Poor bastard. A few weeks ago, I had occasion to think of his disappearance, and I couldn't remember his name.
I do feel bad for him. Apparently there were back problems. But before this tournament he said something like "I've been playing better than the results suggest" after making one of twelve cuts. Damn.
Anderson Silva sure looked good tonight.
Well, the British Open's the one major Norman's succeeded in not choking away. Though, of course, he wouldn't be Greg Norman if he hadn't blown a couple of British Opens on top of the two he's won...
I note with satisfaction that Oscar Petronius didn't even qualify for the tournament.
No way could Oscar Pitronious beat NaAnderson Silva in golf. Absolutely no way.
Rampage Jackson would win the round after using his golf cart to disable his competitors.
"No knees to the head on the ground! Are you okay, Mr. Mickelson?"
Like he'd even need to bother with Mickelson, who long since stopped intelligently defending himself on the course.
The crowd quiets as Norman lines up for the putt. It's about thirty feet cutting left to right, and he has to be careful because these greens have been very fast this afte-- COLIN MONTGOMERY LANDS THE FLYING KNEE SQUARE ON HIS CHIN!
Oddly, it *would* seem more humane if somebody else choked Norman for him.
I've always wanted classical music to be more competitive, like guitar hero duels or blues matchups. Maybe the first violin and viola against the second violin and viola in one of Mozart's late quartets.
For some reason, I kind of hate Chris Everet. Norman must lose.
String battles structured like hip-hop emcee battles, in which the contestants insult each other with outrageous deployment of the portamento.
And very wide vibrato. And angry pizzicato.
17: wasn't that the plot of Devil Went Down To Georgia?
19: Strings, Sifu. Not these provincial "fiddles."
Chicken in the bread pan pickin' out dough
Granny will your dog bite, no child no
Yeah, dressed up people. Russians, Jews, Koreans, culture foreign types like that.
22: culture foreign types yes Yoda knows. Dressing in strange costume are.
Not Sifu barbarian wretches, no.
No wonder the devil lost-- a gold fiddle would sound like crap. Also, it's funny that he offered the deal because he was behind on quotas.
Tied now after 8. Harrington had actually caught him and gone ahead in the first several holes.
For some reason, I kind of hate Chris Everet.
For some reason? FOR SOME REASON? Perhaps because she's a robot. (And not the good kind -- sorry Jetpack.) And probably a Republican.
What the hell? What's with all the Chris Everett hating? I have no strong feelings either way and I thought everyone else shared my indifference, but apparently there are lots of Martina fans in the house.
28: You forget how much I hate America with its darling little tennis sprites. Give me the dyke from the Eastern Bloc any day.
And speaking of "what the hell?" What the hell is going on with the golf tournament. I'm nowhere near a teevee, I'm afraid, but the web seems to indicate that nobody is playing very well. Have mixed martial artists decimated the field, or something? Please advise.
Canada is part of the Eastern Bloc, in many respects. Bears, tundra, horrible serial killers, indigenous peoples, Medicine Hat, etc.
29: Actually it was some dreadful putting by both Norman and Harrington earl on. Norman seems safely out of the way at 3 back now. Ian Poulter (1 back, chance to win in the clubhouse) and Henrik Stenson actually played well.
Canada is part of the Eastern Bloc, in many respects. Bears, tundra, horrible serial killers, indigenous peoples, Medicine Hat, etc.
Of course, Lake Woebegone is part of Canada, in many respects, so make your own judgments...
It's the British Open, Ari. They do this passive-aggressive thing with their golf courses as a result of lingering bitterness over being an ex-power.
We did have a bear around here recently. First time in my lifetime, however.
The horrible serial killers are in Wisconsin, though.
Thanks, JP. Well, I'm sorry for Norman. But that's what he gets for marrying a soul-sucking robot. Although I suppose history suggests that he had no chance, regardless.
Somehow, it never occurred to me that Norman would actually choke on the last day. That seemed a little too on the nose to happen.
Somehow, it never occurred to me that Norman would actually choke on the last day.
You and that wank, Faldo. Nice company you keep. I suppose you're a big fan of Chrissie, too?
Yeah, 7 over through 14...it's like he came from out of nowhere to cement his reputation.
Y'know, he's hitting the ball really pure. But he's just not scoring. Golf is unfair like that.
If you people are eaten by bears I'll shed nary a tear. Fucking golf.
What the hell? What's with all the Chris Everett hating?
YEAH, SAVE IT FOR GREG NORMAN.
Harrington looks to have just sealed it with a fabulous shot to the green on 17. Decent shot at an eagle.
Chris Evert wept.
.. and we laughed!! (And Monica Seles grunted.)*
*Now there is someone to have some empathy for.
Unbelievable. Norman will have shot par, par, +1, +8. Way to live up to your rep, Greg. You've actually made me feel sorry for you.
I'd pay money to have the bears sent over, if y'all were all in one place, and if I had any money, and if there were a bear-delivery service near where you were.
Wow, I just saw Van de Velde's name on the board, tied for 19th. Hadn't thought about him for a while...
Harrington actually ended up with a good round. He just had some putting wobbles at the end of the front nine that temporarily let Norman and the field back into it.
Gasp, Norman gave Harrington's wife a kiss on the cheek when she came on the green. He's after her!
47:Hadn't thought about him for a while...
I did briefly when I saw that Harrington would have a 4-stroke lead going into 18 (Van de Velde was up 3). I'm suspect he flits through the mind of everyone going to the 18th with a multi-shot lead at that tournament.
Labs your golf knowledge seems awfully deep; from whence does your informed mien spring?
Wow, all of a sudden Sifu sounds really smart. Did he start wearing glasses or something?
Supposing such issues as proscribe my composed speech now enough for an air of cleverness speeds my pulse. Could I so easily and cheaply be reconcieved?
I pursue no goals sans E. Weed, as well, remains my companion.
Tweety, where are you exactly? I'm having a bear sent over.
You're a punchy motherfucker without your T.
The bear's name is Tettettetter.
I lack a couple more keys, you know. No simple deal, where evading John's bear's name's forbidden piece suffices. One and one more of an English word's basic building blocks are denied me. Some symbols foreswore, as well.
No wonder the devil lost-- a gold fiddle would sound like crap. Also, it's funny that he offered the deal because he was behind on quotas.
That was back in the 1970s, but everything is different in the new millineum. Satan is already turning away insufficiently evil souls and furiously building new inferno capacity in preparation for the demographic bubble that's going to hit Hell when Bush administration officials and their apologists reach their actuarial life expectancy. Hell has already accrued a $450 million accounting reserve for the Dick Cheney Perpetual Torment Complex alone.
Wow, all of a sudden Sifu sounds really smart.
He'd sound even smarter if he just said "whence". "From whence" is redundant.
I'll be darned. How could I have gotten so far along in life misusing whence?
(I actually have a "t" right now, but wow, easiest comment to write without using "t" ever.)