Re: Science Fairs Have Been Won With Less

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You'd have to control for the position of the sticker, and hope S hasn't read this.


Posted by: Beefo Meaty | Link to this comment | 08-14-08 11:58 AM
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Or were you thinking just in terms of giving money to the ostensible enemy?


Posted by: Beefo Meaty | Link to this comment | 08-14-08 11:58 AM
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A friend of mine could really have used the link in 1. He had a hell of a time removing the "Tight Butts Drive Me Nuts" sticker from a car he bought.


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 08-14-08 12:04 PM
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You're thinking more the moral contagion issue, right? The would you drink from Hitler's galss thing.


Posted by: JPool | Link to this comment | 08-14-08 12:04 PM
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I think she's imagining all the factors--moral contagion, trafficking with the enemy, not being able to get the damn thing off--combined into one bumper sticker penalty.


Posted by: rob helpy-chalk | Link to this comment | 08-14-08 12:09 PM
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3: Your friend likes flabbier asses?


Posted by: rob helpy-chalk | Link to this comment | 08-14-08 12:10 PM
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It takes all kinds, rob.


Posted by: soup biscuit | Link to this comment | 08-14-08 12:11 PM
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The problem with the question is that even if one couldn't remove the sticker, one could easily cover it with another. So one could, say, cover a housemate's "I'd rather be reading Jane Austen" sticker with one that read "Diesel smoke makes me horny." Not that I would do anything like that, but some people might.


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 08-14-08 12:15 PM
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Perhaps his friend has a measured, appropriate response to tight butts.


Posted by: Merganser | Link to this comment | 08-14-08 12:15 PM
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I was just thinking he could put his "Fat Bottom Girls, You Make the Rockin' World Go 'Round" bumper sticker right over the "tight butts" one.


Posted by: rob helpy-chalk | Link to this comment | 08-14-08 12:16 PM
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9: or just use half the second sticker, so the bumper reads "Diesel smoke makes me Jane Austen".


Posted by: Beefo Meaty | Link to this comment | 08-14-08 12:18 PM
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People were surprised at the Jesus fish on my car. But it was there when I bought it, and although I wouldn't go out of my way to put a Jesus fish on my car...what am I really saying if I put in extra effort to remove all traces of Jesus from my car?

I think the fact that I didn't remove the "Follow me to Turpin's BBQ - Traveler's Rest, S.C." sticker or the Elon College window decal either should have let them know that the fish did not necessarily represent my sentiments.


Posted by: CN | Link to this comment | 08-14-08 12:20 PM
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Or "Jane Austen makes me horny"


Posted by: Knecht Ruprecht | Link to this comment | 08-14-08 12:23 PM
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13: that you'd rather not be associated with the sort of people who believe it is important to put little plastic fishes on their cars?

I suppose you could have put an FSM one on the other side, just to mess with people.


Posted by: soup biscuit | Link to this comment | 08-14-08 12:25 PM
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Perhaps his friend has a measured, appropriate response to tight butts.

"I find tight butts rather agreeable"

I wonder if there's a market for bumperstickers expressing sentiments in the most tepid terms possible.

what am I really saying if I put in extra effort to remove all traces of Jesus from my car?

Another one of my great unrealized ideas was a larger fish with a dollar sign, which a person could position as though it were gobbling up the Jesus fish.


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 08-14-08 12:30 PM
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3) Calculate the bumper sticker penalty/premiuim.

I don't even get the question. The penalty/premium for whom? The buyer as well as the seller, I guess.

Wait. Is this a rhetorical question of some sort? I mean, obviously the strength of the buyer's political beliefs has a great deal to do with how much he or she cares at all, and, well ... so on.

The only missing factor would have to do with the buyer's degree of ease with advertising of any sort, even of his or her own political party.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 08-14-08 12:31 PM
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14. I don't think that would work. "I'd rather be horny" might, though.


Posted by: Michael | Link to this comment | 08-14-08 12:32 PM
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I know someone who had a bumper sticker which said: "Try Jesus. If that doesn't work you can go back to the Devil!"

Somebody added a couple swastikas and the word "Jews" with a sharpie. It too them about a week to notice and remove the sticker.


Posted by: Tripp | Link to this comment | 08-14-08 12:34 PM
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My mother has a habit of adopting my castoff clothing as her own. I used to have a teeshirt that was given to me by a German ex who sat in the student parliament for the social democratic faction. It had a picture of a red rose (symbol of the SPD) and a slogan in really huge garish print that said, in effect (it was an untranslatable pun), "I am a horny young socialist in the SPD). I got a really big kick out of seeing my mom innocently wear that shirt around town in Deep Redstatia.


Posted by: Knecht Ruprecht | Link to this comment | 08-14-08 12:35 PM
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"I'd rather be horny"

Ah, the paradoxes of desire. I'd rather not be horny while stuck in traffic, at least.


Posted by: rob helpy-chalk | Link to this comment | 08-14-08 12:36 PM
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20: my mom has a BO2K shirt that she wears sometimes, despite my making very clear to her that the logo was in fact an asshole.


Posted by: Beefo Meaty | Link to this comment | 08-14-08 12:36 PM
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Wait. Is this a rhetorical question of some sort? I mean, obviously the strength of the buyer's political beliefs has a great deal to do with how much he or she cares at all, and, well ... so on.

What are you confused about? The experimental design is crude and vulnerable to many confounding variables, but it's not mysterious. The idea is that you see how much less, on average, someone is willing to pay if the bumper sticker conflicts with their own politics, and also how much (if any) more someone might be willing to pay if the bumper sticker accords with their own politics.


Posted by: redfoxtailshrub | Link to this comment | 08-14-08 12:37 PM
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181:
"I'd like it if [sports team] did well in their division this year "
"My alma-mater was pretty good, all things considered"
"Perhaps you should consider voting for [X]"
"I like this type of automobile better than that type"
"[ethinic/career/other group] do it fairly well in my limited experience"

I'm not sure it'll fly, Jesus.


Posted by: soup biscuit | Link to this comment | 08-14-08 12:37 PM
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This is a true fact - there is a car I frequently see with a bumper sticker that says "Marriage=(stick figure man)+(stick figure woman)" on it and I finally caught sight of the car owner. It was a youngish guy who, how can I say this, looked gay.

Yeah, I know, what does 'looked gay' mean and how could I possibly know what his sexual orientation really is and why do I care anyway?

I've been real tempted to get an 'embrace the gay' sticker or something like that and cover his sticker but of course I will never do that because it would be a crime but man alive I would love to do it.


Posted by: Tripp | Link to this comment | 08-14-08 12:38 PM
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I've wanted for years to make Jesus fish that say "Tweety" but the marketing of my personal brand has languished in thrall to me personal laziness.


Posted by: Beefo Meaty | Link to this comment | 08-14-08 12:39 PM
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19: "Try swastikas. If that doesn't work you can go back to the Jews!"?


Posted by: peter | Link to this comment | 08-14-08 12:40 PM
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Tripp, you could always look for a variant of these non-permanent stickers


Posted by: soup biscuit | Link to this comment | 08-14-08 12:42 PM
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Because really, if you spend long enough with swastikas, you'll have trouble going back to the Jews. they're not as forgiving as the Devil.


Posted by: peter | Link to this comment | 08-14-08 12:43 PM
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If Jesus is a fish, is sushi communion?


Posted by: Michael | Link to this comment | 08-14-08 12:44 PM
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I knew a rawfooditarian (or whatever the hell they call themselves) who had a "cooked food is poison" sticker on his pickup, right over the tailpipe. That vies with the "Luddite" bumpersticker in the irony category.


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 08-14-08 12:45 PM
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My mom has a car with Jane Austen VANITY PLATES.


Posted by: Katherine | Link to this comment | 08-14-08 12:46 PM
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A few weeks ago I saw a sticker of Calvin peeing on the words ex-wives. And here I thought that the Calvin peeing on the words "ex-wife" was bad.

Dude, if you have had multiple, bitter divorces, maybe the problem isn't in your partners.


Posted by: rob helpy-chalk | Link to this comment | 08-14-08 12:46 PM
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30: sashimi and sake ?


Posted by: soup biscuit | Link to this comment | 08-14-08 12:47 PM
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33: to be fair, though, the problem probably doesn't end at your choice of window stickers, either.


Posted by: Beefo Meaty | Link to this comment | 08-14-08 12:49 PM
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For balance, I should also mention the nice truck sticker I used to see around Canton a lot: A hulking, pimped out Ford F350 with a sticker that read "Dad's Taxi."


Posted by: rob helpy-chalk | Link to this comment | 08-14-08 12:49 PM
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32: My mom the forensic pathologist had QNCY plates when Quincy, M.E. was on the teevee.

sashimi and sake ?

I'd go back to church for that.


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 08-14-08 12:51 PM
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I was walking down the boardwalk in Belmar or Ocean Grove, NJ with my friend J, when we came upon a family exiting a VW bus with a Jewish marriage encounters sticker on the back (does everyone remember these stickers?). J recognized the bus by the color and the sticker as one that had belonged to her family when she was a kid. We walk over and she asks the parents, "Hey! Did you get this from the H family?" They nod. J introduces herself as the daughter and explains that she recognized it from the Jewish marriage encounters sticker. The parents get indignant and the mother replied, "THIS IS A JESUS BUS NOW!"
We couldn't figure why they didn't just take the damn sticker off.


Posted by: oudemia | Link to this comment | 08-14-08 12:53 PM
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Rob, for some people peeing is an act of love.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 08-14-08 12:55 PM
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"Because really, if you spend long enough with swastikas, you'll have trouble going back to the Jews. they're not as forgiving as the Devil."

And there wouldn't be any left.


Posted by: Ginger Yellow | Link to this comment | 08-14-08 12:55 PM
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23: The idea is that you see how much less, on average, someone is willing to pay if the bumper sticker conflicts with their own politics, and also how much (if any) more someone might be willing to pay if the bumper sticker accords with their own politics.

I understand that. Just how much is unanswerable in the absence of empirical testing. Since there will be no actually existing 3 used cars which are "equivalent" according to the terms of the question, it's not empirically testable.

As an abstract question, i.e. blog post, I dunno, 50 bucks? I'd pay an extra 50 bucks for either the car without any stickers or the one favoring my party. Between the two of those, I'm afraid I'd have to shrug. I'm not going to pay more than $50 for the convenience of not having to cover up the my-party sticker.

I could easily persuade myself that I wouldn't pay any difference at all between the 3 cars, given that they are otherwise equivalent.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 08-14-08 12:57 PM
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37: Maybe it would be Ikizukuri (sp?) though.


Posted by: soup biscuit | Link to this comment | 08-14-08 12:57 PM
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41: Isn't the real question how much you trust the seller?


Posted by: soup biscuit | Link to this comment | 08-14-08 12:58 PM
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28. My brilliant idea for the next "smiley face" was a clear international "no" symbol, you know the red circle with the left to right diagonal slash, http://developer.apple.com/textfonts/Tools/tooldir/TrueEdit/Documentation/TE/TE3international.gif
on clear plastic with adhesive backing that one could slap onto the offending bumper stickers. Laziness prevented action on my part, but my ex's new husband had a bunch printed up. Don't know if he ever sold any.


Posted by: Tassled Loafered Leech | Link to this comment | 08-14-08 1:00 PM
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44: I've actually seen those, years ago. No idea if your ex-in-law was involved.


Posted by: soup biscuit | Link to this comment | 08-14-08 1:02 PM
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Neither 14 nor 18 would work, since both require covering the diesel smoke sticker with part of the already-adhered Austen sticker.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 08-14-08 1:03 PM
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45: No, no, your wife's husband is your husband-in-law.


Posted by: peter | Link to this comment | 08-14-08 1:04 PM
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Jeez, he stole your wife and your road to riches too. Bummer.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 08-14-08 1:04 PM
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The best bumper sticker I ever saw was a hand drawn one that read:
Jesus Saves Sinners
And Redeems Them for Valuable Prizes


Posted by: JPool | Link to this comment | 08-14-08 1:05 PM
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47: "Brother Husband" in the matriarchal, parallel-universe version of the FLDS.


Posted by: rob helpy-chalk | Link to this comment | 08-14-08 1:05 PM
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My brother's brother-in-law is my brother-in-law-in-law, right? Is my niece's husband my nephew-in-law?


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 08-14-08 1:06 PM
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My bumper sticker.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 08-14-08 1:06 PM
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I'm a giver, JE.


Posted by: Tassled Loafered Leech | Link to this comment | 08-14-08 1:07 PM
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47: you still need `ex' in there somewhere.


Posted by: soup biscuit | Link to this comment | 08-14-08 1:07 PM
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I think the fact that I didn't remove the "Follow me to Turpin's BBQ - Traveler's Rest, S.C." sticker or the Elon College window decal either should have let them know that the fish did not necessarily represent my sentiments.

Oh, that was you. Sorry about cutting you off the other day, but I fucking hate BBQ, Jesus fish, and Elon College (in that order).

Maybe you should attach little quotes to either side of the Jesus fish, so people know it's ironic.


Posted by: JRoth | Link to this comment | 08-14-08 1:08 PM
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55: Your ex-wife's husband is your husband-in-law. Your wife's ex-husband is your ex-husband-in-law. And you yourself are to be referred to as "Uncle Grandpa".


Posted by: peter | Link to this comment | 08-14-08 1:08 PM
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43: That would have a lot to do with it. The other major factor would be the type and price range of the vehicle. All but one of my cars (all used) have been pretty beat-up to begin with, and I've always paid in full, in cash/check. So I don't care that much.

Substiute for all that a set of used car buyers who spend $10,000 for a recent used car, with a payment plan, and who expect to resell it again, and the calculation will be rather different regarding the bumper sticker.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 08-14-08 1:09 PM
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57 doesn't work either.

50 does, with a modifier.


Posted by: soup biscuit | Link to this comment | 08-14-08 1:10 PM
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Maybe it would be Ikizukuri (sp?) though.

The living Christ! Gets the idea across better than bland wafers, for sure.


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 08-14-08 1:10 PM
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44: I saw stickers of screws for sale, intended for placing over hearts on bumper stickers, as in I [SCREW] MY GOLDEN RETRIEVER.


Posted by: oudemia | Link to this comment | 08-14-08 1:11 PM
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I remember the spaceship with the "I 8 NY" bumper sticker.

Maybe you should attach little quotes to either side of the Jesus fish, so people know it's ironic.

It's not ironic, it's neutral.

The difference is between hipster moustache (consciously ironic, involves effort) and hipster beard (usually the result of indifference/laziness).


Posted by: CN | Link to this comment | 08-14-08 1:12 PM
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I actually know quite a few of my in-laws-in-law. My grandfather-in-law-in-law was the one who lost all his fingers falling asleep drunk on New Year's Eve outside in North Dakota.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 08-14-08 1:12 PM
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Those of us old enough to remember "Nixon Now" campaign bumper stickers also remember the urge to pencil in "Impeach" in front.


Posted by: politicalfootball | Link to this comment | 08-14-08 1:17 PM
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64: works equally well for current last-crop stickers, I expect.


Posted by: soup biscuit | Link to this comment | 08-14-08 1:18 PM
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Its funny how Emerson manages to be super-connected, yet still be an insufferable old drunk.


Posted by: rob helpy-chalk | Link to this comment | 08-14-08 1:24 PM
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A friend and I once took a bunch of stickers that were being handed out by pro-lifers visiting the Reed campus (seriously, people, how stupid can you get?) and cut them up to rearrange the letters into superior slogans. My favorite was "Equal Rights for Unborn Walrus," though "I (heart) Worms" is also pretty good, IMO.


Posted by: togolosh | Link to this comment | 08-14-08 1:25 PM
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66: It's an advanced technique, helpy-chalk.


Posted by: soup biscuit | Link to this comment | 08-14-08 1:26 PM
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Being an insufferable old drunk is normal in Wobegon. That's exactly what my grandfather-in-law-in-law was.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 08-14-08 1:27 PM
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Neither 14 nor 18 would work, since both require covering the diesel smoke sticker with part of the already-adhered Austen sticker.

Oh, Ben. Ben, Ben, ben, ben, ben. You'd cut "horny" off the diesel smoke sticker, and paste it over "reading Jane Austen". Some additional work might be involved, but it's workable.


Posted by: Michael | Link to this comment | 08-14-08 1:29 PM
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I liked how they changed the magazine from "Martha Stewart Living" to "Is Martha Stewart Living" and finally to "Why Is Martha Stewart Living."

I don't think that made a bumper sticker though.


Posted by: Tripp | Link to this comment | 08-14-08 3:48 PM
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Do you know that it's virtually impossible to get yourself off Martha Stewart's frackin' email lists? Of which there are many? I have no idea how I got on there, and no, I do not know my password in order to unsubscribe. I'm going to have to kill that email address eventually. I do not thank Martha for this behavior on her part.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 08-14-08 3:58 PM
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Do you know that it's virtually impossible to get yourself off Martha Stewart's frackin' email lists?

Maybe she's a Cylon bent to destroy you?


Posted by: Beefo Meaty | Link to this comment | 08-14-08 4:00 PM
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Frack her and her frackin' selling of mailing lists to any buyer, come hell or high water, and their consequent seekrit way of pretending you signed up on your own. I do not subscribe to this one god thing. Zombies.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 08-14-08 4:06 PM
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You have been chosen by God, parsimon. It is your destiny to lead your people to the land of tastefully coordinated napkin rings. All this decor has happened before, and all of it will happen again.


Posted by: Cala | Link to this comment | 08-14-08 4:25 PM
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No! I will fingerpaint on the walls in the stead of the napkin rings, and verily I will throw dinner parties during which people are asked to eat kale, raw! Admittedly served in a beautiful handcrafted wooden bowl. But that was a gift! Plus my ex-roommate blew his nose in most of the cloth napkins, anyway, so that kind of didn't work out.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 08-14-08 4:34 PM
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"THIS IS A JESUS BUS NOW!"

mouseover?


Posted by: I don't pay | Link to this comment | 08-14-08 4:34 PM
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Actually, I can't think of a much more terrifying 12th Cylon than Martha Stewart.


Posted by: Cala | Link to this comment | 08-14-08 4:45 PM
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I see this one on my street all the time.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 08-14-08 5:35 PM
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