When you're Michael Phelps, you don't ask the world if they want to sex you; the world asks you.
What an ideal schedule. 8 golds in the first week, many more sex partners from the Olympic Village in the second week.
2 - I know. This has been a big topic of conversation in our house. You really want to get your pesky competing out of the way early to get on with the sex-having.
Haha. shivbunny's been saying 'X more races and it's him, beer, and lots of Olympic fangirls!' all week.
How else is he going to keep burning 12,000 calories a day? That's a hard taper to do.
Although Phelpsbabies might be fast swimmers, they'd probably be kind of goofy looking.
Conversely it must be so annoying to be competing at the very end. Like, sure, get laid in week one, but you can't fully focus.
8 golds and size 14 feet. Go with my blessing, young Phelps.
I don't think it's that crazy to have a 6'7" wingspan if you're 6'4"
Friends, Usain Bolt is 6'5". We expect things of you, Labs.
Who wants to sex Michael Phelps?
I do. I really do.
Shut up, Costas. The thought has crossed all our minds. Mere hundredths of a second, or whatever it is, surely don't matter that much, though. Everybody seems to say he's goofy-looking, anyway. More fool they.
Even if I were fully gay, I wouldn't. That weird arm thing he does freaks me out. I reserve all my man-love for Theo.
That weird arm thing he does
That's the butterfly stroke, or what?
That weird arm thing he does
It's the stretching thing that makes his arms all wiggly.Little bits of his arm flare out and it looks like he has vestigial wings. It's creepy.
I hear he has trouble getting it up in bed. But put him in a pool and he can fuck like nothing you've ever seen before.
I don't think it's that crazy to have a 6'7" wingspan if you're 6'4"
It's on the unusual side of normal, I think.
It would also be good if fencing matches started with "Knives out, motherfuckers!"
And will they PLEASE quit saying these Olympic Games? I don't know why, but it irritates the hell out of me.
These Olympic Games. These Olympic Games. These Olympic Games. These Olympic Games. These Olympic Games. These Olympic Games. These Olympic Games.
(Desensitisation, Heebie.)
he has a fantastic looking cock, from the skin tite lazer at least.
WHY? Why? Why these? It's rarely confusing which Olympics you're talking about.
There's a schismatic Olympic Games in Brunei.
I thought it was unfortunate that they put a mic on his mom for that last race- "Go Chris- go Chris- goo Chris- goooo Chris- OOOH YEESSSSS!"
Because enthusiastic women shouldn't be displayed, 'cause then we can picture them having orgasms?
Orgasm? Who said anything about orgasms? Get your mind out of the gutter, Heebie.
When my mom and I were watching last week in our hotel room, I said I was pretty sure MP throws that bouquet up into the audience after each medal ceremony because it has a hotel key in it.
26- They showed him throwing it to his mom once.
Yes, I was merely saying that because she knows that she's mic'ed that she is self-conscious about her cheering. Of course.
When everyone was talking about mic'ed orgasms, I totally misunderstood. How embarrassing!
It's normal to be thinking about orgasms all the time, Heeb. You needn't be embarassed.
18: I'm sure they are overusing it, but since the Olympic Games can also refer to the whole series of modern Olympics there are many situations when it is appropriately used to make that distinction. The added bit of pomposity it provides the most banal observation then leads to it spreading virally as the locution of choice amongst the commentators.
It will be criminal if Phelps gets laid more than Bolt. Bolt's Jamaican, for gawd's sake. Isn't Jamaica one of the few places where you have female sex tourism? A little due diligence, ladies.
Kenya also has female sex tourism.
Isn't Jamaica one of the few places where you have female sex tourism?
It is. I know this because my former next-door neighbor used to go there (and stay at this place, "a sandbox for your inner child") and regale me with stories of all the sex she had.
Jamaica is also one of the higher fraud consulates for marriage-based visas, probably due to the sex tourism.
The Hedonism clubs are swingers clubs that happen to be located in Jamaica. There tourists have sex with tourists. Tim is referring to the fact that tourist women go to Jamaica to have sex with Jamaican men.
Canadians go to Cuba for similar purposes.
P.S. Sex tourism: also creepy.
Girls go to Mars, to get more candy bars.
Now someone do one with girls going to Venus.
39: Well they may have been to Mars and Venus, but have they ever been to me?
This article on where a woman can get a happy ending in NYC produced conflicted feelings in me, not least because they talk about the Russian Baths, which is one of my favorite hangouts. The thing is, yeah, all things being equal, it would be awesome to know that women can get the same "services" as men in a massage parlor. OTOH, all things are not equal, and what is titillating can also be really scary. Plus, the idea of this woman going around to massage parlors trolling for a handjob skeezes me out just as much as if a guy did it.
Can you hear the drums Fernando?
I remember long ago another starry night like this
In the firelight Fernando
You were humming to yourself and softly strumming your guitar
I could hear the distant drums
And sounds of bugle calls were coming from afar
They were closer now Fernando
Every hour every minute seemed to last eternally
I was so afraid Fernando
We were young and full of life and none of us prepared to die
And I'm not ashamed to say
The roar of guns and cannons almost made me cry
There was something in the air that night
The stars were bright, Fernando
They were shining there for you and me
For liberty, Fernando
Though I never thought that we could lose
There's no regret
If I had to do the same again
I would, my friend, Fernando
Now we're old and grey Fernando
And since many years I haven't seen a rifle in your hand
Can you hear the drums Fernando?
Do you still recall the frightful night we crossed the Rio Grande?
I can see it in your eyes
How proud you were to fight for freedom in this land
There was something in the air that night
The stars were bright, Fernando
They were shining there for you and me
For liberty, Fernando
Though I never thought that we could lose
There's no regret
If I had to do the same again
I would, my friend, Fernando
There was something in the air that night
The stars were bright, Fernando
They were shining there for you and me
For liberty, Fernando
Though I never thought that we could lose
There's no regret
If I had to do the same again
I would, my friend, Fernando
Yes, if I had to do the same again
I would, my friend, Fernando...
Actaully, Fernando isn't a sex tourism song at all, if you listen to the actual lyrics. But who listens to ABBA lyrics?
The link in 35 makes me feel really, really sorry for the hotel staff at those resorts. I can only imagine what kind of customer attitude that marketing language fosters.
On another note, I have an outstanding movie recommendation for everyone. Run, don't walk, to see Tell No One, a mystery-thriller with a terrific cast, airtight and fast-moving plot, and oddly perfect use of American pop music.
It's kind of like Charade crossed with something Hitchcockian, with more nudity. It's based on a book by Harlan Coben and apparently took a while for a US distributor to take a chance on it. I have no idea why -- the thing is as gripping as you could want, and achingly romantic to boot. Bonus: It is entirely possible to forget that the movie is in French. (Thank God.)
(Warning: There are two very intense and unpleasant scenes of violence, although they are short.)
45: I LOVE Marie-Josée Croze. I should see that.
In Taiwan prostitution was mostly in special barber shops that actually did give haircuts, massages, and pedicures along with. Full service care. And there were some for women too, with photos of the buff hair stylists out front.
Taipei 1983 reminded me of XIXc London, with lots of very conventional unhappy marriages, lots of vice, and lots of puritanical denial. There was also a place (Ximending) like 1950 Times Square, where all the rubes came in from the country for movies, vice, abortions, temple visits, and overpriced knicknacks.
37: Actually, my neighbor had sex with tourists and locals alike, and stated her preference for the latter proudly and loudly. She bought an ebony pot pipe there carved into the shape of a huge penis, and she would tell people that the color and proportions were a fair approximation of her Jamaican conquests; I declined to share a hit with her because I was convinced she didn't use it just for smoking.
Completely OT: My realtor just called to say "OH MY GOD YOU'RE A CELEBRITY!" It took me a moment to realize that she was referring to an eight-second radio clip that was airing this week for my job. I have so many conversations that don't go anywhere (public) that I sometimes forget that people actually hear this stuff.
Kind of funny and sweet to hear from her, and sort of makes up for the fact that I'm hanging out at the office here on a gorgeous Sunday afternoon.
48: Interesting. I've talked to people who've gone to Hedonism, and that's the first I've ever heard of that. Were they staff?
51: They were willing to hit the pipe with Jesus's neighbor?
Not just staff, but rod and staff.
Witt is a celebrity on my computer. For some reason, her picture is at the top of my picture files. So, whenever I open up my picture files, I see Witt.
BR and I always say, "Awww, there is Witt!"
OT: Jesus, how was the Portland meetup?
I only got one silver salmon so I didnt stop/wasnt going to share.
(I did break the lodge record by catching the largest Artic Char ever caught there. Although I suspect that the record gets broken every week....)
51: I suspect so. I know that at least one was on the kitchen staff, and since my neighbor's needs were well met at the resort, she didn't venture far.
Here you go: The Naked Truth About Hedonism II. Chris Santilli, an award-winning freelance writer and inveterate naked gal, has visited Hedonism II for 50-plus weeks in more than 30 trips since March 1985.
55: Postponed. I mentioned the postponement in a previous thread, but hoped you wouldn't notice and would still bring salmon. (You bastard.) Did you have any grayling?
I must have caught 40-50 grayling every day. We only kept enough for lunch each day. The only fish that we kept were male kings and male silvers. Unfortunately, I only caught female kings and only one male silver. (The silver run was just starting when we left.)
I did see 4 or 5 bears every day.
Carp fisherman do not spend $5000 catching one fish. I'm just saying.
Were they attractive, virile bears?
59: I wondered if I'd gotten lucky, or if grayling were absurdly plentiful and easy to catch. Sounds like the latter. Delicious fish.
re: 60
Carp (for eating) aren't really fished at all, afaik. They drain the lake, walk in and pick them up.
Around here carp are fished any way you want. They are regarded as a pest and there are no restrictions. You could live on wild carp all year round, except for the mercury poisoning.
re: 63
Yeah, I'm thinking of Czech, where they have big carp lakes that can be drained by opening a sluice gate.
Probably everywhere in the world but the US carp are valued.
In napa last week, John, we visited a winery with a huge, huge carp moat. Everyone thought the carp were quite lovely and fed them. I'd say that a private moat in Napa and tourists willing to stand out in 90+ degree heat to feed you kibble = being valued.
On topic, however, Bolt's last name is "Bolt," for heaven's sake, and plus his whole celebrate-before-the-race-is-actually-over thing was delightfully, uh, cocky.
Lots of odd things in California. In real America, people kill them and leave them to rot. Ask Heebie about this.
Possibly the Asian population of California has led to the greater appreciation.
Also, koi are carp, but they don't count.
They don't count because they're valued at like a hundred bucks or more a head, and therefore undermine your thesis, you mean.
They're cute carp. They're sort of like Peter Paul and Mary singing delta blues.
These people would sneer at the local ghetto swamp carp.
Witt, I looked up from my laptop to an IRL person telling me this exact same thing about Tell No One. I'm sold!
Oy, I check in from my private Mediterranean island and it's John Emerson doing his ageless carp routine. More better in-jokes, people.
People fail to appreciate the carp. But I have added the amazing Wels catfish.
If the carp routine is ageless, I'll, uh, eat my hat.
Carp is ageless. One can only hope.
I haven't decided whether Emerson's obsession with carp proves or disproves his theory of relationships.
Heebie is objectively wrong in her disapproval of the carp.
Well, it's stupid. But I don't really want to argue about it.
Carp are a sort of litmus test for deeply-buried malign and horrendous attitudes and dispositions.
Do you think Phelps is stalked by people who fetishize size 14 feet?
If by "size 14 feet" you mean "big cocks", then, yes.
Oh, I forgot that line. I was really thinking about foot fetishists.
If he's looking for opportunities for promiscuity, he might have more fun with his peers than his fans. The volleyball players probably have the same amount of physical endurance as he, and they can talk sports afterwords.
Old wives would be the ones to know, I would guess. At least the unfaithful ones with a lot of data.
If he's looking for opportunities for promiscuity, he might have more fun with his peers than his fans. The volleyball players probably have the same amount of physical endurance as he, and they can talk sports afterwords.
Oh, you know that there is a ton of intersport hanky panky going on.
lots of frisky behavior bt athletes
Kenny George makes Michael Phelps feel inadequate.
There was a story about Olympic hanky panky awhile back. Apparently condoms are distributed by the quart.
This is an old wives' tale.
Old lucky wives' tale. And who can blame them. I'd tell, too, had I done so well in marriage.
Olympic hanky panky
WHO WANTS TO SEX POCKET HERCULES?
Yep, 7,8" Kenny George's wingspan is 8,5". That's crazy!