If I could use a rusty boxcutter to carve a new orifice in my body that's compatible with this link cable, I would already be doing it.

Is it bad that my first thought was 'he'd probably have more luck with a scalpel, I wonder why he ruled that out'?

I take my listening as seriously as I take my playing, so I'm willing to pay for clean, vibrant sound.

You wrote this on purpose to sound toolish, right?

A caution to people buying these: if you do not follow the "directional markings" on the cables, your music will play backwards.

That's a funny review.

B the post makes more sense if you follow the links.

It's like you don't even care about cable directionality. "Ooh, tinny, incomplete sound is fine here in Santa Barbara. We don't need $500 ethernet cables."

I know your type.

B, if you think it's ok to go through life with bad cables, there's just nothing I can say.

Marked down 1 star because it still won't let you do the Kessel run in less than 12 parsecs.

Kevin Murphy is a Phenomenauts fan!

I'm not in SB, I'm in its downmarket neighbor to the south. Also, my man takes care of purchasing all the expensive cables and crap, because that kind of thing is a man's job. I content myself with bitching at him about how the various nests of cables are all eyesorey.

The first time I downloaded a picture to the printer over this cable, the bits moved so fast the printer collapsed into a naked singularity, right there in my office.

Since then, I can't find the cat, and my entire set of VAX/VMS 4.7 documentation (DEC Will Rise Again!) (Mmmmm, orangey!) has gone missing.

Sure the music sounds awesome through these cables but due to an extremely low common mode rejection ration, my neighbors fluorescent lights set up a standing wave in my rack that opened a mobius loop in my basement. In short... I love the transparency they have added to my system but could live without the unwanted sleastacks that crawled through the time/space rip. Thanks Denon! See you in hell.

It's clear your heart's in the right place, Labs, but we all know that even the finest cable will suffer from oxygen contamination, skin effects and thetan infestation. What you need, my friend, are tiny rocks.

Tin alloy!

You know, B, I thought you of all people would understand the need to hear "a different voice" as clearly as possible.

All right, I followed the link, and I have only one thing to say.

I hate you all.

It's a little disconcerting that all those amazon.com reviewers are so much funnier than we are.

I must say I'm somewhat troubled. I see this review and I think maybe I shouldn't be using this in my car, but if I get such a huge horsepower boost from my SHAKTI, it seems like, you know, why do things at all if you aren't going to do them right?

14: Only on this topic, Brock. We're way funnier when it comes to carp.

<Hijack>
Offtopic: You're all invited to a blogwarming party.

I have just started a modest new music blog. The goal is to see if I can find any way to write about my musical tastes that is helpful to anyone else, along with passing along music I like.

There is a slightly longer statement of goals in the first post.

Stop on by if you're so inclined.
</Hijack>

Given the nature of audiophiles to carp unmercifully at the pretensions of having achieved the state of the art (S.O.T.A.), one cannot help but wonder why such savvy manufacturers as Wisdom Audio Corporation, Jeff Rowland Design Group, Synergistic Research and Accuphase Digital would stick their collective necks out... again.

Sifu, help me understand: Denon is serious but SHAKTI is intended as a joke, right?

19: I wish it were so. Even the brilliant pebbles linked above are real, although I haven't seen specific horsepower figures on those.

Damn, I'm buying one. Will it work on my bicycle?

Machina Dynamics is pretty gold, though:

Machina Dynamica's Nimbus Sub-Hertz Platform is a unique, 6 degree-of-freedom isolation device with extremely low resonant frequencies - as low as 0.5 Hz. Nimbus is capable of not only isolating the component from "large-scale effects" such as footfalls and traffic-generated vibration that might cause a stylus to jump out of the record groove, but of improving analog and digital playback well beyond expectation - even in the absence of footfalls and traffic. Nimbus' sonic performance in the absence of large scale effects illustrates the profound impact of the Earth's crust movement, frequently ignored, or at least trivialized, on sound quality. Nimbus' unusual design characteristics are examined in the following paragraphs.

21: how can it not?

Six degrees of freedom aren't free, Sifu.

the unwanted sleastacks that crawled through the time/space rip

Omigod NO. I am terrified of sleastacks.

25: sheesh, fine, I'll stick with the resonance absorbing balls.

And just below the balls, a hi-fi prostate stimulator! Sifu, you know all the best places to get gear.

27: gotta keep the cable off the carpet somehow.

I break from this thread's irony to say: holy fuck! $100 for devices to *keep your speaker cable off the carpet*. Wow!

Amazing:

The consumer is instructed to manipulate the component until each ball is centered in its saucer. Easier said than done. With the RAB combo under the CDP, the saucers leaned in several directions. Centering the "US made precision [balls of] pendula wood" appeared hopeless, and after about ten minutes I gave up fussing.

I keep thinking of the narrator from RHPS: "Heavy, black, and pendulous."

It does seem like the hi-fi industry is one that treats its customers incredibly poorly.

I am occasionally disappointed that home theater has, essentially, taken over the mainstream high-end audio market, but audio manufacturers haven't done themselves any favors by indulging in so much obfuscation and blatant BS.

But, but, you *still* can't fucking vacuum, because now the little cable lifters are in the fucking way. Jesus.

29: well, but you get six of them--how can that not be a deal?

The existence of all these products makes it increasingly likely that someone, somewhere, paid $500 for an ethernet cable.

I am seized by a desire to troll audiophile boards with 'the limiting condition on your experience is the constitution of your eardrums' with either a link to new, improved eardrum implants or snarkily pointing out that chances are they're tone deaf.

35: I am aware of all audiophile technologies, thank you. I have had my eardrums wrapped in optically phase-induced tri-wool resonance-absorbing stasis mats. Needless to say somebody with your level of philistinism would mistake them for earmuffs.

I keep thinking of the narrator from RHPS: "Heavy, black, and pendulous."

Red Hot...Pepper...Society

Royal...Horse...Protection Society

Red Fox Tail Shrub

Real...Heavy...Personal Space

Far Out Space Nuts

Oh, I had to google "RHPS" to figure it out.

Electrical engineers will appreciate the difficulty of nubbing together a regurgitative purwell and a supramitive wennelsprock. Indeed, this proved to be a stumbling block to further development until, in 1992, it was found that the use of anhydrous nangling pins enabled a kryptonastic boiling shim to the tankered. Spooling of the reframublant diaphanator became possible, allowing for cromulence.

38: This should make everything clear.

'the limiting condition on your experience is the constitution of your eardrums'

To be fair, it's generally pretty easy to tell the difference between a recording and, as Flanders and Swann put it, "an orchestra actually playing in your sitting room." Suggesting that the eardrums are not the limiting factor.

I blush to admit it but I've had great luck with cables from Amazon at the other end of the spectrum -- $1.98 for an HDMI cable plus $5 shipping or so. But then my eardrums are probably about as sensitive as wooden nickles.

Check out Audioadvisor.com for good cables.

But the sad truth is that MP3s always will sound bad, and may even sound worse as you get a better system.

I can't understand how you'd be this foolish, Labs. Cables made by another's hands? If you didn't melt, smelt, mold and crimp them yourself then you might as well just drive an icepick into each ear and be done with it.

MP3s always sound bad

... isn't a good summary. The important parts are firstly, if you have a crappy system/headphones it really doesn't matter. If you aren't in that situation, the mp3 encoder matters a lot. Assuming you're using a good one (e.g. lame), mp3s sound increasingly good with bitrate, up to the point where they are hard to distinguish from the original but also roughly the same size, so why bother. Oh, and type of input matters, too.

40: but for the orchestra in your sitting room, aren't you relying on other senses? Even with your eyes closed, you feel the air pressure on your face and chest, rather than just through the headphones. The room is a bit more humid than it is when it is just you and the missus. You can hear the creaking of the floorboards and all that other barely perceptible stuff that the lizard brain recognizes as signs of potential predators.

And you can hit on the cute musicians.

re: 45

The Nattar-G Aural Sensulizer can add those sensations back in. It might look like a cardboard box filled with sand and a couple of gold plated coat-hangers sticking out, but, for a mere $2000 you'll swear you can feel sensations you never felt before.

This is so last week.

This is unfogged, Gonerill. It's always last week.

Neil Young has been on about this for awhile. I think he's releasing a limited edition new box set which is just him, in a box.

48, 49: Last week is the new September.

I have at least 5 wav/flac versions of Moody Blues Days of Future Passed. Not because of the music, but because it was originally recorded using SOTA-67 classical studio techniques. There's the Japan pressing, the Dutch thick vinyl, the 24-bit, and two remasters because the original mixing was imperfect. Most of them came with wave charts showing their superiority. I can hear the differences, but can't decide if I like the good voice weak guitar mixes, the snares out front, or the one with maxed dynamic range. Mixing and mastering is an art, not a science. I have spent hours listening to one song.

And that's before it hits the hardware.

And that reminds me:

How does this crowd feel about 24-bit dithering, and how the f should I set me replay gain?

The Moody Blues are in a category with Pink Floyd as aging stoner music. The Dark Side of the Moon was on the charts continually for over a decade because almost a hundred thousand people played it 24/7 and bought new vinyl several times a year.

How does this crowd feel about 24-bit dithering

If we didn't feel good about dithering, we wouldn't be here.

54:I agree, and I try to stay young and vibrant by changing my music constantly. Currently listening to Merle Haggard & lots of contemporary but not progressive bluegrass (Tony Trischtka....yeccch), Hank Williams Senior, John Martyn, and Eliza Gilkyson.

I am hearing a lot about Jesus, and kinda liking it. I may start evangelizing the blog soon. I am a protean troll.

Another thing that improves the relative quality of MP3s with respect to the audiophile stuff is permanent ear damage.

I don't listen to recorded music other than mp3s.

57: WHAT??

The relative in 57 is important.

The relative in 57 is important.

EH?