Re: Last days of little kitty-cat

1

Oh honey, I'm sad to hear that. Which cat is it? The good one or the bad one?


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 06-28-10 7:52 AM
horizontal rule
2

The bad merely misunderstood one.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 06-28-10 7:52 AM
horizontal rule
3

Sorry, heebers. That's sad news.

My grandma used to breed Irish Setters and for some reason the older ones would always come live out their last years with us.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 06-28-10 7:54 AM
horizontal rule
4

3: Stanley lived on the proverbial farm!


Posted by: oudemia | Link to this comment | 06-28-10 7:55 AM
horizontal rule
5

I'm sorry, heebie.


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 06-28-10 8:11 AM
horizontal rule
6

That is very sad. I'm sure it's cold comfort in the short term, but it will eventually probably be quite nice to have people over.


Posted by: Beefo Meaty | Link to this comment | 06-28-10 8:11 AM
horizontal rule
7

4: Heh. I guess I sort of did. Which is kind of weird, but it probably inured us kids a bit against the saddest parts of losing a pet. And old Irish Setters, it turns out, are supremely patient with things like beketchupping youngsters and wily kittens named after characters from Cats.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 06-28-10 8:17 AM
horizontal rule
8

I hate to hear this. Here's hoping the news from the vet is unexpectedly good.


Posted by: Cosma Shalizi | Link to this comment | 06-28-10 8:20 AM
horizontal rule
9

I'm sorry, heebie.
Putting one's pets down sucks and is amazing difficult. But when the pet's health is faltering badly, it is also brave and profoundly humane. Dying of kidney failure is rotten, and preventing that sort of misery a mitzvah.


Posted by: oudemia | Link to this comment | 06-28-10 8:23 AM
horizontal rule
10

De-lurking to send my sympathies... Losing a pet always sucks, no matter how often I damn my cats to hell (puke-covered duvet is currently in the laundry).


Posted by: Yawnoc | Link to this comment | 06-28-10 8:25 AM
horizontal rule
11

6: I hardly think such an occasion warrants a party.


Posted by: Eggplant | Link to this comment | 06-28-10 8:36 AM
horizontal rule
12

Oy. Suddenly, this year, Dogbreath turned into an old dog. Cataracts, walking slow, she limps when she's just gotten up until she limbers up a bit. There's nothing particularly lifethreatening going on yet, but it's clearly this year/next year/soon, and I'm sad.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 06-28-10 8:47 AM
horizontal rule
13

also delurking to extend sympathy.


Posted by: kathy a. | Link to this comment | 06-28-10 9:08 AM
horizontal rule
14

My sympathy as well -- for you have held onto that cat despite the bad-cat behavior, you must be very attached.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 06-28-10 9:10 AM
horizontal rule
15

The cat's not bad. It's just totally insane.


Posted by: Beefo Meaty | Link to this comment | 06-28-10 9:12 AM
horizontal rule
16

sorry


Posted by: bob mcmanus | Link to this comment | 06-28-10 9:22 AM
horizontal rule
17

but it will eventually probably be quite nice to have people over.

I do go off in these dark tangents in my mind, where I imagine what it will be like to have a friend merely drop by! Or check in on the other cat when we're out of town! Or have houseguests without partitioning the house! But then I remember that I'm still sad.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 06-28-10 9:24 AM
horizontal rule
18

Now I have a tranquilizer shot. So at some point over the next few days, we'll say goodbye, dope him up, and take him in to be put down. Ugh.

The other options were:
1) Leave him at the vet on IV fluids for a week, which would extend his quality of life another two weeks or so. That's what we did when he first got woozy and weak, about a month ago.

2) Send him to California to get a kidney transplant. Then you get your cat, plus the donor cat. I bet it's pretty cheap, too.

So I went with the tranquilizer plan.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 06-28-10 9:27 AM
horizontal rule
19

17: I don't know that those are dark tangents. I'm sure that your kitten, if it could think in those terms, would want you to have unmauled strangers in your house after its gone.

Well, that's not true. It would probably want you to tear those strangers limb from limb, lest they cause whatever unspecified trouble your cat has spent its life defending against. But that's only because it's insane.


Posted by: Beefo Meaty | Link to this comment | 06-28-10 9:28 AM
horizontal rule
20

2) Send him to California to get a kidney transplant. Then you get your cat, plus the donor cat. I bet it's pretty cheap, too.

Wait, what? That's really weird. They put a cat on immunosuppressive drugs and all that? And you have to keep the donor?


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 06-28-10 9:28 AM
horizontal rule
21

Yeah, at first I thought he was kidding, until he kept providing more details.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 06-28-10 9:30 AM
horizontal rule
22
Feline kidney donors usually come from research facilities. These cats are classified as "specific pathogen free" which means they are free from infectious diseases. They are matched by blood typing and possibly blood cross-matching to the recipient cat (no other tissue-typing is necessary). A research cat is selected and a kidney removed for the recipient. After the procedure, the owner of the recipient cat must adopt the donor.

Um, wow.

I think you made the right choice.


Posted by: Beefo Meaty | Link to this comment | 06-28-10 9:31 AM
horizontal rule
23

What oud said in 9. I had to deal with that with both of mine a couple years ago, and it was briefly sad but a big relief when it was over. Condolences.


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 06-28-10 9:32 AM
horizontal rule
24

From the same page (which I'm not linking to because it has cat surgery pictures that presumably people don't need to see):

One enters the program with one cat and leaves with two cats.

So it's like reverse-thunderdome for cats, then?


Posted by: Beefo Meaty | Link to this comment | 06-28-10 9:33 AM
horizontal rule
25

And this:

Kidney transplantation is an expensive undertaking. (The University of California at Davis program, for example, required an $11,000 deposit for cats and $13,000 for dogs. Their surgeon has since moved to private practice where expense is typically greater). Transplantation involves the adoption of a donor and long-term medication and blood testing for the recipient. If this is something that you are seriously considering, be sure to discuss the procedure with the transplant center most local to you as well as with your regular veterinarian.

Plus apparently $150-$2000 a month for the immunosuppressive drugs.


Posted by: Beefo Meaty | Link to this comment | 06-28-10 9:34 AM
horizontal rule
26

and it was briefly sad but a big relief when it was over.

I'm definitely glad that it's been a precipitous decline. There's been time to get weepy and still cuddle, but I won't have to give him subcutaneous fluids for the next two years.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 06-28-10 9:35 AM
horizontal rule
27

It's amazing, the staggeringly expensive procedures veterinary medicine has to offer.


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 06-28-10 9:35 AM
horizontal rule
28

21: That would be an awful joke. "Oh sure, Ms. Geebie. We'll fix little Tommy right up. We'll put his name on the kitty kidney waiting list, and as soon as we get a match who generously signed his driver's license..."


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 06-28-10 9:36 AM
horizontal rule
29

Best $25,000 I ever spent, says selfish local lunatic.


Posted by: Beefo Meaty | Link to this comment | 06-28-10 9:37 AM
horizontal rule
30

The ethics of this are all puzzling, but I'm really not getting the principle behind "you have to keep the donor". If the donor cat was likely to have been adopted as a pet, it still seems adoptable with one kidney. If it was going to stay in the research facility, I'm not clear on why that's less humane for a one-kidneyed cat than a two-kidneyed cat. It seems like some sort of "Screw you, frivolous pet owner who wants to spend thousands of dollars on a cat, we're going to make it difficult."


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 06-28-10 9:37 AM
horizontal rule
31

The first time I went to give him subcutaneous fluids, I made a little tent with his skin like they showed me and poked the needle in, and turned the IV on. Then fluid started flying out the far side of the skin tent, because I'd pushed the needle in way too far. Whoops. Sorry for the gross imagery.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 06-28-10 9:37 AM
horizontal rule
32

Not sure if I was at the same site as Tweety was above, but they anticipate his characterization in 29:

Social Ostracism
Friends and relatives may insinuate that you are quite mad to have chosen such a course of action. Only a true cat person will understand completely. The loss of respect from those who are judgmental is a small thing. The love you receive from your cat is unconditional and will more than compensate for any small-minded opinions from others.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 06-28-10 9:38 AM
horizontal rule
33

30:

WHERE DO THE DONORS COME FROM & WHAT HAPPENS TO THEM AFTER?

This is an important ethical question for everyone involved in the transplantation program. It is no one's wish to harm the donor animal who cannot voluntarily become an organ donor in the way a human can, nor is there a mechanism to harvest organs from comatose brain-damaged patients as might be done for humans.
So I guess the theory is that for cats in research facilities, who would otherwise be put down at the end of their useful research life, this is an unambiguous benefit.
Posted by: Beefo Meaty | Link to this comment | 06-28-10 9:39 AM
horizontal rule
34

I'm really not getting the principle behind "you have to keep the donor". If the donor cat was likely to have been adopted as a pet, it still seems adoptable with one kidney. If it was going to stay in the research facility, I'm not clear on why that's less humane for a one-kidneyed cat than a two-kidneyed cat.

I think it's a mechanism for getting otherwise unadoptable cats out the door and into homes.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 06-28-10 9:40 AM
horizontal rule
35

The love you receive from your cat is unconditional

This was not written by a cat owner. I like cats, but boy can they communicate the conditions necessary to achieve their approval. "Scratch me right here. No, not like that or I'll bite you. That's okay. Don't stop. Now stop right this second. Where's dinner? I don't eat that slop, where's the usual catfood? Come to think of it, what are you eating? That's an interesting looking crossword, I think I'll sit on it. There's not going to be any trouble about that, right?"


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 06-28-10 9:41 AM
horizontal rule
36

28 made me laugh really hard.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 06-28-10 9:41 AM
horizontal rule
37

32: hah! No, it is not.


Posted by: Beefo Meaty | Link to this comment | 06-28-10 9:42 AM
horizontal rule
38

35: I assume there is a I'm-doing-my-cat-voice voice that goes with that monologue?


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 06-28-10 9:47 AM
horizontal rule
39

Actually, as delivered orally, it's punctuated with occasional "Meow meow"s. Not imitations of what a cat sounds like, just the word "Meow". I try not to talk like that in public.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 06-28-10 9:49 AM
horizontal rule
40

walking slow, she limps when she's just gotten up until she limbers up a bit.

Shit, I do this. That's it, no special trips to the doctors for me...


Posted by: nattarGcM ttaM | Link to this comment | 06-28-10 9:50 AM
horizontal rule
41

Is ttaM igoing to be living with Stanley for a few seasons?


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 06-28-10 9:51 AM
horizontal rule
42

Worried about getting sent to live on a farm, where you can run and play and be happy?


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 06-28-10 9:51 AM
horizontal rule
43

40: that's all right, ttaM, I'm sure your wife would opt for the expensive transplant, and soon enough the adopted scotsman would fit right into the family.


Posted by: Beefo Meaty | Link to this comment | 06-28-10 9:52 AM
horizontal rule
44

That's right. Soon ttaM would be jumping back up on the counter in no time.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 06-28-10 9:53 AM
horizontal rule
45

Actually, as delivered orally, it's punctuated with occasional "Meow meow"s.

Like the cat on Mr. Rogers' Neighborhood. Meowmeow needlepoint meow!


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 06-28-10 9:54 AM
horizontal rule
46

I give my cat wet food occasionally, and for days afterwards I joke with her.

Cat: MeOW! MAOW! paws leg.
Me: Oh cat. If only you could speak. If only I could understand what you want.
Cat: Stands on back legs, fetches can of food, rolls it along the floor to me.
Me: But we can never communicate, little cat. What IS it that you want so badly?
Cat: Scales drawers, somehow pulls one open, fishes out can opener, sets it next to can of wet food.
Me: The distance between our species is just too great. I can't comprehend your meowing, although I try.
Cat: Runs to blackboard, writes: I want wet food!
Me: Oh, little thing. I love you so. Here's your kibble!

This joke always entertains me, although I don't suppose I should confess my low threshold for self-entertainment.


Posted by: Megan | Link to this comment | 06-28-10 9:55 AM
horizontal rule
47

"Welcome, ttaM. This is Mungojerrie, and this is Rumpleteazer. They're your siblings now. Anyhow, you should lie down for a spell. Maybe we'll walk over to the park later on."


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 06-28-10 9:57 AM
horizontal rule
48

I'm nearly Megan. Mine consists of taunting the cat by saying "Use your words!" "Just tell me what you want, and it's yours! Anything! Just let me know."


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 06-28-10 9:57 AM
horizontal rule
49

46, 48: Well first thing, she's black a cat.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 06-28-10 9:59 AM
horizontal rule
50

My other favorite repetitive cat jokes are:

"KITTY! Look at you! You are just covered in cat hair! Land sakes."

and

"KITTY! Not in front of the guests!" if the cat is on the table/counter/puking.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 06-28-10 9:59 AM
horizontal rule
51

45: In fact, precisely like that.

46, 48: While this is the sort of pathetic comedy that would normally entertain my family for years, we never arrived at the cognitive leap necessary to accept that our cats couldn't talk.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 06-28-10 10:01 AM
horizontal rule
52

Well, even your mice talk, LB. I couldn't understand a world where the mice talk but the cats don't either.


Posted by: Megan | Link to this comment | 06-28-10 10:03 AM
horizontal rule
53

Heebie, that stinks and I'll be thinking about y'all. In the meantime, I think you've chosen to do the right thing. Ugh, though. Just, ugh.


Posted by: Robust McManlyPants | Link to this comment | 06-28-10 10:08 AM
horizontal rule
54

"The next thing I knew, I woke up completely naked in a bathtub sink filled with ice. On the wall it said "HAVE YOUR OWNER CALL THE VET OR YOU WILL DIE" written on it in lipstick."


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 06-28-10 10:10 AM
horizontal rule
55

On the wall it said "HAVE YOUR OWNER CALL THE VET OR YOU WILL DIE" written on it in lipstick. wet food.


Posted by: Beefo Meaty | Link to this comment | 06-28-10 10:12 AM
horizontal rule
56

I was really unsure about this post, whether I would just start stewing in sadness or not. But actually the mix of sympathy and jokes has cheered me up considerably.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 06-28-10 10:14 AM
horizontal rule
57

Great, now I killed the thread, too.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 06-28-10 10:32 AM
horizontal rule
58

17: I do go off in these dark tangents in my mind, where I imagine what it will be like to have a friend merely drop by! Or check in on the other cat when we're out of town! Or have houseguests without partitioning the house!

My sympathies, heebie. I had a, er, challenged cat as well (eating disorder, needed special food, had to be segregated at eating time, and closely watched around any food), and I was deeply grieved when he died a couple of years ago, but yeah: the truth is, it's really refreshing not to have to deal with all those work-arounds that made going out of town difficult, etc. No guilt about having that thought.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 06-28-10 10:33 AM
horizontal rule
59

Am I just really tired or is this improbably funny for a thread about sending beloved companions to their rest? Someone's going to come by and be all "what're you laughing about" and it's going to be sort of like those times I was sitting on the subway reading The Road and giggling. "Oh I'm just reading the most hilarious thing about putting cats to sleep!"

also re 17: Yeah, I think a lot about how nice it will be to be able to travel without worrying about who's going to look in on Dora the Cat, despite the fact that I will probably go mad (or at least permanently morose) instantly upon her passing and so not travel at all.


Posted by: Mister Smearcase | Link to this comment | 06-28-10 10:37 AM
horizontal rule
60

For fun, here's little cat earning his reputation. This is the clip that the Texas A&M vet shows at conferences. Or has shown at a conference, at least once.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 06-28-10 10:39 AM
horizontal rule
61

Great, now I killed the thread, too.

It had at most a day or so of life left, anyway.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 06-28-10 10:43 AM
horizontal rule
62

58: What's a cat eating disorder? My cats have basically no satiety response and would gladly pork out to 20, 30 lbs if we didn't restrict their intake, but I've never had a vet call that an eating disorder.


Posted by: Yawnoc | Link to this comment | 06-28-10 10:43 AM
horizontal rule
63

Since Little Cat started ailing, Big Cat has totally porked out. He's always had a big frame, but now he's over 20 lbs.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 06-28-10 10:45 AM
horizontal rule
64

Conservation of Meowmentum.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 06-28-10 10:47 AM
horizontal rule
65

The important thing is to have 27 lbs of cat.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 06-28-10 10:48 AM
horizontal rule
66

Does this collar make my ass look fat?


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 06-28-10 10:50 AM
horizontal rule
67

What's a cat eating disorder?

My mom took in a cat (officially named Cleopatra but everyone called it the unfortunate name Pootercat and later Pootsie for short) that had almost withered to nothing when she first came around. The cat subsequently porked up pretty righteously and was also very skittish and would run to eat food whenever she got surprised or upset. We figured she'd been abused (hence, skittish), then abandoned (hence, the wasting away to almost nothing), and forever assumed the food could run out again at any minute.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 06-28-10 10:52 AM
horizontal rule
68

is this improbably funny for a thread about sending beloved companions to their rest?

I've found this thread suprisingly hilarious, too.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 06-28-10 10:53 AM
horizontal rule
69

I've got at least 40 lbs of cat. I'll gladly ship you 15 by FedEx.


Posted by: Yawnoc | Link to this comment | 06-28-10 10:53 AM
horizontal rule
70

Then I'd owe you 2 lbs of cat. That sounds messy.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 06-28-10 10:54 AM
horizontal rule
71

One of my cats has what I think is an eating disorder: when she was younger everytime she was pet she had to go to the food bowl, forcing me to stop free feeding.
Also, she eats plastic.


Posted by: Eggplant | Link to this comment | 06-28-10 10:55 AM
horizontal rule
72

In other funny cat stories (is anyone sick of hearing them, okay good), the childhood cat that I picked out (name: Lara) turned out to be really, really shy but would hang out with people who had fallen ill. Later in life, she apparently had a stroke, which caused her to walk around with her head cocked to the side but otherwise fine, per the vet. Then she had another stroke, and the head turned back to normal.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 06-28-10 10:55 AM
horizontal rule
73

Also, she eats plastic.

Big Cat does this, compulsively. It's disgusting. I also have to tell guests to put away any plastic bags they brought, as in zipping them up in their suitcase, because he will dig around in your suitcase otherwise and find your plastic. And shred it, plus it's all slimy from cat saliva, which is disgusting. Plus it travels through his system.

So after some future grieving, I'll get to whimsically leave plastic out around the house.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 06-28-10 10:59 AM
horizontal rule
74

Then she had another stroke, and the head turned back to normal.

Life according to Archie Comic Books prevails!


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 06-28-10 11:00 AM
horizontal rule
75

I'm actually a big softie when it comes to pet death. Thinking about when we finally put down the really wonderful cat that the kids basically grew up with still brings a tear. And we continue to maintain his simple gravesite (two stones) in the side yard.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 06-28-10 11:00 AM
horizontal rule
76

74: I often thought, somewhat guiltily, about this quote from National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation:

She falls down a well, her eyes go cross. She gets kicked by a mule. They go back. I don't know.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 06-28-10 11:04 AM
horizontal rule
77

What's a cat eating disorder?

He ate voraciously and rapidly, with a kind of frenzy. He'd suffered a very high fever when he was pretty young, maybe 1 year old, and we suspect he may have sustained brain damage. So he started eating crazily, very fast, to the point of puking it up 15 minutes later. We rationed his food but he'd steal the other cat's food, and he gained a lot of weight. We put him on a diet and segregated him, and he lost the weight but of course felt he was starving, so was even more glint-of-crazy in the eye about seizing on any and all food.

Then he developed what I have in my brain as FSU -- feline-specific urethritis -- meaning that anything but a special diet caused him to develop a urinary blockage, hospitalization, etc. Apparently FSU (I may have the name wrong) is fairly common among obese male cats.

So, sigh. Segregation, special food, all household food kept out of his reach. I still have some of those habits in place: we put the loaves of bread up in the hanging basket, not leaving anything on the counter.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 06-28-10 11:07 AM
horizontal rule
78

Heh, I once made the mistake of leaving a dozen muffins out in their tray on the counter. When I returned I found one bite taken from the top of each one.


Posted by: Eggplant | Link to this comment | 06-28-10 11:15 AM
horizontal rule
79

Heebie, our littler cat died on his own last fall and while it was and is incredibly sad, it was also very liberating to be able to do the things we couldn't with his adorable brain-damaged self around the house. I hope things go well for you and the whole family during and after the transition.


Posted by: Thorn | Link to this comment | 06-28-10 11:16 AM
horizontal rule
80

Your cat is Ramona Quimby.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 06-28-10 11:17 AM
horizontal rule
81

Thanks, Thorn.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 06-28-10 11:17 AM
horizontal rule
82

(and everyone who has expressed sympathy. This thread is very therapeutic and hilarious.)


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 06-28-10 11:18 AM
horizontal rule
83

My partner is a big fan of the "things happen for a reason" school of thought, so it was soothing to her to think that we'd lost our little guy but it actually made it so much easier to have an actual child in our house than it would have been had little Pavvie still been around. So if Things Happen for a Reason, heebie, obviously the reason your cat is ailing is so that all of us can have a good laugh.


Posted by: Thorn | Link to this comment | 06-28-10 11:26 AM
horizontal rule
84

I just called to make an appointment for an initial examination of a stray we are going to adopt. There is a TEN PAGE questionnaire that must be filled out and sent in before the visit. I have never filled out 10 pages of medical history for myself, let alone an animal.

Cats are so awesome. The otherwise decent Ursula LeGuin story "A Fisherman On The Inland Sea" is marred by the admission that on the human-diaspora world where it is set, THERE ARE NO CATS! Why would you want to live on such a planet?


Posted by: Natilo Paennim | Link to this comment | 06-28-10 11:26 AM
horizontal rule
85

It's kind of great (underneath the sadness and illness) that your cat will be famous forever via the internet and vet school conferences. My sister says she thinks someone at her vet school (Cornell) showed her your video last spring.


Posted by: E. Messily | Link to this comment | 06-28-10 11:28 AM
horizontal rule
86

When I returned I found one bite taken from the top of each one.

One of ours is really, really into grains. He goes after bread, tortilla chips, rice, you name it. We like the fancy breads that have, like, bits of grain and seed and whatever on top, which is like blowjob cheesecake to this cat. He is insane for it. We discovered this by leaving a new loaf, unopened, out on the counter overnight and finding the next morning that he had chewed through both layers of plastic around the bread and then proceed to nibble the crust - just the crust - from the entire top of the loaf. It looked like it had been shaved. He was shamelessly proud of himself, too, the little bastard. I can't hate him for it, though, because he's high as a kite all the time due to a medication he has to take and can't be held responsible for his actions.


Posted by: Robust McManlyPants | Link to this comment | 06-28-10 11:30 AM
horizontal rule
87

84:Why would you want to live on such a planet?

Some people are just plain crazy. It's the only possible explanation. For pretty much everything, actually.


Posted by: togolosh | Link to this comment | 06-28-10 11:31 AM
horizontal rule
88

My old dog, a very smart and neurotic poodle, managed to get into a box of See's Candies that was wrapped and in a bag on a rather high counter. He ate all the ones we liked, left alone the peppermints which we didn't like, and then threw everything up in the corner of our best room. It was epic.

The current family dog, a very sweet-tempered Cairn, slowing way, way down. He's about 12 years old. My parents say that as long as he appears to be taking some pleasure out of life they'll keep him and love him. As soon as he can't be roused or seems to be in pain, they'll shed a tear and do the proper.


Posted by: Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 06-28-10 11:39 AM
horizontal rule
89

My sister says she thinks someone at her vet school (Cornell) showed her your video last spring.

Really?? How awesome!


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 06-28-10 11:41 AM
horizontal rule
90

77: This sounds a lot like my male cat, except that he fortunately does not perceive any "human food" except fish and oil as even remotely edible, so we don't have to lock down the kitchen against his rampages.


Posted by: Yawnoc | Link to this comment | 06-28-10 11:42 AM
horizontal rule
91

blowjob cheesecake

I really really hope I don't find myself using this in conversation.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 06-28-10 11:45 AM
horizontal rule
92

Blowjob cheesecake: the new wizard cocksucker?


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 06-28-10 11:47 AM
horizontal rule
93

77, 90: Mine also has UT issues (leading to the vet shortening his urethra, or as she put it "turn him into a girl"). Luckily his major issue with human food is actually with drink - he can't resist dipping his paws in unattended drinks and flipping drops of water (or beer or whatever) everywhere. If I leave the toilet lid up and the bathroom door open the toilet seat ends up liberally sprinkled with water.


Posted by: togolosh | Link to this comment | 06-28-10 11:48 AM
horizontal rule
94

90: It's workable until the cat starts to go for the bread and the muffins and whatnot. Or until he has to be hospitalized; my cat had a two-fold problem, the eating and the FSU. I do suggest that you consider putting your 40-pounder on a diet against the latter possibility. Or not -- maybe ask the vet next visit.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 06-28-10 11:50 AM
horizontal rule
95

the toilet seat ends up liberally sprinkled with water

Ah, the old blame-it-on-the-cat strategy.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 06-28-10 11:52 AM
horizontal rule
96

Heebie, sorry to hear it. Our dip-shit pirate cat managed to get himself kidney failure a few months ago (probably by drinking antifreeze) but is responding well to treatment. Our noble but dumb cat died a year or so ago. Death is the number 1 reason cats suck.


Posted by: W. Breeze | Link to this comment | 06-28-10 11:54 AM
horizontal rule
97

94: Oh good God no. I've got 3 cats totalling 40+ lbs. The most the biggest one has weighed is, like, 17 lbs.


Posted by: Yawnoc | Link to this comment | 06-28-10 12:00 PM
horizontal rule
98

blowjob cheesecake

I just want to highlight this one more time. It cracked me way the fuck up.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 06-28-10 12:01 PM
horizontal rule
99

Ballet is probably the best thing for a 40+ pound cat.


Posted by: Beefo Meaty | Link to this comment | 06-28-10 12:01 PM
horizontal rule
100

Looking for prior art on the "blowjob cheesecake" front, I find this:

gladiators find internal g-spot reasons for blood clots during menstruation asian slut video blowjob cheesecake factory grilled skirt steak recipe

Which, without actually navigating to the page, is inconclusive.


Posted by: Beefo Meaty | Link to this comment | 06-28-10 12:03 PM
horizontal rule
101

99: You should write for the Garfield movies.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 06-28-10 12:03 PM
horizontal rule
102

Pro-cat, Anti-cat-approaching-end-of-lifespan AND I VOTE.

your cat will be famous forever via the internet
I love this, it's like the American Dream: New Media Edition. New mouseover text?

Pet deaths are always very sad to me. My saddest experience was actually with a rat. She had developed a tumor (practically inevitable with rats, it seems) and was obviously in pain, but still obviously very conscious and sharp as ever mentally. I told myself she was suffering, but it was one of those grey areas where there was still a sense of her having a lot of life and rat curiosity, and felt terribly sad and unsure I'd acted too soon afterward. Rats in general are a recipe for sadness: intelligent, cute, and with a lifespan that will probably be about 2 years due to cancer or bronchial infection. Just long enough for you to get attached! Cats are better, even crazy fat plastic-eaters like my current one.


Posted by: persistently visible | Link to this comment | 06-28-10 12:04 PM
horizontal rule
103

crazy fat plastic-eaters

That reminds me that this photo gallery is pretty amazing.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 06-28-10 12:10 PM
horizontal rule
104

Just now Big Cat finally figured out how to get to the location where I've been stashing Little Cat's IV fluids, and started munching away on the plastic.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 06-28-10 12:10 PM
horizontal rule
105

Oh good God no. I've got 3 cats totalling 40+ lbs.

Ah, okay. I cancel my mild alarm, then. (My mom had a cat in the 28-pound range, a big boy just by nature, so the 40 lbs didn't seem out of the realm of possibility. I'm out of practice with cats now.)


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 06-28-10 12:12 PM
horizontal rule
106

I think 40 lbs would be biggish for a lynx -- that's around what my midsize dog weighs.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 06-28-10 12:13 PM
horizontal rule
107

Oh good God no. I've got 3 cats totalling 40+ lbs.

But they're sewn together, horrifically, to make one big cat.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 06-28-10 12:15 PM
horizontal rule
108

107 made me laugh. Soon there will be Everything Centipede!


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 06-28-10 12:17 PM
horizontal rule
109

107: They are a feline centipede. Which saves on scooping litter.


Posted by: Yawnoc | Link to this comment | 06-28-10 12:17 PM
horizontal rule
110

Really more of a caterpillar.


Posted by: Eggplant | Link to this comment | 06-28-10 12:18 PM
horizontal rule
111

They call it the Inhuman Caterpillar.

103 is indeed amazing.


Posted by: persistently visible | Link to this comment | 06-28-10 12:18 PM
horizontal rule
112

Horrors, pwned!


Posted by: persistently visible | Link to this comment | 06-28-10 12:20 PM
horizontal rule
113

Ah ha, I'm in front of persistently visible. You know what that means...


Posted by: Eggplant | Link to this comment | 06-28-10 12:20 PM
horizontal rule
114

I recently made a reference to Human Centipede to a group of people, none of whom had heard thing one about the movie and whom I then horrified with a brief synopsis of the plot. I actually had a hard time convincing them I was being serious.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 06-28-10 12:21 PM
horizontal rule
115

How many 2-word strings have I learned from this blog that I can never use in real life ever? It's mind-boggling.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 06-28-10 12:23 PM
horizontal rule
116

I've actually managed to not figure out what Human Centipede is so far, because from the tone of references I'm afraid to google at work, and I forget at home. It's a movie?


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 06-28-10 12:23 PM
horizontal rule
117

105, 106: it happens.


Posted by: Beefo Meaty | Link to this comment | 06-28-10 12:24 PM
horizontal rule
118

116: I found the Etsy doll a helpful diagram. I didn't get it either, and that was a gentle introduction.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 06-28-10 12:25 PM
horizontal rule
119

116: it's a lifestyle.


Posted by: Beefo Meaty | Link to this comment | 06-28-10 12:25 PM
horizontal rule
120

118: I believe the etsy doll is modeled on a diagram that's actually in the movie.


Posted by: Beefo Meaty | Link to this comment | 06-28-10 12:25 PM
horizontal rule
121

Like, a similarly goofy and simplistic diagram.


Posted by: Beefo Meaty | Link to this comment | 06-28-10 12:25 PM
horizontal rule
122

120: Yet knowing it's a cat toy also helped. As a diagram it's still terrifying.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 06-28-10 12:26 PM
horizontal rule
123

117: Yes, exactly.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 06-28-10 12:27 PM
horizontal rule
124

It's a movie?

Wikipedia.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 06-28-10 12:31 PM
horizontal rule
125

Worse than I'd thought.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 06-28-10 12:38 PM
horizontal rule
126

83 My partner is a big fan of the "things happen for a reason" school of thought

AUGH least comforting idea in history of, oh, anything.


Posted by: Mister Smearcase | Link to this comment | 06-28-10 12:38 PM
horizontal rule
127

"Amazing" isn't quite the right word.


Posted by: Brock Landers | Link to this comment | 06-28-10 12:43 PM
horizontal rule
128

126: It makes me so, so, so frustrated that I can barely even talk about it. I've had to tell her up-front in a few cases that if she tries to tell me that I'll want to punch her. Since I'm a hardcore pacifist, that's as far as it would go. But argh!!


Posted by: Thorn | Link to this comment | 06-28-10 12:44 PM
horizontal rule
129

126: you think that for a reason.


Posted by: Beefo Meaty | Link to this comment | 06-28-10 12:49 PM
horizontal rule
130

118, 120: link?


Posted by: Yawnoc | Link to this comment | 06-28-10 12:59 PM
horizontal rule
131

Forget it, I accidentally Googled "etsy human caterpillar" and came up with nothing. It's the top hit for "etsy human *centipede*". Damn my weak entomology.


Posted by: Yawnoc | Link to this comment | 06-28-10 1:00 PM
horizontal rule
132

Damn my weak entomology.

Surprisingly common mistake.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 06-28-10 1:10 PM
horizontal rule
133

132: Yeah, I did the same initial Etsy search as Yawnoc. What is up with that? It's as if, deep down, we've all got some yearning for a movie about a Human Caterpillar.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 06-28-10 1:16 PM
horizontal rule
134

132: Perhaps it's The Very Hungry (for Humans!) Caterpillar. Or maybe you just want a human centipede story where there's some redemptive human butterfly ending?


Posted by: Thorn | Link to this comment | 06-28-10 1:17 PM
horizontal rule
135

I got this email invitation from my neighbor friend today:

hey guys, unless you've been dead recently you've probably heard me talk about this movie the human centipede. its ruined my life and i must see it. so, its on demand, and we have on demand at our house, so i demand that we watch it on this Thursday 7/1, at 9pm at XXX X st, NW. BYOBarfbag.

I can't decide if this is a party I should attend, or invent a conflict for.


Posted by: E. Messily | Link to this comment | 06-28-10 1:18 PM
horizontal rule
136

I'm squeamish, but I'd pay money to not go to that party.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 06-28-10 1:19 PM
horizontal rule
137

I'm not usually particularly squeamish, and scary movies are a lot less scary for deaf people, it seems. But I have been weirdly fragile this week, and apo's dead bird link up there brought me perilously close to tears. We'll see.

Then again, watching anything in a room full of people who are also screaming at the screen might be sort of comforting and hilarious, so.


Posted by: E. Messily | Link to this comment | 06-28-10 1:25 PM
horizontal rule
138

When approaching investors prior to filming, Six did not mention the mouth-to-anus aspect of the plot, fearing it would put off potential backers. The financiers of The Human Centipede did not discover the full nature of the film until it was complete.

Considering that the entire plot of the film is "German doctor kidnaps three tourists and joins them surgically, mouth to anus, forming a 'human centipede'", this is fairly difficult for me to understand. Did he really get away with just telling people it was a movie about a mad scientist who surgically connects people to form a human centipede, with no elaboration whatsoever? And people heard that and thought "brilliant!", and gave him money to make the film?? The shock value of "the mouth-to-anus aspect" is the only thing remotely original or marketable about the movie.


Posted by: Brock Landers | Link to this comment | 06-28-10 1:27 PM
horizontal rule
139

Hey Heebie, I'm sorry to hear this and hope you're doing okay.


Posted by: Ile | Link to this comment | 06-28-10 1:38 PM
horizontal rule
140

137: I have a feeling actually watching the movie will render the concept "deeply stupid" as opposed to "unsettling and difficult to forget".


Posted by: Beefo Meaty | Link to this comment | 06-28-10 1:42 PM
horizontal rule
141

Boxing Helena certainly worked like that.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 06-28-10 1:47 PM
horizontal rule
142

So sorry to hear about your cat, Heebie - I know it's hard to make that last decision. My 19 year old cat, Delany, died in my arms at the vet; it broke my heart. I knew it had to happen, because his quality of life had deteriorated, but it still was difficult.

Biohazard & I have discussed, at length, what we'd be willing to do for the cats, should they become ill. We agree that keeping an animal alive when the life-prolonging treatment would be painful and/or frightening, without a guaranteed positive outcome, would just be selfishness on our part. We have pretty much the same agreement about each other.


Posted by: DominEditrix | Link to this comment | 06-28-10 2:28 PM
horizontal rule
143

I've gotten "Boxing Helena" and "Crossing Delancey" confused for years.


Posted by: Robert Halford | Link to this comment | 06-28-10 2:30 PM
horizontal rule
144

(Extending my sympathy to heebie -- don't let me interrupt your criminally-depraved-cinema roundtable.)


Posted by: Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 06-28-10 2:55 PM
horizontal rule
145

In honor of crazy cats.


Posted by: Beefo Meaty | Link to this comment | 06-28-10 3:03 PM
horizontal rule
146

145: The bees are a lovely touch. Some would stop with all-powerful rainbow lasers, but why?


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 06-28-10 3:14 PM
horizontal rule
147

60: I just watched this, laughing hysterically because my cat kept trying to attack the screen.

(I can't believe she's ten years old now. A few more years, inshallah.)


Posted by: Cosma Shalizi | Link to this comment | 06-28-10 6:56 PM
horizontal rule
148

Kitty World Cup is pretty cute.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 06-28-10 7:15 PM
horizontal rule
149

Heebie, my deepest condolences. I dread the day - though fortunately I've got pretty young cats so I'm hoping it is very, very far off.

I came home today from a three-day weekend at a folk music festival and the kitten has not left me alone. He keeps lifting my fingers up as I'm trying to type in order to chew on them.


Posted by: Parenthetical | Link to this comment | 06-28-10 8:32 PM
horizontal rule
150

My condolences, heebie. My (parents') cat has gotten suddenly quite old, too. (He's 17.) Frail, skinny, thinning fur and just generally not well looking. He puked on UNG the first time he met him, which has always especially endeared him (the cat) to me. Hard to imagine not having him around.


Posted by: Di | Link to this comment | 06-28-10 9:24 PM
horizontal rule
151

Yeah, what () said. My guys are a little over two and I dread the day...


Posted by: Merganser | Link to this comment | 06-28-10 9:31 PM
horizontal rule
152

I'm so sorry. You'd think the feeling of inevitability would make the decision easier - at least that's what I thought, a couple years back when one of my family's cats died - but it really doesn't


Posted by: fake accent | Link to this comment | 06-28-10 11:10 PM
horizontal rule
153

I wonder what the connexion is between people with mystical thinking about the world (thinks happen for a reason, crystals, jebus) and not reading enough fantasy or other similar sorts of fiction.


Posted by: yoyo | Link to this comment | 06-28-10 11:11 PM
horizontal rule
154

i sort of think pets should be put down right away, so the 'pet' slot can be filled by a new, happy, hedonism-maximizing pet.

i'm very low on the 'loyalty' personality trait or whatever haidt calls it.


Posted by: yoyo | Link to this comment | 06-28-10 11:18 PM
horizontal rule
155

well in lieu of comforting real life primaty touching, i'll say i'm sure teh cat is going to have a fun chariot ride up to the sky


Posted by: yoyo | Link to this comment | 06-28-10 11:31 PM
horizontal rule
156

maybe you just want a human centipede story where there's some redemptive human butterfly ending?

"Angelic Butterflies" by Primo Levi is sort of this except with a complete lack of redemption in the ending.


Posted by: | Link to this comment | 06-29-10 2:23 AM
horizontal rule
157

19-circa 22. They do the kidney operation at UC Davis. I had a good friend who went to vet school there. In 2002, the cost was about $10,000. There was a British guy there one summer doing a rotation who thought that it was kind of immoral to put a cat through all that, but there were plenty of Americans who said, "Well, for a lot of people their pets are their family."


Posted by: Bostoniangirl | Link to this comment | 06-29-10 4:50 AM
horizontal rule
158

153: You're 100% right about my partner. She hates fiction and especially the fantastical kind (though I got her to watch a little bit of Battlestar Galactica by emphasizing the politics) but is down with Christianity and the annoying for-a-reason thing.


Posted by: Thorn | Link to this comment | 06-29-10 6:26 AM
horizontal rule
159

sorry heebie, that sucks. let me divert you with a humorous tale.


Posted by: alameida | Link to this comment | 06-29-10 8:04 AM
horizontal rule
160

I think that "everything happens for a reason" is destructive and wrong-headed and evilly complacent, but I get why it's comforting.

It's sort of like when people were giving advice to their 20 year old self, and several people said, "Well, if I'd taken such advice I wouldn't have my great kids, so I'm reluctant to go down this path." It's comforting to think one day your suffering will pay off, or something.

Also then you don't have to worry about those other people who are suffering, because they either had it coming or it will pay off for them someday. Win-win!


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 06-29-10 10:35 AM
horizontal rule
161

All Nature is but Art, unknown to thee;
All chance, direction, which thou canst not see
All discord, harmony not understood,
All partial evil, universal good:
And, spite of pride, in erring reason's spite,
One truth is clear, whatever is, is right.


Posted by: COMPLACENT ALEXANDER POPE | Link to this comment | 06-29-10 11:00 AM
horizontal rule
162

"I wonder if I might call your attention to an observation of the Emperor Marcus Aurelius. He said: 'Does aught befall you? It is good. It is part of the destiny of the Universe ordained for you from the beginning. All that befalls you is part of the great web'."
I breathed a bit stertorously.
"He said that, did he?"
"Yes, sir."
"Well, you can tell him from me he's an ass."


Posted by: OPINIONATED BERTIE WOOSTER | Link to this comment | 06-29-10 11:03 AM
horizontal rule
163

That's not an opinion at all.


Posted by: Cryptic ned | Link to this comment | 06-29-10 11:24 AM
horizontal rule
164

I think that "everything happens for a reason" is destructive and wrong-headed and evilly complacent, but I get why it's comforting.

My karma ran over your dogma


Posted by: OPINIONATED Buddhist | Link to this comment | 06-29-10 11:42 AM
horizontal rule
165

I know that the Unfogged in-joke is more inexorable than the tides, but not every guest to the site has to be opinionated. It was funny when a cranky old grandma showed up and shouted things, but that was specific to her. Other honored guests can arrive and calmly say funny or relevant things. That'd be great.


Posted by: Megan | Link to this comment | 06-29-10 11:46 AM
horizontal rule
166

163: It's a degraded blog world, Ned.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 06-29-10 11:46 AM
horizontal rule
167

165: I'm just a cave man who was trapped in a glacier and then unfrozen by your scientists. Your blog scares and confuses me. But, I do know one thing. If I have to remember when to use 'Opinionated' before using a pseudonym that is different from my usually pseudonym, my brain might explode.


Posted by: Opinionated Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer | Link to this comment | 06-29-10 11:51 AM
horizontal rule
168

164: You going to eat that roadkill dogma?


Posted by: Opinionated Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer | Link to this comment | 06-29-10 11:53 AM
horizontal rule
169

I opine that you should weeze the juice, is what I opine.


Posted by: Pauly Shore | Link to this comment | 06-29-10 11:55 AM
horizontal rule
170

DON'T OVERUSE ME, BROS!


Posted by: ZOMBIE IN-JOKE | Link to this comment | 06-29-10 11:59 AM
horizontal rule
171

You're suggesting that "opinionated" is the cue for us to realize that it:

1. Isn't really Alexander Pope or an unfrozen caveman lawyer dropping by; and
2. Isn't a new person with a new handle?

Surely the quality of the joke should do that work, or the fact that Mr. Pope doesn't come by after the initial joking comment.

How about never using opinionated unless it is a direct descendant of OPINIONATED GRANDMA, and somehow the shouting, cranky part adds value to the joke?

When did OPINIONATED get instituted as the shorthand for 'temporary pseudonym'? Did I miss that?


Posted by: Megan | Link to this comment | 06-29-10 12:00 PM
horizontal rule
172

When did OPINIONATED get instituted as the shorthand for 'temporary pseudonym'?

It's a pun.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 06-29-10 12:03 PM
horizontal rule
173

somehow the shouting, cranky part adds value to the joke

If one is reduced to shouting, perhaps the joke wasn't funny in the first place.


Posted by: Tassled Loafered Leech | Link to this comment | 06-29-10 12:03 PM
horizontal rule
174

I feel so naked, but so free. Just like on the veldt before the horrible ice.


Posted by: Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer | Link to this comment | 06-29-10 12:06 PM
horizontal rule
175

YOUR RULES ARE TOO COMPLEX FOR ME, MEGAN. WHAT DO YOU HAVE AGAINST STRONG OPINIONS, ANYWAY?


Posted by: OPINIONATED BROCK LANDERS | Link to this comment | 06-29-10 12:08 PM
horizontal rule
176

You've never been so attractive to me, Unfrozen. I love your new look. I don't suppose you'd like to come back to my cave? I had this crazy idea of representing bison and other game in two dimensions on the surface of the stone and maybe you could tell me if you think there's anything to the concept. In my bedroom.


Posted by: Megan | Link to this comment | 06-29-10 12:09 PM
horizontal rule
177

It's a pun.

Wait, not a pun, what's that thing that reads the same backwards as forwards?


Posted by: Pet Store Owner | Link to this comment | 06-29-10 12:09 PM
horizontal rule
178

Dunno.


Posted by: renwO erotS teP | Link to this comment | 06-29-10 12:10 PM
horizontal rule
179

171 is wise.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 06-29-10 12:12 PM
horizontal rule
180

If one is reduced to shouting, perhaps the joke wasn't funny in the first place.
YOU TAKE THAT BACK, LEECH.


Posted by: LEWIS BLACK | Link to this comment | 06-29-10 12:12 PM
horizontal rule
181

what's that thing that reads the same backwards as forwards?

"A man, a plan, a canal, Panama!"


Posted by: Brock Landers | Link to this comment | 06-29-10 12:12 PM
horizontal rule
182

WHAT DO YOU HAVE AGAINST STRONG OPINIONS, ANYWAY?

SOMETIMES, THEY'RE NOT NECESSARY AND DETRACT FROM AN OTHERWISE FUNNY JOKE.


Posted by: Megan | Link to this comment | 06-29-10 12:12 PM
horizontal rule
183

It's been a while since I've rocked a cave, but I still know how to keep my head from the stalactite no matter how quickly I move.


Posted by: Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer | Link to this comment | 06-29-10 12:14 PM
horizontal rule
184

O.K. I'll try to remember not to use "Opinionated."


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 06-29-10 12:15 PM
horizontal rule
185

LOL


Posted by: OPINIONATED *AND* FUNNY | Link to this comment | 06-29-10 12:15 PM
horizontal rule
186

But, I'm maybe 5% of the problem. At most.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 06-29-10 12:15 PM
horizontal rule
187

186: Says who?


Posted by: Moby's Wife | Link to this comment | 06-29-10 12:17 PM
horizontal rule
188

Yes, well. It is a learning process. But I'm happy to keep providing gentle reminders.


Posted by: Megan | Link to this comment | 06-29-10 12:18 PM
horizontal rule
189

180. Don't get me started, Lewis!


Posted by: Zombie Sam Kinison | Link to this comment | 06-29-10 12:18 PM
horizontal rule
190

188: A steady drip of wisdom at a controlled rate so that the knowledge doesn't just evaporate?


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 06-29-10 12:28 PM
horizontal rule
191

Some people call it relentless nagging, but your phrasing sounds nicer.


Posted by: Megan | Link to this comment | 06-29-10 12:35 PM
horizontal rule
192

Nagging Moby beats Flogging Molly.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 06-29-10 12:39 PM
horizontal rule
193

174: Just like on the veldt before the horrible ice.

You know who had horrible ice? Wisconsin.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 06-29-10 12:43 PM
horizontal rule
194

193: At the height of the icing, this place was named "Brodi".


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 06-29-10 12:49 PM
horizontal rule
195

Had?


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 06-29-10 12:49 PM
horizontal rule
196

174: Just like on the veldt before the horrible ice.

You know who had horrible ice? Wisconsin.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 06-29-10 12:50 PM
horizontal rule
197

196: Yes, I'd seen that in the archive.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 06-29-10 12:53 PM
horizontal rule
198

I wasn't around then.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 06-29-10 12:56 PM
horizontal rule
199

Everything happens for no reason at all.

I did a whole 15 minutes research in the "Determinism" sections of Wikipedia, and could find no support for this thesis, so I presume I am the first in history to ponder it, and expect my MacArthur grant forthwith.


Posted by: Opionated Zombie Hume? | Link to this comment | 06-29-10 1:08 PM
horizontal rule
200

160 -- I don't think it's that it's comforting how great things turned out as much as that it's immoral that contemplate trading in your kids for some other, marginally better future.

The company where I didn't take that job continues to exist despite my choice. That girl I didn't kiss lives on (happily, by all accounts). The woman who did marry me would undoubtedly have had every bit as interesting a life if we'd never met. One's kids, though, cease completely in any alternate timeline.


Posted by: CharleyCarp | Link to this comment | 06-29-10 1:51 PM
horizontal rule
201

The woman who did marry me would undoubtedly have had every bit as interesting a life if we'd never met.

Lucky her.


Posted by: Ophelia | Link to this comment | 06-29-10 2:03 PM
horizontal rule
202

One's kids, though, cease completely in any alternate timeline.

Pretty much. I don't worry about the immorality of disappearing them though. I wouldn't because I like them lots, and would even if I didn't have to because they're my kids. However the rest of my life could use a good editor.

And condolences for the cat, Heebie. IMX, that sort of thing tends to hit harder than one anticipates. I'm crediting ours for keeping me from the 9mm solution for depression a couple of years ago and I'm getting all choked up just thinking about losing them.


Posted by: Biohazard | Link to this comment | 06-29-10 2:16 PM
horizontal rule
203

200.1: Contemplation is immoral? Thanks for sharing, Dr. Pangloss.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 06-29-10 2:24 PM
horizontal rule
204

I'm crediting ours for keeping me from the 9mm solution for depression a couple of years ago

Strong work, good cat.


Posted by: Megan | Link to this comment | 06-29-10 2:25 PM
horizontal rule
205

Yo, Bio, you go out there blazin' that shit's gonna destroy everything we worked for. Put the gat away and stop thinkin' like a gangster, man. Think like a businessman.


Posted by: Beefo Meaty | Link to this comment | 06-29-10 5:05 PM
horizontal rule
206

Goddamit. That last comment was supposed to be from Mr. Meowykins, and you can blame nosflow for fucking it all up.


Posted by: Beefo Meaty | Link to this comment | 06-29-10 5:08 PM
horizontal rule
207

I wondered what nefarious activity Tweety had concocted with Biohazard, but was afraid to ask.


Posted by: Tassled Loafered Leech | Link to this comment | 06-29-10 5:10 PM
horizontal rule
208

200, 202 - I dunno, I can't help thinking that if I'd met someone else I might have had *better* children. I mean, these ones are fine and all that, but ...


Posted by: asilon | Link to this comment | 06-30-10 10:00 AM
horizontal rule
209

Could I have one that throws fewer tantrums?


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 06-30-10 10:02 AM
horizontal rule