Re: Unfiltered

1

That Van Jones interview is great.


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 09- 6-08 5:46 PM
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* "for the lede -- if nothing else"

Man, I should read Grist more often. Composting! Heh. The most immediately cool thing about it is how much less trash you generate. I hate taking out the trash.

This has been your obligatory thumbs-up.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 09- 6-08 5:47 PM
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Toss in just about everything that isn't dairy, meat, fish, or oils and fats

You can't compost those things? Meat, even? Bones, egg shells, even? All of those things are supposed to go in the composting bin according to sf recycling guidelines.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 09- 6-08 5:50 PM
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My family's compost heap never produced anything useful, because it turned into a late-night diner for raccoons.


Posted by: Minivet | Link to this comment | 09- 6-08 5:53 PM
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You could have caught the raccoons and turned them into something useful, but you didn't, for lack of innovation and elbow grease.

I think we know where the blame lies.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 09- 6-08 5:55 PM
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A friend of mine had a compost pile that caught fire—not a big conflagration, just a flame burning what I assume was escaping methane on the top of the pile. It was as though it had been visited by the Holy Spirit.


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 09- 6-08 6:05 PM
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The problem with meat and such is rats -- vegetable garbage doesn't attract them nearly as much. Eggshells have never been a problem, though.

I've always loved compost heaps. I built a frame with my dad for the one in my parents backyard at our summer place -- it's not really well managed as a system for producing high-end compost, but it's a spectacularly convenient way of getting rid of your organic garbage. And it just seems like magic -- nasty rotting banana peels and such turning into beautiful dirt-smelling compost.

Now that we have keys to the community garden down the street, I'm considering tactfully proposing a compost heap. Honestly, mostly to dispose of yard waste and produce compost to dig into the garden. But we'd really need some kitchen garbage to get the yard waste going. If we could carry out our wet garbage to a compost heap, we'd hardly throw anything away.

Unfortunately, I'm not sure that the lovely old guy who runs the community garden would percieve a compost heap as anything better than a rotting pile of garbage, given that in thirty years of running it he hasn't put one in. So this may require a lot of tact.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 09- 6-08 6:10 PM
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"Stop Russia from using cluster munitions"

Maybe a good idea to start at home on this one?


Posted by: nattarGcM ttaM | Link to this comment | 09- 6-08 6:15 PM
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Our family's compost heap did provide a useful source of protein for the cat since it attracted birds. She treated the compost heap as bait and would sit on top of the garden shed waiting to drop on the birds from above. The reversal -- cat coming from the sky -- must have messed with their heads.


Posted by: nattarGcM ttaM | Link to this comment | 09- 6-08 6:16 PM
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7: mostly to dispose of yard waste

You do need to be a bit careful about this, though. Yard waste that includes grasses/weeds that have gone to seed will produce compost in which the seeds haven't really decomposed -- seeds have those hard shells or coatings for a reason. Result being that you're then digging weed seeds into your garden. OOPS.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 09- 6-08 6:22 PM
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That Van Jones interview is great.

It is. He's so clear a communicator, that alone is inspiring.

NickS's music blog, but never threw him a link.

Thanks. This inspires me that I should write some of the new posts that I've been thinking about.


Posted by: NickS | Link to this comment | 09- 6-08 6:36 PM
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Eh, the garden's knee deep in weeds as it is -- I don't think the bottleneck is availablity of weed seeds. But of course you're right: that's why you're supposed to do the serious "Build a carefully constructed pile of alternating layers of greens and browns, turn it every couple of days, and in three weeks or so it's done" routine, which gets hot enough to kill most weeds, instead of what I've always done, which is throw waste into a pile, turn it enough that it doesn't smell, keep on adding stuff until it gets unworkably big, and then shovel it onto a garden someplace and start a new pile. This is low-end, half-ass composting, but I still love it.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 09- 6-08 6:36 PM
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He's so clear a communicator

Uh, I hope I didn't just call him "articulate".

Seriously, though, I've heard people talk about the connection between "green" ecological concerns and social justice issues before, but never that straightforwardly.


Posted by: NickS | Link to this comment | 09- 6-08 6:39 PM
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This is low-end, half-ass composting, but I still love it.

Oh, never! One never engages in half-ass composting! (insert emoticon)


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 09- 6-08 6:42 PM
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My new book, "Full-Assed Composting Made Easy" will solve these problems.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 09- 6-08 6:44 PM
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Libertarian calls out Obama on his undergraduate GPA.

The libertarians are a mixed and often quite nasty bag.

The guy actually uses the time-tested phrase "I don't have a racist bone in my body". Jesse Helms's femur probably wasn't racist either.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 09- 6-08 6:49 PM
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Full-assed storytelling.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 09- 6-08 6:49 PM
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But the thing Root really wanted to talk about was Obama's grades. Specifically, he was willing to bet a million dollars that he earned a better grade point average at Columbia than his old classmate, and that the only reason Obama went on to Harvard Law School was the color of his skin.

Garsh! Root sure doesn't sound bitter.

Does Reason have pretensions to being intellectually serious, or at least not laughable? Why are they publishing this tripe?


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 09- 6-08 6:50 PM
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The GPA should be disestablished, along with the SAT and the IQ.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 09- 6-08 6:52 PM
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I have a racist temporal bone. I try reasoning with it, but it's just too dense.


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 09- 6-08 6:53 PM
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I have a charming parietal bone.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 09- 6-08 6:55 PM
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The interview linked in 16 isn't some sort of lame attempt at parody? It's so hard to read it as anything else.


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 09- 6-08 6:59 PM
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disestablished

Ooh, I like this word.


Posted by: Witt | Link to this comment | 09- 6-08 7:00 PM
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The link in 16 is either a piece of heavy-handed and not especially funny satire or really really pathetic.


Posted by: nattarGcM ttaM | Link to this comment | 09- 6-08 7:00 PM
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Bugger, pwned.


Posted by: nattarGcM ttaM | Link to this comment | 09- 6-08 7:01 PM
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because of course the only important factor in admissions decisions is GPA...


Posted by: ninjaphilosopher | Link to this comment | 09- 6-08 7:02 PM
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As a Brit I'm proudly sure my 'GPA'-equivalent is lower than all of y'all.


Posted by: nattarGcM ttaM | Link to this comment | 09- 6-08 7:04 PM
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than all of y'all.

I think the right form is "than all y'alls's", but as a Brit, you wouldn't know that.


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 09- 6-08 7:07 PM
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I like how you're trying to pass as Southern now, ttaM.

(Good grief, that interview. I'm torn between wincing in embarassment and being pretty angry that Reason gave him a forum. I also love how "nobody" turns into "none of my circle of white friends.")


Posted by: Witt | Link to this comment | 09- 6-08 7:07 PM
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Being an American, I just assumed right off that it was straight and really horrible, but I can understand how unsophistacted individuals from the dependencies might not understand our ways.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 09- 6-08 7:08 PM
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Hard-core libertarianism is a form of fundamentalism. There's no reasoning with someone who fetishizes Reason.


Posted by: Mary Catherine | Link to this comment | 09- 6-08 7:09 PM
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What kind of libertarian listens to a guidance counselor? Or did Root apply and fail?


Posted by: TJ | Link to this comment | 09- 6-08 7:10 PM
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Having read half of the thing linked in 16, I'd say it's rather funny. I take it Reason is not supposed to be funny.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 09- 6-08 7:10 PM
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You can't compost those things? Meat, even? Bones, egg shells, even? All of those things are supposed to go in the composting bin according to sf recycling guidelines.

With the exception of egg shells, those other things don't compost well in a backyard-sized compost pile. But a city can make these huge, carefully managed compost heaps that generate enough heat and microbial activity to break down meat, bones, lobster shells, etc.

Also, Grist is very worth reading, especially the column Victual Reality (written by an old pal of mine who now lives in Teh Apostropher State), and LB's "lazy" method of composting is perfectly respectable and effective.


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 09- 6-08 7:14 PM
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Next question:

"OK, you're the VP candidate of a chickenshit factionalized third or fourth party that has already had at least one major financial scandal despite never having had any money*. The other guy is the Presidential candidate of one of the major parties and favored to win, and he's also put together an organization which is the best thing that the Democratic Party has seen in 40 years. And you're setting your superior GPA against that? Couldn't Ted Kaczynski do the same?"

*Browne used Party money to try to ensure his own control of the party.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 09- 6-08 7:15 PM
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Does Reason have pretensions to being intellectually serious, or at least not laughable? Why are they publishing this tripe?

They have a weird commitment to covering big-L Libertarian stories in addition to the generally good work they do on civil liberties issues, so you get lots of crazy stuff on fringe political figures. Sometimes it can be entertaining, but just publishing an interview transcript is kind of half assed.


Posted by: Matt F | Link to this comment | 09- 6-08 7:16 PM
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Having read the second half of the thing linked in 16, it's less funny. Sorry about that. Premature commenting: bad habit.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 09- 6-08 7:17 PM
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LB's "lazy" method of composting is perfectly respectable and effective.

We're not supposed to encourage her. Trust me.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 09- 6-08 7:18 PM
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re: 28

I do know that. But I've also drunk quite a bit so wasn't paying enough attention.


Posted by: nattarGcM ttaM | Link to this comment | 09- 6-08 7:23 PM
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!!!!!!
thanks, Austin crew, for revealing all Emerson's nefarious plans.


Posted by: Blume | Link to this comment | 09- 6-08 7:25 PM
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Further to 39:

I've just spent a couple of minutes trying work out what the 2nd person possessive plural pronoun is in Scots, and ... I don't know. Maybe there isn't one.


Posted by: nattarGcM ttaM | Link to this comment | 09- 6-08 7:26 PM
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40: Awww shucks. Tweren't nuthin'.

(Online version will be posted soon so that everyone not in with the in crowd will know what we're talking about.)


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 09- 6-08 7:28 PM
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43

Yeah, what the hell?


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 09- 6-08 7:30 PM
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44

This book suggests "yous(e)".

I think it would be simpler just to go back to "thou/thee" as the singular and "ye/you" as the plural and formal pronouns.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 09- 6-08 7:32 PM
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45

I've heard "youans's" from a Tennesseean relative.


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 09- 6-08 7:34 PM
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34: Thanks for the pointer to Victual Reality; the current post there on the Slow Food Thingum in SF is good.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 09- 6-08 7:35 PM
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47

I'm sure that I have nefarious plans that were missed.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 09- 6-08 7:36 PM
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48

45: Isn't that traditionally transliterated "you-uns" or "you'uns"?


Posted by: Minivet | Link to this comment | 09- 6-08 7:40 PM
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49

"transcribed", not "transliterated".


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 09- 6-08 7:42 PM
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48: Looks like it. I'm not used to seeing it in print, but Google backs you up. But "you'uns" is just the plural; this was a plural possessive, "you'uns's".


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 09- 6-08 7:45 PM
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49: Actually, they have their own alphabet of long provenance. Little-known fact!


Posted by: Minivet | Link to this comment | 09- 6-08 7:45 PM
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It's "youse" where I come from (presumably via Scotland), but it's considered very bad English. It's one of those class marker terms, I guess, and its use will suggest either a). lower class; or b). rural.


Posted by: Mary Catherine | Link to this comment | 09- 6-08 8:12 PM
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53

43: Courtesy of heebie, Jammie, M/tch, lurker ldpdfo, and me.

(The images are a bit big and there are probably a couple of broken links, so have a little patience.)


Posted by: Sir Kraab | Link to this comment | 09- 6-08 8:15 PM
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Woo-hoo PowerPoint! Please somebody give it a front-page post.

(Seriously, archives + running jokes + creative use of photography...who could ask for anything more?)


Posted by: Witt | Link to this comment | 09- 6-08 8:25 PM
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IS NOT POWERPOINT!

BUT THANKS FOR COMPLIMENTS!


Posted by: OPINIONATED ARTISTE | Link to this comment | 09- 6-08 8:32 PM
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53 is very good; the bits from the archives are well chosen.


Posted by: NickS | Link to this comment | 09- 6-08 8:45 PM
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Why the periods after the brackets? I'm intrigued.


Posted by: ari | Link to this comment | 09- 6-08 8:46 PM
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As long as you're sweeping up all the sundry, I would really like to see what the Unfoggetariat would do with this word puzzle I've just invented.


Posted by: wrenae | Link to this comment | 09- 6-08 8:46 PM
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Why the periods after the brackets? I'm intrigued.

Huh? What brackets?


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 09- 6-08 8:53 PM
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58: I don't want to sound metatarsal, but I've transcended defeat.


Posted by: Michael H Schneider | Link to this comment | 09- 6-08 8:57 PM
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Yeah, what brackets? We're intrigued by your intrigue, Ari.

53 is great. Emerson! Are you going to take this lying down?


Posted by: Mary Catherine | Link to this comment | 09- 6-08 8:58 PM
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58: I don't mean to sound armed, but I have a gun.


Posted by: Mary Catherine | Link to this comment | 09- 6-08 8:59 PM
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I don't mean to sound humerus, but I do sometimes provoke laughter.


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 09- 6-08 9:00 PM
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I have backup plans. Also, the Heebie-Jammie family shouldn't count their chickens yet.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 09- 6-08 9:00 PM
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We probably should have worked in a Canuck joke somewhere for comity purposes.


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 09- 6-08 9:00 PM
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Unfortunately "radicle" fails the "human" requirement....


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 09- 6-08 9:04 PM
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I don't mean to sound foot-loose, but I'm fancy-free.


Posted by: Mary Catherine | Link to this comment | 09- 6-08 9:04 PM
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I don't mean to sound vagus, but I just can't be specific.


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 09- 6-08 9:05 PM
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I don't mean to sound nosy, but I think you smell funny.


Posted by: Mary Catherine | Link to this comment | 09- 6-08 9:06 PM
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I don't mean to sound anal, but I'm actually quite retentive.


Posted by: Spike | Link to this comment | 09- 6-08 9:09 PM
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I think we can forgo the "human" requirement, essear, since you're bringing the funny. I don't mean to sound visceral, but you boweled me over.

Michael gets the bonus "false humility" points.


Posted by: wrenae | Link to this comment | 09- 6-08 9:13 PM
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I invited her to go to vegus with me, but she said I had a lot of nerve.

(okay, a violation of form, but I like it)


Posted by: Michael H Schneider | Link to this comment | 09- 6-08 9:14 PM
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72: Well, you know what they say: what happens in vagus, innervates the guts.

(I'm still amused by 60.)


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 09- 6-08 9:17 PM
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I don't mean to sound metacarpal, but I do talk about carp a lot.


Posted by: peter | Link to this comment | 09- 6-08 9:18 PM
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I don't mean to sound eary, but I do have scary-looking ears.


Posted by: peter | Link to this comment | 09- 6-08 9:22 PM
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I don't mean to sound rectum, but I have been in a lot of car accidents.


Posted by: peter | Link to this comment | 09- 6-08 9:23 PM
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I don't mean to sound Broca, and don't let this aphasia, but could you pay for dinner?


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 09- 6-08 9:24 PM
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I don't mean to sound dreamy, but you put me to sleep.


Posted by: Mary Catherine | Link to this comment | 09- 6-08 9:25 PM
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I don't mean to sulcus, I'm just feeling some depression.


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 09- 6-08 9:29 PM
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80

As a genuayne Texan, I'm going to pass ttaM's use of "y'all".


Posted by: pdf23ds | Link to this comment | 09- 6-08 9:31 PM
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81

I don't mean to sound Broca

I know a great joke about Broca's Area.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 09- 6-08 9:33 PM
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I can't read Emerson's plan :(


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 09- 6-08 9:38 PM
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53: Oh, so now I'm a lurker? Great. Where are the rules on this stuff?


Posted by: | Link to this comment | 09- 6-08 9:38 PM
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83 was me.


Posted by: pdf23ds | Link to this comment | 09- 6-08 9:38 PM
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82: Should be fixed now.


Posted by: Sir Kraab | Link to this comment | 09- 6-08 9:39 PM
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ben, did you click on the "Larger version . . ." link?


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 09- 6-08 9:42 PM
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I know a great joke about Broca's Area.

Cool. Please link to it.


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 09- 6-08 9:43 PM
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Oh, so now I'm a lurker? Great. Where are the rules on this stuff?

RTFA!

But for starters, put something in the "Name:" field.


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 09- 6-08 9:46 PM
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Ah, thanks.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 09- 6-08 9:47 PM
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90

That is one nefarious plan.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 09- 6-08 9:47 PM
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Don't mention it. Squinty.


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 09- 6-08 9:48 PM
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I mean the plan. It's all hush hush and on the QT/DL.


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 09- 6-08 9:48 PM
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Quartertackle and Designated Lineman aren't even positions.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 09- 6-08 9:50 PM
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93: Maybe not in your repertoire, prude.


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 09- 6-08 9:52 PM
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53 really deserves a post. That's so outrageously awesome. I especially love "is aware of all wedding traditions".


Posted by: Becks | Link to this comment | 09- 6-08 9:53 PM
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95: I agree. Now, I wonder who would have the power to make it a post . . . .


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 09- 6-08 9:55 PM
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96 - Was already working on it!


Posted by: Becks | Link to this comment | 09- 6-08 9:56 PM
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Thanks, Becks! I always did like you better than ogged!


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 09- 6-08 9:57 PM
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I like Becks first!


Posted by: pdf23ds | Link to this comment | 09- 6-08 10:01 PM
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53 was so fabulously awesome. What a fantastic present. I especially loved Emerson's diagram of the church.


Posted by: md 20/400 | Link to this comment | 09- 6-08 10:01 PM
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Umm... liked.


Posted by: pdf23ds | Link to this comment | 09- 6-08 10:01 PM
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102

This is probably as good a place as any to solicit advice on a technical point. I've found a number of files from www.archive.org that are an entire concert. I'd like to be able to break them into 10 or 12 or whatever individual song files.

What's the best way to do this? Using a PC.


Posted by: Nápi | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 12:13 AM
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103

(This includes a great little set with Doc Watson and Bill Monroe.)


Posted by: Nápi | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 12:28 AM
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It's pretty easy to do on iTunes, if you use that.
0. Import the album into iTunes as a single track.
1. Go to "Info" for the track, and under "options", select the song that you want by using start time and end time.
2. Import that track to MP3. Even if it's already an Mp3. You'll have a new track with the same name as the whole album, but it will only be as long as the song you isolated.
4. Repeat as necessary.

There are plenty of programs you can use to break up the file, but that's a convenient way in something you probably already have.


Posted by: Wrongshore | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 12:31 AM
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mp3splt is a handy-dandy utility for just this task!


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 12:34 AM
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Thanks WS. I'd thought of that, but I think it creates (exacerbates) my space problem. BeWo, I'm going to try it.


Posted by: Nápi | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 10:38 AM
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re: 44

I know the second person plural, ffs. It's universally used where I'm from. It's the possessive form analogous to "y'all's" that I can't think of. Anyway, the main Scots language sites all seem to suggest there isn't one. Standard second person possessive is just the same as English.

re: 105

I use MP3Splitter. I record a fair number of radio shows from digital radio to chuck on my MP3 player for walks, etc. However, it looks like mp3splt might be better, thanks.


Posted by: nattarGcM ttaM | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 2:32 PM
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It's the possessive form analogous to "y'all's" that I can't think of.

Hmm. Hiberno-English has a few competing versions of second person plural, "youse" being one of them. But the other forms have a possessive and "youse" doesn't that I can think of. (The others are "ye" which gives "yeer", common in Ulster, and "yiz" which gives "yizzer", common elsewhere.)


Posted by: emir | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 4:22 PM
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re: 108

Yeah. All the sources I can find say that "yours" is the possessive form.

The situation with Scots, for me, is complicated. I'm from an area where people use a lot of Scots dialect. I grew up using lots of dialect although neither of my parents are really dialect speakers. But everyone, except for a few old men in Fife and the north east of the country speaks a mixture of Scots and English and just slides back and forth with the percentages of each depending on the context. Almost no Scots at all in formal contexts, but quite a bit when in the pub if you are from a working class background.

So the suspicion is always there for some word where you're not aware of a dialect form that the dialect form does exist somewhere, in some 'purer' dialect. In this case, though, it seems not.


Posted by: nattarGcM ttaM | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 4:44 PM
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Hi, anybody here?

OT bleg regarding cooking: I've just made a pot of something like lentil soup. It's too sweet: I put 5 carrots in it (big pot). Carrot sweetness is distinctive.

I can't figure out how to counter this particular sweetness. How do you render carrots savory?


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 4:54 PM
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111

Add beer. That's what I did to my borscht yesterday, because it cuts the sweetness a bit.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 4:55 PM
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112

She made beersht.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 4:55 PM
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113

Balsamic vinegar is also good in lentil soup.


Posted by: oudemia | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 4:56 PM
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114

Does a beersht in the woods?


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 4:56 PM
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re: 110

Celery salt is nice in lentil soup. My standard lentil soup is red lentils, onions and carrots cooked in chicken stock [just made with a stock cube] and then with celery salt and black pepper added nearer the end of cooking.

I probably use about as many carrots as you did.


Posted by: nattarGcM ttaM | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 4:56 PM
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109: You've rejected "youse's"? My grandfather spoke an NY dialect that would have used "youse", but I don't, and I can't decide whether or not "youse's" sounds plausible to me in that dialect. Probably not.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 4:57 PM
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re: 111

I add lemon juice to borscht. Quite a bit of it. Maybe the juice of a whole lemon in a big pot.


Posted by: nattarGcM ttaM | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 4:57 PM
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118

109: Perhaps it's Y'everyone? or y'allofyou? Either of those sound familiar?


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 4:59 PM
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116: Probably it would be "youse" with a slightly longer z sound.

"Hey, how youz doing?"
"I got youzzz letter."


Posted by: Ardent reader | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 5:01 PM
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110: I would add a potato or two, or some other starch (rice?), to soak up some of the sweetness, but then also add some suitable spice(s) so that it's not too bland.


Posted by: Mary Catherine | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 5:01 PM
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re: 116

Nah, youse's just sounds odd.


Posted by: nattarGcM ttaM | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 5:01 PM
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I just accidentally learned something about beets. Uncooked, they last forever, but once you cook them, they mold astonishingly quickly.

Carrots really can ruin things. Someone should develop a bitter carrot.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 5:01 PM
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"y'olegroup"? " "Roundup"?


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 5:02 PM
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Fuck y'everyone.


Posted by: bitter carrot | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 5:03 PM
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re: 118

Possessive! Possessive!


Posted by: nattarGcM ttaM | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 5:06 PM
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when is was a kid i couldn't stand to eat cooked carrot b/c of its sweetness and always separated it from all dishes, soups, pirojki, even plovs
so i'm an expert
soy sauce, garlic can be used with carrots to not know its sweetness imo, don't know how you add it into lentil soups though


Posted by: read | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 5:06 PM
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Beer?? There's some month-old can of Heineken in the fridge. This doesn't strike me as a good idea.

I thought of balsamic vinegar! Then paused, for it's actually pretty sugary, no? The lentil soup is actually calming down a bit now on a very low simmer and a desperate (read: disgusted) addition of a bit of cumin. And more salt and ground black pepper.

I probably use about as many carrots as you did.

Yeah, pretty standard. I don't think I have any celery salt though.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 5:07 PM
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Ohhhh. "Yours"?


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 5:07 PM
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125: I thought she was just trying to be helpful. But even if you think she was being possessive, there's no need to get all excited about it.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 5:07 PM
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127: What would tomato paste do? I think that's what I'd try, although I'm not confident.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 5:08 PM
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What would tomato paste do?

Before you act, think WWTPD?


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 5:09 PM
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I also hated the cooked carrot itself, after the flavor had all been boiled out.

The carrot is a native of Afghanistan and was originally purple. The orange carrot was developed by the Dutch for patriotic reasons.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 5:11 PM
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read, there are 5 cloves of garlic in this lentil soup which also has 5 carrots in it. There's no reason at all that garlic, lentils and carrots don't go together. Along with onions, green peppers, and tomatoes.

I have spoken. No soy sauce.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 5:11 PM
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Note that the orange, Dutch carrot was bred to be less bitter. Thus, ancient purple carrots might be our solution.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 5:12 PM
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re: 129

It's a tragic affliction when you are big fine figure of a man like myself. People always want to possess you.


Posted by: nattarGcM ttaM | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 5:14 PM
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Beta sweet carrot prevents cancer.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 5:16 PM
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ttaM is possessed, all right.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 5:16 PM
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I believe I'd enjoy a purple carrot in my stew.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 5:20 PM
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131: Before you act, think WWTPD?

heebie, dammit, stop making me laugh.

LB, tomato paste is kinda sorta like the tomatoes I added: 'saucing tomatoes' I was told. Really dense, gorgeous things with very few seeds or icky stuff inside; shaped like large plum tomatoes. I don't remember their name, but I'd certainly grow them.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 5:20 PM
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Hrm. Sounds as if the tomatoes haven't solved the problem, in which case I'm out of ideas. Some white wine, maybe, if you don't have beer?

137: Someone around here must be qualified for a long-distance exorcism, right?


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 5:24 PM
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Arrrgh.... arrrgghh .... your mother reads Rand in hell ...


Posted by: nattarGcM ttaM | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 5:28 PM
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icky stuff insid

Since when do tomatoes contain icky stuff? SINCE NEVER.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 5:30 PM
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138 is gross. who are you, Lucille Bogan?


Posted by: peter | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 5:34 PM
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i meant how do you add garlic after the soup is ready, b/c it should be roasted before adding meat in my understanding or other vegetables if it's a vegetarian soup
my sister for example typically uses 2-3 cloves of garlic, 2 carrots, 4-5 potatoes, 1 onion, 1/4 of the cabbage 500g meat for a vegetable soup for five, that ratio
sometimes adds sweet pepper
5 carrots soup i wouldn't have eaten in my childhood for any reward i'm afraid, sorry
may be you can add some yogurt
beer and vinegar would turn it sour, no? i have this trouble to eat salads from the cafeteria salad bar and the dressings are all pretty sour, then i do that, add yogurt


Posted by: read | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 5:36 PM
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Scotland is thick with possessed, and it's hard to direct and exorcism to any specific individual there.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 5:38 PM
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140: Sounds as if the tomatoes haven't solved the problem

No, I just added another. We're getting 8 lbs. of tomatoes a week from the farm and need to use them anyway. It's not hurting the soup. And white wine? If anything, red. Or red wine vinegar just in the individual bowl. All's fine.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 5:43 PM
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144: i meant how do you add garlic after the soup is ready

We're just misunderstanding each other. The garlic is added early.

The ratios you describe for your sister's soup are for 5 servings; I've made a big pot of soup that probably contains 10 servings. It depends on how robustly people eat, of course. Yogurt is a good addition to lentil soup, in the individual bowl.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 5:49 PM
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Whew. Parsi's OK! Now, what about ttaM?


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 5:50 PM
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who are you, Lucille Bogan?

I'd like to be Lucille Bogan for a day. Why was she gross?


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 5:55 PM
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I believe I'd enjoy
a purple carrot in my stew,
I said I believe I'd enjoy
a purple carrot in my stew
You better have a purple carrot
cause a parsnip just won't do


Posted by: Luc/lle Bogan | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 6:05 PM
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I'm pretty sure I missed my calling in life.


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 6:05 PM
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Although the penultimate line would probably be better as "I got to find a purple carrot".


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 6:06 PM
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What's wrong with ttaM?

I would, however, argue with B. over this:

142: Since when do tomatoes contain icky stuff? SINCE NEVER.

After I put together a bowl of soup with some bread to go with. Obviously. Probably she's already gone, and everybody else knows she's full of shit.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 6:06 PM
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153: Seems to have been demonically possessed by Heebie, if I've got the chain of events straight.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 6:08 PM
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and everybody else knows she's full of shit.

Nope, B gets it exactly right (in this one specific instance).


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 6:10 PM
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Those possessed by heebie become righter, not wronger, LB.


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 6:11 PM
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Tomatoes are also sweet, as veggies* go; I don't see why anyone would expect them to reduce sweetness in a stew.


*Yeah yeah yeah.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 6:12 PM
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tomatoes do contain some MSG.


Posted by: peter | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 6:13 PM
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I am the Spectre of Righteousness.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 6:13 PM
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157: But if it's specifically carrot-sweetness that p. is finding objectionable, more tomatoes could mask that with their awesome tomato-sweetness powers.


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 6:14 PM
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Arrrghh... [green spew] ... This is John Galt speaking ...


Posted by: nattarGcM ttaM | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 6:14 PM
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Sweet but acid -- they don't cloy like carrots. I was thinking the acid would help (and was really thinking of paste, rather than actual tomatoes).


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 6:14 PM
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I also don't get why a stew with a lot of sweet carrots is a bad thing. I think Parsimon is weird about food.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 6:15 PM
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Heebie's the Phil Spectre of Righteousness. She's famous for being able to produce a Wall of Righteousness.


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 6:15 PM
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I think Parsimon is weird about food.

Yeah, it's like she has her own individual tastes and preferences! That IS weird, B.


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 6:16 PM
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Does Parsimon cook with persimmons? Or is it just a clever name? (Like the Shitty Beatles.)


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 6:17 PM
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Do the Shitty Beatles cook with Shitty Beatles?


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 6:18 PM
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I think that it's been established that carrots can be too sweet in stews and soups.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 6:19 PM
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165: Very clever, M/tch! However, there are individual tastes and preferences (e.g., finding tomatoes icky) that are objectively bad. And it's not as if "weird" is a horribly pejorative term. I think you, M/tch, are weird about food too--not in terms of your tastes and preferences, but in terms of being touchy and strangely defensive on the subject of what is and is not okay, food-wise. So there.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 6:21 PM
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160 gets it right.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 6:22 PM
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(e.g., finding tomatoes icky)

Dood, I said that some tomatoes have some icky stuff inside. Reading comprehension, please.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 6:26 PM
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I AM NOT DEFENSIVE ABOUT FOOD!!!!!11!

But seriously, I do have some strong opinions on the subject (although much of that is also just schtick), but defensive? How so? (honest question) (no really!)


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 6:29 PM
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I would also like to note for the record that BitchPhD's weirdometer has a history of being seriously out of whack.


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 6:30 PM
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Stop Russia using cluster munitions

First step would be to prove that Russia used cluster munitions.

And while you're at it, include Georgia in your no-cluster-munitions efforts (see linked post). Not to mention, as already noted, that we're not exactly in a position to lecture.


Posted by: Nell | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 6:36 PM
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M/tch once tactfully opted not to bring beer down to Jammies and my place, assuming I was teasing him when I said, "Nah, we're well stocked with a bunch of Coors Light and even some Flattire." I was not kidding, which made M/tch's discomfort doubly awesome.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 6:38 PM
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Heebie I meant to comment on your blog because I have a poem to share with you. Related to Toad Suck Bog. Ready?


Posted by: Cecily | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 6:40 PM
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173: We know that, though it might be unfair to say.

She's full of shit in any case about the differences between the sweetness of tomatoes (say) and that of carrots (say). I dread to hear what she has to say about corn.

Private to B: They really have different effects, hon. I mean that in all affection.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 6:40 PM
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Them Toad Suckers
(Mason Williams)

How about Them Toad Suckers,
Ain't they clods?
Sittin' there suckin'
Them green toady-frogs.

Suckin' them hop-toads,
Suckin' them chunkers,
Suckin' them leapy types,
Suckin' them plunkers.

Look at Them Toad Suckers,
Ain't they snappy?
Suckin' them bog-frogs
Sure makes'em happy.

Them huggermugger Toad Suckers,
Way down south,
Stickin' them sucky-toads
In they mouth.

How to be a Toad Sucker?
No way to duck it.
Gittchyself a toad,
Rare back and suck it!


Posted by: Cecily | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 6:41 PM
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Holy crap, that's some poem, C! What exactly are the Toad Suckers accomplishing?


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 6:48 PM
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177: Did I say that they were not, in fact, different? No. No I did not. Reading comprehension. Hon.

172: I feel like there have been a couple/few instances where someone's said something kinda jokey about food one way or the other and you've been surprisingly (and uncharacteristically) humorless in your reply. By "defensive" I meant, not nec. about yourself, but, like, needing to "defend" Parsimon against the charge of "weirdness."


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 6:48 PM
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I think they're just sucking on toads. I don't really know why. I guess it just makes them happy.


Posted by: Cecily | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 6:56 PM
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180.1:

See 157: Tomatoes are also sweet, as veggies* go; I don't see why anyone would expect them to reduce sweetness in a stew.

Comity. Not reduce sweetness, exactly, just to counter the carrots. Note LB's observation that tomatoes are, however, acidic.

For what it's worth, I seem to have absorbed, without my realizing it, the Baltimore use of "Hon" as a straightforwardly affectionate term. I might be shot for that fact, but not for using it here.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 6:58 PM
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I guess it just makes them happy.

It makes me happy that it makes them happy.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 6:58 PM
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I've never seen a purple carrot
I never I hope to see one.
But whether it be flaw or merit
I'd rather see than be one.


Posted by: foolishmortal | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 7:00 PM
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What exactly are the Toad Suckers accomplishing?

There's an explanation of the origins of the name 'Toad Suck Daze' here. I find it unconvincing.


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 7:03 PM
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Two carrots diverged in an evolutionary tree
And sorry the stews were they could not contain both
And be one stew, long they simmered.
And looked to the Dutch as hard as they could
To where the gerrymandering had oranged out the purple option.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 7:04 PM
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also good: all the other ones, especially Hors D'oeuvres


Posted by: Cecily | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 7:09 PM
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oh the google preview won't let you see the hors d'oeurves one. That's no good. Luckily I have a paper copy: HOLD YOUR HORSES.


Posted by: Cecily | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 7:16 PM
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Them Moose Goosers sometimes use a thumb to goose the moose in the heiny.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 7:17 PM
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189: but presumably have to pause in their moose-goosin activities in order to run around shouting "It's Tummy Gummin' Time!"


Posted by: Cecily | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 7:20 PM
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As soon as Cecily showed up I went and read The Importance of Being Earnest again. Everyone should read it once a year, at least.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 7:21 PM
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THEM HORS D'OEUVRES

How about Them Hors D'Oeuvres,
Ain't they sweet?
Little piece a cheese,
Little piece a meat.


Posted by: Cecily | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 7:22 PM
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My dad recited all those Them Poems to us when we were kids. Like all the time. I never knew where they came from. Thanks!


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 7:23 PM
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191: that's not even what I was named after though. I was named after a mildly embarrassing Beatrix Potter rhyme


Posted by: Cecily | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 7:23 PM
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In Britain are there slightly different stereotypes to go along with the slightly different (in both spelling and pronunciation) names "Cecily" and "Cicely"?

Why would a parent choose one over the other?


Posted by: Ardent reader | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 7:25 PM
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Emerson is a very fast reader.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 7:26 PM
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195: the spelling was variable until the late 1800s. Richard the Third's mother C/c/ly Neville, shows up as Cicely and Cecily in various documents.

I don't know anything about British stereotypes nowadays though. I mainly get people thinking my name is Cecilia or Sicily. Dumb Americans.


Posted by: Cecily | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 7:27 PM
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Per TIOBE, little Cecily, you can certainly change the source of your name, or even the name itself.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 7:30 PM
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yeah but only if I change it to Earnest, right? That's the moral of that story, right? That and the apparent deliciousness of cucumber sandwiches.


Posted by: Cecily | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 7:31 PM
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Me heap big fan Cicely Courtneidge.

Cicely turns out to also be a herb, while cecily is not a herb. This introduces a new avenue of confusion, between cicely and sisal.


Posted by: Ardent reader | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 7:33 PM
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You can change your name to anything, Cecily, and then say that Cecily is your sister, and then say that she died! Wilde has a lot of liberating potential.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 7:34 PM
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Cecilia the cecilian is not the best pet.


Posted by: Ardent reader | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 7:35 PM
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Cecile is a family name for me. If I'd had a daughter it might have been named Cecile, except that my wife of that time didn't like her Aunt Cecilia.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 7:36 PM
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I've met a surprising number of people (well. surprising to me) named Cecily, and some other ones named Cecilia. But none named Cicely. Weird.


Posted by: Cecily | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 7:36 PM
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Per Google, Cicelies are mostly Tyson.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 7:38 PM
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Cecilia

A breaker of hearts.

A shaker of confidence daily.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 7:39 PM
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oh, the original source rhyme is

Cecily Parsley lived in a pen,
And brewed good ale for genlemen;
Gentlemen came every day,
Till Cecily Parsley ran away.

The Ms. Parsely in question is a rabbit of apparently dubious morals, shown making Cowslip Wine in the original illustrations.

(I secretly like that this is the source of my name, regardless of its vaguely misogynistic plot. I also like being a shaker of confidence dailies.)


Posted by: Cecily | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 7:41 PM
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confidences daily?


Posted by: Cecily | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 7:41 PM
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208: The confidence is universal; the hearts, well, they are local and individual, if many.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 7:42 PM
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Parsi, I'm okay with the Bmore hons.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 7:43 PM
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If it's cane toads, toad suckers have a motive. Dave Berry had a little thing about some guy [Sifu, maybe Apo] reaching into the pocket of his dinenr jacket and asking his guests if they like to do some toad.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 7:46 PM
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210: But what about the rest of us, B? Won't you think of the rest of us?


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 7:47 PM
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That poems is a little off color for Beatrix Potter, isn't it?


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 7:49 PM
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Cane toad is not one of the psychoactive toads.


Posted by: Psychoactive toad | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 7:50 PM
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213: Yes. It raises eyebrows.


Posted by: Cecily | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 7:50 PM
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215 to 214


Posted by: Psychoactive toad | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 7:51 PM
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A lot of disappointed hippies must have found that out.

Wiki recommends humane methods of harvesting the psychoactive venom.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 7:53 PM
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Licking toads is not biologically practical.

Thanks, Wikipedia!


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 7:53 PM
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My eyebrows are even raiseder. What ARE those toad-suckers doing?


Posted by: Cecily | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 7:54 PM
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Mark Twain talked about sucking eggs. Euphemism, presumably.

I saw that piece performed on HeeHaw or something on TV. He rattled it off deadpan in a sort of auctioneer voice.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 7:55 PM
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I've always had an active lifestyle, but it's gone from psychoactive to active psycho over the years.


Posted by: Ardent reader | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 7:55 PM
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psychoactive

A mundane two-person sexual relationship could be described as "sigh, co-active", but I wouldn't know anything about that topic.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 8:00 PM
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"stop acting bored during sex! you're gonna make me have a bad trip!" he said psychoactively


Posted by: Cecily | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 8:03 PM
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222: So who else besides eekbeat is involved in your mundane sexual relationship?


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 8:04 PM
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I'm looking forward to Palin reciting the moose-goosing poem on Inauguration Day.

The poet laureate's office should have as its slogan: The United States of America. Simple Poems for Simple People.


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 8:05 PM
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224: We call out ben w-lfs-n's name sometimes when things get too hot. It quiets our passions.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 8:05 PM
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So who else besides eekbeat is involved in your mundane sexual relationship?

So that was what you guys and BR did while I slept?!??!


Posted by: will | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 8:08 PM
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226: Do you also emply the term "little bitch" sometimes?


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 8:09 PM
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227: I'm unable to comment on the events of the evening; but thanks for the pizza!

228: Don't seem overly interested; it's weird for everyone.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 8:12 PM
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Don't seem overly interested; it's weird for everyone.

See Transparent Things, Nabokov and chatting with friends on the phone during intercourse


Posted by: will | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 8:14 PM
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Will just wasn't mundane enough.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 8:14 PM
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Leaving aside M/tch's prurient interests, I should note for the internet record, that will has adorable kids.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 8:15 PM
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229: But I'll never get this slash fiction story finished if I don't have more details, Stanley! I would think that you of all people wouldn't want to stand in the way of Art.


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 8:20 PM
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232: I'll tell you who has adorable kids: KR/Fleur is who. Like a hurricane of cute. I think one of them goosed me.

Oh, and 233 to 232.


Posted by: foolishmortal | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 8:29 PM
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If M/tch puts you into his Mary Sue slash fiction novel, Stan, you should take it very seriously.

"Suddenly Stanislaus realized how important M**ch was to him...."


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 8:36 PM
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If M/tch is writing an eekbeat/w-lfs-n slash story, I demand that he finish it.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 8:39 PM
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Like a hurricane of cute

And, indeed, they follow cyclonic flow patterns.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 8:39 PM
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237: You misspelled "clonic", sicko.


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 8:44 PM
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Chthonic, M/tch. Ask not what evils I have witnessed.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 8:50 PM
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Hey, Sifu, witnessed any evils lately?


Posted by: foolishmortal | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 8:52 PM
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This is pretty funny.


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 8:55 PM
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I would think that you of all people wouldn't want to stand in the way of Art.

Wait, now who is this Art? Was he involved in this mundane sex stuff too? Where were Will's adorable children whilst these shenanigans were going on? I strongly disapprove of exposing children to mundane sex.


Posted by: Di Kotimy | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 8:59 PM
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226: Wow, you too, huh?


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 9:02 PM
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242: Art is a legless, armless friend of mine. I let him hang around my apartment sometimes.


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 9:08 PM
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Like a hurricane of cute
That's so funny--I just wrote to Fleur that she seemed to live in a whirlwind of cute. Independen tverification!


Posted by: mcmc | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 9:09 PM
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Art is a legless, armless friend of mine. I let him hang around my apartment sometimes.

Sometimes M/itch leaves him out in the leaf pile, which is why Art's nickname is Russell.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 9:10 PM
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T-verification is reliable iff T-verification is reliable.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 9:10 PM
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246: Except when he's swimming. Then we call him Bob.


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 9:11 PM
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Oh and I forgot to add, when he's waterskiing, we refer to him as Skip.

It's all very complicated, but it just goes to show how accomodating we are.


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 9:12 PM
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I'm sooo drunk. I've been at a barbecue/wine-tasting. Sicilian red, with overtones of the olives and lavender among which the vines are planted. Sweet wine from Samos with dessert, yum!


Posted by: mcmc | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 9:13 PM
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When he's painted green and yodelling, do you call him Kipper?


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 9:14 PM
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actually, more of a wine driniking than a wine tastin.g.


Posted by: mcmc | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 9:20 PM
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249: too bad about the time you wanted to call him Doug.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 9:21 PM
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252. Not to put too fine a point on it.


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 9:22 PM
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253: That's only if he's in the soil that came out of the hole in the yard. If he's in the hole, he's Phil.


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 9:23 PM
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Sometimes if I don't realize he's there I have to call him Tripp.


Posted by: peter | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 9:24 PM
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251: Jokes about nailing paraplegics to walls aren't funny, w-lfs-n.


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 9:32 PM
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As far as w-lfs-n is concerned, this guy is Fucked.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 9:37 PM
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I think that's not really a name, Stanley.


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 9:38 PM
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257: Lies. You just ran out of jokes and you aren't fooling anyone.


Posted by: foolishmortal | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 9:39 PM
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259: Namist.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 9:39 PM
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Come on, two wordplay subthreads in one thread!

I thought 74 was very good. oh well.


Posted by: peter | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 9:40 PM
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261: I don't mean to sound rectal, but I'm totally full of shit.


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 9:45 PM
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264

When he falls into the vat of onion dip, we tease him by calling him Chip.


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 9:52 PM
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263: When he's full of shit, we call him Colin.


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 9:54 PM
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When he's being a dick, we call him Jimmy.

Or Richard. Or Rod. We're flexible like that.


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 9:54 PM
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Whenever he gets hit by a baseball bat so hard that he flies over a fence, we call him Homer.

You'd be surprised how often that happens.


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 9:56 PM
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Whenever someone uses him to polish a car, we call him Buffy.


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 9:56 PM
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260: Happy now?


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 9:57 PM
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263: I don't mean to sound paraplegic, but I've swum on both coasts.

A stretch, perhaps? No, I don't think that would be an appropriate nickname at all.


Posted by: foolishmortal | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 9:59 PM
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269: I admit defeat, if that's what you mean.


Posted by: foolishmortal | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 10:01 PM
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When he gets really drunk, we call him legless.


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 10:01 PM
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When we're in the mood we call him Neil.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 10:02 PM
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When he consorts with prostitutes, we call him John.


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 10:02 PM
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But most of the time, we don't call him at all. We're pretty much just acquaintances.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 10:03 PM
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273: Or sometimes Roger, don't forget.


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 10:03 PM
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When he's acting all litigious, we call him Sue?


Posted by: Di Kotimy | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 10:04 PM
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275: I try to call him all the time, but for some reason he never picks up.


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 10:04 PM
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When he's dead, we call him Tod. Or Mort.


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 10:04 PM
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279: or Paul


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 10:06 PM
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Before he shaves, we call him Harry.


Posted by: Di Kotimy | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 10:06 PM
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When he's being a kidder, we call him Josh.


Posted by: Di Kotimy | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 10:06 PM
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When he's got that look in his eye, we call him Randy.


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 10:07 PM
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275: I try to call him all the time, but for some reason he never picks up.

That's when we call him Bluetooth, but then he gets all "I'm King of Denmark", which, yeah, lame.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 10:07 PM
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When he makes puns, we call him Tom Swift, I said disarmingly.


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 10:08 PM
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284: When he does horrible standup, we call him Dane.


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 10:08 PM
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When he's playing baseball with us, we call him third base.


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 10:09 PM
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When he's drunk, we call him a cab.


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 10:10 PM
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When he's in the Mideast we call him Stan.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 10:10 PM
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When he's destroying the American financial system, we call him Chet.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 10:11 PM
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When his posterior is warm but not hot, we call him Lucas.


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 10:11 PM
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OK, most of these could just as easily apply to someone with functioning arms and legs. Let's go back tro wrenae's joke paradigm.


Posted by: peter | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 10:12 PM
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When he's in the Mideast we call him Stan.

I will not be fetishized as the new Mexican blogger. I don't even have a nuclear energy program.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 10:12 PM
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291: When his name is M/tch M/lls we call him Stretch.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 10:13 PM
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OK, most of these could just as easily apply to someone with functioning arms and legs.

We're trying to put him at ease by treating him just like anyone else, you tool!


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 10:14 PM
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When his volume is that of 1,300,000 Earths and he burns at a core temperature of 15,000,000 degrees Celsius, providing the energy for all life as we know it, we call him Sol.

Someone stop me please.


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 10:14 PM
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292: I don't want to be a dick, but when he's quibbling about the rules we call him Peter.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 10:14 PM
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So you say, Stan. So you say.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 10:14 PM
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293: I think we're going to have to start calling you Estan from now on.


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 10:16 PM
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When he's just hanging around, we call him Chad.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 10:16 PM
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When we're pissed off we call him Lou.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 10:18 PM
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When he's lazing around in the way, we just shove him over to the wall and call him Murphy.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 10:20 PM
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When he makes a fine point, we call him Dirk.


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 10:20 PM
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When he's facing up to his problems heroically, without any self pity, the way I would do if I were in his situation, we call him Mary Sue.


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 10:21 PM
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When he's acting the know-it-all, we call him Ken.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 10:22 PM
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But when he shares his considerable knowledge, we call him Ed.

It makes him feel special.


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 10:24 PM
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When he's talking trash, we call him Ben.


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 10:25 PM
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307: "trash" s/b "rubbish"


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 10:25 PM
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When he's too loud, we call him Mike.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 10:26 PM
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When he's showing off how incredibly gifted he is, we call him Spencer.


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 10:27 PM
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when he leaves a stain, we call him Mark.


Posted by: Di Kotimy | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 10:28 PM
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When he's acting all resentful, we call him Stu.


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 10:29 PM
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When he sits in front of the door, we call him Matt.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 10:29 PM
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In early spring we call him Buddy.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 10:30 PM
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When he owes us money, we call him Bill.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 10:30 PM
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When he's a piece of work, we call him Job.


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 10:32 PM
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When he gives us a workout, we call him Jim.


Posted by: Di Kotimy | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 10:32 PM
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315: But when he leaves us money we call him Will.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 10:33 PM
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When he is mirthful, we call him Mary.


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 10:33 PM
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318: Then we he takes it back we call him Rob.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 10:34 PM
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Sometimes I use him to hold down my loose papers. Then I call him Rock.


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 10:34 PM
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320: WHEN HE


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 10:34 PM
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Yeah yeah. There's no challenge in coming up with names that aren't funny (When he's getting in shape we call him Jim. When he's proposing legislation we call him Bill. When he's on the wagon we call him Bruno).


Posted by: foolishmortal | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 10:35 PM
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When he needs help while sunbathing, I call him Flip.


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 10:35 PM
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After he's dead, I'll call him Rip.


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 10:35 PM
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when we stop being funny, we call it a night -- night all!


Posted by: Di Kotimy | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 10:36 PM
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When he poops in the punchbowl, I call him foolishmortal.


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 10:36 PM
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As an overly excited trumpet player, he was known, in his youth, as Blair.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 10:36 PM
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When I'm having a bad animal collective day I call him Wolfgang.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 10:36 PM
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The next-to-last person to post a name is a total loser.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 10:38 PM
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When he's the next-to-last person to post a name, we call hiim JP Stormcrow.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 10:40 PM
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When I'm having a bad animal collective day an irrepressible urge to gun him down from a helicopter, I call him Wolfgang.


Posted by: Sarah Palin | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 10:40 PM
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Oh, if we must: when he's storing grain we call him Silas.


Posted by: foolishmortal | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 10:40 PM
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333: You'd use a paraplegic to store grain? Racist.


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 10:42 PM
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I mean, I don't mean to be eyebrow, but that's disgustingly lowclass, fm.


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 10:44 PM
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When he's entrapping other people and then calling them names, we call him M/tch.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 10:44 PM
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336: And he feels HONORED!!!!!1!!!


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 10:45 PM
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When M/tch gets drunk, he calls everybody.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 10:50 PM
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And yet I am silenced by my inability to put my bitching into pun form. And appropriately so; 334 does kind of win the thread, doesn't it?


Posted by: HONORED!!!!!1!!! | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 10:54 PM
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338: I have to tell everybody them that I love them, don't I?


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 10:55 PM
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Which reminds me: what's your phone number, Stan?


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 10:56 PM
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Apparently everyone's busy turning off their cell phones. Ingrates.


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 11:00 PM
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what's your phone number, Stan?

Just go outside to the darkest corner of your yard and yell, "One, Two, Three-and-to-the-Four!"

I will appear, forthwith. (This is true for everyone, by the by.)


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 11:03 PM
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343: Liar.


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 11:12 PM
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343: Demonstrably false. Although I do have a couple of unsavory types at my door, neither is you.


Posted by: foolishmortal | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 11:16 PM
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315: Or Owen.


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 09- 7-08 11:49 PM
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