Re: From the culture desk

1

I can't believe nobody wants to respond to this.


Posted by: wispa | Link to this comment | 12-15-09 12:50 AM
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2

Maybe someone who wants to respond is asleep.


Posted by: eb | Link to this comment | 12-15-09 12:59 AM
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3

Or is peeing.


Posted by: Otto von Bisquick | Link to this comment | 12-15-09 1:00 AM
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4

Or both, another behaviour that may be delightfully decadent for some.


Posted by: teraz kurwa my | Link to this comment | 12-15-09 1:01 AM
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5

Simultaneously urinating and drinking is delightfully decadent.

As is eating a Tootsie Roll while defecating.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 12-15-09 5:04 AM
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6

With a few facts about kidney function, surely this would be convertible into a calculus problem as well.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 12-15-09 5:05 AM
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7

Simultaneously urinating and drinking while floating down a river in an innertube FTW.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 12-15-09 5:08 AM
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8

Has the mouseover text been kidnapped?


Posted by: Doug | Link to this comment | 12-15-09 5:13 AM
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9

There it is again!

Thanks Ben!


Posted by: Doug | Link to this comment | 12-15-09 5:38 AM
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10

I shit myself yesterday.

Do y'all wanna hear the story? It's a dog story, long in the telling. Humiliating, frightening, degrading and apt to damage my reputation.


Posted by: bob mcmanus | Link to this comment | 12-15-09 6:13 AM
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11

Real decadence is working out while listening to the new audiobook recordings of Robert E. Howard's Conan stories.

Right?


Posted by: Flippanter | Link to this comment | 12-15-09 6:20 AM
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12

Real decadence is going to war on behalf of people who don't share the same view of the world. Just once, I wish Tom Friedman would turn his phrase about washing rented cars to US policy, not just how Third Worlders regard their homes.


Posted by: CharleyCarp | Link to this comment | 12-15-09 6:51 AM
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13

I always thought drinking in the shower was pretty great, too.


Posted by: JL | Link to this comment | 12-15-09 7:43 AM
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hells yeah to 7. try not to get sunburned to badly as you deplete the cooler of beer floating in its own innertube. that's the life.


Posted by: alameida | Link to this comment | 12-15-09 7:45 AM
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13: Cold beer, hot shower = win.


Posted by: Chopper | Link to this comment | 12-15-09 8:26 AM
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Hells yeah to 10, too.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 12-15-09 8:27 AM
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Hell, I been fomenting pitchforks and guillotines at Yggles and I may have lost the mood, but I'll try.

A rare 70 degree day yesterday and the female dog was running on four legs so we went on one of our park/woods/lake runs for the first time in three months. It was great. I kept them on leashes and let them run and thought I had them under control. She was rolling in the tall grass with a big doggy grin.

Then we took a right and walked along the lakeside until we came to one of our favorite swimming spots. They went out in the water up to their bellies and I threw sticks and stones to make them swim.

And then they took off down the beach. I say beach, but we are talking about one foot of gravel and 500 yards of deep brush and trees. Inaccessible. No way I could follow them. They did not come when I called, and soon I could not hear them moving. Gone.

So I am walking the paths and calling them for an hour with no response. I call the lady and she drives the neighborhood looking. No luck.

I finally leave the paths and try the forest at lakeside. In the distance I see the male in a hillock. My guess was correct, that they had gotten their leashes caught. As I approach I see the hillock is a tall island, surrounded by rushy swamp about four foot water deep. The rushes are tangled and intertwined, and "wading" is not a word to use when the icy water is to my chest and my feet are sinking in a foot of mud. So I tear my way thru the rushes to the dogs, who are tangled and tired and scared but ok. I unleashed them. The male took off to show me the path out, the female sticks with me.

I was not doing well, having already spent two hours fast walking with anxiety while yelling. At one point I could not catch my breath and I thought I was gone. That is when my bowels loosened. No place to sit, very hard to keep my balance, nothing solid to grab. Lost one of my shoes in the mud. The cellphone was wet and not working. I overcame the panic attack and tried to follow the dogs to the shallower spots and eventually dry land, with a lot of breaks. Probably took me an half hour to get thirty feet.

But I made it to dry land, took a half hour break, releashed and walked the dogs to the street where the lady picked us up. After baths everybody is ok fine, except I need new shoes and a cellphone.

Adventure!! Not the first, there was the time I had to save the dog from the rushing river with very slick banks. Lost a cellphone that time too. The time I walked around White Rock Lake (10-20 miles) until it was pitchdark and all I had was sunglasses. Blind.

Adventure! I guess the three of us are lucky to live in boring terrain.

Stupid, crazy, irresponsible. But I kinda want to die under a tree.


Posted by: bob mcmanus | Link to this comment | 12-15-09 9:58 AM
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Wow. That sounds intense. Glad the pups and you are all ok.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 12-15-09 10:04 AM
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As I was writing I noticed 20-30 fire ant bumps in my right arm. Amazing how little I notice them when they bite.


Posted by: bob mcmanus | Link to this comment | 12-15-09 10:04 AM
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20

I don't think saving your dogs from the bog is reputation damaging.

I was hoping for some sort of act of moral turpitude, followed with "and then I crapped my pants."


Posted by: text | Link to this comment | 12-15-09 10:31 AM
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Like, "I figured what's the big deal -- nobody's going to miss those lollipops, and in they slid delicately into my coat pocket, yes, lovely dumdums -- and then I crapped my pants."


Posted by: text | Link to this comment | 12-15-09 10:33 AM
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22

I'm glad you and the dogs are ok.


Posted by: text | Link to this comment | 12-15-09 10:35 AM
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23

I'm with text: sacrifice in service of animal stewardship is reputation enhancing. Glad it all turned out okay, if messy.


Posted by: ari | Link to this comment | 12-15-09 11:05 AM
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24

Apparently I have been banned at Yglesias!

Woooot!


Posted by: bob mcmanus | Link to this comment | 12-15-09 11:27 AM
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25: For soiling yourself?


Posted by: JRoth | Link to this comment | 12-15-09 11:35 AM
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26: No, I'm not for soiling myself.


Posted by: JRoth | Link to this comment | 12-15-09 11:35 AM
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and then I crapped my pants five dollars

Fixed.


Posted by: Robust McManlyPants | Link to this comment | 12-15-09 12:11 PM
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28

Know who else poops in his pants? Geoge Brett.


Posted by: Spike | Link to this comment | 12-15-09 12:18 PM
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29

I'm not entirely satisfied with the turn this thread has taken.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 12-15-09 12:19 PM
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30

Maybe you'd feel better if you voided your bowels.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 12-15-09 12:24 PM
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I'm not entirely satisfied with the turn this thread has taken.

Simultaneously posting and commenting would probably feel delightfully decadent, blotting this from one's mind.


Posted by: Robust McManlyPants | Link to this comment | 12-15-09 12:44 PM
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28: ""The most perfect double-tapered shit of my life..."

I'll admit that from time to time I glance in the bowl and feel a sense of smug satisfaction at the product of my labors, but never, not once, have I felt the need to put into words the detailed geometry of the specimen.


Posted by: togolosh | Link to this comment | 12-15-09 12:58 PM
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33

Breaking my commenting hiatus because I can't resist relating a pertinent joke:

Aimes-tu manger épicé?
-- Oui, mais pas en même temps.


Posted by: pain perdu | Link to this comment | 12-15-09 1:05 PM
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34

So what's the joke here?


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 12-15-09 1:16 PM
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35

manger et pisser


Posted by: Cryptic ned | Link to this comment | 12-15-09 1:20 PM
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36

ahhhh


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 12-15-09 1:22 PM
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34: My French is pretty bad, but I think the joke is that "Have you eaten spice?" sounds like "Have you eat and pissed?" Punchline being, "yes, but not at the same time."

Is that close?


Posted by: Spike | Link to this comment | 12-15-09 2:06 PM
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38

bing translation tells me "Have you eaten" should be "do you like to eat"


Posted by: Spike | Link to this comment | 12-15-09 2:08 PM
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39

A non-literal, but more comprehensible translation:
"Do you like eating spicy foods?"
which sounds the same as "Do you like eating and pissing?"

Punchline being, as Spike says, "Yes, but not at the same time."


Posted by: pain perdu | Link to this comment | 12-15-09 2:20 PM
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40

39: That joke is much funnier when you tell it. Know any other French jokes?


Posted by: Spike | Link to this comment | 12-15-09 2:54 PM
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41

Bilingual vaudeville:

--Ah, c'est dommage.
--Dommage.


Posted by: Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 12-15-09 3:02 PM
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42

||

Oh, local media, why must you suck so very, very much?

|>


Posted by: Not Prince Hamlet | Link to this comment | 12-15-09 3:18 PM
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40: I know comparatively few that don't translate into English.

Here's one of them:

Une hôtesse de l'air chez Air France à sa collègue: "Je vais voir à la queue s'il-y-a des nouvelles têtes."

Sa collègue: "Moi, je fais le contraire."


Posted by: pain perdu | Link to this comment | 12-15-09 3:20 PM
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44

43: I'll see if there's a new head in the tail?


Posted by: Spike | Link to this comment | 12-15-09 3:54 PM
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45

I'm confused. Was this thread supposed to be about James Joyce or platypussy monotremes or the Greek guy and his river?

neb is so cryptic.


Posted by: bob mcmanus | Link to this comment | 12-15-09 4:56 PM
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46

Quel était ton sujet preferé à l'ecole?
-- math et dessins.

(mater des seins)


Posted by: U. Awl | Link to this comment | 12-15-09 5:00 PM
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Um:

"What was your favourite subject at school?"
"Math and drawing."
Sounds like: staring at breasts.


Posted by: U. Awl | Link to this comment | 12-15-09 5:01 PM
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48

I'll see if there's a new head in the tail?

"I'll see if there are any new heads [i.e. people] in the tail [i.e. in the back of the plane]."

"I'll do the reverse" = "I'll see if there are any new tails [N.B. vulgar slang for penises] in the head [i.e. the cockpit]."


Posted by: pain perdu | Link to this comment | 12-15-09 5:44 PM
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Awesomeness of 46 duly noted.


Posted by: pain perdu | Link to this comment | 12-15-09 5:51 PM
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I suppose any thread that begins with Nosflow musing about excretory functions was doomed to an early death. But after the comments veered off into untranslateable jeux de mots, the outcome was really overdetermined. Not even Awl's heroic effort to enliven it with discussion of schoolgirl breasts could save it.


Posted by: pain perdu | Link to this comment | 12-16-09 5:23 AM
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Monsieur Perdu!

So, speaking of companions of St. Nicholas, has the epic "Agents of S.A.N.T.A" been linked here yet?

(Start on December 10th with "Assemble the Agents of Santa" and go forward from there)


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 12-16-09 9:05 AM
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||
Has anyone used crazyblinddate recently? I tried singing up for the past couple days in Austin, as a way of passing the time between finals and my flight home, but got zero responses. Is this something no one uses now that the novelty has worn off?
|>


Posted by: amb | Link to this comment | 12-16-09 6:50 PM
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