Re: Beating the Spread: Santorum!

1

Santorum's wins don't mean much. The media is only making a big deal of them so that they can milk the primaries for stories a little longer.

Romney could easily beat Obama this year. No incumbent is safe in a down economy.


Posted by: rob helpy-chalk | Link to this comment | 02- 8-12 6:32 AM
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"Santorum sticks to Mitt"


Posted by: Annelid Gustator | Link to this comment | 02- 8-12 6:44 AM
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SO YOU ADMIT YOU'RE ON ONE "TEAM" AND THAT'S THE ONE YOU ROOT FOR

NO MATTER HOW MANY BABIES THEY EAT, THAT'S YOUR TEAM

YOU ADMIT IT

THAT SICKENS ME


Posted by: OPINIONATED GRANDPA | Link to this comment | 02- 8-12 6:46 AM
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"When will people learn? Democracy doesn't work."


Posted by: OPINIONATED HOMER SIMPSON | Link to this comment | 02- 8-12 6:48 AM
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||

I want to create a simple webpage to promote a version of a free logic textbook that I have been working on. Basically, I want to have a dedicated website to host the .pdf file for the text, the LaTeX source file, some text promoting the virtues of the book and open access textbooks in general, supporting textbook materials, and maybe some tools for collaboration. And I should have an easy to remember URL.

I was thinking that Wordpress would be the easiest software to use. What should I do for hosting? Pick the cheapest host that partners with Wordpress? Will there be much of a learning curve with Wordpress?

The last time I created a website was almost 10 years ago, and I just wrote something in HTML and transferred it to some host using FTP software. Can you still build websites like that?

|>


Posted by: rob helpy-chalk | Link to this comment | 02- 8-12 7:04 AM
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A website is like a box of chocolates.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 02- 8-12 7:12 AM
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I agree entirely with 1. Still, Obama is lucky in his potential opponents.

I also hate the obsession with the Presidential horse race. There was an NY Times front page headline that said something like "Unemployment Rate Falls to 8%, Creating New Dynamic In Presidential Race". What kind of sick media thinks that the most important effect of a decrease in unemployment is its effect on a political campaign?


Posted by: Robert Halford | Link to this comment | 02- 8-12 7:15 AM
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3: THIS VESSEL IS THE OPTIMISM OF THE CENTER OF THE VESSEL PERSON

YOU HAVE NOT KICKED US

THEREFORE YOU EAT BABIES

WHAT IS OURS IS YOURS, WHAT IS YOURS IS OURS


Posted by: OPINIONATED BABY EATERS | Link to this comment | 02- 8-12 7:19 AM
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1:The economy will be good enough. The interesting story is how close to disinflation or deflation the major economies seem able to skate. This is a technological advance within managed capitalism, Greenspan et al really did beat the business cycle, although they couldn't tell until they tested it.

Oh yeah, nobody, nobody cares about your job or wages.

Obama wins easily. Don't know about Congress, but doesn't much matter, as we saw in 2009-10.

Not interested in Republicans.


Posted by: bob mcmanus | Link to this comment | 02- 8-12 7:23 AM
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Can you still build websites like that?

Yes.

It sounds like you mostly want a static page with a few links and static text, so I'm not sure what Wordpress would do for you. It might make things prettier, but it's really optimized for bloggy things that are regularly updated, I think. Though I don't know what you have in mind with "maybe some tools for collaboration".


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 02- 8-12 7:24 AM
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9.3 is incorrect. They do care, just to keep your wages down and your job insecure.


Posted by: bob mcmanus | Link to this comment | 02- 8-12 7:25 AM
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"maybe some tools for collaboration"

Laydeez.



Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 02- 8-12 7:31 AM
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Has there been a "Santorum Comes From Behind" headline yet?


Posted by: Gonerill | Link to this comment | 02- 8-12 7:35 AM
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9.3 is incorrect

Bob: you wrote comment 9. It's not necessary to opine regarding its veracity.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 02- 8-12 7:43 AM
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free logic textbook

Amphiboly alert!


Posted by: One of Many | Link to this comment | 02- 8-12 7:54 AM
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I thought it was Kent Brockman who opined that democracy doesn't work.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 02- 8-12 8:22 AM
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16 is right.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 02- 8-12 8:28 AM
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Let me step in here.

Homer said "Democracy doesn't work" after the townspeople voted to expel all illegal immigrants.

Kent Brockman said "Democracy doesn't work" after the US Congress voted down the bill that would have saved Springfield from being destroyed by a comet.


Posted by: Cryptic ned | Link to this comment | 02- 8-12 8:37 AM
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Nobody in their right mind watches the newer episodes.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 02- 8-12 8:38 AM
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Those episodes aired in 1996 and 1995 respectively.


Posted by: Cryptic ned | Link to this comment | 02- 8-12 8:40 AM
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O.K. But Brockman was first.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 02- 8-12 8:44 AM
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Glad to do our (MN) part. From what I hear, attendance at the MN GOP caucuses was way down, and was primarily small businessmen exchanging cards with each other in the hopes of getting some work. But still, Santorum (losing to Obama) in 2012! Yay!


Posted by: Gld | Link to this comment | 02- 8-12 9:14 AM
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But had Homer "said it before" and would he "say it again"?


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 02- 8-12 9:18 AM
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I am feeling very confident about my bet with Ari. Obama by a wide margin. He has the gift of terrible opponents.


Posted by: Megan | Link to this comment | 02- 8-12 9:23 AM
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So if he continues to lose, when does Romney no longer look inevitable?
Yeah, I already know I should read Nate Silver.


Posted by: Eggplant | Link to this comment | 02- 8-12 9:26 AM
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No way Romney wins. Not going to happen. Obama in a lock, 300+.


Posted by: Klug | Link to this comment | 02- 8-12 9:29 AM
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24: there is no bet unless unemployment goes back up to ~9%. Read the fine print, bureaucrat. More seriously, my sense of pessimism was predicated on the economy staying as lousy as it was at the time or getting worse. That hasn't happened, leaving me less pessimistic (about this issue). Still, things could get much worse! And if they do, Romney will win!


Posted by: Von Wafer | Link to this comment | 02- 8-12 9:40 AM
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There is still the "wildcard" of bloody streets. Greece, Spain, Portugal, Occupy is still hanging in there under ever more repressive measures. This is the only available way to pressure Obama from the left. Riots won't turn the election, but could make it closer and the discourse more productive, and reveal Obama in his true form.

Still reading Noys ed, Communization and Its Discontents available free online, although I am planning to start over when I finish. Have four other books open, of course. I am telling y'all, this is a must-read. This is good

Even so, within this formulation there's a trace of what a communizing Gewalt might be. In conceptualizing the 'proletarian general strike' Benjamin pushed against these limits and arrived at a point of mapping a violence that would be a 'pure means'. A 'pure means' would only find its justification within its own activity and would change social relations without being affixed to an 'end' or any particular teleology. So, against the quantitative 'end' of the realization of surplus value as a process in itself such a 'pure means' posits the possibility of a self-perpetuating Gewalt that breaks with the exigencies of value production.

John Cunningham


Posted by: bob mcmanus | Link to this comment | 02- 8-12 9:41 AM
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Bob craves blood in the streets. I crave a smoothie.


Posted by: Von Wafer | Link to this comment | 02- 8-12 9:43 AM
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reveal Obama in his true form

A lizard? Nah, too easy. A platypus? Those are neat.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 02- 8-12 9:43 AM
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25: He looks inevitable until he starts losing to the same other candidate. If Gingrich had won all yesterday's states, that would have shaken Romney. As long as he's losing to a random other candidate, rather than one guy over and over, though, he's still got the nomination.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 02- 8-12 9:44 AM
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Romania should feel slighted by that list.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 02- 8-12 9:45 AM
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Damn, this gets in the way of Newt consolidating the anti-Romney vote. I guess even the R primary voters have woken up to Newt's inherent repulsiveness .


Posted by: PGD | Link to this comment | 02- 8-12 9:45 AM
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I crave a smoothie

I hear tell of some excellent fro-yo in your neck of the woods, which might tide you over.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 02- 8-12 9:45 AM
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34: we actually have a ridiculous surfeit of frozen yogurt shops here. It's a bit embarrassing and hints at our general bourgeois malaise, I'm sure. Those shops will be the first to have their plate glass smashed in the coming revolution! Yogurt will run cold in the streets!


Posted by: Von Wafer | Link to this comment | 02- 8-12 9:54 AM
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Somebody opened four frozen yogurt shops near me, three of the same chain. I don't understand it.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 02- 8-12 9:56 AM
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29:I crave universal sisterhood, peace and prosperity for all, single-payer, a Maverick finals, and lots of contemplative cinema, with ponies and hugs. Does this make me a good liberal?

What I want, my ideal, doesn't much matter, has little effect on anything, doesn't make me a good or bad person, and has little to do with what will actually happen or what is useful.

Til I see how the summer is shaking.


Posted by: bob mcmanus | Link to this comment | 02- 8-12 9:56 AM
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What I don't want is stall, stall, stall, let's get to 2016, yes it keeps getting worse but let's just survive til 2020, and maybe a miracle will happen or aliens will come.

By the time liberals get past their despair and terror of the Enemy the lakes will have boiled away.


Posted by: bob mcmanus | Link to this comment | 02- 8-12 10:00 AM
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This liberal has gotten past my despair and terror. These days I hold my stomach as I laugh at the clown show and hope it goes on for months.


Posted by: Megan | Link to this comment | 02- 8-12 10:04 AM
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40

I used to hate Gingrich. But then he became so entertaining and party-destructive.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 02- 8-12 10:12 AM
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I would kind of love it if he won and bankrupted the country buying a moonbase. I'm not saying it's good policy, or sane, or even something that he'd be likely to even attempt to do. But Luna City would be awesome.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 02- 8-12 10:16 AM
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I recently noted that President Gingrich would be precisely the sort of President that fafblog depicted President Bush as having been: keen to fuck a water buffalo on national television, prone to starting wars entirely for kicks, likely to blow up the moon.


Posted by: Von Wafer | Link to this comment | 02- 8-12 10:20 AM
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I mean, I know he says he want to build Moon Base Alpha, but he's incompetent. So isn't is more likely that he'll blow up the moon instead? If only be accident? Come to think of it, I'm sure there's a position paper from a conservative think tank floating that as a possible fix for climate change. That or huge hurricane shutters hoisted into space to keep the intrusive sun away.


Posted by: Von Wafer | Link to this comment | 02- 8-12 10:23 AM
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If Callista Gingrich gets cancer or MS, every water buffalo will start looking nervously over its shoulder.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 02- 8-12 10:24 AM
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Poor strategy: he'll just think they're being flirtatious.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 02- 8-12 10:27 AM
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likely to blow up the moon

We're earthlings! Let's blow up earth things!


Posted by: Mr. Blandings | Link to this comment | 02- 8-12 10:27 AM
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47

What's the cost of a moonbase relative to the cost of the war in Iraq?


Posted by: Unfoggetarian: "Pause endlessly, then go in" (9) | Link to this comment | 02- 8-12 10:27 AM
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huge hurricane shutters hoisted into space to keep the intrusive sun away.

You laugh, but Gingrich suggested mirrors.


Posted by: Annelid Gustator | Link to this comment | 02- 8-12 10:30 AM
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I'm confused. Is there some thing I missed with Gingrich and water buffaloes? I've consulted with Google but am not coming up with anything.


Posted by: urple | Link to this comment | 02- 8-12 10:39 AM
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I think VW misremembered a fafblog entry in which Hillary Clinton sought to demonstrate her toughness by beating up a waterbuffalo.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 02- 8-12 10:40 AM
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41: I would kind of love it if he won and bankrupted the country buying a moonbase. I'm not saying it's good policy, or sane, or even something that he'd be likely to even attempt to do. But Luna City would be awesome.

You temptress. You know my boyhood dream is to walk on the moon. And yes, Luna City would be totally kewl.


Posted by: Tripp | Link to this comment | 02- 8-12 10:47 AM
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52

I don't see any good reason to think Gingrich would be an appreciably worse president than Santorum.


Posted by: urple | Link to this comment | 02- 8-12 10:47 AM
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52: That's probably right. I think Gingrich would probably be more entertainingly screwy as he destroyed the world; Santorum would do as much damage, but without the same kind of panache. On the other hand, if Santorum were president, Dan Savage would instantly become the most powerful leftwing political spokesperson, which would be sort of rough considering the number of issues he's not all that left-wing about, but would also be entertaining.

So, six of one, horrifying vistas of total devastation of the other.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 02- 8-12 10:51 AM
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Isn't the moon moving away from the Earth at something like 3cm/year? Maybe if we nudged it along with missiles, the Rapture would happen even more quickly!


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 02- 8-12 10:53 AM
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Newt the Destroyer is such a compelling image. Marriages? Congress? The economy?A political party? A country? Natural satellites? His own reputation? All in a lifetime's work.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 02- 8-12 10:53 AM
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Gingrich would be a better president than Santorum because his religious looniness is a disingenuous pander while Santorum's Jesus Chrazy is, best I can tell, wholly genuine. But that's like saying being beaten with a lead pipe would hurt worse than getting beaten with a wooden bat.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 02- 8-12 11:03 AM
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I have to think that Dan Savage and the fam would head for the border the moment a Santorum presidency became reality. I sure would in his position.

So, six of one, horrifying vistas of total devastation of the other.

Stealing this, btw.


Posted by: piminnowcheez | Link to this comment | 02- 8-12 11:07 AM
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Gingrich would be a better president than Santorum because his religious looniness is a disingenuous pander while Santorum's Jesus Chrazy is, best I can tell, wholly genuine.

Right, but while Santorum is more religiously loony, Gingrich is more secularly loony. And measured on a scale of global looniness, they seem to be about equally loony, as far as I'm aware, and it's not obvious to me that one would be worse than the other.


Posted by: urple | Link to this comment | 02- 8-12 11:08 AM
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Anyone who wants a preview of what life here would be like after Pres. Gingrich blows up the moon could read Susan Beth Pfeffer's YA dystopia Life As We Knew It


Posted by: Megan | Link to this comment | 02- 8-12 11:09 AM
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Gingrich seems more likely to wake up one morning and decide to bomb China because he's unhappy with their currency manipulation. And I wouldn't trust him at all to use the power of the Patriot Act in good faith.


Posted by: urple | Link to this comment | 02- 8-12 11:14 AM
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50: it's called poetic license, literalist.


Posted by: Von Wafer | Link to this comment | 02- 8-12 11:16 AM
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60: http://www.rawstory.com/rs/2011/10/11/santorum-i-want-to-go-to-war-with-china/


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 02- 8-12 11:20 AM
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Theres been a surprising amount of yellow peril stuff this campaign season.


Posted by: Robert Halford | Link to this comment | 02- 8-12 11:23 AM
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He's not the sharpest tool in the shed, but at least he's local.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 02- 8-12 11:24 AM
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Or for "water buffaloes" read "giraffes."


Posted by: Minivet | Link to this comment | 02- 8-12 11:24 AM
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66

64 to 62, I suppose.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 02- 8-12 11:24 AM
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67

61: in context, I think he meant "trade war", although admittedly that's exactly the opposite of what he said.

Regardless, maybe I've been underestimating his insanity.


Posted by: urple | Link to this comment | 02- 8-12 11:25 AM
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30 I'm imagining those secret evil dopplegangers in R. Scott Bakker's Prince of Nothing books. Bob of course the only Dunayim among use, and is thus able to penetrate the disguise.


Posted by: teraz kurwa my | Link to this comment | 02- 8-12 11:26 AM
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But that's like saying being beaten with a lead pipe would hurt worse than getting beaten with a wooden bat.

Is that true?


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 02- 8-12 11:32 AM
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67.2: Actually I think Santorum is pretty much a run-of-the-mill conventional, pandering, hypocritical asshat of a Republican politician.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 02- 8-12 11:34 AM
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If someone had told me five years ago that one day we would be seriously and relevantly discussing whether Newt Gingrich or Rick Santorum would be a better president I would not have believed them.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 02- 8-12 11:44 AM
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71: Excuse me, we're talking about which would be a worse president.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 02- 8-12 11:46 AM
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69: Only one way to find out.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 02- 8-12 11:46 AM
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73: Roadtrip!!!


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 02- 8-12 11:47 AM
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What about a bag of oranges -- isn't that something you beat people with? I'm not sure why.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 02- 8-12 11:48 AM
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71: Only one way to find out.


Posted by: Cryptic ned | Link to this comment | 02- 8-12 11:48 AM
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The idea of Santorum picking judges is mind-boggling scary. Otherwise I agree with 70. Whereas Newt's actually unstable and might destroy the world.

One of these years you have to expect the religious right to get their act together and elect a president. I actually think in the long run it'll be good because it'll discredit the program and result in less politics in christianity.

I still stand by my prediction that this election was Huckabee's for the taking. I think current events are bearing that out strongly.


Posted by: Unfoggetarian: "Pause endlessly, then go in" (9) | Link to this comment | 02- 8-12 11:48 AM
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Isn't the moon moving away from the Earth at something like 3cm/year?

The earth's crust is not perfectly rigid, and in order to flex the crust, the moon does work on the earth. Jupiter is even more complicated. WOrking out what this all means in the long run led Henri Poincare to write a really interesting book.


Posted by: lw | Link to this comment | 02- 8-12 11:52 AM
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What about a bag of oranges -- isn't that something you beat people with? I'm not sure why.

According to Grifters, it's like this:

LILLY: You hit a person with the oranges in the towel, they get big, awful looking bruises, but they don't really get hurt, not if you do it right. It's for working scams against insurance companies.

BOBO: And if you do it wrong?

LILLY: It can louse up your insides. You can get puh, puh, puh...

BOBO: (impatient) What's that, Lilly?

Lilly pauses, bent over, tightly holding an orange.

LILLY: Permanent damage.

BOBO: You'll never shit right again.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 02- 8-12 11:53 AM
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discredit the program and result in less politics in christianity.

cf Church of England between Henry VIII and George IV, or Harun al-Rashid and the disintegration of the Caliphate.


Posted by: lw | Link to this comment | 02- 8-12 11:56 AM
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One of these years you have to expect the religious right to get their act together and elect a president. I actually think in the long run it'll be good because it'll discredit the program and result in less politics in christianity.

Isn't there a case to be made that this has already happened (2000-2008)? The program was pretty thoroughly discredited and I'm sure I've read something about how the young evangelicals aren't as psyched for politics anymore (and don't have a political leader like Graham or Farwell to bring them back into political activism anymore).


Posted by: Megan | Link to this comment | 02- 8-12 12:00 PM
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I still stand by my prediction that this election was Huckabee's for the taking.

I'll bet Tim Pawlenty is really regretting his having dropped out, now that everybody* gets a turn at being the frontrunner.

*Except Ron Paul.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 02- 8-12 12:02 PM
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Isn't there a case to be made that this has already happened (2000-2008)?

I would add 1980 and 1984. Not that either Reagan or GWB strike me as genuinely religious men, but they certainly had the unified backing of the religious right and looked to churches to drive turnout.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 02- 8-12 12:09 PM
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Jesus Chrazy

Pronounced [ħ]razy, I assume.

(Side note: "In chat rooms and online forums, the letter Chet repeated denotes laughter, similar to the English LOL.")


Posted by: Sir Kraab | Link to this comment | 02- 8-12 12:09 PM
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Dammit. "In chat rooms and online forums, the letter Chet repeated denotes laughter, similar to the English LOL."


Posted by: Sir Kraab | Link to this comment | 02- 8-12 12:11 PM
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JAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJA


Posted by: ABUELA OPINIONADA | Link to this comment | 02- 8-12 12:11 PM
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now that everybody* gets a turn at being the frontrunner.

*Except Ron Paul.

Wait, I thought even Ron Paul got his 10 days in the sun? Wasn't eveyone pretending to take him seriously for a brief period a few weeks ago? Just before Iowa, maybe? (I honestly don't really remember the timing.)


Posted by: urple | Link to this comment | 02- 8-12 12:23 PM
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What about a bag of oranges -- isn't that something you beat people with? I'm not sure why.

Bag of doorknobs, I thought.


Posted by: Minivet | Link to this comment | 02- 8-12 12:28 PM
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70
67.2: Actually I think Santorum is pretty much a run-of-the-mill conventional, pandering, hypocritical asshat of a Republican politician.

Santorum actually does seem more sincere about it than most Republican politicians, FWIW. I don't want to Google it right now and what I've read is usually in the context of someone not wanting to judge how he handled difficult circumstances, but I seem to remember reading anecdotes about his personal life, like how his family handled a stillbirth or something and another incident or two, that make him seem genuinely much more religious than most people.

81: Ah, but Bush wasn't a "real" "conservative". He went to Yale rather than Liberty University, he explicitly said that the War on Terror wasn't a war on Islam, he didn't zero-fund the Department of Education, his foreign policy had a humanitarian tendency once or twice. Clearly too swishy. The U.S. would be a utopia by now if Bush had been a true conservative rather than a moderate. Conservativism cannot fail, it can only be failed.

Seriously, cognitive dissonance is too strong for Bush to have cause the purported shift in attitudes. Otherwise-reasonable conservatives like Andrew Sullivan seem to think that a good portion of Bush's mistakes were the result of being too left-wing. And, realistically, Bush actually could have been even more incompetent and/or even further right-wing. As bad as he was, he could have, I don't know, appointed three Supreme Court justices instead of two, or been Dick Cheney or something.

It's possible to imagine a presidential candidate or president so conservative that he really does discredit the religious right. However, it's much harder to imagine that being worth the price of the damage he'd do.


Posted by: Cyrus | Link to this comment | 02- 8-12 12:28 PM
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With Santorum, doesn't the whole dead-baby-cuddling incident undermine his run-of-the-mill conventional cred? Dead baby cuddling seems pretty sincere.


Posted by: piminnowcheez | Link to this comment | 02- 8-12 12:36 PM
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Plus his wife used to fuck a much older abortion provider, so less noble motives too.


Posted by: Unfoggetarian: "Pause endlessly, then go in" (9) | Link to this comment | 02- 8-12 12:36 PM
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Dead baby cuddling seems pretty sincere.

As others have said, I'm inclined to cut anyone in such a situation a reasonable amount of slack. I mean, I'm not calling you an unfeeling monster, but you're an unfeeling monster. And now I'm sending the Santorum campaign the $5 I just just found.


Posted by: Von Wafer | Link to this comment | 02- 8-12 12:41 PM
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92: We're in agreement here, actually (well, not the unfeeling monster part). Dead baby cuddling does, in fact, seem to me like a sincere act. While worded fliply, perhaps, my comment was made without attached irony or implied eyebrow-raising.


Posted by: piminnowcheez | Link to this comment | 02- 8-12 12:46 PM
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91: Who happened to be the ob-gyn who delivered her. But we've covered all of that here before.

But his actual record in Congress demonstrated much more moral flexibility. We'll see, maybe Santorum Mark II would be sincere.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 02- 8-12 12:49 PM
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93: well, then I disagree! Who would cuddle a dead baby? Gross! And who would cuddle the cuddler of dead babies if not an unfeeling monster? J'accuse!


Posted by: Von Wafer | Link to this comment | 02- 8-12 12:52 PM
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Who would cuddle a dead baby?

Wafer's all "Wham, bam, thank you stillborn!"


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 02- 8-12 12:55 PM
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It's dead baby cuddling all the way down.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 02- 8-12 12:55 PM
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98

What about a bag of oranges -- isn't that something you beat people with? I'm not sure why.

So the person you're beating can't come back with a witty and devastating rhyme.


Posted by: Mister Smearcase | Link to this comment | 02- 8-12 12:56 PM
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In the course of some witty and devastating rhyme program-related research (I always forget that "month" was the hard rhyme in the rhyming contest in The Sot-Weed Factor not "orange") came across this limerick attributed to Isaac Asimov:

A lady from North Carolina
Placed fiddle strings 'cross her vagina.
With the proper size cocks
What was sex became Bach's
Toccata and Fugue in D Minor.

Is there any evidence that Asimov in fact wrote it?


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 02- 8-12 1:23 PM
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100

It was a fetus, not a baby, by most traditional measures. Cuddling a dead fetus may besincere. Writing an op ed piece about it very shortly afterwards, and having his wife write a friggin book about later, not so sincere.


Posted by: unimaginative | Link to this comment | 02- 8-12 1:29 PM
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101

If Asimov wrote that, I will never forgive him for how little sex made its way into his books.


Posted by: Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 02- 8-12 1:36 PM
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102

Maybe it was in Isaac Asimov's Treasury of Humor.


Posted by: Cryptic ned | Link to this comment | 02- 8-12 1:40 PM
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103

101: Well, his having grown up in Brooklyn (arrived from Russia age 3) would make the "D Minor" rhyme a relatively natural one.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 02- 8-12 1:41 PM
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104

Where is alameida from?


Posted by: Eggplant | Link to this comment | 02- 8-12 1:47 PM
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105

The other Cackalacky.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 02- 8-12 1:53 PM
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106

98 cracked me up.


Posted by: Sir Kraab | Link to this comment | 02- 8-12 2:02 PM
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107

106 is exactly right.


Posted by: k-sky | Link to this comment | 02- 8-12 2:03 PM
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108

Asimov did write several books of dirty limericks, so I see no particular reason to doubt he wrote that one.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 02- 8-12 2:15 PM
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109

108: Ah, so I see; was not aware of that side of him.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 02- 8-12 2:23 PM
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110

In a house by the hill of Blorenge
Lived an honest old Sikh for a month,
Sometimes sucking on an orange,
Sometimes reading from his Granth.


Posted by: chris y | Link to this comment | 02- 8-12 2:24 PM
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111

Ahhhh . . . glimpses of an earlier time . . .


Posted by: Tripp | Link to this comment | 02- 8-12 2:48 PM
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112

'Oranges' isn't easy to rhyme,
Even when used in committing a crime,
A bag of 'em's easy to use
For a beating that don't leave a bruise,
When you're punishing criminal slime.

But if you're a decent old crime boss,
And your underling's just come across,
With a convincing excuse
For spending too loose,
A cigar burn may cover your loss.


Posted by: Natilo Paennim | Link to this comment | 02- 8-12 4:07 PM
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113

110: Chris wins for rhyming 'month'. The rest of us have to walk behind a flatulent horse the rest of the way to the Cambridge ferry. (On preview, maybe not Nat.)


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 02- 8-12 4:14 PM
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114

101 to 100?


Posted by: Benquo | Link to this comment | 02- 8-12 4:17 PM
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115

the first limerick in 112 is metrically atrocious.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 02- 8-12 4:35 PM
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116

That will be google's first hit ever for "metrically atrocious".


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 02- 8-12 4:56 PM
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117

Atrocity is generally measured in imperial units.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 02- 8-12 4:57 PM
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118

1 gingrich = minus 72 rat orgasms


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 02- 8-12 5:03 PM
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119

Measurement of santorum in rat orgasms cannot be attempted on a family blog.


Posted by: Not Prince Hamlet | Link to this comment | 02- 8-12 6:15 PM
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120

"Metrically atrocious" has implanted the Lucky Charms jingle in my head.


Posted by: Mr. Blandings | Link to this comment | 02- 8-12 6:26 PM
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121

61: it's called poetic license, literalist.

So that's what the old folks are calling it these days.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 02- 8-12 6:32 PM
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122

50: it's called poetic license, literalist.

mumble mumble Founders mumble something or other is a lie mumble


Posted by: fake accent | Link to this comment | 02- 8-12 6:36 PM
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123

OK, maybe Santorum's a little more out there than I've been saying (or his campaign at least). His South Carolina campaign sent out a Hanukkah card last year inscribed with John 8:12 I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 02- 8-12 6:59 PM
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124

I seem to remember Santorum being heavily involved in the Schiavo stuff. I also seem to remember that the Schiavo case changed some people's minds about the GOP, going from support on war and economics grounds to thinking that leadership was actually kind of fucked up and crazy. But I don't have any data to back that up.


Posted by: fake accent | Link to this comment | 02- 8-12 7:42 PM
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125


||
OK, Mineshaft, please comment on the advisability or inadvisability of accepting Linked In requests from random people you met while representing your employer in a job-fair type setting.

Does it change your answer if the requester is 5'10", blonde, and hot?

|>


Posted by: knecht ruprecht | Link to this comment | 02- 8-12 7:47 PM
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126

Note to Fleur: the preceding was written in jest.


Posted by: knecht ruprecht | Link to this comment | 02- 8-12 7:48 PM
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127

A lot of people confuse Santorum with Ralph Reed because they look similar and make a living from nauseating and hateful religious sanctimony. Ralph Reed is an entirely cynical asshole and liar, that has been proven. Santorum is more like Michele Bachmann without the psychotic obsession with evil gay people.


Posted by: Cryptic ned | Link to this comment | 02- 8-12 7:49 PM
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And thinking about the Schiavo case now, how did that end up being a national story? This is one of those sickening things about politics and political news. You get these stories blown up to become the most important thing right now and everyone talks about how it's a story of great national significance and everyone is expected to have strong opinions about it and it's going to be something that people talk about for years and make a big difference in campaigns and in our lives and in how we view ourselves as Americans and in whether or not we can remain a shining beacon to the world or if another country will watch how we respond and then swoop in and pounce on us for being weak and lacking the moral fiber we once had and the nuclear family will decay and judges and unelected panels will be able to order us to our deaths and children will talk back to their parents and men will marry and then divorce dogs without even having the decency to seek an annulment first as if marriage to a dog was a legitimate thing! and more often than not the story just gets dropped or fades out.*

I know this is the kind of comment that gets a person called naive, because we all know this is the way the world works, and it's a phenomenon not limited to political news, but it's still messed up.

*Actual campaigns with all the daily horse-racing are the worst for this. One of the things the Obama campaign did well in 2008 was patiently wait for shit to die down, and not incidentally gain a reputation for being able to play the long game.


Posted by: fake accent | Link to this comment | 02- 8-12 7:58 PM
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I think VW misremembered a fafblog entry in which Hillary Clinton sought to demonstrate her toughness by beating up a waterbuffalo.

Bush, as I recall, decapitates and skullfucks Wilford Brimley on national television during the Super Bowl halftime show. And I think it was on kungfu monkey, not fafblog.


Posted by: knecht ruprecht | Link to this comment | 02- 8-12 7:59 PM
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One of the things I remember most vividly about Santorum's last period of national prominence was some profile of him (I think in the NYT Magazine) where he was quoted as saying GWB was "our first Catholic president" in the sense in which Clinton was our first black one. He didn't really have a coherent response when the interviewer mentioned Kennedy.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 02- 8-12 8:01 PM
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124: Right, but it involved this classic bit of politicking which was 100% Santorum standard operating procedure (including the Social Security "reform" dodge--it was after it was clear that it was going to go south):

In 2005, Santorum made headlines -- not all positive -- for visiting the deathbed of Terri Schiavo, the woman at the center of a national right-to-die controversy. What my Philadelphia Daily News colleague John Baer later exposed was that the real reason he was in the Tampa, Fla., area was to collect money at a $250,000 fundraiser organized by executives of Outback Steakhouses, a company that shared Santorum's passion for a low minimum wage for waitresses and other rank-and-file workers. Santorum's efforts were also aided by his unusual mode of travel: Wal-Mart's corporate jet. And he canceled a public meeting on Social Security reform "out of respect for the Schiavo family" even as the closed fundraisers went on.
And yes Schiavo was one of the bigger shark-jumps of the decade for the Republicans (and one that actually stuck a bit), although the national political media ran with it (for a while) in a fairly disturbing way--in particular the breathless coverage of the momentousness of Bush actually interrupting his vacation to return to the White House. What a world, what a world.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 02- 8-12 8:18 PM
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129: Actually from another widely-lamented ex-blog.

I also wonder how much further these ratings will fall before they bump up against the hard BTKWB limit, the theoretical minimum for Bush approval. BTKWB (the President's approval ratings the morning after he pre-empted Monday Night Football in order to Bind, Torture, and Kill Wilford Brimley for his own sexual gratification)


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 02- 8-12 8:23 PM
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A lighter note on 131: "Brain-Dead Teen, Only Capable Of Rolling Eyes And Texting, To Be Euthanized". The parents of 13-year old Caitlin Teagart have decided to end her life, saying she can now do nothing but lay on the couch and whine about things being "gay."


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 02- 8-12 8:26 PM
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134

I suspect this is the Fafblog post, but it is just a buffalo, not a water buffalo.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 02- 8-12 8:29 PM
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135

131-134: I'm trying to straighten shit out here, you ungrateful motherfuckers.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 02- 8-12 8:37 PM
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124: I also seem to remember that the Schiavo case changed some people's minds about the GOP

I understand that John Cole (Balloon Juice), once a Republican, switched parties to the Dems, and will never go ever back, over the development of the Schiavo case. I haven't gone back to find the relevant posts, so I can't provide links.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 02- 8-12 8:39 PM
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137

Don't think we don't appreciate it, JP.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 02- 8-12 8:40 PM
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138

120: For me it was a different tune:

NaTILo Paennim's limerick was metric'lly atrocious
Anathema to natural law as stated by H. Grotius
Outraging W------ (B--) so much it made him quite ferocious
NaTILo Paennim's limerick was metric'lly atrocious
Um-diddle-iddle-iddle etc.


Posted by: One of Many | Link to this comment | 02- 8-12 8:41 PM
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kfmonkey had the "crazification factor", which was basically a total bite of the BTKWB limit, and I'm pretty sure he knows it was, but the "crazification factor" is what caught on.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 02- 8-12 8:45 PM
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137: Fuckin' A. But not talking about you so much, more those other motherfuckers.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 02- 8-12 8:46 PM
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141

The Kung-Fu Monkey post in question.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 02- 8-12 8:46 PM
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(I jest about the biting; the kfmonkey post is pretty good, too. Nobody was ever as funny as my co-blogger, though.)


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 02- 8-12 8:47 PM
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139: I always* assumed that was the case. But I didn't really know what to do about it. Complain loudly? Not helpful. The thing is, The Editors was the funniest ever. Also, even though this makes me suspect as an arbiter of good taste, I liked fafblog.

* For "always" insert "waaaaaay after the fact" because I didn't start reading blogs until after blogs were dead.


Posted by: Von Wafer | Link to this comment | 02- 8-12 8:48 PM
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Huh, I try to give your buddy props, and you pwn me. Fuck you. Brady's never going to be the same, you know, now that he's gone Hollywood. And I just pledged 10% of my salary for the rest of my life to the MPAA's PAC.


Posted by: Von Wafer | Link to this comment | 02- 8-12 8:50 PM
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Are you going to tell me now that L33T Justice was derivative?

I cannot help but think that as Nixon walked to the chopper, somewhere in the darkened hallways of the White House Dick Cheney shook his head, spit, and whispered: "Pussy."


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 02- 8-12 8:50 PM
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That 27% crazification factor thing was originally kfMonkey? I did read the original post, but damned if I remembered where it was, after a while. We don't give enough credit where credit is due.

It would be as if people didn't know where "grok" was from.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 02- 8-12 8:50 PM
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I could tell you about my weird conspiracy theories about kung-fu monkey, but why? They're at least as half-baked as my weird conspiracy theories about Wendy's biting my style, and god knows those got no kind of friendly reception 'round here.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 02- 8-12 8:51 PM
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144: Huh, I try to give your buddy props, and you pwn me.

We white people call it "poetic justice".


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 02- 8-12 8:52 PM
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146.2: Heinlein totally ripped of Sifu Tweety's grandfather.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 02- 8-12 8:53 PM
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They're at least as half-baked as my weird conspiracy theories about Wendy's biting my style...

Interested in an I-always-suspected-something-like-this sort of way.


Posted by: Von Wafer | Link to this comment | 02- 8-12 8:54 PM
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150: eh yeah I mean if you've gotten that far your theories are about as well developed as mine. He never seemed terribly interested in linking to us or answering emails, for instance.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 02- 8-12 8:57 PM
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No, I wanted to hear about Wendy's. I hate those pig-fuckers. (But yeah, the relationship between the crazification factor and the aforementioned Editors post was not lost on me. Also, Leverage pretty much suck(ed?)(s?). So there.)


Posted by: Von Wafer | Link to this comment | 02- 8-12 9:00 PM
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153

+f


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 02- 8-12 9:01 PM
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154

It was Tweety who first asked about the beef?


Posted by: Eggplant | Link to this comment | 02- 8-12 9:07 PM
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152: oh, that. Well, several years ago my friends and I made an art car for burning man that was named (based on a vision/journey I had experienced in the desert on a different occasion) the "Baconator". It's not the most original thing in the world, but it was a phrase I had coined, and certainly we hadn't seen it elsewhere. Several months later (long enough for some LA-based young creative professional to get back to town, clean the dust off his clothes, and put together a pitch) Wendy's launched a big push for... well. You know the rest.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 02- 8-12 9:08 PM
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155: That theory is made more plausible by the fact that the Baconator existed as the more literally named "Bacon Double Cheeseburger" before it was rebranded and launched with a big media splash.


Posted by: knecht ruprecht | Link to this comment | 02- 8-12 9:14 PM
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I had heard an abbreviated version of the Baconator story before, but not with the part about Burning Man, which makes it both weirder and more plausible.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 02- 8-12 9:16 PM
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158

Except that once you possess a functional baconator, you can always go back in time to make chronologically convenient art cars.


Posted by: foolishmortal | Link to this comment | 02- 8-12 9:18 PM
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159

You went on a vision quest and brought back an advertising slogan? Your spirit guide sold out, man.


Posted by: Eggplant | Link to this comment | 02- 8-12 9:18 PM
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Further to 155: If only there were some legal construct that would allow the originators of clever turns of phrase to obtain some kind of state-backed guarantee of exclusive use. Maybe something designed along the lines of property rights.

Naahhh, that would never work.


Posted by: knecht ruprecht | Link to this comment | 02- 8-12 9:19 PM
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136 The Schiavo thing was the final straw for Cole. He was already pissed off about torture and had always had little use for the Christian Right. What is funny is that post Schiavo he quickly embraced the liberal positions on issues that he'd been been solidly conservative on until then. Sort of a reverse 'I ustabe for higher taxes for the rich, but 9/11 changed everything' shift.


Posted by: teraz kurwa my | Link to this comment | 02- 8-12 9:20 PM
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158 would be a good point, but this particular time machine only works in the black rock desert.

159: I brought back a time machine. The dickheads at Wendy's made it a slogan.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 02- 8-12 9:24 PM
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162: Oh yeah, I've heard all parts of this story but I never put them all together.


Posted by: Eggplant | Link to this comment | 02- 8-12 9:33 PM
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Wendy's. I hate those pig-fuckers.

Better than what they do to us and the chickens.


Posted by: (But really, my) Cows | Link to this comment | 02- 8-12 9:34 PM
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Has anyone heard from Apo? Is he okay? Tough beat tonight.


Posted by: Von Wafer | Link to this comment | 02- 8-12 9:36 PM
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161: Hm, I never did manage to locate the posting period when Cole went through all that. Somewhat interested, if you know. He doesn't seem to want to talk about it.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 02- 8-12 9:39 PM
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Entertaining game, though.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 02- 8-12 9:46 PM
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167: true, though it's always hard to watch Duke win.


Posted by: Von Wafer | Link to this comment | 02- 8-12 9:51 PM
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Saw a car with specialized plates the other day that read DUKEYOU. From other paraphernalia, seemed to be a Duke supporter. In Wisconsin Florida.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 02- 8-12 9:55 PM
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