Happy anniversary to you and your sober, rosy toes!
Amen, I say to you, woot.
Looks like I fell off the wagon. Shoot.
And all my comments rhyme, to boot.
Hey, congrats, sounds like it's working great for you!
On the other hand, I kind of like drugs.
Anybody want a peanut?
Congrats and mazel tov, nice one, good show. And of course it's ok to be a dick on the internet.
Alamedia's sobriety brings families* together
*random internet people
hop, a you don't stop the rock it to the bang bang boogie say up jumped the boogie to the rhythm of the boogie, the beat?
Alameida: my anti-drug.
19: Question is, do they like you?
Happy anniversary!
you all made me feel properly remorseful for being a dick to someone on the internet. I can truly say I have never missed Ogged more.
At first, I thought this said "I can truly say I never miss Ogged anymore," meaning we've now taken over his last vital function of shaming people.
Woohoo, three years Ogged-free! Congrats!
Hm, I feel like I missed something, somewhere.
Congratulations! And when were you a dick to someone on the internet? Was it entertaining? Is there a link?
Will I never again feel all my spine filled up with shining, golden syrup and heat? But then, what am I complaining about,
You'd be complaining about the human condition... of being alive.
Not having to submit to tyranny, not having to get fucked up all the time--it really is wonderful.
Victoire!
I'm not afraid that I will throw myself over the railing with my children in my arms. I used to be afraid of that every minute of every day.
Fear sucks. I hace been there and done that, and it eats your brain. Really, drugs would be the most awesomest things if people were not scared monkeys, which would mean they didn't want to take them
Soul-crushing terrified.
That's part of that smell that Mr. & Mrs. Smack have.
On a lighter note, you all made me feel properly remorseful for being a dick to someone on the internet.
The DFH's drank your haterade?
I can truly say I have never missed Ogged more.
He's probably going to get up in the morning, put on his flip-flops and eat a bowl of granola! There, at the breakfast table to be outraged by bad fashion choices and humourless people who don't like... something. Of course, I'd bet you think this blog was a lot funnier if you were high.
max
['Congrats!']
Congratulations.
Having had the "kill self and kid" thoughts myself, I know how destructive they are. I can't imagine the terror of having them frequently, let alone daily. Congratulations, above all, for escaping that.
Happy anniversary. Here's to many more! (And post more often.)
you all made me feel properly remorseful for being a dick to someone on the internet.
I rather enjoyed that post.
And the proper response to the criticism is, of course, "the lurkers support me in email."
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Hey teo, check this out.
People were in Florida 13,000 years ago? Boy does that confuse the situation!
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Happy anniversary, and many happy returns.
Congrats. Three years is a great accomplishment. Keep it up.
Congratulations! I like sober you.
Congratulations!!! I am so happy for you.
Congratulations!! I hope you are doing something special to celebate your accomplishment -- you deserve a day of pampering!
Wow, the 'throwing self and kids over the railing' thing must have been really, really hard, given the tempting balcony of that (previous?) apartment. Dude. That deserves at least a bushel of extra kudos.
One thousand and ninety-five heartfelt congratulations, and may you have many more.
Let me be the first to offer you sincerest congratulations, Alameida.
I kind of like the idea of alamedia, but I'm not sure what that term would properly denote. A 24/7 rosy toes channel?
50: I think you shortchanged Ala about .75 of a congratulation there.
52: Dude, how am I to know where Narnia is? Nitpicker.
53: So why not err on the side of generosity, you tightwad you?
M/tch, honey, if you're sulky because there's nobody around to talk to, don't take it out on me.
Speaking of nitpicking, I should have called you a "lousy tightwad". Damn, opportunity missed.
Congratulations!
51.2: Well, "à la mode" is "in style," so "alamedia" must be "in the media." You know, like someone doing the pundit circuit.
55: But Witt, you're not nobody. And anyway I'm just sulky because you totally just jumped in there and prevented me from being the first to congratulate Alameida.
45: I do like living on the ground floor a lot better.
Praise be to allahmedia! Really, hook 'em woo to you.
Congratulations, alameida! Also, the internet is for being a dick to people. That's kind of its deal. You should not feel bad, you should feel that you have played a vital role in the natural cycle of "communication tools" vs. "tools communicating," the boundaries that define the internet experience.
I think straight man is my calling.
Story of my collegiate career.
Congrats!! Here I'll reiterate for the third year in a row that it was your sobering up series that converted me to a serial lurker on Unfogged, (although I don't think I commented for another few months.)
Congrats, O rosy toed one.
I'm so happy for you, Alameida. I'm sending blessed thoughts your way right now.
Congratulations. Many happy returns.
I miss drugs, too. Oddly enough, I never consciously intended to give them up. It just kind of happened, after my connection dried up (he found Jesus).
OTOH I never did the hard stuff like Alameida, to whom major congratulations are due.
how am I to know where Narnia is?
It's in the back of your closet, dummy.
It's in the back of your closet wardrobe, dummy.
Fixed.
Wait, the travel post was the being a dick? That really wasn't very dickish. I think you can reach greater heights of dickery if you try.
Congratulations to you, and many more to come.
A like Heebie, it was Ari's linking to an earlier anniversary post that brought me back around to reading this place semi-regularly, after having initially dismissed it as a bunch of fast-typing weirdos.
after having initially dismissed it as a bunch of fast-typing weirdos.
This is wrong because? (Also, we were talking about name-changes a little while back, and how hard they are to remember. You're fairly new commenting actively, I think, or did I forget a pseud change?)
LB has a *list*, a mental list, but a list nonetheless.
Nope I'm newish. I've commented a couple times in the past under JPool, which is what I go by elsewhere, but I figured if was going to delurk and take part every so often I might as well acceded to unfogged cultural preferences and take on a more memorable handle (especially since JRoth has seniority on me here and can type much faster than I can).
The fast typing weirdos thing isn't wrong. I generally still can't keep up with you all, but the conversations are sometimes interesting enough for me to want to pitch in anyway.
JPool
Huh. I've noticed you on other sites under that name, I'm pretty sure, although not to remember much specific. (Stick with Jimmy Pongo here -- it's a fine name -- but for any other lurkers trying to cater to my whims before they start posting, 'JPool' would have been fine as well. JamesP bothers me because I can't keep it straight from other possible Jameses, but in JPool the less common element is primary.)
This is a good thing, A. Many more years. On this anniversary this song is for you.
38: Yeah, I saw that. Amazing stuff. It's the sort of thing that really seems like it should be an obvious fake, but all the experts seem to be pronouncing it genuine.
especially since JRoth has seniority on me here and can type much faster than I can
Ha!
I remember JPool. Long live Jimmy Pongo.
85: and I love that it apparently has a depiction of a mammoth on it. I bet it got intentionally buried as a time capsule.
I have a question for the addiction experts around.
They say, in the 12 steps and so forth, that once you're a pickle, you can't go back: You can drink a little, and you're fine. But once you become *addicted*, you're an addict forever.
How do you know when you're a pickle? How pickled do you have to get for it to be permanent?
At what point does someone go from "drinking too much but will straighten out and drink normally" to "has to quit and never touch a drop again."
I say this because I'm alone with a bottle of rye and worried about how much longer I can keep this up.
88: I have no idea. But on the call-in shows, they ask "Are you seeing negative consequences of your drinking in your life?"
Carvings on mammoth bone stories remind me of that collection of tiny people bones they found on some island a couple years ago. I loved that news story.
I tried to trot out that story at a dinner party, and ended up getting roundly mocked and feeling like a gullible five year old, insisting "It's real! No it's really real!"
I bet it got intentionally buried as a time capsule.
Awesome.
"It's real! No it's really real!"
Yeah, this is the same sort of story. I remember that one, although I didn't follow it very closely and I don't know how it turned out in terms of acceptance by experts. This one seems to be getting the thumbs-up remarkably quickly and consistently.
I think the tiny bones are pretty well established. They were found on Palau which is where the Uighurs look to be headed. (Plus it was the site of a really fucked up US-Japanese island battle in WWII.)
92: Ah, reading further there were small bones found on the Indonesian island of Flores a few years earlier ("hobbits"). Controversial in how they should be interpreted.
90, etc.: I was wondering when y'all would mention the hobbits, since they were heavily featured in the news (OK, the NYT) in the past 2 weeks. Not universally accepted yet, but there are always paleoanthropologists who won't accept whatever the latest discoveries are.
Right, this was the story I loved.
88: I say this because I'm alone with a bottle of rye and worried about how much longer I can keep this up.
Questionforyou, this seems like pretty much the definition of someone who needs to not drink.
88: I'm no addiction expert, but I drink a lot of damn bourbon. My self-check has been a blend of 89 and figuring out how much time I spend actually blotto. I probably drink more than most guidelines would recommend, but I'm not too drunk to, say, thread a needle more than a couple-few times a month. If you're stumbling to bed most nights, then maybe it's an issue.
As far as the "once an addict, always an addict" thing, my anecdotal impression is that it's personality-driven. Some people are addictive personalities who need to stop cold; others can handle some social drinking (or whatever), and just need to be extra-careful (and old, dear friend is like this - she spent years and years fucked up, but has been fine for 5+ years; she has no problem drinking a glass or two of wine).
I'm alone with a bottle of rye and worried about how much longer I can keep this up
It would be tacky to wonder what "this" we're talking about here, right?
No, it would be inevitable to wonder what "this" we're talking about; it would be tacky to write about it in a comment.
"This" being just... drinking more than I should. I mean, I know it's more than a doctor would recommend. But ehtn again, the doctor also says a lot of things -- but is my drinking more like "I eat more red meat than is advisable" or is it more like "You need to stop eating all animal protein and start on a tofu and lipitor based diet."
I haven't seen negative consequences... yet. Although I bet I'd be in better shape if I drank less. Lot of calories in wine you know. And I'd sleep better.
I've seen friends get arrested for public drunkenness. I've known people to get DUI arrests. But I don't drive. I make enough to pay for my drinking. I've never gotten so blotto I've done anything I really regret. But that's mostly luck.
Mostly booze is on my mind more than I'd like. And the reasons for drinking are all the wrong reasons: Wanting to avoid reality. Wnating to avoid feelings. Wanting that warm embrace. Wanting the drama of "I'm drinking because I had a bad day."
Some days I say to myself "well, you can't keep this forever, but you can probably keep it up for the rest of your life."
Honestly, it sounds like drinking is a coping mechanism for dealing with things in your life, and is not in and of itself the problem. Sounds like you're more or less self-medicating.
101: I strongly suggest seeking professional mental health services. Tomorrow. h-g is probably correct, but that only means that you really would be happier if you did something about the underlying problems before the drinking causes even worse things.
IAMNA mental health professional, but that's my guess. I may be wrong, but at least I'm clear.
87: More good early North American time capsule shit. And this time they created a whole lake just to preserve it. ... scientists found what they believe are hunting pits, camps and rock structures called caribou "drive lines'' on the bottom of Lake Huron. It is on an underwater ridge that is believed to have last been above water 9,000 years ago.
As far as the "once an addict, always an addict" . . . it's personality-driven.
IME, this is right.
I echo 102 and 103. It definitely sounds like a problem, and it also sounds like you're ready to do something about it. Dipping your toe in the water by talking to invisible internet people is a good first step. Finding an individual therapist is always my go-to answer for the next step, but there are certainly other options. (I don't know what your health insurance is like, but if you can afford that much rye, you can afford a therapist.)
Let us know how you're doing.
the thing is, people who don't have a drinking problem usually don't think about it all that much. like, they might think, I had too much to drink the other night, I better cut back, but then they are able to do so no problem, and it just won't preoccupy them very much. devoting lots of mental energy to the question is probably an indication something has gone somewhat off the rails. but, you also might be depressed and drinking heavily for that reason, without also being an alcoholic. you can always start drinking again at any moment, so there's really nothing to lose in stopping for a while and seeing if it's hard to do. most people who end up in AA have tried to stop many times before and repeatedly failed in a way that they find personally painful and humiliating.
Also, if you are drinking to self-medicate depression, not drinking will go a long way towaard helping you climb back out of that emotional pit.
106 and 107 both seconded. If you have depression (sleep problems, days when just getting up is too much, thoughts of suicide), do not drink. For me, a tired body is a balm for an uneasy mind; not to sound like polyanna, but regular exercise helps a lot with inner equilibrium, though it does not help for real depression. Drinking to avoid feelings definitely sounds like a warning.
I think taking drugs to change your emotional state is perfectly legitimate. Why else do people want to do them? But *fleeing* deeply negative emotions is a different thing. The issue is the deeply negative emotions. Sticking with them sober might give you an incentive to change them, might not (people are perfectly capable of staying in a bad rut sober). BUt being wasted eats up huge amounts of time where you can't do anything.
My mineshaft question is: should I be worried that I'm slowly transforming into a pothead (not every day, all the time, but multiple evenings per week)? This has to do with the company I've fallen into, but also because pot seems to have very few immediately apparent negative consequences. There's eating too much, true. Also the fact that I can't read complex books when stoned, but it's not like I was spending most evenings doing that. But should I be worried?
And oh, don't put that question on the main page -- paranoid, man!
Also the fact that I can't read complex books when stoned
DFW pleads with you to stop.
I don't know much about overuse of pot really, but on a superficial level, for people I've known who I thought smoked too much pot, the pot didn't seem to be the problem -- like, I'm thinking of a friend who had a bad divorce, spent a year and a half stoned all the time, and then cut her smoking back to a normal level, no apparent harm done. Which means I wouldn't worry about it too much, but maybe think about whether there's some major non-pot problem you need to fix that the pot's helping you avoid?
but maybe think about whether there's some major non-pot problem you need to fix that the pot's helping you avoid?
Like, maybe the P = NP problem.
Pot creates a habit of passivity, IME. Spectator to your own life is a shitty way to live. An evening's recreation, great. What happened to November, not at all.
On the other hand, I was a lazy, unmotivated procrastinator before I ever tried pot, and as refreshing as it is to imagine that those problems would go away if I quit consuming it regularly, it never has turned out that way through several cycles of stopping and starting again.
116: Pot, the INFP drug. I do agree that using it a lot does tend to take one out of the cockpit seat.
Pot, the INFP drug
Hmm. That's my M-B type, actually.
On passivity and detachment, Carrie McNinch, who draws the comic-zine "The Assassin and the Whiner", has a great graphic book, called I Want Everything To Be Okay about her first year sober. She talks a lot there and in the zines that she drew while drinking about the allure of detachment and "watching your life like a movie." Substance abuse hasn't been a problem for me, but during the times when I was stumbling towards depression, that kind of detachment/passivity seemed like a really appealing out.
Pot creates a habit of passivity, IME. Spectator to your own life is a shitty way to live.
Here again, I think it depends on the person. The prevalence of pot smoking among extreme sports enthusiasts is good evidence that there is a segment of the stoner population that craves new thrills and new experiences, made all the better* because I was so high, man.
*mandatory de gustibus disclaimer
I wouldn't worry about it too much, but maybe think about whether there's some major non-pot problem you need to fix that the pot's helping you avoid?
it doesn't seem really problem-focused -- my life is probably better than it ever has been -- it's more a social circle type thing. It's always available and I'm not very good at turning it down. Related is a new romantic interest who is more or less completely addicted to the stuff.
Also, I agree on the pot passivity thing, but I also seem to finding that being a bit more passive and more of an observer agrees with me. I mean, I still prefer being sober to being stoned for most circumstances, but I sometimes have too much of an edge when sober.
What astounds me about pot is how little physical harm it seems to do. With alcohol I could actively feel it stressing my body.
123: What astounds me about pot is how little physical harm it seems to do. With alcohol I could actively feel it stressing my body.
Well, hold on: as much or more physical harm as unfiltered cigarettes, right?
(Granting that you're smoking many fewer joints than the average smoker smokes cigarettes.)
123-125: Interestingly, there doesn't seem to be an increased incidence of lung cancer among pot smokers, once you control for other factors. It will negatively affect your aerobic capacity, obviously, and in amounts larger than you seem to be taking it can decrease testosterone production (and as a result occasionally produce gynecomastia, which you don't want).
What you do need to be concerned about is cognitive function. If you're at daily or near daily use, and you keep that up, you'll almost certainly become worse at retaining new information. (After a year of daily use, I was having trouble remembering the contents of academic articles I'd read the day before. But, thankfully, it turned out that my hippocampus was able to recover by dropping back to merely weekend use.)
it's more a social circle type thing. It's always available and I'm not very good at turning it down.
This is me. I am virtually incapable of turning down a joint, but I'm barely around it at this point. But in the past, when I've hung out with social circles that smoked daily, that was my habit, too.
(Just google-proofing. Left the link there intentionally.)
occasionally produce gynecomastia, which you don't want
Sexist.
Congratulations, alameida. I'm a long-time lurker who remembers your initial sobriety post (and your "twisted on the Bay Bridge to Steely Dan" post, because I've been almost exactly there).
My dad told me several years ago that more than once, he contemplated driving off a cliff on Highway 1 with my brother and me in the car. He never got sober. I wonder how much better my childhood might have been without weekend visitation alone with my drunk, disappointed, and occasionally frighteningly vindictive father. Here's to you for making this effort, for yourself of course but also for your children.
Am I the only one who mentally prefixes "wicked" to bizzah's pseud?
125:Most smoke fewer joints than cigarettes. I have said I am unable to stop smoking pot once I start, and I meant that literally. I liked to pass out, and start again on waking up with coffee. Used to take antiasthma drugs to keep going, theophylline didn't cut the high like antihistamines.
Ahh, war stories. 25 years now. Throw a quarter pound of sense in my lap, and I might hang myself.
I remember:the theophylline would just keep the passages open but do nothing much about the irritation and resulting..I'm not sure. But after waking up I would spend about an hour coughing up viscous liquids into a paper bag. Sometimes they were pink.
Yay alameida! You write so well about that stuff, which is a bonus for the rest of us. But the main message is what a bonus it is for you.