Re: I'm voting for McCain

1

Because invading Cuba worked out so well last time.


Posted by: SEK | Link to this comment | 06-26-08 6:00 PM
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McCain's just trolling Emerson.


Posted by: ari | Link to this comment | 06-26-08 6:01 PM
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Labs, you lazy bum, they have code you could have copied and pasted to imbed the game itself in your post, so we wouldn't have to go to McCain's site to play it.


Posted by: Brock Landers | Link to this comment | 06-26-08 6:02 PM
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Unfogged, Edge, ucdlib on the Bookmarks Toolbar. Is this Ari or Eric's computer? Is FL really Ari?


Posted by: Otto von Bisquick | Link to this comment | 06-26-08 6:14 PM
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5

Could be anyone.


Posted by: Eric | Link to this comment | 06-26-08 6:25 PM
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5: That's not exactly a denial...


Posted by: Josh | Link to this comment | 06-26-08 6:32 PM
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7

That sounds vaguely porkographic.


Posted by: SP | Link to this comment | 06-26-08 6:38 PM
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8

4: More importantly, what's Labs's WordPress blog?


Posted by: mrh | Link to this comment | 06-26-08 6:48 PM
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9

Speaking of campaign websites, does anyone know anything about the Obama umbrella? I need one and am thinking of buying it. I'm okay with it being priced a bit above market (it's basically a campaign donation, right?), but don't want it to be a piece of crap.


Posted by: Brock Landers | Link to this comment | 06-26-08 6:50 PM
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10

It's disappointing that there is no JohnMcCain.com Edition for "Opponent".


Posted by: Otto von Bisquick | Link to this comment | 06-26-08 6:51 PM
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I am Fontana Labs!


Posted by: Spartacus | Link to this comment | 06-26-08 6:54 PM
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12

Ooh, when you beat a level it gives you information about the candidates' records on pork barrel spending. It says Obama has "tried to spend hundreds of millions of your money on his pet projects." I have hundreds of millions of dollars? I had no idea!


Posted by: Otto von Bisquick | Link to this comment | 06-26-08 6:56 PM
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See, Otto, you're not only blessed with uncanny detective skillz but also a trust fund that would make Cindy McCain sit up and take notice.


Posted by: ari | Link to this comment | 06-26-08 7:04 PM
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14

Look, I can tell you now that anyone who can't decide between McCain and Obama isn't going to his freakin' website and playing some stupid game which will convince her or him one way or another.

Prove me wrong!

Such people aren't going to his freakin' website at all. Surely.

This is just idiotic.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 06-26-08 7:04 PM
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No parsimon, you're right--undecided voters by and large aren't going to his website at all. That's why the site includes easy instructions for embedding the game on other sites, and encourages supporters to do so. It's called viral marketing, I think.

(Of course, if they wanted to pick up some fence-sitters, they should have considered making a game that wasn't so slow and deadly-dull. Unless this is beign targeted specifically at the retiree-gamer crowd.)


Posted by: Brock Landers | Link to this comment | 06-26-08 7:14 PM
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Such people aren't going to his freakin' website at all. Surely.

I dunno, parsimon, I think there's a lot of research out there that say that low-information voters make decisions based on what their trusted friends tell them. I can absolutely think of a few folks of my acquaintance who would be taken with McCain's game if someone forwarded it in e-mail, and who would talk about it to their [low-voting-information] circle, thus raising awareness/popularity of McCain.

I wish I were joking.


Posted by: Witt | Link to this comment | 06-26-08 7:16 PM
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Oh, I'm just momentarily frothing over the fact that it's targeted to the media (of many sorts), that dissemination of such idiocy is key. We, collectively, as voters, are very stupid.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 06-26-08 7:19 PM
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18

Bah, pwned by Brock.


Posted by: Witt | Link to this comment | 06-26-08 7:20 PM
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19

I just had a fun time talking to a VFW Korean War vet Democrat who hates Republicans.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 06-26-08 7:20 PM
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folks of my acquaintance who would be taken with McCain's game

Really, Witt? Did you play it? I thought the game was a good idea at first, for the reasons you state. But it's about a dozen times more boring that those hit-the-pitch advertisements you see all the time on espn.com. It's terrible.


Posted by: Brock Landers | Link to this comment | 06-26-08 7:20 PM
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17 was to 15, but echoes 16, albeit in less measured tones.

I have just spent a week among extraordinarily low-information people. I'm still in shock.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 06-26-08 7:22 PM
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No, I didn't play it. I should have said "Would be taken with a fun, well-designed game". Guilty of having assumed technical competence on the part of McCain's staff!

Hang in there, parsimon. Culture shock is really jarring sometimes.


Posted by: Witt | Link to this comment | 06-26-08 7:26 PM
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23

I don't understand what the pigs in the game are firing at McCain's logo. Arrows? Are these supposed to be Native American pigs? This is clearly racist.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 06-26-08 7:28 PM
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Seriously, this is pissing me off. Why does the geriatric candidate create a slow and boring video game? If they gave a shit about winning elections they have a simple action-adventure style game with McCain as the hero breaking out of a POW camp in Vietnam. The campier the better. That's the kind of shit people go for, and that the image he desperately wants to project.

They should also have another video game that's a bowling game with Obama as the hero, except the ball spins wildly off into the gutter every time and you end up with scores in the 40s.


Posted by: Brock Landers | Link to this comment | 06-26-08 7:29 PM
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I don't understand what the pigs in the game are firing at McCain's logo.

Bombs made of distinct, separated flasks of hate and fear. On impact an alchemical reaction causes them to form a combustible variety of freedom, just like in Die Hard III.


Posted by: Robust McManlyPants | Link to this comment | 06-26-08 7:32 PM
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26

Why does the geriatric candidate create a slow and boring video game?

Wasn't there some news story recently about McCain never having used e-mail? I can't turn it up.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 06-26-08 7:32 PM
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26: well, yes, but I'm assuming he didn't program the game himself.


Posted by: Brock Landers | Link to this comment | 06-26-08 7:35 PM
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22: Ah, it's not exactly jarring, as these are my extended family. I am familiar with their ways. We swipple types are so out of touch. B. said something in another thread today wondering how any American could not know a Filipino. Oh, dear. Yes, I understand the remark was intentionally provocative. Still. Clueless.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 06-26-08 7:35 PM
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well, yes, but I'm assuming he didn't program the game himself.

Right, but you'd think they'd try to avoid any more indications that the campaign is out of touch with technology like, say, a stupid, slow-moving video game that was surpassed by Atari over 20 years ago.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 06-26-08 7:37 PM
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30

Wait, that was my point. Why are we arguing?


Posted by: Brock Landers | Link to this comment | 06-26-08 7:39 PM
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31

"Pork Invaders."

Not a euphemism (Where have you gone, Ogged Maggio, a nation turns its lonely eyes to you!).

a trust fund that would make Cindy McCain sit up and take notice.

You mean Botoxia, the Princess with a Rictus™? Srsly, what are the odds that a sudden attempt at a change of expression will cause her entire face to flake off, revealing the gleaming Terminator skull beneath?


Posted by: Dr Paisley | Link to this comment | 06-26-08 7:40 PM
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32

And here's the article you were looking for.


Posted by: Brock Landers | Link to this comment | 06-26-08 7:42 PM
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33

32 to 26.


Posted by: Brock Landers | Link to this comment | 06-26-08 7:42 PM
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34

Why are we arguing?

Apparently, we aren't. Instant comity!


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 06-26-08 7:44 PM
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35

9: does anyone know anything about the Obama umbrella

Union made, bro. That thing'll get you through a damn hurricaine.


Posted by: Sir Kraab | Link to this comment | 06-26-08 7:51 PM
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The game gets faster if you get to higher levels. The pigs start shitting lightning bolts in addition to arrows. Apparently the designers didn't think anyone would play that much because there are only four different fact screens that can appear after a level, the fourth of which has nothing to do with the budget but is instead about how Obama will talk to America hating ferriners but not Petraeus. After the fourth level it just shows the same fact over and over again. Also, the game is ironically quite accurate- I got to 16600 million dollars saved, which really is on the order of the amount of pork estimated to be in the budget- about 0.5% of total spending.


Posted by: SP | Link to this comment | 06-26-08 7:52 PM
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32: Thanks for the link, Brock. That's exactly the story. Quote:

"John McCain is aware of the Internet," says Soohoo.

Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 06-26-08 7:58 PM
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21: I have just spent a week among extraordinarily low-information people. I'm still in shock.

Actually I rather like the new bloggers.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 06-26-08 8:12 PM
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39

Ah, Stormcrow, you're a blessing.

Actually I rather miss ogged, but it's the way of things.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 06-26-08 8:16 PM
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I like the new bloggers and miss Ogged. Is such a thing even possible? [/sincerity]


Posted by: ari | Link to this comment | 06-26-08 8:19 PM
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Mindmeld you, Ari. And Labs & Brock remind me of Hope & Crosby (or at least, what my, errr, grandparents told me of Hope & Crosby)....


Posted by: bill | Link to this comment | 06-26-08 8:30 PM
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40: Me too. I was just sitting here thinking, wow, ogged was like, the troll of love.


Posted by: Blume | Link to this comment | 06-26-08 8:31 PM
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43

42: Let's not go overboard.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 06-26-08 8:33 PM
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44

B. said something in another thread today wondering how any American could not know a Filipino. Oh, dear. Yes, I understand the remark was intentionally provocative. Still. Clueless.

"But I don't know a single person who doesn't know a Filipino!"


Posted by: TJ | Link to this comment | 06-26-08 8:35 PM
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45

Eh, you know, absence makes the heart bla bla bla. Plus I'm half Becks-style.


Posted by: Blume | Link to this comment | 06-26-08 8:36 PM
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OT: Perhaps this is of interest to some: swimming holes.

I haven't looked around it in detail, but it's a nice idea, in the spirit of love and half Becks-style.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 06-26-08 8:39 PM
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action-adventure style game with McCain as the hero breaking out of a POW camp

To get past Level 4, you have to tear off your broken arm and club the VC guards to death with it.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 06-26-08 8:40 PM
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48

Ayveq the masturbating walrus has died.


Posted by: togolosh | Link to this comment | 06-26-08 8:43 PM
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49

39-43: I see trees of green......... red roses too
I see em bloom..... for me and for you
And I think to myself.... what a wonderful world.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 06-26-08 8:48 PM
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50

No more masturbating to the masturbating walrus. And only 14. Why, that's the very beginning of most masturbation careers.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 06-26-08 8:52 PM
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44: Amazingly enough, there are a ton of low-information voters, aka stupid people, who know Filipinos. Some of them even *are* Filipinos.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 06-26-08 8:52 PM
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wondering how any American could not know a Filipino

This does not bring glory to my fair city, but there are probably a couple hundred Filipinos here, tops.

But my first BF as a child was Filipino, so I figure I'm covered for life.

What the hell kind of name is Hernani, anyway? I mean, other than Filipino.


Posted by: JRoth | Link to this comment | 06-26-08 8:53 PM
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50: I can't believe Apo got pwned on that.

Obama must truly be the Antichrist - see these signs and wonders!


Posted by: JRoth | Link to this comment | 06-26-08 8:54 PM
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54

Amazingly enough, there are a ton of low-information voters, aka stupid people, who know Filipinos. Some of them even *are* Filipinos.

I fail to understand how this addresses parsimon's comment.


Posted by: Blume | Link to this comment | 06-26-08 8:58 PM
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The population of Winnipeg, the coldest city in the world outside Mongolia and Siberia, is 5.9% Filipino (38,155 total).

Suck on that, President Bush!

And you too, Unfoggetarian motherfuckers!


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 06-26-08 9:01 PM
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56

That's okay, don't feel bad.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 06-26-08 9:01 PM
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57

(56 to 54)


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 06-26-08 9:03 PM
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58

B if you can't get a really good troll going, well, that's a shame, but start in with pointless, incomprehensible hostility and soon enough you'll be falling off your barstool and yelling at the floor and so on, and nobody needs that.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 06-26-08 9:04 PM
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59

Great, now I'm drunkenly sobbing. Thanks a lot, Bitch.


Posted by: Blume | Link to this comment | 06-26-08 9:04 PM
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You can maybe -- maybe -- call Winnipeg a "city", but I still maintain it's not a major city. Canada only has like 3 or maybe 4 of those at the most.

Minneapolis: Objectively still colder. (Except when it's hot.)


Posted by: minneapolitan | Link to this comment | 06-26-08 9:04 PM
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61

But are there any Filipinos living in Minneapolis?


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 06-26-08 9:06 PM
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62

59 has to be a joke, 58 notwithstanding. Right?


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 06-26-08 9:07 PM
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63

Nah I just called her and she's throwing plates and breaking windows and so on.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 06-26-08 9:09 PM
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I can't believe Apo got pwned on that.

I was responding to 48, actually.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 06-26-08 9:10 PM
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Jesus, Winnipeg's weather is amazing. It's gone below freezing in every month except July and August, and it came within 2 degrees during those months. The high temperature is 105 F. March ranges from -36 F to 76 F.

In every respect superior to Minneapolis, including Filipinos.

Minneapolis has Somalis and Hmong, but relatively few Filipinos.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 06-26-08 9:11 PM
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66

62: Just a lot going on right now, you know?


Posted by: Blume | Link to this comment | 06-26-08 9:12 PM
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67

And then on top of it all, ogged goes and leaves us...


Posted by: Blume | Link to this comment | 06-26-08 9:13 PM
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68

Don't worry B, I'll slap her happy.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 06-26-08 9:14 PM
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And my boyfriend's been beating me... [sniffle]


Posted by: Blume | Link to this comment | 06-26-08 9:15 PM
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70

Pointless incomprehensible hostility can be good or bad. People forget that.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 06-26-08 9:16 PM
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70:Fuck you, John, I forget nothing.


Posted by: bob mcmanus | Link to this comment | 06-26-08 9:19 PM
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66: Um, wow. I'm sorry. Feel better.

Tweety, why don't you go be nice to your girlfriend or something?


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 06-26-08 9:19 PM
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73

I was talking to Stras.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 06-26-08 9:19 PM
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74

And they shot that second polar bear in Iceland...


Posted by: Blume | Link to this comment | 06-26-08 9:22 PM
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75

And we're barreling toward peak oil...


Posted by: Blume | Link to this comment | 06-26-08 9:22 PM
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63: Yeah, but has she gotten to the point of *de*taching things from walls?


Posted by: Josh | Link to this comment | 06-26-08 9:24 PM
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77

And the masturbating walrus is dead!


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 06-26-08 9:24 PM
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76: she's attaching things to walls with great gusts of emotion.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 06-26-08 9:25 PM
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Winnipeg has a very large first nation population, something of a ghetto, with a big gang problem.


Posted by: I don't pay | Link to this comment | 06-26-08 9:25 PM
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80

And then there's this.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 06-26-08 9:26 PM
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76: she's attaching things to walls with great gusts of emotion.

Cardigans! Cookbooks! Recliners!


Posted by: Blume | Link to this comment | 06-26-08 9:29 PM
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80: Awwww....


Posted by: Di Kotimy | Link to this comment | 06-26-08 9:32 PM
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83

John McCain is aware of all internet traditions.


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 06-26-08 9:50 PM
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Saw Sen. Stevens (R-AK) at a reception recently. He made a reasonably self-deprecating reference to his "Internet is tubes" thing -- that was a while ago so he must get reminded about it a lot.


Posted by: bill | Link to this comment | 06-26-08 9:55 PM
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85

Or he's just now hearing about it.


Posted by: feldspar | Link to this comment | 06-26-08 10:18 PM
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86

Does 45 make you Die blaue Blume, Blume? Okay, that was lame.


Posted by: Tiny Hermaphrodite | Link to this comment | 06-26-08 11:38 PM
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There are bad times just around the corner,
There are storm clouds hurtling through the sky,
And it's no use whining
About a silver lining
When we know from experience that they won't roll by.


Posted by: Noel Coward | Link to this comment | 06-27-08 1:00 AM
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That's funny that McCain's website has convinced Labs to switch his vote in favor of McCain, since this pro-Obama site has just convinced me to pull the lever for Obama. And that's not a euphemism.


Posted by: Gaijin Biker | Link to this comment | 06-27-08 5:03 AM
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And my boyfriend's been beating me... [sniffle]

It's the predictable consequence of all that violent, misogynistic trash that those people call music.


Posted by: Knecht Ruprecht | Link to this comment | 06-27-08 6:10 AM
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90

Why does John McCain turn into a sparkling pile of golden turd when he's hit by a pig?


Posted by: tiny emperor | Link to this comment | 06-27-08 7:16 AM
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wondering how any American could not know a Filipino live without big, steaming bowls of pancit.

Mmmm, pancit.


Posted by: Populuxe | Link to this comment | 06-27-08 7:42 AM
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88: all right, unfogged gals, who is going to be the first to write "Be disappointed by someone new. Obama '08" on your tatas and post a picture on boobsforbarack.com?


Posted by: Knecht Ruprecht | Link to this comment | 06-27-08 8:10 AM
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92: Did you read the fine print? They might put your picture up, too, KR.


Posted by: soup biscuit | Link to this comment | 06-27-08 8:29 AM
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93: that would be on "mycock4mccain.com"


Posted by: KR | Link to this comment | 06-27-08 10:19 AM
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95

Such assholes, these two.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 06-27-08 11:03 AM
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Holy fucking shit does David Addington need to be assassinated.

Anti-American fuckhead.


Posted by: JRoth | Link to this comment | 06-27-08 11:41 AM
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97

He couldn't even give a straight answer to "Would it be legal to torture a detainee's child?"?! Jeebus.


Posted by: Brock Landers | Link to this comment | 06-27-08 11:53 AM
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All decent people should shun Addington and Yoo.


Posted by: TJ | Link to this comment | 06-27-08 11:53 AM
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99

And how the hell does Yoo still have a job?


Posted by: Brock Landers | Link to this comment | 06-27-08 11:57 AM
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100

They are, however, the very embodiment of this administration. In a fair world, they would never be able to leave their houses for fear of being ripped to shreds by howling crowds.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 06-27-08 11:57 AM
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But it's not a fair world, so instead I'm left hoping for golf ball-sized kidney stones and GI cancer for the lot of them.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 06-27-08 11:59 AM
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99: This is an excellent question that troubles me every night as I go to sleep. I'd like to say: "Rest assured, people are working on it." But I'm not sure that's the case.


Posted by: ari | Link to this comment | 06-27-08 12:04 PM
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I'd like to say: "Rest assured, people are working on it." But I'm not sure that's the case.

GrumbleproceduralliberalismGrumblehallowedhallsofacademeGrumblehogfarmGrumble.


Posted by: JRoth | Link to this comment | 06-27-08 12:13 PM
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103: Yeah, I get that a lot.


Posted by: ari | Link to this comment | 06-27-08 12:17 PM
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does David Addington need to be assassinated

While this has a certain superficial appeal, it would still leave me vaguely dissatisfied. As far as I'm concerned, the only fitting outcome for Addington and Yoo is to swing like Adolf Eichmann.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 06-27-08 12:18 PM
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Please God, make it so.


Posted by: Walt Someguy | Link to this comment | 06-27-08 12:24 PM
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Clearly we need to torture those men in order to get any information out of them.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 06-27-08 1:02 PM
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As far as I'm concerned, the only fitting outcome for Addington and Yoo is to swing like Adolf Eichmann.

I'd like to see the lot of them snatched off the street and shipped to the Hague.


Posted by: Populuxe | Link to this comment | 06-27-08 1:12 PM
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B's got the right idea.

Addington's got three children. But I'm not here to render advice on whether it would be legal to torture them in order to get him to testify to Congress. They have their own lawyers.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 06-27-08 1:13 PM
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Question for the Unfogged legal crowd, woudl Addington be able to get away with his obvious contempt in any court of law setting? I am assuming that in any court of law a judge would not allow his clear contempt (in all senses of the word) for the proceedings to stand unchallenged. (Or am I wrong there.) Absolutely clear who he thinks his real enemies are.

I can't talk to you -- al-Qaeda may watch these meetings—my God, and if they are I'm sure they are cheering that the US Government would end up with such a total a-hole having such power.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 06-27-08 1:52 PM
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And further it is with guys like Addington where the Beltway Kiddie Korps national political press breaks down most egregiously. Just because his straight out lies were obfuscated by his hypertechnical patented conservative manner of evading the plain and simple meaning of his and others words, and since his motherfucking children go to school with some of their motherfucking children he is still fundamentally "good people". Oh, they'll give him some "bad press", but they go nowhere near the scorn the know that he deserves.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 06-27-08 1:59 PM
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112

Oh, wait, *thats* the Addington Napi was talking about yesterday.

It all comes together.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 06-27-08 2:19 PM
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