Re: The internet is for sharing.

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I can't wait to see what fun new recommendations Amazon dishes up for me as a result of my having visited that page of their site.


Posted by: Gaijin Biker | Link to this comment | 06-28-08 5:06 AM
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... said there is no infection and that the problem is with Unfogged on the inside.

This is the beginning of the whisper campaign for the next Alien movie, isn't it.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 06-28-08 7:24 AM
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Unethical shrinkage.


Posted by: Gonerill | Link to this comment | 06-28-08 7:26 AM
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"There is also some minor leakage after I pee for about 10 minutes, but this has gotten better."

And its posted under his real name. Could someone have hijacked his account?


Posted by: rob helpy-chalk | Link to this comment | 06-28-08 8:03 AM
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Could someone have hijacked his account?
No, this is what Web 2.0 is supposed to do. Now this guy will get some super-duper job. And a nice new car. And hott chixx. You'll see.


Posted by: Nakku | Link to this comment | 06-28-08 8:23 AM
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And we call ourselves the rational species.

Oh, wait. It's economists who call us that.


Posted by: /ehj2 | Link to this comment | 06-28-08 9:12 AM
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This is why I furnish my home exclusively with water-based sofas and chairs.


Posted by: Mo MacArbie | Link to this comment | 06-28-08 10:09 AM
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If anything, ten minutes of leakage is too little.


Posted by: F. Winston Codpiece III | Link to this comment | 06-28-08 10:37 AM
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In many cultures leakage is regarded as a compliment to the host, and is virtually obligatory except for those with medical or psychological problems. In one dramatic case a candidate for Prime Minister was rejected because his failure to leak at a certain state occasion was interpreted as a sly insult.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 06-28-08 10:41 AM
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That guy is very dedicated to penis observation and maintenance. Some people are like that with their cars.

In my single days I used to live in fear of this injury . So many women just artlessly bounce away on you like a trampoline when they're in the female-dominant position. I imagined the one slip, the deadly "crack" resounding through the room, and Mr. Happy made sad forever.

Presidential to avoid the next six months of mockery about my fears.


Posted by: James Madison | Link to this comment | 06-28-08 11:00 AM
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"Why are these women always bouncing on my penis?"


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 06-28-08 11:16 AM
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I hear tell there's an ancient Greek, two-word, course of therapy for such afflictions: SLOW SHEEP!

Classyic.


Posted by: Michael | Link to this comment | 06-28-08 11:47 AM
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10: What man didn't recoil in horror while watching Basic Instinct? The deployment of an ice pick was almost a relief.


Posted by: F. Winston Codpiece III | Link to this comment | 06-28-08 11:51 AM
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Eventually it got to where I was trying to break the fucking thing off right inside of me, but it just wouldn't get hard enough to make that happen.


Posted by: Dominant Artless Bouncer | Link to this comment | 06-28-08 11:52 AM
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Amazon: the new Unfogged.


Posted by: bill | Link to this comment | 06-28-08 11:58 AM
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14: "gold-hatted, high-bouncing lover,
I must have you!"


Posted by: Thomas Parke D'Invilliers | Link to this comment | 06-28-08 12:16 PM
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16: Ah Thomas, what I really enjoyed was the acrostic poetry you published under the pseudonym of John Peale Bishop:

A Recollection

Famously she descended, her red hair
Unbound and bronzed by sea-reflections, caught
Crinkled with sea-pearls. The fine slender taut
Knees that let down her feet upon the air,
Young breasts, slim flanks and golden quarries were
Odder than when the young distraught
Unknown Venetian, painting her portrait, thought
He'd not imagined what he painted there.

And I too commerced with that golden cloud:
Lipped her delicious hands and had my ease
Faring fantastically, perversely proud.

All loveliness demands our courtesies.
Since she was dead I praised her as I could
Silently, among the Barberini bees.

--John Peale Bishop


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 06-28-08 12:35 PM
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||
WashPo article about the scotus gun decision
|>


Posted by: | Link to this comment | 06-28-08 1:03 PM
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(added because semi-topical to threads the last few days)


Posted by: soup biscuit | Link to this comment | 06-28-08 1:03 PM
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...and the high-bouncing thread is brought crashing back down to earth.


Posted by: PGD | Link to this comment | 06-28-08 1:06 PM
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I love the Amazon commenters who all think that this poor doofus teenager is a "perv" for humping the couch to get off.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 06-28-08 1:12 PM
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Also, woo link! from Madison's link. Bonus: pictures!!


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 06-28-08 1:13 PM
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From the link in 22:

Erection converts the safe, flaccid penis into a vulnerable organ.

Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 06-28-08 1:18 PM
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23: new roll-over text.


Posted by: soup biscuit | Link to this comment | 06-28-08 1:20 PM
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Stormcrow already posted the first line I was going to post, so I'll pull this Interesting Cultural Difference! instead:

Vigorous sexual intercourse is the main cause of penile fracture in the Western world. ... The majority of cases in the Eastern world are results of patients snapping and kneading of their penis during erection to achieve detumescence.


Posted by: Otto von Bisquick | Link to this comment | 06-28-08 1:24 PM
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Also, pretty impressive that nocturnal erections recovered on the 3rd postop day. Still doesn't make me want to undergo penile fracture, though.


Posted by: Otto von Bisquick | Link to this comment | 06-28-08 1:27 PM
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doesn't make me want to undergo penile fracture


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 06-28-08 2:17 PM
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You know who has a nice butt? Rafael Nadal.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 06-28-08 7:44 PM
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Erection converts the safe, flaccid penis into a vulnerable organ.

What kind of novel do you think would be best served by having this as its first sentence?


Posted by: redfoxtailshrub | Link to this comment | 06-28-08 7:54 PM
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Rafael could probably turn Sir Mix-a-Lot.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 06-28-08 7:56 PM
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29: almost any novel!


Posted by: PGD | Link to this comment | 06-28-08 8:09 PM
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Really? Do men feel vulnerable when erect? I didn't know that.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 06-28-08 8:13 PM
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32: Probably not. But point is, they *should* feel vulnerable, because it could break. When it's flaccid it can only flop around harmlessly.


Posted by: PGD | Link to this comment | 06-28-08 8:17 PM
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PGD, you're not supposed to clue them in.

He was just kidding, parsimon. Men don't feel vulnerable when erect.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 06-28-08 8:23 PM
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Oh. I see.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 06-28-08 8:27 PM
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34: He was just kidding, parsimon. Men don't feel vulnerable when erect.

Except James Madison of course.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 06-28-08 9:09 PM
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If parsimon starts using this new knowledge in a hurtful way, I'm blaming you, PGD.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 06-28-08 9:22 PM
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I recall reading in a book on self-defense, some years ago, that if a man is trying to attack you and has an erection, then in theory the easiest way to, ah, disarm him is get hold of his penis and give it a good firm twist, either direction.

The book didn't mention that this will not of course prevent him from then using other implements, but it would mean he wouldn't be functionally able to use his penis for quite some time, if ever.

I suspect that like most tips it's easier said than done. But worth knowing about, should the opportunity arise, so to speak.


Posted by: Jesurgislac | Link to this comment | 06-29-08 3:01 AM
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The only problem would be if your assailant is a genital-injury fetishist.


Posted by: F. Winston Codpiece III | Link to this comment | 06-29-08 8:05 AM
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WashPo article about the scotus gun decision

I just got back from a week in Idaho, where, needless to say, the scotus decision was popular.

re: the article, Kellermann you wank, at least mention the NAS study which indicates that maybe your case isn't as cut and dry as you proclaim.


Posted by: gswift | Link to this comment | 06-29-08 11:38 AM
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I recall reading in a book on self-defense from my years n the wrestling team, some years ago, that if a man is trying to attack you and has an erection, then in theory the easiest way to, ah, disarm him is get hold of his penis and give it a good firm twist, either direction.


Posted by: gswift | Link to this comment | 06-29-08 11:41 AM
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Idaho, where, needless to say, the scotus decision was popular.

"Popular in Idaho" is not exactly a ringing endorsement of the efficacy of a given policy.


Posted by: politicalfootball | Link to this comment | 06-29-08 12:45 PM
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38: The book didn't mention that this will not of course prevent him from then using other implements, but it would mean he wouldn't be functionally able to use his penis for quite some time, if ever.

This somehow reads like the advice my mom sometimes forwards to me on how to avoid various things. They often seem like overkill.

At any rate, reducing an attacker to blind insensate rage doesn't seem advisable.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 06-29-08 1:32 PM
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It doesn't seem in the least like overkill to permanently damage a rapist's penis. It just seems like probably more difficult to do in the flesh (so to speak) than in theory. It's not as if (under the circumstances) the person doing the twisting need worry that the attacker isn't "really" a rapist: obviously he is, or at least wants to be.

Sure he may be reduced to blind, insensate rage, but he will also be curled up on himself on the floor making screamy sounds of pain, letting his intended victim call the police or just run like hell. If she feels nice, she might call an ambulance as well as the police. Happy ending for everyone except the intended rapist, and who cares about him?


Posted by: Jesurgislac | Link to this comment | 06-30-08 9:20 AM
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38:

Eye gouge with thumbs or hard blow (or grab) to the throat will give you time to escape. If you can get in a serious shot to the midsection aim for the pelvis, between the belly button and groin.

Bear in mind a serious eye gauge may cause blindness, and a serious blow or hard grab to the thorax can kill a person. A serious blow to the pelvis may fracture it, putting a man down for a long time.

But if you are gonna fight then fight hard. That's my opinion.


Posted by: Tripp the Crazed | Link to this comment | 06-30-08 9:23 AM
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43, 44

I poster 45 before seeing 43 and 44.

The point is to incapacitate the attacker enough so one can escape.

If you think a slap to the face will do the trick then do it. In my opinion the penis twist is much less painful and incapacitating then the testicle squeeze, but most guys instinctively protect that area. The methods I gave are the extreme.


Posted by: Tripp the Crazed | Link to this comment | 06-30-08 9:28 AM
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45: Shoot - trachea not thorax. Unless you are being attacked by a giant ant or something.


Posted by: Tripp the Crazed | Link to this comment | 06-30-08 9:35 AM
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45: I rather doubt that most people could break someone else's pelvis with a single blow (unless you're being attacked by a 70-year-old woman or something) - that's a big tough bone, the pelvis.


Posted by: ajay | Link to this comment | 06-30-08 10:45 AM
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but he will also be curled up on himself on the floor making screamy sounds of pain

Fair enough. I've never seen a man wounded in that area, and I thought it possible that the pain would be so much that he'd go berserker before the curling up. But I believe you.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 06-30-08 10:55 AM
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I've never seen a man wounded in that area

America's Funniest Home Videos is on all the time, parsimon.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 06-30-08 11:04 AM
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50: I'm so naive.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 06-30-08 11:40 AM
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If I am ever attacked by a giant ant, I shall definitely try a serious blow to the thorax.


Posted by: Jesurgislac | Link to this comment | 06-30-08 12:31 PM
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If you want to win a fight, don't follow Tripp's advice.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 06-30-08 12:33 PM
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53: Eyes and throat are always at the top of the list, but #3 should be knees or feet. I've never heard a blow to the pelvis suggested, ever.


Posted by: mcmc | Link to this comment | 06-30-08 12:47 PM
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The thing about both the eyes and the throat is that they're really small targets. If you're fighting somebody who's stronger or better trained than you that shit will work for about 10 seconds until you're unconscious.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 06-30-08 12:49 PM
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Also, beware of any fighting school or fighting teacher who says "I'm going to teach you techniques, but because they're so dangerous, we can never do them at full speed or full strength: that would mean instant death!" Over and over again, these people get the crap kicked out of them in actual fights.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 06-30-08 12:50 PM
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Listen to Sifu, people. He learned the truth of 56 the hard way.


Posted by: Walt Someguy | Link to this comment | 06-30-08 12:52 PM
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Eyes and throat are always at the top of the list, but #3 should be knees or feet.

It's "head, shoulders, knees, and toes," isn't it?


Posted by: Populuxe | Link to this comment | 06-30-08 12:59 PM
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55: Smaller targets, but more vulnerable than most other targets, assuming your opponent is bigger and stronger than you. The thing about attacking the throat is if it works, and you crush the person's larynx, your problem is pretty much over. So I'm told. Personally I've never had to fight off an attacker, so it's all theory to me. I have heard, however, that you should be able to take it to the ground, that tae kwon do is for suckers, and that the Gracies are so awesome that you would go blind just looking at them.


Posted by: mcmc | Link to this comment | 06-30-08 1:01 PM
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the Gracies are so awesome that you would go blind just looking at them.

You're confusing BitchPhD, mcmc.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 06-30-08 1:04 PM
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Personally I've never had to fight off an attacker, so it's all theory to me. I have heard, however, that you should be able to take it to the ground, that tae kwon do is for suckers, and that the Gracies are so awesome that you would go blind just looking at them.

Respectively: the problem, sort of true, true, and not really true but they are good fighters.

I mean, if you punch somebody in the back of the skull with something like 25 pounds of pressure you'll kill them. If you rabbit punch them and drive their nose up into their skull you'll kill them. If you punch their chest at exactly the right moment you'll stop their heart. If you grab the last two finger of their arm and twist in just the right way, they'll fall to the ground in extreme pain. The problem with all of these techniques is the same: they require an extraordinary amount of precision and exact timing, and you can't train them at full speed and strength.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 06-30-08 1:05 PM
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If you rabbit punch them and drive their nose up into their skull

I thought a rabbit punch was to the base of the neck.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 06-30-08 1:07 PM
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That little boy in the Formative Experiences thread was so very, very lucky.


Posted by: mcmc | Link to this comment | 06-30-08 1:07 PM
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you can't train them at full speed and strength.

Unless you're willing to change schools a lot.


Posted by: mcmc | Link to this comment | 06-30-08 1:11 PM
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62: lotta ways to kill a rabbit, I guess.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 06-30-08 1:18 PM
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Apo's right.


Posted by: Rabbit | Link to this comment | 06-30-08 1:29 PM
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38: And if he doesn't have an erection go with GTP: grab, twist, pull.


Posted by: Sir Kraab | Link to this comment | 06-30-08 1:34 PM
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61: Check out these people. Given my advanced age, I'll stick with my .45 or preferably the 30-06 at a few hundred yards.


Posted by: Biohazard | Link to this comment | 06-30-08 1:37 PM
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61: I'd guess that "taking it to the ground" is all very well in a controlled environment like, say, MMA, where you're guaranteed to have only one opponent and a sufficiency of time to roll around on the ground with them looking for a submission hold.


Posted by: DS | Link to this comment | 06-30-08 1:38 PM
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69: well, the impetus behind "being able to take it to the ground" is that most fights end up on the ground anyhow, so understanding what to do while you're down there is important. Most people, even those who know how to (say) box, are basically fucked as soon as they fall over.

If you're being attacked by three or four people at once, and they don't know the "stand back and attack one at a time" protocol that should have been drilled into them by kung fu movies, hey, you're probably screwed. Unless they're five-year-olds.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 06-30-08 1:41 PM
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70: Except, do most fights end up on the ground? I've seen people with intermediate kickboxing training bloody would be ground-wrestlers sufficiently to deter them, for instance.

Not that I'm any sort of martial artist at all, which is why I only fight five-year-olds.


Posted by: DS | Link to this comment | 06-30-08 1:43 PM
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71: I don't have access to any statistics, just repeating the justification given. It depends a lot, obviously, on the circumstances, relative levels of training, relative levels of drunkenness, and relative levels of bloodthirst. Certainly, if somebody is dissuaded by getting popped in the nose you may well be able to accomplish that before they tackle you, assuming they don't know how to do it properly.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 06-30-08 1:48 PM
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Let me just note that there's a big difference between you being on the ground and the fight being on the ground...


Eyes and throat are terrible targets for the inexperienced in a fight. The typical problem of the inexperience is not getting totally incapacitated before managing to do anything at all. About the only things worth remembering are a) run away failing which b) surprise is good and c) (your) knees, elbows, forehead. d) don't freeze and don't get fancy.

Fending off a sexual attack is really different than a fight though. Closer, more likely to provide a target. Eyes might make sense there. Throat unlikely. Pelvis is silly. The break-his-weenie trick might work, but assumes hands free. Forehead to nose is still an awfully good tactic.


Posted by: soup biscuit | Link to this comment | 06-30-08 1:59 PM
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Soup knows what's up. Soup gonna wreck a motherfucker. Soup ain't gettin' raped by no broke-dick sonofabitch.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 06-30-08 2:01 PM
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Let me just note that there's a big difference between you being on the ground and the fight being on the ground...

On this, right, definitely. The key is to not end up on the ground by yourself.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 06-30-08 2:01 PM
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The key is to not end up on the ground by yourself.

Which is, to answer 71, typically how fights[*] end.

[*]contra brawls


Posted by: soup biscuit | Link to this comment | 06-30-08 2:03 PM
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I've just really rarely seen anyone win a real-life street fight with a submission hold or any sort of "on the ground" tactic. (Exception being cops and choke holds, but they usually have the added advantages of pepper spray and a buddy with a gun standing by.) Submission fighting seems mostly, in the daily run of things, to qualify as "getting fancy."


Posted by: DS | Link to this comment | 06-30-08 2:09 PM
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77: getting on somebody's back and choking them is not that fancy. But sure, you shouldn't try that either if you're not trained in it. It's just that, if you are trained in it (to some degree), it's among the most likely to not go disastrously wrong for you, the way that e.g. trying to kick somebody in the face or stand and punch away against a bigger opponent would. And also -- more importantly -- you can practice it at full speed and full strength, which means that when it happens in a fight you're doing something you've done before against people that are actively trying to stop you.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 06-30-08 2:14 PM
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The pelvis is not a complete ring. It will fracture at the weak point in the front.

I'm not telling people how to 'fight' or even 'street fight.' I'm telling how to defend oneself against a sexual assault. The eye gouge or throat grab assumes free hands. Either grab the throat and squeeze or put one fist on the throat and hit it with the other. Done correctly you'll crack cartilage rings in the trachea. The pelvis blow is best done as a kick when laying on one's back.

These are things one can do when the fight is close in and deadly serious to incapacitate the attacker and allow you to escape. I'm not talking about street fights.


Posted by: Tripp the Crazed | Link to this comment | 06-30-08 2:36 PM
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79: Yeah, it was clear what you were talking about. The thread diverged a bit but usually everyone can cope.

These are things one can do when the fight is close in and deadly serious to incapacitate the attacker and allow you to escape.

In theory, you're right, but in practice you're way, way off. In practice, the pelvis hit is ridiculous without a bunch of training. The throat is probably not going to happen. It's vulnerable to attack but hard to pull off correctly in the situation you describe. "Put one fist on the throat and hit it with another" is as ridiculous as the pelvis. Grab and squeeze might work, but needs some hand strength if you aren't using momentum.

Eye gouge is much more likely assuming enough arm mobility (not so likely). Forehead to nose is more likely than any of these, and with a follow up quite effective.

Basically, without training you're in trouble. Even with, you're in trouble. The number one problem is going to be maintaining enough presence of mind to do something.


Posted by: soup biscuit | Link to this comment | 06-30-08 2:44 PM
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Forehead to pelvis! Knee to the neck! Clock 'im in the pooter with your yams!


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 06-30-08 2:47 PM
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Forehead to nose is still an awfully good tactic
thanks, i'll try to remember :) thphu-thpu, knock-knock, god forbid
the good tactic is also to shout in a unknown language, it worked once for me in Japan, the assailant got startled and fled, my mom's spirit defends me anywhere
also, bite! wherever, so that it was really really painful for the sob to cause to drop doing anything b/c of the pain
at least you'll die resisting imo
it's contrary to the advice i heard on tv, a japanese program, about a famous singer who lived in America and her mom advised her do not resist if she'll be assaulted coz you live just once, so she said try to save your life by all means, not money or else
maybe she's wise, but everyone thinks and chooses what's right for oneself



Posted by: read | Link to this comment | 06-30-08 2:54 PM
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I've been kicked, punched and (during an inept football tackle) elbowed directly in the trachea. And yet I live!! The human body is not as fragile as many self-defense experts claim. Hell, there's one famous shootfighter who lost an eye in the ring to a gouge, and went on to win that fight, and one or two others that same day, finally being stopped by a choke applied by one Rickson Gracie.


Posted by: Eggplant | Link to this comment | 06-30-08 2:58 PM
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83: Apparently I had it backwards--first you go (half) blind, then you see Gracies.


Posted by: mcmc | Link to this comment | 06-30-08 3:27 PM
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And then all goes dark.


Posted by: Eggplant | Link to this comment | 06-30-08 4:34 PM
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