Re: How The Mighty Have Fallen

1

At least you were sensible enough to decline his request for the scar. That would be weird.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 11-11-08 8:44 PM
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I thought part of the point of reproducing was that the kids were supposed to be shaped by my literary tastes.

Clearly, the only cure is boarding school.

max
['The one for future garbage collectors!']


Posted by: max | Link to this comment | 11-11-08 8:52 PM
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The point of being a parent is the day they read Catcher in the Rye and explain how you're a big phony. (And you better hope that they read Catcher in the Rye, because the alternative is Atlas Shrugged.)


Posted by: Walt Someguy | Link to this comment | 11-11-08 9:02 PM
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['The one for future garbage collectors!']

Do they have nice scarves?


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 11-11-08 9:08 PM
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the alternative is Atlas Shrugged

Crocheting the motor that converts static electricity into mechanical energy is a seriously daunting task.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 11-11-08 9:10 PM
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Google image Searching for "crocheted motor" is pretty weird.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 11-11-08 9:14 PM
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['The one for future garbage collectors!']

Andover?


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 11-11-08 9:17 PM
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8

Say, flying car!


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 11-11-08 9:19 PM
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Somehow the Sahara doesn't seem like the best place to test your flying car.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 11-11-08 9:25 PM
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There's a Jelinek play in which each successive scene has more things on stage covered in crochet. The women in the play are crocheting all the time as they talk, and the crochet just takes over the stage by the end.


Posted by: Blume | Link to this comment | 11-11-08 9:25 PM
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Andover?

Heh.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 11-11-08 9:26 PM
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There's a Jelinek play in which each successive scene has more things on stage covered in crochet. The women in the play are crocheting all the time as they talk, and the crochet just takes over the stage by the end.

This reminds me of an idea a friend of mine once had for a production of Hamlet. We had a list.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 11-11-08 9:26 PM
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I thought part of the point of reproducing was that the kids were supposed to be shaped by my literary tastes.

Probably you should have moderated your crack consumption during the first five or six months.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 11-11-08 9:27 PM
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The one who occasionally comments here as "clockzero", in fact.

20. In the first scene, Hamlet begins building a mahogany table onstage, which he finishes by the end. Other characters hold wood and tools for him as he works.

30. Gertrude is a table lamp which turns on and off in lieu of reciting lines. When she has lines in scenes with Claudius, he holds her menacingly in the face of people to whom she's talking.

I think both of those were his, but that

3. All the actors are trees.

was mine.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 11-11-08 9:28 PM
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In the first scene, Hamlet begins building a mahogany table onstage, which he finishes by the end.

So awesome. Fuck you, 'apparently' natural sign! We built a fucking table!


Posted by: Blume | Link to this comment | 11-11-08 9:32 PM
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... I thought part of the point of reproducing was that the kids were supposed to be shaped by my literary tastes.

And what did you like at his age?


Posted by: James B. Shearer | Link to this comment | 11-11-08 9:38 PM
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This is for Dsquared in his Welsh mode.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 11-11-08 9:38 PM
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18

Taking up knitting or crocheting is one of the Five Danger Signs of Impending Graduate School Disaster. I forget the other four.


Posted by: Gonerill | Link to this comment | 11-11-08 9:41 PM
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If Newt decides he wants to be an orphan, say no. If he insists, suggest sending him to The Hog Farm to live with his Uncle John as a compromise.

That exhausts my child rearing expertise.


Posted by: Michael H Schneider | Link to this comment | 11-11-08 9:47 PM
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If Newt decides he wants to be an orphan, call the cops.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 11-11-08 9:49 PM
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I crocheted a lot the summer I was studying for my general exams.

I only ever crochet at my parents' house now, because I need something to do while watching television.


Posted by: Blume | Link to this comment | 11-11-08 9:49 PM
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I don't even own a crochet.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 11-11-08 9:50 PM
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I have three. Once I get that ebony one I've had my eye on, I'll have one for every room in the house.


Posted by: Blume | Link to this comment | 11-11-08 9:53 PM
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And when I add in all my crochet hooks, that'll be one for every room in your house!


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 11-11-08 9:57 PM
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I only ever crochet at my parents' house now, because I need something to do while watching television.

Soaps, I assume.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 11-11-08 9:59 PM
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Soaps, I assume.

Not in awhile, though I am amazed at how many characters I still recognize on General Hospital.

But Oprah? Yeah, Oprah. My dad hates her, which is a funny show in itself.


Posted by: Blume | Link to this comment | 11-11-08 10:03 PM
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An annoying, macho older guy at my workplace was prescribed crocheting to calm him down, lower his blood pressure, and keep him from harassing women and swearing at the top of his lungs all the time. He crocheted diligently, but he croaked before he retired anyway.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 11-11-08 10:07 PM
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27: Change we can be weavin'.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 11-11-08 10:10 PM
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29

At least he was crotchety!


Posted by: redfoxtailshrub | Link to this comment | 11-11-08 10:11 PM
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Andover?

Nononononononononononono. Sally and Newt are banished to the (very green) Bogfarts School of Sewage Compost Technicians!

Do they have nice scarves?

They have scarves made of hemp!

max
['High concept!']


Posted by: max | Link to this comment | 11-11-08 10:29 PM
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If you didn't put a lion on it you can pretend it's a USC scarf.


Posted by: TJ | Link to this comment | 11-11-08 10:36 PM
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Funny coincidence - I just gathered up the supplies I need to make a Fibonacci stripe dice bag in Gryffindor colors. It's the nerdiest thing that ever nerded, and I hope the recipient appreciates this as much as I do.


Posted by: Magpie | Link to this comment | 11-11-08 10:56 PM
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8: "Flying car!" Oh, wait, crap, you didn't say "Simon says."


Posted by: mrh | Link to this comment | 11-11-08 10:57 PM
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32: but the Gyrffindor colors from what country?


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 11-11-08 11:02 PM
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It's the nerdiest thing that ever nerded,

No, that would be if you were making a Fibonacci-striped Klein bottle bag.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 11-11-08 11:06 PM
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I just gathered up the supplies I need to make a Fibonacci stripe dice bag in Gryffindor colors.

I'm in love.


Posted by: Robust McManlyPants | Link to this comment | 11-11-08 11:56 PM
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What's the House that Cho was in, Ravenclaw? That was supposed to be for clever people. Their colors were pretty nice.


Posted by: Bostoniangirl | Link to this comment | 11-12-08 4:36 AM
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38

I have a Fibonacci-striped scarf made for me by someone who (used to?) frequent this very blog! I love it.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 11-12-08 4:49 AM
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39

16: Proust.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 11-12-08 5:10 AM
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40

39: In French.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 11-12-08 5:15 AM
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French is for wimps. Even at seven, I had the sense to recognize that the Urdu translation had a certain something extra.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 11-12-08 5:27 AM
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42

a certain je ne sais quoi?


Posted by: mike d | Link to this comment | 11-12-08 6:08 AM
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42: Only in Urdu.


Posted by: snarkout | Link to this comment | 11-12-08 6:31 AM
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Crocheting the motor that converts static electricity into mechanical energy is a seriously daunting task.

If LB did that, she would surely leave us for BoingBoing.


Posted by: oudemia | Link to this comment | 11-12-08 6:35 AM
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I've just spent most of the afternoon and evening crocheting a red and gold Gryffindor scarf at Newt's request.

Sweet. Would you make me one?

("My mother made me a homosexual nerd." "How nice. If I bought the yarn would she make me one, too?")


Posted by: Populuxe | Link to this comment | 11-12-08 6:37 AM
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In the first scene, Hamlet begins building a mahogany table onstage, which he finishes by the end. Other characters hold wood and tools for him as he works.

Hamlet only lasts, what, four hours? And the Prince isn't on stage for a lot of that. You'd need some sort of super-fast Iron Carpenter playing Hamlet, or a significant degree of prefabrication.


Posted by: ajay | Link to this comment | 11-12-08 7:59 AM
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I thought part of the point of reproducing was that the kids were supposed to be shaped by my literary tastes.

Ah LizardBreath, your innocence is a joy to be around. But you do speak the truth. One's offspring are indeed shaped by our tastes, just not in the way we might imagine.

Still, a hand-crocheted scarf is a sweet gift, and it is even more so when it reflects someone else's taste and not your own. You are doing good.


Posted by: Tripp | Link to this comment | 11-12-08 9:40 AM
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Nah, I'm just babywhipped.

This is probably overly enmeshed or neurotic or something, somehow, but I find that one of the the things that my kids can do that makes me happiest is asking for something reasonable that I can give them. I'm grousing about the Harry Potter scarf, but really I'm delighted: Newt really wants it, and making a scarf is something I can do.

I think a lot of this is why parents get insane about children who are fussy about food. Making people happy by feeding them is a great pleasure, and it's just depressing putting meals in front of kids who don't enjoy them. You want to twist their arms into admitting that it all really is delicious. And it's very easy for that reaction to slip into concern for the quantity or nutritional value of whatever the kid actually is eating, which is probably fine.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 11-12-08 9:53 AM
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I already told everyone but I'll tell them again -- for the sake of the people who missed it the first time!

My grandnephew had a dollar to buy my sister his grandmother a birthday present. He spent 10-15 minutes looking until he found the perfect gift. He knew immediately. It was a little sandwich box decorated with blonde Cinderella + blonde Sleeping Beauty. My sister is blonde and apparently her grandson thinks that she's the most beautiful woman in the world.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 11-12-08 10:29 AM
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49: Awwwwwwww!


Posted by: peep | Link to this comment | 11-12-08 10:38 AM
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That is pretty adorable.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 11-12-08 10:40 AM
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LizardBreath,

Nah, I'm just babywhipped.

We all are. That is Mother Nature's way of preventing us from eating our children.

I think one of the nicest things I've done for my wife is to make sure my kids know from the start that you do NOT gripe about the food. Ever.

I got so sick of that in the dorms and was so glad to be in a frat where it was no longer cool to do cause we all set the budget for food and we would all have to pay more for better food.

Anyway the rule in our house was that you do NOT have to eat the food, and there is always PB and J for an alternative, but you better never ever complain about the food someone else made for you. I think complaining like that is one of the rudest things ever and I don't put up with it.


Posted by: Tripp | Link to this comment | 11-12-08 10:49 AM
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the other day my sister bought my niece a winter hat, she was wearing the baby's hat which her brother, now 15, wore at her age and she would always say aga's (brother's) hat before wearing it,
so funny that my sister felt guilty about it
i would buy one and send her but hats can't be presents in my culture


Posted by: read | Link to this comment | 11-12-08 10:52 AM
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Yeah, we've got the not complaining bit down -- the problem is just that I'd like their shiny little faces to light up: "Cool, butternut squash au gratin!" We've got a limited class of foods that produce enthusiasm, mostly meat and breat.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 11-12-08 10:53 AM
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My family has a crib which has been used by 3 generations so far, with one generation coming up. I'd think that a hat could be like that. Women occasionally get married in their mothers' wedding dresses.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 11-12-08 10:56 AM
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56

Left to his own devices, Noah would exist solely on macaroni and cheese, cereal bars, and Pez.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 11-12-08 10:56 AM
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hats can't be presents in my culture

Huh. Like the 'don't give knives' thing here. Is there a rationale, or is it just a random prohibition?


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 11-12-08 10:57 AM
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54: Yes, the worse thing is when kids try to say something nice, but it comes out wrong because they have no sense or taste.

Like when you've gone to the trouble of making a nice meal, and they actually like it and compliment you by saying something like, "This is almost as good as McDonalds!"


Posted by: peep | Link to this comment | 11-12-08 10:58 AM
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Kids really seem to love mac and cheese. My son is 35 and he just switched over to gourmet pasta + gourmet cheese.

I had it twice a week for 12 years, once at home and once at school, and lost my taste for it.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 11-12-08 10:58 AM
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I worked with a young black guy many years ago whose new bride warned him he was not ever allowed to give her shoes or clocks as presents. Shoes meant a man was about to walk out on you, and clocks meant the time was running out on the relationship.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 11-12-08 11:00 AM
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we can't give away or throw away baby clothes, coz we are superstitious
what is worn for good is usually burnt
so usually siblings wear what is still in a good condition of their older sibling's clothes, dowry like custom i guess
hats are also something very individual like knives, so people do not wear other's hats or give away or present it
i think it's from olden times something like precaution against lice or it was believed that one's soul can depart with one's hat
it's considered a bad sign if one loses his hat


Posted by: read | Link to this comment | 11-12-08 11:06 AM
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one's


Posted by: read | Link to this comment | 11-12-08 11:06 AM
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LB,

Even I don't like squash. Never have. And I like most everything.

Funny story, my kids when young were staying at my parent's house while we had a little vacation. My Mom said things worked OK except one night my one son sat at the dinner table, not saying anything, looking sad. She asked him what was going on and he said he didn't like the meal and he mentioned my rule.

My Mom, the woman who raised me with a firm and strict hand, turned into Grandma and gave him ice cream for supper!

I'll tell you what. I am the oldest sibling and my Mom absolutely refused to visit when I was living with two women. I told her nothing was going on and she said "You wouldn't tell me if there was!" This same woman year's later encouraged my younger brother to move in with his girlfriend. Yeah, the alcoholic brother who can't pay his bills.

Sometimes it doesn't pay to be responsible.


Posted by: Tripp | Link to this comment | 11-12-08 1:04 PM
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Shoes meant a man was about to walk out on you, and clocks meant the time was running out on the relationship.

Huh. I gave UNG a pocket watch the year we were married.


Posted by: Di Kotimy | Link to this comment | 11-12-08 1:10 PM
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63 - It is the job of the older sibling to break the parents' will so they go easy on the younger ones.


Posted by: togolosh | Link to this comment | 11-12-08 1:12 PM
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it's considered a bad sign if one loses his hat

Ah, like in Miller's Crossing. Great movie.


Posted by: Cryptec Nid | Link to this comment | 11-12-08 1:17 PM
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It is the job of the older sibling to break the parents' will so they go easy on the younger ones.

Heh heh. In my case I think my sister, two of four, fulfilled that role. She was so defiant I, one of four, could get away with nearly anything (anything but living with two women, that is). We perfected 'bad cop good cop' without even knowing anything about it.


Posted by: Tripp | Link to this comment | 11-12-08 1:22 PM
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I once had a friend who would needlepoint Moebius strips. A particular plaid was ideally suited for this design. They offered days hours of fascination when visitors were chemically enhanced.

Completely OT, a kitten has just leapt onto my shoulder and is grooming my hair. Interspecies beautification!


Posted by: DominEditrix | Link to this comment | 11-12-08 1:25 PM
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Needlepoint Moebius strips sound absolutely cool, especially if the scene was continuous.

One of my suppressed desires is to someday get a kiln and make beautiful handmade marbles. I have bought a few but money is tight. I love glass objects like paperweights with scenes inside. The good paperweights are kinda expensive but a good marble may still be had for under a hundred. I'd love to learn how to make them myself but I don't think that is likely to happen.

On a positive note I took ttaM's (I think) advice to heart and Ive toughened up my fingertips and am playing the guitar nearly every day now. It is free and enjoyable, although I'm still pretty darn rusty at it.


Posted by: Tripp | Link to this comment | 11-12-08 1:32 PM
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70

If you give a knife as a present, you give a penny along with it.


Posted by: Wrongshore | Link to this comment | 11-12-08 1:39 PM
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For some reason I can't get the tags to work, but here's a great mathematical knitting page:

www.toroidalsnark.net/mathknit.html


Posted by: Merganser | Link to this comment | 11-12-08 1:56 PM
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70: You give a penny, and then the recipient uses the penny to buy the knife from you, so it's not really a gift.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 11-12-08 2:17 PM
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73

This just isn't John McCain's month:

http://www.nationalenquirer.com/world_exclusive_cindy_mccain_caught_cheating_on_sen_john_mccain_with_other_man/celebrity/65736#


Posted by: lemmy caution | Link to this comment | 11-12-08 2:27 PM
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lemmy,

In Cindy McCain's defense it was a Moody Blues concert, so Cindy was under the spell of a superb crooner from her youth.


Posted by: Tripp | Link to this comment | 11-12-08 3:36 PM
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I used to date the person who does the site mentioned in 71. I am not the man in the picture mentioned in 73.


Posted by: Walt Someguy | Link to this comment | 11-12-08 4:06 PM
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My sister knows the person who does the site mentioned in 71. The man in the picture mentioned in 73 is clearly Al Gore.


Posted by: Merganser | Link to this comment | 11-12-08 4:21 PM
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It could always be John McCain with a toupee, trying to go incognito.


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 11-12-08 4:29 PM
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Maybe I'm your sister, Merganser. Yes, I am a lesbian, and no, I didn't want you to find out this way.


Posted by: Walt Someguy | Link to this comment | 11-12-08 9:38 PM
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Ha! Nice try, Walt, but my sister is bi and out.

Were you in SE Pennsylvania at the time of the dating?


Posted by: Merganser | Link to this comment | 11-13-08 8:58 AM
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