I think we may have seen this before. There's a whole consortium in Salt Lake City. Gswift should knock some sense into them.
Now, if only one of those guys would happen upon and violently confront the grammar vigilantes in the act of vandalizing a sign in a public park, we'd have an unfogged thread for the ages.
in the act of vandalizfixing an officially vandalized sign in a public park
Fixed.
I think we may have seen this before.
What, did this come out right after the gallery of regrettable foods? Is everything new old? It's from the latest issue!
4: It's from the latest issue!
And if a pop-culture phenomenon isn't written up in Rolling Stone does it really exist?
Are you trying to hurt my feelings? Don't you know I'm pregnant, you jerk?
I didn't mean that. Was that mean? I'm being mean again, aren't I.
I really hope that Heebie's baby isn't a devil child. That would be too much.
Don't you know I'm pregnant, you jerk?
Heebie, it's way too early to plead your belly. You really should save that for the third trimester or/and for when you get convicted of a capital crime and you want to escape the hangman's noose.
What if it's a Dirt Devil baby? The house would be so clean.
Perhaps if it's at least an old Testament, Jewish devil your parents will be more accepting.
12: Barring that, you could at least wrap in duct tape, sticky side out, and let it crawl around and pick up furballs.
14: Are you trying to mock heebie? Don't you know she's pregnant, you jerk?
I've heard that if you mock pregnant women their babies are born healthier and they gain less weight during the pregnancy,
If we had another pregnant women we could do a controlled experiment.
Has Heebie always been pregnant? It would explain so much.
Son, I've been pregnant longer than you've been old enough to mock.
Is everything new old? It's from the latest issue!
Unfogged leads the way.
http://www.unfogged.com/archives/comments_8668.html#831220
I'm hoping to run into some of these guys when the weather warms up.
18 s/b "Has Heebie always already been pregnant?"
Next time I'll post what I'm about to post about, and then everyone can tell me who I'm pwned by. Then I can go into the archives and delete those predecessors.
There's quality stuff in the myspace page of Salt Lake's "Insignis".
According to blog entries, designing super hero armor is tough! Don't miss out by skipping the pictures.
http://www.myspace.com/218220441
Unsurprisingly, I am totally in love with the idea of these people.
Some day, heebie, that baby will mock you for being old and out of touch. Might as well get used to it.
When the devil child is born, it'll turn out to be a four year old that everybody has known about but heebie because it wasn't written up in Rolling Stone.
How big is that baby, Heebie? Where are the pictures?
So, anyone want to be in the Unfogged SuperVillain Club? It's sort of like the reading group, only with more cock jokes. And crime. Lots of crime.
Today I have already exceeded the speed limit for at least 20 minutes, so I'm off to a promising start.
28: Plus he's apparently commenting while speeding. Nice work, Tog.
We need to agitate for the return of sodomy laws and like so we can commit more crimes without having to put in too much effort.
From the article.
The weapons lab doubles as the practice room for Master Legend's band, which is also called the Justice Force. "The Ace plays the drums," says Master Legend. "I play guitar and sing." The drums are in storage at the moment, but the Ace assures me that the Justice Force has a tight set.
OMG I so want to see these guys play a gig.
You really should save that for the third trimester or/and for when you get convicted of a capital crime and you want to escape the hangman's noose.
"You know, executing me stops two beating hearts."
"You know, executing me stops two beating hearts."
But then you have to keep the baby attached to you, like Judith Jarvis Thompson's violinist.
33: This was a serious legal argument in 18th/19th C England -- if you committed an execution-worthy crime, but were knocked up, you'd get deported rather than hanged. (Which is what Mary Catherine was saying, but I figure there's no joke that can't be improved by making it more explicit. This is why my career in stand-up has stagnated.)
Indeed, pleading pregnancy was how Elizabeth Proctor avoided execution after being convicted of witchcraft. John was not so lucky.
My Aunt Elizabeth didn't play her cards right at all.
Another option was pleading the book. More on Benefit of Clergy at wiki.
It can really be an extremely unfunny topic. The Catholic torturers in Chile and Argentina waited for pregnant leftists to give birth, chained the mothers and threw them from airplanes into the sea, and adopted the babies. Some of the adopted babies are adults now and have been confronted with the story of their adoption. These stories are so intense that it would be hard to put them into a novel.
39 is just sick-making. Wow. I can't imagine how those adopted children (now adults) could ever find peace or "closure" or whatever.
Re 35: Yeah, it really was a defense. Lots of examples at the Old Bailey online (which is a great site for those who like snooping into criminal files about dead people). If a woman attempted to plead her belly, the authorities would impanel a Jury of Matrons to determine whether or not she really was pregnant. Eg:
And a Woman who formerly had been (an old offender in such cases) with another her Companion were convicted also of a Burglary, but only the former condemned to Dye , the last pleading her belly, and by a Jury of Matrons was returned to be with child.
The Old Bailey database is so awesome. When I saw the link on the Head Heeb blog (RIP) several years ago, I sent it to a professor I'd had for a Dickens seminar, and she was almost overcome with dork joy.