Re: Into the wild: a toast.

1

Am I to understand from this gibberish that the little bastard has actually gone?


Posted by: dsquared | Link to this comment | 06-16-08 10:13 AM
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Three things:

(1) It's incredibly amusing that you had this on tap like a newspaper waiting for a famous person to die so they can run that obit they've polished across many a slow news day.

(2) This post is just enormously gay. It is gaynormous. Squirrels laughing and "rassling?" Oh, honey. That picture of Aaron What's-His-Batch is nice, though, right underneath that.

(3) The world was a better place before YouTube.


Posted by: Robust McManlyPants | Link to this comment | 06-16-08 10:14 AM
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dsquared I certainly hope you'll be picking up the slack, swimming-post-wise.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 06-16-08 10:17 AM
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this gibberish

I knew I should have dumbed it down for the Welsh commenters. Sorry, dsquared.

The world was a better place before YouTube.

She has lots more videos, too!


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 06-16-08 10:21 AM
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I give him 37 days.


Posted by: Hamilton-Lovecraft | Link to this comment | 06-16-08 10:26 AM
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I have to wait until I get home with a fast internet connection to follow all the links. Hopefully by that point I'll also be capable of graciousness, but right now I'm all like "abandoning your friends again? Ingrate."


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 06-16-08 10:27 AM
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I give him 37 days.

They removed the cancer, Hamilton.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 06-16-08 10:27 AM
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So long, Ogged. I hardly knew ye. Seriously, I hardly did.


Posted by: NCProsecutor | Link to this comment | 06-16-08 10:35 AM
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Having clicked on every link in this post, I feel like I just spent five minutes inside apostropher's back pocket. And then he farted.

I can say "fart" now that Ogged's gone, right?


Posted by: My Alter Ego | Link to this comment | 06-16-08 10:40 AM
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Sorry to see you go, Ogged.


Posted by: Di Kotimy | Link to this comment | 06-16-08 11:17 AM
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So, merely coincidence, or is there more going on behind the scenes than the lowly commenters know?


Posted by: soup biscuit | Link to this comment | 06-16-08 11:43 AM
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A collective outbreak of sanity, perhaps?


Posted by: Cala | Link to this comment | 06-16-08 11:49 AM
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'round here?


Posted by: soup biscuit | Link to this comment | 06-16-08 11:50 AM
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We talk like lions, but we sacrifice like lambs? Do ya know? What I mean?


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 06-16-08 11:52 AM
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Guru Rassa desperately needs a better fitting bra.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 06-16-08 11:54 AM
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I don't get why anybody would "quit" blogging when you can just fail to ever post anything.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 06-16-08 11:54 AM
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And one less s.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 06-16-08 11:54 AM
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16: Some people are weak, Tweety.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 06-16-08 11:56 AM
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16: some people live for the farewell accolades.


Posted by: Brock Landers | Link to this comment | 06-16-08 11:57 AM
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18: Sure, but there's lots of precedent , here.


Posted by: soup biscuit | Link to this comment | 06-16-08 11:57 AM
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the whole place will go to hell now. Already, there's a link from apo, apostrophised "that would be gross", which is perfectly safe to follows.


Posted by: Nworb Werdna | Link to this comment | 06-16-08 11:59 AM
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16: Unlike most blogs, Unfogged has a system of expectations and obligations in place for its bloggers. If Ogged had gone through an annual performance review after a long period of not posting, he may well have been fired. He certainly wouldn't have wanted a termination for cause to be on his resume.


Posted by: Otto von Bisquick | Link to this comment | 06-16-08 11:59 AM
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Are there other stupid time-killing hobbies that people quit with pomp and solemnity? Like, "as of today, no more watching Survivor, ever again."


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 06-16-08 12:01 PM
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you quit the habits you've got, Sifu.


Posted by: soup biscuit | Link to this comment | 06-16-08 12:01 PM
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Guru Rassa desperately needs a better fitting bra.

If you film yourself doing the dance in a well-fitting bra, I'll put your video up instead. In the meantime, Rasa dances to Otis Redding and delivers her lecture, Stop Masturbation, Start Enemas.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 06-16-08 12:02 PM
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other stupid time-killing hobbies that people quit with pomp and solemnity?

Smoking.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 06-16-08 12:03 PM
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You make an interesting point, apo.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 06-16-08 12:04 PM
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23: Some people might argue that the existence of real, live people on the other side of the time-killing hobby of blogging makes an announced farewell a polite courtesy, and so makes the watching-Survivor analogy inapt.

I supopse the analogy ban is now gone.


Posted by: Brock Landers | Link to this comment | 06-16-08 12:05 PM
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28: no, no, you're all imaginary.

Well, okay, Blume is real.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 06-16-08 12:06 PM
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25: No.
26: Speaking of, I had my last cigarette (again!) earlier. Now that I've showered, smoking would give me away to PK when I arrive home in the wee hours.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 06-16-08 12:06 PM
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23: Are there other stupid time-killing hobbies that people quit with pomp and solemnity?

As my experience of late has been that the current offerings have not exhibited sufficient novelty for me to achieve an adequate level of frisson, I am hereby quitting the viewing of porn and will be devoting myself to my new organization Pilates for Baby Pandas.

Covers Brock's objection in 28 as well.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 06-16-08 12:15 PM
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Like, "as of today, no more watching Survivor, ever again."

Here, Sifu demonstrates using a completely outlandish example to drive home a point.

"No more Survivor." Heh.


Posted by: Sir Kraab | Link to this comment | 06-16-08 12:31 PM
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other stupid time-killing hobbies that people quit with pomp and solemnity?

Graduate school?

</auto-banned with extreme prejudice>


Posted by: My Alter Ego | Link to this comment | 06-16-08 12:35 PM
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I'm still working up to that one, MAE.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 06-16-08 12:36 PM
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One day at a time, Ben.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 06-16-08 1:00 PM
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Good travels, Ogged.


Posted by: Yaks McNally | Link to this comment | 06-16-08 1:10 PM
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Did Ogged actually exist, or was he a creation myth for the blog, whose posts were concocted by the other bloggers to provide an air of verisimilitude to an otherwise bald and unconvincing myth (I mean, Bob! -- and Unf!)?

Perhaps Apo killed Ogged off (as George killed off his and Martha's son), because he felt that the other Unfogged bloggers were becoming too invested in this imaginary character. The recent invention of BPL (necessitating creating comments from her, too), perhaps was thought too much.

Or, perhaps, he simply wanted an excuse for this remarkable post.


Posted by: jim | Link to this comment | 06-16-08 1:16 PM
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I should have logged this on the predictions blog.

Knecht, last week: "Expect to hear Barack Obama doing some Cosby-lite on the stump about how inner city kids must grow up learning respect for their elders."

Obama, this week:

"How many times in the last year has this city lost a child at the hands of another child? How many times have our hearts stopped in the middle of the night with the sound of a gunshot or a siren? How many teenagers have we seen hanging around on street corners when they should be sitting in a classroom? How many are sitting in prison when they should be working, or at least looking for a job? How many in this generation are we willing to lose to poverty or violence or addiction? How many? Yes, we need more cops on the street. Yes, we need fewer guns in the hands of people who shouldn't have them. Yes, we need more money for our schools, and more outstanding teachers in the classroom, and more afterschool programs for our children. Yes, we need more jobs and more job training and more opportunity in our communities....But we also need families to raise our children. We need fathers to realize that responsibility does not end at conception. We need them to realize that what makes you a man is not the ability to have a child - it's the courage to raise one."


Posted by: Knecht Ruprecht | Link to this comment | 06-16-08 2:36 PM
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Don't eat the wild potato seeds, Ogged (or are you now calling yourself Cyrus Foreigner or somesuch?).


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 06-16-08 2:52 PM
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We could start a pool on when Ogged will realise that his blogging jones will not be denied life is incomplete without the gentle verbiage of the lunatics those charming folk who frequent this calm, intellectual corner of the multiverse. He will, I am sure, miss the cock jokes friendly badinage and return to B's titties his bosom e-family in due time.


Posted by: DominEditrix | Link to this comment | 06-16-08 3:28 PM
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BPhD@30 - congratulations. I'm just starting week 2 of no smoking and I haven't yet killed anyone. Yet.


Posted by: togolosh | Link to this comment | 06-16-08 3:35 PM
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23 is Airwolf funny.


Posted by: Wrongshore | Link to this comment | 06-16-08 4:46 PM
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43!


Posted by: read | Link to this comment | 06-16-08 5:47 PM
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39: Xerxes Supertool.


Posted by: Cala | Link to this comment | 06-16-08 5:58 PM
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Most eloquent toast, apostropher.

I raise my Moonshine Mohito to you, Ogged. May the flying spaghetti monster bless you and keep you.


Posted by: wrenae | Link to this comment | 06-16-08 6:42 PM
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We should throw ogged a theme party.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 06-16-08 6:46 PM
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46: Oh my god. What could that possibly look like? Must we all don unibrows? Shave ourselves? (That would be interesting.) Adopt a serial killer face? Wear Northface clothing and 5-toe shoes? Try as hard as possible not to hum ... whatever that band is that he likes? Journey. While wiggling our toes. Or have the party amid rocky cliffs.

That's a tough one.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 06-16-08 6:56 PM
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Everybody dress in your personal style, and then we'll plan some activities around the bonfire, so everybody can have fun.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 06-16-08 6:58 PM
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Party pooper.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 06-16-08 7:01 PM
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47: Play softball and yell at ogged when he makes mistakes.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 06-16-08 7:22 PM
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48: Then play some children's games.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 06-16-08 7:24 PM
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I think ogged likes mutual punching each other on the arm.

Face it, people, it's hopeless.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 06-16-08 7:29 PM
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46: We should throw ogged a theme party.

Maybe a party where everyone has fun but he doesn't show up. Maybe you can have it in the past.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 06-16-08 7:34 PM
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It's a real shame Ogged couldn't have been at my Black & White Ball.


Posted by: Truman Fapote Labs | Link to this comment | 06-16-08 7:35 PM
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and then we'll plan some activities around the bonfire, so everybody can have fun.

At the risk of sounding intolerant, I do think we should set some limits. I personally would object to a bookburning. Someone else might draw the line at an auto-da- fé. I'm sure we can all agree on s'mores, though.


Posted by: Mary Catherine | Link to this comment | 06-16-08 7:41 PM
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S'mores are gross. Sorry, man. Also, I would willingly burn several hundreds of books already on hand, but that was rhetorical on Mary Catherine's part, so.

I suppose there would be dancing around this bonfire. Jesus.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 06-16-08 7:50 PM
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S'mores are best made with apple slices in lieu of graham crackers.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 06-16-08 7:52 PM
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57: Gourmet s'mores, only at Unfogged. Geez, I bet you guys don't even bring Pop Tarts when you go camping.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 06-16-08 7:55 PM
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Apples do not go with chocolate. get out of here you fish.

Real gourmet smores, there is a whole section at Trader Joe's, with special vanilla-imbued marshmellows. White people love them.


Posted by: peter | Link to this comment | 06-16-08 7:57 PM
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Apples are gourmet, now? That's just how I always had 'em, and sure enough, they're better.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 06-16-08 7:57 PM
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Me: I'm sure we can all agree on s'mores, though.

Parsimon: S'mores are gross.

Sifu Tweety: S'mores are best made with apple slices in lieu of graham crackers.

I stand corrected.


Posted by: Mary Catherine | Link to this comment | 06-16-08 7:58 PM
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57: I accept Sifu's amendment. How you keep that from melting all over the place, I don't know. Intriguing! Pleasing!


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 06-16-08 7:59 PM
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Canadians still live in the Seventies. Leisure suits, s'mores, eyc.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 06-16-08 7:59 PM
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I bet you guys don't even bring Pop Tarts when you go camping

I bring lentils. Is that bad?


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 06-16-08 8:01 PM
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S'mores are best made by microwaving marshmallow peeps & chocolate from your easter basket and then scooping it up with the graham cracker.


Posted by: Katherine | Link to this comment | 06-16-08 8:02 PM
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57: wrong. who are you, Richard from top chef?


Posted by: Katherine | Link to this comment | 06-16-08 8:03 PM
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60: Apples are gourmet, now?

Fuckin' A they are, for s'mores. More evidence of New England stereotype B2.

(I don't know maybe they're commonplace.)

64: I bring lentils. Is that bad?

Only if you use them in s'mores.

The preceding brought to you by the Bring Everyone Down to My Level Police.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 06-16-08 8:04 PM
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This isn't like some crazy nouveau thing, people. S'mores with apple are a long-accepted alternative. I refer you to the Girl Scout Handbook of 1940. Also, they're better.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 06-16-08 8:04 PM
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Smores are best when made with ras al khannout-flavored marshmallows, pearls of snap-frozen cocoa powder suspended in agarose, and graham foam.


Posted by: Richard from top chef | Link to this comment | 06-16-08 8:05 PM
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68: Turns out Tweety is authentic.

The 1940 Girl Scout Handbook has a recipe for one "Some Mores" that calls for "4 squares plain chocolate (thin), 2 graham crackers, and one marshmallow. This recipe may be varied by using slices of apple (cut cross-wise) in place of the graham crackers; by using pineapple slices or peanut butter in place of chocolate."

Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 06-16-08 8:08 PM
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I like indoor s'mores, where you toast your marshmallow over a candle or your gas burner, faute de mieux.


Posted by: redfoxtailshrub | Link to this comment | 06-16-08 8:10 PM
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Or, I guess, nihilistically, over the cinders of your former home.


Posted by: redfoxtailshrub | Link to this comment | 06-16-08 8:11 PM
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63: I cannot deny that Canada is a backward country. So backward, in fact, that I never had s'mores until I grew up and moved to America. We would just boil the marshmallows in the kitchen, of course. And we didn't have Hershey bars when I was a kid, though we did have this wonderful chocolate bar called Caramilk.


Posted by: Mary Catherine | Link to this comment | 06-16-08 8:11 PM
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Apples instead of graham crackers does sound better than pineapple instead of chocolate but still weird.

69: shouldn't the marshwallows be smoked in ras el hanout?


Posted by: Katherine | Link to this comment | 06-16-08 8:12 PM
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We would just boil the marshmallows in the kitchen, of course.

What?

I remember the first time I was served s'mores with graham crackers. "What the fuck is this," I thought, "where's my apple slices?"

The flavor was much less compelling, with no tart freshness from the apple to balance the sugar.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 06-16-08 8:14 PM
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Yes, that's where the flavor comes from.

You could also use a syringe and smoke them later depending on your smoking setup.


Posted by: Richard from top chef | Link to this comment | 06-16-08 8:14 PM
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77

boil the marshmallows

You are freaking me out.

Jeez, hasn't anyone ever just gently roasted skewers of cubed apples basted in butter & cinnamon over a fire (or grill)? It's like apple pie, without the pastry.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 06-16-08 8:14 PM
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I figured Mary Catherine was referring to homemade marshmallows rather than dunking store-bought ones in boiling water.


Posted by: Katherine | Link to this comment | 06-16-08 8:17 PM
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77: What do you mean, "just"? That's more complicated than smores. It involves basting.


Posted by: peter | Link to this comment | 06-16-08 8:17 PM
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79: By "baste" I mean "roughly smear and then sprinkle." Sorry. Is good, though.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 06-16-08 8:22 PM
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We were roasting marshmallows for s'mores once, when I was a kid, using green switches over the fireplace. My mom's caught on fire; in an attempt to save it from complete ruin she pulled it quickly out of the fire. The switch was very flexible, and the burning marshmallow whipped back and hit her smack in the middle of her forehead. Try explaining that burn mark at the office.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 06-16-08 8:22 PM
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77: I have done close to that, but using pie irons (so you do get the "pastry"). But then God invented Pop-Tarts, mocking our puny efforts.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 06-16-08 8:24 PM
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I read 82 as being to 81. Try it!


Posted by: redfoxtailshrub | Link to this comment | 06-16-08 8:26 PM
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83: now that'd be really painful.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 06-16-08 8:27 PM
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82: "This mark, boss? It's Orthodox Ash Wednesday"

"Yes, we use pie irons to make the ash FROM our very foreheads.."


Posted by: peter | Link to this comment | 06-16-08 8:27 PM
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What is a pie iron?

But whatever it is, surely it's too complicated. We're talking threading cubes of apple on a stick and, you know, holding them over the fire. Unless you want to get all gourmet and shit.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 06-16-08 8:30 PM
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84: But at least you get "pastry".


Posted by: redfoxtailshrub | Link to this comment | 06-16-08 8:32 PM
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87: it's important to have somebody around to wake you up every hour or so the night after you've gotten "pastry", to make sure that the "pastry" isn't leading to a "coma".


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 06-16-08 8:33 PM
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86: What is a pie iron?

Oops, meant to link.
Very simple, some manner of bread and then stuff inside (apples w/butter & cinnamon for instance) and into the fire.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 06-16-08 8:35 PM
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It's like, 'Oh, Ogged's leaving, now we have to tell stories of self-mutilation.' Which beats actual cutting!

max
['If he resumes blogging with tales of his divorce miseries, I'm going to die laughing.']


Posted by: max | Link to this comment | 06-16-08 8:36 PM
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PIE IRON DOT COM


Posted by: redfoxtailshrub | Link to this comment | 06-16-08 8:39 PM
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I'm totally kidding about boiling the marshmallows. We only boiled meat, potatoes, and anything that looked like a vegetable. The idea was to boil the hell out of the food, until every last nutrient had been leeched out of it. Raw cucumbers were a summer treat, and always served in a bowl of vinegar.


Posted by: Mary Catherine | Link to this comment | 06-16-08 8:41 PM
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"Facestry," if you will.


Posted by: redfoxtailshrub | Link to this comment | 06-16-08 8:43 PM
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92: Oh, I thought you made marshmallows to use up all the gelatin you had left over from slaughtering the horse.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 06-16-08 8:43 PM
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89, 91: Yes, so I imagined.

max: no, actually, it's Into the Wild: A Toast.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 06-16-08 8:44 PM
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Don's Square Pie Sauerkraut This is a favorite recipe of our Cleveland based sales rep Don Schuller.
--2 slices white bread Leftover mashed potaoes (tip - when making potatoes substitute mayo for milk) --Sauerkraut --Shredded cheddar --optional ingredients - Leftover spareribs, deboned & chopped into 1" strips.
Place slice of bread, buttered side down, into cooker. Fill with ingredients, cover with remaining slice of bread buttered side up. Close cooker, latch handles and grill until toasted.
Aiee.
Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 06-16-08 8:44 PM
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96: And if you don't use white bread it really doesn't work. (And wear "Parma socks" when you make it.)


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 06-16-08 8:50 PM
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It's just not camping without a deep fryer.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 06-16-08 8:52 PM
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Mmmm. Pirogie pockets!


Posted by: Mo MacArbie | Link to this comment | 06-16-08 8:53 PM
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I would love that.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 06-16-08 8:53 PM
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Hey, pieiron.com has a link to dailykos!


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 06-16-08 8:54 PM
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"Fastry"? There's just no good way to spell that.


Posted by: redfoxtailshrub | Link to this comment | 06-16-08 8:55 PM
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102: "traumatic brain injury"?


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 06-16-08 8:57 PM
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98: And to circle back, another item they seem to make is a "s'more maker", which consists of top and bottom hinged grids between which you place an already constructed s'more and then cook.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 06-16-08 8:58 PM
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97: Parma socks? What is this thing you speak of? Are you from Cleveland, JP?


Posted by: Ari | Link to this comment | 06-16-08 8:58 PM
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This is a great post. How else would I have learned about this fair city?


Posted by: crocodilopolitan | Link to this comment | 06-16-08 8:59 PM
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This is a great post.

That's what I'm talking about, yo. Listen to crocodilopolitan, y'all.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 06-16-08 9:00 PM
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Haven't you lot ever made bannock over a fire? With fresh jam that's better than, well, just about anything.


Posted by: soup biscuit | Link to this comment | 06-16-08 9:01 PM
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105: Thereabouts. Which if you had read and clicked through towards the end of the High School thread you would have discovered. Not that I mind.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 06-16-08 9:03 PM
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108: we're not all scottish, here.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 06-16-08 9:04 PM
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104, 98: Sheesh. Pathetic. I bet they don't know what a switchblade swiss army knife is.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 06-16-08 9:05 PM
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110: we're not all scottish, here.

Only where it counts.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 06-16-08 9:05 PM
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Haven't you lot ever made bannock over a fire?

Is this yet another Scottish term for beating the shite out of one another?


Posted by: Gonerill | Link to this comment | 06-16-08 9:05 PM
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110: Obviously, but still. Bannock. It's really really good.


Posted by: soup biscuit | Link to this comment | 06-16-08 9:05 PM
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114 to 113.


Posted by: Gonerill | Link to this comment | 06-16-08 9:08 PM
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I'll make bannock over yer "pastry", Gonerill!


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 06-16-08 9:09 PM
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109: I never click through when Apo's around. I'm a delicate flower.


Posted by: Ari | Link to this comment | 06-16-08 9:09 PM
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"Fascisti"

On to "bannock", it is one of those Anglo-Saxon words that calls up absolutely no mental image to someone who has never heard it before. It could be a kind of plant, an office in the Scottish government, a type of fabric, a plot of land, or a verb meaning anything at all.


Posted by: peter | Link to this comment | 06-16-08 9:10 PM
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Turns out normal people call "bannock" "fry bread", and under that name it is indeed delicious.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 06-16-08 9:11 PM
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It's just not camping without a deep fryer.

Sifu Tweety loves to dine out on a certain blue-blooded Boston mystique, and has been very successful at marketing this Yankee brand. When in fact, in some parts of the country he is better known as Fry-Daddy.

Bannock? Well, of course. And I'm not even Scottish, except insofar as I'm Canadian.


Posted by: Mary Catherine | Link to this comment | 06-16-08 9:13 PM
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I think actually that while some people do call fry bread "bannock," it also refers to a flat dense oatcake kind of a thing.


Posted by: redfoxtailshrub | Link to this comment | 06-16-08 9:13 PM
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It's just not camping without a deep fryer.

You need your transfats after a long day of paddling through Class V rapids in a canoe full of ironmongery and gallon tins of Crisco.


Posted by: mcmc | Link to this comment | 06-16-08 9:14 PM
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The cast iron canoe works better if it's lubricated and the walls are less than a millimeter thick. Unless the sun is shining, then it gets uncomfortable.


Posted by: peter | Link to this comment | 06-16-08 9:16 PM
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121: depends who you're asking, according to Wikipedia. Even in Scotland things are, apparently, confused. I wonder if the variously construed bannocks have fiercely allied fans, who do battle in the streets for the greater honor of their chosen bread? Presumably yes.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 06-16-08 9:17 PM
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123: just remember to line your canoe with wonder bread butter side out.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 06-16-08 9:17 PM
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a flat dense oatcake kind of a thing

Which does indeed sound delicious with jam.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 06-16-08 9:18 PM
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That's why I insist in La Creuset canoes.


Posted by: Mo MacArbie | Link to this comment | 06-16-08 9:18 PM
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117: I never click through when Apo's around

Well here's one from our mutual heritage.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 06-16-08 9:20 PM
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128: Dude, you can't trick me into watching Dorothy Fuldheim scat porn. That's just gross.


Posted by: Ari | Link to this comment | 06-16-08 9:24 PM
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My Scottish grandmother made bannocks, and had a special griddle (amusingly called a girdle) for that very purpose. They were pretty much what we in Australia would call pikelets - small sweet pancakes.


Posted by: Nakku | Link to this comment | 06-16-08 9:24 PM
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A little harmless reminiscing about my dead granny, and Unfogged dies. Perhaps it was not meant to live.


Posted by: Nakku | Link to this comment | 06-16-08 9:38 PM
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Nakku, ogged left, and things will probably be a little ragged for a little while.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 06-16-08 9:44 PM
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I mean, it's probably not your granny's fault. Her griddle cakes, that is, bannocks, were presumably wonderful.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 06-16-08 9:47 PM
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131: No, no, Scottish baking is all to the good, and Scottish grannies even better.

As I've probably mentioned before, I used to work at a nursing home where there was this 104-year old Scotland-to-Canada lady who was mostly deaf and mostly blind by the time I ever met her. Whenever I walked into her room, she would say "Oh, is that Mary?" So she left off the other half of my name, but, you know, she was 104 years old and mostly deaf and mostly blind: I never could figure out how she even got the first half of it. She had all these Queen's Jubilee pictures on her wall, and she had once owned a tearoom in Maniwaki. Sharp as a tack, she was, which is how anyone must be who lives to be 104.


Posted by: Mary Catherine | Link to this comment | 06-16-08 9:51 PM
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Without ugged or onf, the very name of the blog is a hollow shell.

Could it be reborn as "Parsimonakku" or something?


Posted by: peter | Link to this comment | 06-16-08 9:51 PM
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Or, I guess, nihilistically, over the cinders of your former home.

If you're willing to burn your home down for the sake of s'mores, that ain't nihilism, honey.

Wouldn't cooking lentils while camping require a lot of water, relative to the amount one would presumably like to carry?


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 06-16-08 9:55 PM
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A lot of the time there is water in the woods already, depending on where you go.


Posted by: peter | Link to this comment | 06-16-08 9:58 PM
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Each moment the new posters remain unintroduced is a moment their thoughts or ideas go unbelittled in the comments.


Posted by: eb | Link to this comment | 06-16-08 9:59 PM
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136: Wouldn't cooking lentils while camping require a lot of water, relative to the amount one would presumably like to carry?

This is wrong in a different way for every kind of camping other than backpacking in the desert.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 06-16-08 9:59 PM
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This is wrong in a different way for every kind of camping other than backpacking in the desert.

As if anything else deserves to be called "camping".


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 06-16-08 10:01 PM
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OT, but I know all y'all are gonna want a pair.


Posted by: Michael | Link to this comment | 06-16-08 10:03 PM
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on topic, to 140, I wouldn't call backpacking "camping".


Posted by: Michael | Link to this comment | 06-16-08 10:05 PM
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Wouldn't cooking lentils while camping require a lot of water, relative to the amount one would presumably like to carry?

I might not do it if I were hiking-camping, having to carry the water. But driving and camping, or in a situation in which I knew I could get fresh water every day or two ... I actually haven't been camping for a few years now, but I seem to think that my rule of thumb was 2 gallons of water per day per person. I may be misremembering?

That works fine for lentils, which really don't soak up that much, don't boil off much water since they don't take long to cook, and so on. I'd set up camp, put them to soak mid-afternoon, and cook them up with added water and various added stuff later. Not really that much water.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 06-16-08 10:10 PM
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Related to 141: I ordered an Obama sock monkey over the weekend; I then corresponded with the proprietor of the company (a very nice and racist Utahn); he promised me that my order would ship today; and then today I got a refund! I shed a tear for my collection of racist camp.


Posted by: ari | Link to this comment | 06-16-08 10:11 PM
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I see I'm partially pwned by some of the references to backpacking.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 06-16-08 10:12 PM
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As if anything else deserves to be called "camping".

Well, "camping" is highly unnatural, of course (see Mr. Knightley in Jane Austen's Emma, objecting to the "naturalness" of al fresco dining) unless you happen to be a voyageur, or some sort of trapper.

And hey! speaking of lentils...did you know the Hudson's Bay trappers used to drink the dregs of pease porridge as a poor substitute for coffee? They didn't even mean to be organic or "whole foods" or anything, that's just all that they had to drink when they were "camping."


Posted by: Mary Catherine | Link to this comment | 06-16-08 10:14 PM
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the dregs of pease porridge
It better have been nine days old! Or everything I learned as a child is a lie.


Posted by: Nakku | Link to this comment | 06-16-08 10:17 PM
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Now all we need is someone to come along and say backpacking is not trekking.


Posted by: eb | Link to this comment | 06-16-08 10:19 PM
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Isn't backpacking what young white people like to do in Europe etc? That's not trekking.


Posted by: Nakku | Link to this comment | 06-16-08 10:22 PM
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147: Pease porridge hot/Pease porridge cold/Pease porridge in the pot/Nine days old.

Of course! No worries.


Posted by: Mary Catherine | Link to this comment | 06-16-08 10:22 PM
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I hope Ben will explain his 140.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 06-16-08 10:23 PM
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"Backpacking" apparently means different things in different contexts.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 06-16-08 10:24 PM
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I hope Ben will explain his 140.

What's to explain?


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 06-16-08 10:24 PM
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Backpacking is how white people get to racist camp.


Posted by: Nakku | Link to this comment | 06-16-08 10:25 PM
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In observance of National Aboriginal Day afew years back (coming up June 21st) the BC Forestry Service prepared this site on Bannock Awareness as a bridge between cultures (includes a number of different bannock and bannockyt recipes).

1. First Nations and non-First Nations people are here to stay and;
2. Both parties prefer negotiation to litigation or confrontation. We can do our children a favour by learning about the history of the current conflict over rights to the land and celebrating some of our common interests, such as the love of a freshly deep-fried piece of bannock.

Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 06-16-08 10:26 PM
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used to drink the dregs of pease porridge as a poor substitute for coffee

Yeah, I wouldn't throw that stuff away, if seeking something a step up from water -- hard to keep it from going bad pretty quick anyway. Use it or toss it, pretty much.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 06-16-08 10:29 PM
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Voluntarily, even eagerly, challenging oneself against the elements is SWPL, for real. Formerly, you built a cabin to defend yourself against those elements, all defensively-like, and always had a shotgun at the ready.


Posted by: Mary Catherine | Link to this comment | 06-16-08 10:30 PM
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That's not how you make Navajo fry bread at all.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 06-16-08 10:31 PM
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What's to explain?

Ben seemed to suggest that nothing short of backpacking (in the desert, even) counted as camping. This just puzzles me. I don't have a big stake in it; what you do when you're setting up camp in the forest for several days or a week is very different from what you do when you're backpacking.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 06-16-08 10:32 PM
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155: Sounds like Canadian bannock is both damper and bush bread.


Posted by: Nakku | Link to this comment | 06-16-08 10:32 PM
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159: He's a White Person, if that helps.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 06-16-08 10:34 PM
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That's not how you make Navajo fry bread at all.

So, how do you make Navajo fry bread, teo?


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 06-16-08 10:34 PM
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Also, "backpacking" and "setting up camp in the forest for several days or a week" are not mutually exclusive.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 06-16-08 10:35 PM
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So, how do you make Navajo fry bread, teo?

With Bluebird flour and Snowcap lard, of course. It's pretty simple.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 06-16-08 10:35 PM
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I suspect ben is making a joke.

I wouldn't want to cook lentils while camping because boiling water would be a pain over a fire or a portable stove, and lentils always seem to take a long time simmering to get done over a regular stove.


Posted by: Cala | Link to this comment | 06-16-08 10:36 PM
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165.1: Ben knows just where my gullible points are.

165.2: This confuses me. Lentils take like 20 minutes, max, on the stove, certainly if you've soaked them. Over a portable stove, should be roughly the same -- a propane stove, right? Over a fire, a little more challenging, with the attention needed to when you put it on, whether the fire is a nice hot blue, or a dirty yellow.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 06-16-08 10:52 PM
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I suspect cala is making a joke.


Posted by: Gonerill | Link to this comment | 06-16-08 10:58 PM
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158: That's not how you make Navajo fry bread at all.

Not wishing to doubt your insider Knowledge here Ben Jr., but recipes I am finding all seem to be variants of the one on the linked page.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 06-16-08 10:58 PM
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I suspect this blog is making a joke.


Posted by: eb | Link to this comment | 06-16-08 11:03 PM
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48: Everybody dress in your personal style, and then we'll plan some activities around the bonfire, so everybody can have fun.

"Kumbaya" is going to be the new comity on the post-ogged Unfogged. (If we ever reach it again.)


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 06-16-08 11:04 PM
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167: I don't believe you.

y'all, this blog is no worse than it has been. Chill out.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 06-16-08 11:11 PM
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Not wishing to doubt your insider Knowledge here Ben Jr., but recipes I am finding all seem to be variants of the one on the linked page.

The main concerns I have with the recipe are the use of oil rather than lard and the addition of milk to the recipe. The latter may just be my lack of detailed knowledge, but I'm quite sure about the former.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 06-16-08 11:22 PM
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Okay.

157: Voluntarily, even eagerly, challenging oneself against the elements is SWPL, for real.

Oh, Mary Catherine. This is so wrong.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 06-16-08 11:32 PM
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On the contrary, parsimon. Such things are charming and fun now that they're wholly optional.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 06-16-08 11:45 PM
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I thought that thread also discussed chicken-keeping, but I guess not.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 06-16-08 11:48 PM
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We can discuss chicken-keeping now, if you'd like.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 06-16-08 11:55 PM
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Nah.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 06-16-08 11:55 PM
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Er. Ben, good point I expect. All depends on the referent for "oneself" I guess.

I don't think I've seen that thread before and am disinclined to read it at the moment. The quick skim gave me a bad taste.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 06-16-08 11:56 PM
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Is it possible to keep chickens before they're hatched?


Posted by: eb | Link to this comment | 06-17-08 12:01 AM
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The quick skim gave me a bad taste.

Well, that's bizarre.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 06-17-08 12:16 AM
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Lentils are bad camping food because a sleeping bag is the absolute worst possible place to fart.


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 06-17-08 12:38 AM
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Why carry your own water when backpacking? Propane bottles and iodine tablets are enough. But anybody wanting to lose weight should try it. A week long trek will do much more for you than a long diet. Horrible freeze dried food plus tons of exercise equals the transformation of any fat you might have into muscle.


Posted by: tkm | Link to this comment | 06-17-08 12:40 AM
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Well, that's bizarre.

I am on to you, dumbass.

It was all about how making your own jam would cause you to be disowned, or however that went. Stupid. Don't make me talk about the difference, if any, between persons on-blog and off-blog. Why this blog feels a stake regarding SWPL escapes me.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 06-17-08 12:42 AM
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TO THE RAMPARTS WE MUST DEFEND SWPL!!!


Posted by: OPINIONATED ALAMEIDA | Link to this comment | 06-17-08 6:59 AM
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157: Voluntarily, even eagerly, challenging oneself against the elements is SWPL, for real.

When I go out to the woods, I go to a friend's fully-heated cabin with cable and running water and we drink beer and go jumping off the docks and stuff. I'm pleased to note this is the Afrocentric camping option.


Posted by: DS | Link to this comment | 06-17-08 7:13 AM
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185: But do you bring lentils?


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 06-17-08 7:15 AM
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Sometimes.


Posted by: DS | Link to this comment | 06-17-08 7:18 AM
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181: Yeah, well, you know, that's just, like, your opinion, man.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 06-17-08 7:22 AM
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About the title of the post, I am not looking forward to the day when they find Ogged's emaciated author function decomposing at the bottom of some broken-down Washington Monthly thread. But we should all prepare ourselves for that anyhow.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 06-17-08 10:24 AM
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Best wishes, ogged, you lousy quitter.


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 06-17-08 8:41 PM
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M/tch!


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 06-17-08 8:45 PM
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When I go out to the woods, I go to a friend's fully-heated cabin with cable

At what point do you not get to call it a "cabin"?


Posted by: gswift | Link to this comment | 06-17-08 8:50 PM
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When white people move in next door. Then it starts gentrifying.


Posted by: Cala | Link to this comment | 06-17-08 9:01 PM
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When it stops having some visible wood on it.


Posted by: Fatman | Link to this comment | 06-17-08 9:01 PM
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185: Goddamnit, you people get all the good stuff.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 06-17-08 9:03 PM
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