Re: Three ways to fail a sobriety test

1

Great, now I'm on youtube.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 11-11-09 9:36 AM
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I laughed at the second one, when he hit the wall. C loves (well, he has a knack for finding them, loves may be a little strong) all those crappy police shows, and I think I've actually seen number one on tv already.


Posted by: asilon | Link to this comment | 11-11-09 9:38 AM
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Three is so fake. I do love 2, though, and 1 is also pretty funny.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 11-11-09 9:41 AM
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The second was the best. I suppose he was lucky to hit the drywall between the studs.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 11-11-09 9:47 AM
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Oh, Heebie. That's so aught six

That was really funny. I don't know why you would hesitate to post it.


Posted by: rob helpy-chalk | Link to this comment | 11-11-09 9:49 AM
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I don't even own a judgment.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 11-11-09 9:56 AM
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I should just trust that I'm a terrible judge of what people will find funny.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 11-11-09 9:56 AM
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I liked the first. Right to the point. Clonk!


Posted by: togolosh | Link to this comment | 11-11-09 10:02 AM
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I like the fact that after the suspect falls over and puts his head through the drywall, the officer still has to try again to administer the sobriety test.


Posted by: rob helpy-chalk | Link to this comment | 11-11-09 10:07 AM
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Topically, I assume everybody has seen this?

(Oh wait, I linked it here before. Well, who cares!)

Two points: first, that is so totally not alcohol making him act that way. Second, I would feel bad laughing, but hey, I've been there.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 11-11-09 10:07 AM
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The incredible Boston subway near-miss is good candidate for a fourth way. (Happened very recently, right?)


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 11-11-09 10:17 AM
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that is so totally not alcohol

Ain't that the truth.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 11-11-09 10:18 AM
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9: Yes.

I actually found the faceplant in 1 to be too painful-looking to laugh at. But the guy's inability to stay in the room in 2 was fantastic, and the cop's, "You're going to have to stop doing that" was a nice touch.


Posted by: JRoth | Link to this comment | 11-11-09 10:26 AM
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They were all three extremely funny.


Posted by: text | Link to this comment | 11-11-09 11:01 AM
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11: yeah this week I think.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 11-11-09 11:22 AM
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I liked the way the third guy swaggered down the line.


Posted by: PGD | Link to this comment | 11-11-09 11:34 AM
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Also.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 11-11-09 11:43 AM
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Are you kidding? That made my morning, Heebie.

You know, I've never been drunk enough to truly lose my balance, so it's not a very familiar motion. But yesterday I sat on the couch surfing the internets for too long with my foot folded beneath me, and it was totally asleep, and when I finally got up I basically pulled everything in #2 except actually making contact with the wall. Very disturbing but also hilarious.


Posted by: Ile | Link to this comment | 11-11-09 12:26 PM
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15 to 10.last.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 11-11-09 12:37 PM
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That story at the end of 11 about the priest's son is so sad!

But then it goes back to drunks, drunk pilots.


Posted by: Ile | Link to this comment | 11-11-09 12:44 PM
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10, 12: What is it that makes him act that way?

it made me think of the maitre d' here, only slightly less graceful.


Posted by: Cecily | Link to this comment | 11-11-09 1:20 PM
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here


Posted by: Cecily | Link to this comment | 11-11-09 1:21 PM
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21: I don't know, but it looks like some kind of strong downer -- a barbituate or perhaps heroin.


Posted by: PGD | Link to this comment | 11-11-09 1:22 PM
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It seems possible that it's at least partially due to a diability. I kind of cringed watching him. He could easily be drunk on top of a muscular deformity or no-balance-y disorder.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 11-11-09 1:26 PM
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By diability I mean disability, not diabolical.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 11-11-09 1:26 PM
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Possibly, but it looks like a combination of booze and ketamine to me.


Posted by: Ginger Yellow | Link to this comment | 11-11-09 1:28 PM
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26: Speaking of Thanksgiving....


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 11-11-09 1:28 PM
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24: I dunno. Maybe. In my experience, if that were the case, he would have explained that to the guys and asked for help, and/or brought some kind of visible mobility aid with him in the first place to ward off misunderstandings.

But I SUPPOSE not everyone is exactly like me.


Posted by: Cecily | Link to this comment | 11-11-09 1:30 PM
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I'm pretty sure the whole physical room is tilting and spinning, but it's undetectable since the camera is mounted on the wall. Poor sad sack.

I'm really voting some sort of disability, compounded. He looks so hapless.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 11-11-09 1:30 PM
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30

29 posted before seeing 28.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 11-11-09 1:31 PM
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I certainly know of disabilities that make you lean in weird directions and fall down a lot. I just can't imagine trying to buy booze without being real clear and up front about the whole thing.


Posted by: Cecily | Link to this comment | 11-11-09 1:35 PM
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32

(I have one such disability and I am super hyper sensitive about the possibility that other people might think I'm drunk when I am, sadly, not).


Posted by: Cecily | Link to this comment | 11-11-09 1:36 PM
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33

It sure looks like ketamine (or some similar drug) to me.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 11-11-09 1:37 PM
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34

I've also seen similar reactions to salvia divinorum, but that wears off way too quickly to be the culprit there.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 11-11-09 1:39 PM
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Oh my god, that is so long. I can't believe how long it goes on for. The very end hurts particularly much to watch.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 11-11-09 1:40 PM
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36

Does it have sound?


Posted by: Cecily | Link to this comment | 11-11-09 1:43 PM
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33 gets it right.

The part where he's sitting on the floor and trying to lift himself up, but he's about six inches too high in where he thinks the floor is? Total ketamine.

Possibly it could be some combination of ativan or another heavy-duty knockout drug and some other things but yeah, I vote for K.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 11-11-09 1:53 PM
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36: stupid overdubbed music.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 11-11-09 1:53 PM
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I would really love to know what they all are saying to each other. Especially what the sober guys' commentary is like.


Posted by: Cecily | Link to this comment | 11-11-09 1:55 PM
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I think I've been that drunk. It's a little hazy at this point, but I do remember very clearly *crawling* across campus to get back to my dorm, because I was unable to stand.


Posted by: Chopper | Link to this comment | 11-11-09 1:56 PM
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I hold out hope that he was on an ether high, because there aren't enough people being filmed on ether.


Posted by: Criminally Bulgur | Link to this comment | 11-11-09 1:58 PM
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I feel like I'm losing my drug cred here. I've never even heard of salvia divinorum.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 11-11-09 2:09 PM
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43

But I've had a hell of a time on Special K!


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 11-11-09 2:11 PM
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44

The cereal, not the horse tranqs.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 11-11-09 2:12 PM
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45

But we snorted it!


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 11-11-09 2:12 PM
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46

Didn't lose any inches off our middles, though.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 11-11-09 2:13 PM
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Sort of tangential, but I was rather intrigued by the ovelapping-in-time splices from camera to camera as he moves out of frame. It almost makes it like a game, trying to reorent yourself, waiting for him to appear in the new frame and for things you saw in the last frame to happen.


Posted by: Ile | Link to this comment | 11-11-09 2:14 PM
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Didn't lose any inches off our middles, though.

That's a very thick septum.


Posted by: Criminally Bulgur | Link to this comment | 11-11-09 2:14 PM
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42: It's a plant that you can order online, but it really isn't something that most people find fun. It will absolutely turn your world upside down for about ten minutes, though.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 11-11-09 2:15 PM
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I think his behavior could best be described as tangential.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 11-11-09 2:15 PM
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Wow! You snorted Special K cereal!

You're one of those people my parents warned me about!


Posted by: peep | Link to this comment | 11-11-09 2:15 PM
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49: true also for DXM, 5meo-DMT, Foxy, and pretty much every other hallucinogen you can order (basically) legally online. How is that fair?

Now, when you could get G legally? That was something.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 11-11-09 2:19 PM
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52: Now you are just name-dropping.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 11-11-09 2:21 PM
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Don't even get me started on AMT, MDA, MDEA, Escaline, Datura or 2CT-7. Just say no, kids!


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 11-11-09 2:23 PM
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At least some of those are illegal now, and good riddance. Lactone! Who needs Lactone.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 11-11-09 2:25 PM
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Order your DMT now, though. The FDA's period for comment ends on the 27th of this month and they're almost certainly going to make it Schedule I.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 11-11-09 2:25 PM
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What's DMT?


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 11-11-09 2:26 PM
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5meo or n,n,? Fuck 5meo, but it'd be sad if you couldn't get n,n anymore.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 11-11-09 2:26 PM
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Would I like it?


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 11-11-09 2:26 PM
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I'm pretty sure the archives have recorded that Tweety and I disagree about whether MDA is enjoyable.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 11-11-09 2:27 PM
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I'm still nursing. Would Hawaiian Punch like it?


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 11-11-09 2:27 PM
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57: it's how you meet the machine elves.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 11-11-09 2:27 PM
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58: 5MeO. But I guess you could always get some Colorado River toads and homebrew it.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 11-11-09 2:28 PM
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60: I know people who claim to enjoy all of the drugs I've mentioned. I think the main knock on MDA is that it lasts so damn long.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 11-11-09 2:29 PM
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62: And the interdimensional mantids.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 11-11-09 2:30 PM
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63: or that plant that goes in Wisconsin.

5meo is really a weak cousin to n,n. Ordinarily you just feel like you inhaled some kind of horrible chemical exhaust and stopped breathing. The whole "psychedelic wonderland" thing is pretty rare. n,n on the other hand is supposed to be dynamite.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 11-11-09 2:30 PM
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"goes" should be "grows".


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 11-11-09 2:31 PM
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One man's knock is another man's bonus, I guess.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 11-11-09 2:31 PM
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Oh, Clifford Pickover, you garish numbskull.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 11-11-09 2:32 PM
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68: 20 hours is a long bus ride.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 11-11-09 2:33 PM
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||

Have we discussed Baconnaise? My dad got some and says it tastes more like salami than bacon.

|>


Posted by: asilon | Link to this comment | 11-11-09 2:38 PM
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Wait, DMT is legal and available by mail?


Posted by: Eggplant | Link to this comment | 11-11-09 2:46 PM
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5meo-DMT, which isn't the machine elf kind.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 11-11-09 2:50 PM
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72: You can make your own from mimosa hostilis root bark if you're ambitious.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 11-11-09 2:54 PM
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There are also Ayahuasca ceremonies that are, I think, not too hard to find.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 11-11-09 3:04 PM
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74: wow, that is ambitious.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 11-11-09 3:09 PM
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There are also Ayahuasca ceremonies that are, I think, not too hard to find.

This is a good idea for an Unfogged meetup.


Posted by: Criminally Bulgur | Link to this comment | 11-11-09 3:26 PM
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Gravity also becomes a whole new experience on Ketamine. Balance is difficult, and walking requires intense concentration and an almost mechanical determinism. Vision is also drastically altered. Ketamine is not hallucinogenic in the classical sense, but while under the influence, vision becomes blurred and distorted as if anything you attempt to focus on is softly pushing your attention elsewhere. You can move around, grab things, etc., but is kind of like you are operating your body remotely while looking through a fishbowl. Light is oddly refracted and does not hit the retina cleanly - or, light hitting the retina is normal, but the translation to the brain is somewhat softened and distorted.

Needless to say, hazardous activities that require acute attention, like driving in traffic, riding a bike, performing surgery, etc. should not be attempted while under the influence of Ketamine.

Speech also becomes difficult while in the peak. Coming up with the simplest sentences, like "I am experiencing something very phenomenal right now" can take an immense amount of concentration and deliberate intention - partially because there is no tactile feedback on the lips, and partially because thoughts you might wish to express on Ketamine don't always translate quickly or easily into English.

Another problem is that while experiencing the phenomenon of "eternity," each thought, action, and word takes on a new and complex weight. Because you are so aware of the cause and effect relational web that transcends time and space, each word you speak seems to carry an immense weight and power. For instance, uttering a simple word like "slurp" can conjure images of the first creature who pulled itself from the primordial sea onto land, and the sound it made as it struggled through the thick mud on its evolutionary journey towards self-awareness. You not only get images, but an actual physical reliving of this event!

...Ketamine is a very "process oriented" entheogen. I would describe it as a "transdimensional information navigation device." To take this metaphor a step further, consider this: If mushrooms were an ornately carved chariot pulled by untamed horses, and LSD was a fancy, suped-up sporstcar, DMT would be an elfin-crafted hypersonic anti-grav device, and Ketamine would be a VR headset and bodysuit with a T-1 line into the universal database. It gives you TOTAL immersion, and navigation is accomplished purely by thought and body movement.


Posted by: PGD | Link to this comment | 11-11-09 4:01 PM
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sorry, meant to delete much of that before posting.


Posted by: PGD | Link to this comment | 11-11-09 4:03 PM
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79:      Why?                  Each            word            carried            such            immense            weight.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 11-11-09 4:09 PM
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S L U R P


Posted by: PGD | Link to this comment | 11-11-09 4:11 PM
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sorry, meant to delete much of that before posting.

Cutting and pasting on Ketamine can be difficult.


Posted by: Criminally Bulgur | Link to this comment | 11-11-09 4:11 PM
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Needless to say [...] riding a bike [...] should not be attempted while under the influence of Ketamine.

Not in traffic, maybe, but it's pretty damn fun.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 11-11-09 4:13 PM
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Being pwned cold sober on the other hand, is easy.


Posted by: Criminally Bulgur | Link to this comment | 11-11-09 4:13 PM
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Oh, Clifford Pickover, you garish numbskull.

So very apt.


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 11-11-09 4:19 PM
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TELECOMS....ANALOGY....STUCK...IN...90S...PLZ...HLP...


Posted by: Alex | Link to this comment | 11-11-09 4:30 PM
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Gravity also becomes a whole new experience on Ketamine. Balance is difficult, and walking requires intense concentration and an almost mechanical determinism.

I've never actually found balance per se to be a problem on K, but the rest rings very true. Sometimes I had to actually grab on to my legs to move them. And speaking is a very weird experience. Formulating a sentence, saying it, and hearing yourself say it are three temporally distinct events.


Posted by: Ginger Yellow | Link to this comment | 11-11-09 4:56 PM
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I've never actually found balance per se to be a problem on K

My balance was fine, it was the gravitational field that was tilting and bending in odd directions.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 11-11-09 5:02 PM
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62: but isn't it weird that everybody meets the machine elves, or the insects or living trees and stones, or whatever, and they all say "we're here! it's us! we've always been here but you never notice us!" it sort of makes you think that machine elves are real, you know what I'm saying?


Posted by: alameida | Link to this comment | 11-11-09 6:00 PM
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89: I've heard that, that they're real. Not the machine elves, don't know about that, but the living trees and stones and the reeds by the side of the road or pond. I have heard that.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 11-11-09 6:08 PM
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89: heheh.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 11-11-09 6:12 PM
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Shit. I sadly remember the time I faceplanted into the corner of a wall at a bar with a bunch of people here, blood everywhere, and ended up with a huge scar at my hairline and all the bartenders accusing me of being on drugs. No! I had the hiccups! I wasn't even that drunk.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 11-11-09 7:05 PM
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This thread is just like when all my friends in college started tripping all the time. Yes, your stories are interesting, but no, we don't seem to have anything else to talk about anymore.


Posted by: JRoth | Link to this comment | 11-11-09 7:18 PM
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93: tripping s/b hiccuping


Posted by: JRoth | Link to this comment | 11-11-09 7:19 PM
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88: Sifu, did you ever find any ether to try?

As for varying gravitational fields, that's what the remnants of the stroke feel like. The damned thing did just enough damage to my proprioception that I'm always feeling just a little off balance and very slightly clumsy.

It's not terrible but I can't imagine wanting to take a second hit on a chemical that produced that effect the first time.


Posted by: Biohazard | Link to this comment | 11-11-09 8:15 PM
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95.1: I didn't! Someday!


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 11-11-09 8:23 PM
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95.1: I did! Very odd, there were people with masks ... I was counting backwards from 100 .. I was 5 ... I woke up with the worst sore throat....

I do actually have a fairly strong memory of it. (I assume it was still ether being used at the time.)


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 11-11-09 8:29 PM
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I huffed ether a couple of times in high school.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 11-11-09 8:35 PM
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99

SO. JEALOUS.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 11-11-09 8:39 PM
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89:

Es sind daher objektive Gültigkeit und notwendige Allgemeingültigkeit (für jedermann) Wechselbegriffe.


Posted by: I. Kant | Link to this comment | 11-11-09 8:40 PM
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99: Yeah, before that I had sore throats all the time.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 11-11-09 8:40 PM
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62: but isn't it weird that everybody meets the machine elves, or the insects or living trees and stones, or whatever, and they all say "we're here! it's us! we've always been here but you never notice us!" it sort of makes you think that machine elves are real, you know what I'm saying?

Or lizards!


Posted by: redfoxtailshrub | Link to this comment | 11-11-09 8:47 PM
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103

What, lizards are real, you say?


Posted by: redfoxtailshrub | Link to this comment | 11-11-09 8:47 PM
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translationparty.com is fun.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 11-11-09 9:10 PM
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105

um.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 11-11-09 9:11 PM
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106

I broke it, AWB.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 11-11-09 9:16 PM
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107

Thing's broken.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 11-11-09 9:18 PM
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108

I'm good at breaking it!


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 11-11-09 9:18 PM
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109

Hm. Wise.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 11-11-09 9:19 PM
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110

I'm good!


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 11-11-09 9:21 PM
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111

Hey, this is fun, AWB!


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 11-11-09 9:22 PM
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112

This one reads like some Beck lyrics or something. Okay, I'll stop.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 11-11-09 9:24 PM
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113

Wine, beer, Coke, Kokakorakokakora was the largest disaster in the history of postwar Japan!


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 11-11-09 9:24 PM
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114

Japanese sure is a polite language.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 11-11-09 9:25 PM
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115

Let's try that again. It's an extremely polite language.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 11-11-09 9:26 PM
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116

114: Japan is the language that is always polite.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 11-11-09 9:27 PM
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117

115 is making me laugh till I am crying. It is hard to see to type.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 11-11-09 9:28 PM
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118

No really, 115 has a really great last sentence before it gives up. And one unexpected sentence in the middle.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 11-11-09 9:29 PM
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119

It's always great when they go completely off the rails right away. "Devil, if you Gyeongsang up with a long spoon."


Posted by: redfoxtailshrub | Link to this comment | 11-11-09 9:30 PM
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115: Great* Hmmm. I'll stop too.

*From somewhere in the middle, .. on preview never mind.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 11-11-09 9:30 PM
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121

Oh my god, 115.


Posted by: redfoxtailshrub | Link to this comment | 11-11-09 9:30 PM
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122

115 is the best thing I've ever seen.


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 11-11-09 9:34 PM
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123

The Japanese will never be satisfied with the payment date of the burger.


Posted by: snarkout | Link to this comment | 11-11-09 9:34 PM
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124

You know what that middle sentence in 115 must become, even if I'm not allowed to ess ay why it.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 11-11-09 9:34 PM
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125

The things it'll do with a perfectly comprehensible sentence.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 11-11-09 9:35 PM
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126

I was making the mistake of feeding it lines of Shakespeare (which is fun, too). 115 wins everything.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 11-11-09 9:36 PM
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127

Another catchphrase.


Posted by: eb | Link to this comment | 11-11-09 9:38 PM
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128

The Japanese have a shame-based culture.


Posted by: snarkout | Link to this comment | 11-11-09 9:38 PM
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129

Someone's been watching Newsradio.


Posted by: eb | Link to this comment | 11-11-09 9:40 PM
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130

Fun with song lyrics.


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 11-11-09 9:41 PM
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131

All night!.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 11-11-09 9:41 PM
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132

More fun with song lyrics. Makes about as much sense as the original.


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 11-11-09 9:45 PM
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133

If you can't find a city, incorporate it.


Posted by: eb | Link to this comment | 11-11-09 9:45 PM
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134

Rob Base was really singing about machine language.


Posted by: Criminally Bulgur | Link to this comment | 11-11-09 9:47 PM
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135

Help! They are threatening my style!


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 11-11-09 9:48 PM
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136

Fuck it, nothing will top 115. It had me laughing with tears streaming down my cheeks for like five solid minutes.


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 11-11-09 9:48 PM
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137

134 is funny, but not the one that reveals Rob Base's true intentions:

http://translationparty.com/#5245501


Posted by: Criminally Bulgur | Link to this comment | 11-11-09 9:49 PM
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138

136 s/b "115 does not delete anything. Tears of minutes, I was 51 again, and again rolled back the smile on the stability of the stream and walked back up."


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 11-11-09 9:50 PM
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139

I am 7 years old.


Posted by: Chopper | Link to this comment | 11-11-09 9:51 PM
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140

Moral dilemma solved!


Posted by: eb | Link to this comment | 11-11-09 9:58 PM
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141

Laurence Sterne's true intentions revealed.


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 11-11-09 10:01 PM
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142

Saidobodi?


Posted by: eb | Link to this comment | 11-11-09 10:03 PM
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143

This went off the rails quickly.


Posted by: Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 11-11-09 10:03 PM
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144

Bodidasa?


Posted by: eb | Link to this comment | 11-11-09 10:05 PM
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145

Oops, it's mind is going:

Many years later, the colonel was in charge of the firing squad: Author: Unknown Date: 2005 Studio ::::: Manufacturer: Manufacturer: Manufacturer: Manufacturer: Manufacturer: Manufacturer: Manufacturer: Manufacturer: Manufacturer: Manufacturer: Manufacturer: Manufacturer: Enter the father: the ice has been collected by: by: by: by: Aureliano Buendía Tsukarimase Sun: Author:: In the studio, naked.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 11-11-09 10:06 PM
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146

The Smiths do not translate well.


Posted by: Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 11-11-09 10:07 PM
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147

This was definitely best starting in the past tense.


Posted by: eb | Link to this comment | 11-11-09 10:09 PM
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148

146: I don't know, it seems to do okay.


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 11-11-09 10:15 PM
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149

The "crash other parties" link reveals that someone just typed "Persifleur seeks flaneuse for badinage, repartee."


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 11-11-09 10:25 PM
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150

That was me. It's one of my all-time favorite Unfogged lines.


Posted by: bizzah | Link to this comment | 11-11-09 10:27 PM
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151

Unfogged people how many people from many different tribes and nomads to get?


Posted by: eb | Link to this comment | 11-11-09 10:28 PM
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152

AMTF.


Posted by: eb | Link to this comment | 11-11-09 10:29 PM
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153

WMYBSALB?


Posted by: eb | Link to this comment | 11-11-09 10:30 PM
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154

150: I had tried it including the "No Irish need apply" an hour or two ago. And someone else just did, "Why must you be such a little bitch?"


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 11-11-09 10:32 PM
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155

154.last: And apparently it worked well.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 11-11-09 10:32 PM
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156

And now it's dwelling on the misuse of a colon.


Posted by: eb | Link to this comment | 11-11-09 10:33 PM
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157

There must not be a lot of traffic on the site, since sometimes if you put in a couple queries in quick succession and then check the crash other parties, your first ones are still on the page.


Posted by: eb | Link to this comment | 11-11-09 10:35 PM
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158

If, you have a blog, a more complete role and mission: Unfogged final editing, after the blog?


Posted by: Cryptic ned | Link to this comment | 11-11-09 10:37 PM
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159

It's not polite to be so insistent about punchlines.


Posted by: eb | Link to this comment | 11-11-09 10:38 PM
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160

The never-ending chains of 'please' crack me up every time.


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 11-11-09 10:40 PM
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161

158: I shot my man date in Reno, just to watch him die.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 11-11-09 10:42 PM
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162

It can also decrease entropy.


Posted by: Cryptic ned | Link to this comment | 11-11-09 10:42 PM
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163

Or to travel through time, inexorably, like us all.


Posted by: Cryptic ned | Link to this comment | 11-11-09 10:44 PM
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164

Not the equilibrium I expected."


Posted by: eb | Link to this comment | 11-11-09 10:45 PM
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165

Profound:

We need to offer something to stop the chaos of the global burden of death while sleeping in your dreams

Posted by: eb | Link to this comment | 11-11-09 10:50 PM
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166

This one starts at equilibrium. I'm spending way too much time on this.


Posted by: eb | Link to this comment | 11-11-09 10:54 PM
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167

And apparently languagehat covered a lot of of this months ago.


Posted by: eb | Link to this comment | 11-11-09 10:57 PM
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168

167: Translation party pooper.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 11-11-09 11:03 PM
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169

Apathy party translation.


Posted by: eb | Link to this comment | 11-11-09 11:07 PM
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170

"Never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down" no longer becomes "Mercy of God" - now it is "It is intended to be abandoned". Basically the same thing.


Posted by: Cryptic ned | Link to this comment | 11-11-09 11:07 PM
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I haven't figure out quite what to do with the fact that apparently anything starting with the word "O" translates that word as "library".


Posted by: Cryptic ned | Link to this comment | 11-11-09 11:10 PM
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172

So true.


Posted by: eb | Link to this comment | 11-11-09 11:12 PM
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Hey shouldn't the west coast/Europe night shift be picking up about now? Doesn't seem right that the Pittsburgh crew is here doing all the heavy lifting.*

* OK, I haven't done any lifting at all - I just finished the 4200 word draft of a proposal that I stand maybe a 10% chance of getting. Why? Because it's for a cycling plan for the City! I've included links to the relevant places in TFA.


Posted by: JRoth | Link to this comment | 11-11-09 11:14 PM
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174

The difference a letter makes.


Posted by: eb | Link to this comment | 11-11-09 11:14 PM
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175

This is about right.


Posted by: eb | Link to this comment | 11-11-09 11:15 PM
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176

Shit, 173 written before I even saw bizzah was here. 4-1-2, represent.*

* ??


Posted by: JRoth | Link to this comment | 11-11-09 11:15 PM
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Wow. Even more people are in Pittsburgh than I realized, apparently.


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 11-11-09 11:16 PM
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178

175: Fucking A! It's the shit.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 11-11-09 11:18 PM
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179

Shoot! This is nonsense.


Posted by: Cryptic ned | Link to this comment | 11-11-09 11:19 PM
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180

Uddochakkuchakkuuddochakkuuddochakku wood and how much time?


Posted by: Otto von Bisquick | Link to this comment | 11-11-09 11:19 PM
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181

If people don't post links to it all night the world will end. It's just like "The Nine Billion Names of God" only different.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 11-11-09 11:21 PM
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182

We have to keep the commentariat using the site, or it will revert to people typing in "dick vagina boob anal", and that would be terrible. (Or maybe that was one of you.)


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 11-11-09 11:24 PM
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183

And I'm very sad because, inexplicably, translation party has stopped working for me right before I got to the now-legendary 115. WTF?

I guess that it's telling me to go to bed, as I still have hours more to do on the aforementioned proposal.


Posted by: JRoth | Link to this comment | 11-11-09 11:25 PM
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182: Not me, but you have to admit that "Anal penis vagina pickles" is a pretty good outcome.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 11-11-09 11:27 PM
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185

No wonder Hamlet had so much trouble making up his mind.


Posted by: eb | Link to this comment | 11-11-09 11:28 PM
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Yeah, "pickles" was an unexpected surprise.


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 11-11-09 11:28 PM
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187

Now this is just racist.


Posted by: Cryptic ned | Link to this comment | 11-11-09 11:29 PM
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188

183.1: Just e-mailed you the output from 115. You know us "City of Brotherly Love" types need to work together. Not like that useless ballsack, Moby Hick.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 11-11-09 11:31 PM
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189

Hee! Good work, whoever typed in the Gatsby line.


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 11-11-09 11:31 PM
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190

Don't ask too many questions when the sun doesn't set.


Posted by: eb | Link to this comment | 11-11-09 11:31 PM
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E-mail - only e-mail, e-mail - 115 - e-mail e-mail - e-mail is sent to print the e-mail. My brother and I love the city, "we" I need to know the type of work. Ballsack, Mobihikku useful.


Posted by: Cryptic ned | Link to this comment | 11-11-09 11:32 PM
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192

189: Indeed. nosflow would not be happy about the outcome, however.


Posted by: Otto von Bisquick | Link to this comment | 11-11-09 11:32 PM
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193

Mobihikku!


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 11-11-09 11:33 PM
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187: Yes. And it helpfully adds, "Translation Party is hiring, you know."


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 11-11-09 11:34 PM
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192: The reason is because in the past, this victory is always screw steamer.


Posted by: Cryptic ned | Link to this comment | 11-11-09 11:35 PM
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193: We will make Mobihikku rue the night he blissfully slept while others labored.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 11-11-09 11:37 PM
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192: That's "beak nosflow" to you, Ottofonbisukuikku. And you too, Ned Mystery.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 11-11-09 11:40 PM
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198

I expected much worse; maybe Marx is meant to be machine-translated into Japanese?


Posted by: Otto von Bisquick | Link to this comment | 11-11-09 11:41 PM
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199

Fun with Mobidikku.


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 11-11-09 11:42 PM
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200

And eb is "Beauty", that's so precious.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 11-11-09 11:43 PM
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quite so.


Posted by: Cryptic ned | Link to this comment | 11-11-09 11:44 PM
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202

199 is fantastic. Colleagues, we are in the sperm lottery indeed!


Posted by: Otto von Bisquick | Link to this comment | 11-11-09 11:44 PM
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203

Nicely reminiscent of William Carlos Williams.


Posted by: bizzah | Link to this comment | 11-11-09 11:44 PM
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204

Explication party.


Posted by: eb | Link to this comment | 11-11-09 11:51 PM
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205

O eb!
The Beauty of the Library.
Colleagues, we are in the sperm lottery.
Rain.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 11-11-09 11:55 PM
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206

105: AWB is the ... Devil!
G'night.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 11-12-09 12:01 AM
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207

1111111 President Bush is 1,111,111,111,112 bird gets to use a single value..


Posted by: eb | Link to this comment | 11-12-09 12:07 AM
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208

This is the sound and fury, I can do something stupid do I have to backtrack?


Posted by: bizzah | Link to this comment | 11-12-09 12:55 AM
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He is all life in the universe, the fall of the descendants of this dead end, I was stunned as snow.


Posted by: eb | Link to this comment | 11-12-09 2:27 AM
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By the way, if ttaM's reading, I went to see the Buzzcocks tonight and they were definitely decent, so thanks for the advice.


Posted by: Keir | Link to this comment | 11-12-09 4:09 AM
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211

re: 210

Excellent.


Posted by: nattarGcM ttaM | Link to this comment | 11-12-09 4:24 AM
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212

Dick Cheney is Japanese.


Posted by: Carp | Link to this comment | 11-12-09 5:28 AM
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213

188: Everytime I try to be useful, something fucks up.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 11-12-09 6:23 AM
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I always, please Shiina Pavilion. The mate is not something useful. - Mobihikku

From The Wisdom of Mobihikku Vol. 1


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 11-12-09 7:18 AM
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||

Typical Friday at Apo's house

|>


Posted by: rob helpy-chalk | Link to this comment | 11-12-09 8:56 AM
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The other line I was thinking of using for that link was "Titties, hooray! Wangs, hooray!"


Posted by: rob helpy-chalk | Link to this comment | 11-12-09 8:58 AM
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Prices are as follows: 11111111 person: is 111111 you can benefit more than one claim in a single batch of 211,111 people. There is a bug triggered by the word "one" I think.


Posted by: lw | Link to this comment | 11-12-09 9:27 AM
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218

212,

I started with

"A blank white screen is the last thing many aspiring writers ever see."

and reached equilibrium at

"For many aspiring writers, a blank screen. Quit."


Posted by: Frostbite | Link to this comment | 11-12-09 9:36 AM
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219

No!


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 11-12-09 9:49 AM
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220

58 minutes 51 complaints, too, please do not leave the living room.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 11-12-09 10:06 AM
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221

115 made me pee on my cat.


Posted by: Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 11-12-09 10:08 AM
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If Martin Luther had spoken Japanese, perhaps the Protestant Reformation would have come to a quick conclusion -- http://translationparty.com/#5252698


Posted by: peep | Link to this comment | 11-12-09 10:08 AM
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223

I seem to be missing something. The very first link I followed to Translation Party worked, but all the others (and now, even the first one) doesn't work. That said, the page's source is pretty entertaining in its own right.


Posted by: Nathan Williams | Link to this comment | 11-12-09 10:11 AM
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220 is great.

So, I'm going to fight for the rights of third parties.


Posted by: Brock Landers | Link to this comment | 11-12-09 10:47 AM
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219: I like the butt of Crete, I lie.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 11-12-09 10:57 AM
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226
Posted by: | Link to this comment | 11-12-09 11:07 AM
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227

226 - is that what you typed in, or what you got out?


Posted by: asilon | Link to this comment | 11-12-09 11:35 AM
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228

My translation: I will introduce a translation of them..


Posted by: eb | Link to this comment | 11-12-09 12:33 PM
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229

The scary thing is that the only reason we know this is a machine translation is volume and speed. Back as an undergrad I used to help out struggling students with their French lit papers. The minimum requirement for those classes was three years undergrad French or the equivalent, but some still insisted on writing them in English and then translating with a dictionary. The typical results can be seen in the comments above.


Posted by: teraz kurwa my | Link to this comment | 11-12-09 5:23 PM
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