Unsatisfactory Experiences with the University of Chicago and the Art of Writing About Motorcycle Repair
I wonder if they make skorts for sports!
I enjoyed my brief experience working in an applesauce cannery, but that doesn't provide the intellectual engagement of motorcycle repair. When I want to achieve a flow state and work with my hands these days, I knit. The thinking is mostly on the front end with design and pattern adaptation, though.
Culottes are never appropriate.
Aren't articles about people with a lot of them fancy diplomas and book-learnin' taking up trades and other "honest work" a staple of economic downturns? I seem to remember the early '90s having a run on "I quit grad school and make a comfortable living as a plumber; here is an essay about my status anxieties" pulp in Harper's et al.
The author of that article is confused. He apparently thinks that his readers know not of either bushings or abstracts, and he confesses to cutting metal conduit with a hacksaw. A hacksaw!
What would you use to cut metal conduit?
Also, this article which I haven't finished yet seems interesting.[...] The author has just used the phrase "heedful absorption".
In the second article (which features a picture of an obviously angstful wrench), we get:
Is there a more "real" alternative (short of inseminating turkeys)?
max
['Also, withdrawal is probably not an option.']
I wonder if they make skorts for sports!
No. In our litigious society, that would no doubt be a tort.
I think he meant to imply that he was really inseminating turkeys.
I wonder if they make skorts for sports!
Wasn't that the original purpose?
What would you use to cut metal conduit?
A pipe cutter, typically. Varies a bit with material and diameter.
Oops. Forgot the post title.
fwiw, you can do a decent job on conduit with a hacksaw, but you need the right pitch or you'll make a mess of it.
I once started a hay bale on fire cutting metal with one of those saws with abrasive-disk blades. Fortunately, my boss had a fire extinguisher in his truck. Unfortunately, it wasn't charged so we had to put it with shovels.
He does have a pretty good analysis of the stupidity and soullessness of large-org employment though. I especially liked the bit about the former co-worker who would joke about how he did a terrible job because he knew he wouldn't get caught ... and was high all the time.
What would you use to cut metal conduit?
13: cut off saws are all kinds of fun.
we once cut a friends truck in half with one, as an (im)practical joke[*]. Didn't take very long.
[*] which, in context, wasn't as bad as it sounds.
17: If you glued it back, no harm.
It was really a fairly alarming fire because we were in a big metal building with a bunch of machinery and no running water. After the fire extinguisher fail, we had to push the burning bale outside to get to dirt.
I once started a hay bale on fire cutting metal with one of those saws with abrasive-disk blades.
Someone here in town set the bosque along the river on fire like that a few years ago. Many acres burned
I was using such a blade to cut corrugated roofing at my shed in the mountains early this week. No water, no fire department. I had four fire extinguishers on hand.
He apparently thinks that his readers know not of either bushings or abstracts, and he confesses to cutting metal conduit with a hacksaw.
Measured in likelihood of screw-ups, the cost is not identical for all avenues of inquiry when deciding which hypothesis to pursue. Imagine you're trying to figure out why a bike won't start. The fasteners holding the engine covers on 1970s-era Hondas are Phillips head, and they are almost always rounded out and corroded. Do you really want to check the condition of the starter clutch if each of eight screws will need to be drilled out and extracted, risking damage to the engine case? Such impediments have to be taken into account.
Yes! YES YOU FUCKING DO! It's a goddamn engine cover! It has to come off all time to fix anything. So, life is hard...gonna be replacin' the goddamn screws. Ya know, craftmanship!
max
['Well, I feel better.']
>If you glued it back, no harm.
Nah, you can't really easily even weld a frame back after you've done that, without adding weight and reinforcing across the break. And we cut through the driveshaft too, which is a dicey repair.
But it was ok.
It's really easy to start the sort of fire you describe while welding, and not notice for a while under the helmet.
Do straw bales burn well? I'd have thought they were too dense.
...of the starter clutch if each of eight screws will need to be drilled out and extracted
besides, this is really pretty rare. If you're any good with an impact hammer and have room to work, you can probably get them out ok even when completely stripped. Doesn't even take much longer than a regular screwdriver. Then you put hex heads on when you put the casing back. No problem.
Drilling out and extracting is for when a heads been sheared off already.
So, life is hard ..
It's a hard, hard life, to be replacing screws at $40 an hour. It's like you load sixteen tons, and what do you get? $80,000 a year gross. But it's mostly inside work, and not too much heavy lifting.
23: yeah, but it can be done. It just wasn't worth the effort. So I assumed that's what you meant.
The bales were hay, not straw. Hay does burn slowly at first, so you can go awhile before you notice the fire, especially if your nose if already full of the smell of hot metal. But, flame will eventually get to where it can get fuel and air in plentiful quantities. Don't know about straw as I've never lit that on fire.
Do straw bales burn well? I'd have thought they were too dense.
They're smouldery, but burn a hell of a lot better than concrete does. Assuming you haven't spilled too much deisel around, at least.
It's articles like this that make me wonder why I subscribe to the NYT. I pay $8 a copy for a year's sunday-only subscription, delivered by mail. It sometimes arrives Thursday, sometimes the following week. If I lived in the right neighborhood I could get it on Sunday for $5. When I read it I spend half the time mutterring "I hate the Times"
26: Just out of curiosity, why'd you cut the truck in half and what did the owner say when he saw?
30:
a) because he'd stolen [my friends] the weekend before and parked it at work [scrapyard] where it was accidentally partially parted out.
b) "you assholes!"
we fixed up my friends truck and put another one together for [guy with two halves of a truck] the next day, so it was all fine.
I love that you distinguish between hay and straw. I should go see if they are baled differently. (I was thinking of straw even though I saw that you wrote "hay".) OK - "not instant flames but more than concrete" is plenty of calibration for me.
im(very limited) experience, Megan, they're baled about the same which leaves straw bales at about 1/2 the weight of hay bales or a bit less, fwiw. Of course, you can bale different ways. If you want to throw them around by hand though, your dry weight will top out at 40lb or so at a guess.
straw burns easier, natch, but they're both fairly dense so unless you've got a lot of heat the lack of oxygen beyond surface will be limiting, i'd think.
A very interesting article on self-ignition caused by moisture levels in hay. Who knew?
Who knew?
farmers.
it can happen with compost heaps, too.
You don't know your own strength. Wikipedia just told me that hay bales are generally 70-100lbs.
I thought the jort was la mort, but Wikipedia says:
"Further, jorts are extremely prevalent in the state of New Jersey which actually leads the nation in jort sales."
I don't buy that 70-100 lbs thing. In my years of slinging hay I weighed about 90-95 lbs. 40 lbs sounds right. Not as heavy as a feed sack, but more awkward.
37: Whoops, that was unclear. Ballpark 40lb for straw at the same size as 80lb for hay, very roughly. That's at the sizes you'll see people slinging around. I have no idea how common this is any more. Autobaling etc. in bigger pieces is a different story.
You could always tell who pitched hay by the distinctive wear patterns on their jeans. You get the bale from the ground with one hand and the hook and then use your thigh to assist in the lift. The pokey bits from the hay would leave a mark.
70 to 100 pounds for a bale seems about right. I know that I wasn't strong enough to do that type of work for more than five minutes.
but those are big bales, which is why I said "top out" You get smaller ones probably about half the volume and weight.
It's been a long time since I've done anything like that though, perhaps I'm misremembering.
42-> 39 by way of 34.
And 42 is exactly right. You've got to be pretty bloody strong to sling those all day.
I refer you to the second paragraph under "Modern Mechanised Techniques". The article does not specify the weight of a "small bale", which I'm guessing is the size we would mostly encounter. I have bought and moved straw bales, but I can't really distinguish between such light weights. 40lbs? 80lbs? 100lbs? They all fly around when I lift them.
Alfalfa weighs less than grass hay, apparently, which sounds right, but straw always seemed heavier than grass hay to me. That's probably just a false memory based on its being more uncomfortable to handle.
44: Yeah, those pictured look to be the size that are about as big (regardless of weight) as you want, as larger volumes are awkward.
They all fly around when I lift them.
Try it for 12 hours straight sometime, and get back to us...
Who knew?
farmers
Especially on the wet side of the PNW. Every summer, trying to squeeze out enough time between showers to get the hay dry enough to get it into the barn without burning the barn down, then busting ass bucking bales while the clouds gather. Nothing like watching those first drops hit the pickup windshield as as the last load is headed for the barn.
They all fly around when I lift them.
Two words: pea hay.
Wait, there's a dry side of the PNW? Who knew!
In my years of slinging hay I weighed about 90-95 lbs.
! How old were you?
Huh, this stuff is all coming back to me now. Strange for a city kid, it's not like I did much of it, or for long.
The number of strands you have your baler set for will change the weight more than the size. 3 strand is more compact, but might be just about the same size as 2. Half again as heavy though, iirc.
Pea hay is heavier? Lighter?
I'm very sure bales get heavy fast. I remember being very impressed with the (pretty, pretty) farm boys in my irrigation classes. All of them were ripped, and they all moved nicely. Most people aren't that way by default.
Who knew hay was such a lively subject here? Pretty soon we'll be having regular hay threads, a hay reading group, special baler-only meetups...
52: They have irrigation classes? If so, I want to study center pivot irrigation. I've always wondered how those work so well.
We didn't want to hurt your feelings, but the special baler-only meetups have already occurred. They were ok I guess.
52.1: Heavier. Almost no fun at all.
Are you taunting me? I took a solid year of irrigation classes and have written about my mixed feelings about center pivot systems. I haven't even answered LB's questions about center pivots.
You should come to the baler meetings, AWB. Lots of pretty farm boys.
54: Nothing new about straw man arguments on this site.
59: I haven't even answered LB's questions about center pivots.
And I've been checking repeatedly. I honestly have no idea if I was being completely ridiculous, or if that was a remotely practical suggestion.
59: I was completely unaware of any history there. I grew-up around a lot of center-pivot irrigation systems, but never was up-close to one. My dad's land was graded years ago, so they use (stop me if I'm getting too technical) a big pipe with a lot of little holes.
I'm dodging the question because I don't know either. My understanding is that center pivots are already pretty complicated to design. I don't know how much harder an extension that lets you get the corners would be.
Well, I can follow you, Moby, because of my advanced degree in this stuff. Like this?
63: I've seen them with extensions that get you the corners. They aren't very common though. Or weren't. I have no idea what's been happening on the plains in the past 10 years or so.
64: Yep. That's pretty much it. They used to use a ditch with siphon tubes from the ditch to the field.
Lot of work to set out the siphons. I'm not surprised they switched.
From "Hayfoot, Strawfoot!" by Bruce Catton, American Heritage Magazine 1957.
"[T]he drill sergeants repeatedly found that among the raw recruits there were men so abysmally untaught that they did not know left from right, and hence could not step off on the left foot as all soldiers should. To teach these lads how to march, the sergeants would tie a wisp of hay to the left foot and a wisp of straw to the right; then, setting the men to march, they would chant, "Hay-foot, straw-foot, hay-foot, straw-foot"--and so on, until everybody had caught on. A common name for a green recruit in those days was "strawfoot."
"On the drill field, when a squad was getting basic training, the men were as likely as not to intone a little rhythmic chant as they tramped across the sod--thus:"
"March! March.! March old soldier march!
Hayfoot, strawfoot,
Belly-full of bean soup--
March old soldier march!"
If I say "Gated-pipe irrigation system" instead of 'big pipe with lots of little holes', maybe my cousins will start to respect me.
50: 16, but I wasn't doing it constantly, only enough to feed some horses. Our hay was double-stranded bales of grass, and occasionally alfalfa, with baled straw for bedding when we couldn't get pine shavings. I could move it around, but there was some staggering involved at times.
Say "gated pipe" real casual-like. That's all you need.
Forget the hay. SPORK is a good word to say.
70: but I wasn't doing it constantly, only enough to feed some horses. Our hay was double-stranded bales of grass,
Yeah. Pretty standard when you own some horses.
I could move it around, but there was some staggering involved at times.
I figure I must of weighed maybe 80 when I was doing that? Lots of staggering, especially along about bale 50 or so. Lots of creative ways to move a bale: get it up on your back (ouch)! lift one end and drag! Roll it, which turns out to make lifting one end seem sensible. Kicking it downhill, which makes rolling it seem sensible. All just to avoid picking it up and kneeing it over.
That's all just to avoid the part I hated, which was grabbing the wires. Especially during the usual glove shortage.
max
['Fixin' fencing is way better.']
Lots of creative ways to move a bale:
The thing with bucking is, no amount of creativity will magically get the damn things *up*. It's back-and-shoulders work, and no way around it.
Hah. Crawl up under it and leg lift!
max
['This works if you are small.']
74 and 75 should be cross-posted to the withdrawal thread.
Okay, *I* know that hay can self-ignite. Megan, don't you have some kind of ag-related job? For shame.
I learned it from an episode of Fireman Sam.
grabbing the wires
Oh dear god. I'd forgotten about that.
74 and 75 should be cross-posted to the withdrawal thread.
Feel free, but I'm talking about being ten.
max
['So. Problem.']
Feel free, but I'm talking about being ten.
I'm confident that nearly everyone will agree: if the kid is 10, it's a bit late for the withdrawal method.
I'm confident that nearly everyone will agree: if the kid is 10, it's a bit late for the withdrawal method.
I was thinking it's a bit early--surely she can't get pregnant yet.
(Did I really just say that?)
(Did I really just say that?)
Why yes, you did.
Also, anything but a certainty at 10.
(Did I really just say that?)
Why yes, you did.
Also, anything but a certainty at 10.
crap. new browser. i apologize again. twice.
But if the kid is a "10," nothing can stop her! These kids today!
shiv tells me there's some technique involved in pitching hay bales that makes the work easier, if not easy. He also tells me that it was always fun when his cousins' various iron-pumping boyfriends would come out to help and find their gym muscles powerless against the hay.
I'm sure there must be a trick because a guy I went to high school with would put in 12 hour days loading the truck with hay. He was a strong guy, but still 150 pounds only allows so much muscle.
MUSCULAR WHERE IT COUNTS!
there's some technique involved in pitching hay bales that makes the work easier
Yeah. It's called ineffectually trying to drag them across until some guy who knows how to pitch hay and is strong enough to do it comes and tells you to go do something else for chrissake.
Jesus Christ, I know nothing about hay of any variety. I do, however, have lots of opinions on shorts, which start with "most shorts look bad on men."
['Fixin' fencing is way better.']
That's about the third wrongest thing ever said here. I have never been more grateful for a forest fire than one summer day building fence down in a slough bottom, watching a smoke cloud slowly, slowly drift to where it could sort of give us some shade.
He also tells me that it was always fun when his cousins' various iron-pumping boyfriends would come out to help and find their gym muscles powerless against the hay.
My dad talks about the college football players who would come out to work in the woods for the summer, starting out the first morning feeling salty as could be and then quickly discovering that they couldn't even come close to keeping up with the old busted up loggers.
A bale-bucking thread? Will wonders never cease. You know what really makes bucking bales suck? When the baler is malfunctioning and the bales start coming apart as you're bucking them. "Buck Bales" would be a good pseudonym for a cowboy poet, or even an Unfogged commenter.
What's with the NBA being interesting again? There were some good games in the first rounds, but lots of bad ones.
(Yeah, I know. Almost all the commenters interested in the NBA aren't here anymore.)
Great finish tonight, but I think Cleveland is still in big trouble.
Cleveland is in trouble, but only because I'm driving there tomorrow.
That's about the third wrongest thing ever said here.
This depends a lot on a) whether or not you have to peel the logs by hand, and b) fence contstruction.
also c) post-digger, or not.
When the baler is malfunctioning and the bales start coming apart as you're bucking them.
Oh, Jesus, yes.
Or a male porn star.
I thought of that, but it seemed too obvious.
"most shorts look bad on men."
Fixed that for you.
NPH: That's about the third wrongest thing ever said here. I have never been more grateful for a forest fire than one summer day building fence down in a slough bottom, watching a smoke cloud slowly, slowly drift to where it could sort of give us some shade.
a) Wood fence? b) In the PNW? Do you not like the sun, man?
Seriously, the worst thing about repairing 3-wire fence is usually dragging around the big roll of wire. Putting in new fence, yeah, that kinda sucks, because you gotta dig postholes.
B: Yeah. It's called ineffectually trying to drag them across until some guy who knows how to pitch hay and is strong enough to do it comes and tells you to go do something else for chrissake.
Hah! What happens when that old bastard is drinkin' beer and supervising, like always?
Anyways, the trick is 1) use weak arm and hand to grab the wire closest to your body. 2) Strong hand grabs the wire furthest away. 3) Lift with your back, not your arms. Your arms should be used just like you hanging from a chip-up bar. 4) Walk the bale the 50 feet over to the truck with your thighs pushing it along. 5) Big swing using your legs, and a little lift from your shoulders and let go. 6) Bang. In the truck where it becomes someone else's problem. Walk 50 feet to the next bale.
You can't put it over your shoulder like a bag of sand or concrete or feed or a 20-foot-long 2x12, and it's too heavy to carry around holding it away from your body. Of course, if you're a little kid, the swing bit doesn't work so well since, instead of swinging the bale, the bale tends to swing you. This results in variations on the theme 'fell on my butt and now I have a hay bale in my lap'.
max
['They tell me that's supposed to be fun.']
104.1: Barbed wire, in a swampy brush patch, on a 100+ degree day without a hint of breeze. I like the sun just fine, but that was ridiculous. Other fence-building experiences were more pleasant, but I actually like(d) working with hay.
Little kid jobs that didn't go well: my mom got tired of waiting for my dad to build mangers for the calves, so she built them herself. But she put the slats too far apart, so a lot of hay ended up on the floor of the barn. Calves being calves, that hay did a really marvelous job of knitting together a huge nasty mat of shit across the whole barn floor. I'd get assigned occasionally to go out and clean it up, which would lead to comical scenes of 60 or 70-pound kid straining away at a pitchfork handle trying to tear loose three or four square feet at a time to haul out to the garden.
re: 103
Oh, I don't know about that. The near universal tiny-but-tailored-shorts of current British fashion look pretty good/stylish on some people.
I had this guy as a TA for one of my classes. He's a surfer too, maybe he could write a book about surfing. "Heedful Absorption and Hangin' Ten" or something like that.
Finals blew, I barely knew
my graduation speech
and with college out of reach
if I don't find a job it's down to Dad
and Myrtle Beach
This guy had a point about college and its futility, probably, but then he blew it with his suggestion that all value must somehow be measured in intellectual terms or something.
Funny, I got the song in 108 stuck in my head just yesterday.