Re: hey sexy ur a cutie. wanna chat?

1

cant hit ur wat


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 6:00 AM
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Alternately:

What's up? You mention zombies. I find that pretty much fascinating. I'm in a grad school vegetarian metal band.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 6:03 AM
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I'm thinking I like 1 better.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 6:04 AM
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holla


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 6:16 AM
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See, now there's an actually interesting and useful use of their data.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 6:57 AM
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Challah.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 7:00 AM
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The atheist v. various religions part speaks volumes about their demographics.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 7:01 AM
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3: The common terms for your preference are "water sports" and/or "golden showers", or so I have been led to believe.


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 7:02 AM
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8: that's the common term for trying and failing to punch southeast asian temples?


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 7:06 AM
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I'm just kidding. I know it's the common term for the unexpected oblique deviation of a southeast asian temple.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 7:08 AM
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1: so the one monk says, you call that accurate azimuthal alignment?


Posted by: alameida | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 7:08 AM
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Of the ideal southeast asian temple, really.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 7:08 AM
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I can't figure out who just pwned who.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 7:09 AM
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that pwned so bad my eyes are watering now.


Posted by: alameida | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 7:09 AM
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that is, I was thinking I got pwned.


Posted by: alameida | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 7:10 AM
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I find it interesting that they're datamining private messages/email.

max
['The Big Love Machine.']


Posted by: max | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 7:10 AM
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I think technically you pwnd alameida, but once we take content and style into account . . . .


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 7:11 AM
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They speak to that at a reasonable level of detail in the linked post, max.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 7:11 AM
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18: So what's your point, Sifu? Huh??


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 7:12 AM
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They could do some more fun analysis if they were willing to discard privacy. I'd like to see relative success rates by time of day. Also, you could probably figure out semantically when people were drunk. Lower hit rate or higher? Gender differences there?

It'd be fun to be OKCupid, is what I'm saying.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 7:33 AM
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So, anybody have any good egg-containing cocktail recipes to share? The other day we were making Pink Ladies here on the homefront, and the whole process was very satisfying.

Emulsions are just neat, I think? But they were also very tasty. We used real grenadine, which helped I'm sure.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 7:43 AM
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I forgot, this is the recipe we used, although we ended up having to up the amount of grenadine. We used plymouth gin.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 7:44 AM
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Sifu, this book is really great. I made many, many syrup and booze infusions etc. all summer and they ruled.


Posted by: oudemia | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 7:49 AM
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We've been trying to look up the DeGroff version of recipes where we can, but should probably just buy his book. Although actually I find myself modifying his recipes somewhat often.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 7:50 AM
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Also, we had a problem with the vigorous shaking required for the Pink Lady; the first couple we made we managed to dislodge the top of the shaker and spray gin and egg white all over the kitchen.

Can't make an omelette without coating yourself in an egg-based emulsion I suppose.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 7:54 AM
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Can immersion blenders become the new stand mixer?

Was surprised to see that a sort of faux Aviation (vodka, no Maraschino, but with the creme de violette intact) was by far the most popular drink at the fancy bar I was in Saturday night. (Oh, and this was in NJ with my mom.)


Posted by: oudemia | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 7:58 AM
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That's odd. Things are trickling down to the sticks!

Can you mix drinks with an immersion blender? That would be a fascinating development.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 7:59 AM
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27: Go try right now.


Posted by: oudemia | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 8:03 AM
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Hee! There's a thought. Unfogged cocktail hour starts now! West coast commenters not exempted!


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 8:04 AM
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The OKCupid guys are brilliant. What a good idea.

Bad news for Unfoggeders: "Literature" and "Grad School" have much lower response correlations than "Metal Band" and "Zombie". (Of course, AWB could have told you this without a study).


Posted by: PGD | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 8:07 AM
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The anti-alpha internet: "sorry", "apologize", and "awkward" have massively positive effects.


Posted by: PGD | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 8:10 AM
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This is hilarious.

In case you don't want to click on a LGF link:

This is so pathetic I don't know whether to laugh or cry. Dozens -- if not hundreds -- of right wing blogs are running with this quote, portraying it as a statement about the tea party held last weekend: 'We believe it is the largest event held in Washington, D.C., ever.'

The quote is from January. The National Park Service spokesman was talking about Barack Obama's inauguration.

WASHINGTON - The National Park Service says it will rely on a media report that says 1.8 million people attended President Obama's inauguration. David Barna, a Park Service spokesman, said the agency did not conduct its own count. Instead, it will use a Washington Post account that said 1.8 million people gathered on the US Capitol grounds, National Mall, and parade route. "It is a record," Barna said. "We believe it is the largest event held in Washington, D.C., ever."


Posted by: oudemia | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 8:13 AM
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It's Rove's use-your-opponent's-strengths strategy as farce. I was going to say I expect them to accuse Obama of disrespecting the president soon, but I think they've already done that.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 8:16 AM
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30: I don't think that's necessarily bad news for unfogged. I think zombies turn up here more often than the word "literature". I think on OKCupid the word "literature" turns up as a marker for fakes, as in "I love to read good literature," far more often than as an occupation: "I teach 20th century Czech literature at a small community college in North Dakota".


Posted by: mcmc | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 8:21 AM
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What's priceless is if you follow the links to who's running with it, you'll find that it seems to start with The American Thinker. When they're called on it by their commenters, who point out that AT's link even goes to a story about the inauguration, AT responds that it is "a technical software issue" and that they're working on it.
Ohh. A technical software issue. Well then.

Oh, and they juxtapose pictures of a tidy mall after the teabagging with messy mall post inauguration. This speaks to them some how.


Posted by: oudemia | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 8:22 AM
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34: the specificity of the terms almost certainly also plays a role. If you could get enough data to find correlations for e.g. "athenian drama" you'd probably get even higher response rates.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 8:26 AM
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Which is to say, "literature" and "grad school" are both pretty nonspecific.

That leaves "band" as an outlier, but we all know the deal with being in a band.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 8:26 AM
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36: Shh. That ad is secret, Sifu. CA can't know!


Posted by: oudemia | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 8:27 AM
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PS: I am in bed with maybe the Pig Flu!


Posted by: oudemia | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 8:28 AM
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I wonder what the OKCupid hit level for "Swine Flu" is.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 8:29 AM
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34: "While pursuing my dissertation. In between semesters I tour with my metal band, Odradek."


Posted by: mcmc | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 8:32 AM
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39 works for me every time.

Laydeez.


Posted by: JRoth | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 8:35 AM
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39: Aw yeah.


Posted by: Maybe the Pig Flu | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 8:36 AM
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Hee! You all are making me cough. My infected sputum -- let me show you it.


Posted by: oudemia | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 8:40 AM
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I teach 20th century Czech literature at a small community college in North Dakota

Oddly the community college in North Dakota only offers Spanish as a foreign language even though the surrounding area is pretty much all people of German ancestry.


Posted by: CJB | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 8:44 AM
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The Czech part is a feeble attempt to protect the anonymity of the Spanish teacher.


Posted by: mcmc | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 8:45 AM
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Okay, actually I teach courses in electrical lineworking at a small community college in North Dakota.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 8:47 AM
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The S/panish te/cher.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 8:47 AM
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I NEED TO KNOW HOW THE WORDS "GRUMPY", "CANTANKEROUS", "CURMUDGEON", "CODGER", "CRONE", and "GRIMALKIN" COMPARE


Posted by: OPINIONATED GRANDMA | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 8:50 AM
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The title of this post would be perfect if "chat" was replaced with "cyber".


Posted by: Tom Scudder | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 8:52 AM
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51

Oh, and if the question mark was omitted.


Posted by: Tom Scudder | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 8:52 AM
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50/51: I don't get it.

(Great, start 'em young.)


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 8:55 AM
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"CRONE", and "GRIMALKIN"

Somebody finally got an 80 column card.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 8:56 AM
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45: There's only one community college in North Dakota?


Posted by: Cyrus | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 8:57 AM
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54: no.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 8:58 AM
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53: ?


Posted by: JRoth | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 9:00 AM
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54: There's only one that matters.


Posted by: emdash | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 9:00 AM
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Wait your turn, JRoth, I asked a question first!


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 9:03 AM
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56: this.Trivia.4


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 9:05 AM
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54: no.

Actually kind of yes. There are several state universities that tend to have a lot of people use them like a community colleges and there are some tech schools. I believe there is only one school that would definitively be called a community college.


Posted by: CJB | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 9:05 AM
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60: huh! Some random webpage lied to me.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 9:19 AM
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huh! Some random webpage lied to me.

Some of it might depend on how broadly you define community college. Bismark State College is the only one of those that I would say is really a community college in the classic sense. The other schools are more technical colleges than community colleges.


Posted by: CJB | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 9:29 AM
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58, 59: In your face, M/lls!


Posted by: JRoth | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 9:37 AM
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63: No FAIR!!!


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 9:39 AM
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Gotta ask me questions I can parse. What is this point you speak of?


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 9:43 AM
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Wow. God totally strikes out with OKCupid.


Posted by: Populuxe | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 9:45 AM
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#7 - Consider becoming an atheist.

Damn good advice, that.


Posted by: togolosh | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 10:05 AM
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66: I never was very popular with the pagans, tbh.


Posted by: God | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 10:05 AM
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67: togolosh is into the athe-curious.


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 10:06 AM
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You know, my children, sometimes I sit around and wonder, "What if I were one of you?".


Posted by: God | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 10:07 AM
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Don't sweat it. You probably have your pick of the virgins over at eHarmony, right?


Posted by: Populuxe | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 10:08 AM
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Oh, and if anyone was wondering? Nietsche is dead, may I rest his soul.


Posted by: God | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 10:09 AM
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Populuxe is banned damned!


Posted by: God | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 10:10 AM
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Nietzsche is dead, mbuh.


Posted by: Peace | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 10:10 AM
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All we need is Love.


Posted by: Understanding | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 10:12 AM
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Then we'll have a quorum.


Posted by: Understanding | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 10:12 AM
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Did you hear the joke about Peace, Love, and Understanding walking into a bar?


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 10:13 AM
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THAT'S NOT FUNNY!


Posted by: E. Costello | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 10:13 AM
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That post depresses me. I don't get nearly that response rate.


Posted by: paranoid android | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 10:17 AM
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78: EVEN LESS FUNNY TO ME!


Posted by: OPINIONATED NICK LOWE | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 10:19 AM
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79: But isn't the post full of helpful hints to improve your hit rate?

(No, I haven't read the linked article. I'm working, people)


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 10:19 AM
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80: It just makes you want to cry, dunnit?


Posted by: E. Costello | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 10:20 AM
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81: Well, as you can imagine, I don't really talk in netspeak, and I'm already an atheist, so I don't think anything really applies.


Posted by: paranoid android | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 10:26 AM
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83: Ah. I thought maybe the article had stuff on how to say basically the same thing but in a way that generated more hits.


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 10:36 AM
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RTFA, M/tch.


Posted by: paranoid android | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 10:42 AM
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85: But, but, reading the linked article is against all our most sacred Unfogged customs. It violates the stricture against knowing what you're talking about before spouting an opinion.


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 10:47 AM
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OT: If you were going to buy a new PC laptop with a 15" screen for under $1000, what would you buy?


Posted by: eb | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 1:06 PM
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I think macbooks come under $1000 for a really basic model, and you can install Windows on them. (I did. No problems.)


Posted by: paranoid android | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 1:10 PM
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87: No clue. But while we're on the topic and people are (hopefully) giving advice on computer purchases, what's the latest word on the best netbook type computer to buy?


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 1:11 PM
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88: With the student discount, no Applecare, you can get one of the white MacBooks for $1000. But that's a 13" screen.


Posted by: Parenthetical | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 1:11 PM
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89: (hopefully)


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 1:11 PM
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90: Which turns out to be extremely serviceable. I thought I wanted a 15" screen but the MacBook has been just fine.


Posted by: Not Prince Hamlet | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 1:13 PM
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Of course, if for some reason you have to buy a copy of windows, (rather than obtaining one *ahem* elsewhere,) a macbook would be right out.


Posted by: paranoid android | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 1:14 PM
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92: Yeah, I desperately want a 13" MacBook. I have an old (6 years!) 15" PowerBook and my back is tired of lugging it around.


Posted by: Parenthetical | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 1:14 PM
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But now to the important question posed in 89.


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 1:17 PM
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I have a 13" screen. I like it and plan to keep it, but it's beyond warranty and I plan to replace the fan - which is quite loud now - either myself or send it away, either of which option requires me to have an alternative. Meanwhile, I've come to the conclusion that the screen is too small for daily use. I actually bought a 15" laptop three years ago, but it was broken out of the box, tech support was incapable of fixing it, and I just returned it to amazon and got what I'm now using from a physical store.

I am really not looking for a mac. Besides being used to PCs and ok with them, this is really a heavy PC environment. By the time I leave I might be ready to look for a newer laptop, but not right now. Plus, the prices seem higher here relative to what you can get on a pc.


Posted by: eb | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 1:19 PM
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Also, I like how asking about a 15" PC returns 13" mac recommendations.


Posted by: eb | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 1:21 PM
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97: I have no advice on the 15" PC - everyone I know who has/had one has recently switched to the new MacBooks! And those 15" PCs that I'm aware of as being recommended by friends in the past were all over $1000.


Posted by: Parenthetical | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 1:22 PM
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87: I'd find whatever Dell is selling cheap, then scour the internet for Dell discount codes and get it cheaper.

Should come in well under $1000. Spend the extra money on memory and software.


Posted by: Spike | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 1:25 PM
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The campus store here, with the educational discount, which claims to be an authorized apple store, doesn't sell a macbook for less than $1300 (Canadian, but still over $1000 US). Online, Apple shows slightly lower prices in Canada.


Posted by: eb | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 1:30 PM
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89 - I've got a Samsung NC-10, and love it. Since I've had mine, C got one from work when he needed his eee replacing, and Kid A got one from the insurance company as a replacement for *her* eee after she poured cereal on it.


Posted by: asilon | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 1:30 PM
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That is, slightly lower prices than at the campus store.

Anyway, I shouldn't have asked just now, because I have to close down my noisy laptop and go to a meeting.


Posted by: eb | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 1:31 PM
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103

Toshibas are also good. Stay away from Thinkpads and HPs.


Posted by: Spike | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 1:33 PM
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I picked it because it has nice square keys. Most I looked at were rectangular. My parents recently got a little Dell netbook (as their guest computer! They're funny. You should visit them.), and it's a nice size, nice keys, but has a very reflective screen which can make it tricky to use in the conservatory.


Posted by: asilon | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 1:33 PM
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Oh, I do like my friend's Vaio a lot. But I don't know how pricey they are.


Posted by: Parenthetical | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 1:34 PM
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103: I learned the hard way about HP. That was the brand of the computer that arrived broken. They don't seem as common around here, but Lenovo is all over.


Posted by: eb | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 1:35 PM
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92: Yeah, I desperately want a 13" MacBook.

But then they mysteriously don't connect to what seems to be a perfectly good wi-fi signal!

(Um, have I complained about this already? I have? OK, I'll shut up now.)


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 1:36 PM
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You should visit them.

Okay. What's their address?

(thanks for the advice)


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 1:37 PM
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I picked it because it has nice square keys. Most I looked at were rectangular.

Shapist.


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 1:38 PM
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But then they mysteriously don't connect to what seems to be a perfectly good wi-fi signal!

You know, I have the same problem with my ancient laptop. I have no idea what causes it. I was told once by a possibly reputable source that the metal in the Mac casing does interfere with the signal, but that doesn't really explain it.


Posted by: Parenthetical | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 1:39 PM
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111

But on the veldt rectangular keys were too small for my fingers! I'm just being practical.

My parents live in Pembrokeshire, south west Wales, near the sea. Let me know if you're passing.


Posted by: asilon | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 1:50 PM
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112

I have a 13" screen.... I've come to the conclusion that the screen is too small for daily use.

I don't agree; it's perfect for me. YMMV, of course. (And my MacBook is so much nicer than my Linux-running desktop with its 17" monitor that I never use the latter anymore [Yes, I know I could hook up the monitor to the laptop, but that's too much trouble, and then I can't sit on the couch and watch TV and read Unfogged threads simultaneously]).

Excessive use of my iPhone the last few days convinces me that 4" screens are far too small, though.


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 2:00 PM
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111: Will do! And if you're ever in Texas . . . .


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 2:05 PM
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114

Let me know if you're passing.

Things to do on my deathbed:

1: Contact asilon.
2. ...


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 2:06 PM
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The Lenovo I am currently forced to used freezes up once or twice a day. The previous Lenovo I had was much better - that one only blue-screened whenever you tried to use the Wi-Fi.


Posted by: Spike | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 2:12 PM
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Further to 113: I can stipulate "no group hugs" if that's necessary.


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 2:22 PM
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In the days of yore, wouldn't more of these comments be cock jokes? Unfogged has lost its way.

(112 s/b: I've been trying to work with 4" but it's just too hard... Laydeez.)


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 2:35 PM
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Essear, you could have made a cock joke yourself, but you had to do some sort of meta-awkward thing that will ensure no actual jokes ever appear.

Also, I think 13" is more than ample.


Posted by: Cryptic ned | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 2:39 PM
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119

Depending on the girth, of course.


Posted by: Not Prince Hamlet | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 2:40 PM
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120

Unless 13" was the girth.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 2:43 PM
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121

But I am meta-awkward! And I suck at cock jokes.


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 2:43 PM
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Where are the cockjokes of yesteryear?


Posted by: Yossarian | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 2:45 PM
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And I suck at cock jokes

There you go.


Posted by: asilon | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 3:01 PM
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124

Unless 13" was the girth.

Circumference or diameter?


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 3:04 PM
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125

Of the pee-hole?


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 3:06 PM
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126

Girth means circumference, doesn't it? Which would give you a diameter of about 4". Which won't make it easy for essear to get it in his mouth.


Posted by: asilon | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 3:06 PM
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127

Rock harder if it's sagging!


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 3:07 PM
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112: I thought I'd qualified that by saying "my daily use" but I guess not. I find it great for carrying around to libraries and archives and don't really want to give that up. But I do a lot of copying text from one window to another and don't find the screen wide enough to comfortably have multiple windows open without blocking each other. Plus, it doesn't handle things like high quality images of handwriting, for example, all that well. Part of that is because it's too old, so it struggles with any high quality visual media, but it also means you can't have that much writing on the screen at the same time. All 13" laptops are pretty much out of my budget, so it doesn't matter much.

I wouldn't go near a 17" laptop - too clunky. 14" might be ok, but I don't see many and the dimensions seem weird.


Posted by: eb | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 3:09 PM
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115: The previous Lenovo I had was much better - that one only blue-screened whenever you tried to use the Wi-Fi.

Yeah - the IBM label actually turns out to mean something.

122: Where are the cockjokes of yesteryear?

They got sucked out.

max
['Like chrome off a bumper.']


Posted by: max | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 3:09 PM
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Posted by: | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 3:15 PM
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Ok, this fan is driving me insane. And probably annoying others even more. Maybe I should just buy a cheap(er) netbook and leave this computer at home, then next year see if I can get a new laptop. But even though I've tried to sit near the loud fluorescent lights in the library, they're just not enough to drown this out. I tried to sit near the vents, but there was no power outlet.


Posted by: eb | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 3:22 PM
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128: I find that Exposé on Macs helps a huge amount with juggling lots of windows, copying things between them, etc, to the extent that I manage lots of windows much better on my laptop than on any desktop I've ever used. But again, YMMV, of course.


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 3:24 PM
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Juggling, I assume, means that they're not simultaneously visible.


Posted by: eb | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 3:26 PM
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Of course, I was aware that I was opening myself up to 123.


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 3:26 PM
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I need a new computer too. A 2-year-old dumped watermelon and juice all over mine, and it is slowly and dramatically demonstrating more and more undesirable characteristics.

I am flirting with Craigslist, and also with the Refurbished section of the online apple store. Mainly at the moment I'm backing things up like crazy and hoping to squeeze a few more months out...


Posted by: Cecily | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 3:26 PM
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But I do a lot of copying text from one window to another and don't find the screen wide enough to comfortably have multiple windows open without blocking each other.

I'm not sure exactly what you're doing, but if it's simply copying and pasting as opposed to reading in one window, typing in the other, Mac has a pretty cool feature - Spaces - that allows you to move between multiple desktops. If it's really about needing the space to have things side by side, that probably won't help, though.


Posted by: Parenthetical | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 3:27 PM
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Alt-tab works fine for me on windows to go between windows, but thanks. Anyway, I have to turn this thing off. So much for reading pdfs at the library.


Posted by: eb | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 3:31 PM
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133: Well, with the wide screen, two side-by-side files is workable. But mostly I mean overlapping windows everywhere. I have Exposé configured so I flick the mouse to the top left to get thumbnails of every window to choose among. It's fast and intuitive.

(I like this much more than multiple desktops, contra (), but it's all a matter of taste and work habits, I guess. Multiple desktops have been a feature of Unix window managers forever, but I never managed to get much out of them.)


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 3:33 PM
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A 2-year-old dumped watermelon and juice all over mine

A series of cumulatively heartbreaking beverage-on-keyboard incidents over the last year convinces me that waterproof keyboards will be the next great laptop innovation to become standardized.

Barring that, a breathalyzer chip that detects beer-breath and shuts the computer down would go far in my case.


Posted by: piminnowcheez | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 3:34 PM
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standard, not standardized. erk.


Posted by: piminnowcheez | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 3:35 PM
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In the Book of Tobit, Tobit originally had two sons, Tobias and Toshibas, but the adventures of Toshibas were lost due to scribal error.


Posted by: Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 3:38 PM
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138: I don't actually use it; the only Mac I have capable of running Spaces is a desktop so I don't really need the extra space. But I've watched a friend use them pretty neatly for various tasks, in a way that impressed me as useful. Plus, I'm a doofus when it comes to computer stuff so I don't even know why I'm attempting to be helpful!


Posted by: Parenthetical | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 3:41 PM
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142: I think it's useful for people who have a modicum of organizational skill in managing their work. But for someone like me who opens windows willy-nilly and jumps frenetically between tasks, not so much. I mean, can you imagine separating the blog threads and the work stuff on different desktops? Horrifying!


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 3:49 PM
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Still, some traditions pertaining to Toshibas were preserved orally for a time before once again being written down. By this time, though, the codex had supplanted the scroll as the preferred scribal medium.


Posted by: Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 3:49 PM
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143: But then two taps on the mouse pad and you're flipping back and forth! I like the whole hiding things aspect of it, but that's just because I'm secretive.


Posted by: Parenthetical | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 3:51 PM
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I use F9 and F10 a lot for finding/switching between windows. I am also addicted to the clipboard manager that Snark wrote to my exacting specifications. It's nice to stuff a whole bunch of text snippets into the clipboard, switch windows, and only then pull them out one by one.


Posted by: redfoxtailshrub | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 3:58 PM
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I found a seat near a power outlet at the student union where the ambient noise drowned out the laptop, but just as I was getting comfortable they kickd us out. Apparently, only half of the building is open after the lunch hours are over. Because why would you want people to have more comfortable places to sit in the late afternoon?


Posted by: eb | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 4:48 PM
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Canadians are known liberal fascists.


Posted by: Not Prince Hamlet | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 4:50 PM
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Anyway, sorry for being so dismissive, but I really do want parallel windows open. Also the ability to read facing pages on pdfs in relatively large fonts.


Posted by: eb | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 4:52 PM
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147: I feel this way about a lot of my campus, as well. Plenty of spaces outside to sit and work, but in terms of comfortable inside spaces, I think we're sorely lacking. (Don't get me started on the library's chairs, which give me a back ache in about 5 minutes.)

149: Yeah, the parallel windows thing is pretty critical for me, since many of my sources are on Google Books, so I spend a lot of time reading in one window and typing in another. I just advanced it as a possibility!


Posted by: Parenthetical | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 4:55 PM
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148: Heh. The international student orientation included a discussion of how health care is considered a right up here and how we should make sure we sign up for the provincial plan. Which I, uh still need to do.


Posted by: eb | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 5:03 PM
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So, eb, is there a USA cultural organization on your campus to provide a sense of community for people like you? Perhaps they hold mixers where they serve cheeseburgers and apple pie, and put on a cultural show each year for the locals that informs them about such US cultural touchstones as the celebutante and customary units?


Posted by: Otto von Bisquick | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 5:15 PM
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I wouldn't say I'm surprised, exactly, at the direction this thread ended up taking, but I think the OkCupid link is worthy of a bit more discussion than it got.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 5:37 PM
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This, for example:

Interesting exceptions to the "no netspeak" rule are expressions of amusement. haha (45% reply rate) and lol (41%) both turned out to be quite good for the sender. This makes a certain sense: people like a sense of humor, and you need to be casual to convey genuine laughter.

Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 5:39 PM
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Yes, it is an interesting topic. How do people who have used dating sites feel about it?

I can't imagine ever getting responses to anything, so it all seems wildly optimistic, the idea that some strategies have above-average results instead of everything being below-average.


Posted by: Cryptic ned | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 5:39 PM
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instead of everything being below-average.

Wow. That would really be something.


Posted by: paranoid android | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 5:41 PM
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Note that almost everything gets less than a 50% response rate.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 5:43 PM
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Also note that the average rate seems to be 32%.


Posted by: paranoid android | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 5:49 PM
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Probably another factor is that people using proper grammar, some of those keywords, etc. are doing a better job of finding mutually good matches, so the success rate is due to both the content of the message and the quality of the match.


Posted by: paranoid android | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 5:52 PM
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Posted by: | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 5:54 PM
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153: but I think the OkCupid link is worthy of a bit more discussion than it got.

Go back two posts before the post Becks linked and I think you will find the info on message length very interesting.

max
['Said post also answered my privacy comment, which was helpful.']


Posted by: max | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 5:54 PM
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Posted by: | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 5:54 PM
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"Messages sent by guys are, overall, only about half as likely to get replies as similar messages from women."


Posted by: paranoid android | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 6:00 PM
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I also follow the advice in the post from 161. (Though I had to learn to do that.)


Posted by: paranoid android | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 6:03 PM
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How do people who have used dating sites feel about it?

I never did live chat via dating sites, but my email response record was 15 sent, 2 dates (out of which, one wife), 1 polite decline, 12 no-response.

A friend who used the sites for a very long time said that the key was knowing something about a detail far down the person's page, and doing a very short introduction in which you deploy said knowledge about said detail and suggest in very few words talking about it further.

I went back and read my come-ons and they were all trying way too hard.


Posted by: k-sky | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 6:04 PM
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Not sure why I thought they were talking about live chat.

Anyway, I wrote a lot of wordy bullshit in my initial messages. Connecting to things people write about themselves is good. Making plays on words is not advised.


Posted by: k-sky | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 6:11 PM
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Huh. I just logged into OkCupid for the first time in a while, and it turned out someone had messaged me on August 10. I replied, but since I've since moved across the country I don't think it's going to lead to anything.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 6:24 PM
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Online dating made average-seeming guys a lot more attractive. Unfortunately, there's just about no way to represent "I am incredibly intelligent" in a profile that doesn't make a lady fear you're sort of a dick. At first, I'd respond to that type, but it eventually would end up in some sort of exchange in which he'd try to tell me I don't know anything about my field, or he'd quiz me on my ability to define a long and useless word. I ended up just responding to the guys who sounded easy (and easy-going).

On the positive side, I slept with several nice, attractive guys. On the negative side, it usually wasn't going to go anywhere good. I did spend 2.5 years with an online date who was clearly (in his profile) a mega-smart asshole, and turned out to be at least not irritatingly competitive.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 6:41 PM
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I do recall also going out with someone whose introductory message bore marks of 100% insanity. It was spelled well, though, and there was a certain musicality to it. Turns out, he was a performance artist. We had a nice time!


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 6:43 PM
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Online dating didn't end up leading anywhere serious for me, but it was fun and I met some interesting people. The advice on message length seems about right. I had the most success with the shortest messages.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 6:44 PM
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"Me teo. Send luv."


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 6:51 PM
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And it works, too!


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 6:55 PM
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How do people who have used dating sites feel about it?

I went on dates with a lot of guys who clearly wanted a woman who was smart, but not too smart. I could see it in our interaction the second they dismissed me. In the best cases they just stopped being interested, in the worst cases they got suddenly conversationally aggressive.


Posted by: Blume | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 6:56 PM
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173: Yup. A guy flirted with me on the train the other day, and a few minutes into the conversation, it got chilly at a very familiar moment. Nothing bad happened and the conversation continued, but there was a turn in the intent. This is less annoying when it's not someone you've agreed to have dinner or drinks with.

In the long run, longer emails that were actually really well-written and interesting produced the best dates, so I came to prefer them. Shorter emails that avoided pitfalls (whininess, competitiveness, asexuality) got the highest percentage of responses from me, but I went into the date often not having any idea about the guy. That's not a bad way to do it if quantity of responses and dates is what you want, but it never foretold an excellent dating experience. The longer email is a high-wire act.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 7:03 PM
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Boy, does 173 sound familiar.


Posted by: Witt | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 7:09 PM
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Sometimes it takes a few months before they realize how much it irritates them. They spend a long time trying to tell themselves they always wanted to try dating a smart woman, and it's sexist not to enjoy it, but some things are really deep. I prefer when they know they don't like it right away.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 7:15 PM
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But being smart is not that much more useful than being say physically strong or agile. Helpless geniuses are common, and not especially appealing, Why invest ego there?


Posted by: lw | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 7:29 PM
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Now that I've clicked through and read the OKC blog posts, I'm a little puzzled. Yes, they have a wealth of data, but (as their users point out in comments), it's not all for the same thing. Some people are searching for a relationship, some for quick sexual contact, and some for non-romantic friends.

Also, I think they went a little nuts with trying to analyze the efficiency of every possible interaction. Just judging from the variation I see in relationships around me, some people probably love to get a quick, breezy introduction, and others don't. I guess the premise seems a little weird to me, like saying there is an optimum length for a phone conversation, or something.


Posted by: Witt | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 7:29 PM
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To be fair, and I've been thinking about this a lot, I think quite a few intelligent people are sort of conversationally isolated. Or even if they have super-smart friends, maybe they're the sort who don't like talking in a way that demands much thought. (One of my good friends is like this; he's a total brain, but whenever anyone uses a "hard" word in casual conversation, even if he knows what it means, he accuses them of being a snob.) And people who want to be around smart people often fantasize about what that will be like without having had much experience doing it. So it doesn't necessarily matter that you're a woman (maybe it's pure sexism in some cases, but I think not always); if they met a new dude friend who challenged them intellectually in conversation it would be startling and annoying as well.

I am spoiled that my job basically consists of having the hardest conversations I can possibly participate in, all the time, with really young, curious people who aren't comparing themselves to me. So it's hard for me not to judge a guy who can't hack it when I talk about my dissertation when every day I talk to a room full of 18-year-olds, some of them not even particularly bright, who have no problem understanding, showing interest, and asking questions. If I didn't teach or spend time talking about teaching with colleagues, I think I'd feel pretty irritated by difficult conversation, too.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 7:31 PM
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When archaeologists first discovered a codex preserving the traditions of Deutero-Toshibas, they were doubly surprised to find that it wasn't bound in the usual way, but instead was held together by a helical leather thong.


Posted by: Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 7:33 PM
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Yes, they have a wealth of data, but (as their users point out in comments), it's not all for the same thing. Some people are searching for a relationship, some for quick sexual contact, and some for non-romantic friends.

Relatedely, I didn't really realize that people used OKCupid as a serious dating website until quite recently; when I was in college, we used it mainly as an amusing site to take quizzes on, and the only experience I had with it since (despite having an anonymous profile on there, somewhere) was knowing someone who had recently moved to Berkeley using it to find friends.


Posted by: Parenthetical | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 7:33 PM
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178: Yeah, the efficiency stuff is pretty silly, and the whole thing is a bit lacking in rigor. Mostly I think the lexical results are interesting, particularly in comparative terms.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 7:35 PM
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181 could explain my lack of internet dating success. Step 1: Know the websites.


Posted by: Parenthetical | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 7:35 PM
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Mostly I think the lexical results are interesting, particularly in comparative terms.

One thing I think is interesting that they didn't seem to note is the heavy class (and even somewhat racial) element to the disfavored words. This seems predictable, given that as far as I can tell OKC skews heavily toward white, highly educated geeks. Especially if people are dating aspirationally, they aren't likely to respond to messages that telegraph a lower social class.


Posted by: Witt | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 7:39 PM
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I think quite a few intelligent people are sort of conversationally isolated.

This makes sense, and it relates to some things I've noticed in my own social life recently. I've often had the experience of talking to someone about something that interests me and having the only reaction be "omg you're so smart!" Uh, thanks. It's hard to sustain a serious conversation in that situation.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 7:39 PM
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(Also, I'm confused by 177.)


Posted by: Witt | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 7:42 PM
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Most recently, of course, I've mostly been socializing with people I don't know very well, so it's hard to tell what the conversational dynamics are going to end up being (or even which people I'm going to end up talking to most).


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 7:42 PM
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And people who want to be around smart people often fantasize about what that will be like without having had much experience doing it.

Who are these people? Weird.


Posted by: Blume | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 7:48 PM
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174 : Shorter emails that avoided pitfalls ( [...] asexuality)

Out of curiosity, what do you mean by asexuality as a pitfall? I assume that "ur sexy wanna hav sex?" wouldn't have gone over well with you; do you just mean that you were looking for more understated and eloquent physical compliments? I've sent messages to 5 women so far, and all were fairly asexual.

Responses came from 3, a date was carried out with one, and a date was scheduled then canceled on me with another, with a pending offer to reschedule. 0 wives.


Posted by: Otto von Bisquick | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 7:49 PM
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I was wondering about the asexuality thing too.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 7:50 PM
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In re: the unbearable lightness of ensmartening, generalizations are pretty silly, and wrong, but that said one of the reasons the hacker scene always appealled to me was that you weren't really going to be able to hang for very long if you were a moron.

I've since come to realize that I was being snobbish and weird and self-isolating in only wanting to talk to smart people, but at a time of vulnerable immaturity it was I think rather a relief.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 7:50 PM
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179 doesn't really jibe with my experiences. Of course, I work in an entirely different field and interact with a pretty different set of people, so I'm not qualified to speak to the context AWB describes, but in general I don't see the issue as so-called "smart" people being isolated.

I think humans are extremely social and love to communicate, and all types of humans look for others who share their preferred style and mode of communication. Where it gets hard is where people feel insecure or make global assertions or judgments based on very little data.

I have done a lot of interviews in my time, both formal and informal. For me one of the true pleasures in life is hearing someone else talk about something they're passionate about, or tell a story from their life. But I'm also keenly aware that while some people will find it affirming and delightful if you respond to their story by mentioning a recent news article or a connection from your own life, other people will find that intimidating and/or will think you are showing off.

In a professional context, this is easy to handle: your job is to put people at ease. In a personal context, trying to manage the other person's reactions is exhausting, somewhat patronizing, and ultimately fruitless. Not to mention intimacy-killing.


Posted by: Witt | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 7:57 PM
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Ok, in light of the past few comments, this will seem self-congratulatory, but: I really don't get the wanting "a woman who was smart, but not too smart." I mean, I know it's a thing, I just can't identify with it.

Indeed, in my biggest regret relationship, most of the idiocy on my side came from not thinking she was smart enough - we had great physical chemistry and enjoyed each others' company, but I didn't respect her intellect (mind you, she was a fellow architecture student at CMU; in my defense, she was a freshman, a couple years behind me). Later I realized that there was more there than I'd thought, but the opportunity had passed.

Signed, Desperately Seeking an Intellectual Equal, Laydeez


Posted by: JRoth | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 7:58 PM
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Uh, I started 193 when 176 was the latest comment. Sorry.


Posted by: JRoth | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 7:59 PM
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Where it gets hard is where people feel insecure or make global assertions or judgments based on very little data.

As you can see here, here, and also here (pointing).


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 7:59 PM
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0 wives

FAIL


Posted by: JRoth | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 8:02 PM
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So hard to hit that sweet spot of exactly 1 wives.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 8:02 PM
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195: In past days, someone would have made a low-hanging fruit joke to that, you know. Missed opportunity!

In all seriousness, if it wasn't clear, I was particularly talking about someone making the global judgment of "You're so smart" based on a brief conversational exchange.


Posted by: Witt | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 8:04 PM
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If we're talking about the actual post, is the low response rate for hello, hey, and hi because those words are disfavored or because those words are common and the overall response rate isn't very high?


Posted by: eb | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 8:04 PM
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And so, by virtue of its unusual construction, the codex became known to the world as the Toshibas Notebook.


Posted by: Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 8:10 PM
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199: That's probably the case for "hey," which is just below average, and probably for "hello," which is only a little lower, but "hi" is quite a bit lower than average. Which is odd.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 8:10 PM
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178: Keep in mind they're only talking about the first message. My limited success in conversations usually came after a short first e-mail, followed by many more e-mails of increasing length.


Posted by: paranoid android | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 8:10 PM
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In past days, someone would have made a low-hanging fruit joke to that, you know. Missed opportunity!

Be the change you wish to see in the blog.

I was particularly talking about someone making the global judgment of "You're so smart" based on a brief conversational exchange.

In the cases I was mostly thinking of, at least, it wasn't just a brief conversational exchange but a repeated pattern among people who knew me pretty well.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 8:12 PM
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It has been some time since I've had a conversation where I noticed the other person getting chilly in response to my intellect. This is perhaps a result of the facts that I am (a) not on the dating market, (b) oblivious, (c) antisocial, (d) possibly not actually all that dazzlingly brilliant in conversation!


Posted by: redfoxtailshrub | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 8:12 PM
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I assume it's because partly due to the the high percentage of one-word messages. I'm assuming that they counted both "Hey, I was looking at your profile and am so jazzed to see that you like Desperate Eagles too," and "hey" in the same category. You've got to imagine that the latter ones are dragging the response rate down.


Posted by: Witt | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 8:13 PM
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wat


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 8:15 PM
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Man, I totally want to date someone who writes like 206! Is that guy single?


Posted by: Otto von Bisquick | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 8:16 PM
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204: I find people get uncomfortable, sometimes, if I mention what I do, but haven't really ever noticed it happen during the hitting on each other process.

As a side note, I got hit on today by a woman. The key to getting the ladies is apparently a frantic look while rapidly skimming a book that must be sent back to the Library of Congress today.


Posted by: Parenthetical | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 8:16 PM
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"Hi, fair maiden, I wear a fedora at all times. U?"


Posted by: redfoxtailshrub | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 8:17 PM
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I've been assuming that OKCupid is a dating site for Oklahomans, but it appears that may not be the case. Who knew?

And I'll raise JRoth: the ones I regret--one in particular--were cases where I fear in hindsight that she thought that I thought that she wasn't smart enough, when actually the problem was that I didn't think I was nearly socially whatever enough to have a chance.


Posted by: Not Prince Hamlet | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 8:17 PM
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apparently having a


Posted by: Parenthetical | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 8:18 PM
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I always use a subject line of "hi" or "hello" or occasionally "ceci n'est pas une message", because there's really nothing better to put in there. I assume they're not really counting the subject line.


Posted by: paranoid android | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 8:18 PM
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Once I got an OKCupid message from a guy who claimed to be in his mid-40s, was clearly at least in his mid-50s. It was extremely long, he was bending over backwards to demonstrate how cultured he was, and the verbiage was way heavy on the superlative adjectives. He also made the unfortunate claim that he is "excruciatingly fun in the sack."


Posted by: Blume | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 8:19 PM
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Is that guy single?

No!


Posted by: Blume | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 8:19 PM
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209: boy did that not work for me in 8th grade.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 8:21 PM
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I always use a subject line of "hi" or "hello" or occasionally "ceci n'est pas une message", because there's really nothing better to put in there.

"wat"


Posted by: redfoxtailshrub | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 8:21 PM
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You should know that I feel that you can trust that I sympathize with the cases you mention, that I hear, where you fear in hindsight that she thought that you thought that she wasn't smart enough.


Posted by: paranoid android | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 8:21 PM
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214 to 213.last.


Posted by: | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 8:22 PM
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Whatever, Mr. Grammar Person. My reminiscences are cringeworthy enough that getting called on a God-awful sentence is just background noise.


Posted by: Not Prince Hamlet | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 8:24 PM
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It's okay, NPH, paranoid android just thinks that you think that he thinks he's too smart for you.


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 8:26 PM
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Neil, that's a fabulous sentence.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 8:27 PM
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Neil?


Posted by: Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 8:29 PM
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The asexuality thing:

A lot of dude's profiles talk about soulmating, wondering who God has picked out for them, or whatever. Or their prose reflects a total unembodiedness, a lack of flirtation. I'm not talking about someone who says, "You are pretty" or "Would you like to have intercourse?"--that's repellent--but someone whose profile or message communicates some level of interest in physical intimacy is good.

I haven't been on an internet date in a long time, but when I was doing it, it was at least with the hope that I might get laid. I had plenty of nice dates with guys that didn't turn into anything physical, but it was more because there wasn't chemistry than that they seemed... inert. Maybe sexually inert is a better way of describing it than asexual?


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 8:29 PM
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RTFA


Posted by: Not Prince Hamlet | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 8:29 PM
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I wear a fedora at all times.

Man, I shamelessly hit on men who wear fedoras. Unfortuantely, they are almost always much, much older, and thus not actually romantic prospects.


Posted by: Witt | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 8:30 PM
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224 to 222.

[Not Prince Hamlet ---> NPH ---> Neil Patrick Harris.]


Posted by: Not Prince Hamlet | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 8:30 PM
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"excruciatingly fun in the sack."

This squicks me badly. Oof.


Posted by: oudemia | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 8:31 PM
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I keep forgetting that Witt's not male.


Posted by: paranoid android | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 8:31 PM
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The first time I sent someone a message on OKCupid it led to a series of ten or so long, highly entertaining messages being exchanged with a funny, brilliant woman. But she stopped writing back; maybe I was boring. She lived hundreds of miles away, anyway, having lied about location in her profile. But damn, was she smart, and later I stumbled upon a hilarious but now-defunct blog she wrote. Further attempts to use the site have been less entertaining. Though I did get a potentially promising message a couple of weeks ago, which I haven't responded to because ugh, no free time whatsoever lately, when in town.

This comment has been brought to you by time-zone-confused insomnia.


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 8:32 PM
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excruciatingly bad in the sack

OK, that's the best I could do.


Posted by: paranoid android | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 8:33 PM
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Does everyone here use Ok Cupid?


Posted by: Parenthetical | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 8:33 PM
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I could be a gay man.


Posted by: Witt | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 8:34 PM
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I'm not talking about someone who says, "You are pretty" or "Would you like to have intercourse?"--that's repellent

Well, sure. But combine the two -- now you're getting somewhere!


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 8:34 PM
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No.


Posted by: Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 8:34 PM
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I've had several conversations suddenly end for no apparent reason. Quite annoying. Makes me (ever so) slightly more insecure.


Posted by: paranoid android | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 8:34 PM
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Standpipe's comments make me wish that the Toshibas I saw at Staples this afternoon weren't all 17" laptops.


Posted by: eb | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 8:34 PM
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The whole message was pretty squicky.

I have since seen the dude at the theater (hello small city), clearly on a date. Eeeew.


Posted by: Blume | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 8:35 PM
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231: no.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 8:36 PM
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I've had several conversations suddenly end for no apparent reason.

After a few emails, a few conversations, a few dates, a few years... as Megan has wisely said, there is absolutely nothing anyone can ever say that always means what the English words "I will call you" appear to mean.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 8:38 PM
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men who wear fedoras...are almost always much, much older

Hm. I can't remember the last time I saw a real living man wearing a fedora who wasn't much younger than I and trying to work either a Drudge/young republican/bowtied geek look, or an androgynous urban youth/Michael Jackson kind of look. Either of which would put them out of the running for an entirely different reason than yours.


Posted by: | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 8:38 PM
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231: "Use" is a strong word. have had an account for years, only exchanged messages with a handful of people, no dates came out of it.


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 8:38 PM
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Library of Congress today

Hey, what's your call number? Interested in a little HQ 801?

(Yes, I've made a similar joke before.)


Posted by: eb | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 8:38 PM
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oh crap, that was me at 240


Posted by: piminnowcheez | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 8:38 PM
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231: We're basically the target demographic.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 8:38 PM
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Wow, iPhone completes "quasi-" to Quasimodo.


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 8:40 PM
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240: Around here it's mostly black men aged 60+.

androgynous urban youth/Michael Jackson Hott.


Posted by: Witt | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 8:40 PM
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I really like the match percentage dealy. It allows me to disqualify broad swaths of potential dates with almost no effort or time spent at all. This has done wonders for my sex life.


Posted by: paranoid android | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 8:41 PM
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My Okcupid profile displays a lot of neuroticism, IIRC.


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 8:43 PM
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Why don't old black men want to date you, Witt?


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 8:43 PM
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I see 248, I think I'm sitting on a gold neologism, I think "no way dude, that's been thought of." The latter impulse is correct.

At least I've helpfully made things explicit.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 8:45 PM
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This reminds me that I need to call someone I met via my ostentatious reading of a Philip K. Dick novel on the bus. A week later is not past the statute of limitations for this, is it?


Posted by: Criminally Bulgur | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 8:46 PM
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251: like, aloud? Otherwise I'm not sure I understand how one would make the reading of a sci-fi novel on the bus ostentatious.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 8:47 PM
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251: Will the evening involve electric sheep?


Posted by: eb | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 8:48 PM
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251 is how I met the guy in 174.1, except train and different novelist. It was going well for a few minutes, but I'm glad we figured out our differences before he got off the train. We shook hands and smiled warmly.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 8:49 PM
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I'm not sure I understand how one would make the reading of a sci-fi novel on the bus ostentatious.

Hold it up to your face and occasionally peek out from it to make sure people are noticing. Requires a large book with a garish dustjacket.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 8:49 PM
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252: Exclaiming "Man, I love Dick! I can't get enough!" usually gets the point home. Works for any author.


Posted by: Cryptic ned | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 8:49 PM
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A week later is not past the statute of limitations for this, is it?

Hell no.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 8:50 PM
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Because they grew up in a different era. Old white guys either shamelessly hit back, or ignore me. Old black guys are just that slight, noticable bit more measured.


Posted by: Witt | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 8:50 PM
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Some really theatrical page turning and silent-film-style facial expressions, maybe.


Posted by: redfoxtailshrub | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 8:51 PM
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250 reminds me: Last summer our nonprofit threw a fancy dinner as a fundraiser at the home of a local nursery owner. His house's style was basically "what the future looked liked to people in the early 1970s". Sort of Star Trek Deco architecture and furninshings.

Just a week or so ago I ran into the guy who bartended the event, and we were reminiscing about the decor, and he said, "oh yeah, we call that High Tack".


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 8:51 PM
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255: won't people just think you're hiding?


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 8:51 PM
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255 is immensely more entertaining if one has recently ridden a trolley line frequented by university students.


Posted by: Witt | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 8:53 PM
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259: While playing a small concertina.


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 8:54 PM
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won't people just think you're hiding?

The conversation actually began, "Why are you so scared of . . . the book by that guy"?


Posted by: Criminally Bulgur | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 8:54 PM
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Because they grew up in a different era.

An era when responding to flirtation was somewhat more problematic, it's true.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 8:54 PM
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Get a special dust jacket made with a picture of your face on it. Or only read books that you can hold in this way.


Posted by: Cryptic ned | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 8:55 PM
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Criminally Bulgur in action.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 8:56 PM
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A woman I met in a laundry room at a hostel noticeably (positively) changed her manner towards me when I joked that the machines - there were only a few and I had been periodically checking in to see if her wash was done so I could start my laundry - were taking so long that she'd be done with the whole Proust novel (I can't remember how I referred to it, but she was reading Swann's Way) by the time she was done. Then when I was putting in my laundry and she was beginning her wait for her clothing to dry, I caught out of the corner of my eye her glancing at the book I'd been reading and saw her make a sort of puzzled/grimace expression. The book was Christ Stopped at Eboli; I wasn't reading it to be obscure - it was recommended by Lonely Planet Italy. Honest!


Posted by: eb | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 8:56 PM
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I think the serious and contemplative look is preferred. And I suppose ostentatious isn't quite the right word. You want people to be able to tell that you're reading Sartre or Dick or whoever, but you don't want it to be too obvious that your showing off that you're reading Sartre or Dick or whoever. If you're at the cafe doing this and smoking Gitanes or the like you need to leave the packet on the table so people know you're smoking Gitanes or the like. Etc. etc. etc.


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 8:57 PM
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269: and if you can be riding a Vespa while reading as well, so much the better.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 8:58 PM
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Hey, what's your call number? Interested in a little HQ 801?

Immensely funny. I'm just glad that I've read enough HQ books to fully get the joke.

On my way home from a quick jaunt to the grocery store, I noticed that the church on my street's sign reads: "Spanking: A Form of Love?"


Posted by: Parenthetical | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 8:58 PM
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Sometimes it's fun to deliberately hold and move around a book with the cover down or the spine facing towards you and watch people try while trying to look like they're not trying to read the title.


Posted by: eb | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 9:02 PM
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I bet I could put a whole book in my mouth.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 9:03 PM
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I very rarely see someone reading a book ostentatiously on the bus. The last one was probably a guy reading this. No takers.


Posted by: Cryptic ned | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 9:04 PM
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193

Ok, in light of the past few comments, this will seem self-congratulatory, but: I really don't get the wanting "a woman who was smart, but not too smart." I mean, I know it's a thing, I just can't identify with it.

Makes perfect sense to me. You want a woman who is smart enough to properly appreciate your brilliance but not so smart that she isn't impressed.


Posted by: James B. Shearer | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 9:14 PM
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Uh-oh, Shearer needs to go back and read that thread in which KR got his butt kicked by Fleur for saying he was smarter than her.


Posted by: Witt | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 9:18 PM
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188

Who are these people? Weird.

Smart kids at bad schools for example.


Posted by: James B. Shearer | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 9:19 PM
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I used OKC for like 9 years. Not for dates though. In fact, when I realised that the whole thing had turned into some weird drama meatgrinder thing, I decided to bail for awhile. I only went on one date, and that was because the young lady decided that she needed a date, so therefore she decided to inviegle me into something like a date that wasn't really, but really was, apparently. That didn't work out well.

People really don't react well to 'just here for friends'.

Also I have fedora (well, really a trilby) formerly worn by an old black man, but it needs a cleaning and reshaping.

max
['Online dating: not really worth it.']


Posted by: max | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 9:19 PM
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Also I have fedora

Now you tell me.


Posted by: Witt | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 9:21 PM
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smart enough to properly appreciate your brilliance but not so smart that she isn't impressed.

I don't think someone being "so smart" necessarily means that that person would not appreciate someone else's intelligence. I guess it depends on what you mean by appreciate and how you evaluate intelligence (competitively, for instance). And of course, how you regard yourself.


Posted by: eb | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 9:27 PM
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To follow on 280, I'm not particularly brilliant, and there are plenty of much smarter people than I out there, and routinely, I find myself unimpressed.


Posted by: Parenthetical | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 9:31 PM
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276

Uh-oh, Shearer needs to go back and read that thread in which KR got his butt kicked by Fleur for saying he was smarter than her.

Refresh my memory. Was Fleur mad because she thinks KR isn't smarter than her, because of the way he phrased it or because she thought he shouldn't have been publically rating her intellect?


Posted by: James B. Shearer | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 9:34 PM
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All three, IIRC.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 9:36 PM
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281

To follow on 280, I'm not particularly brilliant, and there are plenty of much smarter people than I out there, and routinely, I find myself unimpressed.

But I would expect you are more likely to be impressed than if they are much dumber than you.


Posted by: James B. Shearer | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 9:38 PM
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279: Now you tell me.

What?

281: To follow on 280, I'm not particularly brilliant, and there are plenty of much smarter people than I out there, and routinely, I find myself unimpressed.

The appearance of intelligence and actual intelligence are different things, and also both overrated as a single determinant of.... of.... worth.

max
['But try telling that to... ah, never mind.']


Posted by: max | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 9:46 PM
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279: Now you tell me.
What?

Feh: wat

max
['Wat Smedley, bookseller and amateur thespian, descendent of Wat Tyler, and the real author of 7 lines in one of Shakespeake's plays.']


Posted by: max | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 9:54 PM
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285: It's not so much intelligence that's important as mental whateverness curiosity and willingness to entertain ideas and follow threads of thought to new places. Or maybe that is intelligence.

Still not getting back to sleep, and I have to give a talk today. This is not going to go well. Luckily, it doesn't matter muh anyway.


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 10:03 PM
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it doesn't matter muh anyway.

wat?


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 10:05 PM
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curiosity and willingness to entertain ideas and follow threads of thought to new places. Or maybe that is intelligence.

That fits my definition. Amassing knowledge is another facet of it, but not the most important. But I read the damn mental whateverness thread and there's no need to revisit that!


Posted by: Parenthetical | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 10:07 PM
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wat

Ya cant hit, realy, luv.

Curious what physics tattoes you mention. Pretty sure noticed that your name vegetarian literature. Good taste. Atheist? Christian? Jewish? Muslim? Cool.


Posted by: Witt | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 10:07 PM
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Seeking mutual, equal relationship with persons in power. ROYALTY ONLY.


Posted by: wat tyler | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 10:10 PM
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Amassing knowledge is another facet of it, but not the most important.

Amassed knowledge seems to be what my interlocutors tend to have in mind when they do the "omg you're so smart!" thing. It's true that I know a lot of stuff, but I really don't think it's that big a deal (or that it necessarily indicates anything about my intelligence overall).


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 10:10 PM
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standpipe is on fire, people. this is golden age blogging.


Posted by: alameida | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 10:13 PM
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I ultimately made my husband choice partly on the grounds that I thought he was the smartest among the group of three guys in contention. naturally there were other factors, but it was actually pretty important. husband x is smarter than a crazy linguist and a crazy logician. hmm, plus, less crazy. it's win-win.


Posted by: alameida | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 10:16 PM
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Nomination: Best second sentence of a Wikipedia entry.

Knowledge of Tyler's early life is very limited, and derives mostly through the records of his enemies.

Posted by: Witt | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 10:20 PM
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I was disappointed that "See also: Fobbing" led to an article about a place.


Posted by: eb | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 10:28 PM
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essear's OKC profile: located! Now I can finally say that I don't think we knew each other in college.


Posted by: Otto von Bisquick | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 11:02 PM
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Oh god. Am I going to have to delete my profile to keep you people from reading? I haven't looked at it in ages. It's probably embarrassing.


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 11:08 PM
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298: You should link to it first. Then we'll tell you whether it's delete-worthy. It's the most logical way.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 11:12 PM
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Less embarrassing than mine, I'd say.


Posted by: Otto von Bisquick | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 11:13 PM
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I'm really terrible at stalking people on OK Cupid, it turns out.


Posted by: Parenthetical | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 11:15 PM
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One embarrassing thing is I've almost completely forgotten any details of the book I took the username from.


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 11:16 PM
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I found neb's profile, the last time OkC came up here.


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 11:18 PM
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I will tell you, the name CuteNerd does little for me.


Posted by: Parenthetical | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 11:19 PM
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My profile, meanwhile, probably tries way too hard to make me seem much more bubbly and friendly and fun than I really am. I cringe when I look at all those exclamation points. In my defense, I haven't updated it since I wrote it last year.


Posted by: Otto von Bisquick | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 11:22 PM
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I don't know why that's a defense, exactly. It's OK to have been a tool only one year ago?


Posted by: Otto von Bisquick | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 11:25 PM
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What is the statute of limitations on toolish prose?


Posted by: Otto von Bisquick | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 11:26 PM
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I'm getting better at the stalking. Otto, your profile isn't toolish.


Posted by: Parenthetical | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 11:26 PM
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That site isn't very iPhone-friendly. Can't get the search-by-location to work.


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 11:28 PM
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Ok, now I feel guilty for stalking. Someone absolve me.


Posted by: Parenthetical | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 11:30 PM
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310: You're absolved. I think I successfully stalked you a while back on facebook, not that it was particularly hard.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 11:35 PM
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Thanks, Stanley. And no, my identity is not much of a secret.


Posted by: Parenthetical | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 11:36 PM
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Wait, now I feel the need for absolution. Is there no end to the madness?


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 11:36 PM
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I enjoy long stalks on the beach.


Posted by: eb | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 11:37 PM
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Everyone's absolved! Plenary indulgences all around! As soon as the coin in the coffer rings, the soul from purgatory springs!


Posted by: Otto von Bisquick | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 11:38 PM
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Wait, now I feel the need for absolution.

You are forgiven, my child.


Posted by: Parenthetical | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 11:38 PM
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Now I can stalk Stanley all I want!


Posted by: Parenthetical | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 11:42 PM
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317: It's a difficult penance, but I'll make it through.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 11:45 PM
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We need to build that Cathedral in Rome, guys. Stalk away, then pay up!


Posted by: Otto von Bisquick | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 11:49 PM
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Rome already has a cathedral. I'm just saying this because I have no profile, no username, and consequently, no ability to stalk.


Posted by: eb | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 11:52 PM
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They're not hard to make, eb. (Is it sad to admit that I made one specifically for stalking? I couldn't remember my previous user name or password.)


Posted by: Parenthetical | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 11:53 PM
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If I cross that line, I'll start writing things like, "im rdng yr prfl haha lol, u want chat now?"


Posted by: eb | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 11:56 PM
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You are far more honorable than I.


Posted by: Parenthetical | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 11:57 PM
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Plus, added bonus, quizzes for when one is bored.


Posted by: Parenthetical | Link to this comment | 09-15-09 11:59 PM
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I use the quizzes to determine when I'm bored?


Posted by: eb | Link to this comment | 09-16-09 12:01 AM
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Yes. If you're taking one, you're bored.


Posted by: Parenthetical | Link to this comment | 09-16-09 12:01 AM
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It's as if the questions themselves don't matter.


Posted by: eb | Link to this comment | 09-16-09 12:04 AM
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I'm disappointed that I can only attribute getting hardly any responses on OKC to my always opening with "Hi".

Also, I thought "awesome" was considered over-used. I'm a little surprised it gets such high marks.


Posted by: briefly visible | Link to this comment | 09-16-09 12:37 AM
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re: 188

My Dad, for a start. He's extremely intelligent, and very well read, but he left school at 15 and has no formal education. 99% of the things he's interested in are way over the head of 99% of the people he interacts with on a regular basis. He jumps at the chance to be around, and talk to, smart people but isn't socialised to the sorts of situations that someone who has spent a lot of time in formal education would be.


Posted by: nattarGcM ttaM | Link to this comment | 09-16-09 12:41 AM
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309:Ya cant hit, realy, luv.

It's three o'clock in the bloody morning. I was previously almost asleep for two hours. wat?

309: Curious what physics tattoes you mention. Pretty sure noticed that your name vegetarian literature. Good taste. Atheist? Christian? Jewish? Muslim? Cool.

{sniffs sadly} My favorite OKC profile, a piratanical epic that achieved the nirvana of total uselessness (since three people actually laughed at it, but exactly zero people actually got it and said so) is sadly tucked away on a CD somewhere that's been missing for a year. Clearly, since I have a headache and can't concentrate, I should look for it, since I obviously won't be asleep anytime soon. Gah.

max
['Nice shoes though.']


Posted by: max | Link to this comment | 09-16-09 1:23 AM
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sorry about the insomnia, max. it's really hot and muggy here in mid-afternoon singapore, if that makes you feel any better.

[though I can't imagine why it would]


Posted by: alameida | Link to this comment | 09-16-09 1:29 AM
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My Dad, for a start.

This makes sense. Now that I think of it, my Dad also seems pretty hungry for intelligent conversation. He's social, and talks to a lot of people every day for his job, but he doesn't have many outlets for more than social chitchat.

I still don't think I'd say he fantasizes about talking to smart people.


Posted by: Blume | Link to this comment | 09-16-09 5:01 AM
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re: 332

It's a fairly perennial topic with my Dad, his lack of real intellectual contact on a regular basis, so while 'fantasize' might be the wrong word it's definitely something he's hungry for.


Posted by: nattarGcM ttaM | Link to this comment | 09-16-09 5:16 AM
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My mom is a great example of someone who desperately needs intelligent, curious friends. She's constantly recommending movies and books to the women she knows, who either ignore her or try them out, only to berate her for enjoying anything morally or aesthetically complex. My dad will occasionally watch an interesting movie with her, but absolutely refuses to talk about it afterward. So after decades of this, she's become ashamed of her non-churchy interests, and freaked out whenever I introduce her to someone with a postgraduate education.

Whenever I think about how intensely she defended my right to get as much education as I could, even back when we had a relentlessly hostile relationship, I'm amazed and grateful. We were evangelical conservatives, but nothing was ever censored in our house, especially books and music.

I've suggested that she take a course at the local (excellent) community college, but she is too embarrassed. I keep telling her that, as a teacher, I adore students like her. But maybe she'll wait until she's really old before she decides she actually needs intelligent conversation.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 09-16-09 5:38 AM
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(That's not, of course, to say that intelligent conversation can't happen outside of college-educated people, but she is, for some reason, surrounded completely by people who take a "moral" stand against education, critical thinking, etc. No joke--the new pastor of their church prays public prayers that the young people of the church will be able to withstand the Satanism of their college professors, or else choose not to go to college.)


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 09-16-09 5:42 AM
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He has a few bright, intellectually engaged friends: there's a gay couple in the village that he occasionally socialises with who are, iirc, both degree educated, and he has a couple of younger friends [my age] that he's friendly with who have an interest in film and music. But I don't think any of those people really read the same sorts of things he likes -- anthropology, philosophy, popular science, etc -- so while he can have the occasional non-stultifying conversation, he can't really engage with the things he really likes anything like as often as he would prefer.


Posted by: nattarGcM ttaM | Link to this comment | 09-16-09 5:50 AM
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336: How calm is his voice though?


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 09-16-09 6:08 AM
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Pretty damn calm except when uttering the dread words, "M/tch M/lls".


Posted by: nattarGcM ttaM | Link to this comment | 09-16-09 6:24 AM
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With Scottish speakers, you can actually hear the difference in pronunciation between "M/tch M/lls" and "M\tch M\lls".


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 09-16-09 6:34 AM
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99% of the things he's interested in are way over the head of 99% of the people he interacts with on a regular basis

My brother-in-law is like this.


Posted by: lw | Link to this comment | 09-16-09 6:46 AM
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I'm disappointed with every one of you for commenting further after 235.


Posted by: JRoth | Link to this comment | 09-16-09 6:51 AM
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My mother is a little like ttaM's dad, although her social isolation is more imposed by shyness and self-doubt than by geography. The part that kills me is that her hunger for intellectual stimulation without some of the mental tools conferred by education have lead her to pursue lots of intellectual-ish subjects passionately: numerology, astrology, "metaphysics," which really means new age spiritual/pseudo-science claptrap, and the like. And she has a real chip on her shoulder about it should you ever suggest these pursuits are questionable in any way.


Posted by: piminnowcheez | Link to this comment | 09-16-09 6:55 AM
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re: 342

Yeah, my Dad isn't interested in pseudo-science, mysticism or religion, but he does often have quite idiosyncratic or eccentric [although sometimes very interesting] takes on topics because his reading is often very partial, and isn't subject to the kind of feedback and reinforcement you get if you are regularly interacting with other people who are interested in the same topic. He does enjoy arguing with me about them, though, so he doesn't really have a chip about it.


Posted by: nattarGcM ttaM | Link to this comment | 09-16-09 7:03 AM
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My best friend in HS was - kind of - like this. We met sophomore year, and he was one of the "smart kids," but he was also in the process of throwing that all away in a self-destructive response to his ex-Navy dad walking out on him and his mom (of course, he ended up going into the Navy himself).

But anyway, he and I hit it off, for a variety of anti-social reasons*, but mostly because we were both intellectually curious in a way that most of our peers weren't. As we were high schoolers, a lot of it was in now-embarrassing topics, but the point was that it was frankly driven by wanting to know stuff, and also fairly quick wit. But he developed this inferiority thing because he was sure he wasn't as smart as I was (he probably wasn't, but I never noticed - he kept up in conversation). This didn't matter much in HS, but I think helped estrange us when he got out of the navy (it didn't help that I'd gone from conservative to liberal while in college, but that was kind of incidental). I suspect the navy encouraged him to be less intellectual than he was otherwise inclined to be.

* in our senior class picture, with ~350 kids, we're the only pair looking at each other, not the camera - too busy talking about whatever


Posted by: JRoth | Link to this comment | 09-16-09 7:18 AM
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I've never used OKCupid, although reading this thread makes me want to start. My online dating record: one person met through match.com, which led to a couple dates but the relationship fizzled out before getting serious or even physical. One person met through craigslist, same result. In both cases, IIRC, she made first contact, replying to my profile or ad rather than the other way around. There have also been a few (definitely one, and I think there have been more than that) correspondences that went back and forth a couple times but ended before we got as far as meeting in person.

Hmmm. Maybe I just need to try more.

330: Puritanical? Piratical? Either of which could be a very interesting theme for a dating Web site profile. The former, though, would not be interesting in the sense of "appealing for a potential date."


Posted by: Cyrus | Link to this comment | 09-16-09 7:24 AM
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344: Interesting, I have a nearly identical story, although my friend went into the army instead of the navy, and it was most definitely the racism and homophobia reinforced by his army experience that estranged us. He recently contacted me on Facebook after many years, only he called it "Fagbook," and I haven't quite felt up to a reunion.


Posted by: piminnowcheez | Link to this comment | 09-16-09 7:24 AM
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345: Puritan dating profiles?

"My righteous life has made me strong in the sight of God and free from the French malady... ladies."


Posted by: ajay | Link to this comment | 09-16-09 8:06 AM
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I met my current GF through a Craigslist ad asking for someone who was outwardly respectable/responsible but lazy, hedonistic, a freak in bed, and liked to take a lot of drugs. It's working out pretty well.


Posted by: George Washington | Link to this comment | 09-16-09 8:22 AM
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"My righteous life has made me strong in the sight of God and free from the French malady... ladies Goodeez."


Posted by: oudemia | Link to this comment | 09-16-09 8:25 AM
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348: I'm not sure "outwardly respectable" is how I would describe you, apostropher. The rest is accurate though.


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 09-16-09 8:48 AM
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349: Ha!


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 09-16-09 8:51 AM
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344.* is a truly lovely detail.


Posted by: k-sky | Link to this comment | 09-16-09 8:52 AM
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352: Thanks, I always liked it. What we said at the time was, "Oh, so these are our peers." I was honestly surprised at how many I didn't recognize. It wasn't a huge number, but then 350 kids isn't that many to keep track of. You'd think they'd all look at least passingly familiar.


Posted by: JRoth | Link to this comment | 09-16-09 8:56 AM
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349 -- Seeking a Puritan MILF?


Posted by: CharleyCarp | Link to this comment | 09-16-09 8:59 AM
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354: should be a GILF, surely?


Posted by: ajay | Link to this comment | 09-16-09 9:08 AM
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Goody gets all the attention, but what about poor Chastity?


Posted by: JRoth | Link to this comment | 09-16-09 9:11 AM
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350: He cleans up surprisingly well, and I've yet to see him at a loss for words.


Posted by: dob | Link to this comment | 09-16-09 9:29 AM
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357: Is he still growing his hair out?


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 09-16-09 9:32 AM
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A freak in bed? He just lay there asleep!


Posted by: asilon | Link to this comment | 09-16-09 9:34 AM
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359: Well what do you expect when you slip a fella rohypnol, asilon?


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 09-16-09 9:36 AM
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(Apo and I shared a hotel room. C didn't realise until about 6 months later that we didn't actually share a bed. Seriously, I don't know what sort of lady he thinks I am.)


Posted by: asilon | Link to this comment | 09-16-09 9:38 AM
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361: C probably read the f*&king archives.


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 09-16-09 10:16 AM
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The internet has done a lot for people with unusual interests who live in remote areas.

I think back to when I was a young person living in West Virginia and how isolating it was. The internet has changed that. I am still physically isolated, because the big interests for most people around here seem to be reality television and NASCAR, but at least I have friends on the internet, some of whom I call and talk to every day.

One of the all-time worst reasons for getting a History MA: I wanted to be intellectually engaged and knew that the framework of a graduate program would provide me with a model for future personal research on the things in which I am interested. But it was my money and time to waste, so I don't mind. It does freak people out at work rather badly, though. I'm now getting my MBA, and for some reason they are far, far more supportive of that. They can understand someone wanting to make more money; someone wanting to learn things that have no immediate monetary value is not something they can grasp.

The very fact that they cannot wrap their minds around the concept that someone would get an education for any reason other than to make money is something of an indictment of the way we view that dang book learnin'.


Posted by: winna | Link to this comment | 09-16-09 10:46 AM
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Winna!


Posted by: Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 09-16-09 11:02 AM
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[Time zone shifting]
331: sorry about the insomnia, max. it's really hot and muggy here in mid-afternoon singapore, if that makes you feel any better. [though I can't imagine why it would]

Ah, no biggie. The sad part is that I hate continually-overcast-due-to-coalstacks-belching-shit-into-the-sky-two-states-away-weather (even if it is momentarily warm) and I actually like hot and muggy, as long the sun has an opportunity to give me cancer. Oh, well.

345: 330: Puritanical? Piratical?

Piratanical! It's like piracy, but involves a lot more raving insanity!

max
['Sorta post-modern, if you will.']


Posted by: max | Link to this comment | 09-16-09 11:18 AM
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You realise that every time I schlep up and down a stair that has a Standpipe Bridgeplate I always have to shout 'Standpipe Bridgeplate!' which is awkward when there are other people in the stair.

But it is a stern duty! I must persevere!


Posted by: winna | Link to this comment | 09-16-09 11:19 AM
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Well, dammit. If I'd realized C was okay with that, I surely would have suggested it. It was a cold December.

(I still have not cut my hair, M/tch.)


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 09-16-09 11:24 AM
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Seriously, I don't know what sort of lady he thinks I am.

No sort, apparently.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 09-16-09 11:25 AM
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One of the all-time worst reasons for getting a History MA: I wanted to be intellectually engaged and knew that the framework of a graduate program would provide me with a model for future personal research on the things in which I am interested. But it was my money and time to waste, so I don't mind.

That's not one of the worst reasons for getting a history MA, it's one of the best!


Posted by: redfoxtailshrub | Link to this comment | 09-16-09 11:25 AM
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369: If the total list of reasons is short enough, you could both be right!


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 09-16-09 12:48 PM
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So I think I totally just biffed a flirt. Cute dorky prof at my new job came in today and we made conversation about how my diss interacts with his field, and I asked him a ton of questions; he was helpful. Then, suddenly, he says, "It reminds me of something I read in this Nige/rian book I bought last night. I was up reading it until really late; I think I really like Nige/rian lit!"

I'm all ZOMG! I LOVE NIGE/RIAN LIT! I studied it in college! It turns out the book he bought was by an author too new for my college reading; I haven't yet gotten a chance to read it, though I want to.

On my walk home, I remembered that yesterday, he attended a workshop I hosted in which I happened to tell an anecdote about something my Nige/rian Lit prof did in class that had a profound effect on me and the way I read, and how I developed this intense connection to Nige/rian lit as a response, and all that.

I.e., he was trying to say, I listened to what you said and paid attention to your interests enough to go purchase and read a several-hundred-page work of fiction! And effectively, I was all, Oh, that doesn't work on me because I don't listen to myself when I talk!

Sigh. I'm not sure I should date anyone at a job I've been doing for only a few weeks, because that's creepy, but it would be nice to be less of a lout.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 09-16-09 2:44 PM
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You could invite him up to your apartment to look at your N/ger/an L/t.


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 09-16-09 2:47 PM
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Noooo. That, in my opinion, is not a biff. Biffing would be, "Hey! I mentioned that in my talk! Is that why you went and got the book?" You played right into his hands! Cyrano via your own amnesia in re what you say in talks.


Posted by: oudemia | Link to this comment | 09-16-09 2:48 PM
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enough to go purchase and read a several-hundred-page work of fiction

That's awfully cute of him, by the way.


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 09-16-09 2:49 PM
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I.e., he was trying to say, I listened to what you said and paid attention to your interests enough to go purchase and read a several-hundred-page work of fiction! And effectively, I was all, Oh, that doesn't work on me because I don't listen to myself when I talk!

Hee. Artlessness has its charms, too.


Posted by: redfoxtailshrub | Link to this comment | 09-16-09 2:51 PM
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If he really did buy and read the book on account of you, he presumably likes you enough that your response wouldn't have screwed anything up.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 09-16-09 2:51 PM
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That, in my opinion, is not a biff. Biffing would be, "Hey! I mentioned that in my talk! Is that why you went and got the book?" You played right into his hands! Cyrano via your own amnesia in re what you say in talks.

And this.


Posted by: redfoxtailshrub | Link to this comment | 09-16-09 2:52 PM
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I will take this under advisement, this stupid-cute thing I do. Usually the stupid-cute thing I do is not actually cute. But yes, buying the book (it was still in the bookstore bag! hardcover!) and reading it is pretty adorable. Still, I am a bit wary about what might come of it, given that I've already been (jokingly?) warned that I will be fired for saying some of the things I'm saying in my workshops.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 09-16-09 2:55 PM
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Yeah, I think you did ok too. What else could you have said? If you'd asked him if that was because you'd talked about NL, he might have been embarrassed. At least you realised quickly enough to do something about it (if you want to).

I once got invited to the cinema by someone I wasn't particularly friends with, and then he drove me home (several miles from central London, and he lived equally far out in the opposite direction) - took me about 6 years before I realised he'd probably been trying to make it a date. (Not that I liked him like that anyway, which was why it hadn't occurred to me.)

When I was ... erm ... 22, it must have been, I bought a watch with a dinosaur on because the boy on whom I had a HUGE crush was into dinosaurs. (My boyfriend thought it was an odd choice.) That worked, IYKWIMAITYD.


Posted by: asilon | Link to this comment | 09-17-09 12:59 AM
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Just don't go buying a watch with a big apostrophe on it, asilon.


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 09-17-09 9:24 AM
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I've already been (jokingly?) warned that I will be fired for saying some of the things I'm saying in my workshops.

They really hate N/gerian L/t at your new job, huh?


Posted by: JRoth | Link to this comment | 09-17-09 12:20 PM
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You have no idea how tough it is to say the correct things in workshops.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 09-17-09 12:27 PM
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Wait, buying and reading a book etc. like that just sounds ubercreepy. i mean if you were sort-of friends for a while and had talked about it before, or if you had gone on a few dates, ok, but status quo: mostly ick. i think because it would make more sense to talk about the book, the read it. maybe my perception of reading n/n l/t as 'work' not 'fun' is doing something here

note: in hs i read a book b/c crush-target mentioned it. then i mentinoed it and she said she hadsn't actually read it, just heard it and mentioned and wanted to name drop something to sound smart. since it was 'the fountainhead' that was probably for the best.


Posted by: yoyo | Link to this comment | 09-17-09 7:41 PM
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You know, I read a whole bunch of books in 7th grade because Sting said he loved them and I loved Sting. The Deptford Trilogy (which I still remember he called "rather erudite and quite nice"), Howard's End, Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man, and more!


Posted by: oudemia | Link to this comment | 09-17-09 7:47 PM
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384: did Sting find it creepy?


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 09-17-09 7:51 PM
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385: No, well, actually he made me read them. Young teacher . . . the subject . . .


Posted by: oudemia | Link to this comment | 09-17-09 7:53 PM
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At least he didn't make you not have to put on the red light.

How the hell do you put on a red light, anyhow? Is it like a halloween costume? "Look at me, I'm a broken stoplight!"


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 09-17-09 7:55 PM
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At least he didn't make you not have to put on the red light.

Because I would have been seriously pissed. Those days were NOT over, dammit.


Posted by: oudemia | Link to this comment | 09-17-09 7:57 PM
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Poor Sting all having to share you with another boy.

I bet because it was like a two-part theme costume. "Oh, look, you're a broken red light and he's running you!"


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 09-17-09 7:59 PM
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389: That would be complicated. How would the non-stoplight dress?


Posted by: oudemia | Link to this comment | 09-17-09 8:00 PM
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390: well, right. You don't want to lose somebody who can pull off a costume like that.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 09-17-09 8:03 PM
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Maybe um running shoes and a mask with your face on it?


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 09-17-09 8:03 PM
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That would be something. Unnerving really.


Posted by: oudemia | Link to this comment | 09-17-09 8:06 PM
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383: Actually, I think it works precisely because we're not dating. If a colleague recommends some category of something they find entertaining, and you were looking for something entertaining at that moment, and you go seek it out, it's ambiguous enough. I haven't even read the author he picked up, who is really hot right now and would be exactly the author someone who went into a bookstore and asked for N/n L/t would end up with.

But maybe it's also just that kind of work environment; everyone's really passionate and interested in things. One of my coworkers handed me a DVD documentary to watch this weekend, just because he thought I'd like it. Another is exchanging favorite blogs and podcasts with me via email. Another called me on my day off to ask for my opinion about something he was thinking about. In this environment, I wouldn't say it seemed creepy.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 09-17-09 8:23 PM
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They're trying to take you away from us, AWB. Don't let them! Only give them the bare-minimum social interaction and opinionating that's in keeping with your professional obligations!


Posted by: JRoth | Link to this comment | 09-17-09 9:37 PM
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Reading this thread from the bottom up, I was puzzled at what exactly "nun lit" might be and why we were googleproofing it.

Then I remembered that AWB introduced me to "The Monk".


Posted by: k-sky | Link to this comment | 09-17-09 9:55 PM
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394: I'm curious - what author is it? I'm always looking for good books (and I'm too lazy to go to a bookstore and find out who the key author is).


Posted by: Parenthetical | Link to this comment | 09-17-09 10:00 PM
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397: Parenthetical and AWB, sittin' in a tree . . . .


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 09-17-09 10:09 PM
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...R-E-A-D-I-N-G.


Posted by: eb | Link to this comment | 09-17-09 10:10 PM
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397: Maybe this guy?


Posted by: Witt | Link to this comment | 09-17-09 10:10 PM
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400: I'm pretty sure the author isn't Kobe, anyway.


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 09-17-09 10:13 PM
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397: The most recent collection of stories by.

396: Am I wrong that it is utterly bitching?


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 09-17-09 10:13 PM
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Also to 396, you know this needs to be done as a (good--there are some silly ones) movie, right? If you need a consultant, I'm so there.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 09-17-09 10:15 PM
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Thanks, AWB.


Posted by: Parenthetical | Link to this comment | 09-17-09 10:16 PM
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And thanks, AWB. Interesting... I'm having feature completion issues, but maybe once I get the current two under control.


Posted by: k-sky | Link to this comment | 09-17-09 11:10 PM
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I also have big plans for a modest screen version of Wieland, because that could be fucking crazy-scary, but The Monk would need to be big giant wicked-expensive WTFfest.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 09-17-09 11:38 PM
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I would go see all these movies. who do you have in mind for the corrupted monk?


Posted by: alameida | Link to this comment | 09-17-09 11:52 PM
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besides zachary quinto obvs.


Posted by: alameida | Link to this comment | 09-17-09 11:52 PM
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alameida volunteers to staff the casting couch for zachary.

Brave, brave alameida.


Posted by: JRoth | Link to this comment | 09-18-09 7:58 AM
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