Re: Christ, what an asshole.

1

Somebody gonna get an ass chewing for that. Just glad it ain't me.


Posted by: togolosh | Link to this comment | 12-14-09 10:44 AM
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hey who said you could leave the corner? TIME OUT!

(transcript/summary pretty please?)


Posted by: Cecily | Link to this comment | 12-14-09 10:47 AM
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(2 to Heebie. togolosh, you aren't in time out, don't worry.)


Posted by: Cecily | Link to this comment | 12-14-09 10:53 AM
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What percentage of Texans actually have an accent like that?


Posted by: Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 12-14-09 10:53 AM
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(transcript/summary pretty please?)

Unfortunately, that denies you pretty much 100% of the awesomeness of the video. However, you can find a description of what it's about here.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 12-14-09 10:53 AM
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Also, um, "homogeneity".


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 12-14-09 10:57 AM
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So how much money is the lawsuit? I couldn't quite catch it the one, brief time he mentioned it.


Posted by: JRoth | Link to this comment | 12-14-09 11:00 AM
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hunnafittymillyun, I think he said.


Posted by: mcmc | Link to this comment | 12-14-09 11:02 AM
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That's what you get when you build on saaayund. It's a heawhoahle behyg saaayunbah.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 12-14-09 11:04 AM
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Seriously, I would've thought this accent were a vile caricature of actual Texan speech.


Posted by: Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 12-14-09 11:06 AM
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But it's like a caricature of eight different accents! Is the guy a black, gay Texan drag queen redneck from New Orleans?


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 12-14-09 11:08 AM
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3: S'OK Cec. I ain't gonna chew your ass.


Posted by: togolosh | Link to this comment | 12-14-09 11:11 AM
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Don't hypercorrect, Jackmo.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 12-14-09 11:20 AM
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||

Big hit with the 5-year-old (Texan) twins for Hannukah/Hanukkah/Chanukah.

|>


Posted by: Sir Kraab | Link to this comment | 12-14-09 11:25 AM
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Is the guy a black, gay Texan drag queen redneck from New Orleans?

Sounded like a weak imitation of Shirley Q. Liquor.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 12-14-09 11:28 AM
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OK, I know I should be over at Standpipe's place looking for the answer, but I don't get it.


Posted by: Sir Kraab | Link to this comment | 12-14-09 11:33 AM
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16 to 16


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 12-14-09 11:34 AM
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15: His accent, I mean. Not Tweety's quote.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 12-14-09 11:35 AM
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But, but why would someone bother to do a racist, homophobie voice caricature about a construction disaster? (More or less a rhetorical question.)


Posted by: Sir Kraab | Link to this comment | 12-14-09 11:42 AM
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oops--hunnerantwentyfi millyun.


Posted by: mcmc | Link to this comment | 12-14-09 11:48 AM
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The collapse of the housing bubble has been very confusing for people, Kraab.

I think the accent's legit. I think Lonny is an amazing person who talks amazingly.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 12-14-09 11:48 AM
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19: I'm pretty sure the accent's real. The post is trolling the people in the Houston thread yesterday who were mad at me for claiming that all Texans are relentlessy racist assholes.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 12-14-09 11:48 AM
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BTW, this post didn't make any sense until I read the other thread. The video still doesn't make much sense, but at least now I understand Heebie's intentions.


Posted by: JRoth | Link to this comment | 12-14-09 11:50 AM
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The video doesn't have to make sense! The video is awesome!


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 12-14-09 11:53 AM
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I like to hypercorrect, elttil hctib.


Posted by: Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 12-14-09 11:55 AM
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Lonny has a whole channel. Lonnie Stumbles Up on a Beach Wedding is great.


Posted by: mcmc | Link to this comment | 12-14-09 11:58 AM
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I'm pretty sure the accent's real.

Mmm, I think it's exaggerated. Here's another one where the accent comes and goes: http://www.youtube.com/user/DatsWhatImSayin#p/u/4/sR26uecJCDE


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 12-14-09 11:58 AM
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After all the happiness Lonnie has brought into the world you'd think I could spell his name right.


Posted by: mcmc | Link to this comment | 12-14-09 12:00 PM
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I did hear tell of the Houston thread, though I haven't read it yet.


Posted by: Sir Kraab | Link to this comment | 12-14-09 12:00 PM
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Also, *of course* all Texans are racist and homophobic. Just look at me and heebie, for goodness sake!


Posted by: Sir Kraab | Link to this comment | 12-14-09 12:01 PM
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27: Wasn't someone saying the other day that the South Eastern Texas accent sounds like a Yankee doing a fake southern accent?


Posted by: mcmc | Link to this comment | 12-14-09 12:01 PM
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I don't know anything about it firsthand, but I remember reading that there's a New Orleans accent that sounds like oldfashioned Brooklyn. Maybe there's a connection?


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 12-14-09 12:02 PM
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31: The beaumont accent. I actually searched for quite a while to try to find a good sample of it, but I couldn't locate one. It's not this, though.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 12-14-09 12:07 PM
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Huh. This is beginning to seem less like a guy with a really awesome accent and more like a white dude doing a weird racist caricature. I'm not sure I know how I feel about that.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 12-14-09 12:07 PM
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This is his website. I'm not quite sure what it proves.


Posted by: Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 12-14-09 12:09 PM
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32: the Yat accent. See here.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 12-14-09 12:09 PM
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35: in the video apo linked to you can see his hands briefly, which look pretty darn white to me.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 12-14-09 12:11 PM
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32: There is such an accent. Wah ya't? And so on. And sure, there's a connection: huge numbers of New Orleanians ended up in Houston, that giant suckpit of suckosiity, even before Katrina. In the wake of the flood, we're talking about well over 100k former New Orleanians bringing their unique and colorful faux-Acadian hijinks to America's most disheartening city.


Posted by: ari | Link to this comment | 12-14-09 12:12 PM
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36: It's not cool for you of all people to pwn me about New Orleans. I think you know that and pwned me anyway. Not cool!


Posted by: ari | Link to this comment | 12-14-09 12:13 PM
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Ha ha I totally pwned Mr. hoity-toity academic New Orleans expert!


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 12-14-09 12:13 PM
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But then he pwned me on recounting the pwning. Fate, she is fickle.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 12-14-09 12:13 PM
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Though I don't wish to reinforce your uncool behavior, I must note that the video you linked in 36.2 is really quite excellent.


Posted by: ari | Link to this comment | 12-14-09 12:16 PM
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America's most disheartening city.

Nuh uh. I'm not a huge Houston booster, but it's certainly less disheartening than, for example, Dallas.


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 12-14-09 12:16 PM
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Just to tie this into the other thread, Bill White probably did more to help Katrina victims than any other single person.


Posted by: robert halford | Link to this comment | 12-14-09 12:16 PM
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39: yeah it's fascinating. I could listen to the woman at 5 and a half minutes in talk for quite a while.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 12-14-09 12:18 PM
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Nuh uh. I'm not a huge Houston booster, but it's certainly less disheartening than, for example, Dallas.

Don't forget Phoenix!


Posted by: redfoxtailshrub | Link to this comment | 12-14-09 12:22 PM
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32, 36: Sifu is right, and the Toole book is awesome.

"Where y'at?" was the standard greeting at the construction sites I worked on through college. At least when it wasn't replaced by "Where y'at bubba?"

Anybody else here remember K&B purple?


Posted by: Doug | Link to this comment | 12-14-09 12:24 PM
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43: I actually sort of like (parts of) Houston, to be totally honest. We got trapped there a couple of years ago when we missed a flight around Christmas and couldn't get another one for three or four days. We ended up having a really nice time: Pricelined a very fancy hotel for next to nothing; spent some time ogling rocket porn at NASA; visited lots of uncrowded art museums (the museum district really is pretty amazing, especially for modern art) and were very impressed by that one museum cafe next to the subterranean waterfall; and marched in a New Year's parade at the children's museum. That said, I think we must have been there December 29-January 2, and the city seemed to have been completely abandoned, like neutron-bomb-buildings-standing-but-people-all-gone empty.



Posted by: ari | Link to this comment | 12-14-09 12:26 PM
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neutron-bomb-buildings-standing-but-people-all-gone empty.

"Opinions were split on the neutron bomb: most buildings were for it, but most people were against it."


Posted by: JRoth | Link to this comment | 12-14-09 12:30 PM
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48: Also, I've only been to Dallas once -- for business -- but the book depository and other efforts to capitalize on the Kennedy assassination totally captured my fancy.


Posted by: ari | Link to this comment | 12-14-09 12:30 PM
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totally captured my fancy

Is that what historians are calling it these days?


Posted by: Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 12-14-09 12:37 PM
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My fancy was intact and mine alone. Before visiting Dallas.


Posted by: ari | Link to this comment | 12-14-09 12:40 PM
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I have to visit Houston over the New Year's weekend. Do they issue your gun and boots at the airport or can you pick them up later?


Posted by: Flippanter | Link to this comment | 12-14-09 12:40 PM
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For sale on every corner. From vending machines, of course, as there are no people left in the city. Seriously, you should go to the museum of modern art and the Rothko Chapel and to the main art museum's cafe, which is located below street level next to a weirdly appealing water feature.


Posted by: ari | Link to this comment | 12-14-09 12:45 PM
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And if you have kids, the children's museum is pretty great. NASA, too, though it's far away and apparently where they store all the people.


Posted by: ari | Link to this comment | 12-14-09 12:46 PM
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Not to distract us from Houston, but at 6:08 on the video from 36.2, you get a couple of seconds of pure Mrs. Potato-Head from Toy Story.

Any idea when the video was shot? Mid-1980s?


Posted by: Doug | Link to this comment | 12-14-09 1:03 PM
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Oh right, the little box says 1983. I can haz reading failur.


Posted by: Doug | Link to this comment | 12-14-09 1:05 PM
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Houston is a great town for food. Hugo's is the best high-end Mexican food I've had in the US, and there are tons of other good options. Very good Chinese, Vietnamese, and Thai, as well.


Posted by: robert halford | Link to this comment | 12-14-09 1:09 PM
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One of the things I never realized about Houston until I moved to Tejas is that it's very ethnically and racially diverse, especially compared to the rest of TX. Because it's a port city, duh. (That "duh" is for me.) I wouldn't want to live there because of sprawl and hideous crowded highways everywhere, but there are plenty of good things about it. Except the racism and homophobia, obvs.


Posted by: Sir Kraab | Link to this comment | 12-14-09 1:48 PM
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We got trapped there a couple of years ago when we missed a flight around Christmas

I initially read this as "We got trapped there for a couple of years when we missed a flight around Christmas." Harsh penalty, even in these days of punitive excesses by airlines.


Posted by: Sir Kraab | Link to this comment | 12-14-09 1:51 PM
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BTW, I believe I've said 59 like a million other times. Sorry for being a repetitive bore (and boor).


Posted by: Sir Kraab | Link to this comment | 12-14-09 1:52 PM
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||

I'm grouchy and in pain, because I was at the doctor today, so I have a mini Ask the Mineshaft.

This Christmas I'm going to be in Canada and will see my BF's sister-in-law. She has in the past said, "You two should get married. When are you two going to get married?" I find this terribly annoying and intrusive. It's none of her business, and there are complicating financial and family reasons not to marry for a while, and I don't know if I want to. Also, she's the sort of person who was planning her wedding since she first started dating her husband 7 years ago, whereas I would like to delegate all of the planning work to somebody else. I sometimes think that she doesn't get that there's a lot more to a marriage than a wedding day, but I don't know.

And it always seems a bot off and out of key to me. I don't know whether this is because her first language is Polish. In fact, having a conversation with her Mom in English is quite challenging.

Thus far, I've sort of smiled weakly, and I'm not sure how to proceed. These are the options that I see:

1.) Continue to smile weakly.
2.) Say straight out in the moment, "Please stop saying that. I find it really offensive."
3.) Pull her aside privately and ask her to drop the teasing.
4.) Tell BF's Mom who will then tell her.


I don't like option 4 very much. It seems childish to me, but it does seem to be the modus operandi of the family.

I am very tempted by 2, but it might embarrass her which I'm sure that part of me wants to do. It also might be the only thing that will work.

Two seems to be a bit harder, because it requires finding a moment alone with her.

Thoughts? Sympathy?

|>


Posted by: Bostoniangirl | Link to this comment | 12-14-09 2:57 PM
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Tell her in front of others that you would much rather talk about a trip or about family pets, something that you would perfer for a conversational topic; you've heard that Tierra del Fuego is lovely or does she like horses.

Don't just change the subject-- telll her with a smile if at all possible that you are purposely choosing something different to talk about. Central europeans often do not understand politely declining to eat or to respond, since everybody does that whether they intend to actually decline or not. Redirection is not the same as declining, much more meaningful. Unless you actually hate her, think of something personal that you can discuss.


Posted by: lw | Link to this comment | 12-14-09 3:14 PM
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I've responded to that sort of thing in the past with a stony look and "we'll tell you when we're ready." That sort of barely polite suppressed anger works best in the moment, though.


Posted by: Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 12-14-09 3:17 PM
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My traditional answer to that was always "when we find the right people." Generally doesn't asked twice.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 12-14-09 3:22 PM
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Unless you actually hate her, think of something personal that you can discuss.

I do dislike her, but I'm supposed to be trying to be nice.


Posted by: Bostoniangirl | Link to this comment | 12-14-09 3:25 PM
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Tell her you are boycotting marriage so long as gay people can't get married. Tell her to work for the repeal of DOMA.


Posted by: Megan | Link to this comment | 12-14-09 3:44 PM
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Tell her "not until same-sex couples have the same rights to marry as we do."


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 12-14-09 3:49 PM
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Hmmm. I oughta refresh before commenting. But then where's the fun in that?


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 12-14-09 3:49 PM
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Tell her "not until same-sex couples have the same rights to marry as we do, IN POLAND."


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 12-14-09 3:51 PM
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65 is awesome. Sadly, I'd probably go with "we'll be sure and let you know."

Perhaps followed with "when are you two going to have a(nother) baby?".


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 12-14-09 3:53 PM
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'After 2012, when the calendar renews. If the calendar renews.


Posted by: CharleyCarp | Link to this comment | 12-14-09 4:00 PM
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Tell her that according to J. L. Austin, you'll get married when a duly sanctioned person performs the appropriate illocutionary act under the appropriate circumstances.


Posted by: Otto von Bisquick | Link to this comment | 12-14-09 4:03 PM
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Tell her your astrologer hasn't found an auspicious date yet.


Posted by: Megan | Link to this comment | 12-14-09 4:07 PM
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||

When I read DOMA it reminded me of something that made me laugh out loud then feel appalled at my horrible self. When Berlusconi was assaulted at the weekend, he was clobbered with a scale model statuette of the Milan Duomo. OK you obviously shouldn't hospitalise even very evil old creepy monsters with metal replicas of Great Italian Architecture. But there is something kind of, I don't know, poetic about this.

|>


Posted by: tierce de lollardie | Link to this comment | 12-14-09 4:07 PM
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Because it's a port city

This perhaps should be in the other thread, but I once heard (in a lecture) that because Houston is a port city, they actually have a fairly large gay population (where people were discharged from the army/navy post-WWII, gay communities tended to grow up, and Houston was one of them, along with the more famous communities in SF, etc). I've nothing to back that up, but it seems to make sense.

Also, in other Texas related matters, what do actual Texans think of Friday Night Lights? (The TV show, not the movie or the book.)


Posted by: Parenthetical | Link to this comment | 12-14-09 4:16 PM
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Mitch,

She's a Canadian citizen now--been there for at least 20 years. Both Ontario and Massachusetts do have gay marriage, and I think that gay couples are taxed the same in Canada as straight ones. They actually have common law marriage too.


Posted by: Bostoniangirl | Link to this comment | 12-14-09 4:40 PM
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"we'll be sure and let you know"

This is right. The key is to repeat this (or choose another mild polite-on-the-surface phrase) *every single time* she asks.

Re: 2, there's no reason to tell her it's offensive unless you want to start a fight, though JM's stony-faced suggestion does let you express a little of your anger.


Posted by: Sir Kraab | Link to this comment | 12-14-09 4:41 PM
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71: Sadly, there were horrible jokes at her wedding reception about her finishing her Ph.D. before her water breaks. She talks about wanting kids a fair amount. She already has a dog that she babies.


Posted by: Bostoniangirl | Link to this comment | 12-14-09 4:42 PM
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Thanks Sir K. I do think that I want to express my anger, but I also realize that I probably shouldn't.


Posted by: Bostoniangirl | Link to this comment | 12-14-09 4:44 PM
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what do actual Texans think of Friday Night Lights?

Actual Austinites (it's filmed here) are pro-FNL. (This is true of my cohort -- who couldn't give a good goddamn about high school football -- but I've heard positive things from others and the local paper likes it.)


Posted by: Sir Kraab | Link to this comment | 12-14-09 4:44 PM
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77: That's why I added the bit about Poland. She shouldn't be allowed to shirk her responsibility to bring about marriage equality just because she fled to Canada.


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 12-14-09 4:45 PM
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The only thing is, that "We'll let you know" doesn't work when she just says, "You two should get married. Why don't you get married soon?"


Posted by: Bostoniangirl | Link to this comment | 12-14-09 4:46 PM
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79: Has she finished her PhD? Because that's something else you could incessantly ask her about in response to her marriage questions.


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 12-14-09 4:47 PM
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what do actual Texans think of Friday Night Lights?

Um, "actual" Texans?


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 12-14-09 4:48 PM
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Can't you reply that it is a private decision?

Or what about just spontaneously bursting into tears? That'll put her off.


Posted by: Parenthetical | Link to this comment | 12-14-09 4:48 PM
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83: "Because we think marriage is too important to rush into."


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 12-14-09 4:48 PM
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"We'll be sure to try and get married before my water breaks."


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 12-14-09 4:49 PM
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Um, "actual" Texans?

Yes, actual Texans, as opposed to the fake ones in the show (I think that's what I meant. Don't question me on my word choice, it's almost never deliberate). My encounters with these mythic folk have only been through the media, I know not a one. (Beyond my aunt who currently lives in Houston but is really just a transplanted Californian.)


Posted by: Parenthetical | Link to this comment | 12-14-09 4:50 PM
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Well, I'm an actual Texan, and I like it. And it seems to be relatively popular. I don't have any statewide data though.


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 12-14-09 4:52 PM
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"Whenever Reverend Moon says it's time, I guess."


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 12-14-09 4:52 PM
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92

I wasn't really sure if you meant "the Texans among the Unfoggedetariat", or "real Texans, you know, like the guy in that video heebie posted, or something else.

I'm going to call you racist, just in case though.


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 12-14-09 4:54 PM
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90: Oh, I see what I did wrong with my question. I meant to ask if Texans feel like it's accurate.


Posted by: Parenthetical | Link to this comment | 12-14-09 4:54 PM
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There should be a close quotation marks thingie after "posted" in 92.


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 12-14-09 4:55 PM
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93 continued, Putting aside some plot details like, the entire character of Tim Riggins, the alcoholic high school Lothario.


Posted by: Parenthetical | Link to this comment | 12-14-09 4:56 PM
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91: I don't think she'd get the joke. I don't think she knows who he is.

And if I said the one about "When we meet the right people, there might be an entire family freakout that I don't want to deal with.

But still, I appreciate the humor.


Posted by: Bostoniangirl | Link to this comment | 12-14-09 5:00 PM
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I love FNL. Jammies and I are mildly stalking Tim Riggins. He plays hockey with Jammies. I don't think I have any special insight into how accurate it is - it feels pretty accurate except for the accelerated plotline. But it could be a small town anywhere. I don't think there is much specific to Texas about it.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 12-14-09 6:07 PM
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BG, you could always go with something like, "I'm so touched at how you have just really welcomed me into the family. If BF and I decide to get married some day, I will be lucky to have such great in-laws."


Posted by: Di Kotimy | Link to this comment | 12-14-09 6:11 PM
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I have kind of a stupid question. The "When are you going to get married?" thing falls into the hole in my brain where other people have boundaries.

But I'm genuinely curious, if someone will spell it out for me: what exactly is the problem with the question? Is it that people tend to ask it several times, instead of respecting your answer?


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 12-14-09 6:15 PM
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Or the nosiness? Or the implication that that must be the trajectory?


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 12-14-09 6:17 PM
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Kobe: I can't speak for BG, but for me it's the assumption that *of course* you want to get married and that any other kind of relationship doesn't match up. (And that assumption is usually backed up with other assumptions, like what kind of wedding you'd have and the notion that her wedding day is the most important day in any woman's life.)


Posted by: Josh | Link to this comment | 12-14-09 6:33 PM
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99, 100: I tend to think it's the last thing mostly, the implication that "you should" and the presumptiveness of thinking one has a right to any input on such a decision.


Posted by: Di Kotimy | Link to this comment | 12-14-09 6:33 PM
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One could also imagine a situation where one party in a relationship wants to get married and the other party is just not quite sure yet, and this disagreement has led to tension in the couple. If you were to ask the couple when they were getting married, they might not appreciate having to deal with this sensitive issue again in public.


Posted by: Otto von Bisquick | Link to this comment | 12-14-09 6:39 PM
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There's also the intrusion into the relationship. If a couple doesn't have wedding plans, it's because one or both of them either isn't ready yet, isn't sure the relationship is going there or is sure that it isn't. And all of those can be points of tension within a relationship either if you're not on the same page, or you're not sure whether you are. Getting asked the question publicly can mean exposing an area of the relationship that's not ready for public consumption.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 12-14-09 6:41 PM
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Jammies and I are mildly stalking Tim Riggins. He plays hockey with Jammies.

And millions of women across the nation are now incredibly jealous of you. And Jammies. (Yes, including myself.)

I don't think there is much specific to Texas about it.

Hm, I grew up in a fairly small, rural, conservative town (but still on the CA coast, so) and while high school football was a fun activity, it wasn't anything like what I perceive is the state of affairs in Texas. But yeah, you're definitely right about it being about small town America at large, not just Texas.

(Mostly, I just wanted to share how much I've been loving the show since I finally broke down and watched it.)


Posted by: Parenthetical | Link to this comment | 12-14-09 6:42 PM
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Otto-pwned. But it's not just when there's existing conflict - lots of couples don't know if there is conflict because they haven't felt ready to go there yet.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 12-14-09 6:43 PM
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106: Yes, you added value--I also wanted to make the point that it could be uncomfortable even when the issue hasn't been much discussed or the source of conflict, but was too lazy to figure out how exactly to say that.


Posted by: Otto von Bisquick | Link to this comment | 12-14-09 6:46 PM
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A little bit of what LB said and a lot of Josh's point about "of course, it's the most important day in a woman's life." Also, I don't feel like going into the details of student loan payment plans and the like, since we're not close. But mostly, it's the other stuff. His parents totally want me to marry him, but they sort of said once that they hoped that would happen some day an they consider me family, but his Mom doesn't go on about it.


Posted by: Bostoniangirl | Link to this comment | 12-14-09 6:49 PM
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Those all make sense. I don't know why I lack the sense to keep anything private.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 12-14-09 6:50 PM
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for me it's the assumption that *of course* you want to get married and that any other kind of relationship doesn't match up.

This. That assumption is way out of bounds, ruling out all sorts of relationship types that don't happen to involve marriage. It's especially obnoxious if a couple has only been together for a year or two.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 12-14-09 6:51 PM
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I just get so flattered when people ask me nosy questions, that I don't think to get offended. I'd just gush about how we're in the early stages; isn't marriage like a bird cage; etc.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 12-14-09 6:54 PM
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I'd just gush about how we're in the early stages

But see, what if you're not in the early stages? What if you're just living together, and haven't discussed getting married? The problem is not that people are being nosy (though there's that); it's that they're being pushy.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 12-14-09 6:59 PM
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113

||

Anybody have a gift idea for a middle-aged wage slave rejuvenated by their recent (and quite successful) push to unionize their workplace? Maybe like an engaging history of unions, or a DIY giant rat balloon, or some shit like that?

|>


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 12-14-09 7:01 PM
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Labor films! Norma Rae, Salt of the Earth, and my personal favorite, The Devil and Miss Jones.


Posted by: jms | Link to this comment | 12-14-09 7:03 PM
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But see, what if you're not in the early stages? What if you're just living together, and haven't discussed getting married?

My MO would just be to be totally straight with them. "Oh, we're just living together. We don't even really kick the idea around."

I'm not saying I'm correctly reading the situation, not to be offended.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 12-14-09 7:23 PM
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Posted by: | Link to this comment | 12-14-09 7:28 PM
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hobogoldangitay!


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 12-14-09 7:30 PM
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113: LB once recommended (and even sent me a copy of!) Which Side Are You On?, which seems apt.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 12-14-09 7:30 PM
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Whether you can be totally straight with them is dependent on them and the circumstances. In some situations it would be like dropping a bombshell.

Suffice it to say that it's very uncool to assume that people are on the marriage-and-babies track, or that they're heterosexual, or anything else along those lines. My brother -- who's gay -- went through a lot of that kind of annoying questioning from extended family, about when they were going to meet his girlfriend, and so on. Ixnay. Don't assume, don't push.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 12-14-09 7:31 PM
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Hey, it's not me that's bugging BG.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 12-14-09 7:36 PM
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As far as I know. But since she is bringing up her boyfriend, I've been meaning to ask...


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 12-14-09 7:37 PM
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"...is he hung like Tommy Lee?" That's really uncouth, heebie. Totally not cool.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 12-14-09 7:40 PM
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"...does he pee in the bathtub?"


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 12-14-09 7:42 PM
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"...does he like my idea for left turn signs?"


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 12-14-09 7:44 PM
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"...do his farts smell of bacon?"


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 12-14-09 7:44 PM
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"...do birds suddenly appear any time he is near?"


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 12-14-09 7:45 PM
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<Insert a bunch of Houston stuff I've posted before here including good food and modern art and voting on a referendum that merely said no discrimination in city jobs based on sexual orientation that went down by about 88-12%*>

*This was in 1983 or '84, however.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 12-14-09 8:46 PM
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We get the "when are you having another baby?" question a lot.

The real answer is "we can't" which tends to take the conversation down an awkward track. I would love a pithy way to dismiss that question.


Posted by: William H. Taft | Link to this comment | 12-14-09 9:27 PM
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"You can't have a baby."


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 12-14-09 9:32 PM
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130

128: "We're happy with one (or x number of children), thanks."


Posted by: Parenthetical | Link to this comment | 12-14-09 9:32 PM
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"When are you going to start minding your own god-damn business?"


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 12-14-09 9:34 PM
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"You can't have a baby."

When are you guys going to fuck up a baby?


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 12-14-09 9:37 PM
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131 is the preferred answer, delivered with an ice cold stare. Although we usually wimp out and go with 130.


Posted by: William H. Taft | Link to this comment | 12-14-09 9:53 PM
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Anybody have a gift idea for a middle-aged wage slave rejuvenated by their recent (and quite successful) push to unionize their workplace? Maybe like an engaging history of unions, or a DIY giant rat balloon, or some shit like that?

Are we talking more Frank Sobotka or more Cesar Chavez in militancy/outlook/sympathies?

On the militant side:

The Wobblies' 2010 Labor History Calendar

Just Seeds' "Battle of Blair Mountain" Poster


Posted by: Criminally Bulgur | Link to this comment | 12-14-09 9:54 PM
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I'm so glad that I never get these sorts of questions. Though my grandfather does always inquire about my love life, which makes me squirm. But that's just well-intentioned love.


Posted by: Parenthetical | Link to this comment | 12-14-09 9:55 PM
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It was only recently that I learned that the wobblies still exist.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 12-14-09 10:05 PM
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113: Striking Steel (very compelling memoir); union paraphernalia from aflcio.org; paraphernalia from his/her own union; Unions: The folks who brought you the weekend t-shirt; I love this poster; other good posters.


Posted by: Sir Kraab | Link to this comment | 12-14-09 10:13 PM
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From the Folks Who Brought You the Weekend: A Short, Illustrated History of Labor in the United States is a good starter history.

You should of course buy any books from Powell's. (Wow, I haven't gotten to beat that drum in a while!)


Posted by: Sir Kraab | Link to this comment | 12-14-09 10:21 PM
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136: Wobblies weeble, but they don't fall down.


Posted by: Sir Kraab | Link to this comment | 12-14-09 10:22 PM
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The Devil and Miss Jones

Such a great film, but apparently not available on DVD.( Salt of the Earth is on the internet archive, incidentally.)

Also, Harlan County, Kentucky is good, but IIRC more tough than uplifting.

I've been reading Steven Greenhouse's The Big Squeeze, which just came out last year. It's more about the consequences of not having unions - at least the stories in the first part almost all involve non-unionized workplaces, I think he takes up unions later and I don't know what he says about them - but I can recommend it so far.


Posted by: eb | Link to this comment | 12-15-09 1:13 AM
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You could also assign generously give them a copy of Michael Rogin's article about The Devil in Miss Jones. You know, for the non-historian who has everything (except academic history).


Posted by: eb | Link to this comment | 12-15-09 1:15 AM
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I'd heard of "The Devil in Miss Jones" many times, but never had any idea there was a movie called "The Devil and Miss Jones".


Posted by: Cryptic neeed | Link to this comment | 12-15-09 1:18 AM
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I really like when people ask rude questions, because then i can ask rude questions back at them. Sometimes they even say something interesting because they're flustered. Its not often you get a good, honest chance to be cruel without malice, so i revel in it. (vicious without spite? innocently cutting? i can't think of a really precise way for that sentence to be written)

Though, i really just don't give a shit about my relatives (excluding my sister and parents, though). If they ask, i don't care enough to ramp up the tension. My sister makes a point of making things awkward if grandma or someone says something too sexists or homophobic, and ra-ra for her, but really, its older white evangelicals. I'd rather be brief and go back to staring out the window or something. my original point was more for 'peer' type people. you need some desire for intimacy to exchange strong emotions.


Posted by: yoyo | Link to this comment | 12-15-09 1:26 AM
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pbr says its union made. i'd be happy to get some of that.


Posted by: yoyo | Link to this comment | 12-15-09 1:37 AM
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can't believe i made post 143 in this threa,d when there is the muh more apporopriot thread called 'Christ, What an Asshole'


Posted by: yoyo | Link to this comment | 12-15-09 2:33 AM
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oh, actually i was in the right thread. i haven't slept in a really long time.


Posted by: yoyo | Link to this comment | 12-15-09 3:14 AM
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138: Sir Kraab is awesome to point to the unionized Powell's, but I'll also make a plug for the Harvard bookstore which is the last general purpose semi-scholarly bookstore in the Square.


Posted by: Bostoniangirl | Link to this comment | 12-15-09 4:29 AM
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147: I fully support fully supporting your local independent non-giant-chain bookstores!


Posted by: Sir Kraab | Link to this comment | 12-15-09 7:40 AM
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142: Oh, I should have been careful with the preposition. In 141 "in" should have been "and".


Posted by: eb | Link to this comment | 12-15-09 9:48 AM
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