Re: The three little Neo-nazis cried, "Not by the 'staches under our nosi-nose-noses!"

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No reason was given for why the children were removed, however, and Holland Township police chief David Van Gilson told the site they had not received any reports of abuse or negligence.

I'd say, on the Unfit Scale of 1 to 10, these naming shenanigans make the parents a 7, and it takes a 9 to remove the kids from a home. So something more was probably going on. But this is a great way to get CPS to come idly knocking at your door, at least.

Right. But if it was basically just the names, that's pretty crazy. And I'm not sure the names plus something-less-than-perceived-full-cooperation-with-CPS wouldn't be enough to justify removal in the eyes of some social workers.


Posted by: Brock Landers | Link to this comment | 01-14-09 7:11 PM
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Take our Poll
Boy named Sue
Should there be limitations on what a parent can name their child?

Yes, some words, names are off limits.

No, it's their kid, their choice.

VOTE


Posted by: Brock Landers | Link to this comment | 01-14-09 7:14 PM
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Just the one kid?


Posted by: paranoid android | Link to this comment | 01-14-09 7:20 PM
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Every one of the visible comments on that article has got to be a spoof.


Posted by: Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 01-14-09 7:23 PM
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If you don't want your kid to move far from home, you can call him "Ihave abomb". He'll never fly.


Posted by: MH | Link to this comment | 01-14-09 7:25 PM
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Every one of the visible comments on that article has got to be a spoof.

I don't see why. Isn't the Daily News the official newspaper of stupid people?


Posted by: mcmc | Link to this comment | 01-14-09 7:26 PM
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Great. Now I owe Ari an apology. Thanks a lot, neo-Nazi parents.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 01-14-09 7:29 PM
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5: but that would be a great name for someone whose family name was "Basticass".


Posted by: Brock Landers | Link to this comment | 01-14-09 7:38 PM
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BLK@PROUD4LIFE Jan 14, 2009 7:56:52 PM Report Offensive Post I GUESS NAMING MY SON NAT TURNER IS NOT SUCH A GOOD IDEA.
Posted by: OPIONATED AFRO-AMERICAN
Posted by: Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 01-14-09 7:39 PM
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Opinionated, that is. There's something about all-caps that disables my internal spell-checker.


Posted by: Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 01-14-09 7:41 PM
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Probably better than Ike Turner.


Posted by: MH | Link to this comment | 01-14-09 7:42 PM
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And no matter how much you admire Scandinavian UN diplomats, avoid U Turner.


Posted by: MH | Link to this comment | 01-14-09 7:49 PM
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SCANDINAVIAN, BURMESE, SAME THING. SLOVENIANS ARE SUPERIOR TO ALL


Posted by: OPIATED SLOVENIAN | Link to this comment | 01-14-09 7:53 PM
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Don't a lot of European countries have rules that say you can't call your child `Idiot' or `Shouldhaveusedacondom'?


Posted by: Keir | Link to this comment | 01-14-09 7:59 PM
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Sorry. Got him confused with Dag H.


Posted by: MH | Link to this comment | 01-14-09 8:02 PM
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And, it is just me or are Slovenians really touchy ever since the split from the Czechs.


Posted by: MH | Link to this comment | 01-14-09 8:05 PM
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And then there's Odd Bull, who was an important UN diplomat during the Six Day War.


Posted by: Otto von Bisquick | Link to this comment | 01-14-09 8:07 PM
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And, it is just me or are Slovenians really touchy ever since the split from the Czechs.

Just when people confuse them with Slovakians.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 01-14-09 8:09 PM
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Is she an opiated slovenian, or an opiated slovakian?

max
['Those slo people get confused under the influence.']


Posted by: max | Link to this comment | 01-14-09 8:10 PM
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Crap. Crap crap crap. I just discovered, via that ridiculous google-earth map of Prop 8 donors, that my grandma gave the Prop 8 a whole buncha money, as did a bunch of really nice LDS people I grew up with. But grandma! Jesus.
|>


Posted by: Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 01-14-09 8:13 PM
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The Slovenians split from the Croatians, the Serbs, the Montenegrins, the Macedonians, the Kosavars, the Vojvodinans, the Bosnians, and the all but forgotten Herzogovinans.

BUT NOT THE FUCKING CZECHS.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 01-14-09 8:15 PM
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I know about half of the people in the East Bay who donated, and over the hills in Lamorinda I recognize a bunch of names. The church must have been organizing like crazy. Obviously, I didn't really want to know about the extent of this before, or this wouldn't have come as such a shock.
|>


Posted by: Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 01-14-09 8:16 PM
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19. I forget. Whichever one does the yodeling.


Posted by: MH | Link to this comment | 01-14-09 8:16 PM
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it's just a bunch of syllables strung together, and they stumbled upon the fanciful combinations of Adolph Hitler

That one is straightforward.

JoyceLynn Aryan Nation

That one is fucking funny. She totally went down to the meeting to listen to the speaker explain the superiority of the white race and maybe meet some guys, but OMG, there were totally a bunch of dorks there. They totally weren't superior AT ALL. How is she supposed to help create the master race without some masterful guy [*]????

, and Honszlynn Hinler Jeannie?

That's the weirdy. Tried to name the kid for a Nazi, but just couldn't find a book with a list of names in it, and so they just guessed.

max
['And the next one can be Guerre de Richlanzer von Wolfen-Goldstein.']

[*] Like that guy, at Mars Hill, but more, like, superior


Posted by: max | Link to this comment | 01-14-09 8:17 PM
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22: Sorry to hear that, Jack. I don't suppose you're in a position to do any useful prosletyzing?


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 01-14-09 8:19 PM
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How sorry are you, LB?


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 01-14-09 8:20 PM
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Damn!


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 01-14-09 8:21 PM
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Not unusually so -- why do you ask? (God,I love being able to edit comments.)


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 01-14-09 8:21 PM
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28: Don't tempt a fool.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 01-14-09 8:22 PM
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29:I once fooled a temp -- she had no idea where we kept the office supplies.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 01-14-09 8:23 PM
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Stanley can edit comments too, you know.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 01-14-09 8:24 PM
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Oh, he thinks he can, but when it comes down to it, he just doesn't have the guts.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 01-14-09 8:26 PM
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I refer all further taunts to comment 29.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 01-14-09 8:28 PM
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I don't suppose you're in a position to do any useful prosletyzing?

I don't think so. My grandmother had a ringside seat to her gay brother-in-law's long-term, committed relationship; compared with that example, there's nothing I could say. I'm just really bummed about her donation. Another family in the neighborhood gave the campaign money I seriously doubt they could afford; they were always cash-strapped. And the wife of my former bishop! And the really cool lady my mom worked with in the stake! I just kinda hope that this whole campaign has left a sour taste in the donors' mouths.


Posted by: Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 01-14-09 8:31 PM
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I just kinda hope that this whole campaign has left a sour taste in the donors' mouths.

Why do you think they would regret it now?


Posted by: Cryptic ned | Link to this comment | 01-14-09 8:33 PM
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I just kinda hope that this whole campaign has left a sour taste in the donors' mouths.

Much less the catchers' mouths.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 01-14-09 8:34 PM
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BUT NOT THE FUCKING CZECHS.

<Bush>You forgot Austro-Hungary!</Bush>

Whichever one does the yodeling.

Please dear God, tell me there's stock footage of an Aryan yodeling contest.

max
['I can this the Himmler Waltz!']


Posted by: max | Link to this comment | 01-14-09 8:35 PM
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Please dear God, tell me there's stock footage of an Aryan yodeling contest.

I suspect most yodeling contests are pretty Aryan.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 01-14-09 8:41 PM
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Why do you think they would regret it now?

I can see them as considering the donations almost as tithing, given privately to the church as moral support for a cause that wasn't really in question. Now it's not so private, it's become very clearly political, and the cause is far, far from over.

I mean, pretty much every donor from Oakland to Richmond is LDS. The ones I don't know personally have last names that match old clans. The aftermath of this proposition has been a massive outing of LDS political influence---and historically the church hasn't come out so well when its hand becomes overt.


Posted by: Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 01-14-09 8:42 PM
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Ugh, Jackmormon, that is depressing and disappointing.


Posted by: redfoxtailshrub | Link to this comment | 01-14-09 8:43 PM
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Not to imply anything about the politics of yodelers, but I suspect 38 is right.


Posted by: MH | Link to this comment | 01-14-09 8:44 PM
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No, it's their kid, their choice.

To counterbalance, should the kid should have the enshrined right to kick the living shit out of them once, when old enough, if the name is bad?


Posted by: soup biscuit | Link to this comment | 01-14-09 8:49 PM
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What sort of covert political influence has the LDS church been exercising in recent years?


Posted by: Cryptic ned | Link to this comment | 01-14-09 8:57 PM
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I suspect most yodeling contests are pretty Aryan.

But... but... I need a reality TV show called Aryan Ydol.

max
['Could it be any worse than kindergarten beauty contests? It would certainly be funnier.']


Posted by: max | Link to this comment | 01-14-09 9:06 PM
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The event: Yodel Idol! The place: The Canary Islands!


Posted by: Cryptic ned | Link to this comment | 01-14-09 9:08 PM
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It seems plans for my California road trip have run into a bit of a barrier: the Sierra Nevada.

|>


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 01-14-09 9:10 PM
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What sort of covert political influence has the LDS church been exercising in recent years?

Other than prop 8, you mean?


Posted by: soup biscuit | Link to this comment | 01-14-09 9:11 PM
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43: remember New Coke?


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 01-14-09 9:11 PM
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44 Yodeling is only funny for about five minutes. After that, it gets old quickly. I'd rather go to Austria and ask them about their kangaroos.


Posted by: MH | Link to this comment | 01-14-09 9:12 PM
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47: I meant in contrast to the overt political influence, which Jackmormon cites Prop 8 as an example of. In by from.


Posted by: Cryptic ned | Link to this comment | 01-14-09 9:13 PM
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43.---The church owns a lot of the land in Utah. They've been a major political partner in the Republican Revolution. They're massively overrepresented in the CIA and state department (I'd like to give a shout out to the current ambassador to Jordan and his wife---y'all are awesome!). I don't really know why Pres. Hinckley received the medal of freedom, but I suspect it had something to do with political favors.


Posted by: Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 01-14-09 9:14 PM
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Would it be child abuse to make my son go stand in line at the Kennedy Center for those free MLK Aretha Franklin tickets?


Posted by: CharleyCarp | Link to this comment | 01-14-09 9:22 PM
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That depends. What's his name?


Posted by: soup biscuit | Link to this comment | 01-14-09 9:27 PM
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Middle name: Moritz.


Posted by: CharleyCarp | Link to this comment | 01-14-09 9:30 PM
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It seems plans for my California road trip have run into a bit of a barrier: the Sierra Nevada.

Were you planning on going with your gf? Shouldn't be a problem as long as she's got some, uh, meat on her, IYKWIMAITYD.


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 01-14-09 9:48 PM
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Ex-gf now, so no.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 01-14-09 9:51 PM
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Oh, sorry. In that case, a cooler full of extra food should do.


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 01-14-09 9:54 PM
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Thanks. Noted.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 01-14-09 9:55 PM
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GIRLFRIENDS ARE NOT FOR EATING


Posted by: OPINIONATED CHICK | Link to this comment | 01-14-09 10:05 PM
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UNLESS THEY ARE EX-GIRLFRIENDS YUM


Posted by: OPINIONATED CHICK | Link to this comment | 01-14-09 10:05 PM
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59 IS WRONG WRONG WRONG.


Posted by: OPINIONATED OTHER CHICK | Link to this comment | 01-14-09 10:06 PM
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I'd say, on the Unfit Scale of 1 to 10, these naming shenanigans make the parents a 7, and it takes a 9 to remove the kids from a home.

However, Heath reportedly denies the Holocaust and their home is decorated with swastikas.

look, an 11.


Posted by: Michael | Link to this comment | 01-14-09 10:08 PM
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I keep meaning to figure this one mystery involving a famous awful name - remember the Ima Hogg and Ura Hogg, sisters. The thing is, I thought that those sisters would be like, I don't know, 4 years old. But there's also an Ima Hogg who is a very prolific supporter of the arts. Both Ima Hogg's appear to be from Texas. So, either there's a really rich philanthropical 4-year old out there or, there were actually two sets of parents, not in the whole world, just in the state of Texas, brain damged enough to name their daughter Ima Hogg. Even for someone with as dim a view of people as myself, this is saddening.


Posted by: Michael | Link to this comment | 01-14-09 10:14 PM
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63: there's a Wikipedia article on Ima Hogg that may help.


Posted by: Barbar | Link to this comment | 01-14-09 10:22 PM
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63: Ima Hogg existed and is well known. The only Ura Hogg I've heard of was a mythical sister of hers.

Ina (spelling?) and Ura Dick, sisters, swedish iirc. exist.


Posted by: soup biscuit | Link to this comment | 01-14-09 10:35 PM
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Ima Hogg actually sounds like a fine human being:

"In 1929, she founded the Houston Child Guidance Center, which provides counseling for disturbed children and their families. Through her brother's will, she established the Hogg Foundation for Mental Health at the University of Texas at Austin in 1940. Hogg successfully ran for a seat on the Houston School Board in 1943, where she worked to remove gender and race as criteria for determining pay and established art education programs for black students."


Posted by: Spike | Link to this comment | 01-14-09 10:36 PM
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Ima Hogg actually sounds like a fine human being

Everything I've heard about her supports this.


Posted by: soup biscuit | Link to this comment | 01-14-09 10:41 PM
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It seems plans for my California road trip have run into a bit of a barrier: the Sierra Nevada.

Your car doesn't go uphill?


Posted by: Megan | Link to this comment | 01-14-09 11:07 PM
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Most of the roads are closed in winter.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 01-14-09 11:50 PM
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Most of the roads are closed in winter.

Where exactly did you want to go? I assure you that there are ways to get through the Sierra, even in the depth of winter.


Posted by: Josh | Link to this comment | 01-14-09 11:57 PM
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I was originally thinking of crossing at Yosemite, but it looks like the only open roads across are a considerable distance north and south of there.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 01-15-09 12:03 AM
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This is hardly an insuperable problem, of course.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 01-15-09 12:04 AM
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If you crossed over at Tahoe, you would naturally stop at my house, right? You could stay over, if you were tired from driving. You knew that already, of course.


Posted by: Megan | Link to this comment | 01-15-09 12:09 AM
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I was in fact thinking of crossing at Tahoe. If I do I will certainly stop at your house.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 01-15-09 12:11 AM
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YAY!


Posted by: Megan | Link to this comment | 01-15-09 12:36 AM
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Planning on catching teo on the rebound, Megan?


Posted by: Josh | Link to this comment | 01-15-09 12:43 AM
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No more masturbating to Number 6. I am too old.

|>


Posted by: OneFatEnglishman | Link to this comment | 01-15-09 1:18 AM
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74: If you have the time, I would strongly recommend going via Death Valley and then over the Panamints to 395 and up the Owens Valley past Mammoth to Tahoe (where you can cut over on 50 if you don't want to go on up to 80 & do the Donner thing). Brilliant stuff the whole way.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 01-15-09 1:20 AM
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78 -- Just be sure to curse Los Angeles and all its works at five minute intervals as you drive through the Owens Valley. It's traditional.


Posted by: CharleyCarp | Link to this comment | 01-15-09 4:55 AM
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74: If you have the time, I would strongly recommend going via Death Valley and then over the Panamints to 395 and up the Owens Valley past Mammoth to Tahoe (where you can cut over on 50 if you don't want to go on up to 80 & do the Donner thing). Brilliant stuff the whole way.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 01-15-09 4:59 AM
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going via Death Valley and then over the Panamints to 395 and up the Owens Valley past Mammoth to Tahoe

I did this drive last summer on vacation. It is a long drive but I agree with the assessment: Brilliant stuff the whole way. The view of Mt. Whitney from the east is itself almost worth it.


Posted by: Idealist | Link to this comment | 01-15-09 5:00 AM
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81: You can say that again.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 01-15-09 5:01 AM
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I suspect most yodeling contests are pretty Aryan.

See, it's assumptions like this that contribute to the oppression of yodelling Dravidians.


Posted by: Amit | Link to this comment | 01-15-09 5:29 AM
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Speaking of last names involving Butt, I find it amusing that major Texas supermarket chain H-E-B got its name from former owner Howard E. Butt, who realized that calling his store "Butt Grocery" or some such would not be good for business.


Posted by: Neil the Ethical Werewolf | Link to this comment | 01-15-09 5:41 AM
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Just be sure to curse Los Angeles and all its works at five minute intervals as you drive through the Owens Valley. It's traditional.

And it's fun!


Posted by: Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 01-15-09 7:10 AM
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My dad was born while my gramps was at sea working on a tuna boat. Gramma and Grampa had agreed to name him Harold, but when the time came Gramma named him John. She neglected to tell Gramps on his return. Dad was five years old when his father found out his real name.

An Indian friend of mine went to college with a guy whose name, pronounced Ah-Nal Duk-Shut, is spelled Anal Dikshit.


Posted by: togolosh | Link to this comment | 01-15-09 7:55 AM
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I suspect most yodeling contests are pretty Aryan.

Doesn't the azan count as a yodel? Are there azan contests?


Posted by: ajay | Link to this comment | 01-15-09 7:58 AM
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Where exactly did you want to go? I assure you that there are ways to get through the Sierra, even in the depth of winter.

This is true, but it can also be a pain in the ass. It took me 3x normal time once, middle of the night, 10 degrees or so in a vehicle without a heater. No fun.


Posted by: soup biscuit | Link to this comment | 01-15-09 7:59 AM
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It seems plans for my California road trip have run into a bit of a barrier: the Sierra Nevada.

Unfogged Donner party. You could twitter the progress of cannibalism and despair.


Posted by: Alex | Link to this comment | 01-15-09 8:08 AM
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82: You can say that again.

...at widely spaced intervals.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 01-15-09 8:14 AM
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89: January 12. It commenc'd snowing at 8 o Clock this morning and has not stopped all day. The last of the tofu now exhausted. Decided to eat Matthew Yglesias.


Posted by: ajay | Link to this comment | 01-15-09 9:14 AM
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I suspect most yodeling contests are pretty Aryan.

Such as the well known pygmies who yodel up and down the Appenzell.


Posted by: Populuxe | Link to this comment | 01-15-09 9:33 AM
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January 13. Continued snowing. Most of the Yglesias now gone. Why didn't we invite that du Toit guy?


Posted by: Alex | Link to this comment | 01-15-09 9:48 AM
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If you have the time, I would strongly recommend going via Death Valley and then over the Panamints to 395 and up the Owens Valley past Mammoth to Tahoe (where you can cut over on 50 if you don't want to go on up to 80 & do the Donner thing). Brilliant stuff the whole way.

That was in fact the exact itinerary I had in mind. Thanks.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 01-15-09 11:50 AM
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