Re: Stinko de Mayonesa

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Oh, and I added some cumin and fresh cilantro, too. Because I'm the spiciest.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 05- 4-10 8:48 PM
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There's lots of cilantro at market these days, and I tell you. I have chopped cilantro, yellow onion, lemon and salt in a couple meals a day. It is especially good with fried eggs and black beans.


Posted by: Megan | Link to this comment | 05- 4-10 8:53 PM
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Kasha and sriracha: a flavor combination whose time has come.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 05- 4-10 9:00 PM
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It's mole.


Posted by: Cryptic ned | Link to this comment | 05- 4-10 9:00 PM
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I've always (FSV of "always") thought it was funny that Camerone Day and Cinco De Mayo celebrate battles with different outcomes in the same war. Are there any other opposite holidays like that? I can't think of any off the top of my head. Not that we see too many Legionnaires parading down Lake St. on 30 April of course, but wouldn't everyone be so confused if they did?


Posted by: Natilo Paennim | Link to this comment | 05- 4-10 9:03 PM
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5: Virginia just celebrated Confederate History Month.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 05- 4-10 9:08 PM
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Also from Wikipedia, I always get a kick out of telling people that both of my parents were in the Army. But the current pretender to the throne of the Empire of Mexico does me one better: Both of his parents were named "Maria".


Posted by: Natilo Paennim | Link to this comment | 05- 4-10 9:09 PM
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6: Yeah, but that doesn't coincide with Juneteenth or anything. I was thinking maybe there's something similar in Ireland.


Posted by: Natilo Paennim | Link to this comment | 05- 4-10 9:10 PM
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May Day in the US?


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 05- 4-10 9:11 PM
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Does anyone know the name or nature of that parody of a telenovela in which the only dialogue was "Maria" said in various ways?


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 05- 4-10 9:16 PM
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9: Well, there's competing interpretations of May Day, but they're not really opposed in the way that the Mexican example is. It's not like Chicago cops or witch-burning fundamentalists have a May Day celebration.


Posted by: Natilo Paennim | Link to this comment | 05- 4-10 9:22 PM
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¿Qué haremos sobre Maria?


Posted by: fake accent | Link to this comment | 05- 4-10 9:23 PM
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I really like Steve Sando's recipe for salsa -

14.5 oz canned tomatoes
1-2 peppers (serrano or jalapeno)
nice wedge of red onion
clove of garlic
lime juice (1-2 limes, or more to taste)
handful of cilantro
salt and pepper to taste

Roast the peppers, onion, and garlic until toasty in a hot skillet. (Garlic takes longest.)

Dump all ingredients into a food processor or blender. Only pulse it a few times. Voila.

Also, I just burnt my finger and ruined a zucchini pancake. Should have made salsa instead.


Posted by: Parenthetical | Link to this comment | 05- 4-10 9:34 PM
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clove of garlic

Ooh, yes. I added garlic. Possibly just because this garlic press really is king shit of fuck mountain. I love it.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 05- 4-10 9:38 PM
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Googling related to 5 has revealed that Japan has the coolest public holidays. A lot of them just celebrate types of virtuous activity.


Posted by: Criminally Bulgur | Link to this comment | 05- 4-10 9:45 PM
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15: Like ramen and penises?

Also, apropos of nothing, why are CO2 chargers for home seltzer bottles not allowed to be sold on Catalina Island?


Posted by: Natilo Paennim | Link to this comment | 05- 4-10 9:46 PM
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One can recognizably ruin a zucchini pancake?


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 05- 4-10 9:54 PM
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why are CO2 chargers for home seltzer bottles not allowed to be sold on Catalina Island?

Is this some kind of brain teaser?


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 05- 4-10 9:55 PM
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17: One can turn it into something that does not resemble a pancake so much as crumbs, yes. I am a horrible pancake flipper. However, it turns out that it tasted fantastic, so the burn was worth it.


Posted by: Parenthetical | Link to this comment | 05- 4-10 10:05 PM
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the burn was worth it gentlemenz.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 05- 4-10 10:07 PM
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18: Is this some kind of brain teaser?

Kind of. 463,000 hits returned in Google for "This item is not for sale in Catalina Island ". Common theme seems to be any kind of gas under pressure--sprays, fragrances, compressors etc.. Have not yet found a reference to an ordinance, however.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 05- 4-10 10:23 PM
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I suspect it is related to this:

"What can a small town of 3,500 residents do to solve the problems of the world?" asks Avalon's mayor, a diving-shop owner and long-time Catalina resident called Bob Kennedy. "We can educate a million visitors a year. We can plan for a model community. We want to be more responsible custodians of the environment, whether global warming is truly a phenomenon or not."
The dream scenario, as laid out in a local blueprint known as the 2020 Vision Plan, would have Catalina generating most, if not all, of its power from renewable solar, wind and ocean resources. The landfill waste would be recycled as ethanol or used as a fuel source in itself by being burnt using state-of-the-art, clean technologies. The cars and golf carts the residents use to get around the small network of paved roads would be zero-emission electric vehicles. Much of the island's potable water would be produced by an energy-efficient desalination plant.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 05- 4-10 10:44 PM
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And thanks to the wonderful ways of online advertising there are some results for "This memorandum not for sale in Catalina Island" (shown under aerosol products).


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 05- 4-10 10:55 PM
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From the link in 14: "so you never have to touch the garlic."

Because then your fingers might smell! Of garlic! Oh noes!!


Posted by: Sir Kraab | Link to this comment | 05- 4-10 11:44 PM
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i've messed up enough dishes i really only simmer garlic now, not 'toast' or 'fry' it. garlic powder if i'm making fries.

If i were going to make cooked salsa (and am not going to, when summer comes there will be FRESH salsa), i would add chipotles to it. Actually just some ancho powder might be fine if you have the tomatoe base already.


Posted by: yoyo | Link to this comment | 05- 5-10 2:05 AM
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As an aside, a South American cow-worker shared with me that she's constantly asked by USians what her people do for Cinco de Mayo, which she finds hilariously dumb. As do I.

I have been told by Mexicans in Mexico that they do not celebrate Cinco de Mayo either. Apparently it is a minor holiday celebrated mostly by Mexican-Americans in the US. Their Independence Day is in September.


Posted by: Idealist | Link to this comment | 05- 5-10 4:35 AM
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Relatives living in Ireland have told me that the traditional Irish St. Patrick's Day celebration is watching a couple of minutes of the NYC parade on the telly.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 05- 5-10 4:54 AM
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when summer comes there will be FRESH salsa

I can never get the balance of ingredients to my taste in fresh salsa. When you char everything to start with and then toss it all in the blender, there's so much more leeway.

I learned this from a Mexican roommate, who made salsa with tomatoes and jalapenos (occasionally other ingredients, but mostly just that) every day. I ate so much fucking salsa that year.


Posted by: Blume | Link to this comment | 05- 5-10 5:09 AM
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To the OP, if you want salsa that tastes like cooked canned tomatoes, wouldn't it be more straightforward to buy ready-made salsa? The Rick Bayless stuff they sell at Whole Foods is pretty respectable, IMO, and not significantly more expensive than assembling your ingredient list and doing it yourself. If you really must, you could give the jarred salsa some fresh notes by adding some chopped cilantro or fresh lime juice.


Posted by: Knecht Ruprecht | Link to this comment | 05- 5-10 5:25 AM
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It would not at all surprise me if Catalina Island had a ban on most single-serving or disposable products. I know you can't buy travel-sized toothpaste there.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 05- 5-10 6:11 AM
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Given that Cinco de Mayo celebrates, basically, telling a debt collector to stick it, I'm guessing the holiday will become more widely celebrated in the next few years.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 05- 5-10 6:18 AM
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Apparently it is a minor holiday celebrated mostly by Poblanos. And American beer companies, of course.


Posted by: Witt | Link to this comment | 05- 5-10 6:22 AM
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Does anybody but me still say "stick it" in that sense?


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 05- 5-10 6:22 AM
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Pretend I got the formatting right.


Posted by: Witt | Link to this comment | 05- 5-10 6:22 AM
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Does anybody but me still say "stick it" in that sense?

I'd probably say "shove it", so, close?


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 05- 5-10 6:59 AM
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Alternatively, "go pound sand" or "go pound salt". I'd definitely say one of those.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 05- 5-10 7:00 AM
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Also "get stuffed".


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 05- 5-10 7:01 AM
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I think "stuff it" or "shove it" has replaced "stick it." Ours is a language in decline.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 05- 5-10 7:06 AM
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But, after being reminded of the phrase, I intend to use "go pound sand" more frequently.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 05- 5-10 7:12 AM
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Stick It is the name of the gymnastics knock-off of Bring it On.

"I'm so sure, I'm deoderant."


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 05- 5-10 7:14 AM
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39: I'm pretty sure I stole it from LB, who has given me, perhaps unknowingly, many colorful expressions.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 05- 5-10 7:16 AM
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"Pound sand" is technically somewhat less colorful than "stick it", referring as it does to leaving by the mechanism of walking, as opposed to the latter's reference to sticking your head up your ass.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 05- 5-10 7:17 AM
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41: It isn't just LB who uses it. It is (or was) very common.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 05- 5-10 7:19 AM
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salsa that tastes like cooked canned tomatoes

What's interesting (and perhaps my plebian taste buds are simply inexperienced, next to yours) is that the immediate byproduct does indeed taste of canned tomatoes, but after sitting overnight, the salsa quite closely represents what one finds in any Americanized Mexican food joint. Which ain't out-of-this-world crazy great, but it's quite munchable.

I was shocked to learn, after munching on this guy's salsa for several chips that it had canned tomato sauce in it.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 05- 5-10 7:20 AM
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the salsa quite closely represents what one finds in any Americanized Mexican food joint

Which is... made from canned tomatoes, I'd think.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 05- 5-10 7:22 AM
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referring as it does to leaving by the mechanism of walking

I was of the impression that the expression meant to suggest that one pound sand/salt up one's bunghole, while also having the nicer interpretation of pounding the sand with one's feet as one stomped away.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 05- 5-10 7:24 AM
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46: huh, that's interesting. Henceforth I will assume it does carry that implication.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 05- 5-10 7:28 AM
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I think I've mentioned this, but during my enforced holeup in the Peabody on Orlando's fabulous International Drive, I kept encountering the word "cilantro", which I thought was some kind of horrific nutra-ceutical gunk elaborated from ethylene feedstocks in some vast refinery on the Gulf, and therefore avoided. Probably something that makes oil leak out of your arse?

Imagine my surprise the other day when I learned it was actually coriander.


Posted by: Alex | Link to this comment | 05- 5-10 7:33 AM
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1: One does love cumin in* salsa.

*lhude sing, cuccu.


Posted by: Mister Smearcase | Link to this comment | 05- 5-10 7:35 AM
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24: surely the youtube link of a few weeks ago, with all those sad, sad souls cracking treacherous eggs outside the treacherous frying pan has a cut scene where someone touches garlic and then makes a pained face about smelling like garlic.


Posted by: Mister Smearcase | Link to this comment | 05- 5-10 7:39 AM
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Imagine my surprise the other day when I learned it was actually coriander.

Americans use the term coriander only for the seeds, and cilantro for the leaves.


Posted by: KR | Link to this comment | 05- 5-10 7:40 AM
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re: 50

And one where someone cuts chillies and then goes to the bathroom ...


Posted by: nattarGcM ttaM | Link to this comment | 05- 5-10 7:41 AM
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Knecht gets it right in 29. The OP recipe sounds like little to no improvement on decent store-bought salsa.


Posted by: Bave Dee | Link to this comment | 05- 5-10 7:54 AM
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53: I'm willing to wave my hands and say, "The gusty bus!" and call comity on that point. I certainly find it tastier than store-bought.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 05- 5-10 7:58 AM
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And quick and easy, I should add. I much prefer to go hog-wild with chopping all sorts of fresh veggies to go in, but for the in-a-pinch moments, when I need to whip something up? The OP recipe works great and impresses. (It helps that I'm usually serving it to a non-foodie crowd.)


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 05- 5-10 8:03 AM
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Do me a solid and go pound sand.


Posted by: Bave Dee | Link to this comment | 05- 5-10 8:10 AM
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54: Decent storebought salsa is not to be sniffed at, in any case. What you get in a restaurant--taqueria through "game hen confit enchilada" type of joint--often is cooked rather than salsa cruda and wont suffer unduly from preservation.


Posted by: Mister Smearcase | Link to this comment | 05- 5-10 8:13 AM
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56: Heh.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 05- 5-10 8:20 AM
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I'm pretty sure that even fancy-pants store-bought is all, always grosser than the stuff you get at the local Mexican restaurants. And I would guess the local restaurants use canned tomatoes.

Although using just tomato sauce and no tomatoes certainly seems suspect, in the OP.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 05- 5-10 8:32 AM
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59: I, too, was highly skeptical that the delicious salsa I was tasting could be had from just some fancied-up tomato sauce. And yet, it's delightful. Or I'm salsa-easy. Or both.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 05- 5-10 8:46 AM
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In my opinion, the biggest salsa error is under-salting your salsa. Not that over-salting isn't also gross, but people tend to under-salt.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 05- 5-10 8:51 AM
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Also, I like to pretend that the sidebar is having an argument:
"Stinko de Mayonesa!"
"Idiota! It's mole!"


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 05- 5-10 8:56 AM
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||
In unsurprising news the failed Times Square bombing is being used to bash legal immigrants and push for making legal immigration even harder.

Also the bomber guy is kind of a cutie. I'd let him carry my luggage.
|>


Posted by: togolosh | Link to this comment | 05- 5-10 9:36 AM
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*lhude sing, cuccu.

Groweþ sed and bloweþ med, goddamn.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 05- 5-10 9:57 AM
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I don't like raw tomatoes very much so I actually prefer salsa made with canned tomatoes, since then they've been cooked gently. If I make my normal salsa with raw tomatoes, I almost nearly always keep them in the boiling water longer than you are supposed to while removing the skins so that it's more to my liking.

My recipe isn't that different than Stanley's in some respects but I find it amazingly better than store-bought salsa, which I generally just don't like very much. (It's not quite as good as the peach salsa I canned a few years back that will probably never be replicated, though.)


Posted by: Parenthetical | Link to this comment | 05- 5-10 10:28 AM
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My mother has told me there's something about Hunt's tomato sauce that makes it genuinely stand out. It might have been something she heard on NPR.


Posted by: Minivet | Link to this comment | 05- 5-10 10:53 AM
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Or rather, Hunt's canned tomato products generally.


Posted by: Minivet | Link to this comment | 05- 5-10 10:53 AM
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I generally find that when some purchased food is unusually good and tasty, there is MSG in the ingredient list. Wouldn't surprise me at all if Hunt's puts some in. MSG doesn't give me headaches, though, so I don't mind.


Posted by: Megan | Link to this comment | 05- 5-10 11:00 AM
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f I make my normal salsa with raw tomatoes, I almost nearly always keep them in the boiling water longer than you are supposed to while removing the skins so that it's more to my liking.

You should toast them a bit, you can take the skins off and it improves the flavor.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 05- 5-10 11:06 AM
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'course I prefer tomatillo salsas anyway.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 05- 5-10 11:07 AM
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Of course.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 05- 5-10 11:07 AM
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It does sort of go without saying, since I'm a man of taste.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 05- 5-10 11:10 AM
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I've never had a tomatillo salsa that wasn't kind of slimey in a way I find off-putting despite being pretty tasty.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 05- 5-10 11:11 AM
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69: I make a roasted tomato salsa too, but frankly, turning the oven on means that it moves from something simple you whip up to something that I prefer not to do in the blazing heat of summer.


Posted by: Parenthetical | Link to this comment | 05- 5-10 11:13 AM
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I've never had a tomatillo salsa that was even slightly slimy. Maybe you're having incompetently prepared salsas?


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 05- 5-10 11:15 AM
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Maybe you're having incompetently prepared salsas?

Possibly, but the one I'm thinking of in particular is at a place called Aquí es México, and how could they get it wrong? There is Mexico, for Pedro's sake.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 05- 5-10 11:17 AM
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Phoenix: my new favorite NBA team.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 05- 5-10 11:34 AM
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I'm also unfamiliar with slimy tomatillo salsa. Perhaps Stanley puts okra in his?


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 05- 5-10 11:39 AM
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Perhaps the tomatillos were grown in Okrahoma.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 05- 5-10 11:45 AM
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Never talk honestly about food on the blog, Stanley. no good ever comes of this.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 05- 5-10 11:55 AM
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79: Brand new state!
Brand new state, gonna treat you great!
Gonna give you barley, carrots and armadillos*,
Pasture fer the cattle, spinach and termatillos!

*Actually they didn't get to Oklahoma until much later.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 05- 5-10 12:09 PM
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The little cans of Goya salsa verde (or some other comparable brand) are pretty good IMO--better than a lot of the fancier jars (let alone Tostitos brand or comparable, which I haven't eaten in years.)

My daughter is celebrating Cinco de Mayo by requesting cheese, then refusing anything but queso fresco/blanco for the last several weeks.


Posted by: Katherine | Link to this comment | 05- 5-10 1:39 PM
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Katherine!


Posted by: Cryptic ned | Link to this comment | 05- 5-10 1:41 PM
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Your daughter's asking for cheese already? The child's either a genius, or possibly a very large mouse.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 05- 5-10 1:42 PM
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82.1: I remember that phase. It is followed by no-poop phase, followed by the constant pooping phase.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 05- 5-10 1:46 PM
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73: There's a little Mexican place called Chipotle with very good tomatillo salsa.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 05- 5-10 1:47 PM
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||

I just learned a new Spanish slang term. I was jokingly singing the words la cuchara to the tune of "La Cucaracha". A cow-orker of Mexican descent pulled me aside to advise that maybe not the best thing to be singing, since in addition to "spoon" cuchara can apparently mean "ladybits".

The more you know!

|>


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 05- 5-10 1:48 PM
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87: I gather that in Brazilian Portuguese "undergrounds" means ladybits. Also genitalia are "documents" on the theory that the letter goes in the envelope. I don't know how widespread these terms are, but my Brazilian ex's folks used them routinely.


Posted by: togolosh | Link to this comment | 05- 5-10 1:54 PM
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Also genitalia are "documents" on the theory that the letter goes in the envelope

Not, I hope, after having been folded in thirds.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 05- 5-10 1:58 PM
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in addition to "spoon" cuchara can apparently mean "ladybits"

Interesting. From the leadoff track of Unfunkked 4, "Poontang" by Undisputed Truth:

People say I ought to be ashamed of myself
Because I don't make love like nobody else
You see I was in the war y'all and Lord I got wounded
And when I got home to my wife,
I got down on my knees and spooned it.
I used to hate it 'til I ate it (poontang).


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 05- 5-10 1:58 PM
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You found this out by telling someone that you really needed to get some filing done, and getting smacked for it?


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 05- 5-10 1:59 PM
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84: do you mean the talking or the liking of cheese? She is an earlyish talker but she's 16 mos.


Posted by: Katherine | Link to this comment | 05- 5-10 2:00 PM
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Now I'm imagining a Brazilian pr0n named Meet Me in Manila


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 05- 5-10 2:02 PM
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92: I was a couple of months off -- I thought she was just a bit over a year, which would be quite early for talking much.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 05- 5-10 2:03 PM
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s/Meet/Meat/


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 05- 5-10 2:04 PM
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Something could clearly be done with 'legal briefs' here, but I'm not going to work out the details.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 05- 5-10 2:04 PM
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95: I realized that was superior right after clicking "Post". Sigh.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 05- 5-10 2:05 PM
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I bet this grilled cheese sandwich is delicious.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 05- 5-10 6:22 PM
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80 -> 98


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 05- 5-10 6:29 PM
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Kobe! And to 99: I didn't really understand that admonishment. Usually, we end up talking about sex if someone brings up food. Why do you hate sex?


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 05- 5-10 6:31 PM
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Why do you hate sex?

Because I'm more of a people person than a loner.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 05- 5-10 6:36 PM
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LET ME MAKE THAT EXPLICIT FOR YOU ALL

JP is alluding to Frost's famous apothegm, "grex rather than sex".

OK.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 05- 5-10 6:40 PM
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100.ii.A: Earnestness inevitably ensues.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 05- 5-10 6:43 PM
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Nosfloweratu, you never cease to amaze.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 05- 5-10 6:44 PM
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Egregious!


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 05- 5-10 6:47 PM
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Yep, there is a giant chain of Mexican places call Chipotle, and it even has locations in Virginia. However, you can also get El Fenix "Martinex Family Host Sauce (Picante)" at Walmart in Virginia, should you visit such a retail establishment (not recommended for other products). In Virginia. It is sufficiently hot and servicably edible. After a couple of teaspoons, you should get a start on sweating.

That said, in Virginia, it is entirely possible to discover all new levels of abysmally bad Mexican food cooked in actual Mexican restaurants by (apparently) actual Hispanic persons. Including beef enchiladas made with no spices but lots of ground beef. Oh, well.

m, a sad night that was


Posted by: max | Link to this comment | 05- 5-10 6:54 PM
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106: Am I to take all those mentions of Virginia that the meet-up thread is making max anxious for a Virginia meet-up? Because we could probably make that happen.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 05- 5-10 6:56 PM
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Because we could probably make that happen...in Wisconsin.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 05- 5-10 7:03 PM
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108: It's such a great tagline, right? Mom would be so proud of me.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 05- 5-10 7:17 PM
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Mom would be so proud of me … down there.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 05- 5-10 7:21 PM
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Is this the bawdy thread?

Because I just found the most Mineshaftian Congressional candidate yet. Even more striking when you look at the campaign sign.


Posted by: ttiW | Link to this comment | 05- 5-10 9:12 PM
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111: Who knew that the real problem with Washington is MOLE?


Posted by: Not Prince Hamlet | Link to this comment | 05- 6-10 12:38 AM
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