Re: We Mocked And We Laughed

1

BO-ring


Posted by: Cryptic ned | Link to this comment | 03- 9-09 10:08 PM
horizontal rule
2

I'd like to teach catherine how to swim. She'll come to me, right?


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 03- 9-09 10:09 PM
horizontal rule
3

She'll swim to you, Ben. Or else.

Hey so is that a full triathlon? Because, you know, if you're scared of doing a marathon, maybe doing an event where a marathon is one of the legs is maybe not the way to go.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 03- 9-09 10:11 PM
horizontal rule
4

Don't confuse a "full" triathlon with an Ironman event, tweets.


Posted by: ari | Link to this comment | 03- 9-09 10:14 PM
horizontal rule
5

Okay. What's the difference, that I might avoid confusing them?


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 03- 9-09 10:16 PM
horizontal rule
6

Full doesn't mean anything.

There are sprint, Olympic, and Ironman length triathlons.


Posted by: Willy Voet | Link to this comment | 03- 9-09 10:18 PM
horizontal rule
7

Okay, good.

What's the difference?


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 03- 9-09 10:20 PM
horizontal rule
8

Au contraire: I think "full" is pregnant with meaning. But there are, as you say, triathlons of various distances.


Posted by: ari | Link to this comment | 03- 9-09 10:21 PM
horizontal rule
9

Sprints are shorter. And only crazy people do Ironmans.


Posted by: ari | Link to this comment | 03- 9-09 10:21 PM
horizontal rule
10

But there are, as you say, triathlons of various distances.

I see!

And what might those distances be?


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 03- 9-09 10:22 PM
horizontal rule
11

Okay I'm killing you both. After the swimming leg.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 03- 9-09 10:22 PM
horizontal rule
12

sprint usually has a bike ride of about 5-10km
olympic has 40km
ironman has 180km

wikipedia, im sure, has more detailed info.


Posted by: Willy Voet | Link to this comment | 03- 9-09 10:23 PM
horizontal rule
13

Indeed it does:

Because "Ironman Triathlon" is a registered trademark of the World Triathlon Corporation (WTC), only races licensed by the WTC may be called "Ironman" or "Iron". As a result, other races of the same distances are called "full" or "long" distance.

Fuckers.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 03- 9-09 10:24 PM
horizontal rule
14

Damn I could almost do a Sprint triathlon. In, like, several hours, but still.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 03- 9-09 10:25 PM
horizontal rule
15

Most likely it is an "olympic" at 1.5K swim, 40K bike, 10K run. Key helper for non-swimmer swimmers—a good wetsuit.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 03- 9-09 10:27 PM
horizontal rule
16

They should change the order for a sprint triathlon. You run ahead for 200 meters, jump onto a bike for 1000 meters ending in a pool and then swim for 50 meters. It could all be done in a straight line.


Posted by: eb | Link to this comment | 03- 9-09 10:28 PM
horizontal rule
17

Key helper for non-cyclist cyclists: Buy a Cervelo P4 or a Trek TTX and a Zipp disc.


Posted by: Willy Voet | Link to this comment | 03- 9-09 10:29 PM
horizontal rule
18

Dunno, there are a LOT of sprint-length tris out there.


Posted by: TJ | Link to this comment | 03- 9-09 10:30 PM
horizontal rule
19

Sprint appears to have a longer bike ride than reported by Willy, at least according to wikipedia:

Sprint
Swim: 750 m (0.47 mi)
Bike: 20 km (12.4 mi)
Run: 5 km (3.1  mi)


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 03- 9-09 10:30 PM
horizontal rule
20

Why are you mad at me? I said that "full" was pregnant with meaning. Wait, is it because I called you "tweets"? That was just a bit of bonhomie; I won't do it again.


Posted by: ari | Link to this comment | 03- 9-09 10:32 PM
horizontal rule
21

ps: buy them from me.


Posted by: Willy Voet | Link to this comment | 03- 9-09 10:34 PM
horizontal rule
22

yes, i was just guessing the sprint bike length.


Posted by: Willy Voet | Link to this comment | 03- 9-09 10:34 PM
horizontal rule
23

20: because your slavish adherence to the Ironman™ Triathlon's legalistic distinctions in 4 left me confused and whimpering.

21: you own eight thousand dollars worth of racing bicycles? Why?


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 03- 9-09 10:36 PM
horizontal rule
24

Man I'm kind of tempted to do a Sprint triathlon now. I wonder if I could make up for the fact that I run incredibly slowly?


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 03- 9-09 10:37 PM
horizontal rule
25

No need to capitalize the "s" in "sprint". Unless the event is sponsored by the telecom company. What? I'm just saying.


Posted by: ari | Link to this comment | 03- 9-09 10:38 PM
horizontal rule
26

Sprint triathlon

Sprint is a registered trademark, etc. etc.


Posted by: eb | Link to this comment | 03- 9-09 10:38 PM
horizontal rule
27

Now you're in for it, eb. You don't want to cross tweets.


Posted by: ari | Link to this comment | 03- 9-09 10:39 PM
horizontal rule
28

Unless you need to get to the other side!


Posted by: ari | Link to this comment | 03- 9-09 10:40 PM
horizontal rule
29

Ooh, apparently a Super Sprint triathlon is even wussier!

Super Sprint
Swim: 400 m (0.25  mi)
Bike: 10 km (6.2  mi)
Run: 2.5 km (1.5 mi)

(Super Sprint triathlons are sponsored by the phone... superhero.)


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 03- 9-09 10:40 PM
horizontal rule
30

It's deprecated to be one's own straight man, isn't it? Probably not as deprecated as it is to be so unfunny.


Posted by: ari | Link to this comment | 03- 9-09 10:41 PM
horizontal rule
31

Biking 10 km is the kind of thing that one could easily do by accident.


Posted by: ari | Link to this comment | 03- 9-09 10:43 PM
horizontal rule
32

Yeah I very nearly bike 10km riding to school and back.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 03- 9-09 10:43 PM
horizontal rule
33

Not swimming worth a crap is my problem with triathlons as well. Which I solve by not signing up for triathlons.


Posted by: Not Prince Hamlet | Link to this comment | 03- 9-09 10:45 PM
horizontal rule
34

Saying "Full triathlon" is like saying "Big-boned triathlon".


Posted by: Gonerill | Link to this comment | 03- 9-09 10:51 PM
horizontal rule
35

What are you trying to say, Gonerill?


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 03- 9-09 10:53 PM
horizontal rule
36

Best application of Fermat's Principle I ever saw was at a triathlon at Solano Beach north of San Diego. The first leg of the course took off from the beach at about a 45° angle and you only had to stay "outside" of the buoys marking the triangular course at the waterline and in the water. Some of the group of top athletes who started ahead of everyone else took off running down the beach rather than diving straight in, and only going in the water when they reached what looked to be a pretty good approximation of the appropriate critical angle (velocity ratio ~ 4:1, so a fair distance down the beach towards the first vertex). The announcer was chastising them the whole time (and well after}, explaining that that was *not* the official course.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 03- 9-09 10:53 PM
horizontal rule
37

If you had a race that added canoeing to the traditional events of the triathlon, wouldn't you call it a tetrathlon rather than "the only four-event triathlon in the U.S"?

Incidentally, that's the only triathlon tetrathlon race of its kind I've ever done. Some friends and I did it as a team, and there'd been a hard freeze the night before, so the canoeists had to run their leg carrying the canoe. We were narrowly edged out for third place by Beth Heiden's team. Fucking Olympians.


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 03- 9-09 10:54 PM
horizontal rule
38

36: triathletes may not be reflective sorts, but they are refractive.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 03- 9-09 10:56 PM
horizontal rule
39

It's deprecated to be one's own straight man

Straight Man Triathlon
- Ask Questions During the Monologue.
- Deadpan Conversational Response.
- Falling Out with the Famous One.


Posted by: Gonerill | Link to this comment | 03- 9-09 10:57 PM
horizontal rule
40

39: no "have sex with a woman"?


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 03- 9-09 10:58 PM
horizontal rule
41

35: I like that he had to leave the Big Boy to go to the fast food place next door "for the first time in a very long time". Hey, we understand it was an emergency, your Big Boy foodie credentials are intact with us.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 03- 9-09 11:00 PM
horizontal rule
42

Fucking Olympians.

Apparently so. The one we met said the Olympic villiage was ankle deep in used rubbers.


Posted by: TJ | Link to this comment | 03- 9-09 11:00 PM
horizontal rule
43

Not that I have any cred in the food arena.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 03- 9-09 11:02 PM
horizontal rule
44

Sometimes it's better to live without goals, not just relationships.


Posted by: minneapolitan | Link to this comment | 03- 9-09 11:09 PM
horizontal rule
45

40: It is longstanding Unfogged wisdom that having sex with a woman is the gayest thing a man can do.


Posted by: Walt Someguy | Link to this comment | 03- 9-09 11:39 PM
horizontal rule
46

As noted before, we did this one two or three times in the 80s.

"The traditional Peaks to Prairie route involves an 8.8 mile run leg, a 43 mile bicycle leg, and a 23 mile paddling leg, in that order."

You get to have teams. In fact, now they have a site the collects teams looking for someone with people looking for a team: Looking for that missing link to complete your team?

Simply email me and I'll add your information to this page. Please include your name, age, gender, which leg you're looking for help on, and some contact information. You may also inlcude any other details that might help people evaluate your team as a potential match (i.e. "We're really serious about doing well", "We're just in it for some fun", or "We promise not to bite"... stuff like that.)

Promises not to bite may not be enforceable.


Posted by: CharleyCarp | Link to this comment | 03-10-09 5:06 AM
horizontal rule
47

shit


Posted by: CharleyCarp | Link to this comment | 03-10-09 5:07 AM
horizontal rule
48

46: That one sounds very nice (and also rather early in the season for the location. Is that to assure good water flow?). I had the unlikely privilege of traveling Yellowstone to Billings via the Beartooth Highway in the back of a pickup truck as a 13-year-old. Magnificent and never to be forgotten.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 03-10-09 7:09 AM
horizontal rule
49

Most people doing triathlons cannot swim very well.


Posted by: will | Link to this comment | 03-10-09 7:17 AM
horizontal rule
50

49: Do people set up triathlons with varying proportions -- longer swim, shorter bike, whatever? I could see it being interesting messing with the race to give different specialists the advantage. (That is, I have the impression that standard triathlons are won by fast runners who are pretty sure not to actually drown, and can ride a bike without falling over -- it'd be fun to mix it up so there were triathlons that advantaged swimmers or bikers.)(When I say, 'fun', I mean fun in the sense that I wouldn't be personally involved in any such thing, of course.)


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 03-10-09 7:54 AM
horizontal rule
51

Most people doing triathlons cannot swim very well.

We all know what you're really trying to say, will.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 03-10-09 8:08 AM
horizontal rule
52

The mutton chops slow you down, Stanley.


Posted by: will | Link to this comment | 03-10-09 8:13 AM
horizontal rule
53

9: hey! i'm only half crazy (but yes, i did a "full" or "ultra" or "iron" distance tri)
49: totally agree. even as a FOP/MOP guy, my swims are not fast (last night's workout: 3x500 with a target of 7:05 - ended up doing 7:30 for each one).
50: yeah, there are some tris out there like that.
17: You got either of those bikes on teh cheap? Like teh really cheap?


Posted by: tweedledopey | Link to this comment | 03-10-09 8:19 AM
horizontal rule
54

where are you swimming, tweedledopey?


Posted by: will | Link to this comment | 03-10-09 8:23 AM
horizontal rule
55

54: there's a gym with a pool in the basement of my office building in tyson's corner.


Posted by: tweedledopey | Link to this comment | 03-10-09 8:28 AM
horizontal rule
56

swimming by yourself? ouch. That is painful.

I am impressed that you can push yourself that way.


Posted by: will | Link to this comment | 03-10-09 8:30 AM
horizontal rule
57

My job is such that I cannot easily make any group anythings. Part of the reason I am looking to get out. I did all of my IM training last year solo. As for swimming solo, my workouts are typically only 1 hour or less, so it's not that bad at all.


Posted by: tweedledopey | Link to this comment | 03-10-09 8:33 AM
horizontal rule
58

50: I have seen them vary in relative distance, but from what I believe most are as you describe. When I did them (years ago) and worked with some relative non-swimmers on their training, the goal we set was generally to survive the swim while not using far too much energy (goal 1 was to get past the typical thrash and relax). And the best strategy even for most good swimmers is to pretty much cruise out to a nice cushion at a comfortable pace, but the energy expenditure for "pushing it" is generally not worth it given the relative distances.

I could hold off most folks on the bike leg, but as legions of skiny running Nazis passed me on the last leg, I would spend my time mentally composing On Being a Thunder Lizard in an Age of Gazelles. The best triathlon I ever did for me (a freestyle sprinter) was one in Texas with a pool-based staggered start which used a multiplier on the swim time since they only had room for a 150 yard swim, led to me actually winning my age group in that one. Swimming last would be another way to advantage swimmers, at greatly increased safety risk.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 03-10-09 8:57 AM
horizontal rule
59

48 -- Chas Kuralt said it was the best drive in the US.

I suppose the River really is the main factor on the date. Enough water to make the race, but not so much that it's really dangerous. (My Yellowstone River rescue story -- I've told it, I'm sure -- is Mothers Day.)

I think I remember there being a swimming leg in the John Colter run -- I never did it, but they really ought to have swimming -- but I can't find any sign of it. Looking at last year's times, there were a number of men in their 20s and 30s who lost to the 82 year old. I could probably lose a running race to an 82 year old, but it would be a little disheartening.


Posted by: CharleyCarp | Link to this comment | 03-10-09 8:24 PM
horizontal rule
60

I wonder if I could make up for the fact that I run incredibly slowly?

I'm pretty sure they call that walking, Sifu.


Posted by: Robust McManlyPants | Link to this comment | 03-10-09 8:49 PM
horizontal rule
61

60: nono, you should see me. It's like the six million dollar man when he runs in slow motion. Arms all flying around, legs going up in the air. There's just very little forward progress involved.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 03-10-09 8:52 PM
horizontal rule
62

Most people doing triathlons cannot swim very well.

That's funny. A cyclist I know say that most people doing triathlons cannot bicycle very well.


Posted by: mcmc | Link to this comment | 03-10-09 8:58 PM
horizontal rule
63

61: Is there a rope involved? I suspect Sifu might be mistaking jumping rope for running.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 03-10-09 8:58 PM
horizontal rule
64

62: there is a common theme, here.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 03-10-09 9:00 PM
horizontal rule
65

Yes, good swimmers do not have an advantage in a triathalon. It's usually an open water swim, which would cut down on an experienced swimmer's advantage of dive start, turns, etc. It's a giant thrash in crappy water, and given the length of the race, an amazing time advantage in a swim (say, beating other people by 1-2 minutes) completely gets eaten by the bike and the run. It _would_ make more sense to do the swim last, but people would totally drown. As it was, the last time I did a sprint-distance tri, they were fishing people out of the water on the swim. Runners and bikers do have the advantage.


Posted by: Miranda | Link to this comment | 03-10-09 9:12 PM
horizontal rule
66

there is a common theme, here.

PICK UP COMMON THEME.


Posted by: Josh | Link to this comment | 03-10-09 10:44 PM
horizontal rule
67

The common theme burns yours hands as if it is on fire.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 03-10-09 10:49 PM
horizontal rule
68

OH NO YOU DID NOT.


Posted by: OPINIONATED ZORK PROOFREADER | Link to this comment | 03-10-09 10:50 PM
horizontal rule