Re: Sober, Bitches!

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Congratulations, ala, though the word doesn't seem sufficient to the occasion. Genuinely fantastic news.


Posted by: SomeCallMeTim | Link to this comment | 06-10-08 10:44 AM
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Great post. Thanks for writing it.

Why do the NYC people get to have all the fun?!?!


Posted by: Will | Link to this comment | 06-10-08 10:46 AM
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on account of they live in new york city.


Posted by: alameida | Link to this comment | 06-10-08 10:47 AM
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Woo sobriety!


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 06-10-08 10:48 AM
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Wow, was that really two years ago? It doesn't seem that long, but then pot does lead to distorted perceptions of time, I guess.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 06-10-08 10:49 AM
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Holy crap, two years already? Way to go!


Posted by: Cala | Link to this comment | 06-10-08 10:49 AM
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Good work, Alameida. You work it.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 06-10-08 10:49 AM
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Congratulations. My dad had his 30-year celebration a while back.


Posted by: lw | Link to this comment | 06-10-08 10:49 AM
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Why do the NYC people get to have all the fun?!?!

Srsly. Don't Alameida and Husband X ever want to visit their nurturing [or whatever] mother?


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 06-10-08 10:51 AM
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2: Hey man, you get UnfoggeDCon.

Congrats, Alameida! It's impressive how well you seem to have these issues of use vs. addiction worked out. Best of luck for the future!


Posted by: Po-Mo Polymath | Link to this comment | 06-10-08 10:52 AM
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actually I'm going to DC too, in later July, but I haven't decided the dates yet. I'll post about it when I know. perhaps by providing lots of food and drink we can dragoon the flophousers into hosting. and then I can leave my kids with my mom.


Posted by: alameida | Link to this comment | 06-10-08 10:54 AM
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Who's awesome?

You're awesome. Congratulations.


Posted by: RobDP | Link to this comment | 06-10-08 10:56 AM
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Woot! Congrats!


Posted by: Robust McManlyPants | Link to this comment | 06-10-08 10:56 AM
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Yes, congratulations and best wishes from flyoverland.


Posted by: I don't pay | Link to this comment | 06-10-08 10:57 AM
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Come to Boston too, alameida.

An unrelated health question. Are you still using that IUD? Have the periods lightened up, since that one where you were just gushing? Did you get a regular old framed one or are the frameless version available in City State X?


Posted by: Bostoniangirl | Link to this comment | 06-10-08 10:58 AM
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2 years!!! That is fantastic. Don't know if Narnians celebrate with cakes, but if so I hope you get lots of cake. All best wishes going out to you.


Posted by: md 20/400 | Link to this comment | 06-10-08 11:00 AM
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BG: I meant to post a follow-up on that. I still have the IUD in that I first got, and for the most part I quite like it. heavy bleeding has been subsiding to normal for me, although a new pattern of tapering on and off rather than what I used to do, which was start with a bang and then taper off. however, my periods have been too long, and I am being lazy about going to the objine and checking that out. I always had shorter cycles than other people but with a much longer period too that's sort of annoying. but, I'm not pregnant or taking pills or using condoms, so that's pretty nice.


Posted by: alameida | Link to this comment | 06-10-08 11:04 AM
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Congratulations, Alameida!

Sadly, I'll be out of town the second half of June. But washerdreyer's suggestion in the other thread of Madison Sq Park is worth a thought. The Shake Shack there has delicious burgers and shakes, and the unbelievable line gets a bit better after 8.


Posted by: Bave Dee | Link to this comment | 06-10-08 11:05 AM
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I got tasty coffee-flavored cake. now I should really go to sleep because it's 1am. night all!


Posted by: alameida | Link to this comment | 06-10-08 11:05 AM
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Congratulations, and thanks so much for sharing your experiences throughout this process with us. Also, I thought my Bryant or Madison Square Park suggestion for a kid friendly meet up at the bottom of the Bar Night thread might be workable.


Posted by: washerdreyer | Link to this comment | 06-10-08 11:06 AM
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And you wake up every morning in a panic at 5:30am, wishing you had died in your sleep and racking your brains for what you might have done posted on Unfogged the night before?


Posted by: PGD | Link to this comment | 06-10-08 11:06 AM
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Congratulations, Alameida! That's really impressive.

I'm sorry I won't be here end of June.


Posted by: Mary Catherine | Link to this comment | 06-10-08 11:08 AM
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Awesome, Alameida. That's quite impressive.


Posted by: Di Kotimy | Link to this comment | 06-10-08 11:15 AM
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congrats alameida. It's a tough haul, especially at first, but so worth it. But that's not news to you.


Posted by: soup biscuit | Link to this comment | 06-10-08 11:17 AM
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That's great!

Two years, wow. Time flies when you're obsessively clicking "refresh"


Posted by: rob helpy-chalk | Link to this comment | 06-10-08 11:20 AM
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DC is lovely in July.


Posted by: Will | Link to this comment | 06-10-08 11:23 AM
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DC is lovely in July.

Such a cliche.


Posted by: JRoth | Link to this comment | 06-10-08 11:27 AM
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Congrats alameida !

Dude, drink some Maker's Mark for me, because booze is great!

On vacation with my brother-in-law, he chastised us for not taking advantage of our opportunities to imbibe, saying, "If I weren't an alcoholic, I'd be drunk all the time ! "

(That's got to be a standard AA joke, but I'd never heard it before and it still cracks me up.)


Posted by: politicalfootball | Link to this comment | 06-10-08 11:29 AM
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Congratulations aside, you have to admit we kind of got gypped in bringing aboard loose-cannon great writer lady and ending up with sober mommy.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 06-10-08 11:29 AM
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29: Roma-ist.


Posted by: JRoth | Link to this comment | 06-10-08 11:31 AM
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Uh. don't you mean "sober great writer mommy"?


Posted by: Di Kotimy | Link to this comment | 06-10-08 11:32 AM
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God bless you Ala. Sober since 6/16/2006.


Posted by: Spenc/r Ackerm/n | Link to this comment | 06-10-08 11:33 AM
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I've actually been impressed with Alameida's ability to remain a loose cannon, despite being sober.

You know, for some people, being a loose cannon is just a product of drug abuse, but for others, loose-cannon-dom is a deeply rooted part of who they are.


Posted by: rob helpy-chalk | Link to this comment | 06-10-08 11:40 AM
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I believe there is something of a consensus among recovering alcoholics that loose cannon-dom is a bit of a prerequisite for becoming an alcoholic in the first place, and the meetings are the only place they can find the sort of crazy-ass loose cannons they want to hang out with sober. This post would seem to say as much.

Ogged, tempermentally a square, may have missed this.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 06-10-08 11:53 AM
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My husband asked me how I dealt with the whole quasi-religious aspect of letting a higher power conveniently relieve you of the tyranny of addiction, and I told him the truth: I decided that having an internally coherent and consistent world view was less important than being clean and sober and happy.

This part would be really tough for me. I'm glad you found a way to deal with it. My uncle was involved with the Secular Organization for Sobriety, which worked much better for him.


Posted by: Sir Kraab | Link to this comment | 06-10-08 11:56 AM
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DC is lovely in July.

This is ironic, right?

DC is a hellhole in the summer.


Posted by: PGD | Link to this comment | 06-10-08 12:00 PM
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This is indeed awesome.


Posted by: Nápi | Link to this comment | 06-10-08 12:01 PM
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Everything glistens in DC in July.


Posted by: Will | Link to this comment | 06-10-08 12:01 PM
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I deny that Alameida is anything like the loose cannon of old. I believe the archives support my contention.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 06-10-08 12:03 PM
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34: I'm pretty sure it's a subset.


Posted by: soup biscuit | Link to this comment | 06-10-08 12:04 PM
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Congratulations and thanks for sharing. You don't need to be a substance abuser to be inspired and helped by your post.


Posted by: asl | Link to this comment | 06-10-08 12:04 PM
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Perhaps atheists could sign up for a group holding that God (the evil Demiurge) causes us to become alcoholics, and that we can only achieve sobriety by killing God.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 06-10-08 12:05 PM
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41: You left off the, "But it helps."


Posted by: washerdreyer | Link to this comment | 06-10-08 12:05 PM
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Congratulations, Alameida. I'm proud of you.

Chances of my getting to NYC at the end of June are astonishingly low, but if I can find cheap tickets for two somehow (Mr. B.'s going to be on a trip himself, so I'd need to bring PK, who luckily can also stay up late), I will.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 06-10-08 12:05 PM
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BR has been asking me about a summer Unfogged meetup. Let's do DC in july!


Posted by: Will | Link to this comment | 06-10-08 12:07 PM
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40: I'll take your word for it.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 06-10-08 12:07 PM
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Also, Ogged's irrational and sexist prejudice against sober mommies has not gone unnoted.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 06-10-08 12:08 PM
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45: no!


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 06-10-08 12:08 PM
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Sifu:

I'll wear a Celtics hat if you buy it for me?


Posted by: Will | Link to this comment | 06-10-08 12:17 PM
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Sifu, Bill Simmons wrote about you in his latest column!

Boston fans...looks like a 295-pound Mike O'Malley, only with a shaved head, a comically ridiculous Baaaaa-stan accent, a T-shirt that's two sizes too small and a blood-alcohol level of 0.27 at all times.

Congratulations!


Posted by: PGD | Link to this comment | 06-10-08 12:34 PM
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47: thinking sober mommies are implicitly boring could be sample bias rather than prejudice per se.


Posted by: soup biscuit | Link to this comment | 06-10-08 12:41 PM
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50: dude I'm 350 at least. And he left out the sweat stains! Darn shame. And really, it's less a Boston accent than a series of r-free grunts and whistles.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 06-10-08 12:42 PM
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Delurking to say congratulations, Alameida. Here's wishing you continued success and happiness.


Posted by: Annie | Link to this comment | 06-10-08 12:48 PM
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Congratulations, Alameida, and thanks for sharing.


Posted by: potchkeh | Link to this comment | 06-10-08 12:54 PM
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Congratulations!


Posted by: mrh | Link to this comment | 06-10-08 12:57 PM
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Congratulations, and many returns on the day!


Posted by: Jeff Fecke | Link to this comment | 06-10-08 1:11 PM
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Wow, Congrats, Alameida!

I am currently losing a brother to alcohol and it is a long, slow, sad way to die. On my worst days I have wished that etoh did it for me but on my best days I thank God that etoh does NOT do it for me.

I agree with you that alcohol is BAD for some but I want to quibble a bit about your comment that some can use heroin responsibly.

In my opinion opiates (never tried anything near as strong as heroin but still) build up tolerance very quickly and when you've reached that point you may be able to stop but you will feel like absolute sh*t doing it. Opiate withdrawal sucks real bad. The diarrhea and restless leg are bad enough but the deep, dark, super-depression is worse yet.

Opiates for real pain do NOT cause the brain to grow new opiate receptors so I strongly approve of opiates for real pain. It is the over-abundance of opiate receptors that leads to tolerance and the terrible withdrawals. While those receptors are dieing off you feel like sh*t.


Posted by: Tripp | Link to this comment | 06-10-08 1:13 PM
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That was some funny shit right there.

That shit was better than Permanent Midnight and Barfly rolled up together and taken suppositorily. But the sobriety thing kicks ass. Many more years.


Posted by: Populuxe | Link to this comment | 06-10-08 1:14 PM
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some can use heroin responsibly

People do exist who only use it sporadically rather than habitually, and so never develop a tolerance or an addiction.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 06-10-08 1:21 PM
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I'm willing to argue that speedballs are hard to do responsibly.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 06-10-08 1:24 PM
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Keith Richard claims to have been a responsible junky. Clean needles and dope of known quality. And occasional complete blood replacement, or was that just a rumor.

A friend said that kicking wasn't that bad if you thought of it as an ordinary sickness. I think that he compared it to several days of the worst flu you ever had, and dealt with it the way you would the flu (by being miserable).

He had long term problems, which I think came from things in his personal history that he'd only partly dealt with and difficulty in finding anything he enjoyed as much as he had enjoyed drugs.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 06-10-08 1:25 PM
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Speaking of heroin, I watched Almodóvar's Dark Habits the other night. It isn't my favorite Almodóvar movie, of the half dozen or so that I've seen, but it's hard to dislike any film that features a convent of drug-crazed nuns.


Posted by: Populuxe | Link to this comment | 06-10-08 1:38 PM
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Clean needles and dope of known quality.

... or, The Autobiography of a Gentleman Fallen Upon Hard Circumstances and Into Low Friendships But Redeemed by Love.


Posted by: Flippanter | Link to this comment | 06-10-08 1:38 PM
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Congratulations, Alameida!


Posted by: My Alter Ego | Link to this comment | 06-10-08 1:46 PM
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Congratulations, alameida.

It would have been 26+ years if the Unfoggedetariat hadn't gotten me drunk election night 2006. So that must be the plan now people. Should Obama win in November with coattails, there must be no partying. We will handle the tension with intense exercise and celebrate the victory with readings on serenity from the wise writers. Preparation is all.


Posted by: bob mcmanus | Link to this comment | 06-10-08 2:11 PM
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difficulty in finding anything he enjoyed as much as he had enjoyed drugs.

There is nothing that good, since drugs rewire the brain. Drugs are never that good, after an early best rush. YMMV, but I take the lesson more broadly, and say you can't recapture the rush of first love or the romance of the honeymoon. Those two are things it is good to lie about though. Shhhh


Posted by: bob mcmanus | Link to this comment | 06-10-08 2:17 PM
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Congrats, Alameida!


Posted by: Chopper | Link to this comment | 06-10-08 2:24 PM
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Can you use opium responsibly? If you have a stand mixer and stay properly hydrated on cucumber water?


Posted by: PGD | Link to this comment | 06-10-08 2:27 PM
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Happy anniversary, Alameida.

it's hard to dislike any film that features a convent of drug-crazed nuns.

The scene presented from the perspective of a tripping nun was totally awesome.


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 06-10-08 2:39 PM
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Good dope probably kills more people than bad dope, though, because people don't expect it to be good. They expect it to be cut and weak.

There's a koan in there struggling to get out, I guess.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 06-10-08 2:50 PM
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Congratulations! You rule.

I'll inquire tonight about whether Pacific Standard would allow children; my hunch is yes. It's also in Brooklyn, but more convenient than the places linked in the other thread--right by the Atlantic/Pacific mega-hub.

It lacks bocce, but has comfy couches, various boardgames, and will soon install a Star Trek: TNG pinball machine.

Yes, I sound like a shill, but the owners live upstairs from me, and the place is awesome.


Posted by: X. Trapnel | Link to this comment | 06-10-08 2:51 PM
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Congrats!


Posted by: Moira | Link to this comment | 06-10-08 2:53 PM
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70: Both of the people I knew who ODed died when they shot up after taking a break from it for a while. I think that's pretty typical.


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 06-10-08 2:56 PM
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66:

bob mcmanus

There is nothing that good, since drugs rewire the brain. Drugs are never that good, after an early best rush. YMMV, but I take the lesson more broadly, and say you can't recapture the rush of first love or the romance of the honeymoon. Those two are things it is good to lie about though. Shhhh

Worse yet is the brain is able to make memories that are more vivid than the original, and opiates tap into THAT too.

You get a high that is OK, can never be re-created, and will be remembered as MUCH better than it was.

Slick little trap, that.


Posted by: | Link to this comment | 06-10-08 2:59 PM
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74 was me. Sheesh.


Posted by: Tripp the Crazed! | Link to this comment | 06-10-08 3:00 PM
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74: it's nasty alright. otoh, i have known people to play sparing with opiates for decades and no real trouble from it. People are wired differently.


Posted by: soup biscuit | Link to this comment | 06-10-08 3:10 PM
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Winners never quit. And quitters never win.

For those for whom that does not work, I recommend this movie.


Posted by: Petey | Link to this comment | 06-10-08 3:26 PM
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May the Non-Denominational Higher Power bless and keep you, Alameida.


Posted by: Knecht Ruprecht | Link to this comment | 06-10-08 3:32 PM
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May you destroy the cruel Demiurge who forced you into addiction, Alameida.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 06-10-08 3:39 PM
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The Demiurge fashioned an imperfect addiction which Alameida was able to withstand. The true creator of our universe, Sophia, would never have made such a mistake.


Posted by: Iamblichus Chalcidensis | Link to this comment | 06-10-08 3:45 PM
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They say that eating melons helps free you from the bonds of this earth. That doesn't make a lot of sense, but it's a more attractive concept than mortification and celibacy.

Alameida, eat melons!


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 06-10-08 3:46 PM
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Congratulations, Alameida! And I did go back to read the liveblogging, which was fascinating and awesome.


Posted by: redfoxtailshrub | Link to this comment | 06-10-08 4:07 PM
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Never believe anything that someone made out of chalcedony tells you.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 06-10-08 4:11 PM
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i wanted to become a geologist when was young
my mom's uni classes were on the building materials and their summer practice was the field trip to the carriers?, i remember she brought home samples of chalcedony and quartz, onyx maybe with very beautiful gradation of colours


Posted by: read | Link to this comment | 06-10-08 5:49 PM
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My brother is a geologist and has worked in Mongolia.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 06-10-08 7:34 PM
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Congratulations, Alameida! I know I said this one year ago, but your soberance tales from two years ago were what got me started reading Unfogged.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 06-10-08 8:40 PM
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Congratulations, Alameida! Time zone delays notwithstanding.


Posted by: OneFatEnglishman | Link to this comment | 06-11-08 1:44 AM
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Any way of me finding all those soberance posts in one soberance place? I'm really crappy at finding relevant needles in this particular haystack.


Posted by: Rottin' in Denmark | Link to this comment | 06-11-08 1:47 AM
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A good place to start might be this date two years ago.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 06-11-08 1:52 AM
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A million congratulations, Alameida.


Posted by: Nworb Werdna | Link to this comment | 06-11-08 3:20 AM
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Congratulations, Alameida. Many happy returns!


Posted by: Jesurgislac | Link to this comment | 06-11-08 4:57 AM
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Oh, bully. The Brits have showed up. Now I can relate the following anecdote (and hopefully Nattar is somewher in the background).

I know an English guy (worked for the BBC) who related the story of being invited to a Scottish wedding where there would be highland dancing. He was warned by one of the bridal party that he should take some lessons in highland dancing before the event, as he could otherwise expect to be humiliated and possibly severely injured in a collision.

So he finds a beginners highland dance group that met in the parish hall of (where else) the Presbyterian Church in Kensington (IIRC). He arrived at the appointed hour to find a goup of folks mingling around chatting--including a couple of minor celebrities and television personalities--and thought to himself, "Wow, I never imagined that such a cool group of people could be highland dance enthusiasts." One of dancers spoke to the my acquaintance and asked him, "So, is this your first time?"

My acquaintance allowed that it was, and then the dancer told him in a somber tone, "It takes a lot of courage to come for the first time. But once you do it once, you'll find that the fear goes away and you'll really come to look forward to it."

While my acquaintance pondered this advice, the other person continued, "Just admitting to a bunch of strangers that you are an alcoholic..."

Yes, he had inadvertently wandered into an AA meeting. He blushed, and said that he thought he was attending a highland dance lesson. The AA member nodded and told him matter of factly that highland dance was upstairs.

So my acquaintance goes upstairs and finds the room with the dance group, and sees a bunch of sweaty, burly Scotsmen and elderly widows. One of them beckoned him to come in, and he quickly blurted out, "Pardon me, but I was looking for the Alcoholics Anonymous meeting."


Posted by: Knecht Ruprecht | Link to this comment | 06-11-08 5:51 AM
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sweaty, burly Scotsmen

You implying there's something wrong with that? [stern look]


Posted by: nattarGcM ttaM | Link to this comment | 06-11-08 6:18 AM
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Also, congratulations Alameida on the sobriety.


Posted by: nattarGcM ttaM | Link to this comment | 06-11-08 6:18 AM
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Oh, I bet I know where that happened -- not the presbyterian church in South Kensington (is there a kirk there?) but the bloody great crypto-fundie Holy Trinity Brompton, just up from the V&A. It was run for years by a very upper-class scotsman whose "people" owned most of Fife or somewhere like that.


Posted by: Nworb Werdna | Link to this comment | 06-11-08 6:21 AM
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My friend the penny whistler goes to the Portland Highland Games with her bagpiper husband, and says that what people say about the stinginess of the Scots is true. A Scottish potluck consists of 25 containers of oatmeal.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 06-11-08 6:38 AM
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In Glasgow a guy asked me for money on Sauchiehall St, but when I explained how skint I was, he gave me a pound.


Posted by: Nakku | Link to this comment | 06-11-08 6:44 AM
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85 what did he find? gold? or maybe uranium
though that was like a top secret
there are not much oil and brilliants, that's pretty lucky
i think almost 70% or close of the territory is now under some kind of exploration license, scary


Posted by: read | Link to this comment | 06-11-08 6:49 AM
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My brother only does water quality work. He makes a good living but will never get rich.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 06-11-08 6:55 AM
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92: "He was warned by one of the bridal party that he should take some lessons in highland dancing before the event, as he could otherwise expect to be humiliated and possibly severely injured"

We don't do that at Scottish weddings any more. Not even to people who try to dance the Gay Gordons without prior training.

Honestly, people, dealing with Scottish country dancing at a ceilidh is not difficult. We all learned how to at primary school. You just practice sitting still and saying, repeatedly, "No, thank you, I don't dance."


Posted by: Jesurgislac | Link to this comment | 06-11-08 8:28 AM
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How did I miss this one? I'm really happy for you, Alameida.


Posted by: strasmangelo jones | Link to this comment | 06-12-08 5:56 AM
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Safe to assume nothing is happening with the meetup aspect of this post?


Posted by: washerdreyer | Link to this comment | 06-26-08 11:59 AM
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