes.
Gonerill, you might want to reserve a hotel room now, just in case.
174: Now that's more like it!
175: Yes, this was my reaction as well. Also the reaction of the 100 or so U.S. soldiers who were going to be on the flight, clearly born of long experience with organizational snafus. But then they all got a gate change and went away.
They should do a vote--the Stephen Colbert, Rain, & Chuck Norris coins, or whoever, would be far more memorable.
A vote?! Dear God, you'd end up with Ayn Rand on one of your coins.
Gonerill, you might want to reserve a hotel room now, just in case.
I'm within driving distance of my in-laws, so I can go there if absolutely necessary. Alternatively, KLM better pony up for a hotel room.
If this thing doesn't leave as presently scheduled, then the conference I'm supposed to be going to in Germany will begin to seem rapidly not worth it.
Canadian bills are nice, but the Royal Canadian Mint will put nearly anything on a quarter for some reason.
Here you go, Gonerill.
I am calling Ted Kennedy and telling him to have you rendered to Egypt. He owes me.
The last time I flew to Amsterdam was on Northwest. The NWA logo on the seat in front of me entertained me to no end.
P.S.: It's all about the Martins. The hundred-dollar bill is iconic, and the person depicted thereon should be iconic as well. All due respect to franklin, but MLK has him beat by a mile.
181: You got a problem with democracy, Mary Catherine?
have you rendered to Egypt
At least I won't have to listen to that song.
At least I won't have to listen to that song.
Actually, I believe it's what they pipe in to the Stress Position Chamber.
Gonerill: Not immediately relevant, but it will become so: the TSA-equivalents at Schiphol are hardcore. Be prepared to account for your whereabouts in-country and describe your travels in detail. The last couple times I've been through there they gave me no end of grief.
And, if it goes that long, there's a place up on Harlemmerstraat that serves a full English breakfast. It's about three blocks from Centraal station, and very tasty.
i think i'm blind
i had another look and there are their values written all over the coins
185
"... The hundred-dollar bill is iconic, and the person depicted thereon should be iconic as well. ..."
That wouldn't last if the treasury resumed printing $1000 bills.
191 - yes, but they should have numbers on them. For visitors.
ha! On board at last. Onward to Amsterdam.
I would like to note, having now seen the coins in question, that the new coins are completely badass.
ha! On board at last. Onward to Amsterdam.
Can I get the name of that plumber? Bon voyage!
We used to have some pretty cool coins, but our modern currency is all about fetish objects for the cult of dead politicians. Numismatic design should be more fun and imaginative.
Somewhere around, I have a 10 cent bill. It's tattered and rather hard to read, and I bet no one would take it at the supermarket.
149: Women tend to have more hair and more interesting clothing than men, so it's not impossible to hide things about their persons. Based on theyou-gotta-have-face-hair arguement, every president after 1916 would be disqualified.
I would deeply appreciate more distinguishable paper money so that when I am drunk and trying to pay the cabbie on a dark street, I'm more likely to be able to figure out what the hell I'm doing.
Yeah, and the blind people thing too. But drunk people in the dark lose a lot of cash.
Giacometti gets my vote for coolest person on a bill (100 CHF, I think?). How about we put Rauschenberg on the $50?
88: and you could have a map of the U.S. in the background
I'm thinking a series of maps, have them follow the growth of the US as you go up in denomination. (And restart the $1000. On it you show the map of where in the world McDonald's are located, maybe with Tom Friedman's face on it.)
When I was a kid my mother sometimes would show me Five (Sterling) Pound Notes (bills) she got from the bank. They were white with, I think, green lettering, and about the size of bedsheets. Blind people had no problems with that I bet. Hence:
The owl and the pussycat went to sea
In a beatiful pea-green boat
They took some honey
And plenty of money
Wrapped up in a Five Pound Note
Also the reaction of the 100 or so U.S. soldiers who were going to be on the flight
Gonerill's ended up in the middle of the US invasion of the Netherlands? Liveblog it!
The Bank of Scotland notes have various key Scottish industries on the back - £5 is Oil and Energy, £20 is Education and Research, and £10, awesomely, is Brewing and Distilling.
204. The relative importance of each sector in the modern scottish economy.
The £1 note has Chibs and Malkies on it.
The £50 has a temazepam capsule on it.
Meanwhile, I remember the old Austrian schilling notes had obscure Austrian economists. Von Bohm-Bawerk was on the 100.
re: 207
Heh. I can imagine it now.
"How many jellies can I huv fir this jelly?"
I got a James Madison dollar coin in with my change the other day. I didn't even know we were doing this. I'm waiting for the Albert Gallatin $10 bill, though.
206: A chib, yes, but I don't think one could depict a malky. It's a concept, not an object - a "malky" is a murderous attack. As in "to give sb. the malky" - to kill, murder, assassinate, whack, slot, or give the good news to sb.
I suppose one could depict a malky being given. With a chib, possibly.
almost anything is an improvement to US currency. Even the ugly purple "5", and that's saying something.
I always liked the St Exupery 50-Franc note, which fittingly was worth a bottle of good table wine.
212 meet (well, correct, technically) 145.
re: 210
Yeah, I know what a malky is. Being from central scotland, etc.
I had a vision of the object [chib] being used to perpetrate a malky.
Chibs and Irn Bru bottles, if we want to stick entirely to material objects.
"Tongs Ya Bas!" across the bottom of the note?
The people at 214 have blocked us to prevent abuse. Stop the abuse, folks!
Giacometti gets my vote for coolest person on a bill (100 CHF, I think?). How about we put Rauschenberg on the $50?
So, so cool. Giacometti may be the only person pictured on money today whom I've ever had nightmares about.
218: Put the cursor in the URL field and hit enter again. You'll see it.
Sax trivia I just picked up: Rachmaninoff included an alto sax solo in the orchestration of his Symphonic Dances; that line was originally intended to be sung by Marian Anderson.
re: 217
That could be seen as derogatory to Sino-Scots. And also to members of the counterposing Young Team cultural fraternity.
Sax suffered from lip cancer but made a full recovery.
215: as am I; I was just wondering whether "malky" had different meanings in our different parts of central Scotland, and also dropping in a bit of gratuitous explanation for everyone not from central Scotland.
I would support the Scottish banks printing notes bearing the names of Young Mental Clydesdale, St Andrews Square Tong and Bank Of Scotland Ya Bas.
re: 223
I had a sort of 'knives and stabbings' idea in mind. But I can see how it could be unclear what I meant.
Chib was something that seems to differ, though. I grew up thinking a chib was a weapon, but I heard it used of blunt objects, rather than knives. Only when I moved to glasgow, did I hear it used for knives. But that might have just been me being dumb.
Giacometti may be the only person pictured on money today whom I've ever had nightmares about.
How would that work? Being attacked by small surreal statues, or the man himself?
Giacometti himself was fairly grim-looking.
Australian money is my favourite money in the world. It's waterproof! They don't disintegrate! And you can look at things through the little transparent bit and pretend to be a crap spy!.
