Hell, I'll do it twice.

It might be tastier if we're allowed to use butter, eggs, an oven, etc., though.

2 - OK, pedant. Eggs, an oven, and other ingredients. Just whipping all of the eggs by hand.

(No butter, though. Then you wouldn't be making an angel food cake.)

The butter is to put on your elbow.

I've done this before. It was a lot of work. I own a mixer now. I wouldn't do it again.

In fact, I think I didn't even have a whisk. I'm pretty sure I used a fork.

Or wait, maybe I didn't even have a fork. That might have been the time I just used my fingers. My fingers and my teeth.

I'm your date who has no arms and legs. Guess how I made the angel food cake without a whisk?

If this doesn't lead to a post on Apo's blog containing "documentary evidence" obtained from the internets and the phrase "with his penis", I will be deeply saddened.

Whatever, jms. I once beat 12 egg whites to stiff peaks just by blowing on them really hard.

"on"?

"egg whites" must be the nickname for some soccer team.

But angel food cake sucks - why would one make it even with all the world's labor-saving devices at one's disposal?

Such vulgar interventions. If an earthquake or volcanic event were to disturb egg whites into foaming, that would be one thing. But the true cook merely contemplates the egg in its stillness.

Yes, "on". Is there some problem about my preposition?

I've never made angel food cake. Why exactly is this a challenge? Just because you have to beat eggs by hand?

It is depornifying.

I've never made angel food cake. How porny is it usually?

"egg whites" must be the nickname for some soccer team

Or a rugby team. They could get whipped to stiff peaks by the All Blacks.

17 to 16?

16 - A dozen egg whites to soft peaks. For some perspective, it took me 15 minutes with a mixer.

Maybe you should invest in a copper bowl, or some cream of tartar, or something.

Maybe my fist should invest in your face.

That was with cream of tartar and having frozen the bowl and beaters beforehand.

Bah. Easy. I could beat that mixer. I'd be like the John Henry of angel food cake.

||

1) I bet NBC is loving the light rain on the beach volleyball players -- surely good for ratings.

2) The "inspirational" story about how Misty May sprinkles some of her mom's ashes on the court after major victories? Kinda creepy.

|>

Misty May is a porn star, right?

That name really is unfortunate along many dimensions. April showers bring misty Mays, I hear.

This thread has been been pure gold so far.

Anyway, maybe you need a more powerful beater.

When John Henry was a little baby
Sittin' on his daddy's knee
His daddy picked him up
threw him off the porch, said
"This baby's done wet on me."

Smothers!

Anyway, maybe you need a more powerful beater.

Perhaps even a master beater.

29: You only say that because of 9.

30: Don't we all, Ben? Don't we all?

Yeah, but nine is only there because seven ate, uh, hold on a moment

Ok, I'm gonna have to get back to y'all about this.

Well, are you going to finish the joke?

Dude, Becks, how tf are you liveblogging the Olympics while mixing in the kitchen? There's your challenge, Unfoggetariat.

Synchopep.

||

And May-Walsh win the gold medal. In the rain. In white bikinis that look not-quite-meant-to-get-wet. Men across the country are blessing America.

|>

April Showers and Misty May must both be porn star and/or stripper names, but I just don't have the heart to Google for links to confirm.

40: Does the sprinkling her dead mother about detract from that?

Televising the weeping teenager who lost the diving thing is kind of cruel...

That's not what "ate" means.

Eden Springs Park was in its second extra ordinarily successful season on its way to become America's premiere pre-Disney, theme park; the House of David schools would provide education and recreational activities for its children that would soon develop into legendary barn storming base ball teams, "Jesus Boys", and traveling jazz bands that would catch the attention of America in sweeping nationwide vaudeville circuit tours throughout the 1920s. By the mid 1930s, and in spite of world wide economic depression, the Israelite House of David and its reorganization, Mary's City of David, would come to dominate southwestern Michigan's economy, tourism and agricultural industries.....We invented the automatic pin-set for bowling, 1909-10.....We invented the sugar waffle-cone for ice cream.

Men across the country are blessing America reaching for tissues.

Did May-Treanor and Walsh just give thanks to "Mr. President, for your inspiration"?

40 is useless without pictures.

Alas, beach volleyball players have joined Solzenitzen and Hitler on my masturbation blacklist.

Thanks a lot, Dubya!

49: I understand that Solzhenitsyn and beach volleyball players are both dead, but what's wrong with Hitler?

Well, on the other channel, they have a whole shitload of women speedracewalking in the rain.

max
['My.']

I've beat egg whites to soft peaks with a whisk, so angel food cake couldn't be that bad. However, there is a reason we invented cranks and electric tools, viz., it kinda sucked.

I tried to make last weekend's pancakes fluffier by beating the egg into the buttermilk and egg whites into soft peaks separately and then combining at the end, folding in the egg whites. All it did was give my wrist an ache, with no discernible extra-fluffiness. Or at least he didn't think they were that much fluffier than the last batch. It would totally suck to beat that many egg whites by hand. Dude, even the Quakers used cranks, right?

Tomorrow I'm making us jambalaya for the first time, and the day after, napoleons for a dinner party. Judge me, haterz, for despite having a recipe for puff pastry, I'm using frozen. But at least I'm not using vanilla pudding out of a box, like one god awful recipe suggested.

I'm feeling a certain amount of baking ennui though. I need new recipes, or maybe a class to learn how to do fancier stuff. But not cake decorating. I have learned my lesson from Cake Wrecks.

speaking of soft peaks, I'm having trouble believing a movie in which both Tuesday Weld and Ann-Margret have (identical) southern accents.

I'm having trouble believing a movie in which Deborah Kerr and Van Johnson play Maurice and Sarah in The End of the Affair. But that's because I watched that Ralph Fiennes/Julianne Moore/Neil Jordan version, which I liked despite the change in the book's ending and the way Ralph always plays the same hott jealous lover in every movie.

There still are Quakers, you know, BL. Maybe you're thinking of Shakers? But:

I tried to make last weekend's pancakes fluffier by beating the egg into the buttermilk and egg whites into soft peaks separately and then combining at the end, folding in the egg whites.

This is the procedure that Bob (who has a red mill) recommends for his decidedly non-instant tapioca, and I'll be damned if it doesn't work.

Right, Shakers. Whev.

Maybe it worked, but I've made the pancakes two ways, and perhaps the rest of the pancake batter is too heavy and just depresses the fluffy whites. It definitely works for most cakes though.

I'm making rice krispy treats right now. Not too difficult, and not much creative joy in the process. Oddly more popular than my chocolate mascarpone cookies. Sigh.

The best pancakes I've ever had (aside from those made by my sainted mother, of course) come from the most recent Joy of Cooking; lemon pancakes, they are, to be made with sour cream and a something like a quarter cup of lemon juice; I always substitute Greek yoghurt (the yoghurtest yoghurt on the market!!!) for the s.c., since I actually have the latter, generally, and generally never have the former, though of course I do not make substitutions for the lemon juice, no, not even if I had a thousand yuzu and citrons would I make such a substitution, and, basically, they're really good, especially with some jam atop, yum yum yum.

Do you put anything in your Rice Krispie treats? I recommend the addition of M&M's. One might almost say that M&M's and Rice Krispies, when combined into a whole, work synergistically to produce a taste sensation that is greater than the sum of the taste sensations produced by the parts.

Taste sensations often work that way—consider turkey and Hi-C.

Or grilled cheese sandwiches and granulated sugar.

Just straight up. It is so vanilla. Which is actually quite exotic and my favorite ice cream flavor (well, french vanilla), but still. Apparently you don't mess with a classic.

Apparently.

Vanilla.

Nifty. But being a bad Southeast Asian, I actually dislike pineapple and cooked bananas, fruits of my peoples. Coupled with the allergy to shrimp, and I may just be the worst Vietnamese person ever.

What I do is spit in my hand, piss on a dead ostrich, shake my tail and do the macarena. Hey presto, bundt cake!

I may just be the worst Vietnamese person ever.

That's what google suggests, but I still don't quite believe it.

You kids today. Why, I once made a meringue using only a salad fork.

Once I made whipped cream with a fork, and then I passed right over to butter.

I should have read the thread. Then I could have skipped right to that time when I made a meringue by thinking about it in passing while watching cartoons on tv.

Home-made butter! Great, but not what you want for the strawberry shortcake, I guess.

I once made mcmc make a meringue just by replying "IYKWIM" to one of her comments.

Oh no you didn't. I just felt like making a meringue. You made me blush, though.

Oh great. Now I'll never be able to think a, a, a, egg-white-thingy-starts-with-an-m into existence again.

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And... Tyson Homosexual drops the baton.

|>

OT: Airport mysteries

1. Why are there so few clocks in airports? It's not a mall or a casino where they want you to lose track of time.

2. Does anyone actually buy acne products from an airport vending machine? Witness the huge, talking Proactiv machine at DFW.

74: [insert Obligatory Gay Baton Joke here.]

The US generally has a lot of fast runners, but seems to suck at handoffs. Not the first time they've lost a pretty sure medal through a miscue.

I just felt like making a meringue.

IYKWIM.

74, 76: What leg did Bolt run for jamaica in the 4X100m? I saw the race, but didn't see him.

76: Men and Women 4X100M btw.

It was prelims* he reportedly did not run, but should be in the final.

Which make the baton bobble more of a bummer, since the US did not need to push it to qualify.

Btw, did we talk about whether he was showboating in his 100m race or not? I kinda wanted to see more than a couple hundredths of a second shaved off the WR.

That was with cream of tartar and having frozen the bowl and beaters beforehand.

The frozen beaters bit is the procedure for whipping cream. Egg whites will work best at room temperature, I think.

"To get maximum volume when beating egg whites they should be at room temperature and make sure your bowl and beaters are clean and free of grease." joyofbaking

81: A bit. He clearly was "showboating", but a little joie de vivre never hurt anyone. The IOC chairman did give him a verbal rebuke both for that and for his celebrations after both wins because he ignored the other runners. I am less enchanted with the after the race stuff than with anything he did during the race.

And the Brit men join both US teams with botched handoffs.

And is it really true that although the NBC site has the little "LIVE" icon next to track and field, that I cannot really watch any of it "LIVE" online, nor is it carried on on any of the broadcasts? (I guess it is late to be discovering this fact.)

One more whine—is it too much to ask that when they do show a replay to start with the really good part of the play and not the resulting weak shot at the end?

I can beat your rice krispie treats for trashy - last night I also made a grasshopper pie. And given the choice between two recipies, one involving making a custard and one involving melting marshmallows, I intentionally picked the trashier one.

IYKWIM.

Oh, Apo, WMYBSALB?

Oh, Apo, WMYBSALB?

Why does the wind blow? Why do the waves break ceaselessly upon the shore?

Now I'm getting all paranoid that my peaks are insufficiently hard. I've never used cream of tartar or chilled beaters or bowls.

having frozen the bowl and beaters beforehand

Therein lies your problem, as bakerz commented. Egg whites are easy to whisk into lovely clouds if you a) start with room-temperature eggs and b) use a copper bowl. Back when I lived in the country and regularly lost electrical power, I got used to whisking, stirring, and baking using a tinfoil reflector by the fireplace. It can be done.

Copper bowls? Jesus christ. But I swear, my soufflés do souffle!

I'm getting all paranoid that my peaks are insufficiently hard

You want me to talk all dirty to you and take care of that?

Now I'm getting all paranoid that my peaks are insufficiently hard.

Thinner sweaters?

Shoulda refreshed.

JP, joie de vivre injured me severely last month.

92: I assume you have pictures that you are willing to share.

93 to 87?

I am definitely "crazy" enough to do it, as anyone who knows me well enough to have seen me with a whisk in my hand will attest (under subpoena, at least). Using power tools for baking makes me sad, although I've definitely used them when producing on a commercial scale. But one angelfood cake? Let me at it, missy.

Also, what bakerz said regarding cold bowl and beaters. I've never used a copper bowl, due, sadly, to lack of same, but given that Harold McGee and Shirely Corriher (and probably Cook's Illustrated), after relevant expirimentation, recommend its efficacy, I'm inclined to believe it does make a difference, although maybe only in volume, not in time or effort spent.

It's only in volume. I got mine at a used bookstore (?) for cheap—big sale on.

96: You should have bought two and sent one to me, you insensitive dolt. I still love you though.

There was only one.

Well then you should have bought one and sent it to me, you insensitive dolt. My love for you is waning.

Just let me know when it's totally gone.

THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE!

Oh, you'll know w-lfs-n, you'll know. Then you'll be all alone with your ill-gotten copper bowl and your stiff peaks and then you'll be sorry.