Re: "99 Problems", OTOH, Would Be Perfect

1

I heard of a wedding where the groom requested U2's "I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For". ("I just like the song!" he apparently protested. They did divorce within a few years, though.)


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 05-28-09 9:36 AM
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Pacing! (Shouldn't you be saying that, heebs?)


Posted by: Sir Kraab | Link to this comment | 05-28-09 9:39 AM
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"With or Without You" would work similarly.


Posted by: Di Kotimy | Link to this comment | 05-28-09 9:39 AM
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"Every Breath You Take" was an incredibly popular wedding song in its day. I wonder if it still is.


Posted by: oudemia | Link to this comment | 05-28-09 9:39 AM
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Pacing!


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 05-28-09 9:40 AM
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No question: Delilah


Posted by: Ginger Yellow | Link to this comment | 05-28-09 9:41 AM
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I went to one where the bride and groom led off the dancing with "You're Just Too Good To Be True" which was nice and smoochy for everyone there who wasn't Scottish and thus didn't associate it with a series of strange and horrible advertisements for Tennent's Lager.


Posted by: ajay | Link to this comment | 05-28-09 9:46 AM
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"Hello, I Love You" by The Doors.


Posted by: DS | Link to this comment | 05-28-09 9:48 AM
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I don't remember the name of the song, but my father's wife came down the aisle to lyrics along the lines of "everything that's happened in our lives has brought us together." I'm not capturing it quite right, but it was clearly grateful that those things had happened. In other words, isn't it lucky that my mother and her husband died! Particularly lovely when the children and grandchildren of each were there, several of them standing up as attendants. Plus, she and her husband were friends with my parents and many of the people at the wedding had known all four of them for years.


Posted by: Sir Kraab | Link to this comment | 05-28-09 9:49 AM
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I was just at a wedding where the recessional was a string quartet doing "I believe in a thing called love". Not inappropriate, I suppose.


Posted by: Eggplant | Link to this comment | 05-28-09 9:50 AM
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4: I know it was still going strong in the late 90s.

If I ever remarry (unlikely) the reception theme song will be Jimmy Buffet's "Why don't we get drunk and screw."


Posted by: togolosh | Link to this comment | 05-28-09 9:51 AM
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I feel peculiarly guilty for making fun of "At Last" a couple threads ago. Wrongshore called me out on it, and afterwards i was like yeah, what's my problem? That's a lovely song.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 05-28-09 9:52 AM
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9: Gah!

On the season finale of House Cameron walked down the aisle to a string quartet version of "As Tears Go By" by the Rolling Stones, which, you know, is an insane wedding song, but was clearly underlining the House storyline with which the happy wedding scenes were intercut.


Posted by: oudemia | Link to this comment | 05-28-09 9:54 AM
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I've heard "I Will Survive" (breakup anthem) and "White Wedding" (incest anthem? something Not Good going on there, anyway) at wedding receptions.


Posted by: DS | Link to this comment | 05-28-09 9:56 AM
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My beloved brother and his lovely wife opened their reception party with Dave Matthews' "Satellite," which wasn't inappropriate, exactly, just excruciating.


Posted by: Populuxe | Link to this comment | 05-28-09 9:56 AM
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My friend L played an extended chunk of his "birthday show" (dude, man) at his reception. It was sort of apt and charming really, and the rest of the reception music was just generic wedding up-jump-the-boogie type stuff.


Posted by: oudemia | Link to this comment | 05-28-09 10:00 AM
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Question: We've been compiling our wedding playlist for the last year or so. About how many songs does it take to flesh out a playlist for a reception?


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 05-28-09 10:03 AM
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"Hey Ladies" by the Beastie Boys is another one I've heard, and always seems like an odd choice.

Apocryphally, someone once played "OPP" by Naughty by Nature at a wedding. ("You down with OPP? Yeah you know me!") I guess that's pretty much like playing "Gold Digger" at a wedding today.

I'm also told that people play "Brown Sugar" by The Rolling Stones at weddings, though this I have not witnessed for myself.

"Free Bird" by Lynyrd Skynyrd would be so awesomely bad I just have to believe it's happened at a Southern wedding somewhere.


Posted by: DS | Link to this comment | 05-28-09 10:05 AM
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I'm also told that people play "Brown Sugar" by The Rolling Stones at weddings, though this I have not witnessed for myself.

Ooooh. A south Asian friend of mine married a white idiot frat boy, and at the (very posh) reception, his frat brothers jumped on stage and played "Brown Sugar."


Posted by: oudemia | Link to this comment | 05-28-09 10:10 AM
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Brown Sugar came up in comments here, and there were a surprising number of people with no idea of what was in the lyrics beyond a vague sense that Mick Jagger was saying that he found black women attractive.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 05-28-09 10:12 AM
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19: Jesus.


Posted by: DS | Link to this comment | 05-28-09 10:15 AM
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I just have to believe it's happened at a Southern wedding somewhere.

At a lot of them, I'm sure. I've never heard it at a wedding, but I did hear "Achy Breaky Heart" at one once.


Posted by: Populuxe | Link to this comment | 05-28-09 10:15 AM
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I just sold a book on amazon to a Mrs Elizabeth F. Ogg.

|>


Posted by: asilon | Link to this comment | 05-28-09 10:15 AM
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13.1: Yeah, it sucked. I haven't forgiven her and I'm not planning to. Although I was actually a little less upset than my sibs because I was already so sad and angry and alienated about the whole thing. Not fair of me; we all think my mom would have been happy about it and I was actually glad that my dad married someone who knew her. But fair's just not a consideration for me where my mother's death is concerned.

My siblings were much more open to the marriage and all participated in the ceremony in some way and it freaked them the hell out. My SIL, who knew my mom for 25 years -- since she was in high school -- was so upset that she bailed on the first half of the reception and just drove around for a long time.


Posted by: Sir Kraab | Link to this comment | 05-28-09 10:16 AM
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20: Me included. In general, I have to hear a song at least 100 times before I listen to the lyrics. I have no idea about the appropriateness of most songs for weddings beyond the question of whether they're danceable.

Is the whole reception supposed to happen without any lyrical mention at all of unhappy love?


Posted by: Bave Dee | Link to this comment | 05-28-09 10:18 AM
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Darkness imprisoning me
All that I see
Absolute horror
I cannot live
I cannot die
Trapped in myself
Body my holding cell.

If that doesn't say "nuptial bliss," I don't know what does.


Posted by: Flippanter | Link to this comment | 05-28-09 10:18 AM
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21: Did Jesus suggest that song, or was he just one of the band members?


Posted by: Sir Kraab | Link to this comment | 05-28-09 10:19 AM
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25: Me too. In fact, I forgot to look at the lyrics during that thread, and have heard it multiple times since then without noticing anything either.


Posted by: Cryptic ned | Link to this comment | 05-28-09 10:22 AM
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25: Generally speaking, songs about cheating, divorce, and breakups -- especially songs celebrating any of these things -- are dispreferred. The cruder songs about tappin' that ass are also usually best avoided, especially if they can be directly interpreted as commentary on the bride. (Playing "Brown Sugar" to a South Asian bride marrying a white guy is a really hostile act.) Also probably best to steer clear of that one song by whathisface about the preferability of marrying ugly women.


Posted by: DS | Link to this comment | 05-28-09 10:23 AM
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27: Probably the sound guy.


Posted by: DS | Link to this comment | 05-28-09 10:26 AM
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OT: Rampant student hugging. Kind of charming, kind of problematic. I mean, (white) boys hugging (white) boys? I blame teh gays.


Posted by: Sir Kraab | Link to this comment | 05-28-09 10:29 AM
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See, I DJ'd a wedding a couple years ago, and I think I avoided songs about breakups, or at least songs that I knew were about breakups. But we got into all kinds of stuff as the night wore on, and now I'm suddenly afraid I alienated the bride somehow. (I don't think I did; we're still friends.) I don't know what "September" is about at all, for example. Why September? What happened in September? No idea. And that one's safe, because the bride requested it, but what about others?

The "Brown Sugar" thing I would have stayed well clear of even before Unfogged informed me what that song is actually about.


Posted by: Bave Dee | Link to this comment | 05-28-09 10:29 AM
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I don't think"September" has any words, other than "September" and "Remember". The chorus consists entire of vowels, as far as I can tell..


Posted by: Cryptic ned | Link to this comment | 05-28-09 10:31 AM
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28: The lyrics are actually more thoughtful than you'd expect -- it's just not wedding material.


Posted by: DS | Link to this comment | 05-28-09 10:31 AM
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25: In general, I have to hear a song at least 100 times before I listen to the lyrics.

This is almost incomprehensible to me. I know a lot of people who are like this, many more than ones who (like me) need to be able to make out at least some of the lyrics on first listening in order to enjoy the song. I think it's partly that I'm very verbally oriented, but there's also the straight-up weirdo factor to consider.

I also can't just listen to music - after a couple of minutes my mind starts to wander, so I need some other activity to suck up spare processor cycles or I'll end up muttering to myself about random stuff.


Posted by: togolosh | Link to this comment | 05-28-09 10:38 AM
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My mother-in-law suggested some country song for our first dance song or the mother-son dance that was a song written from the perspective of someone whose wife or girlfriend has just died. The music video is set mostly at an accident scene! (She thought it was sweet and about love...)

"Hey Ya" was played at our reception, was completely inappropriate, but shaking it like a Polaroid picture is fun.


Posted by: Cala | Link to this comment | 05-28-09 10:39 AM
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I think you all need to go read 17 and be more helpful.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 05-28-09 10:39 AM
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38

Uh, please and thank you.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 05-28-09 10:39 AM
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That sort of depends on how long your reception is going to be.


Posted by: Cala | Link to this comment | 05-28-09 10:41 AM
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At the last wedding attended, the groom's old girlfriend asked me to dance. I guess she saw me just sitting there and took pity on me. We hit the floor just as "Sexual Healing" started.

No, it didn't portend anything.


Posted by: Mo MacArbie | Link to this comment | 05-28-09 10:43 AM
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33: The song from The Fantasticks? As in, "When no one wept except the willow blah blah blah"?


Posted by: oudemia | Link to this comment | 05-28-09 10:43 AM
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Does everybody have songs at weddings?

I always figured that if I ever get married, I'd have a swing band or something. But I imagine every one doing the fox trot and waltzing at my wedding, so you can see it's a big fantasy.


Posted by: Bostoniangirl | Link to this comment | 05-28-09 10:47 AM
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42: Molly and helpy-chalk had a swing band. It was fun -- of course there are songs, just not "Achy Breaky Heart" or whatever.


Posted by: oudemia | Link to this comment | 05-28-09 10:48 AM
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37: I know you're a mathematician and not an arithmetician, but the planned length of the reception less half an hour for toasts, etc., divided by 3 (I'm figuring the average song is 3 minutes long) ought to do it, right? Probably plenty of cushion in there in case things go on longer than excepted.


Posted by: Sir Kraab | Link to this comment | 05-28-09 10:49 AM
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41: Earth, Wind & Fire.


Posted by: Bave Dee | Link to this comment | 05-28-09 10:51 AM
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I also can't just listen to music - after a couple of minutes my mind starts to wander, so I need some other activity to suck up spare processor cycles or I'll end up muttering to myself about random stuff.

This is hilariously, eerily accurate. Are you living inside my brain?

40.2 is delightfully traditional in true Unfogged style. Dude! Self-blocking in action! Maybe she asked the DJ to play that. Didja ever think of that? Huh?


Posted by: Witt | Link to this comment | 05-28-09 10:51 AM
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24: That's awful. I'm willing to write off reception songs as unimportant, but not walking-down-the-aisle songs. Oof.


Posted by: oudemia | Link to this comment | 05-28-09 10:51 AM
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What's up with this hugging thing that the kids are into?

|>


Posted by: Hamilton-Lovecraft | Link to this comment | 05-28-09 10:52 AM
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Rampant student hugging.

Is this really that new of a trend? There was pretty intense friend hugging when I was in college, which was late 90s and early part of this decade. It seemed particularly prominent from people who came from Northeast prep school backgrounds, and it was new to me (no hugging in my high school).

I've noticed it stopped after college outside of hipster parties.


Posted by: Criminally Bulgur | Link to this comment | 05-28-09 10:55 AM
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About how many songs does it take to flesh out a playlist for a reception?

44 is pretty good. However, if you don't trust your DJ's judgment, give him/her a longer list.

And holy smoke, 24 has given me an entirely new category of thing to worry about that I had never considered. Yikes. I can only imagine my siblings' reaction.


Posted by: Witt | Link to this comment | 05-28-09 10:55 AM
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Are you living inside my brain?

Yes. Sorry about the carpet. Damn incontinent cat.


Posted by: togolosh | Link to this comment | 05-28-09 10:55 AM
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Whoops, Kraab-pwned.


Posted by: Hamilton-Lovecraft | Link to this comment | 05-28-09 10:56 AM
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Well yes, I bow to no man in my ability to block my own cock. But her date gave me pause as well.


Posted by: Mo MacArbie | Link to this comment | 05-28-09 10:59 AM
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31 is hilarious, especially the parent's attempt to blame hugging on Facebook and "virtual communication." Clearly, nothing happens in this world to anyone under 25 that isn't somehow caused by Facebook.

There was an article a while back about a school where all the students would cuddle during lunch. They'd get in big piles and cuddle. ZOMG.

In my high-school days, there was a lot of cuddling and massage-giving and on-the-mouth kissing between friends. Most of us didn't date at all, and never each other. I think it was a way of getting physical contact without getting involved in relationships. It was sort of a shock to me to get to college and find that whenever someone touched me in a comfortable way, it meant they wanted to, like, date me.

Now I have some friendships like those HS ones again--on-the-mouth smooches even with straight boys, and a lot of physical closeness--but am possibly going to try maybe sort of dating a guy who went to my college, a much more traditional type of dude. Does that mean giving up my platonic smoochy relationships with others? Even potential jealousy really irritates me.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 05-28-09 11:04 AM
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Huh. We hugged at my high school. It is still a casual greeting for me. A more intense (for a longer absence, but not romantic) greeting would move up to a cheek kiss.


Posted by: Megan | Link to this comment | 05-28-09 11:06 AM
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In my middle-school and HS in California, everyone hugged each other for greetings. It sometimes made me uncomfortable, but then, we all grew out of it and into proper repressed adulthood soon enough.


Posted by: Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 05-28-09 11:08 AM
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I went to a Northeast prep school. No physical contact between friends there.


Posted by: Cryptic ned | Link to this comment | 05-28-09 11:11 AM
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In fact, I think the first time I made out with someone, at age 19, it was all the neurotransmitters released while we were hugging for like an hour (breaking my previous record for a hug by about 59'40") which made me wander around for the next two weeks feeling an intense desire to be with her again, more so than any sexual thing.


Posted by: Cryptic ned | Link to this comment | 05-28-09 11:18 AM
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That's a damn long hug, Ned. Don't you get sweaty?


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 05-28-09 11:21 AM
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Does that mean giving up my platonic smoochy relationships with others?

Was it really platonic, or just non-platonic in a limited way? Would you smooch-on-the-mouth-in-a-friend-way someone whom you found physically unattractive?


Posted by: Criminally Bulgur | Link to this comment | 05-28-09 11:21 AM
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I can't believe no one has mentioned "Mrs. Robinson." I heard the DJ play that at a friend's wedding once.


Posted by: Cyrus | Link to this comment | 05-28-09 11:23 AM
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We were very sleepy, WAB.


Posted by: Cryptic ned | Link to this comment | 05-28-09 11:26 AM
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60: Well, I mean, really, nothing on earth is truly platonic. And I guess my point is that a lot of my friendships are, to a certain degree, also physical relationships. But no, they're not necessarily friends I have *sex* with. I guess I just find it weird to consider re-defining boundaries with my friends, whom I've known for years, in order to make some guy I've basically just started hanging out with more comfortable. (I'm not saying he's asked that either; we haven't actually started dating yet, but there have been some pretty clear communications about his intentions.)


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 05-28-09 11:30 AM
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Does everybody have songs at weddings?

My dad and his wife had this string quartet play at their wedding.


Posted by: Josh | Link to this comment | 05-28-09 11:31 AM
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(And frankly, I think my whole thought process along these lines amounts to one giant auto-cockblock. He might be totally cool.)


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 05-28-09 11:32 AM
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Well, I mean, really, nothing on earth is truly platonic.

Hell. Platonic isn't platonic. (See, among others, Charmides, passim.)


Posted by: oudemia | Link to this comment | 05-28-09 11:35 AM
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I can't seem to remember anything even slightly inappropriate being played at any wedding/reception I've attended, but most of them haven't been big dancing ones. The song that's usually playing in my head at receptions is "We've Gotta Get Out Of This Place". It would be fun to play "November Rain" and "Every Rose Has Its Thorn" at a headbanger wedding.


Posted by: minneapolitan | Link to this comment | 05-28-09 11:40 AM
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I don't like this side of me, but I can get pretty jealous. But it almost never comes up w/ Jammies because of the thick layer of trust. Previous relationships never really developed that trust, although we'd stay together long enough that I'd think it was there, and then berate myself for feeling jealous.

My point is that if you were dating me and I found the kissing unsettling and asked you to back off it, within six months I would probably trust you enough that we could revisit the issue and I'd be more relaxed. Relationship concessions during the trust-building phase aren't necessarily permanent concessions.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 05-28-09 11:40 AM
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I heard "No Children" played (late, after b&g had left) at a reception once. Not sure if that's come up before.


Posted by: soup biscuit | Link to this comment | 05-28-09 11:44 AM
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Well, I mean, really, nothing on earth is truly platonic.

MY COCK IN THE ASS OF THIS YOUNG PUPIL WOULD DISAGREE


Posted by: OPINIONATED PLATO | Link to this comment | 05-28-09 11:47 AM
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See, my thing is I'm not jealous at all, can't even pretend to be. If something's going on outside the relationship, I sort of figure my partner knows what he's doing and should probably be left to decide what he thinks is appropriate for his other relationships. I'd feel a pang if I were really convinced that he cared more for someone else and was just settling for me. But I've discovered, the hard way, a few times, that I just can't even crank up jealousy. And that's actually kind of insulting. One guy left me (possibly--it was mysterious) for another woman in part because my lack of jealousy made him feel like I didn't take our relationship seriously. I did! I just figure that he can manage his own relationships, because I'd sure as hell not want someone managing mine.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 05-28-09 11:49 AM
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And at a different wedding, a different mountain goats song, the one with the like something like 'Our love is like the border between Greece and Albania'

In context, it was really fitting though. I'm

< /flyby >


Posted by: soup biscuit | Link to this comment | 05-28-09 11:49 AM
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63: I would generally regard the ability to deal with the fact that you have other male friends as a pretty basic test -- insecurity on this score is bad, and I'd be pretty impatient with it. OTOH that may be why I'm currently single.


Posted by: DS | Link to this comment | 05-28-09 11:49 AM
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70: Surely, Plato, you mean between the thighs?


Posted by: oudemia | Link to this comment | 05-28-09 11:50 AM
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And frankly, I think my whole thought process along these lines amounts to one giant auto-cockblock

Hate to pull out the male privilege card, but, AWB, while you can certain block a cock, to auto-cockblock, you've got to have a cock of your own.


Posted by: peep | Link to this comment | 05-28-09 11:58 AM
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73: I may be anticipating a jealousy that isn't actually there just because one of the ways he awkwardly declared interest was by expressing delighted surprise when I corrected his assumption that Bave was my boyfriend, and a few other little faux-jealous moments. I'm not very good at this regular, old not-kinky-or-queer-or-absurdly-direct-at-all "dating" discourse. When I met him a few weeks ago, he asked me for my number. I totally biffed that one, because no one has ever asked me for my number in that performative "I am interested in you and might like to see you in a private/romantic context" way in my whole life. I think I said, "Uh, [mutual friend] has my number if you ever need it." I am telling you; I am smooth.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 05-28-09 11:59 AM
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I'm sure I'm not the only person here who has had this experience: Dating a classicist, ancient greek homosexuality comes up, next thing you know we're making awkward attempts at intercrural sex. How the hell is that supposed to work? I can see it if you're not very turned on, but a fully erect penis has an angle of dangle that's all wrong.


Posted by: Abe Lincoln | Link to this comment | 05-28-09 12:01 PM
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I've got an invite for my sister's wedding that among other things asks "what song will get you on the dance floor". I'm tempted to answer 4'33". Or maybe "Flight of the Bumblebee" or "Revolution 9".


Posted by: Tom Scudder | Link to this comment | 05-28-09 12:02 PM
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I can see how an epidemic of hugging might give school administrators nightmares, but the administrator quoted in the story really makes himself sound like a B-movie principal with this:

""It was needless hugging -- they are in the hallways before they go to class. It wasn't a greeting. It was happening all day."

Needless hugging! It was anarchy!


Posted by: Populuxe | Link to this comment | 05-28-09 12:02 PM
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75 -- 2nd attempt--
Hate to pull out the male privilege card, but, AWB, while you can certainly block a cock, to auto-cockblock, you've got to have a cock of your own.


Posted by: peep | Link to this comment | 05-28-09 12:03 PM
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||

Do I miss private practice? No, I do not.

|>


Posted by: Not Prince Hamlet | Link to this comment | 05-28-09 12:10 PM
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Holy shit, the G-20's coming to Pittsburgh in September.

Hey, minne, you and your anarchist friends need a bourgeois place to crash?


Posted by: JRoth | Link to this comment | 05-28-09 12:15 PM
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70: Surely, Plato, you mean between the thighs?

TIME TO GROW UP AND FACE FACTS, NO-WOMAN.


Posted by: OPINIONATED PLATO | Link to this comment | 05-28-09 12:16 PM
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80: could be a strap-on


Posted by: Tom Scudder | Link to this comment | 05-28-09 12:22 PM
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You'd have to be pretty dysfunctional to cock-block your own dildo.


Posted by: JRoth | Link to this comment | 05-28-09 12:23 PM
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82: and the next Yearly Kos too! Are they at the same time, like the MLB All-Star game and the furry convention were in 2006?


Posted by: Cryptic ned | Link to this comment | 05-28-09 12:25 PM
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76: Smooth like silk!

It's actually kind of nice when Aggressively Normal dating stuff like that happens. Hopefully it stays humorous faux-jealousy, I guess you never know. I dated a girl for a while who I mistakenly thought was being humorously faux-jealous about my female friends, until I found out rather late on that no, all those chicks were Really Not Okay With Her. That's annoying.


Posted by: DS | Link to this comment | 05-28-09 12:25 PM
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Another article from the link in 81: "Male Judges Advise Women Lawyers to Lose the Distracting 'Ally McBeal' Look."

Not to worry, though, LB, Di, m.leblanc, and you other lawyer gals. There's a blog just for you! Corporette, "a fashion and lifestyle blog for overachieving chicks" will help you answer burning questions such as, "Pony Tails at the Office: Yay or Nay?"


Posted by: Sir Kraab | Link to this comment | 05-28-09 12:29 PM
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77: Why not just go with more common forms of frottage?


Posted by: DS | Link to this comment | 05-28-09 12:29 PM
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77: I was once punch -- hard! -- in the arm by a now-friend who yelled, "I TRIED THAT INTERCRURAL THING! IT DOESN'T WORK!" I had apparently met him once before and described the practice to him.
Additionally, it didn't really work for the Greeks (or rather, Athenians) either. More of a noble lie they told themselves in order that they might imagine the male citizen body forever unpenetrated (in the case of the ephebes who would soon be citizens for whose intactness the intercrural thing was cooked up).


Posted by: oudemia | Link to this comment | 05-28-09 12:30 PM
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90: +ed (heh).


Posted by: oudemia | Link to this comment | 05-28-09 12:35 PM
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89: Experimentation. Trying to understand what the hell those Greeks were up to. Apparently they were up to awkward and frustrating pseudo-sex.


Posted by: Abe Lincoln | Link to this comment | 05-28-09 12:38 PM
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88:

I regularly see female lawyers wearing extremely casual clothes to court. (ie Pants with short sleeve shirts or really casual shirts, no jacket.)

In my area, I don't see too many Ally McBeal short, short skirts. Cleavage is shown occassionally, but not excessively. So, the sexy, sexy outfits are rare, but the casual ones are not.

It is certainly easier for men than women (defined uniform), but, really, the line is still relatively clear.


Posted by: Will | Link to this comment | 05-28-09 12:40 PM
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82: I can't even find anything about demonstrations about it online yet. I am going to be seeing some Philly people soon though, so maybe they will know more about what's going on. I haven't actually traveled to a mass demo since 2000, and when I recently attended a brief street medic seminar, I started panicking during a role-play about washing pepper-spray out of someone's eyes. So it might not be such a good idea for me to be out there. Also, taking a bust in another town really, really sucks, as I have found to my chagrin in the past. Thanks for the offer though!

I hope they have a better firewall between the legal, public stuff and the affinity groups than there was in St. Paul last year. I don't think it's airing dirty laundry to say that that aspect of our tactics met with exceedingly limited success.


Posted by: minneapolitan | Link to this comment | 05-28-09 12:41 PM
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88: Has anyone here linked to that blog for goths about how to keep it real when you have an office job? Not amazingly hilarious, but some interesting discussion/skill-sharing.


Posted by: minneapolitan | Link to this comment | 05-28-09 12:43 PM
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75, 80: Sexist.

Cockblock has a clear meaning and rhyme that transcends the presence of a mere material cock. I guess it's kind of Platonic that way.


Posted by: Mo MacArbie | Link to this comment | 05-28-09 12:45 PM
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77: I'd imagine you should try it from behind, and be sure to get all oiled up at the gymnasium first.


Posted by: Bave Dee | Link to this comment | 05-28-09 12:50 PM
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We aren't having a DJ at our reception. Seems like too many things to go -- not wrong, exactly -- annoying. We're having a real dance party later, instead.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 05-28-09 12:52 PM
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97: Oh wait. They weren't doing it from behind? Of course they have to do it from behind. Sheesh. Must I be the metteur en scene? I can also demonstrate (not on me) radishing.


Posted by: oudemia | Link to this comment | 05-28-09 12:53 PM
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94: I'll be curious to see what happens. There's AFAICT a small but robust protest community (for want of a better term), and a limited history of police BS in response (a few incidents, but only 1 or 2 that have risen to the level of serious issues, rather than inevitable conflict). But the G-20 is hard core, with huge input from outside the City, and I could totally see things being as bad as the RNC.

One interesting thing is that Downtown (where I assume meetings will all occur) is a compact, geographically-limited area. They're not going to be able to shut it down (something like 300k workers every day), which means that free action will be possible within blocks of wherever the event(s) is/are.

Does anyone remember when Jeb Bush was chased into a janitor's closet? Good times.


Posted by: JRoth | Link to this comment | 05-28-09 12:53 PM
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#95. I'm weirdly fascinated by the word "corpgoth."


Posted by: Populuxe | Link to this comment | 05-28-09 12:53 PM
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98: You mean you aren't practicing your Electric Slide? Boo.


Posted by: oudemia | Link to this comment | 05-28-09 12:53 PM
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98: no music whatsoever, or are you making mixtapes, or what?


Posted by: Brock Landers | Link to this comment | 05-28-09 12:53 PM
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I hope they have a better firewall between the legal, public stuff and the affinity groups than there was in St. Paul last year.

This will be specifically interesting. BikePGH is a very high profile, highly-respectable organization that is nominally independent of Crit Mass, but of course in reality is closely tied. That's fine, because the town isn't uptight in that direction, but I wonder if that means that other advocacy orgs maybe won't have that firewall, because they've never needed it. Thomas Merton Center is the public/respectable face for a lot of this but I suspect that the lines between them and the affinity groups aren't as bright as they could/should be.

I'd like to go to the activist bookstore and ask around, but they'd surely peg me for a narc.


Posted by: JRoth | Link to this comment | 05-28-09 12:58 PM
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103: nothing pre-recorded. We're going to have some classical musicians for the ceremony and pre-reception drinks, and we're going to have a sing-a-long-y kind of thing, because we're such hippies. But nothing on the PA, no.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 05-28-09 12:59 PM
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100: Hmm, so you don't think they'll institute a pass system for the workers, like in Australia? One of the issues with RNC was that the Fibbies wound up working extensively with the Ramsey Cty. sheriff, the despicable Bob Fletcher, who was the most gung-ho about hassling protesters, to the exclusion of the local police departments who were at least somewhat more mellow. Also, remember that they'll be bringing in cops from all over, suburban ones and ones from little shitheel towns all over PA who really, really hate queers and people of color and leftists.


Posted by: minneapolitan | Link to this comment | 05-28-09 1:00 PM
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99: WHAT IS RADISHING?


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 05-28-09 1:01 PM
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107: Roman performance-enhancing drugs for chariot horses, as I recall.


Posted by: Flippanter | Link to this comment | 05-28-09 1:03 PM
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99: I second 107, though I suspect the truth is less awesome than my imagination. Again.


Posted by: togolosh | Link to this comment | 05-28-09 1:03 PM
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104: but they'd surely peg me for a narc
I know someone who made the initial contact with one of the infiltrators in the Welcoming Committee. That person said that they immediately suspected the infiltrator of not being who they said they were, but put that down to paranoia and actually were friendlier to the infiltrator than they would otherwise have been, due to feeling guilty and thinking that the scene should be more welcoming. So that might work in your favor. Or, post-RNC, people might be twice as paranoid. It's hard to say.


Posted by: minneapolitan | Link to this comment | 05-28-09 1:04 PM
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I'm guessing radishing is something along the lines of "just put it in a little bit".


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 05-28-09 1:04 PM
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88: It's a curse, really, being this hott. My briefs are quite impressive and all, but who can blame the judges for being more interested in my panties. It's just so goldartn difficult for the poor things to focus what with the overwhelmingness of the hottitude.


Posted by: Di Kotimy | Link to this comment | 05-28-09 1:04 PM
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105: U-N. F-O-G. G-E-D. Unfogged!


Posted by: Mo MacArbie | Link to this comment | 05-28-09 1:05 PM
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Less than informative:

One of the possible punishments was the radish punishment. With this the surprised moichos a radish was introduced into the after and removed for it the shame hair with hot ash. Apart from the physical pain here also still psychological humiliating of the Feminisierung by force was added.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 05-28-09 1:07 PM
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77
I'm sure I'm not the only person here who has had this experience: Dating a classicist, ancient greek homosexuality comes up, next thing you know we're making awkward attempts at intercrural sex.

You know, this blog probably isn't the only place where this question could be raised, but it must be close.


Posted by: Cyrus | Link to this comment | 05-28-09 1:07 PM
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107: Ooh! The traditional punishment for adultery. A daikon up the ass. The verb is "to radish"; just the noun verbed.


Posted by: oudemia | Link to this comment | 05-28-09 1:08 PM
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107: Where Urban Dictionary fails, Blackadder comes through.


Posted by: Hamilton-Lovecraft | Link to this comment | 05-28-09 1:10 PM
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116:

Some modern researchers believe that not only radishes, but also scorpio fish were used in the same way and with the same offenses as a radish. After the rektalen introduction however a distance of the fish would be because of the setting up Kiemen without strong Verwundungen hardly possible. In addition comes the Giftigkeit of the fish, which would cause a slow, potenziell deadly poisoning. Such kind of the torture is hardly to be accepted however for Athens, like it the British old historian David Cohen proved (see bibliography).


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 05-28-09 1:10 PM
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A daikon up the ass.

Now I understand what those ninja women in the first Lone Wolf & Cub movie were farming.


Posted by: Flippanter | Link to this comment | 05-28-09 1:10 PM
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Radishing (with accompanying power point slide).


Posted by: Populuxe | Link to this comment | 05-28-09 1:11 PM
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118: Potrzebie!


Posted by: minneapolitan | Link to this comment | 05-28-09 1:12 PM
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120: Man, that spiny fish is no joke.


Posted by: oudemia | Link to this comment | 05-28-09 1:15 PM
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65 et seq, I'm pretty sure you're overthinking it, AWB.


Posted by: Hamilton-Lovecraft | Link to this comment | 05-28-09 1:17 PM
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123: I know, and overthinking hasn't really saved me from being a crappy person to date in the past, so I'm not sure why I think it will this time. Sorry, really nice dude, but you are doomed!


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 05-28-09 1:21 PM
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Has Really Nice Dude seen you in your element behaving all affectionately and doing this Needless Hugging stuff?


Posted by: Hamilton-Lovecraft | Link to this comment | 05-28-09 1:22 PM
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My dear, you look simply radishing tonight.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 05-28-09 1:24 PM
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Sorry, really nice dude, but you are doomed!

Well... they all are.


Posted by: peep | Link to this comment | 05-28-09 1:24 PM
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"The knowledge that a person had been subject to a form of popular justice must have circulated widely and was possibly remembered by addressing the offender as 'the wide-arsed one' 'the doughy pantload' (ho euruproktos)"

Posted by: Populuxe | Link to this comment | 05-28-09 1:25 PM
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126: So, you like my tail!


Posted by: peep | Link to this comment | 05-28-09 1:25 PM
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106: Hmm. The sheriff should be (basically) fine. You're certainly right about the regional cops, tho. Yuck.

Also, I've determined* that the event will be at the Convention Center, which is at one corner of Downtown. I bet they'll shut down the bypass that goes underneath the cantilevered part of the building. I wonder how they'll police the river. But, really, you simply can't shut down Downtown, or even much limit access - the interstates pass right through, and there's no beltways, so you would literally paralyze the region.

Traditional parade/protest routes are relatively distant from the Center, so that may keep things from getting too fucked up. Also, Pgh has been agitating for the DNC, so they have a strong incentive not to fuck this up. The recession has painted the city in a great light, and local officials are viewing this as a real PR coup. Which mentality can of course lead to trying to lockdown, but seems to me to preclude outrageous plans.

Sadly, the 2 new Councilpersons who will help comprise a working progressive majority won't actually get into office until after the event.

* by reading the newspaper


Posted by: JRoth | Link to this comment | 05-28-09 1:26 PM
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Hands down, "Anything, Anything" by Dramarama.


Posted by: Moira | Link to this comment | 05-28-09 1:29 PM
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126: "That's radishable, Jerry."


Posted by: Hamilton-Lovecraft | Link to this comment | 05-28-09 1:31 PM
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I love this song, but I'm not sure it's appropriate for a first wedding dance .


Posted by: PGD | Link to this comment | 05-28-09 1:34 PM
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131: I like the cover by Buckcherry better.


Posted by: Flippanter | Link to this comment | 05-28-09 1:34 PM
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125: Yes, but with, you know, a known gay.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 05-28-09 1:36 PM
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Maybe they'll police the river like they did at Homestead.


Posted by: Mo MacArbie | Link to this comment | 05-28-09 1:40 PM
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Well, depending on how you want to play it, you could make your first "date" with RND an outing with a group of people including males you're likely to casually grope. Er, fondle. Er, hug. You know. If the date goes well enough that you and RND want to snog at the end of it, he can either work out for himself what it means that you didn't put your tongue in those other dude's mouths that night, or he can ask and you can get it cleared up right away.


Posted by: Hamilton-Lovecraft | Link to this comment | 05-28-09 1:42 PM
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Wait, what the fuck am I talking about? I haven't been on a date in 15 years.


Posted by: Hamilton-Lovecraft | Link to this comment | 05-28-09 1:42 PM
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137: Ha! I actually came up with that idea a few days ago, but it seems a little mean. You can't go around expecting "trust" from someone you're not even dating yet.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 05-28-09 1:45 PM
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I don't see how it's mean if it's just you being yourself.


Posted by: Hamilton-Lovecraft | Link to this comment | 05-28-09 1:48 PM
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136: With Bruce Willis! And Sarah Jessica Parker!


Posted by: oudemia | Link to this comment | 05-28-09 1:49 PM
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140: Yeah, it's something I struggle with. How much of "being myself" with new people is authenticity and transparency, and how much is just me being a dick?


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 05-28-09 1:57 PM
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141 to 140.


Posted by: Tom Scudder | Link to this comment | 05-28-09 1:57 PM
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You should exclusively date guys who casually hug and smooch their female friends.

Especially around tequila.


Posted by: Hamilton-Lovecraft | Link to this comment | 05-28-09 2:00 PM
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136: Frickin' Frick.


Posted by: minneapolitan | Link to this comment | 05-28-09 2:01 PM
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Speaking of cops, what the fuck? Really?


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 05-28-09 2:09 PM
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146: Now it is gone. What was it?


Posted by: oudemia | Link to this comment | 05-28-09 2:12 PM
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123: But... Isn't overthinking things half the fun of the pre-date chase?


Posted by: Di Kotimy | Link to this comment | 05-28-09 2:13 PM
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I got there just in time, I guess. Trailer for the sequel to Bad Lieutenant, with Nick Cage, Val Kilmer, Eva Mendes, and Xzibit.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 05-28-09 2:14 PM
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129: directed by Werner Herzog.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 05-28-09 2:15 PM
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148: If you do it right, overthinking things can be the *entire*relationship* Laydeez.


Posted by: togolosh | Link to this comment | 05-28-09 2:17 PM
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Ah . . . I saw that earlier. A friend of my brother's was on the crew for the Ferrara iteration. Her stories are kind of scary. I imagine that the Herzog set will have its own scary stories, possibly with a lot less blow.


Posted by: oudemia | Link to this comment | 05-28-09 2:18 PM
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I know of a barbershop quartet that does a great rendition of this song of love.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 05-28-09 2:20 PM
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Really either Lyle Lovett's "The Wedding Song (An Acceptable Level of Ecstacy)" or "She's No Lady" (dig the phrasing!) would be perfect.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 05-28-09 2:22 PM
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151: That's always worked for me, except I substitute playing video games for the thinking part.


Posted by: Hamilton-Lovecraft | Link to this comment | 05-28-09 2:24 PM
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Oh, it's actually "An Acceptable Level of Ecstacy (The Wedding Song)". How embarrassing.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 05-28-09 2:25 PM
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17: "Hava Nagila" is good for getting people on the dance floor. How do you feel about being carried around in a chair, heebie?


Posted by: peep | Link to this comment | 05-28-09 2:28 PM
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157: I've warned my parents they're likely to be carried around on a chair at my wedding. Last child to be wed and all.


Posted by: Tom Scudder | Link to this comment | 05-28-09 2:30 PM
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I'm actually disappointed that 149 + 150 isn't a joke.

I'm looking forward to the Keitel character driving around and cursing Beltran for not swinging and the fans for not throwing more batteries.*

* cf.


Posted by: JRoth | Link to this comment | 05-28-09 2:34 PM
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I *really* want a hora at my wedding. Don't know quite how it's going to happen, though.


Posted by: Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 05-28-09 2:40 PM
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160: I believe most charge hourly. No use trying craigslist anymore.


Posted by: JRoth | Link to this comment | 05-28-09 2:40 PM
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161:Boo!!!!


Posted by: peep | Link to this comment | 05-28-09 2:45 PM
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We had a number of not-so-appropriate songs at our wedding reception, most memorably Archers of Loaf's "Plumbline".


Posted by: redfoxtailshrub | Link to this comment | 05-28-09 2:47 PM
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158: My sister was terrified of being carried around in a chair, so she made sure everybody knew not to try this.


Posted by: peep | Link to this comment | 05-28-09 2:48 PM
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It's surprisingly effortful to carry somebody around in a chair.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 05-28-09 2:49 PM
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I've heard 'Pur ti miro' recommended as a wedding song. Of course, it was also recommended as 'classy'. (And, in its favor, it's one of the sweetest melodies I've ever heard.... but oh the *plot*!)


Posted by: clew | Link to this comment | 05-28-09 2:51 PM
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Ecstasy, neb.


Posted by: mcmc | Link to this comment | 05-28-09 3:19 PM
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Quite so.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 05-28-09 3:24 PM
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How'd that sneaky ToS get into the middle of your comment, such that you had to modify it, neb?


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 05-28-09 3:35 PM
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Reception song: I knew the Bride (when she used to Rock and Roll).

Recessional: When I'm Sixty Four.

The latter was OK, even though it keeps asking "will you still love me?"


Posted by: md 20/400 | Link to this comment | 05-28-09 5:33 PM
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My sister and her hubby recessed to "Why Don't We Do It in the Road?".


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 05-28-09 5:34 PM
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170: My mother thought that the first ought to be my wedding song. Um, ha.


Posted by: oudemia | Link to this comment | 05-28-09 5:34 PM
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I Knew the Bride does have a great beat and you can dance to it.


Posted by: md 20/400 | Link to this comment | 05-28-09 5:36 PM
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170.2. Yes, better to ask that question before saying I do!


Posted by: di kotimy | Link to this comment | 05-28-09 5:38 PM
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160: Will there be any festive Jews there? I think most people know what to do, they just need some people to give them permission to do it.

Goyish friends of mine had the swing band play Hava Nagila. It was funny for a second while everyone realized what was happening, and then everyone got super into it right away.

Whether the Jew quotient is high or low, I recommend appointing a hora marshal who will make sure there are chairs, solicit strong people to hoist them, and generally be a crazed dictator telling people to either sit on chairs, hoist them, or keep dancing in a circle while people bounce up and down.


Posted by: Wrongshore | Link to this comment | 05-28-09 6:39 PM
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Don't know if I mentioned this here before, but at our request the klezmer band incorporated the Batman theme song into Hava Nagila. Hum it, it works.


Posted by: Wrongshore | Link to this comment | 05-28-09 6:41 PM
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JM probably weighs something like 50 or 60 pounds, so she's pretty optimally placed for being lifted in a chair.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 05-28-09 6:42 PM
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32: Did it go as well as you thought it would?


Posted by: Wrongshore | Link to this comment | 05-28-09 6:44 PM
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I don't want to be hoisted; I want to dance!

Also, you're a fine one to talk, neb.


Posted by: Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 05-28-09 7:08 PM
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You should have "come up to my room" by princess superstar. Good for weddings. And lip synching contests at jr high schools


Posted by: Turgid Jacobian | Link to this comment | 05-28-09 7:29 PM
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You get to dance, too.


Posted by: Wrongshore | Link to this comment | 05-28-09 7:30 PM
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My dad chose "Always On My Mind" for the father/daughter dance at my sister's wedding. Fail.


Posted by: JennyRobot | Link to this comment | 05-28-09 8:30 PM
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Although I'm not sure the hora is really the best showcase for JM's dance skills. "Now everyone keep going around in a circle!"


Posted by: mrh | Link to this comment | 05-28-09 8:53 PM
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Also, you're a fine one to talk, neb.

Damn straight!


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 05-28-09 8:55 PM
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You had three of a kind, neb?


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 05-28-09 9:03 PM
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182: Yeah, that's a little... weird...


Posted by: DS | Link to this comment | 05-28-09 9:30 PM
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90: known to the Zulu as hlobongo; didn't always work as a contraceptive. One of the results of its unreliability was Shaka.


Posted by: ajay | Link to this comment | 05-29-09 2:37 AM
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I don't see why girls can't auto-cock block. if a girl wants some cock, and stops herself from getting it, isn't that good enough?


Posted by: yoyo | Link to this comment | 05-29-09 2:40 AM
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188: Do you not understand the meaning of "auto"?
And....can't there be something left in the world that just guys can do?


Posted by: peep | Link to this comment | 05-29-09 6:53 AM
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can't there be something left in the world that just guys can do?

The Helicopter Dance.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 05-29-09 7:14 AM
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190: Thanks, apo. That does make me feel a little less aggrieved.

But ...This is usually done to hit someone in the face??? Do lots of people hang out in public showers with dwarves? Or is this only for people with apo-sized members?


Posted by: peep | Link to this comment | 05-29-09 7:45 AM
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For the wedding I DJ'd, the bride picked processional and recessional music. For the processional, the wedding party walked in to some major-key Bach organ stuff (my idea, actually, for contrast), and then the Beach Boys' "Wouldn't It Be Nice" started playing for the bride. She reached the main group of guests (small wedding by a lake) when "And we could be married" hit, and then I'd edited it to loop on the "ba-buh-bahs" while everyone got settled. It worked to great effect.

For the recessional, she'd picked "Be My Baby," which also worked amazingly.


Posted by: Bave Dee | Link to this comment | 05-29-09 7:54 AM
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For the recessional, she'd picked "Be My Baby," which also worked amazingly.

Probably because it's one of the three greatest songs of the last 70 years. In any context.


Posted by: OFE | Link to this comment | 05-29-09 7:59 AM
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"Hava Nagila" is good for getting people on the dance floor.

Especially the Dick Dale version


Posted by: | Link to this comment | 05-29-09 8:09 AM
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Perhaps appropriate given the lyrical content, but inappropriate given the event - "Me So Horny", 2 Live Crew. Somewhere in the world a video exists of this with my inebriated partner Steve dry humping the groom's Sicilian great-aunt (who initiated the humpage IIRC).


Posted by: KJ | Link to this comment | 05-29-09 9:34 AM
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The above consideration is smart and doesn't require any supplementary addition. It's perfect consideration from my side.
---------------
Henry Pollick
adult


Posted by: Henry | Link to this comment | 05-29-09 11:26 PM
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The above consideration is smart and doesn't require any supplementary addition. It's perfect consideration from my side.

Would you lookit that. Mouseover text from a spammer.


Posted by: DS | Link to this comment | 05-30-09 1:27 AM
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_Love Will Tear Us Apart_ in response to the post's question.

My recessional: a Kevin Saunderson, Derrick May soundscape.

I'd vote for The sequel to Bad Lieutenant, with Nick Cage, Val Kilmer, Eva Mendes, and Xzibit if I was at neh.gov.


Posted by: Econolicious | Link to this comment | 05-30-09 3:23 PM
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193: What are the other two? Is "God Only Knows" one?


Posted by: Wrongshore | Link to this comment | 05-30-09 3:36 PM
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Isn't the obvious choice for worst wedding reception song Hey, Joe by The Jimi Hendrix Experience? It is awesomely inappropriate both terms of subject matter and danceability, and it likely reminds the bride of how she really loathes the groom's stoner friends, who got invited to the wedding against her vehement protestations, and now the no-account bastards have stationed themselves next to the open bar with their sweaty armpits and loosened ties, and they're probably going to be hanging out at our house every weekend, and, OOOH, why did I agree to marry him, anyway?


Posted by: pain perdu | Link to this comment | 06- 2-09 7:33 AM
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Isn't the obvious choice for worst wedding reception song Hey, Joe by The Jimi Hendrix Experience?

Or maybe Tom Waits' "Better Off Without a Wife".


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 06- 2-09 7:54 AM
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What are the other two?

"Cherry Pie" and "Lick It Up"


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 06- 2-09 7:57 AM
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"Dress Sexy At My Funeral", as well.


Posted by: Cryptic ned | Link to this comment | 06- 2-09 7:59 AM
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