Re: Ask the Mineshaft: Arf Arf Arf Edition

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I hope this isn't an ATM discretion error, but am I right that this is KR and Fleur's new puppy?

I knew it!


Posted by: JRoth | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 11:34 AM
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Danceny.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 11:34 AM
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the French naming convention for pets (animals born in the same year carry names that begin with the same letter; 2008=D).

The French are so insanely anal about names.


Posted by: JRoth | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 11:35 AM
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Aremis. Doolin. Durand. Gaidon.


Posted by: DS | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 11:37 AM
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Is Breton cake from Bretagne, or is there a separate place? Because that shit is delicious.

I am resolute in my unwillingness to be helpful. I am also getting extremely punchy due to the events of the past week combined with the Xtreme Brand heat that we're experiencing.


Posted by: JRoth | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 11:37 AM
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How can peep get access to see the cutest puppy ever? Please? Is that the magic word?


Posted by: peep | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 11:38 AM
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Old Yeller
Bojangles


Posted by: ptm | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 11:39 AM
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Breton dog name beginning with "D"? Has to be Dogmatix.


Posted by: OneFatEnglishman | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 11:40 AM
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So cute!

The other reason for rejecting Kouign Amman is that it sounds like you don't know how to say Kofi Annan correctly.

I like Rouquin, but I fear that with that or Mignon, or any other obviously French word, you'll look like a tool when you pronounce it correctly. Just like I do when I ask for a croissant at a bakery. ("You mean a cres-SANT?" No, no I don't.)

Something like Korrigan you could get away with.


Posted by: Sir Kraab | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 11:40 AM
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(low and long, like a Dachshund

Doobie?


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 11:40 AM
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Ogged.
Ben W-lfs-n.


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 11:41 AM
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6: One of the puppet masters has to let you in.


Posted by: Sir Kraab | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 11:41 AM
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I'm not sure how this requirement

should not reveal us as total tools.

is compatible with these suggestions:

"Korrigan" (a Breton word meaning a magic, creative elf), "Mignon" (cute), and "Rouquin" (redhead). The leading rejected entry so far is "Kouign Amman" (a Breton butter cake), rejected for being unpronounceable by non-Celts.

In general, I'm afraid living up to

Could reflect his breed heritage

Is going make you pretty toolish to an American audience.


Posted by: rob helpy-chalk | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 11:41 AM
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I like Rouquin, but I fear that with that or Mignon, or any other obviously French word, you'll look like a tool when you pronounce it correctly. Just like I do when I ask for a croissant at a bakery. ("You mean a cres-SANT?" No, no I don't.)

That even happens with English words. Fortunately "scon" sounds a lot more like "scone" than it does like any other pastry.


Posted by: Fatman | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 11:42 AM
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Swipple.


Posted by: Bave Dee | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 11:43 AM
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Aren't your non-negotiable and your desirable criteria inherently incompatible?


Posted by: Brock Landers | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 11:47 AM
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pwned by helpychalk.


Posted by: Brock Landers | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 11:47 AM
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Begins with D? How about "dog"?

||
JRoth, I have a Pittsburgh- and restaurant-related question. Can you either let me know your email or email me at my linked address?
|>

||
It looks as though there will be a Portland meetup August 16, with special guest Ogged. Mark your calendars.
|>


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 11:48 AM
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3: I was thinking it sounded more like some crazy convention from a science fiction show. Like something a b-series would do to show that this culture was truly alien.
They all dress alike, and name their children beginning with the same letter, to honor the powers that be....

Denis. Clovis. Durandal (I think that's the name of the sword of Roland, even though it sounds a little Legolas-at-the-gay-bar.)


Posted by: Cala | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 11:48 AM
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OK, rejected names for Kai Oliver, none of which will you find helpful:

Milo
Telemachus
Jasper (preëmptively used by me for our dog)
George
Felix
Ralston (family name, for middle only)

We really didn't have a lot of choices we liked.


Posted by: JRoth | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 11:49 AM
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||

I finally posted pictures of my beloved grandnephew and also a picture of my wild garden on the flickr site.

|>


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 11:50 AM
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Let the four year old pick out the name.


Posted by: rob helpy-chalk | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 11:51 AM
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Wait, "Kai" is a boy? Is your wife Japanese or Samoan or something? If not, I see no excuse for that.


Posted by: Fatman | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 11:51 AM
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20: That is one handsome dog.

After teaching The Phantom Tollbooth this summer, I think more people should name their dogs "Tock."


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 11:52 AM
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Oh, and I always have wanted to name a dog Argos, but AB isn't the Hellenist that some of us are.


Posted by: JRoth | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 11:53 AM
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23: Why? "Kai" is a reasonably established boys' name, if not a common one.


Posted by: DS | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 11:53 AM
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23: Kai is a man's name in Germany. In the US, I only know female Kais.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 11:54 AM
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If not, I see no excuse for that.

people need excuses for names? wtf?


Posted by: soup biscuit | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 11:54 AM
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Wait, "Kai" is a boy? Is your wife Japanese or Samoan or something? If not, I see no excuse for that.

Um, German?

Also.


Posted by: JRoth | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 11:55 AM
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17: But helpy-chalk was semi-pwned by me. Just for the record.


Posted by: Sir Kraab | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 11:56 AM
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22: this is what my mom did with me. As a result, our dog's name was "Pixie Tail".


Posted by: Brock Landers | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 11:56 AM
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21: Beautiful garden, beautiful kid.


Posted by: Sir Kraab | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 11:57 AM
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I might add that the only Kai I've ever known (before this week, that is) is a [male] German architecture prof. whom we happen to know.

Apparently, Kai is most often used as part of a hyphenated name in Germany, such as Kai-Adolph. For some reason, we didn't use that.


Posted by: JRoth | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 11:58 AM
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30: Someone is keeping records of all the pwnership on this blog, right?


Posted by: rob helpy-chalk | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 11:58 AM
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24: You taught The Phantom Tollbooth? Awesome! I love that book.


Posted by: Sir Kraab | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 11:58 AM
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Dagonet.


Posted by: Cala | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 11:58 AM
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31: Yeah.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 11:59 AM
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36: "That Dag gone dog!"


Posted by: Bave Dee | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 12:00 PM
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35: And The Pilgrim's Progress! See if they ever let me teach an elective in children's lit again.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 12:01 PM
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Interesting. If it's a German name used in Germany, it's as acceptable as "Ulrich" or "Jürgen" in this country, I guess.


Posted by: Fatman | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 12:01 PM
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Dthulhu.

Why does 2008 = D? Or does every dog for the entire millenium have to have a name starting with D?


Posted by: Walt Someguy | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 12:01 PM
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34: Yes, down at the pwnty clerk's office.


Posted by: Minivet | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 12:04 PM
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it's as acceptable as "Ulrich" or "Jürgen" in this country, I guess.

Well, the list of acceptable (to us) German names is pretty short. They veer from foreign-sounding (if not downright cacophonous, although we both like the German language) and/or weird to indistinguishable from English, with virtually no middle ground.

"No, not 'hyoo-bert.' 'Hoo-bert.'"
"No, it's Georg. 'Gay-org.'"


Posted by: JRoth | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 12:07 PM
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Great dog.

Damn somebody beat to "dog" I also use "dude"

There was French Impressionist/Post impressionist who specialized in Breton paintings! And his name was Ferdinand du Puigaudeau. So, what dya think? Toolish?

"Doobie" is good


Posted by: bob mcmanus | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 12:10 PM
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And The Pilgrim's Progress! See if they ever let me teach an elective in children's lit again.

I loved the part where Vain Hope ferried Milo and the Humbug across to the River of Death to the Mathemagician's castle, only to cast Milo into the fires of Hell when he said that math was stupid and he preferred to watch t.v.


Posted by: snarkout | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 12:11 PM
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43: gay.org


Posted by: rob helpy-chalk | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 12:11 PM
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41:Walt. French don't say "two thousand eight" I don't know what they do say, but not that.


Posted by: bob mcmanus | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 12:12 PM
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I'm not sure how this requirement "should not reveal us as total tools" is compatible with these suggestions

You know, I figured when I wrote that sentence that it would be p→1 that someone would make that observation.

So, err, touché.


Posted by: Knecht Ruprecht | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 12:12 PM
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Protein.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 12:14 PM
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37: Joaquin Andujar! Awesome!

A friend who works in architectural/art history met someone and was told the name of her cat.

"Wow, Moshe Saftie, what a great name for a cat! That's so unusual."
"No. It's Mr. Softie.


Posted by: JRoth | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 12:20 PM
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D'Artagnan! Diderot!


Posted by: Armsmasher | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 12:21 PM
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Dig Dug. Destoroyah. Deckard.


Posted by: foolishmortal | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 12:22 PM
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The best dog names end in vowels, so they can be yodeled when the dog takes off down the street. Compare:

Raaaaaaaaaal-stoooooon!

Miiiiiiiiiiiiiilooooooooooooooo!

The latter is immensely more fun to say.


Posted by: Amber | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 12:23 PM
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Derrida. DFH.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 12:24 PM
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In Russian a dog's sound is onomatopoeized as "gaf gaf gaf."


Posted by: Armsmasher | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 12:24 PM
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I always thought Roho would make a good dog's name, and the bristly red hair makes it downright apropos. (Or you could call him Apropos.)

D-wise? Dagwood, Dalton, Dodsworth.


Posted by: babble | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 12:24 PM
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Dicques.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 12:25 PM
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I have a good one. Dagobert. it was a French king, and it was the name of a dog in one of my French textbooks once.


Posted by: peter | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 12:25 PM
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55: In Japanese, it's "wan wan".


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 12:27 PM
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Decubitus. Dropsy. Dysexlia.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 12:27 PM
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Kai is a man's name in Germany.

Since I've already outed myself as a total tool, I'll relate an anecdote that that's only funny if you know a bit of French and German.

Fleur and I were out to dinner with some colleagues in Paris on the company dime (we had just completed a project, and my employer was treating the team to dinner). The partner on the project, a total jerk named Kai, skipped the event.

So we're sitting in the restaurant at the posh Hotel Crillon, and one of the dishes on the menu was "Caille" (quail, pronounced "kai"). Fleur asked my colleagues to translate this unfamiliar word, and one colleague (the son of a French mother and a German father) said he didn't know the English word, but that the German translation was Wachtel. Another colleague chimed in and said that he thought the German word for Kai was Arschloch.

This little bon mot created an altogether unseemly hail of laughter from our table.


Posted by: Knecht Ruprecht | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 12:28 PM
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Dogbert (pronounced Doh-bair, naturally).

Deggofnu.


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 12:28 PM
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62 is awesome, and all too appropriate because our children have a stuffed polar bear named "Row" that they got from a Frenchman named Robert.

Keep 'em coming. We'll have the children draw one out of a hat or something.


Posted by: Knecht Ruprecht | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 12:31 PM
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Dino-myte!


Posted by: Armsmasher | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 12:31 PM
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Freedog.


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 12:31 PM
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Deyogee. Pronounced D.O.G.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 12:32 PM
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And you should tell people the breed name is "Freedom Basset".


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 12:33 PM
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55: I'm pretty sure my Russian textbook had it as "bakh! bakh! bakh!"

I always liked the sound that roosters make in Hebrew, "Coocooreekooroo!" (something like that)


Posted by: peep | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 12:35 PM
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Snoopy Snoopi Snoopé


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 12:37 PM
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I have a good one. Dagobert.

And no one would ever think it was a current pop culture reference.

Kids always thought our previous dog, Thisbe, was named Frisbee.

Semi-pwned by 62, but not really.


Posted by: JRoth | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 12:37 PM
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68: Apo says "arf arf arf" where I would've said "ruff ruff ruff" so I'm betting there are variants in other languages, too. I heard Moscovites say "gaf gaf gaf".


Posted by: Armsmasher | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 12:38 PM
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Snoopy Snoopi Snoopé

Of "If I Had No Woof" fame.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 12:38 PM
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50: 37: Joaquin Andujar! Awesome!

I hope he threw little turtle tantrums in his bowl.

Not real pets, but at a similar age naming play horses my kids came up with Joe Information and Pirate at the Bat.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 12:39 PM
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I amused/confused Iris yesterday by telling her that Japanese pigs say "boo."


Posted by: JRoth | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 12:39 PM
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Our dog is named Edie, because "idi" means "come here" in Russian. When Moll-E lived in Russia, the parks always had middle aged women in them yelling "Idi! Idi!"

I'm not sure if this counts as pretentious on our part. It's, like, covert pretension.


Posted by: rob helpy-chalk | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 12:40 PM
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Dogg Snoopy Snoop.


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 12:40 PM
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My dad named our dogs (that he didn't want) after herpes medicine and jock itch medicine. The theory was that it'd foster attachment if he was allowed to name them. I think I've told this story here before.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 12:42 PM
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His slave name at the shelter was J.P.,

Dormcrow.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 12:42 PM
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62:Dogbert is like so perfect. Kids at school can call him Dober and "He's French" with multiples hilarity.

I just spent way too much time at Wikipedia researching consonants (fricatives, bilabial plosives, yeccch) but basically 'hard' consonants are heard better by dogs. Or so I'm told.


Posted by: bob mcmanus | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 12:43 PM
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69 is très funny.


Posted by: Walt Someguy | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 12:46 PM
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68: I've only ever heard "gaf gaf" from the Russians and Ukrainians I've known.


Posted by: Bave Dee | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 12:47 PM
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This is the blog for cock jokes. Bilabial 'splosives is Making Light territory, I believe.


Posted by: Armsmasher | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 12:51 PM
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We have , which is highly recommended for that purpose.


Posted by: Brock Landers | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 12:52 PM
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For what purpose, you might ask? But I will not tell.


Posted by: Brock Landers | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 12:52 PM
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Forelegsmasher!


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 12:52 PM
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I'd keep the JP and call him Jean-Pierre.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 12:53 PM
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Sir Daag!


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 12:53 PM
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D/g!!!!!11!!!


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 12:54 PM
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I'm pretty sure Chinese dogs, at least the ones who bark proper Mandarin, say "wow! wow! wow!".


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 12:55 PM
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Wow- great names everyone! Thank you for the suggestions. Right now the girls are watching "Lady and the Tramp" with the little guy. He is so sweet!
He is super mellow, so doobie would be a great name, but I am not sure I want my children telling their teacher in the begining of the fall:
This summer we got a new puppy! Mommy and Daddy named him doobie...


Posted by: Fleur | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 12:55 PM
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Hmmm, wiki tells me that's what the Cantonese dogs say. Mandarin dogs say "wang! wang!"

Pretty similar pronunciation though, actually.


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 12:57 PM
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Our dog is named Edie, because "idi" means "come here" in Russian. When Moll-E lived in Russia, the parks always had middle aged women in them yelling "Idi! Idi!"

So Knecht's dog should be named "Viens"?

Or "Jetzt! Kommen Sie!"


Posted by: peter | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 12:57 PM
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81: I never actually heard any Russian make dog barking sounds. I just remember how it was written out in my very silly Russian 101 textbook.


Posted by: peep | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 12:58 PM
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Douglas or Daniel. I like this sort of name because it enhances the person-in-a-dogsuit impression that certain dogs create.


Posted by: mcmc | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 1:01 PM
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Does everyone understand this 2008 = D thing except for me? I've never felt so alone.


Posted by: Walt Someguy | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 1:03 PM
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It's spelled "гав," actually, but with no vowel at the end the final consonant is unvoiced.


Posted by: Bave Dee | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 1:03 PM
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94: Doogie Bowser.


Posted by: Bave Dee | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 1:04 PM
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94: An elementary school kid of my acquaintance named his dog "Doug," which was weirdly hilarious.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 1:05 PM
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95: No, but I'm happy to play along.


Posted by: mcmc | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 1:06 PM
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LeDog
with frenchness and D and pronuncable, no?


Posted by: read | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 1:06 PM
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This is the blog for cock jokes. Bilabial 'splosives is Making Light territory, I believe.

Bilabial plosives and cock jokes aren't as unalike as you might think, smashman.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 1:11 PM
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LeDog

Plus, he appears to be approximately the same size and potency as the LeCar.


Posted by: JRoth | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 1:13 PM
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95: I assume that it is following this scheme:

When choosing a registered name for your Chartreux, it is customary to use the French naming system. The first letter of the cat's name is determined by the year of the cat's birth. The years follow a 20 year cycle (the letters K, Q, W, X, Y, and Z are not used). For example, 1993 was an "I" year, so Chartreux born in 1993 have names like Isabelle and Indigo.

If I did it right I think in this cycle 2008="D".


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 1:15 PM
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Christ in a ham roll, that is one hella cute dog. I'm worthless for names, though. I tried to convince Rah to go along with a friend's suggestion that we name our cats "Hookers" & "Blow."

Well, OK, I have one suggestion, based on the fact that I was a huge fan of The Dukes of Hazzard as a kid: Jefferson Davis Dogg, and you can call him simply "Davis" when he's not in trouble.


Posted by: Robust McManlyPants | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 1:16 PM
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No time to read any other comments, but:

Dogmatix
The Donger
Denis Richard
Dude (when you call him, you can say, "come here, dude")
Dennis Thatcher
Destiny's Child
Danton
D-Lite
D-Money
EZ-D
Doofus

My dog has the lamest name imaginable. My wife rejected my suggestion of "Whiskey."


Posted by: Robert Halford | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 1:19 PM
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Diablo, Depardieu, Dumas


Posted by: will | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 1:19 PM
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Name the dog Spare Rib, and get a bigger dog and name it Prime Rib.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 1:20 PM
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DanielDavies


Posted by: Robert Halford | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 1:27 PM
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Jefferson Davis Dogg

Not gonna go over well here in Julia Ward Howe territory.

However, the mention of Dukes of Hazzard stimulated the thought that we could name him "Duquesne" and call him "Duke" for short. I could tell the red state relatives that he's named for the beer.

Upon reflection, naming him Duke would be a slap in the face to the guy who graciously posted this ATM.


Posted by: Knecht Ruprecht | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 1:28 PM
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Den Beste? Just kidding.


Posted by: Klug | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 1:29 PM
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"Gerard" doesn't start with "D" but it evokes a name that does. Plus the famous actor does kind of resemble the breed, and it follows mcmc's sage advice in 94.


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 1:32 PM
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Who is in charge of the Flickr group now? I have never gotten around to getting myself added, but I want to see the cute dog.


Posted by: CJB | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 1:38 PM
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Didier? Whatever Tintin's dog is named?


Posted by: Katherine | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 1:46 PM
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Armsmasher is one of the keepers of the Flickr. Not sure who else.


Posted by: Bave Dee | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 1:47 PM
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a slap in the face

Duke is a good name for dogs, but in my head it's kinda reserved for German Shepherds because when I was a kid my grandparents had a pair named Duke and Duchess.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 1:50 PM
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Matisse? Derain?


Posted by: Katherine | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 1:52 PM
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116: Even better: Derain Derain.


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 1:53 PM
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Ogged is the other keeper.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 1:55 PM
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Or how about Duchamp?


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 1:56 PM
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it's kinda reserved for German Shepherds

You're thinking of "Kaiser." Like the huge, white German Shepherd that our Italian neighbors had when I was little, and who ate one of my little Lego guys. None of the grownups followed up on their promise to "see about getting it back." I've never trusted them since.


Posted by: JRoth | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 1:56 PM
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wolf benson.


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 1:57 PM
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All due respect, but why 'Smasher?


Posted by: JRoth | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 1:57 PM
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But it's a Basset Fauve, not a Basset Dada (or Basset Surrealist, or whatever).


Posted by: Katherine | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 1:58 PM
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123 to 119.


Posted by: Katherine | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 1:59 PM
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122: he started it.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 1:59 PM
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122: He won a Mixed Martial Arts contest between all of us.


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 1:59 PM
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How does one contact Armsmasher?


Posted by: CJB | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 2:01 PM
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Like the huge, white German Shepherd that our Italian neighbors had when I was little, and who ate one of my little Lego guys.

I was not reading this carefully and thought it said "who ate one of my little legs"!


Posted by: redfoxtailshrub | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 2:01 PM
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123: Ah yes. Duh.

But, um, how about if Knecht put a little sign around his neck that said "Ceci n'est pas une fauve"?


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 2:04 PM
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127: Smash your arm in a car door, or a window, or (with help from a friend) a baseball bat, and The Armsmasher will come to you. It has always worked in the past.


Posted by: JRoth | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 2:05 PM
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Delphi. Delaware. Daschle. Dudley. Dewitt. Dorsey. Delmar. Darwin.

The last 5 there come from the SSA list of boy-names in ages past. Oddly enough, in the 1900s, Dorothy was the 657th-most popular boy's name, with 136 recorded instances.


Posted by: Minivet | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 2:17 PM
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I've thought of Dinan (ancient capital of Bretagne that we once visited); Déboucher (to uncork, after one of our favorite pastimes); Bagad (traditional Breton musical group); Galette (savoury buckwheat pancake); Lambig (Breton version of Calvados); and Dodu (chubby).

I also thought Doudou (a child's favorite toy/blanket/binky) would make a cute name, but realized quickly why that wouldn't work.


Posted by: Knecht Ruprecht | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 2:17 PM
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Doolittle might be funny.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 2:17 PM
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113: That would be Snowy / Milou / Struppi (which KR probably knows).

Looking through a convenient list, apparently in Luxembourgish Professor Calculus was renamed Ditchen.


Posted by: Minivet | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 2:22 PM
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What's the name for the Breton version of the bagpipe? (I remember that that big oboe thing is called a bombarde, no?) Your dog's probably just about the right size to make a good one, and that could be an awesome Halloween costume idea, you dressed up in tradition Bagad gear and carrying him with all these pipes somehow attached to his back.


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 2:24 PM
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which KR probably knows

Actually, the whole Tintin ouevre is a mighty big lacuna in my general knowledge. I know the images and a few of the names, but I never read the books.


Posted by: Knecht Ruprecht | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 2:26 PM
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Innocent typo in 136, Ben. No need to expend the energy commenting.


Posted by: KR | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 2:28 PM
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Your dog's probably just about the right size to make a good one

For a minute there I thought you were suggesting I skin him and cure the hide.


Posted by: KR | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 2:29 PM
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How does one contact Armsmasher?

I don't know how squeamish 'smasher is about having his e-mail address on Unfogged, but if you e-mail me at mypseud at gmail, I'll forward it to him.


Posted by: Sir Kraab | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 2:31 PM
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Well he's not going to do it himself.


Posted by: JRoth | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 2:33 PM
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140 to 138, dammit.


Posted by: JRoth | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 2:34 PM
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139: Maybe we need a less cryptic system.


Posted by: JRoth | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 2:34 PM
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Well, yes, but only the cryptics have the power to change it. Quite the pickle.


Posted by: Sir Kraab | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 2:38 PM
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Just send him a message through flickr.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 2:39 PM
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||

The End Times are near. Yggles ostentatiously - yet correctly - pluralizes "bureau":

In the future, fashion ads probably won't be able to cross-subsidize any bureaux anywhere.
I realize the man is very well-educated, but I don't trust him with the plural of cat, much less bureau.

|>


Posted by: JRoth | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 2:40 PM
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OK, here's two serious suggestions: Doigt (finger, after his shape), or Doré (golden). Too toolish?

Upon further reflection, "doigt" sounds too much like "twat". Forget that one.


Posted by: KR | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 2:41 PM
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Just send him a message through flickr.

How is one supposed to know how to do this, if one is not already "in"?

[For the record, I am, in fact, already "in." I'm fighting for the faceless millions who have been excluded by our corrupt elites. Selflessly. Fighting, that is. I mean, I am.

You're welcome.]


Posted by: JRoth | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 2:42 PM
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You don't need to be "in" to join flickr, JRoth.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 2:44 PM
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Dammit.

"Come here, Dammit!"
"Get off the couch, Dammit!"
"Quit humping the cat, Dammit!"


Posted by: Chopper | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 2:44 PM
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Dogbert. It's gotta be Dogbert.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 2:45 PM
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Caroline and I have been reading tintin, and I was surprised to find that it wasn't very good. It was a real let down after reading Little Nemo in Slumberland with Caroline. The Scooby-doo comic we picked up at the Albany train station has a better graphic sense than Hergé. Caroline, of course, loves tintin as much as she did Little Nemo in Slumberland. Children have no taste in children's comics.


Posted by: rob helpy-chalk | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 2:45 PM
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149: The RC priest in the county where I grew up (a job not unlike the Maytag repairman) had a cat named Dammit. Whenever he let slip the forbidden word, he would say "Just calling the cat!"


Posted by: KR | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 2:46 PM
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Doré seems OK, as long as you're OK with people mishearing it as Dorie. I think people are pretty understanding about naming dogs after their breed nationality, and saying "He's a French breed, and Doré is French for Goldie" sounds sensible to a dig person.

Shit, why live in PDBS if you can't be a little froufrou?


Posted by: JRoth | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 2:46 PM
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122 was kind of douchey?

You must start by adding me as a contact.


Posted by: Armsmasher | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 2:47 PM
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139: You don't need elaborate justifications to write to me, Sir.


Posted by: | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 2:50 PM
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154: "douchey" is a terrible name for a dog, 'smasher.


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 2:50 PM
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Dogbert. It's gotta be Dogbert.

No, that would be like naming your cat Garfield.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 2:51 PM
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You must start by adding me as a contact.

Done. I am guessing that the fact CJB and cjbakker are related is self evident, but if not that is my flickr account name.


Posted by: CJB | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 2:51 PM
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148: I meant that, as a member of Flickr, I don't think "send Armsmasher a message" is enough info. I get 3 pics when I search for that name, but I'm not sure I'd be able to see them absent being in the Unfogged pool. His Flickr ID is neither Armsmasher nor his real name.

Anyway, I'm not trying to be such a pain in the asslittle bitch on this point.


Posted by: JRoth | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 2:51 PM
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155: So when I asked Sir Kraab "who are you e-mailing?" and she said "nobody", it was you!


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 2:52 PM
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Yeah, the turnaround time for service here is excellent. Thanks Armsmasher.


Posted by: CJB | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 2:53 PM
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157: Then how about spelling it "Daubert"?


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 2:54 PM
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154: Sorry, it really wasn't meant to be. It just seemed odd that the gatekeepers to the Unfogged pool consist of one hiated poster and one (esteemed) commenter. Obviously, if you set it up, then it makes total sense.

As I said earlier, I'm feeling a bit punchy this week.


Posted by: JRoth | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 2:55 PM
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How about "Daube"?


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 2:57 PM
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Turns out there are a few different kinds of Breton bagpipes. One is called a veuze and there's another type (with a couple of subtypes) that's called biniou. Neither seem like good dog names to me.

Still, dressing your dog like a set of bagpipes for Halloween is an awesome idea.


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 2:58 PM
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163: Hey, no hard feelings. Not now, anyway.


Posted by: Armsmasher | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 3:01 PM
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The contenders so far (courtesy of our Breton friend Jean-Yves) are: "Korrigan" (a Breton word meaning a magic, creative elf), "Mignon" (cute), and "Rouquin" (redhead).

Don't name the dog after food! In all seriousness - animals take on the characteristics of whatever you name them.

Everyone hit most of my initial suggestions:
D'Artagnan! Diderot! Denis. Clovis. Durandal. DuQuesnes

If you were going cutesy and froggy: DaDa. Good for four year olds.

If you're going to name the dog properly: Desaix, Devoût, De Gaulle, d'Erlon, Deladier (not a good choice, likely), D'Arcy, Dumas (heh Dogtanian)...

If I were gonna name the dog and specifying the dog is both a frog and hound, Marshall Ney stands out (famously brave), (if you were going for suicidally brave, Comte Lasalle: 'any hussar that isn't dead by thirty is a blackguard') Charles Martel, Henry of Navarre, Lafayette.

max
['I expect one duty of the dog is to protect the kid.']


Posted by: max | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 3:02 PM
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animals take on the characteristics of whatever you name them.

Name your dog "One Ton of Solid Gold".


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 3:03 PM
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Don't quit so soon, Roth. We need to get to the bottom of this. How did Armsmasher, a mere poster, gain his high position? Probably with sexual favors is my guess.

Just repeating that I've just posted my adorable and beloved grandnephew and my wild garden. Isn't he cute?


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 3:04 PM
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168: Nope. "Potcrapper".


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 3:07 PM
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I think "Detroit" could be good. It's originally French but also completely American. Plus the Rust Belt / red fur angle. And maybe you could teach him to howl to Motown records.


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 3:09 PM
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I'd like to take this moment to mention how very irritating I find Flickr. After wrestling with the irksome and unintuitive interface and finally getting the pictures in the right order, the order changes when I put them in the Unfogged group.

The only reason I use Flickr is because of my deep love of the Unfoggedariat. The things I do for you.


Posted by: Sir Kraab | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 3:19 PM
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my wild garden

I was wondering if it was yours or just one you biked past. Very nice, John.


Posted by: JRoth | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 3:22 PM
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Dog


Posted by: froz gobo | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 3:25 PM
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Hey Sir Kraab, what time does Bark N Purr close?


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 3:27 PM
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Sir Kraab, why is the sky blue?


Posted by: Walt Someguy | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 3:30 PM
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Dogue.


Posted by: JRoth | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 3:31 PM
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176: She'll probably ask me and then tell you that I seem to remember it's because of neon in the atmosphere. Maybe not neon, mabye another element.


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 3:32 PM
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Rayleigh scattering. Doesn't much matter what the molecules are. You're welcome.


Posted by: lw | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 3:34 PM
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Walt, I think it's the neon.


Posted by: Sir Kraab | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 3:34 PM
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Or else the rayleigh scattering.


Posted by: Sir Kraab | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 3:35 PM
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And then she'll chuckle, 'cause that's wrong.


Posted by: soup biscuit | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 3:35 PM
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I was just playing along so M/tch wouldn't feel unmanly.


Posted by: Sir Kraab | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 3:36 PM
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Why is dirt brown?


Posted by: rob helpy-chalk | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 3:43 PM
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||
I'm pretty sure I need to go on hiatus from here again
|>


Posted by: soup biscuit | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 3:43 PM
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I agree that "Detroit" is a good name.


Posted by: Lemmy Caution | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 3:44 PM
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poop, mostly


Posted by: lw | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 3:47 PM
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What is the white stuff in bird poop?


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 3:49 PM
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"Detroit" is my favorite so far, but it should be pronounced "Deeee-troit."


Posted by: Bave Dee | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 3:49 PM
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188: Pee, I thought.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 3:50 PM
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Sperm? Cotton candy?


Posted by: Bave Dee | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 3:51 PM
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190: pretty much, yeah.


Posted by: soup biscuit | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 3:52 PM
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I am fond of Flickr, but the way the photos show up in the reverse order of what one had in mind is indeed vexing.


Posted by: redfoxtailshrub | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 3:52 PM
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The correct answer is "that is also bird poop".


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 3:53 PM
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Why don't ducks fly backward?


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 3:54 PM
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A bird flew into my bedroom at 7am this morning and pooped and shed feathers all over my things after I ran out screaming.


Posted by: Armsmasher | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 3:55 PM
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The direction they fly is ipso facto forward.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 3:55 PM
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188: Urea, which is basically pee.


Posted by: washerdreyer | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 3:56 PM
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196 is hilarious. I'm sure it sucked, but.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 3:57 PM
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THE CORRECT FUCKING ANSWER IS "THAT IS ALSO BIRD POOP".


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 3:57 PM
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196: That house just attracts urban wildlife, doesn't it.


Posted by: rob helpy-chalk | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 3:58 PM
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What kind of man is afraid of little birds?


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 4:03 PM
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Urea, which is basically pee.

If it was urea, they would pee. It's uric acid mostly.

THE CORRECT FUCKING ANSWER IS "THAT IS ALSO BIRD POOP".

WMYBSALB?


Posted by: soup biscuit | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 4:06 PM
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I did not risk a close look at it, but the bird seemed to fall somewhere between angered falcon/cockatrice and rabid albatross in size, temper, and ferocity. It might have been an heretofore unknown species altogether.


Posted by: Armsmasher | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 4:07 PM
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Since the dog looks like a mop, one could call him Lavette, which is suitably french sounding.


Posted by: Tassled Loafered Leech | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 4:07 PM
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204: In other words, a sparrow.


Posted by: soup biscuit | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 4:08 PM
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It certainly contained a lot more poop & feathers than you'd expect of a sparrow.


Posted by: Armsmasher | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 4:09 PM
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Did it say "Nevermore"?


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 4:13 PM
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No, that would be like naming your cat Garfield.

1. Not if you pronounced it dough-bear.
2. Or like naming your child Charlie Brown, or something like that, yeah.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 4:13 PM
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looking at my todo's on one hand and procrastination index on the other (a complicated function, but roughly proportional to unfogged refreshes) i'm going to piss off for at least the rest of the month. have fun all!


Posted by: soup biscuit | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 4:16 PM
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Great moments in the evolution of animal behavior, the development of urohydrosis (birds pissing/crapping on their legs to help control their tempature via evaporative cooling). All the cool kids will be doing it when we really get into the Global Warming thing.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 4:23 PM
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I've met the raven, Master Emerson.


Posted by: Armsmasher | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 4:29 PM
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208 French ravens far more poetic than American ones, "Jamais plus" pwns "Nevermore"*.

*(from a James Thurber piece)


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 4:51 PM
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Well, supposing that this really was an albatross, all you'll need is a skylark to complete the avian tour of English poetry.

`Hold off ! unhand me, grey-beard loon !',
Bird thou never wert--
Quoth the Raven, Nevermore.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 4:56 PM
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214: Starlings (native to Europe) came to the Americas when they were released into Central Park in 1890 as part of a project to introduce all of the birds found in Shakespeare in New York.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 5:03 PM
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I've thought of Dinan (ancient capital of Bretagne that we once visited); Déboucher (to uncork, after one of our favorite pastimes); Bagad (traditional Breton musical group); Galette (savoury buckwheat pancake); Lambig (Breton version of Calvados); and Dodu (chubby).

OK, here's two serious suggestions: Doigt (finger, after his shape), or Doré (golden)

Oh for crying out loud. Why not just call it "Fuck You America"?


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 5:03 PM
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216: Freedom Fido.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 5:05 PM
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Des Esseintes


Posted by: minneapolitan | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 5:15 PM
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218 FTW.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 5:21 PM
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Dirty Harry
Dorsal Fin
Derbyshire

One of my cats is named Doobie (inherited from the neighbors).


Posted by: Mo MacArbie | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 5:25 PM
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219: Soon I shall have an orange bedroom.


Posted by: minneapolitan | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 5:30 PM
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Dongshore.

***

LA mini-meetup at Rose Cafe at 9 am Sunday. Absurd hour in honor of Napi getting into LAX at 6:00 am.


Posted by: Wrongshore | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 6:00 PM
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217: Ol' Europe.


Posted by: Katherine | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 6:09 PM
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216 cracked me up.


Posted by: Sir Kraab | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 6:16 PM
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How cute are these cows? (Facebook link.)


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 6:19 PM
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Pretty cute.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 6:24 PM
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Debrouillard.


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 7:03 PM
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9 am Sunday? You people so suck.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 7:10 PM
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We could make it very late Saturday night if that's more appealing. You could take PK to Santa Monica to watch Glow and then meet the dude at the airport.

(Yes, it's so marginal a time that I even hesitated to call it a meetup. But I'm no hesitater. I'm guessing it's a meetup of two, though.)


Posted by: Wrongshore | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 7:17 PM
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Glow actually looks like lovely fun!

I'm panicking over house buying and money and financial planning and other crap that neither my parents nor my husband's ever knew (and therefore didn't teach us shit about), and my (slightly unfair, but not entirely) feeling that I'm the one taking the lead here and I do not want to fuck up and make a bad decision but it would really help if Mr. B. wouldn't throw "you do realize . . ." caveats in after he's already supposedly agreed to things. I fucking *hate* this shit.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 7:25 PM
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John Emerson- your grandnephew is adorable. The next time you try to steal the Ruprecht's thunder you will be severely punished.


Posted by: Fleur | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 7:30 PM
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Oh for crying out loud. Why not just call it "Fuck You America"?

Don't tempt Fleur, she might go for that one.


Posted by: Knecht Ruprecht | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 7:39 PM
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How about

"Osama"
"Abu Zubaydah"
"La ilaha illAllah, wa Muhammadur Rasul Allah". That one would be fun to yell out the window when he runs off.


Posted by: peter | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 7:42 PM
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THE CORRECT FUCKING ANSWER IS "THAT IS ALSO BIRD POOP".

Don't be silly, Ben. It's nougat.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 7:44 PM
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Fuck You America

Extra good if you have to go outside and call for the dog to come home.


Posted by: mrh | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 7:46 PM
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All right, Mineshaft. What do you say to the name Cartouche ("cartridge")?

It's a two-fer, in that it alludes to both his breed heritage *and* his morphology. And it's reasonably easy to pronounce. It doesn't begin with a D, but c'mon, it's getting late.


Posted by: Knecht Ruprecht | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 7:50 PM
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Further to 236, the word douille ("dowel", with a secondary meaning of "shell casing") begins with D and has all the advantages of cartouche except for ease of pronunciation.


Posted by: KR | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 7:53 PM
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I dig it.


Posted by: Wrongshore | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 8:01 PM
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I particularly liked the suggestions of Lafayette, Le Dog, and Didier. I think Demi is cute- but would people think we named the dog after the actress? Denier (penny, small coin) could be Denny for the four year old, or Destin ?

"Fuck You America" has a nice ring to it- but the kids would just end up running around yelling "Fucky, Fucky!!!" and we can't have that.


Posted by: Fleur | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 8:08 PM
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How much time did you guys spend choosing your kids' names?


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 8:12 PM
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I think Cartouche would be more of an Egyptian thing.


Posted by: m. leblanc | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 8:16 PM
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the kids would just end up running around yelling "Fucky, Fucky!!!" and we can't have that.

This is very funny. Thanks, Fleur.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 8:20 PM
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240- A very, very long time. I have an aversion to all things Biblical, and for Knecht any name that doesn't have centuries of meaning behind it just doesn't have enough substance.
We settled on a Greek name for our first, and a French family name for our second.


Posted by: Fleur | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 8:22 PM
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Anyway, you should let the kid name the dog. Isn't that kinda the point of pets?


Posted by: m. leblanc | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 8:24 PM
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Further to 236, the word douille ("dowel", with a secondary meaning of "shell casing") begins with D and has all the advantages of cartouche except for ease of pronunciation.

I say you go with "Système D".


Posted by: Josh | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 8:35 PM
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244 to 31

The problem with letting the kids name the dog is that the level of sibling rivalry in our house is at an all time high. They *can't* agree on a name, so we need to come up with one to keep the peace and have them both feel equally invested in the dog. They endorse the idea of giving him a French name.


Posted by: Fleur | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 8:43 PM
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Apologies, but I've only read some of the thread. Double apologies if someone has already suggested "Denis Diderot." Or just Denis. Or just Diderot. Though I'm not overly fond of just Diderot. But Didi, as his friends called him (I'm making that part up), is pretty good. And easy for the four-year-old. Plus, I really like having two names for a dog, as it makes them much easier to scold. Not that he'll ever need to be disciplined. No, like your children, he'll be perfect all the time.

I could tell you all the other reasons this is a good idea. But you should just trust me; I'm very good with dogs, something of a guru, really.


Posted by: ari | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 9:00 PM
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Ooh! Ooh! I know!

Dunkirk.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 9:15 PM
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249

If you name the dog "Death Race" maybe you could get a kick-back from Universal Studios.


Posted by: Walt Someguy | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 9:33 PM
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We settled on a Greek name for our first

In the name of Iris, I command you to reveal!


Posted by: JRoth | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 9:39 PM
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Xanthippe.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 9:41 PM
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The dog needs to be named "Dealbreaker."


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 9:51 PM
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248: Dunkirk.

Digger (I actually like this name for a dog, got it from an Aussie friend)
D-Day
Dhimmi
Dien Bien Phu
Doggy (what I would have called a pet dog as a kid if my dad named it Cartouche)



Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 9:54 PM
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Doggy (what I would have called a pet dog as a kid if my dad named it Cartouche)

But only because you weren't quite old enough to call the dog, "My dad is a tool of a world-historical proportions."


Posted by: ari | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 9:59 PM
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Cartouche . . . doesn't begin with a D, but c'mon, it's getting late.

Douche.

Problem solved.


Posted by: Sir Kraab | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 10:01 PM
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Another suggestion from M/tch: Sunshine Peppercorn. So many nickname possibilities!

Sunny
Shiny
Peppery
Corny
Peppershine (my personal favorite)
Suncorn
Etc.


Posted by: Sir Kraab | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 10:03 PM
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In the end, it's silly to want a dog's name to bear so much significance.

I'm still going to name my cats Finn MacCool and Hermes Trismegistus, and maybe Palinurus, but it's different with cats.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 10:07 PM
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Sir Kraab, why do people die? I don't mean why people I don't like die, because that's totally awesome. I mean everyone else. Really, I mean me.


Posted by: Walt Someguy | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 10:10 PM
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246: the level of sibling rivalry in our house is at an all time high.

Now's the time to set them up for productive therapy. Develop a nonsensical scheme that gives only one of them the right to name the dog. Give them both small notebooks to write down this traumatic incident and the ones that follow. It saves time on the couch later.


Posted by: Biohazard | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 10:14 PM
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247: Which cats would those be?


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 10:37 PM
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260: You mean 257, right? Because I mentioned no cats in 247. In fact, I keep my cat's identity pretty much of a secret. For all the usual reasons.


Posted by: ari | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 10:47 PM
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The hypothetical cats I might someday have, obviously.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 10:49 PM
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Finn MacCool, Hermes Trismegistus, and Palinurus.


Posted by: beamish | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 10:58 PM
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261: Right, Ben's imaginary cats.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 11:15 PM
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Imaginary cats, imaginary friends, the internet and its denizens are a bit confusing, if if you ask me.


Posted by: ari | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 11:36 PM
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222 -- Wrong end of stick. I'm in Torrance right now. Leaving Sunday just after noon.


Posted by: Nápi | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 11:41 PM
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I had a friend this close to naming his dog Microsoft, but his SO shot it down. Neither here nor there in KR and FR's case.

I second max's suggestion of De Gaulle. Then when someone asks about the name's origin, you can say "No one believed we'd have De Gaulle to name it that." And laugh and laugh.

Point being: I shouldn't be allowed to name stuff.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 11:46 PM
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266: So wait, maybe we should have a get together tomorrow eveningish? I might could do that....


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 11:48 PM
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In my continuing vein of unhelpful suggestions, I will offer more anecdotes:

-My mom has a cat named Gabin (sp?), French, she says, for "street urchin". (I don't speak French, so I don't know on the spelling.)

-My mom's other cat is named Bizcocho, Spanish for "cookie". My brother uncharitably mispronounces the cat's nickname, "Bizi" as "Feces", presumably because he's a twelve-year-old boy in a 28-year-old's body.

-My roommate's cat is named Captain, though I call him "Leftenant." Another friend misheard the name as "Kevin", and we decided the cat's full name was Captain Kevin McCallister, until realizing that was too close to the Home Alone kid's name. We still call him Kevin though. Funny name for a cat, I guess.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 07-18-08 11:57 PM
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266-268: I'm confused, but I'm still operating under the assumption that you have between ungodly 6:00 am and godly 11:30 am to operate. If it changes, holler! otherwise, early brunch it is.


Posted by: Wrongshore | Link to this comment | 07-19-08 12:06 AM
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Oh, you'd try to name him Trismegistus, but he'd just get called Tristram, and that's good for no one.

/sterne


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 07-19-08 12:09 AM
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Sir Kraab, why do people die? I don't mean why people I don't like die, because that's totally awesome. I mean everyone else. Really, I mean me.

The truth is that we can only take so much of you, Walt. No worries, though. We can probably grit our teeth for another few years.


Posted by: Sir Kraab | Link to this comment | 07-19-08 7:26 AM
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Darcy!


Posted by: | Link to this comment | 07-19-08 8:23 AM
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Delancey! Delauney!


Posted by: | Link to this comment | 07-19-08 8:24 AM
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D-Day. Then the goddamn cur will *never forget* how grateful he should be to America.


Posted by: PGD | Link to this comment | 07-19-08 8:59 AM
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275: Yeah, otherwise he'd be speaking German!


Posted by: minneapolitan | Link to this comment | 07-19-08 9:04 AM
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D(')arcy is an excellent choice for its triangulation of a certain amount of Frenchiness, an initial D, and the need to avoid sounding like an utter tool.


Posted by: redfoxtailshrub | Link to this comment | 07-19-08 9:20 AM
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I think Demi is cute- but would people think we named the dog after the actress?

Yes.

I once was group owner of a dog found abandoned as a pup out in the hill country. He had the huge head and neck of a pitbull, but long lanky legs, and he was incredibly affectionate and slobbery and adorable.

One of the other co-owners was a Classicist, and that plus a shared affection for august regal names for silly animals, led us to name him Hannibal. Hannibal Barker, in fact.

Three months later Silence of the Lambs came out.

It's hard to avoid the impression that you're a complete douche when people think you named your pitbull mix after a serial killer. "Well, when our rottweiler Ted Bundy died, we just had to get a replacement . . ."


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 07-19-08 9:28 AM
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278: That happened to me when I got a hamster in eighth grade and named her Simba, thinking that the Swahili for "lion" would make a somewhat funny name. Then The Lion King came out and I was deeply annoyed.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 07-19-08 9:46 AM
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Think of how many flannel-shirt-wearing shlubs were caught out in the early 90s.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 07-19-08 9:53 AM
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It's hard to avoid the impression that you're a complete douche when people think you named your pitbull mix after a serial killer.

I imagine saying, "No, we named him after a figure from classical history" doesn't entirely dispel this impression.


Posted by: Wrongshore | Link to this comment | 07-19-08 9:58 AM
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I suppose I shouldn't have named my pet hog Pickton either.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 07-19-08 10:12 AM
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281: But that's the whole point, putting a serious, fusty old name onto a bumbling slobbery creature.

I mean, naming your bichon frisee Hannibal would be douchey, but not so with this dog.


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 07-19-08 11:05 AM
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I can switch over to tonight, if that's more convenient. What with the short notice, and you people having lives. I'll be email reachable -- but not coment reading most of the day -- so if we're changing plans, let me know.

Unless I hear otherwise, though, I'll assume we're still on for 9 am Sunday.


Posted by: Nápi | Link to this comment | 07-19-08 11:35 AM
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I named a cat after Seymour Glass. Really the kitten was already named Seymour but they told me to change the name.

It was a great cat, a full tilt running cat, an excellent mouser and a chest rubnoses cat.

I made some mistakes, forgivable maybe, at least everybody else thinks I did nothing wrong. He died, horribly.


Posted by: bob mcmanus | Link to this comment | 07-20-08 12:22 AM
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I'll buy on a dead cat bounce in this thread.


Posted by: bob mcmanus | Link to this comment | 07-20-08 2:01 PM
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I'm dumbfounded that no one has yet suggested Drool. It is the essence of dog. And 4-year-old-able.


Posted by: grackle | Link to this comment | 07-20-08 8:13 PM
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So, um, did the Knechts decide on a name yet?


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 07-21-08 11:55 AM
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Yeah, I was sure I was going to read a decision on his name, in nearly 300 comments.

Dogtanian, of Dogtanian and the Three Muskehounds fame.


Posted by: asilon | Link to this comment | 07-21-08 6:30 PM
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I fear I am too late, but! I know the answer: Dudelsack, which, with its nods to Scotland and Germany, nearly brackets France. Besides, you could call him "Dudel" for short. As a coup de grace, Blume concurs.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 07-21-08 7:20 PM
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Not only is the dudelsack the best symbol for male genitalia ever (see Bosch and Breugel), but it can be hung on a wall. I can see why Sifu and Blume would recommend this name.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 07-21-08 7:26 PM
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267 & 278 made me laugh.
B's suggestion of "Dealbreaker" is the most apropos of our situation.
Apologies for the Ruprechts being so douchie about making a decision- My Mother warned me that I was incurring a lot of bad feng shui for leaving the poor animal nameless for so long.
I'm not sure what will happen as a result of all that, but she indicated that it would be bad.

Dudelsack is a little more erotic sounding than I am comfortable with, but Doodle could work very well! He is so sweet, floppy, and cute, a lot of the French names are just too much for him I feel.
Doodle could work.


Posted by: Fleur | Link to this comment | 07-21-08 7:51 PM
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Did the LA people ever meet up?

How did it go?


Posted by: Fleur | Link to this comment | 07-21-08 7:52 PM
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It was a meetupette. Napi and I had breakfast before he got on a plane. But the day before, jms and I drank and played pictionary, Bush Bush Revolution and Celebrity Sex War together, so altogether my weekend was a meetupina.

I strongly recommend both of them as breakfast, drinking, and stepping-on-Rumsfeld's-face companions.


Posted by: Wrongshore | Link to this comment | 07-21-08 8:12 PM
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How do you play Celebrity Sex War?


Posted by: The Chorus | Link to this comment | 07-21-08 8:15 PM
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You play Celebrity by writing names of famous people on scraps of paper, then drawing the names from a bowl and trying to get your team to guess the names.

At the end of the game, you have a bunch of slips of paper with names on them, so you play the old card game War. "Who would win, Jason Robards or B.A. Baracus?" If the group determines a tie, you go to war.

When the entertainment value of that runs out, you play Sex War. "Who would rather have sex with, Kermit the Frog or Angelina Jolie?"

I am not the sole inventor of Celebrity Sex War, but I was present at the creation. I am proud.


Posted by: Wrongshore | Link to this comment | 07-21-08 8:17 PM
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