Re: Real People

1

I dated a girl who did this. She was quite remarkably talented at it, but ended up pretty unhappy with the whole thing (the whole thing being, basically, men).


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 06-12-08 11:18 AM
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2

excellent.


Posted by: soup biscuit | Link to this comment | 06-12-08 11:18 AM
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3

I like that the photographer was using all his skills to make every one of those people look hott, both the ones who are conventionally hot and the ones who aren't (Succeeding, too.) It would have been easy to play to stereotype that phone sex lady is old, fat and ugly. Instead, you get old and sexy, fat and sexy, etc.


Posted by: rob helpy-chalk | Link to this comment | 06-12-08 11:19 AM
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4

Also: Everyone likes a sensitive Latin man holding small chihuahua.


Posted by: rob helpy-chalk | Link to this comment | 06-12-08 11:20 AM
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5

I suppose this is the best current thread for this link, assuming it hasn't already been posted elsewhere.


Posted by: JL | Link to this comment | 06-12-08 11:23 AM
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6

A guy I worked with until last week has a girlfriend who does that. She makes good money. The big money is with the regular customers, but she has to remember their names and quirks. Several have asked to buy some of her panties---one of them offering a lot of money for a soiled pair. I imagine they would have used PayPal or something. Turns out you can't send poo-stained underwear through the mail, though.


Posted by: Michael Vanderwheel, B.A. | Link to this comment | 06-12-08 11:27 AM
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7

The older woman with the degree from Columbia did not look hott. She looked tired and slightly haggard, but that may just be because I don't like seeing people smoke.


Posted by: Bostoniangirl | Link to this comment | 06-12-08 11:35 AM
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8

Yeah, she's wrinkling up her nose at the smoke from her own cigarette, too, which is a downer.

OTOH, nice rack!


Posted by: rob helpy-chalk | Link to this comment | 06-12-08 11:46 AM
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9

I clicked on the link expecting to see photos of Sarah Purcell, Byron Allen, Skip Stephenson, and Peter Billingsley.

(The kids who have no idea what I'm talking about should get the hell off my lawn.)


Posted by: My Alter Ego | Link to this comment | 06-12-08 12:37 PM
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10

Why don't they look like the girls (and boys) in the ads? I don't understand. Seriously, these voice actors should be allowed to join AFTRA. Their acting is being conveyed over the airwaves, and they are performing a role to an audience. No justice, no peace.


Posted by: Tassled Loafered Leech | Link to this comment | 06-12-08 12:42 PM
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11

They're not just voice actors; They're writers. If you think about it, it is really a challenging job. They have to read the audience, figure out what they want, write a piece and perform it.

In some ways, it sounds fun, especially because the phone provides a level of personal insulation.


Posted by: rob helpy-chalk | Link to this comment | 06-12-08 12:51 PM
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12

Turns out you can't send poo-stained underwear through the mail, though.

That's what Brown can do for you.


Posted by: Populuxe | Link to this comment | 06-12-08 12:52 PM
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13

I think the main reason I'd be no good at it is that I would keep telling silly stories that amuse me and no one else. "My dick is so long I keep it coiled up on the floor like a garden hose."


Posted by: rob helpy-chalk | Link to this comment | 06-12-08 12:53 PM
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14

Holy shit, do I love the asparagus story.


Posted by: JRoth | Link to this comment | 06-12-08 1:14 PM
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15

I used to call some of these services -- I was never very impressed with them. However, the ones advertised in the back of the Nation (or was it Harper's?) are much better than average. The older one with the son, she might have been one of them. The bills (~50 per) and the ick factor cured me of the habit, though.


Posted by: Herbert Hoover | Link to this comment | 06-12-08 1:14 PM
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16

The older one with the son was the only one who made me think of it as being connected to prostitution.


Posted by: Bostoniangirl | Link to this comment | 06-12-08 1:20 PM
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17

(or was it Harper's?)

You might be thinking of NYRB, Mr. President. "Kinky dominatrices" have run ads in their classifieds for at least a decade.

I really thought that what with craigslist and everything else, that old fashioned phone sex had gone the way of the phone booth.


Posted by: Populuxe | Link to this comment | 06-12-08 1:28 PM
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18

||

Michelle Malkin, stopped clock.


Posted by: Hamilton-Lovecraft | Link to this comment | 06-12-08 1:33 PM
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19

|>


Posted by: Hamilton-Lovecraft | Link to this comment | 06-12-08 1:33 PM
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20

18, 19: However, how crazy does Malkin's commentariat have to be to make Captain Ed look like the sane one?


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 06-12-08 1:36 PM
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21

Bucs Win!

For those who find these exclamations annoying, I would only note that the maximum possible number of them for the rest of this year is ~50, and likely fewer.

And I did already leave a [semi-]substantive comment.


Posted by: JRoth | Link to this comment | 06-12-08 1:39 PM
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22

I don't even like being involved in phone sex for free, with women I know and am attracted to. I'm always racking my brain for the next thing to say. Totally unsexy. I've faked orgasm to just make it stop.

However, the ones advertised in the back of the Nation (or was it Harper's?) are much better than average.

Do these offer sadistic Republican dominatrixes playing Abu Ghraib with you, or soft-voiced, seductive Democrats making sultry promises to end the war in Iraq?


Posted by: PGD | Link to this comment | 06-12-08 1:42 PM
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23

Sarah Purcell

Oh, I used to have a crush on her. The memories! I'm not even going to look her up to find out what she looks like now. I have a bad feeling that Skip Stephenson died in a gutter somewhere. He was always so perky; they always die like that, the perky ones.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 06-12-08 1:45 PM
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24

Oh, shit, he really is dead. I must have known that, somewhere in my brain. Sorry, Skip.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 06-12-08 1:52 PM
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25

Anyone else:

1) going to the Head in the Sand reading at the Strand tonight?
2) loving the idea of Scarlett and Barack as JFK and Marylin?


Posted by: washerdreyer | Link to this comment | 06-12-08 1:52 PM
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26

22: No, it was some lady who claimed to be highly educated and was likening the space shuttle re-entry tragedy to the trajectory of the country. She was also kind of bossy when it came to the business end of the phone call. Interesting, but not my cup of tea.


Posted by: Herbert Hoover | Link to this comment | 06-12-08 1:58 PM
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27

Oh, shit, he really is dead.

But we'll always have his album The Real Comedy of Skip Stephenson. I find that consoling.


Posted by: Populuxe | Link to this comment | 06-12-08 1:59 PM
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28

I don't even like being involved in phone sex for free, with women I know and am attracted to.

Indeed. Frankly, I find talking and sex entirely incompatible. But to each their own...


Posted by: Di Kotimy | Link to this comment | 06-12-08 2:04 PM
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29

Several have asked to buy some of her panties---one of them offering a lot of money for a soiled pair. I imagine they would have used PayPal or something.

And, make sure it's not identifiable as an "adult item" in the transaction, as Paypal doesn't allow for Paypal to be used to buy items in the "naughty" category. Seriously.


Posted by: gswift | Link to this comment | 06-12-08 2:07 PM
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30

Frankly, I find talking and sex entirely incompatible.

In person, I (often, not always) enjoy sexy talk, but over the phone, it's unimaginable to me.

I seem to recall a couple incidents of suggestive phone calls, but that was more sowing seeds for later activities.


Posted by: JRoth | Link to this comment | 06-12-08 2:24 PM
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31

And, make sure it's not identifiable as an "adult item" in the transaction

As a parent, I find that "soiled underwear" has no adult connotations whatsoever.


Posted by: JRoth | Link to this comment | 06-12-08 2:28 PM
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32

I seem to recall a couple incidents of suggestive phone calls, but that was more sowing seeds for later activities.

"Hello? Is this Porsche? I saw your advertisement in the back of the Pulp..."


Posted by: KR | Link to this comment | 06-12-08 2:31 PM
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33

There are 4 ads for what one of them calls "Mature, Intelligent Conversation" in this week's Nation.

Right under the evergreen: SCHOLARLY BOOKLET PROVES JESUS NEVER EXISTED!


Posted by: I don't pay | Link to this comment | 06-12-08 2:40 PM
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34

Kellie Everts: Stripper for God who brought down communism.

Watch the whole thing.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 06-12-08 2:45 PM
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35

I loved this quote from the article linked in 25:

Well, duh. You're Scarlett Johansson! Your quirky-classic features and creamy bosoms are the fantasy of every red-blooded blue-state male in America! Does she think this is happening to girls all over America? Wait a second: Is it? We're going to have to hire a private eye to suss this out.

I like the idea that Obama is spending all of his time emailing every girl in America. He gets up, makes a speech, emails the flower of America's womanhood, goes to bed, gets up, and repeats.


Posted by: Walt Someguy | Link to this comment | 06-12-08 2:50 PM
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36

I just found out that the actress that played pagan school teacher Jenny Calendar on Buffy is now a born-again Christian who warns that paganism is a route to the devil. God ruins everything.


Posted by: Walt Someguy | Link to this comment | 06-12-08 2:53 PM
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37

Phone sex can be hot, squares.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 06-12-08 3:00 PM
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38

I don't believe it, Ogged. What's your number?


Posted by: Walt Someguy | Link to this comment | 06-12-08 3:04 PM
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39
One of the driving forces behind the Obama campaign is that all of these young people who never had a reason to vote before finally got the fire under their ass.

For example, Scarlett Johannson, whose ass was frozen solid until Barry came along.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 06-12-08 3:09 PM
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40

236-965-3766


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 06-12-08 3:10 PM
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41

That's the phone number to turn yourself into Homeland Security for treason, isn't it?


Posted by: Walt Someguy | Link to this comment | 06-12-08 3:19 PM
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42

In person, I (often, not always) enjoy sexy talk, but over the phone, it's unimaginable to me.

I seem to recall a couple incidents of suggestive phone calls, but that was more sowing seeds for later activities.

The phrase "better than nothing" comes to mind.

I remember engaging in such talk around age 16. With a girl I had actually never met. It was a weird situation.


Posted by: CN | Link to this comment | 06-12-08 3:28 PM
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43

I had lots of phone sex before I ever had sex. Fond memories! None of the guys I've actually dated seem to be into it. Current beau (with whom things are probably over, since the ball is in his court for a date, and I haven't seen him in over two weeks) did the phone-version of blanching when he asked what he could do to calm me down before my exams and I flirtatiously suggested that I could think of a few things... Oh sure, they'll have kinky hot sex at the drop of a hat, but it shall never be spoken of on the telephone!


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 06-12-08 3:36 PM
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44

I was going to say that in my experience girls like phone sex more than guys, but...pure selection bias, since I'm the only guy whose sexual tastes I know really well, and everybody likes phone sex more than me.


Posted by: PGD | Link to this comment | 06-12-08 3:44 PM
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45

since the ball is in his court for a date

Stupid question, but you're sure he knows this? Being a dumbass, I've been known to dumbassedly get pissed off at people (date and non-date alike!) for not calling only to discover later that they were assuming the ball was in my court...


Posted by: Di Kotimy | Link to this comment | 06-12-08 3:45 PM
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46

Even the deaf? On second though, quite possibly.


Posted by: washerdreyer | Link to this comment | 06-12-08 3:45 PM
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47

44: Taking you and me as data points, PGD, we have strong evidence that the distaste for phone sex is gender neutral.


Posted by: Di Kotimy | Link to this comment | 06-12-08 3:47 PM
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48

46: Magpie used to work at Relay. She has stories.


Posted by: Josh | Link to this comment | 06-12-08 3:48 PM
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49

45: I asked him out for a date a week and a half ago, and he said he'd really love to, but he had plans that night and then his mom was in town for a week. In the interim, I've gotten a few text messages about the book he's reading and how it might be useful for my dissertation, which I responded to, and about other professional stuff. No plans to hang out.

It's not a big whoop if he just needs some alone time or whatever; I'm just not particularly good with this part where you don't have plans (even like a month away) and no actual "relationship." What I keep reminding myself is that, if it's over, (a) I had a really incredible time with him, (b) he had a really incredible time with me, and (c) there will be opportunities in the future for us to pick this up again if we want to. Nothing makes me think that I was, like, an ass to him, or that he didn't really enjoy spending time with me or something. He's been very demonstrative when we're together. It's also possible that the 1-monthish-anxiety time results in me saying "OMG I really want to see him to get past this part" and in the guys I date saying "OMG I have to spend some time alone to contemplate what the hell is going on" and those two are not really compatible. So I'm playing it cool this time, or trying to. Arrogance comes in handy.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 06-12-08 3:54 PM
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50

everybody likes phone sex more than me

I really doubt that I like it more than you.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 06-12-08 4:06 PM
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51

Can't we just like PGD differently from phone sex?


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 06-12-08 4:08 PM
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52

But I like PGD and apo.


Posted by: Phone Sex | Link to this comment | 06-12-08 4:19 PM
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53

36: Isn't that the most tragic waste of a hottie you've ever heard of?


Posted by: Hamilton-Lovecraft | Link to this comment | 06-12-08 4:26 PM
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54

In some ways, it sounds fun, especially because the phone provides a level of personal insulation.

This is part of why it's not my kind of thing. Kafka, I think, wrote that sex is the price we pay for the joys of intimacy, or words to that effect. I can't see having any feeling of intimacy over the phone. I don't know that it even qualifies as sex; it's more like telephonically assisted masturbation.

That said, other people are perverts, and that's okay, so I'm happy that there are such nice, interesting folks out there to help them out.


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 06-12-08 5:26 PM
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55

Right there with ya, 53.


Posted by: Neil the Ethical Werewolf | Link to this comment | 06-12-08 5:39 PM
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56

And... isn't it kind of like the Christmas episode of season 3 when she came back as the First Evil?


Posted by: Neil the Ethical Werewolf | Link to this comment | 06-12-08 5:40 PM
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57

53: I know. I think I'm actually a little depressed at the thought of it.


Posted by: Walt Someguy | Link to this comment | 06-12-08 6:52 PM
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58

I find phone sex crashingly dull. Cyber sex is worse.


Posted by: Cala | Link to this comment | 06-12-08 7:02 PM
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59

37 gets it exactly right (which is a bit surprising considering the source)


Posted by: Idealist | Link to this comment | 06-12-08 7:22 PM
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60

Heavens, the pleasure, or not, in phone sex is context-specific, no? Its advisability depends on how you know the person.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 06-12-08 7:30 PM
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61

Wait, are we talking about the advisability of phone sex, or the pleasure of it? Two clearly separate things.

Ogged is right in 37.


Posted by: mrh | Link to this comment | 06-12-08 8:05 PM
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62

Actually, I rather like phone sex.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 06-12-08 8:25 PM
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63

Wow, the last one is actually extremely hot.

I've never been able to fathom why people shell out immense amounts of money for phone sex, but I did once have a g/f who was into it and was quite good at it, and it was fun; not sex, but better than nothing for times when one of us had to be out of town.


Posted by: DS | Link to this comment | 06-12-08 8:32 PM
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64

Wow, the last one is actually extremely hot.

True!


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 06-12-08 8:36 PM
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65

I must say, the girl I dated who did phone sex was extremely good at it, and talking to her on the phone I would occasionally find that sort of thing happening quite (or so I imagined) by accident. It was hot and all, but I was being played by a fiddle, by an intimate using her professional skills. Grody!


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 06-12-08 8:38 PM
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66

Probably being played like a fiddle, Sifu.

Nonetheless, as you say, "grody."


Posted by: JRoth | Link to this comment | 06-12-08 9:10 PM
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67

63, 64: You people are so predictable.


Posted by: JRoth | Link to this comment | 06-12-08 9:10 PM
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68

Holy shit, do I love the asparagus story.

Indeed.


Posted by: Blume | Link to this comment | 06-12-08 9:12 PM
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69

62 wins the thread.


Posted by: soup biscuit | Link to this comment | 06-12-08 9:17 PM
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70

67: "Us people"? Who the hell is "us people"?


Posted by: DS | Link to this comment | 06-12-08 9:22 PM
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71

Who the hell is "us people"?

White People. Duh.

There were a couple other hipster types in that slide show, which is funny b/c they could probably make $$ doing phone sex as "themselves," but I'm sure they don't.

68: That wasn't on purpose.


Posted by: JRoth | Link to this comment | 06-12-08 9:25 PM
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72

Phone sex is good in theory, but I never did find a receiver with quite the right shape.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 06-12-08 10:07 PM
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73

2) loving the idea of Scarlett and Barack as JFK and Marylin?

Well, the idea of Scarlett as JFK and Barack as Marilyn is a little weird, but I could dig it, maybe.

(I was loving it as soon as I read that story the other day. Watching ScoJo sing "Happy Birthday, Mr. President" to Obama at some point in the future (in a suitably low-key, ironic, indie kinda way, of course) would thrill me much more than I care to admit.)

Phone sex, OTOH, does absolutely nothing for me.


Posted by: Populuxe | Link to this comment | 06-12-08 10:25 PM
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74

Watching ScoJo sing "Happy Birthday, Mr. President" to Obama at some point in the future (in a suitably low-key, ironic, indie kinda way, of course) would thrill me much more than I care to admit.

Spoken like someone who's never heard her sing.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 06-12-08 10:30 PM
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75

Au contraire, Ben. You speak like someone who has never heard her sing on the phone.


Posted by: Walt Someguy | Link to this comment | 06-12-08 10:34 PM
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76

I already hate talking on the phone as it is, so phone sex just seems like a great way to ruin perfectly good masturbation.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 06-13-08 6:47 AM
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