Re: Titties! Hoor...Nevermind.

1

So, how is Ms. Giuliani?


Posted by: ML | Link to this comment | 08-23-08 5:56 PM
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"Those are some damn patriotic hands you have there, ma'am."


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 08-23-08 6:17 PM
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speaking of Mr. 9/11, has McCain become the same guy with his constant POW talk?


Posted by: will | Link to this comment | 08-23-08 6:24 PM
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I can't imagine a bigger bonerkiller

You must not be trying very hard.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 08-23-08 6:45 PM
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5

Even more disturbing to contemplate is the person for whom that tattoo would be a total turn-on.


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 08-23-08 6:48 PM
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I had the same reaction as 4.


Posted by: Walt Someguy | Link to this comment | 08-23-08 6:56 PM
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Even more disturbing to contemplate is the person for whom that tattoo would be a total turn-on.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 08-23-08 6:57 PM
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being face-to-face with 9/11 every time you're about to do it.

Doesn't make sense. You said the tattoo was on her front.


Posted by: Wrongshore | Link to this comment | 08-23-08 6:59 PM
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9

4, 6: For example.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 08-23-08 7:08 PM
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I can't imagine a bigger bonerkiller than being face-to-face with 9/11 every time you're about to do it.

Not to mention the inevitable jokes about the "twin towers."


Posted by: Populuxe | Link to this comment | 08-23-08 7:10 PM
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Eh. People do weird things sometimes. The tattoo is a conversation starter, if nothing else.

"So ..."

Use your imagination from there. I myself can't imagine the conversation ending anywhere except in an agreement not to discuss politics, but hey.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 08-23-08 7:13 PM
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9: Oh for fuck's sake.


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 08-23-08 7:18 PM
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O! The trepidation. Shall I click apo's link, knowing that nothing wholesome can come of it? Will the humor outweigh the nausea?

OK, very funny. Damn.


Posted by: JRoth | Link to this comment | 08-23-08 7:19 PM
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9: What the hell is that, even?


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 08-23-08 7:21 PM
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14: Ooh, an innocent!


Posted by: Minivet | Link to this comment | 08-23-08 7:31 PM
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15: Apparently so. It looks like someone fingerpainted on his chest. If it's supposed to resemble something, I can't imagine what. I see that the URL contains goatse, which I seem to remember is something or other.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 08-23-08 7:38 PM
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17

I wish I lived in your prelapsarian world, parsimon.


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 08-23-08 7:43 PM
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I figured it was something like that, JMcQ. Okay with me.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 08-23-08 7:50 PM
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9 is awesome. I can't believe I was scared to click on it.


Posted by: water moccasin | Link to this comment | 08-23-08 7:56 PM
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20

The biggest bonekiller for me is anything complicated but compelling. That tattoo would be the total death of sex. I'd start thinking about ways to understand it charitably: Why would a good hearted person with nice tits do this? And then uncharitably: I am going to bed with a bigot. Soon I would be lost in my own back and forth, and the person in front of me, along with her arousing tits, would be gone.

I really hope that in 10 years, everyone* will agree that 9/11 was "really weird at the time, but in the end, not world changing."

*Everyone on Earth. They guy I shared an office with that year kept saying "everything is different now." I wanted to say: You are from East Africa, aren't you used to crazy violence?


Posted by: rob helpy-chalk | Link to this comment | 08-23-08 8:00 PM
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9/11 will still be regarded as a major historical event 10 years from now. Calling it "weird" is as large as a category error as can be imagined.


Posted by: Walt Someguy | Link to this comment | 08-23-08 8:03 PM
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21: Why? What the fuck was new. The US was an empire whose enemies resorted to every tactic available before 9/11. The US was an empire whose enemies resorted to every tactic available after. The event gave us no new knowledge about the way the world worked, nor did it change the basic power relationships.


Posted by: rob helpy-chalk | Link to this comment | 08-23-08 8:13 PM
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Hey, I guess there's a new clean way to explain goatse now.


Posted by: Minivet | Link to this comment | 08-23-08 8:18 PM
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9/11 was a major historical event in large part because of the hysterical reaction to it. OTOH, it was not particularly surprising to anyone who had been paying attention (I know I certainly didn't need a briefing entitled "Bin Laden determined to strike in US" to know that Bin Laden was determined to strike in the US). In terms of the scale of disasters and crises that nations regularly weather, it was pretty minor.


Posted by: togolosh | Link to this comment | 08-23-08 8:32 PM
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Maybe you feel nothing towards your fellow country-men and -women, but some of the rest of us do.


Posted by: Walt Someguy | Link to this comment | 08-23-08 8:33 PM
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Rob gets it pretty much right in 20 about the tattoo, though anything complicated but compelling seems an overstatement. There's a lot of amazing complicated and compelling sex. But yeah, the internal back and forth regarding that woman's tattoo would inevitably result in sheer irritation: jesus christ, what the fuck were you thinking, woman, and who are you, anyway?! I wouldn't be able to take it. Guess she's going for a particular type.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 08-23-08 8:35 PM
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Why? What the fuck was new.

Hmm... how many non-military Americans had been killed by hostile political entities in the previous N years? Didn't it go from something like one or two a year with the occasional very newsworthy spike to maybe ten up to 3000 instantly? Which is what, 2.5 orders of magnitude?

It's a meaningful change.


Posted by: water moccasin | Link to this comment | 08-23-08 8:36 PM
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Are you people zombies? Maybe her brother was killed that day, and in her grief she got the tattoo. When you get dumped, or a relative dies, do you just sit around say "well, at least I wasn't eaten lions."


Posted by: Walt Someguy | Link to this comment | 08-23-08 8:38 PM
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The biggest bonekiller for me is anything complicated but compelling.

Like a tattoo of the end of the Tractatus; that would be the worst.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 08-23-08 8:42 PM
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I do think it's likely she lost a friend or family member; simple "patriotism" isn't as likely to inspire a tattoo like that. But that wouldm't make it any less distracting. Of course, I feel that way about most tattoos, so there's that.


Posted by: Brock Landers | Link to this comment | 08-23-08 8:45 PM
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29: Endlessly intriguing and confounding, you mean?


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 08-23-08 8:48 PM
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Now, I'm not a huge tattoo fan but I think breast tattoos are particularly bad. Breasts are perfect enough on their own; additional adornment can only detract.

Amen.

I can't imagine a bigger bonerkiller than being face-to-face with 9/11 every time you're about to do it.

I don't see how you get there: 'What do I say, "Is it ok if I'm circumcised?"'

max
['That's a terrifically tragic story.' 'Isn't it horrible what happened that day?' 'No, I mean the story about what happened to your breasts.']


Posted by: max | Link to this comment | 08-23-08 8:54 PM
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Are you people zombies? Maybe her brother was killed that day, and in her grief she got the tattoo. When you get dumped, or a relative dies, do you just sit around say "well, at least I wasn't eaten lions."

I might get a tattoo in remembrance, but not on my wang.


Posted by: peter | Link to this comment | 08-23-08 9:00 PM
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34

Some of us believe in unconditional love, peter.


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 08-23-08 9:02 PM
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I can't imagine a bigger bonerkiller than being face-to-face with 9/11 every time you're about to do it.

Actually:
'Hey, is it ok if do it from behind? Really? Keen! Um...what's this?'
'Didn't I tell you! It's my giant head of George Bush! It makes a pair with the front!'
'Oh, um, hey, yeah, lemme see the front again, I, um, want to admire it.'

max
[''Is there something wrong.' 'Nothing, nothing, something I ate, probably.']


Posted by: max | Link to this comment | 08-23-08 9:02 PM
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Orders of magnitude aren't that big a deal once you get used to them.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 08-23-08 9:04 PM
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'Hey, is it ok if do it from behind? Really? Keen! Um...what's this?'

I got an L on each cheek. See, when I do this, it spells LOL!


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 08-23-08 9:06 PM
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9/11 was a major historical event in large part because of the hysterical reaction to it.

Yeah. 9/11 was a major historical event because most people in the most powerful nation on Earth lost their shit over it, something that had catastrophic consequences for this country and for the rest of the world and of which we haven't seen the end.

(Which, of course, doesn't make turning your nipples into Windows on the World a swell idea.)


Posted by: Populuxe | Link to this comment | 08-23-08 9:38 PM
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22: The event gave us no new knowledge about the way the world worked

Who is "us"? How does "no new knowledge" fit in with all the talk here about "low information" citizens and voters?
Us paranoids into military history were expecting something for decades and even so that one was really surprising in its creativity.


Posted by: Biohazard | Link to this comment | 08-23-08 9:38 PM
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most people in the most powerful nation on Earth lost their shit over it

Told us a lot about ourselves, didn't it? Or should have. Then again, we kind of knew it already. Or should have.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 08-23-08 9:46 PM
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My first thought was that it might be ironic, after lal, 98% of my contact with this kind of shit is just that.

But if it isn't? Hate-fucking is underrated. It seems more suited to doggy style though.


Posted by: yoyo | Link to this comment | 08-23-08 9:57 PM
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I thought of 28 too.

Re. the "breasts are perfect, don't mess with them" thing--they're *her* breasts. She can kind of do what she wants with them, no?


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 08-23-08 10:00 PM
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43

Among other things, 9/11 ruined air travel, country music, and the flag.


Posted by: Spike | Link to this comment | 08-23-08 10:00 PM
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44

A boob is a weird place for a tattoo. I am imagining making the towers undulate.


Posted by: Cala | Link to this comment | 08-23-08 10:04 PM
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45

Re. the "breasts are perfect, don't mess with them" thing--they're *her* breasts. She can kind of do what she wants with them, no?

What has the second part of this sentence to do with the latter? I don't endorse talk of ruining breasts, but one person's freedom to what she pleases and another's to judge that the first did something stupid are compatible.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 08-23-08 10:08 PM
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42: The thing is, even if she had a loved one killed, tattoos are theoretically forever, and declaring the intention never to forget, never to work past, a tragic event in one's life is problematic. We have scars for that; perhaps one can view her tattoo as an intentional scarring, but one that declares itself publicly. Like advertising. Weird.

As for "breasts are perfect as they are and don't need adornment": just seems odd. All parts of all bodies are in theory perfect and don't need adornment. Let's all go nekkid! And yet we do adorn ourselves, constantly and obsessively.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 08-23-08 10:09 PM
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I have a friend who has a question mark tattooed on one of her boobs. A boob seems a pretty good place for a tattoo, actually--it's easy to control whether or not you display the tattoo with clothing, and it's probably a relatively painless place to have the work done. Much better than the lower back or anyplace bony.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 08-23-08 10:10 PM
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declaring the intention never to forget, never to work past, a tragic event in one's life is problematic

Have you never lost a loved one? Serious question.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 08-23-08 10:11 PM
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declaring the intention never to forget, never to work past, a tragic event in one's life is problematic.

Never forgetting is not the same thing as never working past.


Posted by: Di Kotimy | Link to this comment | 08-23-08 10:15 PM
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I have a friend who has a question mark tattooed on one of her boobs.

Titties? Hooray?


Posted by: mrh | Link to this comment | 08-23-08 10:15 PM
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51

48: Yes. Why? I mean, you don't forget it (hence my reference to scarring, a term I actually don't use in a negative sense), but you can't remain forever focused on it, looking at it in the mirror every day. You have to keep breathing.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 08-23-08 10:17 PM
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52

Never forgetting is not the same thing as never working past.

I know. I realized that wasn't well-phrased after I posted.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 08-23-08 10:19 PM
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53

I can't imagine a bigger bonerkiller than being face-to-face with 9/11 every time you're about to do it.

A representation of the Donner party in the cleavage.

A moving tribute to the Edmund Fitzgerald.

One of the breasts being incorporated as the nose of the Hindenburg.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 08-23-08 10:31 PM
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isn't that excatly what tattoos are about? symbolizing one's temporal instatiaton, choices being permament, no redos, etc.


Posted by: yoyo | Link to this comment | 08-23-08 10:32 PM
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which also makes me think that its weird there isn't a pop-culture tie between tattoos and the 'men don't like to comittt" meme


Posted by: yoyo | Link to this comment | 08-23-08 10:33 PM
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56

51: But at the time of it happening--especially if it's a sudden, unexpected event--you *do* vow not to work past it. Because the whole *idea* of working "past" someone's death implies forgetting or softening, and that feels like a terrible betrayal.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 08-23-08 10:33 PM
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57

is putting someone in the ground instead of leaving them in there deathbead a betrayla tooo?


Posted by: yoyo | Link to this comment | 08-23-08 10:34 PM
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I have a friend who has a question mark tattooed on one of her boobs.

A rhetorical question mark would be excellent.


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 08-23-08 10:34 PM
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I got an L on each cheek. See, when I do this, it spells LOL!

And then she got L on the inside of one thigh and LZ on the inside of the other.

She can kind of do what she wants with them, no?

Just like the guy who got his scalp peeled back and coral deposits er, grown to his head so he could have horns.

Titties? Hooray?

Future footnote, The Great Titty Debates, Vol. IX.

max
['The Lithuanians cannot play basketball.']


Posted by: max | Link to this comment | 08-23-08 10:40 PM
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56: That's going to depend an awful lot on the circumstances of the death. I understand what you say. Certainly, if the death seemed the result of evil doings on someone's part, then one might feel a righteous or vengeance-related need never to forget.

If the woman in question did indeed have a loved one killed on 9/11, it's understandable, if startlingly angry. She should go to a support group.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 08-23-08 10:45 PM
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When my fucking *cat* died (at the ripe old age of 18) I found people telling me that my grief would fade offensive. I don't think it has to be righteousness or vengeance to feel that part of the tragedy of death is that the awfulness of it fades over time.

57: It feels like it to many people, yes.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 08-23-08 10:48 PM
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61: Agreed that being told that grief will fade is offensive. Nobody should say such things.

part of the tragedy of death is that the awfulness of it fades over time

Here we just differ, I think: part of the blessing of death is that the awfulness of it fades over time. Or perhaps that's part of the blessing of life.

I'm afraid I'm sounding glib, and don't mean to be. I have a very hard time with death, actually. Uncontrolled sobbing, even over a cat. I'm not good at funerals.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 08-23-08 11:00 PM
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I didn't mean to get hung up on what people should say to the bereaved--that was badly put. I just meant to try to illustrate that for me at the time, the idea of losing the pain of the thing was exactly the opposite of what I wanted to happen. So I can see someone who lost an actual person getting a tattoo that says "never forget" very easily. Heck, where I live people put stickers with the names, birth and death dates of loved ones in the back windshield of their cars. Memorial tattoos are pretty common.

All that said, I can see thinking that a picture of the *buildings* rather than of the loved one, or the loved one's name, seems a little odd and probably is what suggests that the tattoo might not be a memorial to an actual person. People get all sorts of things done in times of high feeling, but yes, now that I think about it, the idea of displaying that tattoo many years later does rather suggest that the woman's identity is strongly bound up in being a New Yorker Who Lived Through 9/11. Which is a little strange now, but at the time, I think was probably pretty common, really. Maybe she or a loved one is/was a cop or a firefighter or something.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 08-23-08 11:08 PM
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the trajedy and belssing can be the same thing, you know.

that said the feting of 9/11 is one of the craziest things to me. The day it happened i thought people would have forgoten it a week later.


Posted by: yoyo | Link to this comment | 08-23-08 11:11 PM
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Maybe she or a loved one is/was a cop or a firefighter or something.

Yeah, I thought of that too. I'm a fan of Denis Leary's show Rescue Me, which is premised on this.

Anyway, yes, it's the depiction of the buildings themselves that's weird, seems like advertising, or even branding, and makes me want to suggest to the hypothetical woman we're building here that she try to get past it, so too bad about that tattoo, eh? Or she may just be a raving jingoistic lunatic.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 08-23-08 11:24 PM
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||

K—ran S-t-y-, or someone in Pittsburgh with the keys to his admittedly disused blog, appears to have added my blog to his blogroll sometime this morning (or certainly between 11 days ago, when google last cached it, and today), after having googled for "waste w-lfs-n".

He read the post about saltwater and buoyancy but not the comments about D-v-ds-n. I don't know what to make of that.

|>


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 08-23-08 11:36 PM
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Not that I'd read the comments about D-v-ds-n if I could help it.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 08-23-08 11:36 PM
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This surely bears investigation, ben! For sure! What's wrong with comments about D-v-ds-n? I'd read them. I don't know who K- blah blah blah is anyway, though.

'night.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 08-23-08 11:44 PM
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Well, parsley, you can, on my blog, if you're really bored. And not asleep.

(He's a real philosopher, with, like, tenure. This is making me paranoid and antsy.)


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 08-23-08 11:48 PM
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70

To sleep now. Later.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 08-23-08 11:53 PM
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71

Speaking of titties and adornment, I saw a young woman (20s, I'd say) who had apparently applied a subtle touch of makeup between her breasts that, from a distance, produced a striking trompe l'oeil cleavage effect. Is this common? Is it one of those "secret" techniques like taping back your boobs to make them taut that everyone knows but no one acknowledges using?


Posted by: Knecht Ruprecht | Link to this comment | 08-24-08 1:07 AM
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64: For at least a year after 9/11 I couldn't sleep properly because things were bad and getting worse.

Not because of a terrorist attack that killed 3000 people, but because of the predictable but nonetheless awful American reaction to that attack.


Posted by: Jesurgislac | Link to this comment | 08-24-08 2:15 AM
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re: 71

I've seen it recommended in makeover type articles in magazines.

re: 47

I was in London a few weeks back and there was a girl standing beside me on the tube with two cat's paws tattoo'd on her breasts. One either side of the cleavage. Given what she was wearing, she was clearly very proud of 'em [both the breasts and the tattoos].

Someone else I know [an acquaintance rather than a friend] has one of those black geometric/tribal tattoos that loops down round her neck and across the chest. It looks pretty cool. With a t-shirt on you can just see a little bit of tattoo around the shoulder/neck area, but with a vest, you can see it continues down across the chest.


Posted by: nattarGcM ttaM | Link to this comment | 08-24-08 2:48 AM
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61, 62 - when someone I was close to died suddenly, I think the only things that kept me going was the thought that one day I wouldn't feel quite as awful. The idea of purposely wanting to maintain that level of grief makes me feel a bit faint.


Posted by: asilon | Link to this comment | 08-24-08 4:35 AM
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71: I'm not sure I'd know about it except for an actor friend in college who was utterly flat-chested, except when made up for the stage or occasional nights out.

I think it's not so widely known because it's mostly limited to the (fairly) flat-chested. Or maybe it's very widely used, but the women are good at keeping that particular secret.


Posted by: JRoth | Link to this comment | 08-24-08 5:13 AM
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Some breasts, like some necks, noses, legs, etc, are more perfect than others. Whether adornment materially detracts would depend.

I think I probably would 'never forget', as admonished, if confronted with the tattoo in a single encounter. Seeing it regularly, though, it becomes invisible.


Posted by: Nápi | Link to this comment | 08-24-08 5:22 AM
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For the price of the Iraq War, we could distend enough anuses that Apo and his descendents could reference one of them in each comment they posted, until the sun's expansion made the earth uninhabitable.


Posted by: Neil the Ethical Werewolf | Link to this comment | 08-24-08 7:29 AM
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That's an awful lot of distended anuses, Neil. I might have to see the math on that one.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 08-24-08 7:39 AM
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Well, we would have to exclusively employ developing world anuses.


Posted by: Neil the Ethical Werewolf | Link to this comment | 08-24-08 7:47 AM
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You'd have to screen carefully so that the same anus didn't appear multiple times in different guises. You'd really need a knowledgable, impartial audit committee.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 08-24-08 7:58 AM
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73: I was in London a few weeks back and there was a girl standing beside me on the tube with two cat's paws tattoo'd on her breasts. One either side of the cleavage.

This is the Eve look.


Posted by: DS | Link to this comment | 08-24-08 8:28 AM
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re: 81

Yes, exactly like that, only a little lower down.


Posted by: | Link to this comment | 08-24-08 8:37 AM
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Bah, that was me.


Posted by: nattarGcM ttaM | Link to this comment | 08-24-08 8:44 AM
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84

The other week I was riding the 4 and there was a slightly nerdy looking thirtyish chubby african american woman reading the Times wearing a tank. Peeking out from the tank was some cleavage and one the inside of one of her breasts was an erect penis. I think somebody had a bit too much too drink one night.


Posted by: tkm | Link to this comment | 08-24-08 8:51 AM
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Peeking out from the tank was some cleavage and one the inside of one of her breasts was an erect penis

Interesting, but this is a tattoo thread. I wonder whose it was?!


Posted by: Fatman | Link to this comment | 08-24-08 9:10 AM
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86

The best tattoo I ever saw was a carrot on a young woman's ankle. No tattoo could be less tattooish, ever.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 08-24-08 9:12 AM
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86: In one of Louis Sachar's "Wayside School" books there is a story about this really timid kid who becomes cool for a while when everyone hears that he got a tattoo. But then they find out that the tattoo was of a potato. He doesn't understand what could be a better tattoo than that.


Posted by: Fatman | Link to this comment | 08-24-08 9:18 AM
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||

I just heard Monica Crowley for the first time on TV. What a ranting moron. It's like you took a generic housewife and had her memorize neocon talking points.

|>


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 08-24-08 9:41 AM
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||

McCain is Walter Sobchak.

|>


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 08-24-08 9:47 AM
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90

Walter Sobchak was way more interesting than McCain.


Posted by: DS | Link to this comment | 08-24-08 9:52 AM
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God damn you Walter! You fuckin' asshole! Everything's a fuckin' travesty with you, man! And what was all that shit about Vietnam? What the FUCK, has anything got to do with Vietnam? What the fuck are you talking about?


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 08-24-08 9:53 AM
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92

91: Point.


Posted by: DS | Link to this comment | 08-24-08 9:57 AM
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93

Everything isn't about Vietnam. But everything is about "The Big Lebowski", or maybe "Fargo".


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 08-24-08 10:05 AM
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94

55: You mean like this?


Posted by: Cosma | Link to this comment | 08-24-08 10:05 AM
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93: we're going to this in a couple of weeks. Problem is, I don't like white russians. But he used to play in The Dead Hensons, and they're opening up the festival.


Posted by: Belle Lettre | Link to this comment | 08-24-08 10:10 AM
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96

Another Mongolian medal, boxing silver. Alas, the Mongol was injured and the Chinese got gold.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 08-24-08 10:18 AM
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Problem is, I don't like white russians.

I know a white russian and she's very nice.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 08-24-08 10:19 AM
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another boxer Badar-Uugan got a gold medal my niece wrote me, people are crazy celebrating
i liked Serdamba, it's a pity he got injured, hopefully nothing serious


Posted by: read | Link to this comment | 08-24-08 10:20 AM
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A moving tribute to the Edmund Fitzgerald.

Shit, for a moment I read that as "a moving tribute to the Edward Fitzgerald."

A pair of titties underneath the bough
A loaf of bread, a jug of wine, and... Wow!"


Posted by: OneFatEnglishman | Link to this comment | 08-24-08 10:21 AM
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Four medals for Mongolia now, in boxing, shooting, and judo. A fifth Mongol got a shooting bronze for Germany.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 08-24-08 10:24 AM
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101

||

Happy Birthday, Yasir Arafat, Steve Guttenberg, and Jorge Luis Borges!

|>


Posted by: Wrongshore | Link to this comment | 08-24-08 10:24 AM
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If you're fishing WS, you've caught one. HBWS!


Posted by: Nápi | Link to this comment | 08-24-08 10:30 AM
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Sly, WS. Happy Birthday.


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 08-24-08 10:45 AM
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or someone in Pittsburgh with the keys to his admittedly disused blog

I confess, it was me. I shoulder-surfed his password one day in the Dirty-O. The link was step one in a guerrilla campaign to slowly turn that blog into a overwhelming refutation of academic philosophy as currently practiced. By the end of the campaign all of John Emerson's greatest hits will be made directly available there.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 08-24-08 10:48 AM
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Thank you, my little carp. Off to the almost-in-laws' pool for bagel brunch.


Posted by: Wrongshore | Link to this comment | 08-24-08 10:49 AM
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I shoulda known, JP.


I shoulda known.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 08-24-08 10:51 AM
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Happy birthday, Wrongshore! How were the Eureka sand dunes? Did you record the whistling sound produced by your naked bodies surfing the sand?


Posted by: Belle Lettre | Link to this comment | 08-24-08 10:58 AM
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89-92: McCain is Walter Sobchak.

I propose, "A whine, an excuse and POW" as the new "A noun, a verb and 9/11".


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 08-24-08 11:17 AM
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And while off topic on politics, this from Mark Halperin is one of the most wankerish things that I have ever heard of on Sunday Morning Talk shows (and that is saying something). Shorter Halperin on the housing gaffe: "You'll be sorry Dems, McCain doesn't have to be Mister Nice Guy" anymore.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 08-24-08 11:25 AM
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Josh Micah M. thinks that this is Halpern's worst ever, maybe anyone's.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 08-24-08 11:31 AM
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It is pretty rich: the people who went around with band-aids 4 years ago are going to take the gloves off.


Posted by: Nápi | Link to this comment | 08-24-08 11:33 AM
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More Olympic hula-hoop on for Tim right now.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 08-24-08 11:44 AM
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Or he could watch the ball game. Pedroia's 3 run homer, followed by a double from Ortiz, makes it more than worth it.


Posted by: Nápi | Link to this comment | 08-24-08 11:47 AM
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As for "breasts are perfect as they are and don't need adornment": just seems odd. All parts of all bodies are in theory perfect and don't need adornment.

Completely agree. It's almost as if some people are fetishizing breasts, of all things. Bizarre.


Posted by: Brock Landers | Link to this comment | 08-24-08 11:57 AM
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It has just occurred to me that a certain segment of Tampa Bay fans could become truly insufferable if they end up with the best record in the AL the same year they dropped the 'Devil' from the name. Please God, I know you already smote Longoria, but could you also smite Iwamura and maybe a couple of others? You know, your choice.


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 08-24-08 12:05 PM
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a certain segment of Tampa Bay fans could become truly insufferable

Given the relative size of the relevant fanbases, an insufferable segment of Tampa Bay fans is an incredibly small price to pay for Red Sox and Yankee fans receiving a karmic bloody nose.


Posted by: Gabriel | Link to this comment | 08-24-08 12:15 PM
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91: Just how many blogs do you plan to post that at today?


Posted by: Josh | Link to this comment | 08-24-08 12:20 PM
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I think we need to take up a collection to buy John a new movie.


Posted by: Cala | Link to this comment | 08-24-08 12:30 PM
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I sort of feel like cheering a woman who desexualizes her breasts, even though that probably wasn't part of her calculation. I'm of the camp "Can we please desexualize women's bodies a notch or two?" even though it makes me feel like a total killjoy.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 08-24-08 12:34 PM
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118: Yeah, something like Full Metal Jacket should do the trick.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 08-24-08 12:34 PM
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118: Miller's Crossing or Raising Arizona? I'm not sure anything else would take at this point.


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 08-24-08 12:35 PM
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"I'd like to desexualize that woman's body a notch or two, IYKWIM."


Posted by: Brock Landers | Link to this comment | 08-24-08 12:36 PM
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119: Is Kristin Lems "Mammary Glands" well Known? If not it should be. Cannot find a YouTube or mp3.

Mammary glands - wo wo! Mother nature's dairy delight
You can't make cream or butter cause it's just a human udder
And a natural mammalian sight.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 08-24-08 12:40 PM
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If you must shove your titty in somebody's face, shove it in a baby's!


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 08-24-08 12:46 PM
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123: Is Kristin Lems "Mammary Glands" well Known?

Is OUR children learNing they're grammar and capitialization?


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 08-24-08 12:46 PM
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117: about 10, maybe 15.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 08-24-08 12:50 PM
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--


Posted by: | Link to this comment | 08-24-08 1:01 PM
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||

HR Crisp. This really is pretty good.

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Posted by: Nápi | Link to this comment | 08-24-08 1:15 PM
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And Ellsbury nearly left his face on the fence. Man, that looked painful.

This continuation of baseball talk is in the interest of desexualizing breasts. For heebie.


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 08-24-08 1:18 PM
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||

So, earlier this afternoon I was actually on the Veldt. And I didn't feel one damn bit like propagating my genes widely or using my superior spatial reasoning and upper body strength to spear an animal. It's just one data point, of course, but I thought the evolutionary psychologists should be aware.

|>


Posted by: Knecht Ruprecht | Link to this comment | 08-24-08 1:44 PM
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And I didn't feel one damn bit like propagating my genes widely or using my superior spatial reasoning and upper body strength to spear an animal.

You were too busy thinking about breasts, weren't you?


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 08-24-08 2:00 PM
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What an awesome game. Woohoo Manny D!


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 08-24-08 2:44 PM
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Just admit it already. You guys are talking baseball just so you can last longer in the boob thread. It's not like we've never hear of that trick.


Posted by: Di Kotimy | Link to this comment | 08-24-08 2:48 PM
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So, earlier this afternoon I was actually on the Veldt.

Cool! Did you meet Gau?


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 08-24-08 3:24 PM
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Like a tattoo of the end of the Tractatus; that would be the worst.

Those colored squares would be a kinda cool tattoo.


Posted by: Blume | Link to this comment | 08-24-08 3:36 PM
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You guys are talking baseball just so you can last longer in the boob thread.

Busted.

And if we talk football, will you show us your tattoos?


Posted by: Nápi | Link to this comment | 08-24-08 4:48 PM
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I sort of feel like cheering a woman who desexualizes her breasts

Once that baby gets here, heebie's gonna have a rack you won't believe.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 08-24-08 4:57 PM
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Is Kristin Lems "Mammary Glands" well Known?

I don't know it, but Cindy Kallet's "I'm a Mammal" is quite good (I can't find lyrics for that either).


Posted by: NickS | Link to this comment | 08-24-08 5:12 PM
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138: I do have the full lyrics at least:

chorus:
Mammary glands - wo wo! Mother nature's dairy delight
You can't make cream or butter cause it's just a human udder
And a natural mammalian sight.

Do you wanna pay to take a peek
At what drives men insane?
Well they're in anthro books galore and I'm
Just sure that you'll adore 'em,
Even cave women have the same two simple
chorus

The men decided that a certain shape
Stands out more than the rest
Well they made such a major issue
Women stuff their bras with tissue,
Thrust shoulders back to look their best, show off their
chorus

If you're more than 36, you are desirable
So don't be shy, they'll pay
For once you finally sold out, you may get a center foldout
They dig your dugs, you're on the way, with famous
chorus

It's a multimillion dollar enterprise
But no one know what it's about
If we'd think before we'd buy it
We'd bust the myth, we would defy it
And we might stand up and shout, "They're only"
chorus


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 08-24-08 5:53 PM
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Brock,

I admire the alliteration in "bigger bonerkiller," although it doesn't flow easily off the tongue, and if you hit the 'r's hard like many of us in the midwest it may sound a bit hostile, which perhaps in not such a bad reading of the phrase.

Regarding the reaction to 9/11 - anyone who lost anyone close deserves sympathy and understanding. I can also understand how New Yorkers would feel vulnerability and anger, big anger. They were literally hit close to home.

What yanked my chain were the cowardly paranoid idiots out here in armpit MN who were convinced that they, personally, were now targets and had to be afraid, very afraid.

All the sudden they were seeing death around every corner and in every small pile of sheet-rock dust.

Yes, we had a big chemical scare about what turned out to be dust from workers cutting sheet-rock. And the authorities were telling everyone 'better safe than sorry' and I was thinking "Jesus Christ people, grow a pair! For one thing we are nobodies living in the middle of nowhere and any terrorist who wanted to target us would be laughed out of the suicide bomber union. For another if you want to live your life walking around so tight you couldn't pull a needle out of your ass with a tractor that is your right I suppose but I for one am ready to meet my maker with a loose butthole and head held high." Or something like that only sounding more brave and heroic-like and less promiscuous.


Posted by: Tripp | Link to this comment | 08-25-08 8:12 AM
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Why was 140 addressed to me?


Posted by: Brock Landers | Link to this comment | 08-25-08 8:23 AM
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9/11 was your fault, right?


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 08-25-08 8:29 AM
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141:

Why was 140 addressed to me?

Oh, shoot, my bad. I read "Becks" and remembered it as "Brock."

I suspect it is either age or Monday morningness or perhaps a trivial mistake but for sure it was a mistake.

Sorry.


Posted by: Tripp | Link to this comment | 08-25-08 8:34 AM
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The alliteration praise should go to Becks and the rest was not directed at anyone in particular.


Posted by: Tripp | Link to this comment | 08-25-08 8:35 AM
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I do love (seriously, I think it's a very nifty thing about the site) that people get confused about who's a frontpage poster and who isn't. Wasn't there someone who was puzzled to realize that Cala wasn't one, after having believed she was for an extended period of time?


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 08-25-08 8:38 AM
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138 warms my heart.

142, too.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 08-25-08 8:46 AM
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145: that would be me. There was well over a year in which I'd have sworn she posted here.


Posted by: Brock Landers | Link to this comment | 08-25-08 8:52 AM
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I do love (seriously, I think it's a very nifty thing about the site) that people get confused about who's a frontpage poster and who isn't. Wasn't there someone who was puzzled to realize that Cala wasn't one, after having believed she was for an extended period of time?

Well since 4 of the posters listed on the sidebar no longer exist, and one only posts about once a month, and there are (4?) front page posters who aren't listed on the sidebar, it's understandable.

Probably the mythical "Tia" person is conflated with Cala in people's minds.


Posted by: Fatman | Link to this comment | 08-25-08 8:54 AM
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145: I'm confused about who's a front-page poster these days. Was Standpipe Bridgeplate's tenure an extended joke? Who was that m---- guy? Were there just alot of firings? For a while, I thought Unfogged was just going to become ben manipulating various puppets.


Posted by: destroyer | Link to this comment | 08-25-08 8:55 AM
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I thought Unfogged was just going to become ben manipulating various puppets

Oh, please. Ben is just the pretty face we put out front.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 08-25-08 8:59 AM
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The mysterious 'm' guy is a multiply-blogged real-name blogger, who asked if he could post stuff that was too hot for his realname blogs here. Apparently there wasn't much. SB is still on, just slacking. And all the new people should write themselves "about" squibs - they're all slackers.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 08-25-08 8:59 AM
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Well since 4 of the posters listed on the sidebar no longer exist

You had them killed?

Never let it be said all fat men are jolly.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 08-25-08 9:01 AM
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And all the new people should write themselves "about" squibs

For the record, I submitted one at some point. Yell at Becks.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 08-25-08 9:09 AM
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Becks is having an insanely busy August, I'm told.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 08-25-08 9:12 AM
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Those things are all lies anyway. Just change the "Bob" one to say "Heebie-Geebie".


Posted by: Fatman | Link to this comment | 08-25-08 9:12 AM
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Poor Becks. And now everyone is yelling at her.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 08-25-08 9:15 AM
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I'm whispering seductively to her, but she can't hear it because of all you fuckers yelling.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 08-25-08 9:17 AM
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156: stupid, heebie! STUPID.

(Now I'm yelling at you! Becks'll be my best friend!)


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 08-25-08 9:19 AM
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Becks responds best to drill seargent-like scare tactics. By coddling her you're simply prolonging her pain.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 08-25-08 9:22 AM
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Becks responds best to drill seargent-like scare tactics.

And post-hypnotic suggestion. Watch this.

Hey, Becks: cantaloupe.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 08-25-08 9:26 AM
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Is Becks the only person with access to the bio pages, or what? Where the fuck is w-lfs-n?


Posted by: Brock Landers | Link to this comment | 08-25-08 9:26 AM
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I was trying to give Becks warm fuzzies and they went to Brock by mistake but at least he responded.

Ben never replies to my warm fuzzy sucking up either so I'm gonna hafta pout about that.


Posted by: Tripp | Link to this comment | 08-25-08 9:32 AM
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Maybe you need to shave.


Posted by: peter | Link to this comment | 08-25-08 9:33 AM
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thanks very


Posted by: yurek | Link to this comment | 08-16-09 7:37 PM
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