Re: Dish

1

There's that time late at night that the cockroach crawled into my mouth. It was okay.


Posted by: Walt Someguy | Link to this comment | 07- 6-08 11:26 PM
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2

Stanley, you're so 21 it hurts.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 07- 6-08 11:26 PM
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3

I'm at least 26, last time I counted, you sandwich-hating jerk.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 07- 6-08 11:28 PM
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4

A bowl of muesli with like 5 or 6 sugar packets.

Separately, it really bugs me when the media talk about private companies supposedly infringing on our free speech rights without bothering to clearly explain the difference between private and government conduct in that regard. Yahoo's policy about what photos it will allow on Flickr, for example, may be disturbing, but not because it is unconstitutional.


Posted by: Gaijin Biker | Link to this comment | 07- 6-08 11:28 PM
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5

Ritter Sport.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 07- 6-08 11:30 PM
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6

Turns out they do explain it... 21 paragraphs into the article. That should have been the lead. (lede?)


Posted by: Gaijin Biker | Link to this comment | 07- 6-08 11:31 PM
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You fucker, now you've made me rembember that there's some fucking doritos in the kitchen. I *never* eat doritos and yet I've snarfed down this whole disgusting bag....


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 07- 6-08 11:34 PM
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8

Sometimes if I'm really hungry late at night I'll eat some leg of lamb and risotto.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 07- 6-08 11:35 PM
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9

I still kinda want bruschetta, but that would take way too much work.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 07- 6-08 11:37 PM
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10

B, you should try Extreme Dill Pickle Pringles. Delicious!


Posted by: Gaijin Biker | Link to this comment | 07- 6-08 11:37 PM
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11

Liver, with fava beans and a nice Chianti. Vipvipvipvipvip.


Posted by: Gaijin Biker | Link to this comment | 07- 6-08 11:38 PM
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12

God that sounds revolting.

After eating a huge dinner (snapper sandwich and fries and yummy beer, even though I feel guilty about eating snapper), I for some reason wanted a donut. I blame you people. And now the fucking pringles. It's not like I'm on my period, either.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 07- 6-08 11:38 PM
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13

It is late at night, I am sort of hungry, and I am eating: white wine!

Also I just had a cannoli. So, so bad. So, so good. Better wine.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 07- 6-08 11:39 PM
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14

I bet pickled garlic scapes would be good.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 07- 6-08 11:39 PM
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I first registered #14 as "picked garlic scabs".

Sadly, if there were such a thing, I would probably at least try it.


Posted by: Gaijin Biker | Link to this comment | 07- 6-08 11:40 PM
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#12: After eating a huge dinner (snapper sandwich and fries and yummy beer, even though I feel guilty about eating snapper), I for some reason wanted a donut. I blame you people. And now the fucking pringles. It's not like I'm on my period, either.

Maybe you're pregnant.


Posted by: Gaijin Biker | Link to this comment | 07- 6-08 11:41 PM
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17

I often have bread with mustard or Worcestershire sauce or whatever else I have available.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 07- 6-08 11:42 PM
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18

Not pregnant. Nor menopausal, as Tweety implied privately just now.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 07- 6-08 11:43 PM
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19

My initial desire was a pizza with jalapeños and pineapple, which still sounds good.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 07- 6-08 11:43 PM
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20

B I thought you weren't going to tell everybody I'm desperately trying to knock you up.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 07- 6-08 11:44 PM
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21

I just had a slice of Cassata Cake, which slice I procured earlier today from Cleveland's Little Italy, which Little Italy really is quite little.


Posted by: ari | Link to this comment | 07- 6-08 11:44 PM
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22

17: teo understands.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 07- 6-08 11:44 PM
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23

22 to 16, edited slightly.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 07- 6-08 11:45 PM
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20: I said I wasn't going to tell Blume. I know she's your whole world, but she isn't "everybody."


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 07- 6-08 11:45 PM
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25

Also 2 to 23.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 07- 6-08 11:46 PM
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26

22: Indeed, I read this post and instantly felt a tinge of recognition.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 07- 6-08 11:46 PM
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24: she doesn't care who I pay to do what where as long as I'm not spending too much.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 07- 6-08 11:46 PM
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28

27: Funny, that's how Mr. B. and I are as well.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 07- 6-08 11:48 PM
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29

Anyone can build a tub-style mechanical chicken plucker.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 07- 6-08 11:50 PM
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30

I wonder if this Kimball fellow is related to the Cook's Illustrated guy (something I wonder about all people named Kimball, but this one seems relatively plausible). Garlic! And more!


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 07- 6-08 11:53 PM
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31

That's the kind of book that's been replaced by the internet.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 07- 6-08 11:54 PM
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32

KNEEL BEFORE MY DELICIOUS, ETHNIC CAKE, CRETINS!


Posted by: ari | Link to this comment | 07- 6-08 11:54 PM
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33

Am I the only person here who finds Cook's Illustrated hopelessly pretentious (and not particularly informative)?


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 07- 6-08 11:54 PM
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34

28: as long as I'm not directly involved. Deniability, B. That's our way.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 07- 6-08 11:55 PM
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35

WASP.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 07- 6-08 11:56 PM
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36

33: sure, yeah, you bet.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 07- 6-08 11:56 PM
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37

That's the kind of book that's been replaced by the internet.

The dude seems to have a blog as well.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 07- 7-08 12:00 AM
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38

The best late-night sandwich I ever had was a fried egg sandwich with marinara sauce, which came to me in a vision after watching Dazed and Confused. I wasn't high, but I had some very specific munchies.

The best middle of the afternoon sandwich is cheddar cheese on soft white bread with nothing else at all. The teeth marks are amazing.


Posted by: Wrongshore | Link to this comment | 07- 7-08 12:04 AM
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Several blogs, actually, on presumably none of which he tells you in quite as explicit detail as in the book how to build a mechanical chicken plucker. I'm reading the blog-form chicken butchering tutorial right now. It's pretty interesting.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 07- 7-08 12:05 AM
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40

Fried egg with harissa is a lot better than fried egg with marinara (which sounds kinda icky).


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 07- 7-08 12:17 AM
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41

Not as icky as reading about chicken butchering, though.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 07- 7-08 12:18 AM
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42

Actually, it wasn't icky at all. Know your food!


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 07- 7-08 12:23 AM
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43

Fried egg with New Mexico green chile sauce is really good. I have a freezer full that I'm not going through quickly; if anyone wants to take it off my hands, just swing on by.


Posted by: Wrongshore | Link to this comment | 07- 7-08 12:26 AM
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44

Damn! Now I have to go downstairs to see what's handy. Scotch and something, I think.


Posted by: Biohazard | Link to this comment | 07- 7-08 1:13 AM
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45

#63 was right about the sandwiches.


Posted by: Econolicious | Link to this comment | 07- 7-08 1:18 AM
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46

5. Ritter Sport is not ridiculous. It becomes one of the major food groups after midnight.

Toast with green curry paste and strong cheddar.


Posted by: OneFatEnglishman | Link to this comment | 07- 7-08 1:19 AM
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47

Ritter Sport with toast, green curry paste and strong cheddar? I thought you people didn't mix the sweet and savory.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 07- 7-08 1:20 AM
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48

Cereal is my favorite late night snack. Also, cold pasta. Actually, cold leftovers for some reason really please me late at night: cold steak and cold roasted potatoes, cold cumin-fennel chicken in a pita with tabouleh. Usually, whatever leftovers I have.

Although my favorite remains an open face white bread sandwich of fried egg with scallions and some soy sauce drizzled on top. White people are always unable to understand soy sauce on eggs, but it is delicious. I want to eat that right now. Hmm.

When I was little my dad would make me banh mi bo duong, or bread with butter and sugar. It is terrible for you, but so good. Also, bread with condensed milk. Bread with Laughing Cow cheese wedges. This is all on the puffy Vietnamese baguette. I need to buy liverwurst, because I miss it and it's the poor family's substitution for pate.


Posted by: Belle Lettre | Link to this comment | 07- 7-08 1:26 AM
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49

I just roasted and ate a chicken. It was good. I don't know how people roasted meat before electronic thermometers with 48 inch probe wires.


Posted by: bzbb | Link to this comment | 07- 7-08 1:45 AM
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50

It's usually cereal for me, dry, along with a glass of milk. As a bonus sometimes, I add some chocolate chips from the freezer. Cheerios & Rice Krispies are preferred for these purposes.


Posted by: Sir Kraab | Link to this comment | 07- 7-08 2:30 AM
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51

1. turkey and salsa sandwich introduced by a friend one drunken night in college
2. a leftover steak was phenomenal another drunken night in college.
3. on the many nights i stay up till 6-11 in the morning, I have cereal every other hour or so.


Posted by: disaggregated | Link to this comment | 07- 7-08 4:35 AM
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52

I made chips once, chip-pan and everything, for friends one drunken night.

We scrounged all the potatoes in the flat, made about four portions. Then, as everybody ate theirs, the cap on the salt-shaker came off as I shook it over mine. Ruining my portion.

It was a bloody tragedy.


Posted by: nattarGcM ttaM | Link to this comment | 07- 7-08 6:09 AM
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53

Unfogged is now the Payson Weekly Chronicle's "Helpful Household Hints" column?


Posted by: Bave Dee | Link to this comment | 07- 7-08 6:15 AM
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54

The White Spot, Stanley! The White Spot.


Posted by: Will | Link to this comment | 07- 7-08 6:21 AM
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55

33: Cooks Illus.: Pretentious maybe. Informative sometimes (a lot of strawman ingredients/methods in those intros). Recipes usually reliable, though. And no ads is the saving grace.


Posted by: babble | Link to this comment | 07- 7-08 6:50 AM
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56

||

Does anybody know how to make Brock Landers check his e-mail?

|>


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 07- 7-08 7:05 AM
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57

Brock, there's a form from the IRS in your inbox, that they'll arrest you if you don't return it.


Posted by: OneFatEnglishman | Link to this comment | 07- 7-08 7:12 AM
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58

55: Lucky you didn't end up another late night chip pan fire statistic...over time, we'll tick off all the Scottish stereotypes with Ttam.


Posted by: Alex | Link to this comment | 07- 7-08 7:25 AM
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59

I was going to have a late-night snack last night (nothing interesting: cheese and crackers, probably). But I lost my appetite after reading the cockroach thread.


Posted by: Mary Catherine | Link to this comment | 07- 7-08 7:58 AM
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60

7 is precisely my standard late night snack. Buying the 27 pound bag at Costco because it is "more economical" proves a very bad strategy at such moments.


Posted by: Di Kotimy | Link to this comment | 07- 7-08 8:38 AM
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61

it depends on how late it is. if it's before 3am, i drink some milk and that will fill me up enough to fall asleep. you don't even have to wake up fully to do it. but if it is any later than that, i will be very grumpy about waking up hungry and will go make instant macaroni and white cheddar which is very good for putting a person back to sleep again...


Posted by: mmf! | Link to this comment | 07- 7-08 8:47 AM
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62

spaghetti aio e oio. cheese, crackers, and some fruit spread. an omelette. or, more importantly, "whatever's leftover".


Posted by: Nathan Williams | Link to this comment | 07- 7-08 8:49 AM
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63

Di, a 27 pound bag of doritos? That must be the size of, of, of, a refrigerator?


Posted by: mcmc | Link to this comment | 07- 7-08 8:52 AM
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64

Okay, 27 pounds might be a slight exaggeration. Hyperbole, as it were. Whatever the ginormous Costco size bag is. Not intended as a single serve portion, but....


Posted by: Di Kotimy | Link to this comment | 07- 7-08 9:05 AM
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65

I was picturing you fastening it to the top of the car with ropes, maybe bringing chips and salsa to every potluck for the next 10 years or so.


Posted by: mcmc | Link to this comment | 07- 7-08 9:11 AM
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66

mcmc is trying to give Di the nickname "dorito."

Dorito, light of my life, fire of my loins. My sin, my soul. Do-ree-to: the tip of the tongue taking a trip of three steps down the palate to tap, at three, on the teeth. Do. Ree. To.


Posted by: Will | Link to this comment | 07- 7-08 9:15 AM
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67

I would never.


Posted by: mcmc | Link to this comment | 07- 7-08 9:19 AM
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68

sure, play all sweet and innocent now, Ms. Nickname-giver.


Posted by: Will | Link to this comment | 07- 7-08 9:21 AM
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69

The sad thing is, the only part that disturbs me is thinking that tying a bag that size to the roof with ropes would inevitably smash the chips. Chips and salsa will be my personal contribution to the Unfogged Iron Chef.


Posted by: Di Kotimy | Link to this comment | 07- 7-08 9:24 AM
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70

Remember: Salsa is very good for you. Tomatoes. Peppers. All good. Always say this to yourself as you eat a whole bag of doritos.


Posted by: rob helpy-chalk | Link to this comment | 07- 7-08 9:34 AM
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69: Right, you'd have to have some kind of clamps to hold onto the bottom of the bag. But this belongs on the Homework thread.


Posted by: mcmc | Link to this comment | 07- 7-08 9:34 AM
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Thomas Disch is dead. Crooked Timber has been giving me fits for a week, but PNH/TNH have a good thread going.

I've quoted from 334 on this blog.


Posted by: bob mcmanus | Link to this comment | 07- 7-08 9:37 AM
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For shame, nobody mentioned quesadillas. Tortilla, cheese, salsa, a minute in a hot pan—nearly instant gratification. A roommate and I would buy a 50-pack of tortillas, a 5-lb. block of Tillamook cheddar and a gallon jar of Mrs. Renfro's green salsa; we practically lived on those for months. For a more substantial version, we threw in ramen noodles: the ramladilla. It should have become famous, but now it's just a forgotten footnote in culinary history.

the only part that disturbs me is thinking that tying a bag that size to the roof with ropes would inevitably smash the chips

Those net-type tie-downs would probably be Dorito-friendly.


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 07- 7-08 9:52 AM
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74

My dad regularly eats a midnight snack of raw cauliflower. To be precise, he stands at the kitchen sink in his tighty whities and an undershirt and eats raw cauliflower over the sink. No peanut-butter-on-toast midnight snack of mine compares to the sight of that.


Posted by: fedward | Link to this comment | 07- 7-08 9:55 AM
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75

I just have one of these.


Posted by: feldspar | Link to this comment | 07- 7-08 9:58 AM
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76

I don't know how people roasted meat before electronic thermometers with 48 inch probe wires.

We did it by not sucking ass.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 07- 7-08 10:18 AM
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76: I think you may be misunderstanding how the probes are used....


Posted by: Di Kotimy | Link to this comment | 07- 7-08 10:20 AM
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78

Ben, I have to assume he was joking.


Posted by: OneFatEnglishman | Link to this comment | 07- 7-08 11:02 AM
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14: Surprisingly meh--the garlic flavor is overcome by the vinegar and it winds up tasting like a bland green bean--and not a good pickled green bean. I'm new to pickling, though, so maybe I need to try again. (Pickled garlic ramps, however, are fantastic.)


Posted by: Chopper | Link to this comment | 07- 7-08 1:30 PM
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Am I the only person here who finds Cook's Illustrated hopelessly pretentious (and not particularly informative)?

Pretentiousness is in the eye of the beholder, but I couldn't disagree more about the informative part. Not only are the recipes uniformly excellent (I can think of one failure out of, literally, hundreds I've made, plus a handful of "not worth it"), but they really have no preconceptions about ingredients and methods: preshredded mozzarella, garlic press, and curly parsley? All fine, all frequently deprecated by other "pretentious" cooking sources.

The "strawman" alternatives in the intros are (sometimes) nice for letting you know how to modify a recipe to suit your preferences, which I greatly appreciate. Remember when DeLong was trying to double the cinnamon in recipes to compensate for its earlier scarcity? CI usually lets you know if this sort of avenue might be fruitful (e.g., certain spices make a recipe taste "too much like pumpkin pie;" I think that would be awesome, so I use those spices).


Posted by: JRoth | Link to this comment | 07- 7-08 1:56 PM
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Most ridiculous late-night food I've ever run across: an old buddy used to swear by the "pocket burger." No, this wasn't a taco-esque burger-in-a-pita-pocket, it was a fast food convenience store hamburger that he would put in one pocket of his cargos at the beginning of the night and promptly forget about. Come closing time, he'd be heading home and hunting around in his pockets and lo-and-behold, a burger! Like finding extra change you didn't know you had, he said, only better.

I didn't point out to him that this was fucking disgusting, because he seemed really excited about it.


Posted by: DS | Link to this comment | 07- 7-08 2:03 PM
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Further on CI:

I've also found that it makes me a much better cook with recipes from other sources (also on made-up stuff, but that's a less clear-cut to me effect). Cook's has taught me enough things about putting together food that I rarely follow other recipes to the letter, instead substituting the techniques I've learned from CI; an obvious example (and one that I originally got from Marcella Hazan) is when to add garlic when you're sautéing onions as a sauce base. I'm always surprised to see recipes that say "add onions and garlic; sauté for 5-7 minutes," as if the garlic won't turn dark and bitter in that time.

There are plenty of more sophisticated examples as well. Basically, if I get a recipe from elsewhere, I treat it as little more than an ingredient list, using instead proven CI methods.


Posted by: JRoth | Link to this comment | 07- 7-08 2:14 PM
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83

I suppose some people would consider my favorite treat after a long night of computer gaming to be ridiculous.

Since this was before home video games I'd be walking back from the computer center and stop at the local convenience store for sardines, crackers, and warm Diet Rite soda in the 16 oz returnable bottles.

This would gross some people out but I liked it. Plus sardines are high in calcium.


Posted by: Tripp the Crazed | Link to this comment | 07- 7-08 3:14 PM
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84

Sardines and crackers are normal, but no form of diet anything is.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 07- 7-08 3:20 PM
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85

Can of tuna, can of cream of mushroom soup, half a cup of Kraft parmesan cheese, salt and pepper to taste. Heat all ingedients in a saucepan unil bubbling/heated all the way through. Scoop onto saltine crackers or eat directly from the pan with a spoon.



Posted by: Chopper | Link to this comment | 07- 7-08 3:21 PM
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86

66 is brilliant.


Posted by: TJ | Link to this comment | 07- 7-08 3:23 PM
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87

Chopper,

That sounds good to me. Comfort food. Lately I've been having a fair amount of wild Salmon (for the omega threes) but it also tastes really good to me.

For some reason my wife disliked my inventiveness when I put canned corn in with the macaroni and cheese. Maybe it was too yellow. She didn't like the popped corn in with the baked beans either. I liked the crunch it added.


Posted by: Tripp the Crazed | Link to this comment | 07- 7-08 3:24 PM
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84:

John,

To my dismay none of the rest of my clan share my love of fish. And they live in Minnesota! I love fish.

I will admit that the Diet Rite, sweetened with saccharine, had a distinct and unpleasant aftertaste. It was pretty cheap though, and you know college students and how cheap they are.


Posted by: Tripp the Crazed | Link to this comment | 07- 7-08 3:27 PM
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89

She didn't like the popped corn in with the baked beans either.

Because AGGGGHH!


Posted by: DS | Link to this comment | 07- 7-08 3:31 PM
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90

89 gets it exactly right.


Posted by: JRoth | Link to this comment | 07- 7-08 3:39 PM
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91

I rarely follow other recipes to the letter, instead substituting the techniques I've learned from CSI.

Fixed that for you.


Posted by: Wrongshore | Link to this comment | 07- 7-08 4:14 PM
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one that I originally got from Marcella Hazan

Yes! So useful. It is described especially beautifully in Marcella Says.


Posted by: redfoxtailshrub | Link to this comment | 07- 7-08 4:19 PM
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re: 58

Nah, there was a room full of people, and I wasn't that drunk. I'd never ever attempt it on my own, though.

I've put out a couple of chip pan fires [sober] before, though. Hot fat and vegetables with a high water content aren't really a health and safety win.

That said, it must have been a decade since I last made 'proper' chips.

Drunk cooking -- when you're drunk enough that the excitement about making stuff triumphs over the natural sloth -- is great.


Posted by: nattarGcM ttaM | Link to this comment | 07- 7-08 4:53 PM
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94

Drunk cooking. I think I may have described my colleague's appalling coming-home-drunk snack/invention, the Faucet Dog. That's where you stick a hot dog on a fork and hold it under the hot water until it's warm enough to eat. Usually standing over the sink. I'd rather just drink myself unconscious, but she swore by them.


Posted by: mcmc | Link to this comment | 07- 7-08 5:17 PM
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95

Faucet Dog out-grosses Pocket Burger, and I didn't think that was possible.


Posted by: DS | Link to this comment | 07- 7-08 5:19 PM
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96

My late night snack is almost always plain white tortilla chips with salsa. Mmmmmmm, salsa.


Posted by: Robust McManlyPants | Link to this comment | 07- 7-08 5:25 PM
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97

I don't find Faucet Dog disgusting so much as horribly depressing. The mental image of a hot dog on a fork under a faucet of warm water makes me feel lonely just imagining it.


Posted by: Robust McManlyPants | Link to this comment | 07- 7-08 5:26 PM
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97: Too true, too true.


Posted by: DS | Link to this comment | 07- 7-08 5:27 PM
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re: 94

I used to live with a flatmate who liked to have loads of guests round after the pub shut. Usually great, as most of her friends were really nice, but when you get stuck into the kitchen and start producing tasty food, the vultures can descend in a way that makes you want to fight them off with a toasting fork.


Posted by: nattarGcM ttaM | Link to this comment | 07- 7-08 5:27 PM
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97: The thing is, she was a blindingly perky party girl. It sort of gave her a melancholy shadow side--Many a heart is aching/After the baaaaall sort of thing.


Posted by: mcmc | Link to this comment | 07- 7-08 5:32 PM
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101

I had lost track of this thread, but faucet dog and pocket burger have me laughing my ass off.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 07-11-08 11:39 PM
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102

Also, I don't think I realized that the point of CI was it's lack of advertising. I retract my previous opinion. My bad.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 07-11-08 11:40 PM
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103

Aren't hot dogs already cooked once before they're put in the packages?


Posted by: Walt Someguy | Link to this comment | 07-11-08 11:53 PM
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104

Yes, of course. But holding one under the hot water tap before eating it is still totally pathetic.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 07-12-08 12:01 AM
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103: That's why they are on the Bad Boy Scouts list of campout food along with Pop-Tarts; get the fire going, cook 'em and eat 'em, don't get the fire going? just eat 'em.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 07-12-08 5:09 AM
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