Re: 100 Pushups

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Not faithfully, but following the recommendations for repetitions and number of sets a couple of times a week.
Definitely different from just doing a bunch of pushups, either solo, or with kid on shoulders. I haven't retried maximum pushups. Not sure how to express solidarity in a comment box-- there are no tags for tired grunts.


Posted by: lw | Link to this comment | 08- 1-08 5:52 AM
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I just started week 1 this past Monday. Wow, it's hard. I'm thinking I'll redo the first week.


Posted by: Blume | Link to this comment | 08- 1-08 5:57 AM
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(I'm a day behind, because on the travel, so I'll finish week 1 tomorrow.)


Posted by: Blume | Link to this comment | 08- 1-08 5:57 AM
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I'm just looking at how finishing day 3 felt, and looking ahead to next week, and I don't see myself making that much progress in a week. Maybe, but I'm skeptical. And I started out with a reasonable base; I did 15 on my initial test.

What counts as good form? I'm getting down to arms at right angles, back and upper arms form a flat surface. If we're talking about nose to the ground, I could probably do maybe two or three, and should restart on that basis.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 08- 1-08 5:59 AM
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It does not seem silly as something to do to get back into exercising and I imagine you will show a lot of gains in how many pushups you can do, which can be satisfying. But as someone whose job once included trying to train people to do lots of pushups, I would be quite surprised that this program gets a lot of people to 100 pushups (that is, 100 pushups in a row without giving your arms a break by resting on your knees or stomach--100 pushups with breaks should be doable).


Posted by: Idealist | Link to this comment | 08- 1-08 6:02 AM
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Arms to right angles is as far as I've been going.


Posted by: Blume | Link to this comment | 08- 1-08 6:04 AM
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I've always done 'em nose to floor. But my pushup ability is pathetic. Maybe I should switch to right-angles and add some to my total.


Posted by: nattarGcM ttaM | Link to this comment | 08- 1-08 6:15 AM
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THis seems like the Atkins Diet of workout plans. But good luck.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 08- 1-08 6:16 AM
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7: Yeah, the difference in how hard it is to get down (or rather back up) those last two inches is startling. Maybe after going through this ridiculous thing, I'll try it again with nose-to-ground.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 08- 1-08 6:22 AM
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a couple of years ago, i set a goal of doing 1000 pushups in a week. it took about two months, but i did it. haven't done any since, of course. that's the problem with athletic goals.


Posted by: cleek | Link to this comment | 08- 1-08 6:23 AM
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My push-up ability is pathetic. I could do eight with nose-to-ground form. But, it is getting better, and while I doubt I'll be able to do 100 in a row, I figure it's better than my current exercise plan, which has dwindled to nothing.

I am convinced the weak link in my push-ups is my shoulders.


Posted by: Cala | Link to this comment | 08- 1-08 6:26 AM
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I'm really noticing sore abs. Not that they're terribly sore, but I don't think I've ever done enough pushups to make my abs sore before.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 08- 1-08 6:28 AM
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One way to start is to do pushups against your bathroom counter. That helps you start slowly and get some tone.


Posted by: Will | Link to this comment | 08- 1-08 6:30 AM
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I am convinced the weak link in my push-ups is my shoulders.

This, for me, definitely. Also, I tore a shoulder muscle a few years back [stupid cycling accident] and while it's back to normal now, there are certain angles where it hurts which messes with my pressups.

It doesn't seem to affect military presses or vertical exercises, oddly.

That's partly a cheap excuse though, as I've always been crap at pressups.


Posted by: nattarGcM ttaM | Link to this comment | 08- 1-08 6:30 AM
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13: Doesn't that sort of thing make more sense for someone who can't do any standard pushups at all? Not to be crochety, but that sounds like "you can get an excellent workout lifting soup cans."


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 08- 1-08 6:32 AM
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14: I don't have the excuse of having torn anything. Just smaller shoulders that are generally pretty flexible, so when it comes to either holding up my body weight or moving out of position, they're pro-moving.

15: Yeah. Knee push-ups would make more sense, but I refuse to do those on principle.


Posted by: Cala | Link to this comment | 08- 1-08 6:40 AM
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Get Your War On is now animated. It's cool. This could be a TV show.


Posted by: Gaijin Biker | Link to this comment | 08- 1-08 6:45 AM
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Well, if you're going to do it, maybe you should make a swimming post-style series out of it. (Unfogged Pushup League).

max
['You could use a pushup bar, I imagine.']


Posted by: max | Link to this comment | 08- 1-08 6:48 AM
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Doesn't that sort of thing make more sense for someone who can't do any standard pushups at all? Not to be crochety, but that sounds like "you can get an excellent workout lifting soup cans."

No.

standard push ups can place a lot of pressure on your shoulders and you have to be careful about your back.

As a result, a lot of people stop trying because they can only do a couple of them.

Do some inclined push ups (3 x 15) tonight and tell me how you feel. (Keep your back straight and come down until your chest hits the counter.)


Posted by: Will | Link to this comment | 08- 1-08 6:51 AM
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Cala and LB.

Try my suggestion. You can try them with your hands wider apart or better is with your hands shoulder length apart and elbows coming back close to your body.


Posted by: Will | Link to this comment | 08- 1-08 6:52 AM
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Funny you should link this. eekbeat just started this past week. Which reminded me I really needed to go to the gym. I'll probably hop on board if she sticks with it.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 08- 1-08 6:56 AM
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I'll be doing the last day of week 2 after work tonight. Which means the exhaustion test happens this weekend. I did 20 in the pre-test, so I'm curious to see if two weeks has made any difference.

The last day of week 6 for the low count is quite entertaining. I can't remember it exactly but it's something like 16, 16, 12, 12, 10, at least 42.


Posted by: Hank | Link to this comment | 08- 1-08 6:57 AM
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as someone whose job once included trying to train people to do lots of pushups

Christ, you guys really are hard on your 2L summers.


Posted by: Po-Mo Polymath | Link to this comment | 08- 1-08 7:00 AM
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So this is a lot of damned push ups.

Also, nose to the ground is proper form! C'mon people!

Am I doing that? I am definitely sort of doing that.

The thing I like about this program is that nobody has any reason to think it might work, except there's a spiffy looking web site.

But whatever, push ups are good!


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 08- 1-08 7:38 AM
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20: Too easy to be worthwhile.


Posted by: Cala | Link to this comment | 08- 1-08 7:38 AM
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The thing I like about this program is that nobody has any reason to think it might work, except there's a spiffy looking web site.

No, but it doesn't look dangerous or like it's relying on crazy assumptions, either.


Posted by: Cala | Link to this comment | 08- 1-08 7:42 AM
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Yeah. Will, I've actually exercised occasionally before, and I've done incline pushups. They're really not a comparable workout -- I can do them until I get bored. If I had a setup where I could change the height of the counter at will, I could see it being a useful way to increase resistance by gradually lowering the counter, but without that, they're pointless. YMMV.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 08- 1-08 7:43 AM
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The thing I like about this program is that nobody has any reason to think it might work, except there's a spiffy looking web site

This is totally it. Credibility through graphic design!


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 08- 1-08 7:44 AM
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Push-ups really are good. Every little public park should have one of those handy training areas with the two 6-inch-high wooden blocks set about 3 feet apart for push-ups, the two parallel bars for dips, and a couple pull-up bars. Between those three exercises and some ab/back work using those same bars, you can get a really great upper body workout.


Posted by: Po-Mo Polymath | Link to this comment | 08- 1-08 7:45 AM
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the two 6-inch-high wooden blocks set about 3 feet apart for push-ups

????

Isn't that what the ground is for? What do you do with the blocks, put your feet against them or something?


Posted by: ajay | Link to this comment | 08- 1-08 7:47 AM
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I love those little outdoor bits of apparatus, because I'm always completely mystified by what you're supposed to do with at least one thing. (Like, my local park has things like that. Pullup bar I get. Incline boards at various angles for situps I get. The post with ~3" wide boards slanting down to the ground from it at varying heights? Some kind of slanty balance beam thing or what?)


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 08- 1-08 7:48 AM
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The program doesn't look that different from the 5BX program, as far as I can see from a superficial glance. In terms of the push-up element, anyway.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/5BX

This kind of program has a venerable history.


Posted by: nattarGcM ttaM | Link to this comment | 08- 1-08 7:50 AM
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re: 30

They let you get your chest lower. Makes it harder, I think. Also, I think, for some people, the change in hand position is easier on the wrists and shoulders.


Posted by: nattarGcM ttaM | Link to this comment | 08- 1-08 7:54 AM
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re: 32

I remember my father doing these exercises in the morning before work when I was a kid in the early- to mid-1960s.

I think this pushup program is more like the old program of pick up a newborn calf and lift it over a fence. Repeat daily, and in a year or two you can lift a full-grown bull.


Posted by: Idealist | Link to this comment | 08- 1-08 7:55 AM
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30: Nah, they're just helpful if it's rained recently and you don't want to get a fist covered in mud. Plus, they let you dip down to the level of your hands or even slightly below, in case you're feeling all range-of-motion-y and somewhat masochistic.

Some kind of slanty balance beam thing or what?

Oh yeah! I think I've seen those!

I've got no idea what they could be useful for either, but I know I loved running up and down them as a kid. Maybe that's what they're there for? Just to allow adults with kids 5 more minutes of time while the kid is amusing his or herself in order to get in a last couple sets?


Posted by: Po-Mo Polymath | Link to this comment | 08- 1-08 7:55 AM
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I've been thinking about joining in on this, but I keep not doing it so as to not have my "day off" overlap with my regularly-scheduled workouts. This week my trainer had me doing very, very slow pushups (about ten seconds per cycle); two weeks ago he had me doing pushups (on an incline) with enough velocity that I could lift my hands off the surface and clap between them.


Posted by: Nathan Williams | Link to this comment | 08- 1-08 7:55 AM
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they're just helpful if it's rained recently and you don't want to get a fist covered in mud

If it ain't raining, it ain't training. Grrr.


Posted by: ajay | Link to this comment | 08- 1-08 7:57 AM
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My pushup ability is so poor [I weigh a fuck of a lot so I'm on the wrong side of the strength/bodyweight bell curve] that I think I'd benefit more from doing some other tricep and shoulder work for a few weeks and then giving it a go.


Posted by: nattarGcM ttaM | Link to this comment | 08- 1-08 7:59 AM
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37: Sure, but then you just try and get a grip on that muddy, slippery metal pull-up bar. Hmm? You just try it!

(or just do push-ups on the ground, those work just fine n' dandy)


Posted by: Po-Mo Polymath | Link to this comment | 08- 1-08 8:01 AM
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Or you could start this up with right-angle-arm rather than nose-to-ground form, which my sources (hi, Ideal) tell me is US military standard. And then work on nose-to-ground when you've made some progress with right-angle-arm, which is my plan.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 08- 1-08 8:02 AM
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The post with ~3" wide boards slanting down to the ground from it at varying heights? Some kind of slanty balance beam thing or what?

Blume and I were at a park where the instructions for the outdoor exercise equipment hadn't completely washed away, recently, and I believe you're supposed to lay on your back on the board, grab the pole with your hands, and lift your legs up to your shoulders or whatever.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 08- 1-08 8:04 AM
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38: I'm finding I have this problem as well, but doing push ups until you're tired is worthwhile in any case.

I think my only hope for completing this in a reasonable amount of time is running enough that I lose significant amounts of weight. Otherwise it doesn't seem plausible that I could gain enough muscle mass to lift my bulky ass that many times.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 08- 1-08 8:05 AM
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38: It really doesn't start off all that hard, and it does end up being a small tricep and shoulder workout. From what you've said, you're about the same size as shivbunny, and he doesn't even do savate like you do.


Posted by: Cala | Link to this comment | 08- 1-08 8:05 AM
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The boards looked awfully narrow for that -- like, I suppose you could do it, but your weight would be all on your spine and tailbone.

And my parents had that book of Canadian Airforce Exercises too -- I think I tried it a couple of times as a teen. I remember the jumps from level to level being problematic; like, I'd max out on one level, and then it would introduce a new exercise I couldn't do at all.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 08- 1-08 8:07 AM
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So, I saw about a week ago that someone here (Cala?) was trying it and started week one.

Like most exercises, the value of the plan depends on your baseline. For some people, push-ups are just very, very hard. Imagine, by analogy, if someone set out the "25 pull-up" plan. If 20 nose-to-the-floor pushups is not baseline, 100 seems really, really, unlikely to happen in 6 weeks, or, indeed, ever.


Posted by: baa | Link to this comment | 08- 1-08 8:15 AM
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You know, I did 21 in the initial test, and I'm still finding this pretty darn difficult. I dunno what that means; it takes my muscles a long time to recover? I should eat more Wheaties? I was juiced on horse testosterone the day I did the initial test?


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 08- 1-08 8:20 AM
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45: That's my intuition as well. One of the things that really sets off my "this can't possibly work, can it?" reaction to the plan is the presence of the track for people who start out unable to do 5 pushups -- moving from less than 5 to 10 or more seems like a fairly big project in itself.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 08- 1-08 8:22 AM
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17 re the animated Get Your War On: That looks pretty damn good. Shit. Another weekly drain on my time.

The whole 100 Pushups thing: That looks pretty damn good. Shit. Another weekly drain on my time.


Posted by: My Alter Ego | Link to this comment | 08- 1-08 8:26 AM
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On the other hand, if you read the text, there's a whole lot of "if you're not doing X by now, repeat the previous week". Taking that literally, anyone who fails simply hasn't followed directions -- the plan might take an indeterminate amount of time, but it hasn't made any actual promises about how much time it will take. Under that standard, of course, I could set out the infailable 45 pullup plan right now.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 08- 1-08 8:27 AM
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120 seconds of break before the max test seems like too little. I'd suggest a 4 min+ break before you try the max set, maybe even more.

moving from less than 5 to 10 or more seems like a fairly big project in itself.

Exactly.


Posted by: baa | Link to this comment | 08- 1-08 8:27 AM
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I believe you're supposed to lay on your back on the board, grab the pole with your hands, and lift your legs up to your shoulders or whatever

Huh. I guess that works. If you're a 7-year old girl!

Everyone knows this is the real ab exercise. The only problem is getting an old Chinese dude to help every time you want to work out.


Posted by: Po-Mo Polymath | Link to this comment | 08- 1-08 8:27 AM
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On the other hand, if you read the text, there's a whole lot of "if you're not doing X by now, repeat the previous week"

Yep. I wonder if the 6 week thing isn't a bit of a red herring, really.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 08- 1-08 8:28 AM
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Fug. The dogs are on me for a walk. Gotta go.

88 degrees with a 75 dewpoint equals heat index of 97 at 9:00 AM. Bad bad Dallas summer.

I am not shy about changing clothes in front of the dogs, but I am slightly fearful of the male snapping at my scrotum. Which reminds of Graham Chapman, who frequently dipped his dick in a pint and let the bardog lick it clean. I probably read that here.

My OT trolling of the day. Pushups will start when it gets cooler, I think.


Posted by: bob mcmanus | Link to this comment | 08- 1-08 8:28 AM
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>the 6 week thing isn't a bit of a red herring

We'll have a good test of this. I know people trying who started at a baseline of 15, 35, and 55.


Posted by: baa | Link to this comment | 08- 1-08 8:30 AM
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Damn, there's a lot of people trying this.

WTF, internet: a push up meme? What's next?


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 08- 1-08 8:34 AM
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moving from less than 5 to 10 or more seems like a fairly big project in itself

I think that depends a lot on what's holding someone back. If someone is quite heavy and hasn't worked out their upper-body much, then there's a lot of strength building to go before they can get to doing a fair number of push-ups, and that takes a while.

If someone's of fairly normal weight and not terribly past 50, and they're just having trouble because they've never really done any upper-body exercise, it's amazing how quickly gains can come just from training the muscles fibers to fire simultaneously.


Posted by: Po-Mo Polymath | Link to this comment | 08- 1-08 8:36 AM
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Probably makes sense to add crunches to this at a 2 crunch-1 push-up ratio. Hershel Walker, here we come!


Posted by: baa | Link to this comment | 08- 1-08 8:36 AM
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the 6 week thing isn't a bit of a red herring

I thought it was sort of an arbitrary timeline. Presumably after you get to 100, you keep doing the push-ups on an ongoing basis, right? So whether it takes 6, 7, 8 weeks to get there, you're still doing something.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 08- 1-08 8:38 AM
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WTF, internet: a push up meme? What's next?

Think about how you want to look in those wedding photos, Sifu! (So that your children can laugh at you in your old age and say, "Dad, I can't believe you used to be so buff and handsome!")


Posted by: Knecht Ruprecht | Link to this comment | 08- 1-08 8:42 AM
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57: heh, I've been thinking of doing that.

It's an isometric fun-fair!


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 08- 1-08 8:44 AM
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"Dad, I can't believe you used to be so buff and handsome!"

Is it even possible to look particularly buff in a tuxedo? Or are Sifu and Blume actually going through with the cage-match silk trunks wedding?


Posted by: Po-Mo Polymath | Link to this comment | 08- 1-08 8:49 AM
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Where are you on the Manny aftermath, Sifu?


Posted by: baa | Link to this comment | 08- 1-08 8:52 AM
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61: Somewhere in between. No way in hell am I wearing a long white thing.


Posted by: Blume | Link to this comment | 08- 1-08 8:55 AM
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64: I'm a big fan of the 'Just buy a gorgeous dress' approach. I got married in a long white thing, but it was an off-the-rack evening gown rather than a 'wedding dress', and it was a quarter the price and much cooler (IMO) than a wedding dress would have been.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 08- 1-08 8:58 AM
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64: Yes, and then you can wear it on subsequent evenings, too.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 08- 1-08 8:59 AM
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Is it even possible to look particularly buff in a tuxedo?

Sifu's a WASP. They don't wear tuxedoes before 6pm.

I'm betting on a morning coat, striped trousers, cravatte, and top hat.


Posted by: Knecht Ruprecht | Link to this comment | 08- 1-08 9:00 AM
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Not so much. Unless someone throws a Nutcracker theme ball, in which case my Snow Princess outfit is ready to go. But it was still a great dress.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 08- 1-08 9:01 AM
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62: seems like it was time. One nice thing about growing up where I did is that my primary rooting interest on the Red Sox is the GM: go, hometown boy, rock that trade deadline!

I will miss him, though. The greatest pothead in baseball history.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 08- 1-08 9:01 AM
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63: Your bridesmaids can wear matching sports bras and trunks, but they still have to be in an unflattering color.

I recommend the groomsmen wear bowties and remember that baby oil goes well with anything while stopping the opponent from getting a good body grip.


Posted by: Po-Mo Polymath | Link to this comment | 08- 1-08 9:01 AM
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No way in hell am I wearing a long white thing.

I'm pretty certain you're technically disqualified, under traditional rules.


Posted by: Knecht Ruprecht | Link to this comment | 08- 1-08 9:01 AM
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Sifu's a WASP. They don't wear tuxedoes before 6pm.

At the wedding we went to recently the men were in seersucker. Not recommended, by my lights.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 08- 1-08 9:02 AM
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Wedding photos were a huge workout motivation, not for me, but for my mother. I hate thinking like that (no one asked my dad to get buff 'for pictures'), but in her case, it seems to have done her some actual good. In the eleven months between engagement and wedding, she went from never exercising before in her life to working out 3-4 times per week.

And the habit seems to have stuck. She's kept at it, and had her motivation started to slip, well, my sister got engaged....

64: Plus, it avoids the problem of what to do with the gown afterwards. Mine's still sitting in my sister's closet.


Posted by: Cala | Link to this comment | 08- 1-08 9:07 AM
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I'm pretty certain you're technically disqualified, under traditional rules.

I'm trying to think of the last white-clad bride I can think of who wasn't.


Posted by: Blume | Link to this comment | 08- 1-08 9:08 AM
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I'm probably going to regret this, sticking my head out, but here goes.

I've dabbled at strength training almost my whole life, but I'm no 'expert.'

Push-ups, or the bench-press, similar moves, are a good safe exercise. As LizardBreath said, you will find that with pushups some part of the movement is going to be harder than the other. If you are going to be a purist then, yeah, you should probably do what feels hardest, keeping your butt down and going all the way down and up. You know what I mean. No reaching, no cheating.

That will work the muscles involved as completely as possible with that move.

But along with proper form there is also the idea that being able to do 8-12 reps before failure is the 'best' way to strengthen a muscle. Because with push-ups you are stuck with pretty much one weight to use if you initially can't do 8-12 reps you then have to modify the move to get less weight.

If you can only do one perfect pushup you are better off instead starting with a move where you can perfectly do 8-12 reps. As mentioned inclines are good for that but they also modify the angle which changes the muscles involved.

So what to do?

Try to get to 8-12 reps as a start. Change the move if you need to. Also, be aware of DOMS - delayed onset muscle soreness. Start small, don't overdo it or you'll get so sore you'll be discouraged. Have faith that DOMS go away fairly soon. What really makes you sore at the start will hardly bother you in a week or two. You will be able to stress your muscles to failure without DOMS fairly soon.

And military presses are not really recommended, at least with super heavy weights. They are too tough on the shoulders. Be careful with them.


Posted by: Tripp | Link to this comment | 08- 1-08 9:09 AM
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Well, and of course there's never been any such rule. The traditional rule (for recent, short-term levels of traditional) was colors for the second wedding. There's never been a rule that deflowered brides on their first marriage should wear colors -- how could that plausibly have worked?


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 08- 1-08 9:09 AM
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how could that plausibly have worked?

Everyone lied.


Posted by: Blume | Link to this comment | 08- 1-08 9:11 AM
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Trying this would probably depress me (which means I should).

I'll smaintain I probably did a lifetimes worth of pushups by 18 or so, my coach loved em. 250 a workout. And handstand pushups. I can't even imagine now.

But..... those of you who are finding it hard to do an even small number, you should really think a bit about your core muscles and abs. You can't do a proper pushup without them working, and for many people this is the weak link. Doing just pushups isn't very effective at that, particularly core. You don't want to train in compensation of other muscle groups.


Posted by: soup biscuit | Link to this comment | 08- 1-08 9:11 AM
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76: Sure, but it's not like it was ever a rule that was set up to work at all. There's never been a time, traditional or not, where a woman getting married for the first time would walk into a bridal salon and have the saleswoman ask "Is mademoiselle intact, or will we be shopping from the slut rack?"


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 08- 1-08 9:15 AM
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88 degrees with a 75 dewpoint equals heat index of 97 at 9:00 AM. Bad bad Dallas summer.

BASTARD!

Anyways I don't see it as particularly difficult to get to 100... I was doing 40, 35, 30 on the track during the daily walks. The main problem was getting to 100 in one shot.

Although, after a year of not using the pushup bar, I seem to be down to 25. (Tried the pushup bar, ran into the same problem after four: elbow into the bookshelf. Ran upstairs tried it on the carpet, got 25. Figured that was enough.)

I suppose I should go do day one, huh?

max
['Ok, bookshelf moved.']


Posted by: max | Link to this comment | 08- 1-08 9:16 AM
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77: Yep. See my 12. I should probably be doing crunches too.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 08- 1-08 9:17 AM
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78: Aren't you being a bit overly literal here? I think we all agree there's no traditional rule, but haven't you ever heard (older, blahblah) wonder aloud or worry aloud that their daughter/niece/etc wouldn't be able to wear white?


Posted by: Cala | Link to this comment | 08- 1-08 9:17 AM
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re: 43

S avate is no kind of upper body workout at all. I'm wicked fast at hitting people.* But hitting people doesn't require me to move 220lbs of dead-weight from the floor. I suspect shivbunny does a lot more upper body exercise in his job.

S avate, otoh, is really good for lower body strength, some core strength [from the twisting] and great for balance.

If you want someone to help you push a car up a hill, I'm your guy. If you want someone to do pull-ups or push-ups, you'd be better finding a geriatric or a small child. I'm useless.

* Fast hands. I'm a pretty good boxer for a kickboxer, iyswim.**

** lots of people who do martial arts with a boxing element really aren't very good boxers.


Posted by: nattarGcM ttaM | Link to this comment | 08- 1-08 9:17 AM
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77 - soup biscuit

Good advice. If you are working your muscles to failure, as you should, then *something* is going to be the weak link. If you can identify that weak link you can work on that, too. That's how the people at the top keep improving.

Really, though, I think you mean that people should work on an overall, balanced approach to having a fit body. I totally agree.

Just be careful, though, because you may start out with push-ups and then want to strengthen your core, too, and then realize you need some cardio and if you are really extreme you'll want some flexibility and before you know it you'll be an exercise nut, and fit and healthy, too, and who wants to deal with that?


Posted by: Tripp | Link to this comment | 08- 1-08 9:18 AM
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I've gone through so many cycles of get-out-of-shape get-back-in-shape that I've lost my appetite for artifical fitness goals. I just try to, you know, work out a couple of times a week.

Although the Bild article has inspired me to get to work on outlifting Obama.

I will miss him, though. The greatest pothead in baseball history.

It seems like you guys got the worst of that deal. Probably it has to do with relative ages/salaries and long term considerations as Manny moves toward 40 (in the steroid-testing era!). You didn't have to make it -- Manny always pouts around the trade deadline and then gets better.


Posted by: PGD | Link to this comment | 08- 1-08 9:19 AM
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78: wouldn't the theory at the time have been that a bride who couldn't wear white shouldn't be a bride at all? Like, (just to force the analogy because, hey, it's a horrible tradition we're talking about, after all) it's not like there's a special label you put on food that's past its sell-by date, you just don't sell it.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 08- 1-08 9:20 AM
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80: I should probably be doing crunches too.

Yeah, but be real careful with this. You don't want to go overboard and be, like, totally fit or something extreme like that.


Posted by: Tripp the Crazed | Link to this comment | 08- 1-08 9:21 AM
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And as far as "weak links" go -- for me it's my shoulders. They snap and crackle like rice krispies when I do pushups. I really need to find an exercise that's effective in strengthening whatever supports that joint.


Posted by: PGD | Link to this comment | 08- 1-08 9:22 AM
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You don't want to go overboard and be, like, totally fit or something extreme like that

You should just start doing CrossFit now and get it over with.


Posted by: CJB | Link to this comment | 08- 1-08 9:22 AM
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It seems like you guys got the worst of that deal.

Getting a replacement player with better fielding and better production so far this season, and dropping a ton of salary off the books? Eh, not so bad. Hansen's a good pitcher, but the farm system remains strong. Moss is a pretty solid hitting fielder, but again they have a lot of depth there, both on the team and on farm teams.

Not so bad, I think.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 08- 1-08 9:22 AM
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81 expresses what I was alluding to. Hence the cliche of a "white wedding". This connotation might have been more prevalent in flyover country (from which Cala, Blume and I all hail) than in the decadent coastal metropoles.


Posted by: KR | Link to this comment | 08- 1-08 9:23 AM
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78/81: Didn't they just give her a big red "A" to wear or something?


Posted by: soup biscuit | Link to this comment | 08- 1-08 9:23 AM
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and who wants todeal with that? be Richard Simmons?


Posted by: soup biscuit | Link to this comment | 08- 1-08 9:24 AM
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If you want someone to help you push a car up a hill, I'm your guy. If you want someone to do pull-ups or push-ups, you'd be better finding a geriatric or a small child. I'm useless.

Hah, word. Anybody need any cars pushed uphill? Me 'n ttaM, we're there for you.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 08- 1-08 9:25 AM
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81, 85: Sure. There's certainly been a traditional 'no premarital screwing' rule. But framing it in terms of "wearing white" wasn't ever a real etiquette rule about dress color, rather than a snippy way of talking about the no-premarital-sex rule.

And 85: Not so much. Even in a 19th C millieu where people were taking the virginity thing seriously, it's never been a rule that there was anything wrong with a non-virgin getting married. Shameful that she should be a non-virgin, but marrying the guy she was screwing was the ideal, rather than remaining unmarried. See Pride & Prejudice, the Lydia/Wickham plotline.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 08- 1-08 9:26 AM
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shopping from the slut rack?

Is there a way to explain how to find this? I find myself dragged into women's clothing sections/stores occasionally, and knowing how to find this part of the store would help a lot.


Posted by: lw | Link to this comment | 08- 1-08 9:26 AM
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This bride cracks me up. Actually, pretty much everything about this photo cracks me up.


Posted by: Blume | Link to this comment | 08- 1-08 9:28 AM
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She is so considering beaning him with the bouquet.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 08- 1-08 9:29 AM
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She looks like she's about to smack him in the face with the bouquet.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 08- 1-08 9:29 AM
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Is there a way to explain how to find this?

Look for the store called "Hollister" in the mall.


Posted by: Knecht Ruprecht | Link to this comment | 08- 1-08 9:30 AM
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The Northern White Pwn is as majestic as it is unexpected.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 08- 1-08 9:30 AM
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82: Fast hands is so important for sword/stick weapons. This was not one of my strengths.

94.1: You seem to be the only one genuinely entertaining the possibility of the slut rack. I'm just saying, I certainly didn't read KR as postulating a hypothetical historical hymen check, just teasing Blume.


Posted by: Cala | Link to this comment | 08- 1-08 9:31 AM
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96: Yes. To be fair though, you try posing in such a way that you can remain motionless for minutes sometime.


Posted by: soup biscuit | Link to this comment | 08- 1-08 9:31 AM
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I've gone through so many cycles of get-out-of-shape get-back-in-shape that I've lost my appetite for artifical fitness goals.

I don't see the point in doing 100 pushups. If there were some activity I wanted to do, and I needed to get in better shape for, I could see working out. But, my current level of fitness allows me to do everything I need or want to do. Why would I waste time and energy building up superfluous fitness or strength that I don't need and will just eventually lose from not using?


Posted by: ed bowlinger | Link to this comment | 08- 1-08 9:32 AM
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The wikipedia page featuring the bouquet-clubber does seem to indicate that the virginity connection is an after-the-fact invention of some moralistic scold or other.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 08- 1-08 9:32 AM
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99: Oh, the times I have explained to my sister that shopping for surfing inspired wear in Pennsylvania is ridiculous.


Posted by: Cala | Link to this comment | 08- 1-08 9:33 AM
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89: yeah, in the genre of "deals that unload an aging, high-paid star" the Sox did quite well. The management is smart and so forth. It's just that Manny has some gas left in the tank and I think that this year specifically you would have been better off having him around for the stretch run.


Posted by: PGD | Link to this comment | 08- 1-08 9:34 AM
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101: I dunno. I think it's one of those things where people hear 'traditionally' and don't really think about it, and have this vague unexamined sense that there used to be a tradition like that. Of course it's obvious that there wasn't once you direct a little conscious attention at how it would work, I just like picking at that kind of thing. But of course KR was just teasing Blume about how mores have changed.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 08- 1-08 9:34 AM
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WTF, internet: a push up meme? What's next?

That was pretty much my reaction. It looks like a fun program, and I'm interested in trying it at some point, but I'll try it when it makes sense for me.

My exercise goal for this summer has been to play basketball at least once a week -- I had let my aerobic conditioning fall apart (along with the rest of my conditioning) and summer seems like a good time to work on that, because of the increased bicycling.


Posted by: NickS | Link to this comment | 08- 1-08 9:34 AM
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After World War I, as full-scale formal weddings began to be desired by the mothers of brides who did not have a permanent social secretary, the position of the "wedding planner" who could coordinate the printer, florist, caterer, seamstress, began to assume importance.

Oh, fallen world.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 08- 1-08 9:35 AM
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I have heard that this is supposed to be a good running plan: 'couch to 5k' in 8 weeks.


Posted by: Cala | Link to this comment | 08- 1-08 9:36 AM
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I think it's one of those things where people hear 'traditionally' and don't really think about it.

Heh, like popular conceptions of all of the 1950s.


Posted by: Blume | Link to this comment | 08- 1-08 9:36 AM
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104: big surprise.

103: below a certain fitness level, effects are pretty global. But sure, exercise for it's own sake is hard to stick with if you don't enjoy it, and not much point beyond enough to keep you healthy.


Posted by: soup biscuit | Link to this comment | 08- 1-08 9:37 AM
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This bride cracks me up. Actually, pretty much everything about this photo cracks me up.

Reminds me of this song (lyrics here).


Posted by: Knecht Ruprecht | Link to this comment | 08- 1-08 9:37 AM
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I am so like two days away from a full 5k run. Next cool day, just watch me!


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 08- 1-08 9:37 AM
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'couch to 5k' in 8 weeks.

beats the hell out of `couch to 5k' in an afternoon. Shin splints, ow.


Posted by: soup biscuit | Link to this comment | 08- 1-08 9:39 AM
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I don't see the point in doing 100 pushups. If there were some activity I wanted to do, and I needed to get in better shape for

Say you're lying on your stomach, just relaxing and taking a nap. Someone (or someTHING) comes up from beneath you and tries to get in your face. You have to shove s/he/it away. You'll be regretting the no pushups then.

Bench presses are useful for the somewhat more common situation where you're lying on your back, perhaps sunning yourself, and a bully tries to come over and sit on you.


Posted by: PGD | Link to this comment | 08- 1-08 9:40 AM
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The greatest pothead in baseball history

Yes, and a force of nature when on his game. A terrifying presence, capable of a tape-measure shot against any pitcher (K-Rod two nights ago, e.g.). I don't like the deal. If he absolutely had to go because of team chemistry issues, then this is acceptable salvage, I suppose.


Posted by: baa | Link to this comment | 08- 1-08 9:42 AM
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115: I made it through three weeks, and then I went out of town, and now it's August and about 60000000 degrees here.


Posted by: Cala | Link to this comment | 08- 1-08 9:43 AM
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113: Aber lieb sind sie doch!


Posted by: Blume | Link to this comment | 08- 1-08 9:43 AM
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110: I've actually done that couch-to-5k plan, and it worked out okay. I managed 24:18 in my 5k race after about 12 weeks. I even kept up the running, at least until I started law school and couldn't jog with my training partner anymore. It's a lot easier to run if you have someone to talk to while you're doing it.


Posted by: ed bowlinger | Link to this comment | 08- 1-08 9:46 AM
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'couch to 5k' in 8 weeks

Wow, that program is for people with an abysmal baseline. I'd think an unfit 20-something or early 30-something should still be able to start somewhere between weeks 4-6, especially at the pace they're describing which is about 10-minute miles for the jogging portions.


Posted by: Po-Mo Polymath | Link to this comment | 08- 1-08 9:46 AM
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121: Early on, the fitness wasn't the issue for me (27 at the time), it was getting my joints and bones and junk used to pounding the pavement. Two miles was easy, getting out of bed the next morning wasn't.


Posted by: ed bowlinger | Link to this comment | 08- 1-08 9:48 AM
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Erm... 121 before I saw 118 or 120. I guess I don't really know what I'm talking about on this count.


Posted by: Po-Mo Polymath | Link to this comment | 08- 1-08 9:49 AM
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getting my... junk used to pounding the pavement

That's why you never wear boxers while jogging.


Posted by: Po-Mo Polymath | Link to this comment | 08- 1-08 9:50 AM
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123: I think there's a big difference between what you could do, and what you're likely to do. Sure, probably most reasonably in shape 20-30 somethings could move faster than that plan if someone were chasing them, but if you're not used to running much it's hard to drive yourself.

Maybe I'll try that with Sally in the fall. She was interested in jogging with me a while back, but ran out of gas awfully quickly, to the point that it was kind of frustrating for her, and pointless for me.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 08- 1-08 9:52 AM
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123: you twenty-somethings.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 08- 1-08 9:53 AM
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Someone (or someTHING) comes up from beneath you and tries to get in your face. You have to shove s/he/it away.

This happens to me from time to time, but let me tell ya, it doesn't take 100 shoves to get the job done, IYKWIM.


Posted by: ed bowlinger | Link to this comment | 08- 1-08 9:54 AM
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Although for what it's worth my running plan started with something not too different from week 6 workout 2.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 08- 1-08 9:55 AM
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123: The first three weeks were very easy for me. But I was starting slow because I really don't have the physique for running, and I figured it was better to build into it rather than blow out my knee.


Posted by: Cala | Link to this comment | 08- 1-08 9:58 AM
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128: Exactly! See also 115.

probably most reasonably in shape 20-30 somethings could move faster than that plan if someone were chasing them

Idea for new personal training fad: trainer comes by house to wake you up at 6 am and get you outside, then sets you off on an empty trail or road path that's at least 1-2 miles long. Threatening-looking accomplices unknown to the exerciser close in behind them on the trail and chase them for 1-2 miles before giving up. Then the trainer and exerciser jog back home. Voila!

Turning this into a multi-week program might require a very paranoid or dim-witted clientele.


Posted by: Po-Mo Polymath | Link to this comment | 08- 1-08 10:01 AM
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Turning this into a multi-week program might require a very paranoid or dim-witted clientele.

cf. Clouseau, Jacques, and Cato.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 08- 1-08 10:03 AM
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I'd have to build up to running really slowly. Chronic shin splints in the past from running.

I used to run quite a bit [not long distances but regularly] but pretty much haven't for 10 years because of injuries. I'd love to try it again, and I suspect an absurdly slow build-up would be ideal.


Posted by: nattarGcM ttaM | Link to this comment | 08- 1-08 10:04 AM
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You'd need an extended script. "Today we go running by this old warehouse. Oh, shit, the thugs are chasing us again! To get away, let's climb this ladder and swing ourselves along these conveniently placed overhead handholds!" And so on.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 08- 1-08 10:04 AM
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There actually is a style of run somewhat akin to what PMP describes in 130, called "hare and hound", where one person is the "hare" and is chased by some large-ish number of "hounds". These weirdos practice that style of running, with the additional complications that they begin and end at a bar, sing dirty songs, and generally act like lecherous, middle-aged swingers throughout.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 08- 1-08 10:05 AM
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Fight or flight works. Say, 3 minute rounds with someone trying to pound the crap out of you.

Start with one, add a round a week until you can do 12 of 'em. At that point advanced stuff like 'big sticks' and/or 'attack dogs' can be introduced.


Posted by: nattarGcM ttaM | Link to this comment | 08- 1-08 10:06 AM
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135: Next week, the ostrich.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 08- 1-08 10:07 AM
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Warning, here comes old fart voice of experience.

Being fit won't solve all your problems or prevent all diseases but it does help, and more and more as you get older. Starting young and keeping at it is a lot easier than letting yourself go and then starting again when you are older.

With that said we Americans are pretty hung up on the 'best' or the 'most efficient.' I blame that on marketing hype to sell products. The thing is that being fit is for sure not an all or nothing thing. Everything helps. My Doctor has drummed this into me.

Find what you like to do and keep active. Overall think of cardio - strength - and flexibility but any one of these, or parts of these, are better than nothing.

Don't let the ideal be the enemy of the good. If nothing else doing something will make you feel at least a little better than doing nothing.

(I say this after a summer of hot nights cutting sod and hauling it uphill and I swear all I've gotten is a better appreciation of what the pioneers went through but I still have faith this will make me feel better. Maybe when I am done!)


Posted by: Tripp | Link to this comment | 08- 1-08 10:15 AM
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Just doing lots of pushups sounds quite boring, and pointless. You'll develop lots of strength endurance but miss out other aspects of fitness. So as a challenge, yes, I could buy into it. As a program I'd do 4 EVA or even for six weeks, well, no.

There's an article floating around called "Third World Workouts" (no I'm not going to link to it because it would be incredibly embarrassing to have any association with the site that hosts it) that has this suggestion for a workout:

Our boats would be anchored about 100 yards off the beach, in around 18 feet of water. We generally used these as the markers, but the workout can be performed just as easily if you run parallel to a beach. You can also use the deep end of a pool. (Just check with the lifeguards first so you don't cause an incident.)

Each two-man team picks a large rock and races to the boat with it. The first man carries the rock while the second man swims above him on the surface. Then they switch. Once they reach the boat, a mooring line is dropped in the water and the rock must be carried up the line onto the deck of the boat. From here, knock out 50 pushups, throw the rock back into the water (check for swimmers first), and return it to the beach.

That my friends in a workout worth your time and yacht club membership fee.


Posted by: W. Breeze | Link to this comment | 08- 1-08 10:19 AM
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Or perhaps, is a workout worth your time etc.


Posted by: W. Breeze | Link to this comment | 08- 1-08 10:21 AM
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PGD,

And as far as "weak links" go -- for me it's my shoulders. They snap and crackle like rice krispies when I do pushups. I really need to find an exercise that's effective in strengthening whatever supports that joint.

You know I am not a Dr but if your problem is loose shoulder joints I might have some ideas. I dislocated a shoulder years ago with no scarring and hence it was pretty loosened up. I can try to dig up the exercises I was given to tighten it back up.


Posted by: Tripp | Link to this comment | 08- 1-08 10:22 AM
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Testosterone Nation, W. Breeze? My goodness.

Also am I given to understand that the workout is running underwater? Not all exercise can be aerobic, but is completely anaerobic really the way to go?

Also, carrying a big enough rock so that you actually maintain purchase on the ocean floor seems... complicated.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 08- 1-08 10:24 AM
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completely anaerobic really the way to go?

Phylum-ist.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 08- 1-08 10:27 AM
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Guilty by assocation Sifu, and that applies to both of us!

I take it that one person holds the rock up, and runs on the sea floor, and the other swims above helping support the rock. When the person on the bottom needs to breathe they switch. So not completely anaerobic...

We'd have to try it to find out. Now who owns a yacht, preferably ocean-going?


Posted by: W. Breeze | Link to this comment | 08- 1-08 10:30 AM
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140: sure Tripp, thanks, email me (included link here).


Posted by: PGD | Link to this comment | 08- 1-08 10:30 AM
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Sifu,

On the other hand fighting for one's next breath would probably be a pretty big motivation for exertion.


Posted by: Tripp | Link to this comment | 08- 1-08 10:30 AM
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It's highly entertaining that the article has a "third world workout" for which you need access to a yacht.


Posted by: ajay | Link to this comment | 08- 1-08 10:48 AM
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146: well, real third world workout were too depressing.

"Run up to the top of the massive garbage pile, knock out 50 push ups, and then, carrying the 10' length of scavenged iron pipe over your head, run the 8 miles in 100 degree heat to the salvage yard, while being chased by bandits. This workout will get you toned in no time, especially if, like us, you subsist on 8 grains of rice a day!"


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 08- 1-08 10:51 AM
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Just doing lots of pushups sounds quite boring, and pointless.

It's a pretty good upper-body workout, and the thing about this challenge is that it takes about ten minutes, three times a week. It's certainly compatible with being in shape in other ways or other exercise routines.


Posted by: Cala | Link to this comment | 08- 1-08 10:55 AM
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Threatening-looking accomplices unknown to the exerciser close in behind them on the trail and chase them

There's a stupid old (homophobic, sexist, heteronormative, etc.) joke that works along these lines. First, the exercise program consists of a man chasing down increasingly hot women. He pays his trainer more and more for each iteration, hoping to catch his ideal mate at the end of his last, most expensive run. The final run, however, which costs him his last penny, provides the twist. The exerciser is no longer the chaser, but the chasee; he finds himself pursued by a very fit, very horny Richard Simmons.


Posted by: NickFranklin | Link to this comment | 08- 1-08 10:57 AM
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You can soften that joke a little by having the hott women hold a sign that says "if you catch me you can fuck me" (to tone down the rape element) and have the last workout involve being chased by a gorilla (because the pro-bestiality people don't have their own parade yet.)

There's no way to make the joke actually funny, however.


Posted by: rob helpy-chalk | Link to this comment | 08- 1-08 11:01 AM
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Yeah, I don't think it's funny, either. I think heightening the brutality of the exerciser helps in some way, though, because if there's any potential laugh there, I think it comes from the abuse of his very conventional expectations.

On second thought, helpy-chalk, we should probably take this over to Standpipe's blog. Oh, wait...


Posted by: NickFranklin | Link to this comment | 08- 1-08 11:12 AM
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I'm with those who advocate combining the push-ups with crunches and any number of other things (flexibility and so on). Core body strength. I can't see training the same set of muscles in the absence of training the others; but that's sort of obvious. And heavens, there's nothing wrong with modified push-ups, including on-the-knees, if the full standard push-up is problematic in some way.* They still accomplish quite a bit.

*Back problems being the most common potential factor.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 08- 1-08 11:12 AM
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My push-up ability is pathetic. I could do eight with nose-to-ground form.

That sounds impressive as hell to me.

I'm increasingly surprised at how many people actually *do* have "workout routines." Somehow getting more active myself makes me more aware of how many people are doing weird stuff like training for triathlons or whatever. It's completely bizarre.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 08- 1-08 11:24 AM
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many people are doing weird stuff like training for triathlons or whatever. It's completely bizarre normal.


Posted by: W. Breeze | Link to this comment | 08- 1-08 12:11 PM
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weird stuff like training for triathlons or whatever. It's completely bizarre.

Žižek writes that people run marathons because society has become so permissive, because nothing is forbidden any more, and we have to make up increasingly unnatural boundaries for ourselves.

Me, I'm just vain, and I want to look better.


Posted by: Blume | Link to this comment | 08- 1-08 12:20 PM
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I think halfway through a marathon, if I were not dead, I would invent the wheel.


Posted by: Cala | Link to this comment | 08- 1-08 12:26 PM
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I'm just vain, and I want to look better

My best friend from college always used to say "No matter what people say their reason for working out is, no matter how nice or respectable it seems, if they're not working out for a job or survival, they're mostly working out to look good naked." I gotta agree.


Posted by: Po-Mo Polymath | Link to this comment | 08- 1-08 12:29 PM
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I really want to start exercising again. I was very pleased with the results of swimming and swimming then running. Maybe when grad school is wrapped up, I'll be able to carve out an hour a day to do it.


Posted by: TJ | Link to this comment | 08- 1-08 12:37 PM
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I refuse to accept the assertion that triathlons are normal.


Posted by: redfoxtailshrub | Link to this comment | 08- 1-08 12:37 PM
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I imagine the idea is that training for a triathlon is not much different from, say, entering grad school, learning a foreign language, setting out to master this or that. Not weird.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 08- 1-08 12:41 PM
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>I refuse to accept the assertion that triathlons are normal.

This is obviously right. Distance athletes are freaks.


Posted by: baa | Link to this comment | 08- 1-08 12:43 PM
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Entering grad school is not weird?


Posted by: redfoxtailshrub | Link to this comment | 08- 1-08 12:44 PM
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I think this pushup program is more like the old program of pick up a newborn calf and lift it over a fence. Repeat daily, and in a year or two you can lift a full-grown bull.

I heard that you plant a kernel of corn, then jump over it a hundred times a day. At the end of the season, you'll be able to jump seven feet.


Posted by: Megan | Link to this comment | 08- 1-08 12:49 PM
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Weird = trying to do something hard for no financial reward.

Normal = doing things only when there is money involved and spending the rest of your time rotting slowly on a couch.

This is what happens when you let capitalism set your norms for behavior.


Posted by: rob helpy-chalk | Link to this comment | 08- 1-08 12:53 PM
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162: Well, now. Well, now. Hm. Well, you see! People decide to take up projects all the time! And they take hard work! See. So.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 08- 1-08 12:53 PM
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rob, you made me laugh.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 08- 1-08 12:55 PM
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I refuse to accept the assertion that triathlons are normal.

I'm fine with that being normal, but a little confused how that is normal, but doing 10 minutes of push-ups three times a week is 'boring, and pointless.'


Posted by: Cala | Link to this comment | 08- 1-08 12:56 PM
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Weird = trying to do something hard for no financial reward.

Hmmmm, I don't think that's why I think triathlons are weird.


Posted by: redfoxtailshrub | Link to this comment | 08- 1-08 12:59 PM
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I think this pushup program is more like the old program of pick up a newborn calf and lift it over a fence. Repeat daily, and in a year or two you can lift a full-grown bull.

I heard that you plant a kernel of corn, then jump over it a hundred times a day. At the end of the season, you'll be able to jump seven feet.

Or, you pick up a small rock to begin with, and each day, lift a larger rock. Eventually, you thread a maze and kill a minotaur.


Posted by: TJ | Link to this comment | 08- 1-08 1:03 PM
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That's ridiculous, TJ. Rocks don't grow.


Posted by: Megan | Link to this comment | 08- 1-08 1:04 PM
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It's like you've never even seen a minotaur, Megan.


Posted by: peter | Link to this comment | 08- 1-08 1:07 PM
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My best friend from college always used to say "No matter what people say their reason for working out is, no matter how nice or respectable it seems, if they're not working out for a job or survival, they're mostly working out to look good naked." I gotta agree.

Eventually, my son, you will work out just to preserve a vague shadow of the youthful energy that comes completely naturally to you today. Enjoy your effort-free vitality while you've got it, it goes faster than you think.


Posted by: PGD | Link to this comment | 08- 1-08 1:11 PM
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Žižek writes that people run marathons because society has become so permissive, because nothing is forbidden any more, and we have to make up increasingly unnatural boundaries for ourselves.

There's an original thought.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 08- 1-08 1:38 PM
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Also, I heard that the thing to do is become scrupulously honest, and every day, announce "I will repeat this sentence tomorrow". Immortality is yours!


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 08- 1-08 1:39 PM
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My theory was that elaborate "training regimes" for people who are not actually professional athletes was just a new swipple behavior, actually.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 08- 1-08 1:49 PM
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175: A `training regime' is roughly equivalent to `staying in shape' a couple decades ago, but with $299 gym membership an $500 worth of gear a year. Marketing works


Posted by: soup biscuit | Link to this comment | 08- 1-08 1:52 PM
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175: Well, and it's also a way to keep yourself interested enough in the process to do it. Nobody really needs more exercise than doing some reasonable amount of cardio reasonably regularly, but all the training regimens maintain interest.

I like being fittish for a basically sedentary office worker, and stupid shit like this keeps me restarting exercising when I lose track and stop.

Not that it's not swipple. I'm white. If I'm doing it, it's swipple. Chewing cinnamon gum? Swipple. Cotton underwear? Totally swipple. Repeatedly losing cell phones? Couldn't get more swipple than that.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 08- 1-08 1:56 PM
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It's like you've never even seen a minotaur, Megan.

I don't even have a Labyrinth.


Posted by: TJ | Link to this comment | 08- 1-08 2:23 PM
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It's like you've never even seen a minotaur, Megan.

Naw, we don't have them west of the Rockies. Too dry for them, just like fireflies.


Posted by: Megan | Link to this comment | 08- 1-08 2:38 PM
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Naw, we don't have them west of the Rockies. Too dry for them, just like fireflies.

If California can support cultivation of lamb's lettuce, surely it can support a modest minotaur population. They could be marketed as a rare heritage breed. Once organic, free-range minotaur steaks appear on the menu at the French Laundry, the craze will sweep the nation.


Posted by: Knecht Ruprecht | Link to this comment | 08- 1-08 2:57 PM
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the craze will sweep the nation.

until the great `downer minotaur' scare or '11


Posted by: soup biscuit | Link to this comment | 08- 1-08 3:04 PM
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Once organic, free-range minotaur steaks appear on the menu at the French Laundry, the craze will sweep the nation.

Bravo, Knecht. The idea of a free-range minotaur is inspired. No more Daedalian mazes! Save the minotaur!


Posted by: NickFranklin | Link to this comment | 08- 1-08 3:14 PM
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Minotaurs feet primarily on virgins, don't they? I foresee a problem.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 08- 1-08 3:16 PM
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The naked speciesism in the suggestion that we eat minotaur disgusts me. In most depictions, the minotaur has at least a half-human intelligence.

Next you guys will be eating bushmeat chimpanzees.


Posted by: rob helpy-chalk | Link to this comment | 08- 1-08 3:17 PM
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feed


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 08- 1-08 3:17 PM
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The issue with minotaurs is whether farming them for food would constitute cannibalism, since they are genetically half-human, half-bovine, and the only bovine part phenotypically is the head. the butchering process would be identical to the butchering process for preparing human cadavers for food.

Pretty traumatic for the workers in that industry.


Posted by: peter | Link to this comment | 08- 1-08 3:19 PM
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For reasons of decorum, consumption of artisinal minotaur would be limited to head cheese.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 08- 1-08 3:21 PM
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Mmm, naked species.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 08- 1-08 3:21 PM
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I thought the minotaur intelligence was one of its bovine attributes.

Don't they spend most of their time charging around aggressively and irrationally? on the other hand, confinement has that effect on people too.

anyway, if the Centaur is supposed to have the intelligence of a person, the Minotaur should have the intelligence of a bull. This is a paradigm in which the mind and the rest of the body above the neck go together.


Posted by: peter | Link to this comment | 08- 1-08 3:22 PM
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or the rest of the body above the shoulders, is probably more accurate.


Posted by: peter | Link to this comment | 08- 1-08 3:23 PM
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So the next Unfogged meetup is going to involve push ups? Maybe the Presidential Fitness test? A swim?


Posted by: Will | Link to this comment | 08- 1-08 3:25 PM
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Pretty traumatic for the workers in that industry.

Just have to hire the right people.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 08- 1-08 3:26 PM
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Minotaurs feet primarily on virgins, don't they? I foresee a problem.

Bay Area, 2047

The War of the Californian Secession began in earnest earlier this weekend when the Latte-Sipping Left-Coasters kidnapped the sons and daughters of several prominent Heartland Republicans. This small group of Chastity Pledges appears to have been slaughtered and fed to free-range minotaurs later harvested and served by the French Laundry.


Posted by: NickFranklin | Link to this comment | 08- 1-08 3:26 PM
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I'm fairly certain Chastity Pledges correlate negatively with virginity. Or at least are uncorrelated.


Posted by: soup biscuit | Link to this comment | 08- 1-08 3:29 PM
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The minotaurs don't know that, biscuit.


Posted by: peter | Link to this comment | 08- 1-08 3:31 PM
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The naked speciesism in the suggestion that we eat minotaur disgusts me. In most depictions, the minotaur has at least a half-human intelligence. Next you guys will be eating bushmeat chimpanzees.

As a vegan, I sympathize with the desire to avoid doing harm to animals. But the kind of half-baked bleeding-heartism on display here gives us vegans a bad name.

Economists unanimously agree, and there are reams of scholarly journals to support the proposition that assigning property rights to valuable endangered species is the best way to preserve them. As the ineffectual ban on the ivory trade has clearly shown, regulations are powerless to stop the slaughter of elephants, because the burden of enforcement falls on governments that are barely competent, prone to corruption, and have only very weak economic incentives to enforcde the ban. Far better to give the poachers property rights, so that they might manage the elephant herds as a long-lived capital asset.

The fact that minotaur meat is a potentially trendy food source is actually a boon to minotaurs as a species, even if it requires some individual minotaurs to sacrifice for the good of the collective.

Note that this logic applies only to animals, not to human societies, because...well...because the implications for tax policy would be too horrible to contemplate were it otherwise.


Posted by: Zombie McMegan | Link to this comment | 08- 1-08 3:32 PM
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so it's another case of useless credentialism, you mean?


Posted by: soup biscuit | Link to this comment | 08- 1-08 3:32 PM
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The two leading literary depictions of Minotaurs—those of Borges and Heron & Williamson—agree that they are intelligent.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 08- 1-08 3:34 PM
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Good point, soup. Maybe the reporter got it wrong, what with the conservative bias widely known to characterize the various news services of 2047. In fact, the Chastity Pledges were last seen cavorting contentedly with the minotaurs in their free ranges. The news service just heightened the extent of the tragedy to accelerate the imminent hostilities.


Posted by: NickFranklin | Link to this comment | 08- 1-08 3:35 PM
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194: I think they're correlated positively with virginity for two years but then correlated with being knocked up by a minotaur.


Posted by: Cala | Link to this comment | 08- 1-08 3:47 PM
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How does the East Coast support their wild herds of minotaurs? Do they have an alliance with raccoons, to scavenge in the suburbs? Man, I hate raccoons.


Posted by: Megan | Link to this comment | 08- 1-08 3:49 PM
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I love raccoons. And skunks, and squirrels, and even alley rats, as long as they are not touching me.


Posted by: redfoxtailshrub | Link to this comment | 08- 1-08 3:51 PM
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That's all we need, for the minotaur population to get infiltrated by rabies thanks to raccoons.


Posted by: peter | Link to this comment | 08- 1-08 3:53 PM
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How does the East Coast support their wild herds of minotaurs?

The prospects of the (seeming) virgins of the Heartland, desperately trying to navigate the Scylla and Charybdis of the coastal Latte Sippers, are not good.


Posted by: | Link to this comment | 08- 1-08 3:53 PM
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Whoops. 204 = me.


Posted by: NickFranklin | Link to this comment | 08- 1-08 3:55 PM
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anyone know where the latte sippers label is from?


Posted by: disaggregated | Link to this comment | 08- 1-08 4:01 PM
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Oh, whew, I thought you said 1000 pushups.

I started with a baseline of 20. End of week 1 felt remarkably easier than beginning. Week 2 has been a little uncomfortable, although I realize I wasn't resting enough. Week 2 Day 3 is later today.

Sometimes I get really tingly in my left arm, and then I stop and ice.

In yoga, I'm only working on fingertips, but for 100pu I'm doing bent wrists.


Posted by: Wrongshore | Link to this comment | 08- 1-08 4:04 PM
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anyone know where the latte sippers label is from?

starbucks.


Posted by: | Link to this comment | 08- 1-08 4:05 PM
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they're mostly working out to look good naked

My right bicep has gotten kind of impressive. Strangely, not my left. I had to demonstrate to my fiancee that I was not doing them one-handed.


Posted by: Wrongshore | Link to this comment | 08- 1-08 4:06 PM
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assigning property rights to valuable endangered species

I'm not sure what problem is solved by allowing the minotaurs to own things.


Posted by: washerdreyer | Link to this comment | 08- 1-08 4:07 PM
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A minotaur cattle-drive is totally different from an ordinary cattle drive. For one thing, they're willing to carpool.


Posted by: TJ | Link to this comment | 08- 1-08 4:07 PM
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209: It's less pronounced than it used to be, but my right arm is significantly stronger and more buff-looking than my left arm.


Posted by: Cala | Link to this comment | 08- 1-08 4:11 PM
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209/212

well, there goes my hypothesis as to the source of Wrongshores asymmetry. or maybe not.


Posted by: soup biscuit | Link to this comment | 08- 1-08 4:12 PM
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191: given the nature of Unfogged, it has to be a particular kind of pushup.


Posted by: elemund | Link to this comment | 08- 1-08 4:14 PM
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Screw doing pushups.


Posted by: Sir Kraab | Link to this comment | 08- 1-08 4:15 PM
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209: that one time, obviously, but what about other times when your fiancee can't observe you?


Posted by: disaggregated | Link to this comment | 08- 1-08 4:15 PM
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216: Obviously then he masturbates one-hande,d yes.


Posted by: peter | Link to this comment | 08- 1-08 4:18 PM
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On the asymmetry, you might be favoring one side more than the other. How can you tell? Hm. Not sure. My physical therapist looks at my stance, just relaxed standing position, from behind and sees that I favor my right side slightly (injury to right side of lower back), and so stand with my shoulders not quite level, weight not equally on both feet. If I don't consciously correct for it, it'll become increasingly pronounced as my left side becomes stronger to compensate for weakness on the right.

Eh, worth considering. Or the asymmetrical buffness thing is just a fluke.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 08- 1-08 4:22 PM
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I'm not sure what problem is solved by allowing the minotaurs to own things.

If they have property rights in the virgins, they'll have an incentive to preserve the virgins for later eating -- both by moderating consumption, and by preventing deflowering. This will reduce the number of virgins eaten (in any given year) and decrease teenage pregnancy rates.

Really, it's just Econ 101.


Posted by: widget | Link to this comment | 08- 1-08 4:27 PM
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218: Four years of fencing, in my case. A pretend sword doesn't weigh much, but thrusting it forward 200 times a practice probably trained some nerves or something. Wrongshore, well, explanations are being postulated...


Posted by: Cala | Link to this comment | 08- 1-08 4:29 PM
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re: one-sideness

I'm not really noticeably asymmetrical in appearance, but I'm definitely more flexible on one side than the other. I get further into the warm-up process or a class before I can kick as high on the right as on the left. I'm generally quite left-sided that way. I also prefer to throw things with the left hand [despite writing with the right].


Posted by: nattarGcM ttaM | Link to this comment | 08- 1-08 4:35 PM
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220: I'm a pretty strongly pronounced righty, but the left side of my upper body is significantly more developed than the right. I suspect twelve years of violin lessons, starting at age 5. (I'm in my thirties now, btw. It's pretty amazing how much early development can stick.)


Posted by: | Link to this comment | 08- 1-08 4:38 PM
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Dammit. Remember personal info!


Posted by: NickFranklin | Link to this comment | 08- 1-08 4:40 PM
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I also prefer to throw things with the left hand [despite writing with the right].

ttaM is asymmetrically ambidextrous!

This is all vaguely reminding me of the strange article Ogged, I think, posted a while back about exercising your so-called willpower muscle by, say, brushing your teeth with the opposite hand for a week.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 08- 1-08 4:42 PM
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Ok, uh, NickFranklin lives in Irvine and has an unsatisfying sex life.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 08- 1-08 4:43 PM
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The thing is, the asymmetry is very recent, and I didn't just fall off the masturbation truck last week.


Posted by: Wrongshore | Link to this comment | 08- 1-08 4:45 PM
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Guilty on the first, but I'm not sure where you got the second, ben. Clever, though.


Posted by: NickFranklin | Link to this comment | 08- 1-08 4:47 PM
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NickFranklin is a Taurus, only eats virgins on Hannukah and Easter, and got buff doing pushups in the labyrinth.


Posted by: peter | Link to this comment | 08- 1-08 4:51 PM
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"Is mademoiselle intact, or will we be shopping from the slut rack?"

New mouseover text meeting the parents question?


Posted by: Sir Kraab | Link to this comment | 08- 1-08 4:55 PM
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WELL YOU MUST BE DOING SOMETHING, WRONGSHORE!


Posted by: OPINIONATED SYMMETRY POLICE | Link to this comment | 08- 1-08 4:59 PM
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NickFranklin is a Taurus, only eats virgins on Hannukah and Easter, and got buff doing pushups in the labyrinth. Or did, at least, from time to time, when he was a kid. He had never heard the phrase "Otter Pop" until very recently, however.


Posted by: NickFranklin | Link to this comment | 08- 1-08 5:21 PM
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just did my 3rd set for week 2. Took 120-second breaks and a little bit longer before the exhaustion round.

Felt tight on the middle sets, but noticed my elbow wasn't clicking which it usually does.

On the 9th one in the exhaustion set I felt a tingle in my left arm, but I got through to 15 by pausing at the top.

Adelante!


Posted by: Wrongshore | Link to this comment | 08- 1-08 5:35 PM
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My best friend from college always used to say "No matter what people say their reason for working out is, no matter how nice or respectable it seems, if they're not working out for a job or survival, they're mostly working out to look good naked." I gotta agree.

Others covered this nicely, but I'll pile on anyway.

Looking good naked - or at least looking better naked, is always a nice thing. Some people are smart enough to know also that all working out is for survival, although the benefits may be a long way away.

Today most people survive long enough to reproduce, but the thing is that after that there is still plenty of good time left. Maybe mother nature doesn't care if we die after having kids and raising them, but screw her. Die after the hard work of child raising and you are only cheating yourself. Get past that and you can go back to living the selfish life of youth. At least that is my goal.


Posted by: Tripp | Link to this comment | 08- 2-08 10:48 AM
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196: The weird thing is that KR spoofing McMegan is more intelligent than McMegan herself. She would just give a vague handwave in the direction of the argument and then trail off by musingly questioning the national park system.


Posted by: PGD | Link to this comment | 08- 2-08 11:14 AM
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